#deceased: facebook and grief

lisa moyer, ph.d. eastern illinois universitysuzanne enck, ph.d. university of north texas

overview

definitions

theories of grief

methodology

findings

conclusions and implications

definitions

bereavement – period of sadness after losing a loved one through death

grief - feelings engendered by the loss of a loved one and the process of adapting to the loss

(DeSpelder & Strickland, 2011)

theories of grief

theories of grief

Kubler-Ross model of grief based on her work with terminally ill patients assumed there was an “end” to griefpublished in “on death and dying” (book published in 1969)well accepted and used to explain, but…validity not well supported by the research

(Friedman, 2012; Kubler-Ross, 1969)

specific types of grief disenfranchised grief (Doka, 1989)grief that is not acknowledged by society

loss of petsextramarital affair (secret)abortion/miscarriageunacceptable causes of death, suicidenot grieving in a manner acceptable by society

(Doka, 1989)

living with grief Becvar (2001) – making meaning of deathfactors affect how we make meaning

culturerace/ethnicityreligionbeliefs

(Becvar, 2001)

focus on resilience – instead of closureliving with griefindividual variation in grieving processhealthy griefavoidance of complicated grief

(Boss, 2013)

healthy grievinggrief is a normal and natural experience after experiencing loss (death)

accepting the finality of the lossacknowledging and expressing feelingsadjusting to life without the deceasedmaking peace with the loss (not over it)

current research is based on this theory, and explored how facebook can help individuals make peace with loss

(University of Washington Counseling Center, 2015)

“it isn’t real until it’s on facebook”

facebook and grief

facebook allows users to maintain bonds with the deceased and other survivors

originally, how to handle facebook accounts after death was up to the user’s family/survivorsmore recently, policy has changed so that user profiles can remain in an active state

(Facebook Help Center, 2015)

facebook policy

deceased users’ pages can now continue to appear active, allowing friends and family to visit the page and post comments, pictures, videos, etc. as often as they desire

(Facebook Help Center, 2015)

it is not clear at this point whether contact with deceased users’ facebook pages is beneficial to the grieving process

ongoing visibility can be jarring and possibly detrimental

news feedinvitations to eventsbirthday reminders

research question

how does accessing a deceased user’s facebook page after death affect the grieving process?

methodology

mixed-method research design

online survey – developed after a careful review of the grief and social media literature

questions about facebook use, having a ‘friend’ that had died but page remained up and/or active, how they felt about visiting the deceased’s page, etc.distributed link to survey and invitation to participate on both researcher’s facebook pages as well as groups that we belonged totwo $25 amazon gift cards offered in random drawings as incentive

sample

N = 392

of those, 103 (26.3%) had a close friend or family member pass away with an active facebook page – this was the sample we analyzed

n = 103

sample characteristics

figure 1gender distribution (n = 103)

figure 2ethnicity distribution (n = 103)

on average, participants had an active facebook account for 7 years (M = 7.57; SD = 2.01)

number of friends ranged from 50 – 2000; (median = 400)

respondents had lost three facebook friends on average (M = 3.38, SD =2.28)

the mean length of time that had passed since the participants’ most recent facebook friend had died was 18 months (M = 18.05, SD = 18.64)

# times visited

number* % of sample

once 8 8.9%2-5 42 46.7%

6-10 17 18.9%11-20 5 5.6%

more than 20 18 20.0%*numbers do not add up to 100 as 13 cases were missing data

table 1number of times participants visited the most recently deceased friend’s facebook page

participants were then asked to think about a close friend or family member that had passed away, and had their facebook page memorialized

for most of the sub-sample, the loss was within the past two years (72.2%)

type of relationship % of samplefriend 42.7%aunt/uncle 11.7%parent 10.0%cousin 10.0%co-worker 4.9%in-law 4.9%spouse/partner 1.9%

table 2type of relationship participant had with close friend/family member

*percentages less than 1.0% included: grandchild, grandparent, high school sweetheart, husband of a husband’s cousin, ex-realtor, ex-spouse/partner

when asked to quantify how often they had visited their deceased close friend/family member’s facebook page since they had died, responses ranged from 1 – 730

average was 21.90 times (SD = 77.62)

variable mean standard deviation

how do you feel about being able to visit your close friend/family member’s facebook page?

3.99 1.78

how helpful do you think it is for your grieving process to visit your close friend/family member’s facebook page?

4.82 1.92

how painful has it been for you to see constant reminders of your close friend/family member’s death through facebook?

3.70 1.89

table 3feelings about grief and facebook (n = 86)

*higher numbers meant “great” for the feeling item, “extremely helpful” for the helpful item and “extremely painful” for the painful item on scale from 1 to 7

respondents were then asked if they had ever posted anything to their own facebook page that could be perceived as a message for their deceased close friend/family member – 52% said yes

open-ended item assessed “why?” – three themes emerged1. to commemorate a birthday/anniversary2. to feel connected/help with grieving process3. was thinking of them/something reminded me

of them

commemorate birthday/anniversary

“it would have been my dad’s birthday last week, so I posted a message along with some pictures, tagging his [facebook] page”

“on the anniversary of birthdays to continue to bring awareness, to the deceased’s life, legacy, and undying spirit”

feel connected/help with grieving process

“it makes me feel I’m still connected to her”

“I don’t know, I thought it would make me feel better”

“I posted a picture that he and I took and some of the last words he posted. It was a way to remember the better days when he was alive. I know hes [sic] passed on but I like to keep positive memories”

was thinking of them/something reminded me of them

“the promised [sic] I kept to a family member before they passed. I posted it because it was my daily reminder that I’m still upholding the promise I made to them and to let others know she’s on my mind”

“song lyrics, pictures, things that remind me of them”

“I wrote about her influence in my life and in my work (writing)”

please describe, in your own words, how you think facebook can help or hinder the grieving process

“when an extremely close friend of mine died at 16, all of us (his close friends) were able to come together and say our goodbyes through facebook in the wake of a sudden and traumatic death”“…it gives people a place to ‘talk’ to that person still…”“…when I check fb first thing in the morning before getting ready for work and see reminders of my friend who killed herself or my girlfriend who died drinking and driving, that takes me some time to reorient and prepare for my day again”

do you want to have your facebook profile page memorialized when you die?

most (71%) said “yes”

conclusions and implications• in general, the participants in this sample felt

conflicted about facebook’s ability to help them grieve, but admitted that they had visited often when the relationship was described as “close”

• participants used facebook to express their feelings about death and loss, to commemorate important dates, and to connect with others that shared their loss

• facebook is a tool that can help with grief, but how to utilize it to its greatest benefit for survivors is not yet completely known

future recommendations

• more research is needed – particularly with a more diverse sample and using qualitative methodology

• conversations with practitioners regarding how facebook can be beneficial to survivors is important as findings suggest that it can help the grieving process for some people

• the creators/developers of facebook are willing to alter policies to be inclusive, so this line of research is practical and significant

grieving is a normal part of life and facebook can help people maintain bonds

with the people that they have lost and connect with people that are grieving for the same people/person – this can be a

healthy and useful tool!

thank you!

• thank you to the many people that participated in this research and that supported our passion for pursuing this topic!

• thank you to AAFCS for giving us the opportunity to present our findings

• questions?

• lmmoyer@eiu.edu