Dear third world employee who packaged my fluorescent light kit,

I’m sure you’ll never read this because it’s in English but chances are you can’t read your own language

because you don’t have the equivalent of a second grade education or electricity let alone a computer.

Anyway, there is a reason the boss tells you to put 2 of each piece of hardware in the kit. It’s so when an

AMERICAN who is installing the light at 9:00 can complete the job in the fifteen minutes it takes to do

so. When you screw up and only put one piece of the hardware kit in the box I have only two options. I

can to return the light to the store and hope the goat herding idiot next to you can count two or

whatever you call it in mud hut land. Or I can improvise and correct the situation myself. I took option

two, why? It’s too late to take it back since I was 99% done when I found your mistake. Now thank God I

received an AMERICAN education with some vocational training while I was there because well I was too

stupid to take Chemistry, Algebra and Physics. Too stupid yet I cleaned up your mess didn’t I?

My point is, despite the fact that I received minimal education I still worked around your mistake,

improvised and finished the job because of good old fashioned AMERICAN ingenuity. (Are you noticing a

pattern with the capital letters, probably not?) Just ask your goat to help you read it.

This is why in twenty years; you’ll still have goats sleeping in the living room of your mud hut and selling

off your preteen daughters to the highest bidder. Some day when your kids look up to you and asks

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?” You’ll have no frigging clue and tell them some bullshit story about the

Sun God and the Earth mother getting married and that’s why the sky is blue. You Third world idiot, I

hope you enjoy that meal of rice and lizard entrails. Me, I just had a steak, you know from a cow. Then

again maybe you don’t.

Arrogant Americans? No, AMERICANS, we get shit done and done right.