Death, Dying & Death, Dying & GrievingGrieving

What is death?What is death?

Death is defined as “the end of life; Death is defined as “the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an all the vital functions of an organism”organism”

We all know it is inevitable but the We all know it is inevitable but the way we approach it varies from way we approach it varies from person to person, culture to culture.person to person, culture to culture.

Facing death with dignity and Facing death with dignity and openness helps people complete the openness helps people complete the life cycle with a sense of life’s life cycle with a sense of life’s meaningfulness and unity…the sense meaningfulness and unity…the sense that their existence has been good that their existence has been good and that life and death are parts of and that life and death are parts of an ongoing cycle. (Myers)an ongoing cycle. (Myers)

Fear of deathFear of death

Not as common as you think.Not as common as you think.

4 % of people directly fear dying.4 % of people directly fear dying.

Older people fear the circumstance of Older people fear the circumstance of dying such as pain or helplessness.dying such as pain or helplessness.

So how does one come to terms if one So how does one come to terms if one knows its comingknows its coming

Reactions to Impending Reactions to Impending DeathDeath

Denial and isolationDenial and isolation Anger- “Why me?”Anger- “Why me?” Bargaining – “Let me live a little Bargaining – “Let me live a little

longer and I’ll do anything”longer and I’ll do anything” DepressionDepression AcceptanceAcceptance Not all go through these stages….Not all go through these stages….

Life is affirmed at death.Life is affirmed at death.

Erick Erikson said that people who Erick Erikson said that people who view life with “integrity” have a view life with “integrity” have a feeling that one’s life has been feeling that one’s life has been meaningful and worthwhile.meaningful and worthwhile.

Therefore death is not viewed with Therefore death is not viewed with despair but acceptance.despair but acceptance.

What is grieving?What is grieving?

Bereavement is the loss of a Bereavement is the loss of a relative/friend.relative/friend.

Make a person feel vulnerable and Make a person feel vulnerable and can change one’s views on the world can change one’s views on the world and future.and future.

Grieving is to feel grief or great Grieving is to feel grief or great sorrow. sorrow.

Grief has different stages:Grief has different stages: Shock-emotional numbnessShock-emotional numbness Pangs of shock-episodes of painful Pangs of shock-episodes of painful

yearning for the dead person. Might yearning for the dead person. Might include episodes of angerinclude episodes of anger

Apathy-listlessnessApathy-listlessness Dejection-demoralizationDejection-demoralization Depression-deep despondencyDepression-deep despondency

Grievers at first will view life as less Grievers at first will view life as less meaningfulmeaningful

Usually lasts 2-3 weeks Usually lasts 2-3 weeks But insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of But insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of

energy might continueenergy might continue Once the idea that nothing can be Once the idea that nothing can be

changed the person learns to changed the person learns to change.change.

When a person changes, this is When a person changes, this is known as resolution. The accept and known as resolution. The accept and begin to rebuild their life.begin to rebuild their life.

The way one grieves varies…The way one grieves varies…depends on personality, relationship depends on personality, relationship of deceased, and nature of death.of deceased, and nature of death.

Is it true that suppressing grief Is it true that suppressing grief causes more problems later?causes more problems later?

No…No…

Some cultures encourage public weeping Some cultures encourage public weeping and wailingand wailing

Others hide grief.Others hide grief.

But those who are more open with their But those who are more open with their grieving don’t necessarily heal faster.grieving don’t necessarily heal faster.

So how should you approach grief?So how should you approach grief?

Coping with griefCoping with grief

Acknowledge and accept the person Acknowledge and accept the person is goneis gone

Face the loss directly and do not Face the loss directly and do not isolate yourselfisolate yourself

Discuss your feelingsDiscuss your feelings Do not block out your feelingsDo not block out your feelings Allow grief processAllow grief process Honor the memory of deceasedHonor the memory of deceased

Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but with the passage of time the pain of with the passage of time the pain of loss does lessen. ( Reif, Patton, & loss does lessen. ( Reif, Patton, & Gold, 1995).Gold, 1995).

Which do you think is easier to Which do you think is easier to grieve: a sudden death or a death grieve: a sudden death or a death that was predicted?that was predicted?