r 8 THE SPORTING LIFE. Dec.FOR.

ALL COLORS.

,$2.00&$3,00

FBlB01S,$1.50&$2,50 MARKET & EIGHTH STS.,-PHILADELPHIA.

MRS. SANTA CLAUS.THE BENEFICIAL RESULTS OF1

TOMMY'S CALL, ON HER.

Tom Wanted to See Mr. Santa Clans, But He Was Out, so He Explained His Wants to Her.

Since Christmas was only a little over a week distant, it was no wonder that Tommy was very much interested in everything pertaining thereto. Christ- mases did not seem anywhere near so close together to Tommy as they did to Tommyjs papa. In fact, they appeared to be dreadfully far apart, and, think as hard as lie might, Tommy could not re­ collect more than four of them in his whole life, though Tommy's mamma said that he had seen three more.

As Tommy lay in bed thinking the inatter over he thought those three Christmases could not have amounted to much, since they had not impressed themselves upon his memory, and par­ ticularly as he had only a very plain rubber ring and a tin rattle to show for them. The last few Christmases he had received splendid presents tops, toy guns and gaudily painted tin soldiers. Tommy began wishing very hard that he might go and see Santa Clans and the place where all those wonderful presents came from.

"It must be n perfectly marvelons place," thought Tommy, "and I'd like to really, truly see Santa Olsuus believe I'd rather be him than 1'resident Cleve­ land." For Tommy's papa and mamma Lad both said that he might nome time be President of the United States, but had never suggested that there was the slightest probability of his ever becom­ ing Santa Claus.

The more Tommy thought of the matter the more he wished that he could visit the home of Santa Claus. He wished and he wished and he wished and then! Tommy had read of a little boy by the name of Johnny Sizzletop, who, by holding the wishing stone of the Great and

MOST SITItBME RABBIDA,that had been given him by an old fairy woman, and wishing very hard had be­ come n fairy king. Yet he had never dreamed that if he only wished hard enough he might have his wish gratified, even though he did not have such a stone in his hand. But now he looked about him and saw that he eer- ttinly had experienced that great good fortune. He was standing by the open door of a funny little log house that he did not need to have anybody tell him was Santa Clans' home. It had a co­ nical, square little chimney, and its roof and the ground all about it was cov­ ered with snow that was made out of powdered isinglass, like the snow oa Christinas cards. Besides, there was a little rubber dog sitting in the doorway that Tommy knew would squeak if he were squeezed properly, and a little tin rooster standing on the fence, while a tin soldier in a most gaudy paint uni­ form was walking up and down in the little back yard, literally as stiff and straight as a gun barrel.

"But where can Santa Claus beV thought Tommy, disappointedly, peering into the empty front room of the little house. .

"Anything I can do for you, sir.'Tommy looked around at the sound of

the strange voice and found the tin sol­ dier standing by his side, the young man's hni:t.re touching his cap in politt salute. Tommy was soniewh it startled for a moment, but he very quickly re­ gained his wonted composure and said as respectfully as he knew how:

"If you please, I came here to see Mr ganta Claus. Will yon kindly inform me whether he is at home?"

Kegret shone visibly upon the features of the soldier.

"I am very sorry," ho said, kindly. "Indeed. I am greatly pained, but Mr. Santa Claus is out. However, you may top in, and perhaps Mrs. Simla Clans may have time to say 'How do yoii do?" to you, though she is the busiest womai that ever lived. I declare it is wonderful the work

MRS. SANTA CLAUS DOES.""Why," exclaimed Tommy, "I didn't

know there ever was such a lady!""Of course there is a Mrs. Santa

Claus! I am surprised at your iguoruiice, remarked the tin soldier, as he led the way into Santa Clans' house.

Away in the back of the house they came upon Mrs. Santa Claus. AIK bnsy! Tommy felt that he, too, ha never seen anybody quite so busy, unless it \yrrv his own mamma just befor< Christmas. Her fingers just flow as she worked on a doll's bonnet, and Tommy could smell some candy that she hi; cooking in the next room, that he saw was her kitchen.

Yet, with all that work to see to. she was an awfully jolly, roly poly little woman, with the merriest little spi-cta cled eyes and the funniest little cap Imaginable.

"Why are you looking at me so won deringly little man?" she asked, stroking the arge felt cat that sat by her side and looking at Tommy pleasantly ovei the top of her spectacles.

The felt cat purred and also lookec inquiringly at Tommy.

"Because I never saw you before,' answerod Tommy, truthfully, "and be cause I never heard of you, though I have heard of your husband often. He brines me presents."

"Can I do anything for yon?" she nsked, kindly "I am very busy almos too busy to say 'How do you do to litth men, although I am very fond of them ml of little women, too."

A bright idea occurred to Tommy He had been wishing for a long time tha Santa Clans would bring him a bicyeK this Christmas. Now would be n gooc time to speak of it, Tommy thought and he acted upon the inspiration.

"A bicycle," repeated Mrs. Sant: Claus, "yon would like Santa Claus ti bring you a bicycle? Well," she addei thoughtfully. "I 11 have to tell him abou that. You see, I attend to the Christina

candy, and the dolls and their clothes andMR. OI,AOS ATTENDS TO THE BICYCLESand guns and boys' toys," she continued holding the doll's cap off for inspection "If he had the making of the little girls dolls I am sure thero never would b any; and, as for their clothes, the; never would be in fashion. I am sur he would let the candy burn while h was whittling out jumping jacks."

"I've often wondered U,ow lie coul<

do it all," respectfully remarked Tommy. IThen he scratched the felt cat under

ts chin, and it purred delightedly."Please tell him rubber tires," said

Tommy. ]"I suppose half the folks don't know

here's any Mrs. Santa Claus," musedhe little woman when she again tookler rocking chair, "because I'm so busyhat I can't make any calls from oneJhristmas to another. And then I don'tgo out with Mr. Clans," she continued,'because I am afraid I should get

wedged in some chimney. I don't thinksteam heaters will make it any easier,either."

I should think it would make it larder," said Tommy.

"Besides, I have to cook Santas Christmas turkey."

"He must be very hungry after he-s been all around," said Tommy. '1 iin when I've been sliding down hill all the afternoon."

"Now. you have seen there is Mrs.Santa dims, and I'll tell Mr. Santa,'laus about the bicycle with rubber

tires," continued the little woman,and "

But Tommy did not seem to catch he rest of what she was saying. Per- laps it was

"GOOD NIGHT" OR "GOOD-BYE." At any rate, Mrs. Santa Claus. the tin soldier and the felt cat. with the little room faded slowly away; and when Tommy opened his eyes the next morn­ ing he was lying in his own little bed, just as though he had never left it.

Nevertheless, Tommy told his papa, iiis mamma, his bis brother and little sister all about it at the breakfast table. His big brother laughed at him, and said he had only been dreaming, and that there was no Santa Claus nor Mrs. Santa Claus. But ,it is well known that there are wiser persons than seven­ teen-year-old brothers.

Tommy's papa and mamma did not laugh at him at least not at the table and Tommy felt that they ought to know more about it than Frank. Then when Christmas came at last there was the bi­ cycle with the rubber tires that Tommy wanted, standing under the Christmas tree. There was a beautiful doll, too, for Tommy's little sister, all dressed in what Tommy was sure was the latest style in clothes and hats all of which proved quite conclusively to Tommy's mind that there was a Mrs. Santa Clans, who worked quite as hard to make children happy as did Mr. Santa Claus, but somehow or other did not get the credit for it; but this poor little lady, who had been neglected so long, had now a staunch defender in Tommy, who has almost persuaded his big bro­ ther that there is a Santa Claus as well as a Mrs. Santa Claus, who, according to Tommy's account, is the nicer of the two.

THE KIGHT WAY.

The Chicago Cycle Show a Lesson in How Snob A flairs Should be Con­ ducted.After announcing that 'Oo-'fHi would

find them in business at the old stand, on December 2-7, the promoters of the Chicago Cycle Show issue the following instructions to exhibitors, which instruc­ tions, we might say, leave absolutely nothing to be asked for by the trade, the public or the press. The rules and regulations are:

Reception of Exhibits. Platforms will be ready for occupancy at 12 o'clock noon on Saturday, Jan. 5. The management will be prepared to receive exhibits at !* A. M. on the same day. Installalion must cease at lli o'clock noon on Monday.

Crates and packing cases, if properly numbered and delivered to an attendant, who will he provided for the purpose, will be carefully stored and returned to the exhibitors at the close of the show.

Removal of exhibits inny commence at 11 1". M. on Saturday, Jan. 12, and must be completed not later tliun !) A. M. on Monday, Jan. 14.

Railings are limited to _three feet In height from tlie platform and must be fastened to the platform.

Signs. Occupants of spaces under the gallery are permitted to use three feet in depth of the front of the gallery. They are also permitted to use the. walls at the back of their spaces, except that the windows must not be covered. The height of the front of the gallery from the lionr is 7ft. lOin. All other signs are limited to a depth of three feet, and must be raised 7ft. Gin. clear of the floor. Signs in tlie front of stage must not interfere with a clear view of the performances. They may, If desired, be erected of the same height as the other signs, but must be removed when entertainments are In progress. No roofs will be permitted.

Railings, signs and other requisites must be arranged without damage to the build­ ings.

All exhibits must be fully open to pub­ lic view.

Stands must be cleaned and exhibits arranged before 10 A. M. dully and at no other time.

The management reserves the right to determine what exhibits come legitimately under the head of cycles and accessoric:- aii'l to exclude all others. The Second Hegiment Armory Is reserved for the exclusive display of cycles, and Buttery I> Armory for tires, accessories, machin­ ery, etc.

No one having: contracted for space will be permitted to sublet same, except through the show management.

The Show will open on Monday, Jan. 7. at 3 1*. M., and on nil other days at 10 A. M.. remaining open dally until 10.30 r. M. The morning sessions, from 10 A. M. to 1 I'. M., will be reserved exclusively for cycle agents aud, those of kindred trades.

Admission of Agents. Cycle agents and representatives of implement, hardware, carriage aud kindred trades desiring ad­ mission to the morning sessions will be required to register at lie ollice of the company at Hattery D Armory, aud, on properly identifying themselves, by card or otherwise and register!UK. will be pro­ vided with a badge which will entitle them to sued admission. The register wil be open to all exhbltors.

A bureau of Information will be found at Hattery D, at which all desired Infor­ mation may be obtained. Mall matter wil' here be properly indexed and delivered.

For the purpose of preventing extortion a contract will be made with a responsible house or houses for the supply of car pets, decorations, desks, carpenter work and other necessities, whose representa tives will be in attendance at the build ings.

Competent stenographers will bo employ ed at the office of the company In Hat tery D Armory, whose services will b( at the disposal of exhibitors and the press at reasonable prices.

Tlie Cycling Fross. Adequate facilities will be provided for the cycling press without extra charge and a limited number of permits will be granted for the dis trlbution of sample copies and other read Ing inatter. Competent stenographers may be engaged In the buildings.

Catalogues will be distributed free. Mat ter for Insertion in the catalogue, whicl will he edited by a person selected by th

.association for the purpose, must reach the secretary on or before Dec. 17. The cost of advertising space to the cycle trade Is limited by agreement with the publishers to the following rates: $50 pei page, $30 half page, $17.50 quarter page.

As a suggestion^ the management call attention to the advantages of having wheels raised, say two feet from 'he plat form, by means of a bicycle stand o other contrivance, the object being tf permit the public to examine them wit1 case.

All poiiiU uut covered by these rule

First Annual ConventionOF THE

ational Board of TradeCycle Manufacturers

• -^-—_^Will be held in the Concert Hall of the.....

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

NEW YORK CITY-

From January 21st to January 26th, 1895.

Special Arrangementsv °been made with ail

Railroads in the UnitedStates for one and one-third Fare Rate to all persons attending this Convention. Full particulars can be obtained from your local Ticket Agent.

A. KENNEDY-CHILD, Secretary.

are subject to the decision of the show nanagement.

FOT ^ATI^A'^Y^B^mON CO.,3;U Dearborn street, Chicago.

S. A. WILES, Secretary.

EVERYTHING

Except Riders in Evidence at the First Meeting of the Micliaux.

New York, Dec. 17. Almost everything was in evidence at tlie opening of the Miohaux Bicycle Club, except the bi­ cycle.

There were pretty women galore, mu- MC, refreshments and no end of chatter; but riding the bicycle was left almost entirely to professionals.

The women sat about that i«, those who know how to ride and coyly wait­ ed each one for the othfr to begin; while those who didn't know how to ride were Miserly urging them on.

This will never do. We must break the ice somehow. Somebody must f,o

lit on the floor and have a good tumble, and then every daughter of Kve will immediately do likewise, all formality and timidity will be done aw;iy with, and the club will be in actuality what it s in name a bicycle club.

BITS OFJACIHG NEWS. Playing fast and lose the crooked

racer in his riding. Class B Is m,t amateurism any more

than noise Is music. Take your lantern. IMoger.es, and sec

If you can find a real amateur. Max the Austrian champion. Is the

latest to join the professional ranks at I'crls.

Amateurism !ina a dls;ios!t:oii to sag down in the middle if any amount of gold Is loaded on it.

The unsuccessful racer's complaint against fortune Is often a masked apology for lucompetency.

The announcement thnt G. Lacy Hilller .ntended becoming a candidate for Parlia­ ment has been denied.

A little goes a long way with the man whose eighteen pound wheel carries him safely through a twenty-four hour race.

-Hall down modern amateurism and the result will be that you will find nothing In it but a few notions, and poor notions at that. If there is one promontory In the

United States that surpasses all others. let it go into all the new geographies as Class B Blutf.

-Mossback "Is the amateur racing sea­ son virtually over?" Tmloy "Virtually? Pooh! If it ever had any virtue, It got over thut long ago."

The professionalism In n modern ama­ teur reminds one of a lizard; you lop off

bit of him, he s'julrms a little, and straightway grows eu ugaiu. It always puffs a rather up -A'lth self-

righteous conceit to find out thnt h° la not quite so flagrant a violator of thB amateur law as soi'.ie others are that he knows. "Er man," said Tncle Ebeu. "am en­

titled ter his own opinions in regards to dis anu.'hoorism. lilt am only when he tries ter mok somebody er present oh

u diit he gits disagreeable."-If the ancients really believed the earth

was square they never could Lave got th(i Idea from any dealings they may have hail with their athletes, unless the I.itier differed greatly from the cycling ones of to-<jsy.

A cycling tourist in England has been thrown from his machine and robbed of S2(K) which he had in his pocket. Will someone please go over tlie Class B list and see which one of them is now touring in Kuglnud? A fine statue by Gnlllaume. represent­

ing n racing man. a winner, dismounting after n bard-fought race, and saluting the public, will ornament the open space in front of the Palals d« 1'lndustrle during the French show.

Austria and Italy nre looked to next season to supply better inducements for the professional racer than France will, where a sort of protective tariff policy is looked for in behalf of French racing men as against foreign ones.

"De gret dlfliculty in inos' cases 'bout belli" er amachoor out of a job," said Uncle Eben, "am de trouble yoh's ll'ble ter 'sperience in glttin* er recommend f'um de las' maker what was fool enuf ter pay yoh expenses and slch like." It takes a snail exactly 14 days nnd 5

hours to travel n mile. Were It not for the Frenchman's fondness for dining off the snail he mljht mnke a fortune winning slow races in France, where this infantile form of cycle racing is still In vogue. It is Interesting to note how some men

who are Intensely anxious to pose as amateur cyclists are equally earnest to figure as professional journalists. The amusing part is thnt they live on their cycling and sport on their journalism.

"And about the salary," said the ama­ teur, who was arrangirg with the manu­ facturer for next season's racing. "Well," said the manager, after « moment's thought, "suppose we call it $2i>0 a week." "All right," "Of course, you understand that ?25() is merely what wo call it In the wheel papers. You will get $2T>."

Tlie resolution offered by Walter N. Brunt at the last meeting of the Cali­ fornia Associated Cycling Clubs, viz., that tho clubs as an association hold no races on the Sabbath day, appears to have stirred up a tempest in cycling circles. It is said that when the resolution comes up to lie voted upon its defeat is unquestion­ able.

In a physical examination of the stu­ dents of Swarthmore College it is interest­ ing to note that the four strongest men. tested as to their back, legs, fore and upper arms, and lungs, are members of the foot ball team, namely. Sims, Clark. Lippiucott and Knauer, are wheelmen, and tho first-named is tlie well-known racing crack of Class A fame.

-Four years ago there was no cycling track In France worthy of the name, but, according to u Paris journal, there are now 49. On looking at the list It is evident that the majority of them can only by the greatest stretch «X tu« imagination b«

called cycling tracks, nnd the number of well-made tracks would probably not bt. much more than a dozen.

One of those know-it-all riders who suppiiea lllling for a column on a daily paper, the editor of which thinks the fill­ ing is cycling matters of interest, says: "The whole truth of the matter Is that the professional is jealous of thr; Class H amateur." As the mosquito said to tin elephant ns they walked down the gnng- pluiik of the ark together. "Quit sliovin'."

McKce & Harrington hit the nail square on the head when they print the following oil the front page of their catalogue: "Do you suppose a racing man rides a 'stock wheel';' Speed has become such a factor In bicycles that our wheel lias come to the head of the procession. You cannot get speed unless everything it refined down to n close lit, after tin parts leave the lathes; this can only be done by expert hand work." A funny incident recently occurred at

a South African race meeting. The judges disagreed as to the number of laps covered in a mile race, no time having been taken or scorers appointed. To ascertain whcthei the men had missed a lap or ridden the full distance the ofllclals set to and counted the wheel marks. Whether tills enlighten­ ed them on the point we are not told, but we imagine not, as the account says a three-mile race had been ridden prior to the mile in dispute.

Paris is the place for queer match races. That was a queer one between u barber and a cycle dealer, both cyclists, at the Seine Velodrome the other day. The barber undertook, if he lost, to shave his opponent, free, gratis, and for nothing, during six calendar months, whilst on hit part, if the dealer lost he was to blow up the barber, or rather his tires, during the space of one year, at the same price. That dealer Is now having his smiling physiognomy lathered aud scraped free of charge.

Tho idea that racing men nre all super­ stitious is a mistake, as can be shown by the way In which No. IS has stuck to /immerman during the past season. Thir­ teen sat down to the farewell dinner given to the champion when he went abroad last spring, and on the trip over his stateroom number was .'!13 and across the channel It was 13. From Havre to Paris be had compartment 13. and In the lirst race he rode In his competitor's number was 13. It was on the 13th lap that Harden gave up his race when /-he and Ziminv were matched this summer, and It was on Dec. 13 that the champion made his first appearance in Philadelphia as a "pro."

A club of aristocratic amateurs has been formed in Paris, nnd the membership already numbers more than 2<iO. notwith­ standing that the cost of membership is a high one. It will organize private meetings every Friday, at which the members will Indulge in the pleasurable sensations of racing, while an invitation professional rnce will also be held. The first of these meetings. In the Velodrome d'Hlver, was an unqualified success. Among the select company of spectators, comprising natu­ rally n large number of ladies in elegant toilettes, were the British Ambassador (the Marquis of Dnffcrin anil Ava), the Marquis de In Hochefoncauld. due de Brissac, due de Lnynes. and a great many other mem­ bers of the aristocracy.

Tlie English wheel papers have a full pago advertisement of an English maker, headed "Kimmerman. Ills plans for 'I).".' In this advertisement the following an­ nouncement is made: "The world will shortly ring1 with the great success of the "Nitnrod" Cycle Company, Bristol, Eng­ land. Why! Because /immerman, tin most wonderful rider thnt the cvcling public has ever seen, will In future ride a "Mmrod /immy." His friend, Harry Wheeler, will also be on a "NImroI' Ximmy," and several of the crack rider!, of Europe will join the procession. The "iN'lmrod Kliumy" racer and light roadster for lS).r> will be built according to designs and measurements that X.immernian has laid down, and tlie "Nlmrod" and "Zlmmy" bicycles will, therefore, be the greatest favorites with all riders on the track am road."

The French professional riders hav. decided upon forming themselves into a syndicate for the protection of their inter ests, and have blossomed forth into an association known as the Alliance Syndi eate des Courenrs: One of the article: of the new association seeks to impresi upon track proprietors the necessity o organizing races open only to French rid ers, but it is not easy to see how they arc going to Insist upon this reform 'being carried out. If professional racers seek t< ride the high horse thev will infallibh come to harm. But speaking generally, 1 seems as If tlie new association Is more of a mutual benefit than a militant body a« n fund will be opened for sick cyclist, or members who may be incapacitated lr accident from riding. If they keep strictl ; to this purpose, and do not come into con tlict with the track proprietors, the new association will no doubt be received with fa vor.

HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE.The successful tire-maker has a right tt

he puffed up.Cyclists in the German army buy their

own machines.The French Cycle Show is likely to provi

the biggest on record.An egotist is a man who thinks he

knows more about cycling than we do.A narrow-minded \vheeluian-the onf

who believes in decreasing the width o tread.

Tho punctured tire flatly refuses to per form Us functions until it has been re­ paired.

Many a rider owes his purchase of n goot wheel to the advice he didn't take abou other wheels.

"The Referee" Is one of the few paperi in cycling that know what they think am dare to say it.

In the economy of cycling It doesn't pay to always be borrowing trouble and payiui a high rate of interest on It.

A couple of rubber bands to put ove your coat sleeves at the wrists Is a com fortable tip for winter riding.

The bulk of the roadster tires abroad soli for next season will have a non-slipping de vice of some kind or another.

Amateur Athlete, ' of ritUburg

|y| adison ^q u are GardenNEW YORK CITY

....January igth to January 26th, i8gs

Cycles, Cycle fleeessopies

C and Sundries

Under the Auspices of the....,

NATIONAL BOARD OF TRADE

OF CYCLE MANUFACTURERS

All the Reading Manufacturers of the World Exhibit their 1895 Models.

is soliciting subscriptions to a fund, to be devoted to a search for Lenz.

Tho Victor catalogue is like what Scott said a good book should be "Opened with expectation and closed with profit."

Did you ever notice the difference in dldiculty between mounting your machine In daylight and doing so in darkness?

"A I'ettlconted Parley" Is the way an English wheel paper heads up Its aewunt of the meeting of a woman's wheel club.

A great many men who start out to set tho cycling world on fire lind themselves baked" before the first inlle has been scorch­ ed.

Australian wheelmen do not know how lucky they arc there is only one wheel paper published In the whole land of the kangaroo.

A one-legged rider Is to write a book on a ride he has made from the Atlantic to the Pacific. We suppose It will be ap­ propriately bound in half calf.

Through tho breakage of a rear wheel an English quintette of female trick riders were precipitated into the orchestra of I the theatre they were exhibiting at.

Answering a fool according to his folly: "Yon went to Europe on the steamer, didn't you?" "Oh, no; a friend of mine ami myself rode over on our tandems."

We believe that the often-asked question of whether non-cycling people are induced to become riders through visiting cycle shows can safely be answered In tho af­ firmative.

A perfect pump should be long, light and free from rattle when carried on the machine. It should also have a detach­ able, flexible tube, with covered nozzle, to prevent the egress of any dust.

There Is a place down on Long Island called Islip. The reckless wheelman should remember this when scorching through this village, for fuar that he may have to add to the town's name a postcript of "me too."

The petroleum-driven cycle Is said to be a German invention. There must be some mistake here; now, If they had said the German cycle was a beer-driven invention- well, that would have seemed more likely of being the truth.

They were talking of scorching and the hump it engendered. Hicks "How foolish it is to be always aping tbe> racer." Wicks "Yes. but then it is safer tlum monkeying with him when It comes to questions of pace."

A modest lamp manufacturer thus an­ nounces his latest nroifiiotion in the cy­ cle lamp line: "Without intending any disparagement to the sun, I may confidently assert that my Flim Flame light Is the best ever invented."

Mr. Rucker, who has acted for Hennkr & Co. in their purchase of an American factory at Westboro, Mass., denies that his company are In any way connected with the Haleigh Cycle Company, as has been incorrectly stated.

When an American writer attempts to write up a cycle show in advance he Is usually satisfied to call the attempt a forecast, but when his British brother does ttie same thing he dubs the products of his pen "anticipatory notes.*'

Riders over G feet in height should have a machine built sufficiently high in the frame so as not to show more than two Inches of the saddle stem. It should also be fitted with 7-inch cranks, and, pre­ ferably, two 30-iuch wheels.

F. P. Prlal is credited with having made the following witty remark after the returns of the recent New York State Di­ vision were in:" "I always knew that League elections were a lottery, but, bless my soul! the result of this one resembles a Pottery."

"We havo~ received a pamphlet descrip­ tive of the pneumatic typewriter (which Is to be worked by a limited liability com­ pany)." "Irish Cyclist." Reads like one of those famous Irish buHs. How can a pneumatic typewriter be worked by any­ thing but air?

"What do you mean by telling me this machine is a jewel? There isn't a good thing about it, except the enamel ami nickel, which serve to make it look nice and to hide its defects." "That's why I told yon it was a jewel it is more orna­ mental than useful, see?"

Amateur "See here, I want to change this wheel I Imught for my wife. She does iiot like it." Incstlne "Change de veel! Yon must be grazy! Dot's vinest veel dot ever vas seen! I tell yon vhat, mine frient. Id's petter yon keep dot veel nut go homo and change your vife!"

The well-known "Louvre," the Macy of Paris, evidently wish to be quite "up-to- date," as they have now decided to open a kind of cloak-room for cyclists, where their customers who arrive on wheels may leave tlieir luuuhiues ill perfect sucuriU

while making their purchases a sign of tlie times.

When examining a secoml-hnnd ma­ chine previous to purchase the following points should always be noted: Triteness of frame, easy and straight running-wheels, state of tires and condition of the bear­ ings. Nearly all the other defects, if pres­ ent, are not easily discernible, but soon become apparent on a trial spin.

Riding In the dark Is seldom pleasant, and when, as is tlie case at present, dark­ ness is Cimmerian In its intensity, it is almost Impossible to enjoy It, even with the assistance of the extremely powerful lamps which It Is now possible to have, Some people prefer to be lampless, If there be that darkness which is yet light enough to enable one to follow the contour of the road with a little effort.

The following item Is going the rounds of the press: "In boring for a well in the basement of a Chicago bicycle couwrn's new eight-story factory a vein of natural gas was struck, sending forth a six-Inch flow, which, when ignited, blazed to the height of five or six feet." We nre not astonished that a gas well should be struck in tills particular factory. We have long known of the plenitude of gas in that vicinity.

An experimsnt with ball bearings was recently made in Canada. A street-car, fitted with ball bearings, was drawn 'a distance of several hundred feet by men pulling on three strands of ordinary sewin.f thread. A carriage inan'nfactnrer put another style of ball bearings on the axles of a coach ordinarily pulled by four horses. A trained dog was hitched to the pole, and he drew the coach around tlie yard with little effort.

The custom of riding the old year out and tlie new year In will be observed by the representatives of a number of the more prominent New York cycling cluba on the night of the 31st inst. The route will be from One Hundred and Tenth street near the entrance to the Park, to the (Jetty House, In Yonkers, and the first to arrive there will get a bis; bottle of cham­ pagne. This has always been the prize for the midnight race, the Getty House proprietor having beeii the donor for th6 last five years.

"Novice" writes: "Please sny which Is the quickest to stop going fast down hill: a safety with a low gear or one with n highgeur?. Also, please let mo know which, is the fastest down hill." The first ques­ tion has been gone info by experts, ami the general consensus of opinion seems to be that a low-geared machine going fast can be pulled u[> sooi.er than one with a hlffli gear running at the same rate, pro­ viding, of course, that it is quite under the control of the rider. Many riders, however, contend that the high gear is always more under control under any circumstance*.

The Hill Manufacturing Company advls* us that they will get out a daily edition of "The Fowler Truth" at the Chicago Cycle Show, at'.d would do so at tlie \c\v York Cycle Show, would they penult it. Mr. J. M. Irwin. better known as "Wil­ liam Twinkle," will have charge of thn pupcr-for the week. The uaper will consist of four pages, ami the front page will ha devoted to np-to-date news and daily hap­ penings. An artist is now at work, getting up some interesting cartoons, and a num­ ber of articles are being prepared by prom­ inent people- in the trade, which will give the paper additional interest. This will be distributed free.

Tho confirmed pessimist generally acts as a powerful brake on the wheels of progress in any sphere in which he may be able to exert his unhappy influence. He ivj to be found in many of our clubs. He Is a near relative of the party who "sees no good of such a proposal," and wno is always first in the case of a par­ tial failure to exclaim, "I told you so!" Anything savoring of originality, any boU? scheme, or anything out of tlie beaten track, at once meets with his unmitigated scorn of acrid criticism. Whatever does not commend itself to his way of thinking, not his ideas the fact being lie is usu'illy destitute of these receives his immediate disapproval. Mark, there is a bro.vl dis­ tinction between pessimism and caution the latter is necessary and benenvial, th« former is nnneccss.iry and chilling.

$8,OOO a Year.near Readers: While shifting from place

to place through the West Keeking employ­ ment I made Uie acquaintance of an agent who claimed to be making IfKOCAt a year selling Rapid lllsh Washers. He very kindly gave me the address of W. P. Har- rison & Co., of Columbus, Ohio. I sine* took tlie agency, and find the Rapid Ulsh, Washer perfect. Washes dishes in half minute; a wonderful seller; from tho lie- winning I have made from $4 to $1- per day. Wliy can't anyone do the same?

UA'li AiltlllOA.