defense essay revision
TRANSCRIPT
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photography, clothes, acting, and scenery. This wasn’t entirely on purpose. Most of what is
going on in the picture stemmed from me creating a centric theme or message to convey, and
using just clothes was too hard. The message I am trying to sendsending isn’t shown solely by
looking at a single aspect of the picture. There are many things to consider. Facial expression,
body language, and what I’m holding are all things to consider. This project has evolved much
past what I had initially set out to do. This isn’t just about clothes anymore.
Clothes have been a recent discovery to me, but now I am very judgmental when it comes
to how a person dresses. A lot can be predicted simply by looking at the way a person dresses. If
someone wears gym shorts and a t-shirt to class, then one may assume either this person didn’t
have enough time to change or this person has poor sense of fashion. Everyone judges and
assumes based on how a person dresses. If you walk into a Wal-Mart wearing a blue polo and
chinos, then you will probably be approached by many customers with questions. This is because
people associate your outfit with someone who works at Wal-Mart. Everyone does this. Walking
into a Wal-Mart with a blue polo and chinos is an easy way to sample this. This is a good
example of how much meaning your choice of wardrobe can carry.
You can find meaning behind almost anything in a person’s choice of wardrobe.
Choosing a leather strap on a watch rather than a metal one is an easy way to dress down a suit.
Letting your dress shoes break in and have some wear to them gives them a more vintage vibe,
while keeping them shiny makes them more suitable to wear during a press conference. Wearing
a three button suit is a more old fashioned style, and wearing a single button suit in a slim fit is
considered modern. The smallest details in fashion can completely change the meaning an article
of clothing carries. If being overly critical in peoples clothing choices has taught me anything in
literature it would be to pay attention to even the most minute detail. I feel beingBeing overly
Comment [PL6]: Tone change.
Comment [PL7]: Tone Change
Comment [PL8]: This isn’t one of my
but I had a problem with this section. I m
claim, but fail to elaborate and explain th
importance of it.
Comment [PL9]: Transition
Comment [PL10]: Tone change
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critical in the way I dress has helped me realize what meaning I am trying to send with the words
I am using and the sentence structure I have applied.
The series of pictures that make up my project are meant to be chronological. They
represent what form of writing I mostly partook in, and what influenced my writing. Each of
them follows a general theme.
Like any abstract piece of art meant to convey a message, being overly critical and really
reading into meaning is exactly what must be done if you really want to hear the message that
my pictures are sending. Everything must be considered. Not just the clothes like how I
previously intended. Facial expression, camera angle, lighting, and background are things you
must look at to name a few. The first picture is a good way of sampling a picture that needs to be
critically analyzed if you want to understand it.
The first picture I took is supposed to show my immaturity and fear of writing. I am
dressed in nothing but a green blanket. My hair is messy, I am alone. I am armed with a
composition notebook. The vantage point of the camera is looking down on me. The lighting is
done with a lousy flash. These all are attempts to convey the centric theme that I am immature
and afraid. The composition notebook represents the only outlet I had for writing at the time:
elementary school daily journals. I had an odd experience in elementary school. My teachers
thought I had a learning deficiency when it came to writing. I would barely write anything in my
journal when told to, and when I did it usually pertained to how I didn’t feel like writing.
Nearing the end of the year, my teachers were thinking about holding me back a year. It was at
this time I finally decided to write. I filled up my notebook with words and my teachers passed
me. This entire experience was most probably a negative for me. I have had the preconceived
Comment [PL11]: Worthless awkwa
paragraph
Comment [PL12]: Better paragraph t
introduces how you are supposed to rea
project.
Comment [PL13]: Tone change
Comment [PL14]: Tone Change
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notion that I was a lousy writer for as long as I can remember. Most likely tThis is where it
comes from. In the picture I am literally clinging to the composition notebook though. If this
object represents such a bad experience for me, then why cling to it? Though elementary school
was a generally negative writing experience for me, it was also my only writing experience. It
was all I had. While the notebook represents my lack of ability to put pen to paper it is also the
only reminder I have that I can write. The downward angle and flash are used in tandem to
portray the message of how small weak and ignorant I was at this stage. Having a downward
angle on anything is a technique often used in film to mitigate the size of something. Also it
literally makes it so that the viewer is literally looking down on the subject. Looking down on
something generally carries the conception that the subject is in a lesser position than you. The
flash was mostly used to portray plain stupidity. The effect the flash casts on the subject is
something I would relate to an animal. The empty white eyes are characteristic of taking a
picture of a beast in nature. And as everyone knows, beasts aren’t the most intelligent. This is an
attempt to shows I was a bit lower than average when it comes to writing. The green blanket is
honestly there just to make myself not naked. If I had absolutely no shame, then I might have
taken this in the nude. I wanted to show how I was almost an empty palate, and that I could still
grow into something. I was still young.
Unlike the first picture, the second picture has me equipped with more clothes.The
second picture has me dressed semi-formally while falling asleep on the toilet with a laptop in
my lap. The formal wear is done to show what type of writing I did at this stage in my life. That
being the five paragraph essay. Past simply my outfit being formal, my outfit is also poorly put
together. My collar isn’t straight, my shirt isn’t buttoned up properly, my tie is poorly tied, and
my socks don’t match. The way I dress here is supposed to show shows that I try to be formal,
Comment [PL15]: Tone Change
Comment [PL16]: Tone change
Comment [PL17]: Tone change
Comment [PL18]: Transition
Comment [PL19]: Tone change
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writing. The theme I try to send across in this picture is creative and informal. My style of
writing was also influenced by a particular band. That band being modest mouse. I learned how
to put twists on words and double meanings. Many of my works during this time period
integrated many of their concepts. This was also where I learned that good writing holds
meaning. Be it the meaning of life, or what I had for lunch last night. I learned from modest
mouse that good writing is used to send a message. Looking back at my writing from this time
period, it was clear I grew in that my writing tried to convey a lasting message or impression on
the viewer or reader. Even though the second and third pictures are meant to be different on
almost every level, the fourth picture combines elements from both iterations.
The fourth picture is a culmination of my past selves. It depicts me wearing casual yet
semi-formal attire. I’m holding a red party cup while standing next to a carton of minute maid
juice. I am actually wearing the same button down and sweater from two of my other pictures.
This is not simply because I have a lack of clothes to work with (though that is part of it). It
shows how I have taken parts of my literacy history, and created a new entity. In this stage of
writing I found myself writing more formal texts. The fact that I loathe formula writing also
shines through. I try to incorporate as much personality as I can into my writing. This personality
and sense of humor I feel comes from my creative stage as seen from picture three. Literally my
outfit is a combination of my formal clothes and creative clothes. My writing during this stage
reflects that. The red party cup and minute maid are mostly there to try and set tone for the
picture. The tone being sarcastic. You would expect a party cup to be full of an alcoholic drink,
but this one is full of a much more innocent substance. This picture is supposed to also be very
different from my first picture. It is supposed to show how much I have matured and grown over
the years.
Comment [PL22]: Tone change
Comment [PL23]: Transition
Comment [PL24]: Transition.
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After doing this project I found that the genre I chose is only really limited by the author.
I could have done so much more if I had invested more time in this project. Anything abstract
can be read into much more, so the genre I chose is practically flawless when it comes to sending
a message about emotion and tone. Which are two things I hope my history is full of.
My literacy Narrative was made to show my growth as a writer. I started off as a writer
who was very inexperienced, and didn’t have much hope for his career as a writer. Because of
my father, and the fact that I condemned writing to be a subject that is based off of my teachers
opinions I grew into a strictly formula based writer, and not a good one at that. After joining
theatre and writing my own plays, I started to see how writing can have a creative element as
well. Recently I have been doing much more formal writings, and my work shows my past. I can
stick to a flow of logic, but I still retain my unique tone in my writing. My current day writing
was shaped by my many literacy sponsors. I can only hope my future will be full of more happy
small narratives
Comment [PL25]: Poor awkward att
conclusion. Doesn’t really count
Comment [PL26]: This is my NEW an
IMPROVED conclusion. It is better than m
conclusion because it exists.