deliver an amazingly boring presentation
TRANSCRIPT
Namaste to the chairperson, namaste to the distinguished guests,
namaste to you all, namaste to the people who invited me here
to speak, namaste and namaste for all this who I
couldn’t mention.
#1Start by following convention
Alright, let me take out this
note - written by my secretary. The note is only
around 30 pages therefore I request you to pay attention to every
word.
#2Start by reading out from a note
Hi everyone. Please forgive me. I
didn’t get enough time to prepare this one. In fact, I don’t even know what I’m going to talk about. Really
sorry about that.
#3Start by making apologies
#4Go one-way traffic
Deliver your presentation without
giving the audience any chance to interact. The effect is even greater if you slide-
read or read your notes all the way.
#5Speak in a monotone
Talk in a monotone, audience
will feel a constant drone like buzz in their ears and
will eventually lull into the sleep mode.
I mean you can sort of
understand this you know concept of ummm
equality between you know two genders is ummm
never going to you know work.
#6Use filler words
#7End by making excuses
If you didn’t understand my
presentation, I’m really sorry. I should have
prepared for your level. I can happily email you
the slides.
#8Ending with a Q&A
Umm, what was your question? Let me go back to slide no. 52. Does that answer your
question? I can read it again if you want me to. Hope
that clears your query.
I know my time is up but I still have
37 slides to go and 13 mins to rant. So don’t
sleep yet. I’ll need your 30 more mins.
#9End by exceeding the given time
following convention reading form note making apologies
Start by
go one way traffic speak in monotone
use filler words
Middle
following convention reading form note making apologies
Start by
go one way traffic speak in monotone
use filler words
making excuses finishing with Q&A exceeding the time
Middle End by