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Appendix A: DANCE Cards A.3

© 2017 The Regents of the University of Colorado, a body corporate. All rights reserved. DANCE STEPS Handbook – Version 4.0 (04/2017)

DANCE Cards Reference Guide

Dimensions (worded on the

DANCE)

Dimensions (worded for

clients)

Behavior (worded on the DANCE)

Behavior (worded for the client)

Emotional Quality

Sharing Emotions

Expressed Positive Affect Showing Positive Emotions

Caregiver’s Affect Complements Child’s Affect

Supporting Child Emotions

Verbal Quality Offering Positive Comments (includes

respectful comments to child)

Response to Distress Staying Calm

Negative Comments About the Child to Others

Talking to Others

Sensitivity and Responsivity

Sensitivity and Responsivity

Positioning Staying Close

Visual Engagement Sharing Focus

Positive Touch Providing Supportive and Positive Touch

Pacing Keeping Pace and Taking Turns

Non-Intrusiveness Helping Your Child Lead

Responsiveness Being Responsive

Regulation Learning the Rules

Limit Setting Setting Limits

Completes Interactions Helping Transitions

Promotion of Developmental Growth

Supporting Development

Supports Exploration Supporting Exploration

Scaffolding Supporting Learning

Verbal Connectedness Verbally Connecting

Praise Offering Praise

Negative Verbal Content Avoiding Criticism



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Showing

Positive Emotions

Supporting

Child Emotions

Offering

Positive Comments Staying Calm Talking to Others

● Your smiles are

teaching your child to

have fun with people.

● Showing interest in

your child helps both

of you stay

connected.

● How does it feel

when your child

smiles at you?

● Sometimes your

child needs your

help to bring

his/her emotions up

or down.

● Your voice and words

are one way to show

love to your child.

● How you say things to

your child are as

important as what you

say.

● How do you stay

calm when your child

is upset?

● What things do you

share about your child

with others?

SHARING EMOTIONS



Showing Positive Emotions

● “It makes me happy to see you smile

at me.”

● “When you are interested in me, it

helps me pay attention.”

Supporting Child Emotions

● “I love it when you smile

with me.”

● “Sometimes I need your help

to bring my emotions up or

down.”

Offering Positive Comments

● “Your kind and cheerful words make

me feel good.”

Talking to Others

● “It makes me proud when you

say good things about me to

others.”

● “I wonder what you say about

me to others.”

SHARING EMOTIONS – from your child

Staying Calm

“When I am upset, it helps me calm

down when you stay calm.”



Staying Close

Sharing Focus

Being Responsive

● It is easier

to know

when your

child needs

you when you

can see and

hear

him/her.

● When you are

focused on

what your child

is interested in,

you can help

him/her learn.

● Children love to

share eye

contact with

their parents.

Providing

Supportive and

Positive Touch

Keeping Pace

and Taking

Turns

Helping Your

Child Lead

● How do you

let your child

lead and how

do you follow

along?

● How do you

show your

child you are

there for

him/her?

● How does your

child feel when

you touch

him/her in a

gentle and

tender way?

● What does

your child learn

from gentle and

tender touch?

● How fast or

slow does

your child like

to go?

● How are you

teaching your

child about

taking turns?

● Did you know

children are born

leaders?

● Everyone,

including your

child, needs

his/her space.

● How do you

support your

child’s interests,

thoughts, ideas,

and beliefs?

SENSITIVITY & RESPONSIVITY



Staying Close

● “Can you see me?”

● “How do you know if I

need you?”

Sharing Focus

● “What do you see when you

look at me and the things I

am interested in?”

● “I love seeing your face.”

Helping Me Lead

● “How do you respect my need for

space?”

● “I like it when you let me choose

what we are doing.”

● “I am not always ready to do the

things you want me to do.”

Being Responsive

● “I like it when you let me lead

and you follow along.”

● “It makes me feel safe when I

feel you are there for me.”

Keeping Pace and

Taking Turns

● “How fast or slow do I

like to go?”

● “I like to learn about

taking turns.”

SENSITIVITY & RESPONSIVITY – from your child

Providing Supportive and Positive Touch

● “I enjoy being gently rocked and

stroked.”

● “I like feeling safe when you hold and

move me.”



Setting Limits

Helping Transitions

● How do you set rules

for your child?

● How do you help your child move

from one thing to the next?

● Did you know children can get

confused when they don’t know

what is happening next?

LEARNING THE RULES



Helping Transitions

“Letting me know when

things are done and we are

moving on helps me stay

calm and get ready for the

next thing.”

“It helps me to know when

you are going to leave for a

bit.”

Setting Limits

“How do you teach me the

rules?”

“I feel safe when I know

the rules.”

LEARNING THE RULES – from your child



Supporting

Exploration

Supporting Learning

Avoiding Criticism

● How do you help

your child safely

and fully explore

the things

he/she is

interested in?

● How do you help

your child take an

activity or task one-

step further?

Connecting

Verbally

Sharing Praise

● How do you let your

child know he/she is

doing a good job?

● What is criticism?

● What effect does

criticism have on

people?

● Your words help

your child learn

language and turn

taking.

● Your words help

your child learn

that you are there

for him/her.

SUPPORTING DEVELOPMENT



Connecting Verbally

“Your words help me stay

connected to you.”

Sharing Praise

“How do you tell me I am

doing a good job?”

Supporting Exploration

“I learn a lot when you let

me explore the things I am

interested in.”

Avoiding Criticism

“It doesn’t feel good to be

criticized.”

Supporting Learning

“I like it when you start

where I am at and take it

one-step further.”

SUPPORTING DEVELOPMENT – from your child

Appendix E: Supporting Areas of Strength E.1


Appendix E

Supporting

Areas of

Strength



DANCE STEPS Feedback: Supporting Clients’ Areas of Strength *To be used with client handout: What My Child Says or Parenting Positives*

Behavior (worded for DANCE)

Behavior (worded for clients)

Comments: “Mom, you are great at . . .”

Em

otio

na

l Qu

ality

Expressed Positive

Affect

Showing Positive

Emotions Sharing smiles with me.

Showing you are interested in me and the things I am doing

to keep us connected.

Caregiver’s Affect

Complements

Child’s Affect

Supporting Child

Emotions Teaching me about positive emotions.

Helping to bring my emotions up or down when needed.

Having fun with me.

Verbal Quality

Offering Positive

Comments Using kind and cheerful words to make me feel good.

Response to

Distress

Staying Calm Staying calm when I am upset.

Negative

Comments About

the Child to Others

Talking to Others Making me feel proud when you tell others good things about

me.

Sen

sitivity

an

d R

espo

nsiv

ity

Positioning Staying Close Being close enough to see and hear me.

Visual Engagement

Sharing Focus Watching me and the things I am interested in

Making eye contact with me.

Connecting with me when you look at my face.

Positive Touch

Providing Supportive

and Positive Touch Touching me in a kind and gentle way.

Helping me feel safe when you touch and move me.

Pacing Keeping Pace and

Taking Turns Keeping the right pace for me when we are together.

Teaching me about taking turns.

Non-Intrusiveness

Helping Your Child

Lead Respecting my need for space.

Supporting my interests, thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.

Responsiveness

Being Responsive Letting me lead and following along.

Being there for me.

Reg

ula

tion

Limit Setting

Setting Limits Teaching me the rules.

Setting rules for me.

Completes

Interactions

Helping Transitions Letting me know when things are done and we are moving

onto something else.

Helping me understand what is coming next.

Pro

mo

tion

of

Dev

elop

men

tal G

row

th

Supports

Exploration

Supporting

Exploration Letting me explore the things I am interested in.

Giving me safe and fun places to explore

Scaffolding Supporting Learning Starting where I am at and taking things one step further.

Verbal

Connectedness

Connecting Verbally Using your words to help me stay connected with you.

Using your words to teach me language.

Using your words to show me you are there for me.

Praise

Sharing Praise Telling me when I do a good job.

Negative Verbal

Content

Avoiding Criticism Telling me when I do a good job.

Sharing kind and cheerful words with me.



What My Child Says . . .

Mom, you are great at:



Mom, you are

great at:

What my child says . . .



And it would help me a lot if you:

Mom, you are

great at:




*Sample*

Using kind and cheerful words to make me feel

good.

Making me feel proud when you tell others good things about me.

And it would help me a lot if you:

Used your words to show me you are there for me and to help me stay connected with you.

Mom, you are

great at:




What My Child Says




*Sample*

Being close enough to see and hear me.

Watching me and the things I am interested in.

Touching me in a kind and gentle way.

Keeping the right pace for me when we are together.

Respecting my need for space.

Letting me lead and following along.

What My Child Says




Parenting Positives



Parenting Positives

Here’s some other things that would help your child:

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