Decorum in Decorum in NegotiationsNegotiations

Look and Sound Your BestLook and Sound Your Best

IntroductionIntroduction

CommunicationCommunication– ListeningListening– SpeakingSpeaking– QuestioningQuestioning– Body LanguageBody Language

EtiquetteEtiquette– ClothingClothing– GiftsGifts– MealsMeals– Social PolitenessSocial Politeness

ListeningListening

Barriers to ListeningBarriers to Listening– Psychological BarriersPsychological Barriers– Physical BarriersPhysical Barriers– Environmental BarriersEnvironmental Barriers– Expectation BarriersExpectation Barriers

Active ListeningActive Listening– Not competitiveNot competitive– InteractiveInteractive

SpeakingSpeaking

Negotiation LanguageNegotiation Language– ““You” PrincipleYou” Principle– KISS PrincipleKISS Principle

CautionsCautions– Never use provocative termsNever use provocative terms– Never personalize differencesNever personalize differences– Never express unrelated opinionsNever express unrelated opinions– Never make negative comments about othersNever make negative comments about others– Never lose your temperNever lose your temper

Questioning MethodQuestioning Method Please feel free to interrupt me at any time.Please feel free to interrupt me at any time. Please stop me if you have questions.Please stop me if you have questions. Don’t hesitate to ask if something is not clear.Don’t hesitate to ask if something is not clear. We want to know what you are thinking.We want to know what you are thinking. If you need clarification, ask away.If you need clarification, ask away. What questions do you have?What questions do you have? Does that answer your question?Does that answer your question? Was that clear?Was that clear? Did I leave anything out?Did I leave anything out?

AskingAsking If it is a If it is a generalgeneral question you might ask: question you might ask:

– Could you tell me something about … Could you tell me something about … – I’d like to know more about …I’d like to know more about …– What’s the story on … (informal)What’s the story on … (informal)

If it is a question about If it is a question about detailsdetails you might ask: you might ask:– What exactly do you mean by … ?What exactly do you mean by … ?– Could you be more specific about … ?Could you be more specific about … ?– Can you explain more about … ?Can you explain more about … ?– How does (XXX) work exactly?How does (XXX) work exactly?

If it is used to indicate understanding: If it is used to indicate understanding: – So, you are saying …So, you are saying …– If I understand you correctly, you are saying …If I understand you correctly, you are saying …– Am I right in thinking that your plan is to … ?Am I right in thinking that your plan is to … ?– What you are saying is …What you are saying is …

RespondingResponding

If the question given to you indicates some If the question given to you indicates some sort of confusion:sort of confusion:– I’m sorry I didn’t make myself clear.I’m sorry I didn’t make myself clear.– I’m sorry. What I meant to say was …I’m sorry. What I meant to say was …– Thanks for that question. I should have said …Thanks for that question. I should have said …

If you don’t want to answer every question If you don’t want to answer every question directly and completely:directly and completely:– I really can’t speak to that.I really can’t speak to that.– I’d rather not answer that question right now.I’d rather not answer that question right now.– I’m sorry it is against company policy to share I’m sorry it is against company policy to share

that information.that information.

PostponingPostponing

Can I deal with that later?Can I deal with that later? I was just coming to that.I was just coming to that. That is coming up in a moment.That is coming up in a moment. Could I just finish this, first? Then I’ll Could I just finish this, first? Then I’ll

get right to your question.get right to your question.

Body LanguageBody LanguagePositive AttitudesPositive Attitudes Key IndicatorsKey Indicators

ConfidenceConfidencehands in pockets with thumbs outhands in pockets with thumbs outhands on lapel of the coathands on lapel of the coatgood body posture (square shoulders and a straight good body posture (square shoulders and a straight back)back)hands on hipshands on hips

InterestInteresttilted head toward the speakertilted head toward the speakersitting on the edge of the chairsitting on the edge of the chairupper body leaning forward in the chairupper body leaning forward in the chaireyes focused on the speaker eyes focused on the speaker

Careful Careful EvaluationEvaluation

looking out looking out overover eyeglasses eyeglasseschin cupped between thumb and fingerschin cupped between thumb and fingersputting hands to the bridge of the noseputting hands to the bridge of the nosestroking the chinstroking the chin

EagernessEagernessrubbing hands togetherrubbing hands togethersmiling excessivelysmiling excessivelyfrequent nodding of the headfrequent nodding of the head

Body LanguageBody LanguageNegative AttitudesNegative Attitudes Key IndicatorsKey Indicators

DeceptionDeceptionofrequent eye blinkingfrequent eye blinkingohand covering the mouth while speakinghand covering the mouth while speakingofrequent coughingfrequent coughingolooking away while speakinglooking away while speakingoquick sideways glancesquick sideways glances

DefensivenessDefensivenessoarms folded on the chestarms folded on the chestocrossed legscrossed legsopointing an index finger at another personpointing an index finger at another person

InsecurityInsecurityohands completely in the pocketshands completely in the pocketsoconstant fidgetingconstant fidgetingochewing on a pencilchewing on a pencilofrequent coughingfrequent coughingobiting fingernails biting fingernails ohand wringinghand wringing

FrustrationFrustrationoa pronounced tightness of the jawa pronounced tightness of the jaworubbing of the back of the neckrubbing of the back of the neckodrawing of the eyebrows togetherdrawing of the eyebrows togetheroleaning back in the chairleaning back in the chair

BoredomBoredomoeyes not focused on the speaker or looking elsewhereeyes not focused on the speaker or looking elsewhereohead in handshead in handsosloppy or informal body posturesloppy or informal body postureopreoccupation with something else (e.g. spinning a pen)preoccupation with something else (e.g. spinning a pen)

EtiquetteEtiquette

– ClothingClothing– GiftsGifts– MealsMeals– Social PolitenessSocial Politeness

ClothingClothing

Simple but professionalSimple but professional Negotiation not fashion showNegotiation not fashion show Suitably formalSuitably formal

GiftsGifts

Low costLow cost Culturally relevantCulturally relevant

MealsMeals

Allow Westerners to use chopsticksAllow Westerners to use chopsticks Be careful of dietary restrictionsBe careful of dietary restrictions Do not insist on drinking alcoholDo not insist on drinking alcohol

Social PolitenessSocial Politeness

IntroductionsIntroductions Forms of AddressForms of Address Business CardsBusiness Cards

ConclusionConclusion

Negotiation can be a difficult process. Negotiation can be a difficult process. Both sides want to achieve their own Both sides want to achieve their own goals. Through proper decorum and goals. Through proper decorum and planning, the negotiation can get off to planning, the negotiation can get off to a good start in which both parties feel a good start in which both parties feel at ease and they can understand each at ease and they can understand each other well. A good preparation should other well. A good preparation should lead through the various phases of the lead through the various phases of the negotiation to a good conclusion. negotiation to a good conclusion.

BibliographyBibliography

““ Better Results with Active Better Results with Active Listening” from http://www.my-Listening” from http://www.my-skills.co.uk/skills.co.uk/

Hindle, Tim Hindle, Tim Negotiating SkillsNegotiating Skills, , (London: Dorling Kindersley, 1998).(London: Dorling Kindersley, 1998).