by Lindsey RuppThe chronicle

Tuesday is decision day for the monthly salaried employees offered an early retirement incentive.

The University mailed individ-ualized packages in mid-october to 198 employees who meet the rule of 75 and were identified to central administrators by their department leaders as qualified for the package.

As of Sunday, about 60 employ-ees had decided to retire early, executive Vice President Tallman Trask wrote in an e-mail. The re-tirees will save Duke “north of $5 million,” he said. Trask explained that it is difficult to estimate pre-cisely how much the new retirees could save the University until de-

cisions are final. The monthly incentive has

been offered to people with a wide range of salaries. The aver-age salary is just under $70,000, Trask said, but including ben-efits and other costs the aver-age amount each person could save the University is closer to $100,000.

The early retirement of 295 bi-weekly employees this sum-mer reduced Duke’s expenses by about $15 to $20 million, Trask said in September.

employees who accept the package will receive retiree health benefits, accrued vaca-tion time up to 40 days and two week’s salary for every year they have worked at Duke, up

to 26 years. Although the deadline for ac-

cepting the package is Dec. 8 at 5 p.m., employees will have until Dec. 15 to change their minds.

Board of Trustees chair and Democratic state Sen. Dan Blue, law ’73, said the latest round of retirements will “help tremen-dously” as the University tries to eliminate $70 million from its operating budget this year.

“You’ve got to keep the em-ployees in mind as you do these things,” Blue said. “it’s an effort to be fair to the employees and give them an opportunity that they would not have otherwise gotten and at the same time ad-dress the financial questions in the University.”

Blue Devils ride out StormTrustees hear plans for China

by Emmeline ZhaoThe chronicle

The Board of Trustees met this weekend to hear updates on the University’s financ-es and plans in china.

Board members approved continuing discussions with university and municipal partners in Shanghai and Kunshan, china to build a city-funded Duke presence in Kunshan. in its first phase, the initiative would require 200 acres and newly con-structed facilities—funded by the Kunshan government—to house programs for the Fuqua School of Business.

Finalized plans will be announced in early 2010, said Trustees chair and Demo-cratic state Sen. Dan Blue, law ’73.

“The continuing discussions in china fit in perfectly with projected international ac-tivities,” Blue said. “our partners in china are being consulted so it’s a work in progress.”

Under phase one of the china propos-al, the Kunshan government would offer at least a 20-year lease and five years of utili-ties free of charge, according to a presenta-melissa yeo/The ChroniCle

Junior Nolan Smith and Duke rebounded from a loss to Wisconsin in the ACC/Big 10 Challenge with a 80-71 victory over St. John’s at Cameron Indoor Stadium Saturday as the Blue Devils improved to 7-1.

by Dan AhrensThe chronicle

Before Saturday’s contest against St. John’s, head coach Mike Krzyzewski stopped on his way from the locker room to the bench and waved his arms, yelling at fans on both sides of the court and imploring them to get louder. This rare show of pregame emotion brought the fans in cameron indoor Stadium to their feet and charged the atmosphere in the build-ing to a level it hasn’t reached all season.

The no. 6 Blue Devils (7-1) responded, riding the momentum of two lethal runs and inspired play inside to an 80-71 win over the visiting red Storm (6-1).

“To me this is one of the biggest games we’ve played in a couple of years,” Krzyze-wski said. “i thought maybe they’d see in my face, ‘hey, he’s pretty concerned today.’”

early on, Krzyzewski had reason to wor-ry. St. John’s boasts one of the most athletic teams Duke is likely to see this season, and as play started the red Storm quieted the rabid Duke crowd with six straight points to open the game.

Then, with 17:25 left in the first half, seniors lance Thomas and Brian Zoubek subbed in and completely altered the pace of play. immediately, Zoubek grabbed a de-fensive rebound and scored on the other end. on Duke’s next possession Thomas knocked down an 18-foot jumper, showing

See st. john’s on PAge 10

80 DUKE 71ST. JOHN’S

About 60 monthly employees commit to early retirement

Departments in Trinity see 10% cuts

by Zachary TracerThe chronicle

As the economic downturn forces the University to become “a smaller Duke,” administrators have tried to shield academics.

But the size of the shortfall has meant that academic depart-ments have cut back—and more cuts may be coming.

every department in the Trin-ity college of Arts & Sciences has reduced its budget by 10 percent this Fall, george Mclendon, dean of the faculty of Arts & Sciences, confirmed.

This is the second cut academic departments in Trinity have made as the University works to reduce its spending—$2.12 billion last year—by $125 million over three

years. in the Spring, the depart-ments cut 5 percent of non-staff spending.

“You know, the truth is that the University like everybody else in the world has to live within its means, and the art of creativity is figuring out how to do everything that’s important with whatever re-sources you have available to you,” said President richard Brodhead.

Department chairs said they were able to cut their budgets without af-fecting the student experience. Fac-ulty and administrative retirements helped some departments balance their budgets and some have cut expenses such as faculty lunches, travel and printing costs.

See budget on PAge 15

See trustees on PAge 14

Financial aid faces challenges in recession

The ChronicleThe independenT daily aT duke universiTy

Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 one HUndred and FIFTH year, IssUe 72www.DUKEcHrONiclE.cOm

Look inside for a healthy dose of Sudoku and crosswords, EXAm BrEAK

Duke falls to Tennessee in NCAA tournament, Page 9

ONTHErEcOrD“I don’t think that’s something neither [Vice President for

Student Affairs Larry Moneta] nor I would share with you.” —Dean Sue Wasiolek on the Student Pharmacy’s deficit. See story page 3

2 | Monday, deCeMber 7, 2009 The ChroniCle

worldandnationKaBUl — an estimated $10 million a

day is smuggled out of afghanistan, most of it through Kabul international airport, rather than through secret routes over the mountains or across the desert, the country’s minister of finance said sunday.

The amount of corruption, by public officials and officials of private compa-nies, makes Finance minister omar Zakh-ilwal embarrassed to acknowledge while traveling that he is an afghan, he says.

“Corruption is a stronger threat than

terrorism for afghanistan,” said Zakh-ilwal, who was appointed in February and is the top financial adviser to Presi-dent hamid Karzai. “it is a cancer, a dis-ease. it has destroyed the reputation of afghanistan.”

The $10 million figure comes from a 19-day U.s. study that estimated $190 million left the airport undetected dur-ing that period, said Zakhilwal as well as U.s. officials. no similar study was done for the international airport at Kandahar.

MONDAYA Day Without Art:

World AIDS Day exhibit mary lou Williams Center, all day

The MLWC will host its annual obser-vance of World AIDS Day. Information

about AIDS and activism is available.

WashinGTon, D.C. — as the senate health care debate stretched through the weekend, President Barack obama made plans to visit Capitol hill on sunday to meet with Democratic lawmakers at a rare weekend caucus gathering.

The move comes as Democratic lead-ers are pushing the senate to complete work on its bill before Christmas, a dead-line seen as critical if Congress is to send the president health care legislation by the end of January.

a month ago, obama traveled to the Capitol to rally house Democrats just before they voted to pass their version of the overhaul, which the president has made a cornerstone of his domestic agenda.

DARPA studies Internet’s problem-solving capacity

on saturday, the Defense advance re-search Projects agency set out to learn how quickly people could use online social net-works to solve a problem of national scope.

The answer: eight hours and 56 min-utes, at least when the problem involves $40,000 and a bunch of red balloons.

in DarPa’s network Challenge, tied to the 40th anniversary of the internet, the Department of Defense’s research arm placed 10 weather balloons in public places around the country. The first team to locate and submit the balloons’ cor-rect geographic coordinates would get the cash prize. ready, set, Twitter.

more than 4,000 teams participated. more than a few interesting things were revealed about the human psyche.

ToDay:

5031 TUesDay:

5234

$10 million is smuggled out of Afghanistan daily

Obama to visit Capitol Hill for Senate health care bill

sUDarsan raGhavan/The WashinGTon PosT

Gynecologist Arwa Elrabee talks on the phone while sitting next to Rihab al-Askari, a 17-year-old women holding her 1-year-old son Haitham. Rihab was a child bride who was married at age 13.

TUESDAY FRIDAYTHURSDAYWEDNESDAYTuesday Night Dinner

Falcone-arena house 402 n. Buchan-an Boulevard, 6:30 - 7: 30 p..m.

Come for a meal specially prepared by some chef-students. You are invited to also cook and help provide hospitality.

Opera: More than Just Singing Stravinsky’s Nightingale

Franklin Center 240, 7 - 9: 30 p.m. Join us for a special “studybreak” screen-ing of an animated adaptation of the opera by filmmaker Christian Chaudet.

School’s Out WorkOutWilson Gym, 6:45 - 7: 45 p..m.

Make your health a priority this holi-day season. The cost is $20 for all FIVE session, or $5 to drop in.This class is for

Wilson/Brodie members only.

Nutcracker & Broadway Holidayreynolds Theater, 7:30 - 10 p.m.

Barriskill Dance Theatre presents the Nutcracker & Broadway Holiday with special guest artists from the Carolina

Ballet. Tickets are $15.

This week at Duke . . . .

The ChroniCle Monday, deCeMber 7, 2009 | 3

Questions remain unanswered in student pharmacy’s closing

Williams to head non-profit biomedical research center

CoUrTney DoUGlas/ChroniCle File PhoTo

The closing of the Student Health pharmacy, scheduled for Dec. 18, leaves many unanswered questions. Officials said the pharmacy has been running on a significant deficit and talks of its shutdown began last summer.

by Jinny Cho and Rachna ReddyThe chronicle

The transfer of responsibilities from the Student health pharmacy to the out-patient Pharmacy will be complete before the new year.

But some specific reasons behind the de-cision to close the Stu-dent health pharmacy, announced nov. 10, re-

main undisclosed.“it really became impossible to justify

keeping the pharmacy open because of the significant loss of money,” said Sue Wasiolek, dean of students and assis-tant vice president for student affairs. “i know that the losses really became sig-nificant last year—by last year, i mean Spring semester,”

She declined to comment, however, on the size of the losses.

See pharmacy on PAge 5

by Julia LoveThe chronicle

Dr. Sanders Williams, senior adviser for international strategy, will leave Duke in March for the gladstone institutes, just as the international outposts he helped plan transition from blueprints to reality.

Williams, Medicine ’74, who is also Duke Medicine’s senior vice chancellor for academ-ic affairs, will serve as president of the non-profit biomedical re-search center affiliated with the University of california, San Francis-co. The center special-

izes in research on heart disease, brain disease and deadly viruses.

With two senior administrative posi-tions, Williams divides his attention be-tween educational, research, clinical and administrative functions at Duke. lead-ing the gladstone institutes will give him the chance to return to what he calls his first love: biomedical research.

“i’m ready for a tighter focus on sci-ence,” he said. “it will be a change for me to be more engaged in research on a day-to-day basis.”

Williams said he was not looking for a new job when he was approached about the position over the summer, but he quickly re-alized he was ready to take on such a role.

“i think most senior administrators reach a point in their career where they would like to be president,” he said. “i’ve loved my time here at Duke. This is my chance to be the top person at a place of real excellence.... it’s much smaller than a university research enterprise but still large enough to do important work.”

Provost Peter lange said Williams’ de-parture will be a loss for the University.

“he discussed the possibility [of leav-ing] with me well before he accepted,” lange said. “i gave him the advice that i absolutely hoped that he wouldn’t take the job, but that he was at a point in his career when he needed to decide wheth-er he would take that step or not.”

Senior wrestler arrested for DWI

by Samantha BrooksThe chronicle

Konrad Dudziak, a senior on the wres-tling team, was arrest-ed on campus Friday night for driving while impaired, unsafe mo-tion and possession of a weapon on an educa-tional property.

Assistant chief glo-ria graham of the Duke University Police De-partment said the in-

cident occurred when DUPD was called for noise complaints after which Dudziak

fled the scene in a car.“We got a call that a number of indi-

viduals were being loud and drinking and perhaps intoxicated and that there might have been some indecent exposure,” gra-ham said.

As of Sunday afternoon, Dudziak had been suspended indefinitely from the wrestling team, pending results of legal and Student Affairs protocol, said Assis-tant Sports information Director Mer-edith rieder.

According to the DUPD police brief, Dudziak was pulled over behind the So-

See williams on PAge 6

See dwi on PAge 13

Sanders Williams

Konrad Dudziak

Sue Wasiolek

4 | Monday, deCeMber 7, 2009 The ChroniCle

by Caroline FairchildThe chronicle

Perched in an east campus tree late at night, Ben swung and hooted like a monkey, tell-ing every girl who walked by how beautiful she was. it was one of Ben’s first times drinking, and he succeeded in getting drunk.

The freshman was not the only one over his head during orientation week. With AceS, food points and dorm politics, freshmen already have plenty to adjust to. But many like Ben are also experimenting with alco-hol for the first time.

“The first week here was crazy,” said lauren, a freshman who, like Ben, declined to have her real name printed for legal purposes. “everyone went out every night, and i know there were a lot of kids who hadn’t drank before and had a lot of problems with it. They found out the hard way that they prob-ably shouldn’t have drank as

much as they did.”According to the office of

Student conduct’s 2008-09 Alcohol Statistics Summary, 63 percent of alcohol-related medical calls to Duke University Police Department and emer-gency Medical Services involved freshmen last year. Sue Wasi-olek, dean of students and assis-tant vice president for student affairs, thinks there is a simple explanation.

“Many [freshmen] have not had experience [with alcohol] before they get here, and that contributes to their higher like-lihood to get in trouble,” Wasi-olek said.

Those students must grapple with tough questions when they arrive on campus.

“it’s weird coming into it be-cause you A) want to look like you have been there, but B) you don’t know how to act like you’ve been there,” said Jake, a sophomore fraternity mem-

ber who also declined to have his real name printed. “Do you drink a lot to show how much you can drink? Do you avoid getting beyond drunk?”

Jake added that he did not drink until he arrived on cam-pus.

Duke students chose not to drink in high school for a vari-ety of reasons. Some students were worried about getting caught, while others thought it would be a distraction.

“in high school, my friends drank, but i never did because i was focused on getting into a good college,” said junior Jenni Brandon.

Yet many students switch from designated drivers to Shooters ii regulars when they come to Duke. Tom Szigethy, as-sociate dean and director of the Substance Abuse Prevention and health Promotion center,

Global focus helps Dukies win notable scholarships

by Paul HorakThe chronicle

Andy cunningham’s call to ac-tion came three years ago when a Kenyan girl slipped a note un-der his door: “Andrew—the male teachers cane me unconditionally, the boys take my privates as their toys—get us out of this hell!”

Since then, cunningham, Trin-ity ’08, has returned to Kenya as the executive director of the Women’s institute of Secondary education and research, an educational non-governmental organization that he helped start while at Duke. The goal of WiSer is to provide better secondary education conditions to young girls in Muhuru Bay, Ke-nya. next year, he will study at the University of oxford on a Marshall Scholarship, his reward for out-standing service and leadership.

“The note made me realize that each one of us holds the potential to make a huge impact in a short period of time, and that there was no need to wait for tomorrow, but to begin that day. Three years later, here i am,” cunningham wrote in an e-mail.

The Marshall Scholarship is giv-en out annually to no more than 40 students from the United States. it funds at least two years of graduate study in any field at any university in the United Kingdom.

“Andy was a natural to win the Marshall and Duke is very proud of his achievement. he and another student—both total strangers—came into my office some years back and gave a dazzling presen-tation on their work in Kenya, the original WiSer. We’ve kept in close touch since then,” President rich-ard Brodhead wrote in an e-mail.

cunningham said he wants to follow in the footsteps of former UniceF executive Director James grant, who helped to change the lives of millions of children around the world with his education and health initiatives.

“having had the opportunity to work with such an incredible team with WiSer, i want to learn more op-portunities to make a model of self-sustainable schools that equip and empower the next generation of lead-ers in our global village,” he said.

in addition to cunningham’s

Marshall Scholarship, 13 other Duke graduates will travel all over the globe to teach and do research as part of the Fulbright Program.

Karin Shapiro, a Fulbright fel-low and Fulbright adviser for the office of Undergraduate Scholars and Fellows, said the high number of winners reflects Duke’s commit-ments to interdisciplinarity, inter-national programs like Dukeen-gage and Study Abroad.

Shapiro added that in her sec-ond year as an adviser, she was sur-prised by the breadth of the win-ners’ interests and the countries they focus their research on, which range from Brazil to cambodia.

lindsay Bayham, Trinity ’08, is a Fulbright scholar in ghana. She is working with a small ngo that has a youth migration program. her re-search will help design an online in-formation portal for people around the world who are interested in traveling abroad. She was attracted to the award because it “extends be-yond a research focus to emphasize deep engagement with people and institutions in your host country,” Bayham wrote in an e-mail.

in the future, Bayham would like to continue to combine research and advocacy in the areas of immi-gration and labor policy, migrants’ and human rights and open access to information, she added.

Duke has produced 19 Marshall and 39 rhodes Scholars in its histo-ry. This year, however, no Duke stu-dent was selected to study at oxford as a rhodes scholar, but the number of competitive applicants for gradu-ate academic scholarships is increas-ing, Melissa Malouf, director of the office of Undergraduate Scholars and Fellows, wrote in an e-mail.

There has been a significant in-crease in the number of applicants for the Fulbright—55 students ap-plied this year compared to 37 last year, Shapiro said. This indicates that there will be more winners in the future, she added.

“i’m not at all surprised that Duke has so many winners,” Brod-head said. “For a Fulbright you have to be smart, curious about the world and inventive about how you can en-gage cultures other than our own. That sounds like Duke to me.”

PhoTo illUsTraTion/ChroniCle File PhoTo

The Office of Student Conduct’s 2008-09 Alcohol Statistics Summary indicate that freshmen are involved in 63 percent of alcohol-related DUPD and EMS calls. Some freshmen who did not drink in high school said they began drinking as freshmen.

With first semester at Duke comes first drinks for some

See drinking on PAge 14

SPRING CLASSES BEGINNING IN JANUARY

• A History of Race in Durham• Beginning Bagpipe• West African Drumming• Irish and Scottish Music• Traditional Country Music• What’s My Genre?• Finishing Your Novel

• Parent Coaching• Islam 101• Jewish Geneaology• Home Design• The Successful Entrepreneur• Grantsmanship• AND DOZENS MORE!

For more info or to register, visit www.learnmore.duke.edu/weekend

or call 684-6259.

The ChroniCle Monday, deCeMber 7, 2009 | 5

Prof implements innovative teaching techniquesby Mona Ascha

The chronicle

When it comes to teaching, David needham avoids convention.

The mechanical engineering professor has been im-plementing his own original teaching method to his Focus Program seminar “Mapping engineering into Biology.”

“The professor takes on a different role and becomes a facilitator of learn-ing,” needham said. “he is the guide by the side.”

needham’s method—eDU-K peda-gogy—is based on reverse engineering and rearranges the learning process. Students do homework in class and

listen to class lectures at home. eDU-K pedagogy is an acronym that incorporates experimenting, exploring, Discovery and Uncovery of fundamental principles, leading to new Knowledge for the student, needham said. Students ask questions and research class topics independently.

The students use reverse engineering to explore the designs of various human systems and understand the development of diseases.

“Why teach them what exists when with guidance they can experiment and discover it for themselves?” needham said.

Freshman Sam Xi who is enrolled in needham’s seminar wrote in an e-mail that, although the open-endedness of needham’s teaching methods was some-times frustrating due to the wealth of information available, the unique methods helped him understand the main concepts he was learning.

Freshman Siddharth Kandan, another student of

needham’s, wrote in an e-mail that he believes he will remember his findings from class research better than if he studied the information for a test.

“he really wants us to find our own answers, rather than ask for them from him,” Xi said. “The class be-comes more interesting when not everyone is learning the same concepts.”

needham has met with Dr. edward Buckley, vice dean for medical education at the School of Medicine and colleen grochowski, associate dean for curricular affairs at the medical school, to discuss incorporating his method into the school’s first-year curriculum. Sev-eral weeks ago, Jennifer carbrey, assistant professor of cell biology at the medical school, observed one of needham’s classes.

“What stood out to me while observing needham’s class was the freedom the students had to explore the

aspects of the brain that interested them the most,” carbrey wrote in an e-mail. “needham did an excellent job of facilitating their learning and allowing them to make their own discoveries.”

carbery added that she suspects needham’s stu-dents are more likely to retain information longer and have a deeper understanding of the material compared to students taught through other teaching methods. other professors, however, are still examining the use of needham’s method in the medical school, as first-year curriculum is quite compact, she said.

Buckley wrote in an email that he hopes needham’s teaching techniques will eventually become part of the medical school’s curriculum.

“i have encouraged and facilitated interactions be-tween David and the medical school faculty,” he said. “Duke is very lucky to have his talents.”

“i don’t think that’s something neither [Vice Pres-ident for Student Affairs larry Moneta] nor i would share with you,” she said.

The Student health pharmacy, which is self-funded and not financed by the student health fee, has been operating at a deficit since 2005, said Dr. Bill Purdy, executive director of Student health.

he said the Student health pharmacy successfully cut losses in half several years ago by reducing the number of drugs it carried.

While in deficit, the Student health pharmacy oper-ated using its reserves, Purdy added, declining to com-ment on the magnitude of the deficit.

Wasiolek said she became aware of the possibility of closing the Student health pharmacy during the sum-mer, but was not involved in earlier discussions. She added that Moneta was involved in those conversations, but she did not identify other administrators involved. Moneta, who is on sabbatical in croatia, could not be reached for comment.

When the Student health pharmacy closes Dec. 18, student prescriptions will be automatically transferred to the outpatient Pharmacy located in the Duke hos-pital South clinic two floors above the Student health center.

outpatient Pharmacy Manager Jim Stefanadis de-ferred all questions regarding finances and the transi-tion to chief Pharmacy officer Paul Bush.

Bush canceled a scheduled interview and subse-quently could not be reached for comment.

Stefanadis wrote in an e-mail that according to the hospital media policy—sent out in an e-mail nov. 20—all requests for information must be directed to Duke Medicine news and communications to ensure that appropriate protocols are followed.

Doug Stokke, assistant vice president of communica-tions for the Duke University health System, referred questions regarding the pharmacy transition to Bush.

PHARMACY from page 3

David Needham

“Why teach them what exists when with guidance they can experiment

and discover it for themselves?” — David needham,

professor of mechanical engineering

25%Discount offer runs December 7 through December 21

duke employee holiday discount for shows in spring 2010

$5 duke student ticketsmiguel zenon · 2/11

for tickets & info919-684-4444 dukeperformances.org

Duke Performances in durham, at duke, the modern comes home.

JAZZ

luciana Souza feat. cyroBaptiSta & romero luBamBoSaturday, January 23, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

miguel zenon Esta PlEna SeptetThursday, February 11, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

ravi coltrane QuartetSaturday, February 13, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

DANCE

alonzo King LINES BalletFriday & Saturday, January 29 & 30, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

SPECIAL PROJECTS

Dean & Britta - 13 Most BEautiful... Thursday, February 18, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

KronoS Quartet Saturday, April 10, 8 pm, Page Auditorium

AMERICANA

punch BrotherS feat. chriS thile Friday, February 19, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

loS loBoS + leo KottKe Thursday, March 25, 8 pm, Page Auditorium

roSanne caSh + marK o’connor Thursday, April 15, 8 pm, Page Auditorium

THEATER

farBer founDary theater - Molora(aDapteD from the orEstEia trilogy)Friday & Saturday, March 19 & 20, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

CLASSICAL

anton Kuerti, pianoFriday, January 22, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

orpheuS chamBer orcheStraSaturday, January 30, 8 pm, Page Auditorium

peter SerKin, pianoFriday, February 5, 8 pm, Reynolds Theater

acaDemy of St. martin in the fielDSFriday, April 16, 8 pm, Page Auditorium

6 | Monday, deCeMber 7, 2009 The ChroniCle

lange said he and President richard Brodhead will look both internally and ex-ternally to fill Williams’ two posts, noting that they will not necessarily be held by the same person.

Williams began taking the lead in in-ternationalization as the founding dean of the Duke-national University of Singapore graduate Medical School, which was the University’s most complex international venture at the time of its launch in 2005. Williams said he is confident the school will soon be known as the “best of its class.”

“i felt the major roles i’ve played for Duke were all reaching a point where i could pass those duties off to a new per-son without compromising Duke’s posi-tion,” he said. “i think that organization has progressed to a point where it’s fine without me.”

Yet just last year he was appointed Duke’s first senior adviser for international strate-gy, and Williams noted that the newness of his role gave him pause before accepting the gladstone position. The Fuqua School of Business’s five-site global network—one of his primary projects—is still in the for-mative stages.

“i’d say there is some reluctance about leaving that, but this is a long term proj-ect—i would have left it at some point in any scenario,” he said. “i hope people will feel good about my contributions in global strategy even though it didn’t last for many years.”

Williams advised Fuqua Dean Blair Sheppard on how to facilitate institutional collaboration at the overseas sites and was involved in negotiations with partners for the chinese site. in the Spring, Williams and several other administrators will travel to Kunshan, china, where the University

will break ground on an educational facil-ity, providing the project has received the Board of Trustees’ oK.

nevertheless, lange said Williams’ de-parture is not ill-timed.

“The timing is actually fairly good because i’m hoping that we will have some agreements in place before he goes that his successor will work on and we won’t be on the precipice with the others,” he said.

lange added that Duke will continue to turn to Williams for his advice even after his departure, noting that he will only be a phone call or e-mail away.

Williams said it will be hard for him to leave the University, as Duke has be-come very much a family affair. he met and married his wife at the gothic Won-derland, and all of his children have at-tended the University at some point dur-ing their educational careers. Williams’ parents made a gift valued at $1 million to fund the r. Sanders (Sandy) Williams Medical Scientist Scholarship Fund in his honor.

Williams arrived at Duke for the first time in 1970 and circled back twice more to serve as a faculty member and later as an administrator. he has spent 26 of the last 40 years in Durham.

“it’s always been my practice once every 10 years to re-evaluate my career direc-tion,” he said. “i’ve been back at Duke nine years this time, and [gladstone institutes] just seemed right.”

Although he is 61, Williams noted that his career may yet include another stop at Duke.

“This in many ways is our home,” he said. “i will serve [at gladstone] for a period of time and do well for the institution, i trust. But at the time of retirement or when i de-cide to do a job other than a senior leader-ship role, i might well return to Duke.”

WIllIAMS from page 3

miChael naClerio/The ChroniCle

Students enjoy Midnight Breakfast—an annual pre-finals tradition—in the Great Hall Sunday night.

late-night snacking delight

Think Outside the Bookbag.

Service-learning courses integrate academic learning with service experiences in the community.

Duke University Service-Learning Program WITHIN THE PROGRAM IN EDUCATION

For more information, visit http://servicelearning.trinity.duke.edu or e-mail servicelearning@duke.edu

Civil Engineering CE185: Engineering Sustainable Design &

Construction

Dance DANCE 154S: Performance & Social Change

Documentary Studies DOCST 144S: Literacy through Photography DOCST 158S: Small Town USA: Local

Collaborations

Education EDUC 89S: Computer Science Education Research

Seminar EDUC 170: Economic Literacy & Civic Engagement

Engineering EGR 61: Natural Catastrophes: Rebuilding from

Ruins

Environmental Sciences and Policy ENVIRON 162: Natural Catastrophes: Rebuilding

from Ruins

PharmacologyPHARM 198/211: Research Independent Study in

Science Education

Public Policy PUBPOL 100s: Children & the Experience of

Illness PUBPOL 109: Natural Catastrophes: Rebuilding

from Ruins PUBPOL 158S: Small Town USA: Local

Collaborations PUBPOL 196S-21: Civic Engagement & Public

Policy

Sociology SOCIOL 198S-02: Sociology & Service Work

Theater Studies THEATRST 154S: Performance & Social Change

Visual Arts ARTSVIS158s: Small Town USA: Local

Collaborations

Visual Studies VISUALST 103WS: Small Town USA: Local

Collaborations

Writing WRITING 20-55: Writing Environmental Education

Seats still available in these Spring 2010 Service-Learning Courses:

mel

issa

yeo

/TH

e C

HR

oN

iCle

december 7, 2009

sportswrapthe chronicle

VOLLEYBALL: DUKE BEATEN IN TENNESSEE • WOMEN’S BASKETBALL: BLUE DEVILS EDGE TROJANS

BOUNCE BACK

8 | Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 the chronicle

by Chris CusackThe chronicle

Duke extended its dominance in cam-eron indoor Stadium Sunday afternoon, holding off a depleted Southern califor-nia squad for its 19th straight home win, 78-72. The no. 11 Blue Devils forced 22 turnovers and outscored the Trojans 42-8 in the paint, but barely avoided an upset after a first half of uncharacteristically sloppy play and Southern california’s hot three-point shooting.

The Blue Devils (7-1) maintained their undefeated all-time record against the Trojans, yet their most recent meetings

have been tightly contested. Sun-day’s game was the second time in two years that Duke has

overcome a double-digit point deficit to beat Southern california (4-4).

The Trojans, despite only having eight available players, gained leverage early by outhustling the Blue Devils up and down the floor. Southern califor-nia jumped out to an early 14-5 lead be-hind two 3-pointers from Ashley corral, and continued adding to the advantage with quick transition offense and out-side shooting. corral shot 5-of-7 from beyond the arc in the opening period, and finished the day with a team-high 26 points and nine assists.

“Ashley has done a lot for us. She’s actu-ally done more than she’s supposed to be doing,” Trojan head coach Michael cooper said. “She’s almost like our Magic Johnson; she does a little bit of everything.”

To make matters worse, Duke found it-self inept from outside the paint, shooting at a 33.3 percent clip for the half. Despite having a significant size advantage inside, missed layups cost the Blue Devils chances to cut the lead. however, gritty drives by Jasmine Thomas and efficient post play by Joy cheek kept Southern california from pulling away. Although the team trailed by as many as 14 points during the half, Duke managed to enter halftime down only eight, 41-33.

“i think Joy and her leadership was tre-mendous,” Blue Devil head coach Joanne P. Mccallie said. “She hit some huge shots for us and kept us talking out there and that’s very, very important.”

The second half began in the same way as the first, with the Trojans knocking down open jump shots while Duke missed easy layups, and the lead rose to 11. Soon after, though, the full court press that Mc-callie had been tinkering with throughout the game finally began to pay off. Karima christmas woke up her Blue Devil team-mates by earning three steals and four points in just over a minute of play to cut the lead to single digits.

“She [christmas] was mighty,” Mccallie said. “She was very physical and she took it in hard. The touch she has is just fun to watch.”

More 3-point misses from Southern cal-ifornia helped Duke claw closer and take the lead with nine minutes remaining after a three from Thomas.

The Trojans’ heather oliver’s consec-utive three-pointers made that advantage short-lived, but Duke continued to work the ball inside. Four different Blue Dev-ils scored in the following three minutes, highlighted by the tough play of fresh-man Allison Vernerey, who recorded her first career double-double with 10 points and 12 rebounds.

“She’s a pistol,” said Mccallie. “She’s very, very aggressive and she seems to get more aggressive sort of on a daily basis.”

Thomas had six points over the final three minutes of the game to keep Duke on top, as corral missed several despera-tion 3-point attempts in the final minute. Thomas quietly racked up a game-high 28 points despite 8-of-20 shooting by going 10-for-10 on free throw attempts, most of which came in crunch time.

Despite her team’s sloppy play early, cheek was very pleased with the Blue Dev-ils’ performance.

“We talked about will, and i knew that game would take a lot of will when we were down by 14,” cheek said. “it was a gut-checking game and i think we came through.”

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

Duke escapes hot-shooting Trojans again

DUKE 78

USC 72

julius joNes/THe CHRoNiCle

Jasmine Thomas had another big offensive outing for the Blue Devils, scoring 28 points in Duke’s 78-72 win.

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the chronicle Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 | 9

by Gabe StarostaThe chronicle

A season during which Duke defeated nearly every team it should have and lost to only the best teams in the country came to an unsatisfying conclusion. The Blue Devils were beaten by no. 24 Tennessee 3-1 in the first round of the ncAA tourna-ment Friday at Thompson-Boling Arena in Knoxville, Tenn.

Duke (27-6) struggled early and late against a lady Vol-unteer squad buoyed by its home crowd, as Tennessee (24-7)

took the first set 25-18. The Blue Dev-ils dropped a close second before win-ning the third, only to fall behind in the final set for a decisive 25-12 loss.

The Blue Devils were undone by Tennessee middle blocker leah hinkey, who recorded 10 blocks and seven kills on the night.

hinkey’s strong net play severely limited Duke’s of-fense, and the Blue Devils hit a measly .146 against an aggressive lady Volunteer front line that registered 17.5 blocks to Duke’s nine.

“There was never any moment where we weren’t play-ing our game,” senior rachael Moss said. “But Tennes-see’s defense was very good and tight and i think they stopped us very well…. We played well but at the same time they played very well.”

The attacks the Blue Devils were able to complete successful-ly came from, as usual, Moss and junior Becci Burling, who both recorded 12 kills against the lady Volunteers. Moss and Burling ended the season as Duke’s leaders in kills, and Moss’s 13 digs also gave the senior her 14th double-double of the season.

however, the pair’s efforts were not enough to send the Blue Devils into at least the second round for the fifth straight year. The first game of the evening set the tone for the match: After trailing by as many as five points early, Duke trimmed the deficit to two at 17-15, but notched only three more points as Tennessee took the set, 25-18.

i admit that in this space, i have been pretty harsh on Duke Football.

i told you the Blue Devils had no shot against Kansas and that on the precipice of becoming bowl eligible, the odds of going to the postseason were heavily against Duke.

i always made it a point to tell it like it is, even if it meant basically saying that the Blue Devils were guaranteed to lose. So, for the last time this semester, i’m going to keep it real and tell it like it is.

if David cutcliffe can get faster defensive players, develop an of-fensive line whose average weight

is over 300 pounds and mold conner Vernon and Desmond Scott into the backyard athletes that cutcliffe always craves, Duke won’t just go bowling.

it could easily wind up in a BcS game by the time Vernon and Scott are seniors.

Preposterous? At the moment, yes, but that’s not what i’m getting at.

When you look at the successful programs of the decade—USc and Florida especially—you’ll notice those three things that i just mentioned. if you’re missing even one piece, you’re not going to win your conference.*

*Unless you play in the Big Ten.charlie Weis will attest to that. he had as close

to an nFl offense as you can get—but his lack of a defense is what ultimately cost him his job.

At this moment, Duke only has the potential of-fensive game-changers on its roster, and it’s going to require some serious recruiting scores to get the de-fensive game-changers. But who would’ve thought that just a couple of months into the job, cutcliffe would convince Sean renfree, the 10th-best quarterback

Blue Devils suffer heartbreakVOLLEyBALL Duke Football

is on the verge

StephenAllan

See allan on PAge 12

DUKE

TENN1

3

ColiN Heasley/CHRoNiCle file pHoTo

Junior Becci Burling had 12 kills against Tennessee and finished the season as the Blue Devils’ second-leading attacker with 340 kills. See volleyball on PAge 12

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10 | Monday, deceMber 7, 2009

by Andy MooreThe chronicle

Duke’s win over St. John’s Saturday afternoon was not a pretty one. 31 total fouls. A 43.1 percent shoot-ing clip for the Blue Devils. incredibly physical play

that knocked red Storm forward Justin Burrell out of the game af-ter its first minute and that sent Jon Scheyer to the floor multiple times in the second half.

Part of the reason for the beat-ings that players on both teams

took was ferocious defensive play. Duke’s big men especially, bumping down low with the athletic front-court of St. John’s, performed admirably well.

losing your last game can provide that motivation. “We didn’t play as good defensively [against Wis-

consin] as we should have,” said lance Thomas, who scored 11 points on 5-of-7 shooting along with eight rebounds. “We took that personally. [Today], we went out and tried to defend the complete opposite of how we defended [last game].”

Just like in wins over connecticut and Arizona State, it was the Blue Devils’ defense that kept them in the game. constant pressure on the ball-handler forced 13 red Storm turnovers, and head coach Mike Krzyzewski’s willingness to constantly switch from man-to-man to zone kept the opposi-tion confused.

According to nolan Smith, the defense was even responsible for the 17-point run that Duke went on early in the first half. The Blue Devils found them-selves down by one after seven minutes of play. They turned on the full-court press, though, forc-ing turnovers that led to easy baskets on the other end. Duke pulled ahead, and St. John’s never re-gained the lead.

“That long stretch started with our D,” Smith said. “We were able to get some easy shots and that helped a lot. They’re a very tough team to beat.”

Kyle Singler led all players with four steals in the contest. he also played superb defense on red Storm leading scorer D.J. Kennedy. Matched up with him for much of the game, Singler—who didn’t slack off of-fensively either, finishing with 17 points—completely shut down the gifted scorer. Kennedy came into the game averaging 17.7 points per game, but didn’t score once in the first half before finally finding his rhythm in the second and finishing with 18 points.

“St. John’s has eight guys who can put it on the floor,” Krzyzewski said. “As a result, they test your defense. Kennedy’s one of the better players that we’ll play against all year. he’s capable of 20, 25 points in any ball game.”

Kennedy’s absence from the stat sheet during the first half allowed Duke to build a lead that it would never relinquish. Kennedy, who bragged to a group of fans before that game that he would drop 20, al-most got there in the end, but by then the Blue Dev-ils defense had made the figure meaningless.

in what has become a familiar story, Duke had trouble scoring. The 3-point shot, always one of the cornerstones of any Blue Devil team, hasn’t been falling for the perimeter players, as Smith and Scheyer are shooting a combined 36.6 per-cent from beyond the arc. Duke has had to rely on other factors, like offensive rebounding and, of course, its defense, to win games. Saturday was no different.

“i think our offense hasn’t really been clicking since the beginning of the year when we were scor-ing 90,” said Smith, who had 16 points and three as-sists. “When our offense starts clicking, our defense is still going to be there.”

Duke returns to defensive roots against Red Storm

Game Analysis

his improved range. The senior tandem left its mark all afternoon—it combined for 22 points, 15 rebounds, numerous charges drawn and several al-tered shots.

“They’ve been in a fight before,” Krzyzewski said of Thomas and Zoubek. “This game is like a big conference game. it’s a fight in early Decem-ber. i thought they did extremely well.”

Following a loss to Wisconsin in which Thom-as and Zoubek contributed no points and six rebounds, it was crucial that the Blue Devil big men get back on track.

“We didn’t approach it with the right atti-tude,” Zoubek said of Wednesday’s loss. “They did. They played a hell of a game and outworked us and that can’t happen. hopefully we’ll keep building off of that.”

on Saturday the Duke post players took a large step towards doing just that. Thanks to contributions inside, Duke stayed with St. John’s for the first eight minutes of the game.

Then the Blue Devils began to heat up.Thomas grabbed an offensive board and con-

verted a three-point play, followed by a short jumper the next time downcourt. Then nolan

Smith knocked down two consecutive 3-point-ers. Two layups by Zoubek and an alley-oop to Kyle Singler later, a 15-14 deficit had exploded into a 31-14 lead.

Duke rode the momentum of that 17-0 run to a 40-24 halftime lead.

coming out of the locker room with its back against the wall, the red Storm kept battling, and never let the deficit exceed 16.

Down 54-40 with 12 minutes left, St. John’s finally got its offense on track, and broke out on a 10-0 run of its own. leading scorer D.J. Kennedy, who was held scoreless in the first half, notched six points and two assists during this stretch, turning a potential blowout into a four-point game.

“We let up a little bit in the second half,” Zoubek said. “That can’t happen.”

After seeing his team’s lead slip from 16 points to four, Thomas stepped up and hit a 15-foot jump shot. in previous years, that would have been the very last option in a situation where Duke needed a key bucket.

“lance has been working,” Smith said. “We trust him to shoot those midrange shots and he believes in himself.”

Thomas finished 3-for-3 on jump shots for

ST. JOhN’S from page 1

iaN soileau/THe CHRoNiCle

Andre Dawkins had this dunk attempt blocked, but the ball deflected into the basket for the freshman’s only two points of the game.

iaN soileau/THe CHRoNiCle

Duke outrebounded a big and athletic St. John’s squad Saturday, 41-31. here, Lance Thomas, who finished with eight boards, battles for a rebound with the Red Storm’s Dele Coker.

the chronicle | 11

Smith knocked down two consecutive 3-point-ers. Two layups by Zoubek and an alley-oop to Kyle Singler later, a 15-14 deficit had exploded into a 31-14 lead.

Duke rode the momentum of that 17-0 run to a 40-24 halftime lead.

coming out of the locker room with its back against the wall, the red Storm kept battling, and never let the deficit exceed 16.

Down 54-40 with 12 minutes left, St. John’s finally got its offense on track, and broke out on a 10-0 run of its own. leading scorer D.J. Kennedy, who was held scoreless in the first half, notched six points and two assists during this stretch, turning a potential blowout into a four-point game.

“We let up a little bit in the second half,” Zoubek said. “That can’t happen.”

After seeing his team’s lead slip from 16 points to four, Thomas stepped up and hit a 15-foot jump shot. in previous years, that would have been the very last option in a situation where Duke needed a key bucket.

“lance has been working,” Smith said. “We trust him to shoot those midrange shots and he believes in himself.”

Thomas finished 3-for-3 on jump shots for

the day, forcing the defense to extend out and guard him. no basket was more important than the one that stopped the red Storm’s run.

Up only four, Duke summoned another big run to give itself breathing room.

This time it was Singler who did most of the damage, knocking down a 3-pointer and scoring twice in the lane as a second spurt pushed the Blue Devil advantage to 68-52.

Perhaps the most concerning trend for Duke was its inability to finish off the red Storm, de-spite having several opportunities. Up 16 with five minutes left, the Blue Devils once again let St. John’s cut into the lead, this time whittling it to six with less than a minute to go.

“i think we’re a little mentally and physically tired right now,” Krzyzewski said. “St. John’s make[s] you that way…. After they called a tim-eout or a TV timeout we didn’t execute as well, which shows me that we’re mentally tired.”

Despite the occasional letdown, the Blue Dev-ils were able to finish the job. Free throws car-ried them down the stretch and they held on for the nine-point win.

“We have a lot of development to do as a bas-ketball team,” Krzyzewski said. “But i like the fact that they step up in tough situations.”

iaN soileau/THe CHRoNiCle

Nolan Smith had a quiet day for Duke by his standards, but he still managed 16 points on 3-pointers and slashes to the basket against St. John’s.

iaN soileau/THe CHRoNiCle

Duke outrebounded a big and athletic St. John’s squad Saturday, 41-31. here, Lance Thomas, who finished with eight boards, battles for a rebound with the Red Storm’s Dele Coker.

bythenumbers• 41: Total rebounds for Duke. The Blue Dev-ils outrebounded St. John’s by 10 on the day, and they built a nine-board advantage on the offensive glass

• 50.9: Percentage the Red Storm was able to shoot in Cameron Indoor Stadium Saturday

• 16: Duke’s lead at halftime agains St. John’s. The Blue Devils’ 17-0 run took them from down one to up 16 at the break.

• 19: Fouls committed by the Red Storm. Duke was whistled for only 12 fouls, and the Blue Devils took 11 more free throws than St. John’s

• 8: Turnovers committed by the Blue Devils, compared to 13 by the visitors

• 39: Minutes played by Duke’s Kyle Singler, four days after playing all 40 minutes against Wisconsin.

12 | Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 the chronicle

prospect in the nation according to Scout.com, to come to a school that had won one game in the previous two years?

now, Duke has actually won nine games in its previous two years, so going to high school seniors and pitching the program isn’t nearly as difficult as it was before. There are definitely some poten-tial studs in the pipeline: Matt Daniels and John Drew, a sophomore and a freshman, respectively, can easily develop into great players on the defensive side of the ball.

The Blue Devils are also trying to sway the interest of four-star defensive tackle John Wat-son and linebacker Danny Spond, the ninth-ranked middle linebacker in the country according to Scout. get three or four of those top-tier recruits a class, and boom, you’re suddenly a legitimate conference contender. north carolina’s defensive recruiting is what got it back to playing in bowls, and since Duke has a better coaching staff than the Tar heels, the Blue Devils would be even better with a few big-time defensive recruits.

And then… there’s the offensive line. The most criticized (sometimes justifiably so, sometimes not) unit on the team brings in the 40th-ranked offensive lineman in the country, laken Tomlinson, next season. The most important thing about Tomlin-

son, though, is his size—he’s 6-foot-5, 285 pounds, which means with just an offseason or two of being in Duke’s strength and con-ditioning program, he can easily break 300 pounds. i would hope that this is the type of offensive lineman cutcliffe continues to recruit, because it’s really the only type that can play in a balanced offense.

But perhaps more significant than anything Duke has is on its roster is what the Acc doesn’t—a powerhouse. gone are the days when it was Florida State at the top and everyone else fighting for second place, and Virginia Tech gave up its perch as the conference’s best this season. Today’s king of the hill is georgia Tech. next year, it could be Miami… or north carolina… or even n.c. State.

The point is, you won’t have a program that reloads instead of rebuilding every year at the pinnacle. Duke’s got the bare funda-mentals you need to be a winning program—a smart, flexible head coach and a steady, mistake-free quarterback. But in order to become a championship program, it’s going to have to find a way to upgrade those three elements: defense, athletic difference-makers on offense and a better offensive line.

hey, it might be a little crazy. But i’m just keeping it real, like i always have. it just so happens this time, the reality is Duke might be a championship squad in a few years.

ALLAN from page 9

lawsoN kuRTz/CHRoNiCle file pHoTo

Quarterback Sean Renfree has all the talent he needs on offense to continue Duke’s recent improvement.

The second set was tighter all the way through, and the Blue Devils led 21-18 at one point. The Volunteers fought back to tie the score at 23, and earned the last two points to give themselves a 2-0 cushion.

“We had our opportunities and that second game we were up for a major-ity of it,” head coach Jolene nagel said. “if we could have won that game going into the third game i think things could have changed.”

A 9-1 run in the third set, keyed by Burl-ing, gave Duke a 25-17 win, yet that victory proved meaningless when Tennessee came out for the fourth set. The lady Volunteers dominated proceedings and jumped out to a massive 12-point lead, and a late attempt at a comeback by the Blue Devils fell well

short to push them out of the tournament. Duke can consider itself unlucky to have

had to play its first-round matchup essen-tially on the road. The Volunteers hosted the four-team regional even though they were not the highest-seeded of the four. That honor belonged to no. 11 Minneso-ta, which defeated louisville earlier Friday to advance to the second round.

nagel was disappointed with the loss, but praised Moss and the rest of the de-parting senior class for its performance Friday and on the season.

“each day in practice they approached the demands that were put on them, both academically and in volleyball,” nagel said of her seniors. “Their attitudes and team men-tality really influenced the culture our team and they are leaving a great legacy for us.”

Caroline Fairchild contributed reporting to this story.

VOLLEyBALL from page 9

ColiN Heasley/CHRoNiCle file pHoTo

Senior Rachael Moss recorded her 14th double-double of the year in the last match of her career.

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the chronicle Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 | 13

ciology/Psychology building where he was taken into cus-tody for driving under the influence of alcohol. During this time, the police reported to have found a large knife in the vehicle near the driver’s seat and charged Dudziak for having a weapon on campus.

“Oftentimes we’re not going to charge you if it’s just a standard knife or a kitchen knife,” Graham said. “But this was clearly a large knife, and it was in the vehicle in reach of the student.”

Graham said the officers had reasonable suspicion of intoxication and as a result conducted a field sobriety test. Dudziak was detained by DUPD and released from jail on $5,000 bail.

Dudziak, who was unavailable to comment on the in-cident, was voted Duke’s Most Outstanding Wrestler for 2008-09, became Duke’s first All-American wrestler last year and was the NCAA runner-up and ACC champion at heavyweight.

Both DWIs and weapon charges for students are un-common, Graham said.

“We don’t have many [DWIs], I’m thinking maybe a handful a year,” Graham said. “For the most part, frankly, our kids use the buses and take taxis, so it’s not one of those things we identify as one of our top 10 problems. That being said, we do know that people do make a choice to drive after they’ve been drinking, this is just one of those instances.”

Dwi from page 3

christina pena/the chronicle

Gaspard Louis’ dance group Gaspard & Dancers performs in Reynolds Theater Sunday night. Louis also currently teaches Haitian Creole at Duke.

Teaching by day, dancing by nightAbortion, public option to frame health debate

by Janet HookLOs ANGeLes TIMes

WAsHINGTON, D.C — President Barack Obama trav-eled to Capitol Hill on sunday to rally Democrats on his signature health care initiative as the senate moved closer to addressing two of the biggest landmines in the bill’s path: the terms of a new public insurance option and lim-its on federal abortion funding.

A showdown on the abortion issue is scheduled for ear-ly this week. An amendment to set stricter limits on federal funding is expected to be defeated.

As for the public option, Democratic negotiations to satisfy both liberals and moderates quickened sunday.

“Issues are being narrowed as we speak,” senate Major-ity Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said after Obama met with Democrats.

The unusual weekend session was in pursuit of Reid’s longshot goal to bring the bill to a final vote before Christ-mas. That would set the stage for crafting a final House-senate compromise after the first of the year.

The legislation would provide coverage to more than 30 million additional people over the next decade and require nearly everyone to buy insurance. Lower-income people would receive subsidies to do so.

sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., said Obama gave a forceful pitch for Democrats to close ranks and keep their eyes on the historic goal of overhauling the health care system and not become derailed by side issues.

“It’s very easy to get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the larger implications of what’s going on,” Conrad said. “This is a big deal.”

But abortion and the public option are two issues that are also big deals to many Democrats, and the party is di-vided. Agreement would speed up the debate, which be-gan a week ago.

“The minute those issues are resolved, this process will accelerate,” said sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa., who has backed stronger anti-abortion language but says he will support the legislation even if it is not changed.

The abortion amendment, expected to be offered by sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., is similar to language approved by the House. It would ban abortion coverage under the public option as well as prohibit insurers from covering abortion services for any woman who receives federal sub-sidies to buy insurance. The only exceptions would be in cases of rape, incest and to save the mother’s life.

even backers of the Nelson amendment say it is unlike-ly to prevail. A key question, however, is whether a further compromise will have to be struck to win Nelson’s support for the overall bill.

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14 | Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 the chronicle

tion on the Academic Council Web site. Duke would have control over academic programs, faculty selection and ad-missions, President Richard Brodhead said.

Budgetary progressThe University has “made significant progress” toward elim-

inating $125 million from its budget over three years and work-ing to set next year’s budget, Brodhead said. He noted that the University is on track to meet its budgetary goals.

Meeting those goals also entails reassessing the Univer-sity’s endowment spending rates, which are set at between 5.5 and 5.75 percent for the financial aid endowment and at 5 percent for the University’s general endowment.

The North Carolina General Assembly adopted the Uni-form Prudent Management of Institutional Funds Act in March, which permits the spending of endowment principle rather than just endowment earnings. Although some col-leges across the state have decided to spend the principle of their endowments, Duke has chosen not to, Blue said.

still, some of the financial aid endowments are worth less than when they were created, preventing the University from extending financial aid to international students.

“I think that realism dictates that expanding the financial aid program is something I’d like to do some day, but this isn’t the day to do it,” Brodhead said.

Duke’s commitment to need-blind admissions, however, is unaffected by the economy, even if it requires shifting money across portions of the budget to sufficiently fund the program.

“Given the economy over the last year and the impact it’s had on financial aid endowments, less money is generated from financial aid than had originally been anticipated,” Blue said. “This raises a challenge to the Board and adminis-tration to juggle things so that the financial need of students as we’ve committed to them will be met.”

Investments managed by the Duke University Manage-ment Company “have been doing significantly better” since the summer, Brodhead said. He added that statistics will be available in the end-of-year report, which will be completed in three weeks.

Duke health reformThe Board also heard presentations about the possible

effects health care reform may have on the University and on the Duke University Health system.

Vice President for Human Resources Kyle Cavanaugh and Dr. Victor Dzau, chancellor for health affairs and presi-dent and chief executive officer of DUHs, offered an analy-sis of how DUHs will respond to health care reform, de-pending on which version of the health care bill is passed by Congress, Blue said.

He added that Cavanaugh and Dzau also led discussions on how employee and medical student training and DUHs revenue may be affected by the reform. Blue said he could not recall the specific numbers regarding revenue and di-rected inquiries to Dzau.

“The analysis showed that Dr. Dzau and his people in the health system are very involved in this discussion on health care reform,” Blue said. “Not just the bottom line proposi-tion of what the cost may be to Duke, but the opportunity to deliver quality health care to more Americans... and making sure Duke plays a role in providing a platform for that.”

In other business:The preliminary interior assessment for K4—an initia-

tive to add a fourth wing to Keohane Quadrangle—has been completed. The interior layout will now be planned in detail, said steve Nowicki, vice provost and dean of under-graduate education.

Nowicki said he will consult further with members of Campus Council to draft and select a final plan so the new residence hall can open by Fall 2011.

“It’s pushing it, I can’t guarantee we can do that,” he said. “But the architect and builders say it’s realistically possible now if we move as quickly as we have been.”

The Trustees also approved a one-year Master of Manage-ment in Clinical Informatics degree that will integrate busi-ness and health information technology education. Fuqua and the Duke Center for Health Informatics will collaborate on the program.

The Trusteeship committee discussed two candidates who will fill the unexpired terms of Rev. Charles smith, Trinity ’62 and Divinity ’65, and Dr. Lewis “Rusty” Williams, Ph.D. ’77 and Medicine ’78.

The selected candidates will take their posts in July 2010 and an official statement announcing their installation will be made at the Board meeting next May, in accordance with Board policy, Blue said.

TRuSTeeS from page 1

explained that this trend represents a switch in stu-dents’ perceptions about alcohol.

Research shows that students who partied hard in high school often do not make it to college, he said. The students who stayed clean to earn admission to a top university feel like they can fi-nally let loose.

“College students adopt the attitude of, ‘Oh, I have arrived,’” he said.

Ben echoed this sentiment. He was so proud to be at Duke that he felt like celebrating. That’s how he ended up in the tree.

Freshmen who are determined to assimilate must figure out how and where to drink for the first time, often turning to their residence assis-tants, first-year advisory counselors and pre-orien-tation program leaders for guidance. Jake remem-bers how thankful he was to have his FAC present for those first sips.

“He didn’t force anything on us, and it was a good atmosphere,” he said.

Although Wasiolek said she is disappointed that student leaders are teaching freshmen to hold their liquor, she said she hopes that these groups “provide a safety net” for students.

students said it can be hard to abstain in a culture where drinking is central to the social scene. Freshmen should remember their values despite the whirlwind of the first semester, said Gary Glass, assistant director for outreach and developmental programming at Counseling and Psychological services.

“My guess is Duke students don’t require their friends to drink, but it takes some courage and au-tonomy to admit you don’t want to,” he said.

Nevertheless, many freshmen make that decision. sophomore Jenny Denton said she drinks now but did not at first.

“I’m really glad I took my time with the whole thing,” she said. “I never made a fool of myself. I’m just so glad I didn’t add alcohol to the list of new things I was trying.”

DRinkinG from page 4

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CLASSIFIEDS

A shortfallThe cuts, about $2 million in all, are in response to an

unexpected budget deficit revealed in an October finan-cial update, called the Fall Variance Report. That report showed a shortfall of about 0.7 percent in the Arts & sci-ences budget, McLendon said.

In July, after tallying the results of non-staff depart-mental cuts and cost-saving measures made centrally in Trinity, administrators predicted that the Trinity bud-get would be balanced, McLendon said. By september, Trinity had already cut its $300 million budget by about $12 million.

Those cuts led to changes in Arts & sciences admin-istrative offices, rather than in academic departments, McLendon said. He added that about one-third of the staff in Arts & sciences administration had voluntarily retired from Duke or been laid off.

He did not say how many people were fired, but noted in an e-mail that there were few layoffs because many of the employees who lost their jobs in Arts & sciences were able to find work elsewhere in the University.

But because statistical projections for annual fund do-nations and the number of faculty that would leave Duke were slightly inaccurate, more cuts were needed.

student financial aid, which makes up about 23 percent of the budget, and faculty salaries, which are about 26 per-cent of the budget, could not be cut, McLendon said.

so this time, the cuts had to be made in academic de-partments.

“We just said [to the departments], ‘Here’s what we need from you. Figure out how to do this,’” McLendon said.

The cutsThe biology department cut 10 percent, more than

$200,000 in total, through “belt tightening,” department chair Dan Kiehart said.

“I think it’s safe to say that our interaction with students hasn’t been affected by this,” he said.

Biology invited professors from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and North Carolina state Univer-sity to speak at its seminars, rather than pay for hotel and travel costs for professors from farther away.

The department also encouraged professors to print less by posting assignments for students on Blackboard.

Biology has been able to save more than $1,000 on toner alone, Kiehart said.

He said grants, such as those from the federal stimulus, have also helped the department meet its budget goals. Two or three staff members have part of their salaries paid for by grants.

The political science department was able to balance its budget in large part because two staff members retired and only one person was hired to replace them, department chair Michael Munger said.

The department also eliminated lunch at faculty meet-ings and reduced the subsidy that it gives each faculty member for photocopying, fax, phone and travel costs from $600 to $250, Munger said. The department raised a few thousand dollars in donations from faculty to purchase toner for its printers.

The cultural anthropology department saved much of the $30,000 it had to cut through the retirement of a staff member, who was then rehired to work part time, depart-ment chair Orin starn said.

“We have not had to cut, for example, any classes, or to break any commitments that we had made to advanced graduate students or visiting professors to teach in the spring,” starn said.

What’s nextMore cuts may be necessary in the coming months. sev-

eral department chairs said another 10 percent cut is being considered for the next fiscal year, which starts in June.

McLendon said Trinity will know whether more cuts are necessary in the spring because it will have a better idea of its income for the coming year and of expenses such as salaries.

One area of spending being examined is certificate pro-grams, he said.

“No decision has been made to eliminate any certifi-cates,” McLendon wrote in an e-mail. “We are looking at the cost-benefit trade-offs of all activities within the col-lege, and certificate programs have been one area of rapid growth of expenses. Thus we have to make sure that our students are best served by the available resources, and a part of that is making sure that each certificate program uses resources effectively.”

Department chairs said that with another round of cuts, academic programs will likely be affected.

“We don’t spend money frivolously, and so cutting 10 percent of our expenses means pulling our belts in, in one way or another,” Kiehart said. “so it’s hard, but at this point, it hasn’t been painful. Another round of cuts will be painful.”

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DiversionsShoe Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins

Dilbert Scott Adams

Ink Pen Phil Dunlap

Doonesbury Garry Trudeau

Sudoku Fill in the grid so that every row, every col-umn and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. (No number is repeated in any column, row or box.)

Answer to puzzle

www.sudoku.com

the chronicle semi memories:

four loko, virgin please: ............................................................. honno plates, too busy cleaning sinks: ......................... emmeline, willdaddy’s a hunter: ..................................................... sam, big lichter1, 2, 3, two is not the same -AC: ................................ austin, shuchipalmatary behaving...sort of: .....................gabe, sabreena, keller!niagara falls, YOLO: ....................................... ian, naclerio, melissaa walk in the park...in the wrong direction: .klein, doug, christinejust rice, lots of rice, please?:.......................... rachna, lrupp, tracerBarb Starbuck is taking a staycation: ....................................... Barb

Student Advertising Manager: ..............................Margaret PotterAccount Executives: ........................... Chelsea Canepa, Liza Doran

Lianna Gao, Ben MasselinkAmber Su, Mike Sullivan, Jack Taylor

Quinn Wang, Cap YoungCreative Services: ...............................Lauren Bledsoe, Danjie Fang

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Have a splendiferous Winter Break!

As any unemployed in-vestment banker will tell you (we know a few—they went to Duke!), corporate merg-ers and acquisi-tions are finally starting to heat up again.

And as the University comes under pressure to close its own budget shortfall, the following is a list of our own suggested mergers for groups here at dear old Duke.

Unless otherwise specified, all newly combined depart-ments/organizations will be relocated to the Smith Ware-house. We hear that it has lots of space and is conveniently located for students.

—The Department of Athletics and the Econom-ics Department: In light of Athletics’ recent budget

woes, we feel it would be wise to bring in the finan-cial expertise of the Eco-nomics Department. This is

only because Duke lacks, as Harrison

Barnes recently noted, an undergraduate business degree.

—The Interfraternity Council and the Women’s Center: We all know that pro-ponents of women’s issues are extremely vocal on campus, while the perspective of fra-ternities is underrepresented. Hopefully this combination will help to level the playing field. Maybe it will boost IFC’s RGAC scores, too.

—The Career Center and the English Department: Such a merger would help dispel the myth that English majors’

only post-graduate options are graduate school and be-coming professional hipsters. Did you know how useful a thorough understanding of Finnegans Wake and the Yale school of deconstruction is on Wall Street?

—The Department of Residence Life and Housing Services and the Outpost: it’s no secret that Duke students are more than happy to live in tent cities for months on end. So when RLHS inevitably mis-counts students again, there won’t be a housing shortage. Students can just camp out the entire year. The new student shanty town will be located on the Plaza. We hear that’s where good things happen.

—Krzyzewskiville and Stu-dent Health Center: Speaking of tents, the Student Health

Center would be smart to re-locate into K-ville. It’s a loca-tion people are guaranteed to actually be able to find, and there will be plenty of poten-tial patients.

—Panda Express and Bro-die Recreation Center: Brodie is a great place to burn calo-ries; Panda is a great place to fill up on them. Not only would this finally bring an eatery into Brodie (juice bar anyone?), it would also help to ensure no freshmen look like the Barbie and G.I. Joe mirrors in the lobby. But this merger might mean bump-ing up the freshman 15 by ten pounds or so.

—Chick-fil-A and the Cha-pel: This one is a no brainer. The popular fast food eatery can now be open on Sunday. At last, chicken sandwiches

and waffle fries while watch-ing the NFL.

—The Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Educa-tion, Ubuntu Living Group and Scott House: This mega-merger would hopefully re-sult in a major shift in cam-pus culture. Have you seen Ubuntu’s common room on Central? So sweet.

—Duke Conversations and the Winter Forum: This one is all talk, but we’re con-fident it can happen.

—The Multicultural Cen-ter and the International House: No need for a verbose explanation on this one. It just makes total sense. If you don’t believe us, ask Zoila.

If you haven’t already figured it out, this editorial is a joke. Have a safe and relaxing break!

commentaries18 | Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 the chronicle

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editorial

Somewhere over the rainbow

‘Tis the season to be merging...

”“ onlinecomment

Paulus is sort of like Duke’s version of Brett Favre (pre not-so-retirement fiasco).

—“lenhawk” commenting on the column “Paulus closes latest chapter.” See more at www.dukechronicle.com.

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“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more…. We must be over the rainbow!”

I’m not quite sure of the exact geo-graphical location of Oz, but I would put money on the fact that Dorothy and Toto were some-where in Europe. In fact, they might have even been in Spain. There is a Spanish verb—callejear—that means to wander the streets with no real purpose or destination. And, just like Dorothy wandered down the yellow brick road way back in 1939, I too have perambulated (yes, that’s an English word) throughout the streets of Madrid and all of the magical lands of Europe.

I have been over the rainbow in Europe since July 4, save an 11-day interlude back in the U.S. and 48 hours in Africa. In other words, that’s 153 days, 3,672 hours, 220,320 minutes or 13,219,200 sec-onds. I think that the European Union should give me honorary citizenship or at least a red passport as a measure of friendship and thanks for all the money I have spent here. See that headshot in the middle of this text? Yeah, that’s the picture you see right next to the word “broke” in the dictionary.

But because in Europe even the simplest tasks take at least five times longer than they should, I haven’t been holding my breath waiting for the mail to come. Instead, I have been practicing tap-ping my red-shoed heels together and saying, “No hay ningún sitio como mi casa” (you guessed it—there’s no place like home).

But like all good stories, this one has a twist. What was my home when I left for Europe—the great city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania—is home no longer. While I was busy being studious in Oxford, my parents and brother picked up and moved to Dallas, Texas. Now, to be fair, I was born and did live for 11 years in Dallas, but the Laura who left Dallas at age 11 is vastly different from the 20-year-old Laura who stopped by to check out the new digs in between studying in Oxford and going to Madrid.

But on the other hand, the Laura that board-ed the plane for Europe in Pittsburgh is not the same person that will hop off the runway in Dal-las. While callejear-ing across Europe, I changed a little bit with each place I visited and with the

subsequent expansion of my perspective of the world around me.

I changed after I tripped and dropped a bottle of wine while gazing up at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I changed after I spent the weekend touring the Guinness factory in Dublin. I changed after wan-dering through the not-so-nice neighborhood of Lambeth, London (Jack the Ripper’s old stomping grounds!) to find my cheap hostel. I changed after experiencing The Fringe Festival in Edinburgh. I changed after sleeping in a tent during Oktober-fest in Munich. I changed after getting kicked off a train I didn’t have a ticket for in Lisbon. I changed after avoiding getting kicked off a train I didn’t have a ticket for in Rome by hiding in the bath-room for 20 minutes. I changed after staying at the Flying Pig Hostel in the heart of Amsterdam. And I changed while being held in a shop and forced into buying a blanket in Morocco for 23 euros.

So what did I learn? Well, other than that the secret to efficient packing is realizing that you only need one pair of jeans for a weekend trip, it’s that there actually is no place quite like home. And in this case, “home” is the U.S.A.

Say what you want about the United States and all its faults, but we do some things (a lot of things) right. Thanksgiving night, after listening to my roommate Skype with her mom and lead off with “Tell me you miss me. Prove it! Cry or something!” I was sitting with her and our good friend—affection-ately called “Bait” because Spanish people can’t say her name—in a Spanish restaurant. We made a list of everything we were looking forward to when we got back to the U.S. The list includes: Hulu.com, not having to share a room, bin candy, hummus, teriyaki, life convenience, Target, pedicures and manicures, eyebrow waxing, Forever 21/shopping, the dollar, car, haircut, family, Chi (hair straight-ener), makeup, regular plug outlets, the gym, diets and last but certainly not least, English.

So next time you complain about something Uncle Sam is up to, remember you are so fortunate just to have been lucky enough to win the birth lottery and be in the United States. It is a chance many people, like Ishmael, my 10ish-year-old guide my friends and I found in the streets of Morocco, would give anything to have. From the hills of the Steel City to the glittering streets of the Big D, God bless the U.S.A. I’ll see you soon because there’s no place like home.

Laura Keeley is a Trinity junior. This is her final col-umn of the semester.

laura keeleyeurotrip

The epic battle you’ve all been waiting for.

Oh, you want to know who I am first? Three options: 1) read on, it’s at the bottom; 2) stop right here, skip to the bottom (preferred choice for people who just

want to know my name so they know who to throw eggs at this afternoon); c) the first letter of each of the first 10 paragraphs of last Monday’s column spells out my name. No joke. Cleverest thing I’ve done this semester.

I was planning on encap-sulating all the things I’ve learned from being Monday, Monday (notably, IFC brothers are surprisingly the most sen-sitive people on campus —sorry, guys), but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do what I set out to do this semester: point out when things are ridiculous and not being acknowledged as such.

Let’s be real here, whether or not you liked me this semes-ter, you’ve gotten used to the routine. There’s nothing like rolling out of bed, picking up your Monday paper, flipping to the opinion section and sprinting over to the nearest wall to pound your head through it. You’ll miss me when I’m gone. And don’t worry, I’ll miss you too.

So let’s get down to it—Charlotte Simmons’s last-ditch effort to fracture the campus and suck humor out of ev-eryone’s life.

Unions. Let’s talk.We have lots of unions on campus. We’ve got the West

Campus Union, which houses… like, three armchairs and the DukeCard office (Chick-Fil-A and Alpine don’t really count, and I’m getting to the Great Hall). We’ve got the East Campus Union, which people don’t realize is technically different from the Marketplace, primarily because it’s not technically differ-ent from the Marketplace.

We’ve got the Duke University Union. We’ve also got the Duke University Confederacy. For those of you who don’t know, that’s those jag-offs who were ambling around campus shouting “Eruditio!” and directing air traffic with their stupid arms last Friday. If there’s anybody whom you had to pick to be closet to Confederate apologists, wouldn’t it be the Old Trinity Club?

Okay, enough jokes. We’ve got Local 77, the Durham union representing Dining Services employees as well as groundskee-pers, housekeepers and sanitation workers.

There are a lot of jokes about Local 77, whether you’ve known the name of the union or not. We’ve all had a situa-tion where we were less than pleased with our food service, ranging from the person behind the counter being too dis-tracted with his cell phone to give you food all the way to the person behind the counter leaping over the counter to beat you up and spit in your ear.

Don’t get me wrong, unions are important. Service indus-try work is no cushy job, and absent organized labor, man-agement runs roughshod over people. Still, although union laborers can be both efficient and friendly, and most of them are, when union contracts means the decision to forgo hu-man decency goes unpunished, we sometimes see a few bad apples allowed to flourish.

A lot of the time, when we’re reminded that our bad experi-ences with Duke Dining might be related to unionized labor, there are problems of short-circuiting in our 80 percent liberal campus brains: U-U-UNIONS ARE SOLVING THE PLIGHT OF THE WORKER, BUT, BUT IMPREGNABLE JOB SECU-RITY AND PAY SCALE RELATED TO SENIORITY AND NOT PERFORMANCE DOESN’T D-D-DISINCENTIVIZE GOOD WORK. (Then your brain explodes, right before your Arabic midterm, no less.)

But let’s avoid the abstract arguments. I didn’t do very well in Econ 51, I don’t read the newspaper enough to have anecdotes about the auto industry and I’m therefore ill-equipped to en-gage the... you know… legitimate points about unionized labor versus whatever it is one would call labor that’s not in a union.

Regardless of where you fall on the question of unions, it’s

likely that you don’t want to be forced to eat at any one place. It just becomes especially true when it’s a place you already don’t like. The reason, in fact, that I’m talking about unions at all is because Duke Dining Services is thinking about “directing” student choices when it comes to dining to help make up for a $2 million deficit. If students are required to spend a certain amount at the places with the highest costs (spoiler alert: that’s usually the union-contract places), then it won’t lose money.

Summary: “Directed choice” is requiring that you use a certain amount of food points at some of the worst places on campus. Analogy: A robber directs you to empty out the cash register, and gives you full freedom to do what you wish with the money in your wallet.

Where have I heard this before? Oh yes, in “Atlas Shrugged,” where goddess of being a capitalist drama queen Ayn Rand created a pantheon of characters who solved their bumbling mistakes by forcing other people to pay for them.

Don’t worry, though, there’s a lot of student input coming in about this plan, and the student voice is being and will be heard. I got a transcript of the most recent meeting between the Duke University Student Dining Advisory Committee and dining officials.

DUSDAC: Hey, this plan is terrible. If we’re losing money, why don’t we find more creative ways to lower costs?

DINING OFFICIAL (in sign language): I’m so sorry, I’m pretending to be deaf right now. Can’t hear a word you’re say-ing. Get out of my office.

Care about this. I’ll be gone next year, meaning I’ll have the choice not to eat at bad restaurants. You will be here.

Talk to administrators. If you don’t want to do that, talk to the student leaders who are there to talk to administrators for you. Be upset. Stand up, walk away from your television set, open up the window and shout, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

As always, it’s been my pleasure ruining your Monday morning.

Danny Lewin had a blast this semester.

commentariesthe chronicle Monday, deceMber 7, 2009 | 19

lettertotheeditorClarification on LDOC committee fundingThe Dec. 2 article “LDOC budget set at $20,000”

includes several misleading points about the nature of the Last Day of Classes committee and its funding structure.

LDOC itself is not a direct branch of any major organization, but is instead a freestanding commit-tee under the joint oversight of the Duke University Union and Campus Council. Since its formalization in 2006, the LDOC committee draws a direct alloca-tion from the Student Activities Fee. In addition to this allocation, the LDOC committee may fundraise to fulfill any unmet need.

In accordance with its mission and past prece-dence, the Duke University Union board voted to sponsor this years’ event in the amount of $20,000 broken into two parts: a $15,000 cash allocation and a $5,000 optional loan to be paid back from next years’ LDOC fee allocation. These measures are still pending the approval of the Union’s oversight board. This amount is by no means the complete budget as the article implies, but is simply one of many spon-sorships that LDOC will likely receive this year. Cam-pus Council voted on its sponsorship Thursday.

There was also confusion about the debt incurred from last years’ LDOC celebrations. For a number of reasons, the committee overspent its budget in excess of $13,000, which was covered by a zero-interest loan from DUU. This loan has since been paid back in full. Due to the financial hardship that this repayment caused, the aforementioned $5,000 loan was offered to spread the burden over two years instead of one. While this does mean that LDOC this year will start with less than is cus-tomary, we have full confidence that the celebrations will be as great as ever. In this time of increased financial scrutiny, those in charge of the event understand the need for responsible and sustainable spending.

Zachary Perret, Trinity ‘10President, Duke University Union

Elizabeth Turner, Christie Falco, Trinity ‘10Co-chairs, LDOC Committee

Stephen Temple, Trinity, ‘11President, Campus Council

Charlotte Simmons takes on the union

Due to the overwhelming popularity of my most re-cent journalistic endeavor (my mom really liked it), I was asked for an encore.

OK, maybe not really, but I think that if people applaud-ed for columns like they applaud at concerts, they would have been clapping for at least two whole minutes. I figure if I am in such high demand, people obviously want to hear anything I have to say. Thus I have chosen to air a few of my grievances. This is going to be a real crowd pleaser.

Grievance No. 1: side-walk etiquette. We Duke students are pretty darn smart, but maybe I mistak-enly assumed we all knew how to operate a sidewalk. Sidewalks exist for a reason. Generally they provide a rela-tively clean and safe path for foot travel. I find them both convenient and effective.

On this campus though, it seems they work a little dif-ferently. What ruins this genius architectural element is the Loiterers, the Meanderers and the Blockers. These clueless beings undoubtedly choose to walk at the pace of a roly-poly and span the entire pathway while doing so. Compounding my frustration is the drainage (or lack thereof) on Duke’s campus. I personally own adorable wellies, but what about the people who are not as stylistically inclined or weather-aware and unfortunately are sporting canvas flats? To all you sidewalk hogs out there, you aren’t the only people who don’t want to be knee deep in mud.

I totally understand the desire to find dry ground among the flood, but a super-cool posse with its giant umbrellas are pretty difficult to navigate around. I know nobody wants to be the one awkward person who has to walk behind the other two in order to clear the sidewalk. I feel your pain; I’m always the one who gets insidiously pushed out of line. Staggering the line and projecting your voice are simple so-lutions to this unfortunate circumstance. In addition to the moving blockade, there is the static blockade—the cluster of talkers. To become a member of this elite group, one must insist on holding a conversation in the middle of a busy intersection and never appear to notice the ridiculous inconvenience it is creating. Please people, get out of the way. I like to be early for class. Don’t judge me.

Grievance No. 2: Andrew Tyler Hansbrough. While any Blue Devil could write an entire book on this subject, I only plan on discussing his most recent offense. He has de-stroyed television for me. I occasionally like to relax after a long day of classes by watching a bit of TV. The last thing I want is to sit through commercials, of course, but I’ve learned to tolerate the bizarre “natural enhancement” ads and Subway’s $5 foot-long tune.

What I refuse to put up with is the combination of ex-asperating automobile pitches and Tyler Hansbrough. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky. To catch you up though, our dear friend Mr. Han-sbrough has recently been contracted to make a cameo in a Performance Automall commercial which I’m almost certain is scheduled to run every three minutes in the Tri-angle area. I resent the fact that I now have to endure a middle-aged smooth talker AND an acting-challenged, yuppy-eyed Tar Heel. I definitely don’t deserve that. In fact, no one deserves that. It is painful to watch in so many ways.

Grievance No. 3: the fake drunk. I’m talking about that person at the party who pretends to be drunk when he/she clearly is not even close to being intoxicated. This act-ing is almost as intolerable as Hansbrough’s repetition of the word “wow” in reference to a BMW. Their unwilling-ness to own their true BAC is pathetic. I totally respect the choice to not drink (at all or just on occasion), but people, people, a concerted effort to act like an idiot is so not cool. You most likely have abstained from alcohol for the very purpose of not ending up tagged on Facebook with your head in a trash can. Plus, if you feel that great of a need to conform, everyone around you is probably too drunk to notice you’re stone-cold sober.

Y’all might think that my pet peeves are over-the-top or nonsensical, but I wonder when the last time anyone around here heard about someone glad to ruin a pair of shoes, overjoyed to hear a dealership pitch from Tyler Han-sbrough (or hear anything from him for that matter) or de-lighted to watch the social shortcomings of the desperate?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.I’ve had such a ridiculously fun time writing for The

Chronicle this semester and really appreciate all of my readers. I hope my sassy perspective has changed at least one life (in addition to my own, that is).

Anna Sadler is a Trinity junior. This is her final column of the semester.

Pet peeves

i am charlotte simmons

monday, monday

anna sadleri’m not being that

way, but...

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