cyanide kills rats
DESCRIPTION
Two children find themselves being raised by an alcoholic stepfather.TRANSCRIPT
Created by Rich Eubanks
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Created by Rich Eubanks
Prologue
“Oh, Kay, I’m going to miss you so much. Now you be
sure to write me every week. Promise?” Ann held back tears
that were begging to come out as she spoke.
Ann just really didn’t want her favorite granddaughter
to move away. She and little Kay had become so close in
eight years. Larry had actually been her first grandchild
and she had been so excited when he was born, but when a
year later Kay was born, she couldn’t help feeling a little
closer to her. Kay was just special. Not only because she
was her namesake, Kay was actually named Karen Ann, Karen
after her paternal aunt, and Ann, after her. She was
nicknamed K.A. at first, but then it was spoken simply as
Kay. So to Ann, Kay was just a very special and beautiful
little girl.
“Grandma, I don’t want to go. Can I stay here with you
and Grandpa?”
“I would love for you to, Sweetie, but I don’t think
your parents would like that at all. Now give me a great
big kiss and remember that I’m only a phone call away. I
love you, Sweetie.”
Larry had already kissed his grandparents goodbye and
was waiting by the car ready to go. He loved his
grandparents very much but he was excited about the move.
He just couldn’t understand girls. Why was Kay being so
silly?
After all, they were moving to the neatest town he’d
ever seen. When they’d all visited a few weeks ago, he just
couldn’t believe what a lucky kid he was. They’d not only
have a great big house and he and Kay would even have their
own rooms with their own bathrooms, but they were also going
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to have ten acres of huge trees. It would be the first time
they hadn’t lived in apartments and he just wanted to hurry
and get there and start building the tree house that he and
his dad had talked about. Larry just wanted to get going.
“Janie,” Ann, still holding onto Kay with one arm,
reached for her daughter as she spoke in a very serious
tone, “promise me that you’ll come home for Christmas.”
“Mom, you know Tom said we would. And you also know
that if he said it, then we will. It’s only a few months
from now.”
“I know it’s only a few months but your father and I
are sure going to be lonesome without you all.” Ann’s voice
was starting to fail as she spoke.
Janie then turned and kissed her father goodbye. Tom
hugged Ann and shook Bob’s, his father-in-law’s, hand. Then
they pulled Kay to the car where Larry had been impatiently
waiting.
Even after they were all in the car Larry thought it
would take forever to get out of the driveway. Every time
his dad moved the car a few feet someone would think of
something else to say and his dad would have to stop the car
for someone to finish a sentence. Larry was sure glad when
they finally got out of sight of his grandparents’ house.
Larry’s mom and sister were in the back seat. His mom
was holding Kay in her arms because Kay was crying like a
baby.
He and his dad were in the front seat not saying a
word, but they both seemed very happy that they were finally
on the way.
Tom had spent the last ten years working for this day.
He’d met Janie in high school and they’d gotten married
right after graduation. At first he’d planned on going full
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time to college but the extra expenses of Larry’s arrival
that first year of marriage kept him from it. He and Janie
had decided they wanted to have children and felt like they
should try to have them while they were still young, which
they did, but it kept him from going to college until the
kids were both in school so Janie could work. It’d really
been a struggle and they couldn’t have done it without the
help of Bob and Ann. But now they were on their way. He’d
finally made it. No more cheap apartments. He was so eager
to get to his first real job. He knew he would be the best
design engineer that company had ever had.
It was over a hundred miles to the interstate highway.
Nobody had been talking and Janie and Kay were both asleep
in the back seat by the time the car was on the interstate
and the car’s cruise control was set.
“Are you going to miss Springfield, Larry?” Tom broke
the long silence as he relaxed, leaned back in his seat, and
looked at his son sitting in the passenger seat beside him.
“A little bit, I guess, Dad, but I’m sure looking
forward to get to our new home. Are you going to have time
to help me build the tree house right away?” Larry’s eyes
lit up as he finished.
“I’ll make the time. I know how important it is to
you.” Tom smiled as he thought back to when he was the age
Larry is now. “I remember when I was your age. I was going
to build one with a couple of friends of mine but never got
around to it.”
“Why not?” Larry sounded sincerely interested and
looked at his dad as he spoke.
“Well, the summer we were going to build it I had to
move and never had another chance.” Tom let it drop there
thinking that his son probably wasn’t that interested.
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“Where were you living then, Daddy?” Larry immediately
came back.
“I lived in a town named Glendale until I was your age.
Then we moved to Fairmont, a town in the same state but
quite a ways apart.” Tom looked at his son, surprised at
his young son’s interest.
“Did you live in a nice house with a lot of trees?”
Larry was smiling as he asked this, thinking of the trees on
the acreage waiting for him.
“It was a nice house but the trees were in a nearby
field where we were going to build our tree house.”
“What were your parents like, Daddy?”
“My parents, your grandparents, were really great
people, Larry. I guess I’ve never really talked very much
about them, but they were great people that you would
certainly have loved.” Tom looked at his son, smiled, and
added, “And they’d certainly have loved you too.”
“What happened to them, Daddy?” Larry hesitated,
afraid he might be stepping out of bounds before he
continued. “How did they die?”
“Do you really want to know, Larry?” Tom looked into
his son’s eyes to see if this was just idle chat or if the
boy really wanted to know. “It’s really a long story. Are
you sure you want to hear about it now?”
Larry could tell that his dad was troubled but he’d
wondered about the grandparents he’d only known through
family picture albums for a long time. And he’d also
wondered why his Aunt Karen had been in that hospital for so
long. He’d never said anything but he was really curious
what had happened to cause his Aunt to have so many mental
problems. He knew it had to be something really bad and as
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much as he didn’t want to upset his father he did want to
know all about it.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind telling me,” Larry looked at
his Dad’s reaction before he finished, “I’d really like to
know.”
“Well, your grandparents were both killed.” Tom
blurted it out as though it’d been something he’d been
laboring to keep in for years.
Larry didn’t respond. His dad was almost in tears just
thinking about it and Larry felt badly about asking in the
first place.
They drove in silence for quite a while, both simply
watching the white lines of the interstate move steadily
past the car, before anything else was spoken. Larry was
really starting to feel sorry that he’d brought it up at
all.
“Larry,” Tom finally broke the silence after he had
regained his composure and thoughts, “you have every right
to know what happened. After all, they were your family
too, even though you never met them. Kay is still a little
young but you’re old enough to know.”
As the miles of interstate highway passed behind them
Larry, for the first time, began hearing from his dad the
tragic story of his Aunt Karen’s and his dad’s childhood.
Chapter One
“Your Aunt Karen hadn’t really been old enough to
remember our dad,” Tom began explaining to his son. “I can
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remember him since I was already eight when he was killed in
the plane crash. I guess there’s a big of difference
between eight and four because when we talk about what he
was like, she only asks questions. To me he’s a fond memory
but to your Aunt Karen he was just a vague dream
“My mother was devastated when we heard. I don’t think
Karen and I would’ve been quite that upset if it hadn’t been
for Mother’s absolute grief. The funeral was one of the
most confusing times of my life. I don’t guess I was old
enough to really understand what was happening. I remember
looking into the grave and being scared. It wasn’t really
as though Daddy were there to me, but I knew something was
terribly wrong. By all of the talk the night before by my
Dad’s relatives, I felt something was going to happen at the
graveyard but I didn’t know what. My dad’s family belonged
to a very unusual religious group and they can tend to be
frightening at occasions like that. I’ll never forget the
spooky moaning.”
“Were you scared, Daddy?”
“Well, maybe a little, Larry.” Tom had been so
much into his own thoughts that he’d almost forgotten whom
he was telling the story to. “But mostly just nervous and
confused.”
“What religion were they?” Larry had never heard about
that part of his family and was genuinely curious now.
“Were they a cult or something?”
“Oh, they’re really not that bad,” Tom realized that he
might have gone a little too far and didn’t want his son to
think any religion was wrong or bad just because of the way
they preferred to worship, “it’s just that they acted
different from what I was used to.”
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Tom couldn’t help but notice how intently Larry
was watching him. He was glad, in a way, that he could
finally tell his son this part of their heritage. As Tom
looked back toward the long interstate highway ahead, he
began to speak again, remembering and sharing his childhood.
It was as much as though he were telling himself as telling
his son.
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*****
It took a while before my Mom got back to, sort of,
normal. We were in total turmoil for several months. When
we finally moved from our house poor little Karen cried
through the whole move. That house was all that Karen and I
had known. I remember my Uncle Charlie asking Mom why she
was so intent on moving from such a nice house where her
kids felt so safe. He’d told her that it wasn’t fair to us
kids, to upset our lives even more right then. But Mom said
she just couldn’t bear to stay where she and Tom had shared
so many memories. She wanted to get away and try to get her
life back together. After all, she was just twenty-eight
and she thought she would use some of the insurance money to
go to school and try to become an accountant. There was
plenty of money for now, but with two children it could
never be enough to last forever.
We moved to a middle-sized town with a university and
found a nice house with a swimming pool for Karen and me. I
think the novelty of a swimming pool made Karen quickly
forget our problems. I enjoyed it too but I sure missed all
of my buddies at the other school I had attending. My
friends and I had planned to build our tree house by a creek
that ran near our homes in Glendale, the town I moved from.
I remember my friend Jimmy saying that he and Barry would
come to visit, but I think we all three knew that we were
saying goodbye forever. I sure missed those guys that first
summer.
Karen would have neighborhood friends over to our pool
when Mother would let her, but I didn’t really try to make
new friends. I just kept hoping we’d be going back to visit
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Dad’s family in Glendale and I could see Jimmy and Barry
again. But we never did.
I did make one friend that summer though. Mr. Barton
lived next door to us. He was a really nice man and he was
always working on something in his garage. He wasn’t
married, and he worked the evening shift at the bicycle
factory near town. I remember I was sitting in our front
yard, not long after we moved there, watching him when he
came out of his house and he smiled and asked me my name. I
told him my name was Tommy and he said his was Larry Barton.
Although he always told me to just call him Larry, I still
said Mr. Barton. After all, he was about my mother’s age.
He explained that he was a design engineer and what that
was. He said he enjoyed experimenting with new things and
was always making something in his garage when he wasn’t at
work. He showed me his garage and all his neat equipment
and tools and asked if I’d like to help him work. We spent
that summer making a go-cart out of an old riding lawn
mower. I really liked working with him. He was the
smartest man I’d ever met and I couldn’t wait to get to ride
that go-cart.
The day we finished it he drove it first. I watched as
he went down the street to the dead-end and back up to his
house. My heart was pounding with anticipation as I
watched. He really looked funny with his knees sticking
straight up because he was much too large for that little
go-cart.
“Well, it seems safe enough, but I think it needs a
license.” Mr. Barton smiled at me, then he continued.
“When’s your birthday, Tommy?”
We painted the license number on the little tag, my
birthday 7-24, and he asked me if I’d like to take it on its
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first official drive. I got in and he showed me the
controls, but I was so nervous that I got it all wrong and
took off at full throttle with the steering wheel the wrong
way. It didn’t turn over because he caught me, but my
mother had been watching. She came running toward us and
was screaming at Mr. Barton.
“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” She
sounded really mad and then screamed again. “Tommy is only
nine years old and not ready to be driving a contraption
like that!”
Mr. Barton said that he was sorry he hadn’t checked
with her first but that it was actually very safe. He only
needed to teach me the controls better. He also took the
opportunity to introduce himself to my mom.
“Hi, I’m Larry Barton and Tommy has told me that your
name is Susan. I’m pleased to finally meet you. I’ve
noticed you several times and…”
He’d been holding out his hand for her but she not only
didn’t offer him hers, she stopped him mid-sentence.
“Mr. Barton, I appreciate you spending time with Tommy
but I don’t appreciate you risking his life with this
contraption! I lost my husband and I don’t want to lose my
son!”
I looked at Mr. Barton apologetically as Mother dragged
me back to our house. I surely wanted to drive that go-
cart, but now it was going to be impossible. I tried to
explain to Mom but she just didn’t want to hear me.
I still visited Mr. Barton in his garage occasionally,
but it wasn’t the same. He told me that he would park the
go-cart and it would be mine when my mom said it was all
right to have it. Mr. Barton tried so hard to be friendly
to Mom, but she didn’t want any part of him after that.
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When it was time for school to start that year
everything was so busy. Mother had enrolled in college and
she had to get Karen started in kindergarten and me enrolled
in the fifth grade at the new school. I remember how
worried Mom was that she’d be at school too. And the school
might not be able to call her if something was wrong with
Karen. I hated the thought of having to hang around the
little kids but I told Mom I would watch out for Karen
anyway.
I couldn’t believe we had to ride a bus to a school
that wasn’t any farther from home than the school in
Glendale had been. In Glendale I could ride my bicycle even
in kindergarten. But Mom said that in a larger town, like
Fairmont, it was much too dangerous and, besides, she wanted
me to ride with Karen. I just knew that everyone would make
fun of me, but when I got on the bus that first morning I
noticed that all of the kids, even much older ones from the
neighborhood were also getting on, so I felt a little
better. I sure wished that I’d been riding my bike with
Jimmy and Barry though. And going to my old school.
After a few weeks things did settle down and get back
to normal. Every morning before Karen and I would catch the
bus to school, Mom would kiss us goodbye and get in the car
to go to her first class at the university. We got home a
little before Mom every day, and I had talked Mom into
letting us stay there instead of having to go to the after
school program. She’d been real hesitant but Mr. Barton and
I talked to Mom about how he didn’t go to work until well
after she got home, and he said he’d be happy to watch out
for us every day until she got there. Mr. Barton still
liked Mom even though she was mean to him.
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I asked Mom once if she thought Mr. Barton was nice.
She said that he was a good-looking man, but she didn’t care
for something about him, even though she didn’t really know
what it was. I think I would have liked it if she had been
friendlier to him. He was really good to me, and Karen
seemed to like him too. His friendship sure meant a lot to
me back then.
That first semester went by pretty fast. I remember
when the Christmas break came and we all three got our
report cards, and how we compared grades. Mother won! She
was so happy to have her first semester out of the way, and
we were all having so much fun until we started getting out
the Christmas stuff. Everything we’d get out reminded us of
Daddy and we wound up crying the whole time we were putting
things up.
The second semester went by, and I still hadn’t made
any close friends even though I played with some of the boys
at recess every day. When summer finally came, Mr. Barton
helped me get onto a little league baseball team. Mother
was going to summer school full time and had gotten a lady
to come over and watch Karen. Her name was Miss, and she
didn’t like to be called ‘Mrs.’, Evans. I didn’t really
like her that much. All she did was lie around the pool and
sun bathe. She was younger than Mom and real, real skinny.
She was so skinny that I wondered if she was sick. And to
top that off she would never eat anything because she said
it would make her fatter. The worst thing about her was
that she was always trying to talk to, and get close to, Mr.
Barton whenever he was around. I hated the way she smiled
at him and the way she was always trying to get so close to
him. She started wearing bathing suits that were too skimpy
and she found every reason in the world to come over to his
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garage, most of the time saying she was just checking on me.
Whenever she came over it was as though I weren’t even
there. I always made a point of trying to talk to Mr.
Barton about how skinny she was, and how weird she was.
He’d always tell me that she was just a kid, and he thought
she was a little thin but cute. I’d always ask him if he
thought Mom was cute, and he’d always answer that my mother
was a very pretty lady. I guessed that meant the mean girls
are cute and the really nice girls are pretty.
I was surely glad when summer school was over, and Miss
Evans wasn’t around anymore. At baseball we had one game
left, and Mom and Karen were going to go with Mr. Barton and
me. I didn’t do very well that day. I’d spent all my time
watching them sitting together instead of paying attention
to the game. I was really feeling a little embarrassed but
they didn’t seem to notice how poorly I’d played. It was
nice seeing Mr. Barton and Mom talking and laughing
together.
After the game we went for pizza and I did my best to
keep Karen busy so Mom and Mr. Barton could talk some more.
We all had a really good time and I was so excited that Mr.
Barton and Mom were getting along so well. Within a week
she let me ride the go-cart.
The rest of that summer went by fast and it seemed that
everywhere we went, Mr. Barton would go. I asked Mom if she
like Mr. Barton and she told me that she liked him for a
friend, and that he was a very good neighbor.
Well, I guess that was a start, but I knew that Mr.
Barton really liked her. He was always asking me things
about her. After every time we went somewhere, he would ask
me what she had said about him afterwards. Things were
really going great!
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When school started back, things got busy again. We
didn’t go places with Mr. Barton as much as we had during
the summer. When Mr. Barton would suggest going somewhere,
Mother would always tell him that she had to study. I
talked Mom into asking him over for Christmas though. He’d
told me that he usually went to his family’s gathering, but
this year he couldn’t go out of state because of his work.
They were just so busy this year at the factory that he
couldn’t get enough time off. Mother had been reluctant,
but agreed when Karen said that she would also like for him
to come over.
It was really the best day I remember since Daddy had
died. Mr. Barton was already there when I woke up Christmas
morning. He and Mom were drinking coffee in the den when I
came down the stairs, and right there under the tree was the
best bicycle in the world. They said it was from both of
them together. I sure liked the bike, and I think I liked
them saying “them together” even more!
It wasn’t even light out but I rolled it out onto the
driveway and just sat on my new bike. I couldn’t believe it
was mine. I wished I had Jimmy and Barry there to show it
off to. After it got light enough to see I left the drive
and just kept going around and around the block. It was
almost time to eat when I finally got tired and came back to
the house.
Mother looked happier than I’d seen her in a long time.
When I walked in Karen was playing with her new doll and
Mother and Mr. Barton were sitting in the kitchen still
drinking coffee and laughing. It was the first I could
remember hearing her call him Larry.
Dinner was great and afterwards I took off on my bike
again. It was almost dark when I got back and I was so
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tired I fell asleep on the couch. Karen had gone upstairs
to bed and it was fairly quiet except for the stereo. When
I woke up and opened my eyes, I got the best Christmas
surprise of all. Mr. Barton and Mom were dancing real close.
I pretended to still be asleep but I kept watching them and
for the first time I thought of how great it would be if Mr.
Barton were to be my dad. Between songs they went to the
kitchen to get another glass of wine and I went up to bed.
I sure slept well that night.
After Christmas they started going places alone
together and leaving us with Miss Evans. As much as I
didn’t like Miss Evans, I was glad they were getting along
so well. Whenever I brought it up, Mother would still
insist that they were just friends. But, I could tell Mom
didn’t care for it when Miss Evans would flirt with Mr.
Barton.
“Mr. Barton was really a good friend, Larry, and I know
he’s one of the main reasons that I made it through those
years.” I looked at my son sitting, listening so intently
to what I’d been saying and continued, “In fact, he’s the
one I named you after,” I could see the cute smile begin to
spread across my son’s face as I spoke, “he’s your
namesake.”
Chapter Two
“Hi, Jim, come on in,” Mom said as she led the young
man through the hall and into the den where Karen and I were
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sitting. “Jim, this is my daughter Karen,” Mom smiled as
she held her hand and pointed toward Karen and then motioned
to me and added, “and my son Tommy.”
The man smiled broadly and winked at Karen and said,
“You’re going to be just as cute as your mother when you
grow up.” He then, without warning, stepped over to me and
squeezing my arm so hard it hurt said, “and, Johnny, you
sure are a big kid, I’ll bet nobody gives you any trouble at
school.”
Then he made an obnoxious noise that sounded more like
a pig grunting than a laugh.
“My name is Tommy,” I corrected him and went right back
to the book I’d been studying.
I already didn’t like this man.
“Mr. Randall is teaching my psychology class and
offered to help me study. He’s going to school too, like
us, but wants to be a professor someday at the college.”
Mom and the man went into the kitchen and laid out
their books on the table.
“Would you like something to drink, Jim? I have
lemonade made or I can make some coffee if you’d like.” Mom
was walking to the refrigerator as she spoke.
Jim did his stupid imitation of a pig grunting again.
“Sweetheart, we aren’t in class now, don’t you have any
adult drinks?”
Mom, being caught a little off guard, nervously looked
in the refrigerator.
“I think I have a few beers, if that’s okay?”
“That’ll be great,” the pig-man answered and grunted
again.
Mom fixed herself a glass of water and, before they
even got started studying, the three beers were nothing more
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than recyclable aluminum. I wasn’t really reading my
geography book anymore. The man talked so loudly that I
couldn’t concentrate anyway. I didn’t like how he was
talking to Mom one little bit. He was a little younger than
she was, and, he had a real smart-mouth. I knew Mom
wouldn’t like him either. I’d bet that she was as eager for
him to leave as I was.
The next morning I went to Larry’s garage to work with
him.
“Mom had a guy over last night to study with.” I
looked at Larry to see what his reaction would be then
added, “I didn’t like him at all!”
“Yeah, I know,” Larry answered without looking up from
what he was doing, “he’s a graduate assistant at the
college.” Larry noticed my questioning look and explained,
“A Grad Assistant, or G.A., is a student who’s finished
their first degree and is paid to help teach while they get
another degree.” After he could tell I understood he added,
“Your mom is having trouble with psychology and he’s helping
her.” Larry then looked at me straight in the eyes and
asked. “Why didn’t you like him, Tommy?”
“He kept calling her ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Babe’ and he
wasn’t very nice to me,” I spoke sarcastically and made a
disgusted look as I continued, “and besides, he wasn’t even
being very nice to her either.”
“Well, I’m sure your mom just wants to study with him
so she can make a good grade in her class.” Larry looked
back down at his work and I could tell he didn’t want to
continue this conversation.
We got to working on a model airplane that we’d been
making and soon had forgotten all about Jim Randall. Larry
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was my best friend I guess. He always had something
interesting and fun to do.
It was Saturday and that evening Larry was going to
come over for dinner. When he got there he winked at me
before turning to Mom.
“Tommy said that your date with the professor went
pretty well last night.”
He was smiling but it quickly faded when we all noticed
that Mom didn’t smile back.
“Jim Randall is a very intelligent young man. He is a
graduate assistant at twenty-two years old and will probably
be the youngest full professor the college has ever had. I
only wish that other people around here could be as
ambitious as he is!”
I couldn’t believe how she’d come down on Larry that
way. I also couldn’t believe how she could stand up for
that jerk! I knew she’d hurt Larry’s feelings and it got
really quiet for a few minutes and then remained
uncomfortably tense until time to eat.
Larry told her he was only kidding and kept trying to
change the subject but all through dinner that night Mom
kept talking about school and Jim Randall! Larry didn’t say
much at first but I guess he finally got fed up.
“If this Jim Randall is so great then why didn’t you
invite him over to dinner instead of me?”
“Well, next time I just might!” Mom spoke with a scowl
on her face. “I’m sure he would be a lot more enjoyable
company!”
There wasn’t another word spoken by any of us and as
soon as we finished eating, Larry said he needed to be
getting home without even offering to help with the dishes,
which he’d always done before.
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After he left I told Mom that I thought she had hurt
Larry’s feelings, and she said that she didn’t care. If he
couldn’t understand that she was in college to improve her
self then he wasn’t really a friend anyway. And, she could
have other friends, too, without his approval.
I went to bed but couldn’t sleep. I’d thought that Mom
and Larry were more than friends and I knew that Larry had
thought the same thing. I’d seen them kissing several times
and Larry was always giving Mom flowers and things. Why
had Mom talked to Larry that way? Why had Mom taken sides
with that jerk Jim? I couldn’t help crying a little and
when I finally went to sleep I had a bad dream about Daddy.
He was in a lake drowning and was too far out for me to
swim and try to help him. Mom and that Jim were laughing
and talking and wouldn’t listen to him calling for help. I
tried to tell them but Jim just started his stupid pig-laugh
and was poking me in the stomach and saying that I was too
nervous. Mom told me that Jim knew what he was talking
about and that Daddy would be all right. They went back to
talking and laughing and I watched as Daddy kept going down
in the water. I started calling for Larry to come help but
he was nowhere around.
I finally dove into the water to do whatever I could
but when I went in I felt the wetness of the lake and woke
up instantly. It took me a while to figure it all out. I
knew it’d been a nightmare, and I was awake now, but I could
still feel the wetness. I was so scared still, but suddenly
so embarrassed too. My sheets were soaked. I must have wet
the bed in my sleep.
Mom didn’t say anything to me the next morning as she
stripped my bed to wash the sheets. I helped her carry the
mattress out beside the pool to dry in the sun. I thought
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that nothing could ever be worse than my embarrassment right
then. But, the worst part was when I heard her on the phone
a little later.
“Jim, this is Susan,” there was a pause as she listened
to the other person, “well, actually not so good,” another
pause, “I’m afraid I might have a problem and thought you
could help. We had this friend of Tommy’s over last night
for dinner, you know the neighbor man I told you about, and
we got into an argument that upset Tommy and last night he
wet the bed.” She paused for several minutes this time. “I
know you’d warned me about Tommy making such good friends
with an older man like that but it had always made him so
happy until now. What do you think I should do?” There was
a long pause this time. “Okay, that sounds best to me too.
Thanks, Jim, and I’ll see you tonight.”
Mom didn’t know I had been listening. She hung up the
phone and came into the den where I was sitting.
“Tommy, I don’t think you should be seeing Mr. Barton
for a while. He has upset you, and I want you to stay away
from him and his house.”
I was too upset to say anything and went out into the
backyard and spent the rest of the day alone.
Chapter Three
“Jim, don’t! The kids must still be awake and I don’t
feel comfortable with this with them right upstairs. What
if they were to come back down?”
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“Sue, Sue, Sue, they won’t come back down and even if
they did, it would be good for them to see their mom is
human and has a good romantic relationship. Many prominent
therapists believe that it is a good practice to let the
children see you in romantic situations.”
“I don’t care what prominent therapists think; I’m not
comfortable with it!”
I could hear Mom walking toward the kitchen as she was
speaking, and then the water running in the sink.
“While you’re in there, would you get me some more
scotch? I need something to help me release my tension.”
Jim sounded drunk already. I doubted that Mom would
give him anything except an invitation to leave. I got out
of bed and sneaked to the top of the stairs so I could watch
her throw him out of the house. I couldn’t believe my eyes
when I saw her walking back into the room with a glass in
her hand. And, to top it off, she was telling him that she
was sorry for getting onto him! She told him how lucky she
was to have him and how he could probably have any of the
younger girls on campus and she was lucky he was with her.
He started his dumb laughing again and started saying things
about how he liked an older gal who knew what she wanted,
and Mom sat close by him and acted like a stupid puppy being
petted. I went on back to bed and cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, after Mom stripped the sheets and
helped me carry the mattress outside again, we sat down to
breakfast. I didn’t even look at Jim, much less talk to
him. I cringed when Mom told me that she wanted me to go
for a ride with Mr. Randall after breakfast.
I really didn’t want to go at all but, but I did. We
drove in silence for several blocks before he spoke.
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“Tommy, I know you have been through a lot with your
father dying.”
What did he know? If Daddy were here right now I’ll
bet he would get rid of this jerk!
“Why don’t you think of me as your new dad? If you
have any problems you can tell me about them.” As he was
talking he pulled into a convenience store parking lot.
“What would you like to drink? Coke? Pepsi?”
“I don’t care; anything,” I answered real abruptly.
“Come on now, Tommy, let me at least be your friend.”
He went in the store and when he got to the counter I
saw him talking with the clerk. She was smiling at him and
he was taking a long time to pay for whatever he had. When
he got back into Mom’s car with me he handed me a Mountain
Dew. I hate Mountain Dew! He had also gotten himself a big
can of beer. We drove around for a while; then he drove our
car back to our house. When we got there Mom was waiting at
the door.
“Well, did you boys work things out?”
Before I could even tell her how he had flirted with
that clerk, he answered, “We had a great time! I think
Tommy and I are going to be great friends now.”
I didn’t quite know what to say, so I said nothing. I
didn’t like him when I first met him, I haven’t liked him
since, and I sure didn’t like him now!
Miss Evans started coming to visit very often. It
seemed that Mom and Jim were always going somewhere and
staying out late. He didn’t sleep at our house, but he was
always asking to stay over. Mom, at least, was putting her
foot down about him sleeping there with her.
One evening, about four months after Jim started coming
over, Mom was still upstairs getting ready when he got
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there. Miss Evans answered the door and told Jim that Mom
wasn’t ready yet. Jim winked at her and said that he didn’t
mind at all and that she was welcome to keep him entertained
while he waited. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
She went over to him and got real close and started
pretending to dance with him.
“I can be real entertaining!” she spoke while
practically rubbing herself on him.
“I’ll just bet you can, Sweetheart,” Jim answered in a
very low voice.
They kept dancing and holding each other until they
heard Mom coming down the steps. They didn’t think anyone
had heard them, but I had heard! I heard it very clearly!
And I’d seen how they were acting, too.
But the next morning when I told Mom about it, she
slapped me on the face and said that I was making things up
to cause trouble for her and Jim. I had been spanked
before, but I was really shocked about how she had hit me on
the face this time. I guess I learned right then that Jim
was first with her and I might as well accept it. But I
didn’t have to like it!
Jim was using our car most of the time now. He only
had a bicycle that he would ride, and lately he’d stop by
only to get the car. I didn’t mind that much going on my
bike to the store for Mom and Karen, but it really made me
mad that Jim was always in our car. And to make things
worse, he even asked Mom for gas money, on a regular basis!
Mom had told Karen that we couldn’t afford for her to take
ballet lessons, but she could afford to give this jerk our
car and gas money. He probably spent the money on beer
anyway!
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One day, while Mom and Jim were gone somewhere, I was
in the front yard and saw Larry in his garage. I looked and
Miss Evans was in the backyard with Karen so I decided to go
talk with him.
“Hi Larry, what you been doing?”
“Tommy, it sure is good to see you,” Larry looked past
me at our house, then finished his sentence, “but won’t your
Mom get mad that you’re here?”
“She’s not home. She and that jerk went to the river
or something and Miss Evans isn’t looking,” I had a devious
smile as I talked to my old friend.
“I don’t think you should call him a jerk, Tommy,” Mr.
Barton spoke out loud; then, with a sad smile he added sort
of under his breath, “I think rat is a better description.
A rat is a rodent that takes advantage of a free meal
anywhere he can find one!”
I don’t think he intended me to hear that and I didn’t
let on that I had, but I sure remembered it for a long time.
The jerk made sounds like a pig but he was actually a rat!
We had a nice visit, but Mr. Barton told me that he
didn’t want to see me get in trouble and maybe I shouldn’t
come over again until my mom said it was OK.
Well, Mom and the rat got home late that night and he
sounded loud and drunk when they came in, and it woke me up.
“Gina!” Jim practically shouted out Miss Evan’s first
name. “You can be the first to congratulate us on our
engagement!”
“Oh Jim, you are going to embarrass her,” Mom said as I
heard her walking into the den.
“Everyone kisses the bride but how about a kiss for the
groom-to-be?”
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After a brief pause I heard Mom shout, “Hey! What’s
taking you two so long?”
The next morning Mom stripped the sheets from my bed
and as we were carrying the mattress down toward the back
door, Jim shouted from the kitchen, “Don’t help him hide his
problem! Take that mattress out to the front yard to dry!”
Mom argued a little, but finally gave in and we had to
put the wet, stained mattress in the front yard for everyone
to see. I was so embarrassed.
They then told Karen and me what I already knew. Karen
didn’t seem to mind, and I didn’t say anything. I just
wanted to die!
Chapter Four
“Why do I have to have my name changed?”
“Because Jim and I decided that we are going to be a
real family. And I want you to start calling him Daddy too,
Tommy. He loves you and your sister, and I know you’ll love
him back if you give it a chance.”
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I didn’t want to be adopted, especially by this jerk!
I didn’t want to be Tommy Randall! I wouldn’t have minded
at all being Tommy Barton but I really, really didn’t want
to be Tommy Randall! They had only been married three days
and were gone for two, and now they wanted me, and Karen, to
start calling him Daddy! When he came into the kitchen for
breakfast, I excused myself and went to the den.
“Well, good morning, honey,” I heard Mom say in the
kitchen. “What would my baby like for his first breakfast
in his home?”
“First of all some coffee, then whatever you fix will
be just great. How did Tommy take the news about the
adoption?”
“Oh, he’s being a little stubborn about it, but I know
he will adjust to it. I just want everything to get to
normal as quickly as possible.”
“Sue, I do think we are right in getting everything
done as quickly as possible. That will be the best for
everyone. After breakfast, let’s call Gina to come and
watch the kids so we can do all of the business today. I
have a list of things, and I’ll bet we can do them all in
one day. We can have my name added to the home and car
insurance and you and the kids added to my medical
insurance, by phone. Then we can go to the courthouse and
file the adoption papers and have my name put on the house
and car titles. The only other stop will be the bank to add
me to the checking, savings and bankcard. I’ll bet by early
afternoon we can really be a family!”
“Jim, you are so organized. I’m so glad to have
someone to help me with all of the business things. I
really love you.”
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It was nearly six o’clock, and Miss Evans was really
pacing the floor.
“Where are they? I told Susan I had a date tonight,
and she said they should be back by two or three.”
She wasn’t really talking to me, but I answered her
anyway, “Maybe Mom decided to take him out of state and drop
him off.”
Miss Evans gave me a look of disgust, then went back to
pacing and looking out the front window.
“Well, finally!” Miss Evans said as we saw Mom’s car
pull into the drive.
My heart leaped when I saw he wasn’t with her. I hoped
that somehow I had been right, and she had gotten rid of the
rat!
“Gina, I’m so sorry we’re late. We lost track of time
with so much to do. Jim will be here in a little bit and he
has the money. If you can’t wait, I’ll pay you tomorrow
morning. Sorry.”
Miss Evans hurried out the door; then, Mom turned to
Karen and me and smiling said, “You two want to go for a
ride in a brand new convertible?”
At that moment I saw Jim pull into the drive behind our
old station wagon in a sports car.
“We are going to need another car anyway, and Jim has
always wanted one like that,” Mom smiled, pointed at the car
that the jerk was driving, then finished, “so we bought it
for him.” Mom’s smile couldn’t hide her slight apprehension
that I could see, and she tried to brush it aside by quickly
adding, “Now go hop in and we’ll all go cruising.”
I have to admit it was fun riding around with the top
down. He was even sort of fun too. He and Mom were
drinking wine or something and they had gotten sodas for
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Karen and me. We drove for hours. When we finally came
home, we were all exhausted and went straight to bed.
Except for him. He stayed outside, just sitting in the car.
I thought about when Mr. Barton and Mom had given me the
bicycle Christmas before last and how I had wanted to stay
outside on it all night.
The next morning was Monday. Mom fixed breakfast and,
having an early class, had to leave early.
“Jim, the wagon is blocked in. Can I drive the new car
to school?”
“No, I’ll move it out of the way,” Jim said quickly,
“I don’t mind, and besides I have plans for the car today.”
Mom seemed a little put off but didn’t say anything
else. She kissed us goodbye, said to do good in school, and
gave him a quick kiss as they passed in the yard when he was
coming back in from moving the convertible. He came back
into the kitchen and went straight to the phone.
“Hi, Judy, this is Jim Randall. Can you ask Ed to
teach my classes today? I have something really important
that I need to do today. Thanks, sweetheart, and I’ll see
you tomorrow.”
He immediately looked in the directory by the phone
then started dialing again.
“This is Jim Randall, Tommy and Karen Randall’s father.
Well yes, but the adoption papers are filed and I prefer
they start being called by their new last name. Anyway, the
reason I’m calling is to say they won’t be at school today.
We have something that we need to do and I wanted to let you
know. Yes, they will be there in the morning. Thank you.”
I wondered what was going on but didn’t say anything.
Karen was not so quiet.
“Why aren’t we going to school, Mr., uh, Daddy?”
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Karen and I had just finished breakfast and had put our
things in the sink.
“We’re going to play hooky today, kids. Tommy, go get
the ice chest and you two put on some more comfortable
clothes.”
I ran upstairs and put on some shorts. I then ran out
to the shed and got the ice chest and brought it into the
kitchen where Jim was getting soda and beer out of the
refrigerator. We put the top down on the car and headed
out.
“Where are we going?” I asked him as he pulled into the
convenience store on the corner to get ice.
“Where do you want to go? This is your day and I’m
just along to drive.”
“I want to go to Ride-World!” Karen yelled out.
Ride-World was a kiddie park and I quickly suggested
that I would rather go to the arcade at the mall.
He smiled and said, “Well, rather than argue, what do
you say we go to both?”
We really had fun that day. We went to Ride-World
first and then had lunch at the really neat pizza place at
the mall before going to the arcade. ‘Dad’ was pretty good
at the games but I could beat him most of the time. When we
were leaving and walking toward the exit of the mall we
passed an electronics store and I noticed a video game, I’d
been wanting, on display in the window. We went in and
looked at it, saw another we both liked better, and left
with it and a robot for Karen. When we got home it took us
a while to hook it up to the TV, but we finally did and we
were playing it intently when Mom walked in.
“Just where were you today, Jim?” Mom spoke sternly,
paused, and added, “And why weren’t you at work?”
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She seemed upset by her tone of voice, but stopped
abruptly when she came in the den and saw Karen playing with
the robot and us playing the video game.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Dad spoke quietly, “I should
have told you what I was planning but I really didn’t know
until you were leaving this morning, and I wasn’t sure until
you had already left.”
It was obvious that Mom was upset, still, but I think
she was also happy to see Dad and I getting along so she
didn’t say any more about it.
Chapter Five
“Tommy, now can we get rid of that dangerous old go-
cart?”
Dad had wanted me to stop riding it ever since he moved
in. Looking back I wonder if safety was really the reason
though. Maybe it was just because Larry Barton had made it
for me. Or possibly because it was too small for him to
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ride too! Well, whatever the reason, I was ready to say
goodbye to it now! I just couldn’t believe that I had my
own, brand new, Honda three-wheeler!
------------------------
When I had gone downstairs that morning before anyone
got up I just knew that they had forgotten me. There was
not a single package under the tree with my name on it. Was
the first Christmas with him here going to be the first of
many bad ones? Then about six o’clock Mom and Dad got up
and went into the kitchen to make their coffee. They’d been
friendly with me but not a word had been said about any gift
for me. Karen came down and she had several neat things
under the tree. While she was opening her stuff Mom and Jim
had some eggnog and exchanged their gifts to each other.
They were all friendly to me, but that was all I seemed to
be going to get. I didn’t say a word though. If that was
how it would be then I didn’t care!
Then Karen looked around the room, turned to me, and
loudly enough for everyone to hear, asked me where my
presents were.
Mom and Jim both got this confused look on their faces
and both started looking under the tree and around the den.
They were asking each other if either of them had remembered
me. Then Jim looked at me and said that sometimes people
just don’t, for whatever reason, get any presents under the
tree, and that he was sorry and wanted to talk with me about
it. He led me outside to the garage saying he wanted us to
be alone. I just knew that I was going to get one of his
psychology talks. But then, there in the garage by his
convertible, it was!
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“Oh Dad! I just can’t believe it! It’s really
perfect! Yes! I don’t think I will want the go-cart
anymore.”
Dad showed me how it worked and I took off. It had so
much power, and I hated it that I couldn’t leave our street.
I knew it could outrun a lot of the cars on the streets, and
I wanted to go faster than I could there on our short
street. Dad told me that when it got light I could go into
the field at the end of the subdivision but until then to
stay on the street and pull off if any cars came by. The
go-cart had been fun but on this, my three-wheeler, I could
sit up higher and it went so fast! This was the best day of
my life.
“Tommy is on cloud nine out there.”
“He was sure getting worried there for a while, wasn’t
he?”
“It was funny to watch him but I did feel a little
cruel.”
Mom and Dad both came outside just about the time it
was getting light, and after watching me go up and down the
street a few more times signaled me back into the drive.
“Come on in and have breakfast, Tommy,” Mom said with a
smile.
Before I could complain Dad added, “Right after we eat,
you and I can go down to the field and really give it a
try.”
My excitement, and still feeling the vibrations from
the handlebars in my arms, made it a little hard to eat. I
kept dropping my fork and spilled milk all over the table
when I dropped my glass. It took forever for everyone to
eat breakfast. I knew I couldn’t get up until everyone
finished and Karen was just so slow!
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“Mommy, can I have some more toast, please?”
“Karen, if you don’t hurry and get through I’m going to
break your new dollhouse!” I blurted it out before I could
stop myself, and knew I shouldn’t have said it.
“Tommy, don’t talk to your sister that way! If you are
going to be hateful, then you can’t go back outside!” Mom
gave me a very stern look as she spoke, then turned to Karen
with a smile and finished, “Karen, of course you can, and
take your time if you want.”
I felt terrible. I knew I shouldn’t have jumped on
Karen that way but she is just so slow!
“Sue, darling, I know that we always eat our entire
meal together but this one time, would you two ladies excuse
the men?”
Mom started to object but Dad was kissing her on the
ear and as she fought him away, she gave in.
“Oh all right, you two little boys are being too rowdy
for ladies anyway.”
Dad rode his bike behind me to the street that dead-
ended at the field. There was no way he could possibly keep
up though and I got there a long time before he did.
I turned around and went back to where he was, then
turned and passed him again. I made the trip to the field
and back to pass him several more times before we both got
there. This was the fastest three-wheeler in town! Dad and
I walked through the field and marked off a track with tree
limbs sticking in the ground. We made sure that there were
no hidden holes or rocks and after we felt sure it was OK,
Dad said he would make the first trip.
“Dad, Dad!” I yelled as loud as I could as he made his
third pass, “I want to ride now!”
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He finally stopped after the fourth circle, and talking
loudly above the beautiful vrumm-ta-da-da-da of the engine
said, “I made some pretty good tracts in the grass so it’ll
be easy to see the route. Are you ready now? Here you
are.”
He got off and let me jump on. “Go slow at first until
you get used to it and be careful.”
It was great! It cornered so well and it would
actually leave the ground on the three small hills. After a
few trips around I had learned to give it full throttle just
before the top of each hill and it was like I was flying. I
could feel the vibration, and my ears sang with the sounds
of the engine. I knew that if I were in a real race that I
would already be the best rider there. I went around the
hairpin curve, flying over three hills, then down the
straightaway toward the street again, and again, and again.
Then it happened! My heart sank into my stomach! It
just couldn’t be true! Had I lost consciousness? All of my
feeling was gone. The whole world just seemed to stop.
“Hey! What are you doing, Tommy?”
Dad’s voice broke the silence. Then I realized that
the engine had stopped and I was sitting on the stopped bike
in the middle of the field.
“It must have run out of gas, Tommy. Push it over
here.”
When I got back to the street, Dad looked in the tank
and, sure enough, it was empty.
“I’ll go back to the house and get the gas can, you
wait here with your bike.”
I still felt numb as I watched Dad ride away. I just
sat on my bike, still almost able to feel the vibrations
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even though the engine was dead. I couldn’t believe it was
mine, really mine!
Chapter Six
“Sue, there will be plenty of time for me to finish my
Ph.D. later. Right now I just want to spend more time with
the kids.”
“But Jim, you are so close now, and if you don’t take
those courses this semester they may not be offered next
fall.”
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“Honey, they will be offered when I’m ready to take
them. Don’t worry about it. Besides, with the two classes
I’m teaching this semester I don’t have enough time anyway.
Plus, this is your last semester, and with the load you’re
taking it’ll give me more time to help you.”
Mom and Dad had been arguing about it all evening. I
wished they’d stop. It was really the first argument they
had gotten into that I could remember and it was upsetting
Karen. I don’t know what the big deal was anyway about Dad
being a “doctor.” They had sort of explained that even when
he finished he wouldn’t be able to operate on people or even
help us with a cold. Big deal!
I didn’t want to go to school today either. I just
wanted to stay home and ride my three-wheeler. Dad and I
had been riding it all day, every day, since Christmas and I
was getting pretty good on it. Dad rode it a lot too but I
guess he had the right to since he bought it for me.
The day sure dragged by and by the time school was out
I was more than ready to get home. I never realized before
how slow the bus went. I know that by the time it had made
the rounds I could have already been home if I had just
walked home from school.
When Karen and I got off the bus, I tried to get her to
hurry with me to the house. We turned the corner to our
street and noticed Miss Evan’s car in the drive. I thought
Dad was going to be home, and I also knew I couldn’t take my
bike to the field by myself. I felt terrible. I bet he was
out driving around town in his convertible drinking beer.
Then I saw his car in the drive in front of hers. Maybe he
was home waiting for me and called her to watch Karen. We
ran through the yard and opened the door.
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“Kids, come in the den and sit down.” Miss Evans
sounded and looked worried. “Jim, uh, your dad was in an
accident and is in the hospital. Your mom is on the way
there from school. I talked to the hospital people, and
they said he would be fine but would have to stay a couple
of days. He has a broken leg and some cuts, but that is
all.”
I didn’t know quite what to say, but then I remembered
that his car was in the drive and it had looked all right.
“What happened? How did he get hurt?”
“They said something about a motorcycle, but I’m not
sure.”
My mind whirled, and then I jumped up off the sofa and
ran to the garage. When I opened the door I didn’t see my
three-wheeler anywhere. I screamed toward the open door,
“Miss Evans, where is my bike!”
“I don’t know, Tommy. I told you everything that they
told me.”
It couldn’t be! He wouldn’t have taken my bike without
me. It must be at the shop getting adjustments or
something. It had been running a little rough yesterday.
I’ll bet he was at the cycle shop and when he was coming
out, had been hit with someone else’s bike. My train of
thought was broken when the phone rang and Miss Evans
answered it.
“Hello, this is the Randall residence… Oh hi, Sue, how
is he? No, I don’t mind at all, we’ll be right there.”
She hung up the phone and turned to us. “Your mom
wants me to take you to the hospital. Put up your books and
let’s go.”
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We walked in the room and Dad was lying in bed with
bandages all over him. Mom seemed more like she was angry
than she seemed worried.
“Dad, what happened?” I asked, then immediately added,
“And where is my three-wheeler?”
“Your dad wrecked your three-wheeler, Tommy! He was
drunk and he wrecked it!”
Dad didn’t say a word and he wouldn’t even look at me.
I was eleven years old, and knew I was too old, but I
started crying anyway. I just couldn’t believe that my
three-wheeler was wrecked. Dad finally spoke in a slurred
voice.
“Don’t worry, Tommy. We’ll get it fixed for you.”
“No, we won’t!” Mom yelled loud enough for practically
everyone on the floor to hear. “It wasn’t insured and the
shop said that it was too badly damaged to repair. Besides,
this proves that it is too dangerous anyway!”
He didn’t have the right to wreck my bike. Why was he
always drinking and messing things up? I knew Mom well
enough to know it would do no good to argue. I hated Jim!
He’s such a jerk, just such a rat jerk!
On Friday, he came home from the hospital and it didn’t
take long for Mom and him to make up. He promised that he
wouldn’t drink anymore, but still he couldn’t talk her into
getting me a new bike. He tried so hard that I couldn’t
stay mad at him either. But I sure missed my bike.
Early that spring he bought a small boat and trailer.
It was just large enough for all four of us to go out on the
river. Mom and Karen didn’t like to fish so they didn’t go
very often but Dad and I went nearly every Saturday. I had
never caught a fish before, and Dad said he hadn’t caught
many either, but we had fun.
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One Saturday we had just been fishing for a short while
when Dad asked, “Tommy, we are real close and I think we can
trust each other, and I wondered if you could keep a
secret?”
“Sure, Dad. Guys have to stick together.”
“Well, you know that I promised your mom that I
wouldn’t drink anymore to try to talk her into letting me
get you another bike. And I know that I shouldn’t have been
drinking that much. But I sure would love to drink an
occasional beer while we fish. If we go to the marina and
get some beer and sodas, would you promise not to tell?”
I promised and he even let me sip one of the beers, but
I preferred my soda. I don’t know why he liked the beer. I
guess you have to be a grown-up to like it. We had a ball
drinking, fishing, and just cruising the river that day. We
even started going a couple of times a week after that.
Chapter Seven
“I think it is very important to go to the ceremony,
Sue. It’s the finale, the conclusion, no, the closure of a
very important episode in your life. My fondest memory was
my own graduation from college.”
“Well, that lets me know where our marriage stands!”
I could tell Mom was only joking, but I don’t think Dad
caught on.
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“No, that’s not what I meant. It’s different. Of
course our wedding day was important. But a graduation is…”
“Jim!” Mom interrupted Dad’s rambling. “I was just
kidding, now calm down. I just don’t want to do it.
Remember, you were younger when you graduated, but I’ll bet
you will feel differently if, I mean when, you get your
Ph.D.”
“Well, maybe,” Jim paused and thought before
continuing, “I guess so, but I still think it’s important!”
“Jim,” Mom spoke seriously, “I really think what’s
important right now is that I get a good job.” Mom
hesitated as if she weren’t sure if she should continue,
then did, “You, I mean we, have been spending money like
it’s going out of style and our savings account is getting
pretty low.”
“Oh Sue, we still have plenty of money left and we
don’t owe anything on the house and cars. Besides, an
accountant makes a lot, and with your grades, you won’t have
any trouble getting a good job. Plus, with the little bit
of money I make, we’ll be able to put back money into our
savings account.”
“You don’t make enough to pay for the utilities and
groceries, Jim,” Mom was quick to reply, “much less all the
things you have been buying lately.”
“Well, when I get my Ph.D. it will be different. A
professor makes a lot of money!”
I could feel the family vacation going down the drain.
We had been planning for a month or so on taking a really
great trip when Mom graduated, but it was sounding like we
couldn’t afford it now. When Dad first suggested that we
take a really neat trip together, we’d had trouble deciding
where to go. Karen wanted to see Mickey Mouse. I wanted to
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go to Yellowstone, and Mom wanted to go on a sea cruise.
But Dad won. He said that there was a really neat amusement
park for Karen, and we could take a long boat trip on Lake
Meade, and we could drive over to see the Grand Canyon and
even go down into it on mules for me. So we decided to go
to Las Vegas.
Mom and Dad had even gone out and traded the old
station wagon for a brand new van and everything was set.
But now could we afford it? Mom wasn’t joking anymore
and they both started talking really loud. When Karen began
crying, they both stopped arguing and told me and Karen to
go to bed.
I couldn’t go to sleep and I couldn’t quite hear what
they were saying, but I knew they were still arguing. I
strained my ears but they were talking so low I couldn’t
make out what they were saying.
I finally fell asleep and remember dreaming about being
in the new van on a highway. Mom and Dad were arguing about
which turns to take and where we would go. I needed to use
the bathroom, but they were arguing so much they didn’t hear
me when I told them. I was about to burst, and then finally
they stopped at a gas station. I ran as fast as I could to
the bathroom, but it was locked and before I could make it
to the office to get the key I just couldn’t hold it any
longer and my pants were getting wet. Just then I woke up
and realized that I’d wet my bed again.
It had been so long since I’d had an accident, but I
remembered how we had put the mattress in the front yard the
last time. It had been so embarrassing. I don’t know how I
managed it by myself, but I had it out by the pool before
anyone woke up. Nothing was said, not even when Dad helped
me carry it back up that afternoon.
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Mom took her last exam on that Thursday. Everything
was either in the van or packed and ready. Miss Evans made
Karen and me go to bed at the regular time, but I couldn’t
go to sleep. I was still awake when Mom and Dad got home,
but as loud as Dad was I would have woken up anyway.
“Gina! Sweetheart! You ought to go with us! We are
going to have a ball in old Vegas. You could easily get a
job as a showgirl,” I heard the pause before Dad finished
his sentence, “as good looking as you are.”
“Gina, ignore him. He’s just drunk.”
Mom sounded a little drunk too, but she was trying to
hide it. It didn’t take long for them to get to sleep and
the house got really quiet. Too quiet! Every time I almost
dozed off the refrigerator would come on and wake me up. I
don’t know if I ever really slept at all that night.
I was up and had the rest of my stuff in the van before
Karen got up. I helped her put her things in and then fixed
us both some cereal and toast. While she was in the den
watching cartoons, I went out front to double check the van.
I noticed Larry in his driveway getting ready to go to work
and yelled at him.
“Larry, did you know that we are going to the Grand
Canyon?”
“Really, Tommy? That sounds like a lot of fun. How
have you been doing? I surely have missed you and Karen.
Is she doing okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine.”
“How is your mom, Tommy? I hope she is doing all
right.”
“She just graduated. We are taking the trip to
celebrate.”
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“Tommy, is Jim doing okay? I saw him get into the
accident on the three-wheeler that day. He was drunk when
he pulled out of the drive, and I tried to talk him out of
riding it drunk, but couldn’t. He drinks a lot, doesn’t
he?”
“Not anymore,” I said remembering my promise to Dad,
“and he doesn’t even limp anymore.”
“Well, Tommy, I have to go to work now, but you guys
have a wonderful trip, and I’ll keep an eye on the house
while you are gone. And,” Larry looked at me very seriously
and added just before getting into his car to leave, “Tommy,
if you or Karen need anything, ever, you just give me a
call, okay?”
I waved goodbye to Larry as he drove down the street.
We finally got out on the interstate and on our way.
The highway sounds quickly made me sleepy. The big chairs
in the van were so comfortable that I went to sleep before I
knew what happened.
“But Jim! You promised!” I heard Mom’s voice and knew
she wasn’t very happy.
“I know, but this is a vacation.” Dad sounded like a
kid begging for something. “It’s different, like last
night! And all I want is a six-pack for the road. Please?”
“Well, all right, but I am going to drive.” Mom had
given in, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t
going to forget it.
We pulled into the next station and got gas, went to
the restrooms, and filled the ice chest with soft drinks,
ice, and Dad’s twelve-pack.
I had never slept in a motel before. I could hear
Dad’s snoring and I was sure Mom was asleep in the bed also,
but Karen and I were both wide awake in our sleeping bags on
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the floor of the room watching TV. Karen had slept most of
the day too. After a while Karen finally went to sleep, but
I just wasn’t sleepy. I finally got up and, real quietly so
as not to wake anyone up, got the keys to the van and went
outside.
I could see all the cars and trucks on the highway, not
far away, and sort of wished we were still driving toward
the Grand Canyon. I still wished we’d gone to Yellowstone
instead, but was eager to see the Grand Canyon too. I was
almost twelve and thought I probably could have driven while
everyone slept in the van. I got up in the driver’s seat
and pretended to be driving. I imagined that Mom and Dad
were asleep in the back seats and Karen on the back couch.
I was going down the highway and having no trouble passing
all of the slower cars. I looked down between the front
captain chairs and saw the ice chest. I opened it up and
down in the ice, which was now mostly water, were two Cokes,
a Mountain Dew, and one beer. I reached in and got the beer
out and opened it. I had a hold on the steering wheel with
my left hand, leaned back in the seat, and my right hand
held the beer. I pretended to be just cruising down the
road. I instinctively raised my right hand, bringing the
can to my mouth and took a drink. It still didn’t taste
good at all but after a while I forced myself to take
another, larger drink. I don’t know why grown-ups like it!
I suddenly panicked and got out of the van, ran to the
corner of the motel and threw the can as far as I could,
then sneaked back into the room. Crawling into my sleeping
bag, I hoped nobody had heard me and I lay very still for a
long time. I guess I finally went to sleep because I was
startled when Mom yelled.
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“Come on, everyone! If we don’t get moving we will
have to pay for another night!”
We all got ready and were in the van by nine o’clock.
We drove to the restaurant where we had eaten dinner the
night before and had breakfast and were back on the highway,
heading for the Grand Canyon, by ten.
My heart stopped, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt so
dizzy when I heard Dad. “Hey, I know that there were some
beers left in here last night!”
I started to speak up and say that there had only been
one, but caught myself.
“Well, it doesn’t surprise me, the way you were pouring
them down yesterday, Jim! Why don’t you do without beer for
at least one day?”
When Dad didn’t reply, I felt a little bit better. The
way Mom is always getting onto him about drinking, I know
that she would have killed me for what I had done.
By that afternoon we were within a few hours of the
Grand Canyon. I didn’t want to stop but was out-voted.
When we got off the highway we found a grocery store and
bought some picnic stuff. Dad had slipped another twelve-
pack in the cart, and Mom had given him a dirty look when
she noticed it at the check-out register.
We got back on the highway, but stopped at the next
rest area and had a picnic. Dad didn’t really eat anything.
He just drank a few beers while we ate. Mom didn’t say a
word, but when we started getting back into the van she
insisted on driving. I don’t think she looked at him or
spoke a single word to him all afternoon.
It was four o’clock when we got to the ridge of the
canyon. It was really cool. As many pictures as I’d seen
of it, I just couldn’t believe how cool it was.
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“Respirational!” Mom was the first to break the total
silence as we all stood and looked down into the deep, vast
network of canyons.
“Respir what?” I’d never heard any words like that and
was really confused about what Mom meant.
“Well,” Mom looked at me and grinned before explaining
herself, “Respiration is what breathing is called,” she
explained and I remembered it from school, “so when I look
at this, “she waved her arm at the Grand Canyon, “it takes
my breath away.” Mom seemed pleased with herself as she
finished, “So, this is truly respirational.”
There wasn’t enough time to take the mules down that
day but I just knew that we’d surely spend the night and go
tomorrow.
“You promised Tommy that you would go with him on the
mules.” Mom had a tone of disbelief in her voice.
“I know,” Dad agreed but added, “but our reservations
in the hotel start tonight and we have to pay whether we are
there or not. Maybe we can stop on the way back. If we
keep driving we can be there by nine or ten.”
But I wanted to stay. I was afraid something would
happen and we wouldn’t come back. But it was no use. We
loaded up and headed away. I looked back until it was out
of sight. It was really so respirational.
“One of the professors at school came out here last
year and won over three thousand dollars on the crap
tables.”
“Jim, I am going along with your drinking on this
trip,” Mom sounded really concerned as she spoke, “but I
don’t want you gambling away our money!”
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“Oh, don’t worry. I know when to quit! Besides, I
just want to have fun in the casinos, not make work out of
it. I’m not really a gambler anyway.”
The hotel was really neat. I couldn’t believe that a
hotel room could be this fancy. Karen and I had two beds
set up in a sort-of living room and Mom and Dad had a great
big bedroom with a huge bathroom with a shower and also a
tub that made bubbles. We called for room service and the
people brought our food up to us in the room. It was real
fancy and, even though they hadn’t ordered it, the hotel
sent up a big bottle of something for Mom and Dad. After we
ate, Karen and I figured out how to work the TV. We could
make it play almost any movie we wanted to see. It took a
while but we finally decided on one we both wanted to see
and lay down to watch it together.
“Not tonight, Jim.” Mom must have been arguing with
Dad again about something and I heard her as she finished
her sentence, “I’m tired and I don’t’ think we should leave
the kids in the room by themselves. We have plenty of time
anyway. We’re going to be here three days, after all.”
“Well, would you mind if I went down for just an hour
or so alone?” Dad was talking like a little kid and added
in even a more childish tone, “Please? I’ve never been here
before and just want to see it.”
“Oh, you’re such a child!” Mom shook her head as she
spoke. “I guess it would be OK, but just an hour,” Mom
agreed but quickly added, “and don’t gamble too much of our
money.”
I don’t know if Mom was awake when Dad got back but he
woke me up when he almost fell over my bed. I looked at the
clock and it was two-thirty. I didn’t hear anything from
the bedroom so I guess Mom didn’t wake up.
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“Honey, why don’t you take the kids to the amusement
park and I’ll stay here?” Dad didn’t sound like he wanted
to go at all.
“No, absolutely not! You told Karen that we would all
go with her and we’re ‘all’ going!” Mom didn’t leave much
room for argument with the way she spoke.
I was pretty bored. Karen had a pretty good time and wanted
to stay longer. But I was on Dad’s side and, after both of
us begged enough, we went back to the room early.
Mom, Karen and I put on our swimming suits and were
ready to go to the pool but Dad said he didn’t want to swim.
Mom didn’t argue and told him that we would meet him at the
restaurant at seven for dinner together.
Dad didn’t give Mom a chance to change her mind and was
out the door before us. He did meet us at seven in the
restaurant though for dinner.
After we ate dinner, I assured Mom that I was old
enough to watch out for myself and Karen and that we had
picked two good movies to watch anyway. Mom and Dad left,
but Mom called the room every five minutes during both
movies. She finally came back to the room around eleven
o’clock that night, but Dad wasn’t with her. I was still
awake and asked her where he was.
“Oh, he’ll be up in a little bit. He just couldn’t
leave the game right now and I was getting tired. Don’t
worry, and go on to sleep.”
I never did hear Dad come in that night. But the next
morning when we were ready to go to the lake he did finally
get up and join us in the restaurant for breakfast.
The boat trip was really neat. It was the most
beautiful lake I had ever seen, and we cruised around it all
day. Dad was really quiet that whole day. I guess he was
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tired, and Mom just ignored him. But we had a good time
anyway, as though he wasn’t even there.
That night we all went to a magic show. It was neat
the way the guy could make lions and tigers appear and
disappear. But the really best part were the girls that
were helping him. Man, were they beautiful! I couldn’t
believe how they were dressed! They were beautiful! They
were absolutely beautiful! I don’t think I’d ever seen
girls that beautiful.
After the show Mom said she was tired and went back to
the room with us, but Dad stayed downstairs again.
When we got up the next morning Dad still wasn’t back.
Mom was worried, and after she ordered us breakfast in the
restaurant, told us to wait there and she was going to look
for him. It wasn’t long before the two of them came back to
our table together, and Dad looked terrible. Mom never
looked at him or said a word during breakfast. After we
ate, we went back to the room and packed, then went down and
got into the van. Mom still hadn’t said a word to Dad and
if I hadn’t been able to see him, I would have sworn he
wasn’t even there.
“Well, I had a really fun time,” I said as we were
getting back on the highway. “Are we going back to the
Grand Canyon now? Are we still going to take the mules down
into it?”
Mom, driving the van, looked over her shoulder at me,
“No, Tommy. We can’t afford the detour. Jim spent a lot
more money than he should have, so you won’t be able to go
down into the canyon like he had promised you.
As Mom finished her sentence she smiled sympathetically
at me, then turned and glared at Jim before returning to
watching the road ahead.
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It was sure a lot longer trip home than the trip out
had been!
Chapter Eight
Mom and Dad didn’t seem to be getting along very well for
several weeks. I didn’t know if it was about the vacation
or just that Mom was so busy with her new job.
She had been hired at the very first place she went to
after we got back. At first she was so excited but her new
job was really hard and she seemed really tired all the
time. She said that it would get easier after she settled
in. I just wish she would settle in soon because we all
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missed her; even though she was home every evening by six or
seven, it seemed like we never got to talk to her anymore.
The college was making some cutbacks, and Dad wasn’t
hired to teach that summer. Mom had told him he should take
some classes, but he said nothing was offered that he wanted
to take that semester. Mom refused to let us call Miss
Evans to baby sit Karen so Dad and I could go fishing.
Karen didn’t like going fishing at all, so we didn’t go
anymore. I don’t think Dad really wanted to go that much
because if Karen was along he couldn’t drink. We both knew
that Karen would tell Mom anything and everything. Girls
stuck together too, like us guys, I guess.
“Susan, the day after tomorrow is Tommy’s birthday.
Would you mind if I called Gina to watch Karen so I can take
Tommy fishing?”
“Well, sure. I guess that’d be OK. If Tommy really
wants to go; it is his birthday, so sure. But you two be
sure to be home early. Remember, I am taking off a little
early and plan on fixing a special dinner and cake for him.”
The morning of the twenty-fourth we got up early and
had the boat ready long before Miss Evans got there. Mom
had already left for work and Karen was still in bed.
“Hi guys!” Miss Evans said as she came in the door
with nothing on but a bikini that showed everything.
When neither of us said a word, she suddenly stopped
walking and turned around to see what was wrong.
“Hi, uh, Gina. Thanks for coming over,” Dad stuttered,
then added, “Karen is still upstairs and there is sandwich
stuff and sodas in the fridge.”
When we got in the car and pulled out I mentioned how
small her bathing suit had been.
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“Yeah, it makes it kind of hard for guys to
concentrate, doesn’t it?”
“It was about as skimpy as the girls at that show in
Las Vegas,” I added and couldn’t hide my grin.
“So, Tommy,” Dad grinned back at me as he spoke, “you
were watching that too, huh?”
I probably turned a little red, and he knew good and
well that I had been more interested in the girls than the
magician.
We stopped and got beer and sodas then headed out to
the river. When we got on the water and started fishing Dad
asked me how long I had been interested in pretty girls.
“I like girls, Dad. I don’t know how long, but I have
liked girls for quite a while.”
“Well, you are growing up, Tommy. In fact, in a lot of
cultures around the world twelve is the age of manhood.”
“Really?” I asked. “Do you think I am a man now?”
“Well, you are nearly as tall as me already, and the
way you’re noticing the great-looking gals, I would say so.”
“Dad, do you think Miss Evans is good looking?”
“Sure I do,” Dad paused and obviously gave it some
thought before continuing, “and evidently you do too the way
you were looking at her in that little swimming suit she had
on today.”
“Well, yeah, I guess so.” I pictured Gina in her
swimsuit before going on with my original thought. “But do
you think Mom is still good looking too?”
“Why yes, of course, Tommy!” Dad looked at me with a
puzzled look, then finished. “She is a very beautiful
woman!”
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“If you think Mom is so beautiful, and you are married
to her,” I hesitated a moment before finishing my question,
“then why would you look at other girls, like Ms. Evans?”
“Well, Tommy,” Dad smiled as he explained, “a beautiful
girl is always fun to look at, and besides, being married
doesn’t mean that you are always happy,” Dad looked at me
and winked before adding, “in every way.”
I didn’t think I wanted to hear any more about that, so
I didn’t ask any more questions. Dad reached in the ice
chest and got a beer, opened it and took a long drink. Then
he set it down on the seat beside him and reached in and got
another. He opened it, handed it to me.
“Welcome to adulthood, Tom. Here’s an adult drink for
you.”
I had never been called Tom before. I knew that it was
my father’s name and it made me feel good to be called Tom.
I drank that whole beer and even part of another that day.
Dad had only gotten a six-pack and he only drank three that
day.
We talked about a lot of things. I asked him things
that I had always wanted to know, but had been embarrassed
to ask anyone. We didn’t catch any fish but it was a really
good day. At about one o’clock we threw away the remaining
beer and empty cans, loaded up, and drove home.
That evening Mom fixed a really great dinner and my
cake was really good. During dinner I noticed that Dad was
being really nice to Mom and she even seemed to be feeling
better too. They went to bed before Karen and I did. That
was the first time I could remember that ever happening. It
was really nice to see them happy again and it was a really
nice birthday for me.
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A couple of weeks later we all loaded into the van to
go for a Saturday drive. It was the first whole weekend Mom
had gotten off since she started her job and we were
celebrating.
We didn’t really have a destination. It was a pretty
day and we just went wherever we wanted to go. After we
stopped for lunch we pulled into a gas station to fill up
and get something to drink. Dad was pumping the gas and Mom
went in to pay and get the drinks. Just before she opened
the door to go in, she looked back over her shoulder and
yelled.
“Jim, honey, would you like beer instead? I’m so glad
you haven’t been dinking alcohol lately, and if you’d like a
beer now I think it’d be OK.”
“No,” Dad spoke without hesitation but he thought a
second before he confirmed what he’d said, “no thanks,
sweetheart. A soda is fine.”
It sure was a fun day. We all had a great time and
didn’t get back home until very late. I slept really well
that night.
“Sue, are you sure you’re all right?” Dad sounded
worried as he spoke to Mom.
“Oh, I think so,” Mom answered but realized she didn’t
sound too convincing so added, “I’m probably just not used
to working full time yet. I did make an appointment at the
doctor’s for Thursday though,” she hesitated before again
adding, “just to make sure. It has been over a year since I
had a physical anyway.”
Dad must have been real worried because he called Miss
Evans to come over on Thursday so he could go with Mom.
They were home by noon and, when they came in, they
were both acting really silly. They had all three of us,
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me, Karen and Miss Evans, sit on the couch in the den and
both of them were standing, or more like wiggling, in front
of us.
“Gina,” Mom spoke first, “I want you to hear this too.
Tommy, Karen, how would you like to have a new brother or
sister?”
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t upset, or happy.
I just didn’t know how I felt. Gina instantly jumped up and
hugged Mom, then Dad.
“How wonderful for you both! I’m so happy! Plus I’ll
get a raise when I baby-sit.”
Mom and Dad seemed so happy that I guess it made me
happy too. Karen didn’t smile though. I don’t know why,
but she wasn’t happy.
When Mom noticed, she reached for her and asked,
“What’s the matter, baby? Don’t you want a little brother
or sister to play with?”
Karen pulled away and ran to the stairs crying and
saying, “We don’t need a baby! I thought I was the baby!”
Mom quickly ran after her and they went up the stairs
together.
Dad looked a little upset too but Gina hugged him again
and said, “Don’t worry, Jim. She’ll get over it. A lot of
kids act that way.”
Dad hugged her back and smiled. It seemed like they
hugged for a long time, and I couldn’t help thinking about
our little talk about how married men can still look at
other girls. I guessed they could also still hug the girls
they think are cute too.
Gina left, but said she’d be back by seven. Dad had
asked her to sit with us tonight because he and Mom were
going out to celebrate one last time. After all, with a
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baby on the way, they wouldn’t be able to go out again for a
while and Mom wouldn’t be able to drink anymore because she
was pregnant. Even tonight she said she was only going to
have a couple.
Dad was on cloud nine. Mom and Karen finally came back
down and Karen seemed a little bit happier. I wondered what
Mom had talked to her about to make things better. Mom said
she had an errand to run and would be right back. Dad was
still pacing around the house. It was funny watching him.
When Mom got back she had some stuff from the grocery store
and a bottle from the liquor store.
She mixed some frozen lime juice and rum in the
blender, added some ice, and turned the blender on. She
poured one large glass and two small ones. Then she made
another batch without the rum and poured a small glass. She
called us into the kitchen and gave Karen the last glass and
me one of the other small ones and Dad the large one.
“Tommy, you are twelve and going to get the
responsibility of being a big brother again, so I think you
are old enough for your first real toast.”
If she only knew! I was thinking about the beer with
Dad as I took the glass from Mom as she continued to talk.
“Here is to our ever-growing family.”
She and Dad raised their glasses so Karen and I did the
same. When we all took a sip, Karen said, “Ooh, this is
good.”
I had to admit that mine was pretty good too. Mom and
Dad kissed for so long that it embarrassed us. So, Karen
and I excused ourselves and left the room.
After a few minutes I yelled back into the kitchen,
“Hey, can I have another?”
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“Don’t push it, Tommy!” Mom yelled back and we all
laughed.
Dad continued to float around the house and Mom kept
fixing him more of the frozen drinks, laughing at him, and
not seeming to mind his drinking at all.
At seven they were ready and as soon as Miss Evans
came, they left saying that they might be late if it was all
right with her. Miss Evans just smiled and told them to
have a good time.
As they were going out the door Mom said, “Jim, maybe I
should drive tonight.”
Dad, getting the convertible keys out of his pocket,
replied rather loudly, “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be careful.
Let’s put the top down and really enjoy this beautiful,
beautiful night!”
Chapter Nine
“Tommy, what’s in the blender?”
As I went into the kitchen I explained to Miss Evans
what it was and how good it was.
“Well, I think I’ll try a glass instead of just pouring
it out.” Ms. Evans took a glass out of the cabinet and
poured about half of the remaining drink in her glass.
“Can I have some more too? Please?”
“Why Tommy, your mother would kill you, and me too!”
Ms. Evans looked surprised that I’d even ask her
something like that.
I explained that I’d already had one glass, and after
she made me promise not to tell, she poured the rest of the
drink into my glass, and we sat at the table and drank them
together.
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While we drank and talked, I couldn’t help but imagine
what it would be like to be her boyfriend. I think, for the
first time, I noticed that she was, like Dad had said,
really cute.
We could sit here and fix another batch of this drink
and talk. I’ll bet she would start liking me a lot.
Then we could put Karen to bed and turn the stereo on
and dance. I wondered what it would be like to dance with
her. I wouldn’t let on that I had never really danced or
anything before. While I was daydreaming, I guess I was
sort of staring at her.
“Tommy! What are you staring at?
Miss Evans broke my trance. I didn’t know what to say.
I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t say anything.
I quickly got up and took my not yet empty glass to the
sink, poured out what was left, and left the room.
Miss Evans came in a few minutes later and joined Karen
and me. We all three watched a movie together that was on
TV, and when it was over, Karen and I went up to bed. I was
still thinking about Miss Evans as I went to sleep.
I was dreaming about being older and being Miss Evans’
boyfriend when my dream was interrupted.
Then the doorbell rang! I woke up and then heard it
ring twice more real fast. Then I heard a knocking on the
door. I figured it was Mom and Dad and they had, maybe,
left the house keys here. I started to get up, but I heard
Miss Evans going down the hallway. There was another ring
of the bell and more knocking.
“I’m coming, just a minute!”
I heard Miss Evan’s voice as she was hurrying to the
door. I heard the door open and some voices, too low to
understand, from my bed.
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“Oh no! No, no!” I heard Ms. Evans cried out loudly.
Miss Evans was talking loud but the other voices were
still too low to understand. I heard the movement as they
all went into the den and could now make out what the other
voices were saying too.
“The truck hit the passenger side of the car. It
happened so fast that I know she didn’t suffer. It just
happened so fast.”
“Is he going to be all right?” Ms. Evans asked after a
moment or two.
“We think so,” the other man’s voice said. “He is
pretty shaken up, but not seriously injured. They took him
to Memorial Hospital.”
“Should I get the kids up and take them there now?”
“No, they couldn’t see him tonight anyway.” One of the
men spoke a little louder now. “It might be best to wait
until morning. There’s really nothing any of you can do
tonight.”
My mind was racing, figuring out what they could be
talking about. But every time I tried to believe something
different, it came back to what it just had to mean.
I got out of bed and put my pants on as I heard the men
leaving. I staggered down the stairs. My legs weren’t
working right. I saw Miss Evans sitting on the couch with
her head in her hands crying. I managed to make it to the
couch and sat down beside her.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I asked nearly crying
myself.
Miss Evans hadn’t heard me come down and really broke
down crying harder when she saw me.
“Oh, Tommy, it’s terrible, so terrible! There’s been
an accident and Sue, your mom, is gone.”
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Even though I’d heard the men talking. Even thought I
knew what had happened. Even though I knew that Mom was
dead, I started laughing! I had tears in my eyes that were
running down my face, but I was laughing. Not the type of
laugh that comes from something funny, but a laugh that
couldn’t be controlled. I just knew Miss Evans would think
I was something terrible and bad. I just knew she would
probably hit me for being so weird, but I couldn’t stop
laughing.
My insides hurt. I felt as though I might throw up.
My legs grew weak and my muscles started to shake
uncontrollably. Instead of hitting me or telling me off,
Miss Evans just sat patiently. She must have understood my
hysteria.
Then as Miss Evans put her arms around me and held me
tight, we both started crying. After what seemed like a
very long time, we mostly stopped, but every time we tried
to talk about Mom, we started crying again. We wanted to
talk about things, but just couldn’t, so we held each other
and cried.
When Karen got up, Miss Evans had to explain all over
again and started us all crying again. We just sat and
cried together until it was almost light outside.
Miss Evans called the hospital; then, she told us to
get dressed and that we could go pick Dad up.
We were all real quiet on the way to the hospital.
When we got there Dad was waiting in the lobby. Miss Evans
ran to him and gave him a hug. He had some bandages on his
face and his arm was in a sling.
“Oh Jim, it’s so horrible. We’re just glad that you’re
okay.”
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Dad started to cry and, hugging her back, said, “My
baby, my only baby, he’s gone, he’s gone!”
------------------
“So,” young Larry had been silently listening to his
Dad tell the story but couldn’t help asking, “my Grandma
died in a car wreck?”
“Yes,” Tom looked at his son and added, “and your other
aunt or uncle too.”
Chapter Ten
Uncle Charlie had told me on the phone that he and Aunt
Irene wanted us to stay with them in Glendale during our
visit. I hadn’t seen them in four years and Karen didn’t
really remember them. Karen and I had both wanted to stay
there, but Dad decided that we should stay in a motel
instead. He said that he’d never met them and would feel
uncomfortable in their house.
The trip to Glendale was a lot longer than I thought it
would be. Dad hadn’t said much since the accident, and the
van was silent except for the usual road noises that you
hear on an interstate highway.
When we got there, and checked into the motel, Dad told
us to stay in the room and that he would be in the club if
we needed him. Karen and I were so tired that we went
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straight to sleep, and I didn’t even wake up when Dad came
back.
The next morning Dad looked terrible. His eyes were
red and he seemed to be in a really bad mood.
“You kids better hurry if you want to eat breakfast
before the funeral.” Dad spoke as we were getting dressed.
“Are we coming back here afterwards?” I asked.
“No, I think we’ll probably just load up and head back
tonight.” Dad grabbed a couple of the suitcases that were
on the floor and added as he went to the door, “Let’s go
ahead and check out. I have a meeting with someone at home
tomorrow afternoon.”
We loaded up the van, and it was eleven o’clock by the
time we got to the restaurant. We were too late for
breakfast, but we really weren’t very hungry anyway.
We drove in that same silence to church. I recognized
most of the streets on the way, and even saw the school I
had attended years before.
I wondered if my old friends, Jimmy and Barry,
were still around. I wondered if they’d built that tree
house. I wished we’d never moved away from here.
Glendale was about the same as I remembered, but it
didn’t seem nearly as large as it was before.
The funeral was at the Methodist Church. I remembered
how frightening Daddy’s funeral had been at the other Church
and was sort of relieved that it wasn’t going to be there.
As we walked in, everyone came over and started crying
and hugging Karen and me. People that we didn’t remember at
all. I could tell they were Mom’s family because of the way
they were carrying on.
Then I saw Uncle Charlie and Aunt Irene. I managed to
get away from the others and ran over to them.
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“Oh, Tommy, you have grown so tall, just like your
father.”
Uncle Charlie held his hand out to shake mine but I
grabbed him and hugged him. I wanted him to make everything
change and for Mommy and Daddy to be here. Aunt Irene
reached over and took me from Uncle Charlie and was crying
as she too hugged and kissed me. After a long while, she
let me go and, stepping back a little, looked at me.
“Tommy, you are really growing up and look just like
Tom did…”
She burst into tears. I felt a tug on my jacket and
saw poor Karen standing behind me. She didn’t really
remember anyone and looked really scared.
Uncle Charlie and Aunt Irene both hugged Karen and I
think that made her feel a little better, but I could tell
she was still confused about everything. I really felt
sorry for her.
We sat by Uncle Charlie and Aunt Irene at the funeral
with Dad sitting by me on the end of the front aisle. I sat
through the whole thing staring at the coffin. I knew that
Mom was supposed to be in it, but I just couldn’t believe
it. It was closed.
We rode in the car with Uncle Charlie, Aunt Irene and Dad to
the cemetery. When we got to the place with the tent and
walked to it, I saw a tombstone by the hole in the ground.
It was Daddy’s grave. I really started to cry when I saw
it. I felt so abandoned, so lost and so empty.
I heard someone behind us whisper that now “they” were
together again, and I felt like I wanted to just die and be
with them too. It just wasn’t fair to me!
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“Jim, Irene and I have talked about it and Tommy and
Karen are more than welcome to stay with us.” Uncle Charlie
spoke to Dad right after the service.
“I don’t know,” Dad answered in a quiet voice, thought
a moment, then added, “I did adopt them and, he hesitated
again before finishing, “it is my responsibility.”
I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van, but
could hear very well what they were saying through the
driver’s window. I think that I really wanted to just get
out, take Karen, and go with them. But I didn’t say
anything as they continued talking.
“You are young, Jim, and the kids need a mom and more
of a family right now,” Aunt Irene added standing beside
Uncle Charlie.
Karen and I both listened carefully as the three of
them continued until finally Dad agreed that maybe we should
give it a try.
“Well, we’ll come to Fairmont next weekend and pick
them up,” Uncle Charlie spoke last as our van pulled away.
“You kids will be better off with your aunt and uncle
for now,” Dad said as we drove away from the cemetery. “It
will just be for a trial and if you don’t like it, then I
will come and get you. After all, I did adopt you.”
I was sort of glad, but also a little confused, and
Karen looked totally blank. She didn’t seem to understand
any of it.
The trip back to Fairmont was just as quiet as the ride
to Glendale had been. We got back late that night and just
left the stuff in the van and went into the house.
Karen and I just wanted to go to bed.
Dad went straight to the kitchen and was getting a
bottle out of the cabinet as we went up the stairs.
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It was almost noon when I woke up the next morning, and
Karen was already in the den watching TV when I came down.
Dad was still in bed so I fixed sandwiches for Karen
and me. I saw the empty bottle on the counter and threw it
in the trash. It was nearly two when Dad finally staggered
down the stairs.
“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner, Tommy?” Dad was
really grumpy and continued, “You knew I had a meeting
today. He’ll be here any minute!”
Dad was fixing coffee when the doorbell rang. I opened
the door and a man in a suit was standing there.
“Hello, you must be Tommy. Is your father home?”
Before I could answer Dad was coming through the
hallway to the front door.
“Hi, Mr. Lawrence. Thanks so much for coming over
here. Would you like a cup of coffee or anything?”
“No, thanks. I’m coffee’d out for the day,” the man
answered as Dad led him into the kitchen.
Karen was still watching the TV, but I could hear the
two men talking from where I sat on the couch.
“Mr. Randall, you know now that this is not going to go
easy for you. You have the previous D.U.I. and this time
there was a fatality involved.”
“But I was just a kid then.” Dad spoke defensively.
“They can’t use something that happened when I was only
seventeen, can they?”
“The courts are getting very serious about this sort of
thing,” Mr. Lawrence spoke with authority as he continued,
“and I assure you it will be considered.”
“Mr. Lawrence, how expensive will it be?” Dad sounded
really worried, “I have a little money left, but not that
much.”
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“I’m afraid the main concern at this point isn’t how
much money,” Mr. Lawrence then added, “and it will cost a
great deal,” Mr. Lawrence hesitated a moment before
finishing, “but the real concern is whether or not we can
keep you out of jail.” Mr. Lawrence didn’t wait for a reply
before he continued, “The one thing that will make a big
difference is the children. I don’t think the judge will
want to put them through any more than is necessary, so he’s
not going to want to see them without a father too. I think
that’ll be the best bet to get you only probation and not
actual jail time.”
They talked for a long time about different things and
Mr. Lawrence finally left.
Dad got another bottle out of the cabinet. After about
an hour Dad picked up the phone and dialed.
“Hello, Irene?” Dad hesitated a moment as he listened.
“This is Jim Randall,” he paused again, “the kids and I
talked on the way home yesterday and decided that for now we
should stay together.” There was a longer pause this time
before Dad continued, “They are in school here, and I don’t
think any more changes would be good.” This time there was
a much longer pause before he finished. “Well, we’ll just
have to see. Maybe later. Well, okay, I’ll let you know.
Goodbye.”
I don’t think Dad knew I had heard because he came in
the den and explained to us that right now Uncle Charlie,
Aunt Irene and he had decided that we shouldn’t move.
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Chapter Eleven
“Why do we have to move? My friends are here and I
don’t want to switch schools.” Karen sounded really sad.
“Now Karen, your brother isn’t putting up a fuss. We
need the money, and you’ll like the apartment. It has a
playground and a swimming pool too.” Dad tried to reassure
Karen.
“But we have a swimming pool here. I don’t want to
move!” Karen objected but finally gave up when she realized
it was no use.
The six months since Mom had died had gone by fast.
Jim had made us go to court with him every time he had to
go. He had said it was because he would feel better with us
there and wanted us to be aware of how a court works.
But I knew the real reason! The judge had given him
six years probation under the condition that he didn’t drink
or get in any other trouble during that time.
I felt so much like speaking up in court, but I didn’t.
He had already sold the van and bought an old Chevy
Chevette. Now that our house was sold most of the money was
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going to his lawyer and the court. He hadn’t been mean to
Karen or me, but he wasn’t doing anything for, or with, us
either.
I’d been fixing most of the meals, and all he did was
drink late every night and sleep all day. Except on the
court days, and then he pretended to be such a great guy.
If the judge had only known! He was a just a jerk! He was
just a rat-jerk! A drunken rat-jerk!
The day the moving people came, I left the house.
I’d been out just walking around the neighborhood and
was almost home when a car stopped and I heard a familiar
voice.
“Tommy, do you want a ride home?”
“Yeah, sure… Thanks Mr., uh,” I thought a moment and
decided to call my friend by his first name, “Larry.”
I got in Larry Barton’s car and he started to drive but
didn’t turn down our street.
“Tommy, what do you say we have a soda?”
“Sure, I’d like one. But I don’t have any money.”
“Don’t worry about that. It’ll be my treat.” Larry
looked over at me and smiled, then continued, “I understand
that you guys are moving?”
“Yeah, the van is there now. We have to move into an
apartment because Jim spent all of our money on his court
costs.”
“Well, sometimes things just happen, Tommy. I wish I
could help you, but I can’t. I hope you understand. I want
to but I can’t.” Larry was shaking his head back and forth
as he talked.
“I know, Larry. He is such a jerk. He only makes us
live with him so he can stay out of jail.”
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“Tommy, don’t say things like that. He is your dad and
you are going to have to live with him,” Larry thought a
second, then added, “whether you like it or not.”
“He is not really my dad! My daddy died a long time
ago. He is a jerk! He’s what you called him a long time
ago? You know, when Mom first started dating him?”
“I don’t remember, Tommy.” Larry shook his head again,
then added, “But I think you should try to get along with
him the best you can. And if things ever, ever get too bad,
you know that you can call me and I will do whatever I can
for you and Karen.”
“Thanks, Larry. I know that. And I also have an aunt
and uncle in Glendale who will help too. But why can’t we
stay here with you now?”
“Tommy, he did adopt you. And there’s nothing I can do
right now. If I could, I would. I hope you know that!”
We stopped and got a soda, and then Larry drove on home
and I got out of his car, said goodbye, and then went in our
old house.
Karen was still crying and Jim was drinking beer and
yelling at the movers when I walked in. They were just
about finished, and I think they were glad too. They
weren’t saying anything to him but Jim was really getting on
their case about everything. When they took out the last of
our things, that weren’t already sold in the garage sale,
Jim told us that we needed to go through the house and clean
up.
We worked the whole afternoon while he drank. The
house was still really dirty that evening, but he said it
was good enough. The people who had bought it hadn’t paid
enough anyway. If that was the case, I don’t know why he
made us work so hard all day in the first place.
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We drove to the apartment, and Karen and I saw it for
the first time. It was OK, but all the rooms were really
small. Our furniture didn’t really fit in the tiny
bedrooms.
The next day he dropped me off at the same school and
took Karen to enroll her in a different elementary school.
I felt so sorry for her. I was lucky, getting to stay in
the same school, and she hadn’t wanted to change.
He told us that he might be late getting home, if that
is what it was, and that I should fix supper for Karen and
me.
I had to ride a different bus home that day and hoped
Karen wouldn’t have trouble getting home by her self.
When I got to the apartment complex, I waited at the
place the buses stopped until Karen got off the bus. I was
so relieved to see her, and I could tell she was just as
glad to see me there!
“Tommy, I want to go live with Uncle Charlie and Aunt
Irene.” Karen spoke as we walked to the apartment.
“I know. So do I. Or at least go back and stay with
Larry Barton.” I had to agree with her even though I knew I
should be trying to make her think things would be fine.
“Could we live with him? In our old neighborhood?”
Karen asked and sounded so hopeful.
“He wouldn’t mind but I don’t think Jim would let us.”
I thought about telling Karen the whole, real, reason but
decided not to. “And he’s already said we can’t go live in
Glendale with Uncle Charlie and Aunt Irene.”
“Why not, Tommy?” Karen sounded really sad. “Just why
not?”
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“We just can’t, Karen!” I finally decided to end this
useless conversation. It was just too frustrating to dwell
on it. “We can’t, and that’s all there is to it!”
I fixed us some canned spaghetti, and we were watching
television when he came home.
“Hi, kids. I’m home early, and I have some great
news!” Jim looked at us smiling and, I guess, expected us
to smile with him as he spoke. “I’m going to be teaching
summer school at the college this summer and we will have
some money again.”
We both continued watching TV and practically ignored
him.
“Hey, come on.” Jim tried again to get us to smile.
“At least look at me.” When he realized we just weren’t
interested, he spoke under his breath as he turned to walk
away, “I am trying, you know!”
We finally did turn and look at him and noticed a grocery
bag in his hands. He had sat it on the kitchen table, which
was really part of the living room, and was taking out some
ice cream and stuff to make banana splits.
It looked good and I was up and on my way before I
realized what I was doing, but Karen was already ahead of
me.
We had fun seeing who could make the best banana
concoction. Jim didn’t drink at all that night, and we had
a fairly good time. After our treat, we sat down at the
table and played Monopoly until bedtime.
It was only a few more weeks until school was out for
the summer. Jim helped us with our homework and we went to
the movies and even did other things together. It was going
better and Jim was only drinking on weekends. He hadn’t
liked it too much when I started calling him Jim, but I told
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him that I was growing up and too old to be saying Dad. He
had said he understood, even though he didn’t, and even
started calling me Tom, instead of Tommy, which I preferred.
When school was finally out, he started to work. I was
in charge of the apartment and took care of Karen. We had
decided that I was old enough, and besides, we couldn’t
really afford a sitter anyway.
The first Saturday his job started, we decided to go to
the river for a picnic.
I got up before it was even light outside and Karen was
up soon afterward. By the time Jim got up we had everything
ready. We stopped at a fried chicken place and got our
lunch, and then stopped at the convenience store and got
soft drinks, ice, and beer.
It was a really pretty day, and we found a beautiful
spot on a hill overlooking the river. Jim and I played
Frisbee, and Karen sat and watched us and kept the score.
After we ate, we all went on a long walk along the
trail beside the riverbank. The water was so clear in the
river we could actually see the fish swimming.
“Tom, man, don’t you wish we’d brought the fishing
gear?”
Jim didn’t sound like he needed an answer so I didn’t.
But I agreed. I wish we could go fishing again like we’d
done before.
We made our way back to the table, and Karen grabbed a
cold soda out of the ice chest. Jim reached in and got a
beer, then reached back in and got another and handed it my
way.
“I think you deserve this, Tom. After all the things
you are doing that an adult is supposed to do, you deserve
an adult drink.”
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“No,” I thought a second then, with more certainty said
again, “no thanks, I just want a soda.”
I knew the beer wouldn’t taste good anyway and I just
didn’t like what they made people, like Jim, do. I didn’t
ever say anything, but I didn’t really like him drinking
beer either.
He just shrugged his shoulders and got me a soda
instead. He didn’t get drunk that day and we had a really
nice time. Maybe things were going to get better for Karen
and me.
---------------------
“Oh,” young Larry whispered so he wouldn’t wake his Mom
and Sister in the back seat, “I hope so.”
Hearing his son’s voice reminded Tom that he was
telling, and not just remembering, the story. He forced a
weak smile at his son before continuing his story.
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Chapter Twelve
Thirteen years old! A teenager!
I guess thirteen is sort of an unlucky number because that
summer wasn’t the best for a brand new teenager.
Sure, I got to sleep in every morning. Then every
afternoon I got to put on my swimsuit and head to the pool,
which was filled with girls in their swimsuits.
But the girls were all Karen’s age or younger! And
when an occasional older girl came to the pool, she wouldn’t
stay long because of all the noise and splashing of the
younger kids.
The only older gal who stayed most of the time was Mrs.
Dinkins. She was the mother of three of the kids and the
self-appointed lifeguard of the apartment complex. She just
lay by the pool like a walrus, she was as big as one and had
as many whiskers too, and read books. A lot of the other
parents trusted her to watch their kids, but I just didn’t
trust her to watch Karen. If something happened to Karen, I
don’t know what I would have done. I just couldn’t bear to
risk leaving her alone. She was really all I felt I had.
So even though I wanted to go hang out at the mall, where
the girls were, I didn’t. I spent every afternoon during
the week having kids splash water on me.
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The first month or so of the summer, Jim was teaching
something other than psychology and was having a little
trouble with his lessons at first. It was something for
students who were right out of high school, to help them get
ready for college in the fall.
On Saturdays, he would stay home and let me go do what
I wanted to though. The kids at the mall were there all
week and didn’t want me to be in their group only on
Saturdays, so I would usually just walk around town doing
really nothing at all. Anyway, it was sure nice to, at
least one day a week, be away from the little kids. The
closest thing to a girlfriend that I had was a couple of
Karen’s little friends who said I was their boyfriend.
On most Sundays, the three of us would go to the river.
It was OK, but Jim usually drank too much beer and most of
the time he would get mad about something or the other and
spoil the day. He could really be a jerk when he drank too
much. And that was really often.
Now it was the end of July and the summer was nearly
over. This Saturday Jim said that we would go to Water-
World to celebrate my birthday. It was a really neat place
and there would be girls my age there. I could hardly wait.
“Tommy, do you like my new bathing suit? I got it
especially for your birthday trip.” Denise smiled and did a
little turn around as she spoke.
Denise was going with us. She was one of Karen’s
friends. One of the little girls that thought I was her
boyfriend.
“It’s OK, Denise. Karen will be right down.” I didn’t
really know how to respond to her statement so I just, sort
of, changed the subject.
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I’d thought it would be a good idea for Karen to take a
friend along. Sort of keep her occupied and away from me
but now I wished she hadn’t asked Denise. I only hoped that
Karen and Denise didn’t try to follow me around the whole
day. We loaded into the Chevette and headed out.
“Tommy,” Denise spoke from the back seat where she and
Karen were riding, “can I ride the double slide with you?”
I didn’t answer her and instead turned to Jim.
“Don’t let them follow me around all day, Jim. Would
you please, please stay with them and let me be alone?”
“Hey girls!” Jim looked over his shoulder and winked
at Denise and Karen. “The three of us will have a good time
together, and we can let Tom go chase the women, okay?”
Denise looked like her feelings were hurt, but I didn’t
care. I wasn’t going to spend this whole day baby-sitting.
Water-World is a very large place with a lot of
different things to do and it didn’t take me long to lose
the children and Jim. I tried most of the things at least
once, but decided I liked the high waterslide the best. It
had a timer for speed competition against everyone else.
Plus, the starter, the person who said when to go and set
the clock, wasn’t much older than I was and she was so
pretty. My time was getting faster each trip and by the
fourth trip I could tell she was impressed and seemed to
like me.
“You’re getting pretty good.” She smiled and spoke to
me about the fifth or sixth time I climbed up to the
starting point. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Tom,” I answered her, but my mind just went blank
and I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Well, Tom, my name’s Jeanie.” She smiled and didn’t
hesitate a second before adding, “Get ready and go!”
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This wasn’t a very good run for me. I was a little
slow getting off the ramp and onto the slide. Jeanie is
such a cute name. I don’t know if I’ve ever known a Jeanie
before. I’ll bet she’s not that much older than me, and
besides, everyone says I am so tall that I look much older
than twelve, now thirteen, anyway.
I kept going on that slide over and over, and each time
she would talk with me more and more. She didn’t seem to be
talking with the other boys nearly as much as with me,
either. She would sort of talk with all the kids a little
bit, but she knew my name, and I knew hers!
Then it happened. I had completely forgotten about the
children being at Water-World too. I’d just gotten back in
line at the bottom of the stairs when I heard them.
“There’s Tommy. Hurry, we can be right behind him.”
Before I knew what was happening, Denise was in line
right behind me with Karen and then, Jim, behind her. I
started to get out of line and go somewhere else but I
wanted to see Jeanie again. I tried to ignore Denise and I
looked back and gave Jim sort of a dirty look. He looked
back at me apologetically and shrugged his shoulders to let
me know that it was an accident. I hoped he could manage to
get them away from here after this trip.
We all four got to the top and were in line together
when I stepped up beside Jeanie. Denise was still talking
to me so Jeanie didn’t say anything special. Then I heard
her say pretty loudly.
“Well, hi there, good-looking!”
I felt so proud but as I turned around to look at her I
noticed that she wasn’t looking at me at all. I was shocked
when I saw that she was looking straight at Jim.
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“Well, hi Jeanie.” Jim smiled as soon as he saw her
and then added, “I didn’t know you worked here.”
I was stunned. How did they know each other? On the
way down the slide I kept trying to figure it out. Maybe
she was the daughter of one of the professors at the
college. Denise, Karen and Jim were right behind me again
on the next trip up the stairs. I hadn’t said a word to any
of them on the way up the stairs, but I was really curious.
When it was my turn again, Jeanie took the opportunity to
explain things to me.
“Tom, I’m in your dad’s class at the college. I was
just telling him how fast you’ve been going.”
I didn’t even wait for her to set the clock before I started
this time. I got to the bottom and out of the water before
Denise, or the others, could get down to me and, quickly,
took off to another slide. I figured I would wait until
Karen, Denise and Jim left that slide for another one, then
go back and talk to Jeanie some more.
She was older than I thought she was if she was in
college, but I knew she liked me. I did wonder why she
called Jim ‘good looking’ though. She was much too young
for him!
I finally noticed Jim, Karen, and Denise had gone to
another area and headed back to the timed slide where Jeanie
was. When I got to the top, and up to Jeanie, she asked me
about Jim.
“Tom, I know your dad isn’t married.” She smiled and
looked away from me as she asked the next question. “Is he
dating anyone now?”
“No, he doesn’t date, I don’t think,” I answered just
as I took off down the slide again.
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Why was she so interested in Jim’s dating? What
difference could it make if a guy’s dad dated? Each trip
after that she would ask me about Jim or Karen or about
things we all did. It was getting close to the time we’d
agreed to meet at the pavilion for lunch. The next time up
the slide, Jeanie said that she was almost ready for a break
and wondered if I’d like to have a soda or something with
her. I couldn’t believe it. I told her that I would love
to, but that I had to go meet the others for lunch.
“Would it be okay if I went with you?” Jeanie asked in
a way that nobody could have refused.
“Sure, yeah, sure.” I was surprised at first but
quickly agreed. “I’ll wait for you at the stairs.”
When I saw her coming down the stairs, it was the first
time I had seen her standing up. She was really beautiful!
While we walked toward the pavilion area, she was still
asking questions about me, and my family.
“Mr. Randall, Tom said it would be okay if I joined you
for lunch.”
“Why, of course, Jeanie. And just call me Jim.”
“Or I guess I could just call you what every girl in
class calls you, good looking!”
Jeanie was smiling at him as she spoke. We set out the
things we’d brought for lunch on the table and Jeanie sat
down beside Jim. Before I could get to that side, Karen sat
on Jeanie’s other side, which left me on the other side of
the picnic table with Denise, who didn’t seem to mind at
all. It didn’t take me long to figure out that Jeanie was
more interested in Jim than she was in me. I couldn’t
believe that he would steal her away from me that way! I
was really ready to go on home right after lunch, but the
others wanted to stay longer. I finally gave in and let
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Denise follow me around, and we had a pretty good time on
all the other slides and stuff. Jim and Karen kept going on
the timed slide the rest of the day. I was really pretty
glad when we finally went home.
Chapter Thirteen
I think Denise had talked to Karen before we left
because when we loaded into the car Karen started to get
into the front seat with Jim.
“Karen, you never ride in the front! Get out of there
and in the back! I mean it!” I probably sounded more
hateful than I’d intended, but I’d just gone past my limit.
“Tom, don’t you talk to your sister that way. She
isn’t hurting anything, and if she wants to ride up here,
she can.” Jim gave me a really stern look as he spoke.
Jim sounded annoyed but I was not going to give in to
this ploy.
“Well, I’ll just walk home then.” I stepped back away
from the car and folded my arms across my chest and stood
still after I’d spoken.
“Sure, sure, it’s only nine or ten miles.” Jim shook
his head in disbelief as he spoke, then he added with a tone
that didn’t allow for argument, “Now get in the car. We’re
all tired and want to get home.”
This had been a terrible day. And it was my birthday
too! I went ahead and got in the backseat but let Denise
know, with a look, that her plan wouldn’t work. She moved
closer to her side of the back seat and I leaned against the
door on mine. But as small as a Chevette’s backseat is, we
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were still closer than I wanted to be. After a short while
I glanced over at her and did feel a little bad. It really
wasn’t her fault and she looked so hurt.
“Well, damn! Damn, damn, damn! I know good and well I
wasn’t speeding. Damn!”
I’d never heard Jim talk that way before and couldn’t
imagine what had happened. He was looking up in the
rearview mirror as he pulled off the road. I looked back
over my shoulder and saw the police car with its lights
flashing behind us and pulling over right behind us.
Jim just sat in the driver’s seat silently as the
officer walked up to the car.
“I need to see your license, sir.”
“But officer, I know I wasn’t speeding.” Jim sounded
really anxious and defensive and then added, “In fact, I was
going slower than fifty-five.”
“Sir, you failed to signal your turn at the last
intersection.” The officer had his ticket book out as he
explained and then asked again. “Could I see your license,
please?”
Jim reached into his back pocket and pulled out his
billfold still pleading with the officer.
“We’ve been to Water-World all day and are tired,
officer. I guess I just forgot to signal. I will be more
careful next time.” Jim finally got out his license and
handed it to the officer.
“This is a restricted license, Mr. Randall. Wait here
and I’ll be back.”
The officer went back to the patrol car and we sat in
total silence. After what seemed like a very long time, the
officer came back to the car.
“Mr. Randall, would you get out of the car, please?”
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Jim got out and the officer continued, “Mr. Randall,
you are driving with a suspended license and I am going to
have to take you in.”
“But it isn’t suspended!” Jim now sounded very
frightened. As Jim opened the door and started to get out
of the car to the officer’s orders, he added, “I am allowed
to drive in the daytime!”
“Sir, your restriction only allows you to drive to and
from work, appointments, or for household goods and
shopping.” The officer explained what he knew that Jim must
also know, then continued, “Please turn around and place
your hands behind you.”
Jim continued to plead as the officer put the handcuffs
on him and led him back to the patrol car where he put Jim
in the backseat.
I was really scared, and Karen and Denise were crying
when the officer came back.
“Now, kids, it’s going to be OK. I have to take your
dad in to take care of this matter, but another car is on
the way to give you kids a ride.”
About that time another patrol car pulled up in front
of our Chevette. A lady officer got out of the police car
and came back to our car. She was trying so hard to be nice
but we were scared. She tried to tell us that everything
was going to be fine, but her words did nothing to take away
our fears.
She took us to a juvenile detention center, and I just
knew that we were in trouble too. We figured we’d be locked
up even though there weren’t any cells or bars inside.
Instead we were placed in a room with a television, but we
didn’t feel like watching it. The lady officer was talking
to the warden at the front desk, and they were both looking
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over at us as they talked. I couldn’t hear what they were
saying though. Finally, the warden came to us and asked if
our mother was at home. I told her that my mother was dead;
Karen nodded as I spoke. Then, Denise said that her Mom was
probably home. I sure wished my Mom had been at home to
come get us and make things OK.
Why had Mom married him? Why had she left us with him?
He was nothing but trouble!
The warden wrote down Denise’s mom’s name and the phone
number, and then went back to the desk.
Were we going to have to stay here? Were they going to
take us to jail? For what seemed like hours, I kept
thinking about all of the things that might happen to us.
Finally, we saw Denise’s mom walk through the front
door, and Denise ran to her crying. I guessed that she was
going to be released, but what was going to happen to Karen
and me?
Denise’s mom talked for a long time with the warden
before she came over to us.
“Why don’t you two come stay with me until this is
settled?” She looked worried but did try to smile.
She didn’t have to ask again. Karen jumped up and
hugged her. We were so glad to leave that place, and on the
way home Denise’s mom said that we could spend the night if
it was necessary. I just wanted to go home. But I
couldn’t.
It was late when Jim showed up at Denise’s apartment.
He didn’t say much. He thanked Denise’s mom and we walked
to our apartment.
“Where’s the car, Jim?” I asked as we passed the empty
parking spot in front of our apartment.
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“They impounded it.” Jim hesitated then added, “It’ll
be Monday before I can get it.” He hesitated again, “But
I’m probably going to have to sell it anyway.” Jim bent his
head and looked down as he finished, “I can’t drive it any
more!”
He sounded upset so I didn’t ask him anything else. We
walked into the apartment and Karen went straight to her
room. I sat down in the living room and turned the
television on but wasn’t really watching it. Jim went to
the kitchen and opened a bottle and sat there silently
drinking.
On Monday Jim called in and said that he couldn’t make
it in to work. A man he knew came and got him and he told
us they would be back later.
“Tommy, what’s going to happen? What will we do
without a car?” Karen had been keeping quiet but as soon as
Jim left she immediately asked.
“I don’t know, Karen.” I shook my head and then added,
“But I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Don’t worry.
I’ll always take care of you!”
We just sat in the apartment that day.
Late that afternoon Jim came back. The man that had
taken him to work came in with him, and they sat in the
kitchen drinking beer and talking.
I heard them talking about getting the car out of
impound and selling it at a car lot. I knew from what they
were saying that the money from selling the car hadn’t been
enough to pay for the fines and everything and Jim was
worried about where he would get the rest of the money he
needed. The two of them must have each had six beers before
the man left; then, Jim got out his bottle of liquor and was
still drinking when Karen and I went to bed.
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During the next week, Jim rode to work almost every day
with someone different. I also noticed that he was taking
different things from the apartment each day and not
bringing them back in the afternoon. I guessed he was
selling our things to get the money for court the next
Monday. He must have finally sold enough because the day of
court he did come back home. I didn’t know what I would
have done if he hadn’t. I had thought a lot about calling
Larry, or Uncle Charlie, but hadn’t.
About a week later, while he was at work, the phone
rang and I answered it.
“Is Mr. Randall there?”
“No, he isn’t right now.” I knew not to say he was at
work in case it was someone, bad, who might come over
knowing no parents were home for the day.
“Would you tell him to call Mr. Lennox at First Bank
when he gets in?”
“OK, I’ll tell him.” I spoke as I was writing down the
number that he gave me.
The man thanked me and hung up. I knew that was the
bank where Mom had her checking and bankcard.
That night I told Jim about the call, gave him the
note, and he looked worried but didn’t say anything else.
The next afternoon Mr. Lennox called again. He said
that it was urgent that Jim give him a call. I told Jim
again, and after about four more days of this, Mr. Lennox
finally just told me that we were overdrawn on the checking
and bankcard and if he didn’t hear from Jim soon, that he
would simply have to take action. I told Jim that night and
he didn’t say anything. He just shook his head as he went
to the cabinet, opened the door, and opened another bottle.
It seems he always had enough money to buy those bottles
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even if there wasn’t enough for Karen and me to go to the
movies or anything.
That Saturday, which was now nearly the middle of
August, the apartment manager came to the door. It was
early and I was in the living room with Karen watching
television. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I
could tell they were both upset. When the manager left, Jim
came into the living room and told us that we needed to move
closer to the campus. He said that without a car he needed
to be close enough to ride a bike, or even walk, to and from
work. He said he’d find a place but we should start packing
our stuff up during the next week and get ready to move.
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Chapter Fourteen
“Tommy, why do we have to move?” Karen asked but then
made a disgusting face and added, “I don’t like that old
house at all. It’s filthy and old and ugly.”
“Karen, I don’t like it either but we don’t have any
choice. Jim has spent all of Mom’s money and that old house
is all he can afford.”
“Why don’t we go live with Uncle Charlie and Aunt
Irene?” Karen was trying desperately to figure some other
way. “Or go back to our old neighborhood and live with Mr.
Barton?”
“I wish we could too, Karen,” I was in complete
agreement with her, but I knew we couldn’t and I tried to
explain it to Karen, “but Jim adopted us and there is
nothing anyone can do to help. He needs us to live with him
or the judge will send him to jail.”
“I wish they would send him to jail so we wouldn’t have
to live in that creepy old house.”
Karen was really upset about moving. I wasn’t happy
about it either. We had been working for two days moving
our belongings into that old house. Jim had a friend with a
pickup truck helping us, and this was the last load.
It almost seemed like Jim was enjoying it. He had
bought a lot of beer for himself and the friend to drink
while we moved. On every trip to the old house, he would
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talk about living near the college and all of the “party”
houses that were in that neighborhood.
We finally loaded up and, at least this time, Jim told
us not to bother to clean up. He said the manager had been
a creep and wouldn’t give us back the deposit anyway.
Denise came over to say goodbye to Karen as we were
about to leave for the last time. They were still talking,
and wanting to talk some more, when Jim told the guy driving
to go.
Karen and I were in the back of the pickup with the
furniture and Karen waved at Denise as we pulled out.
As we were leaving Denise called out at us, “Karen,
I’ll miss you…, and you too, Tommy!”
I waved at her and smiled.
The street that the house was on wasn’t even paved. It
was just a couple of blocks from campus. Most of the
streets around the campus were nice but this was just sort
of an alley that had little houses with no yards built on
each side of it. Actually most of them were just old
garages that had been converted into apartments. With all
the broken windows and so many boards falling off the sides,
nobody would think anyone even lived in them, but people
did, and I guess we would too.
The one we were moving into had been a house someplace
else. It had been moved there and put on blocks. It leaned
a little to one end and I wondered if it would fall over if
a storm came. It had a screen door, but the screen was
mostly gone. The door itself had a hole in the bottom that
looked like someone had kicked it. The living room was
small and Jim had put his bed there with the couch because
the house only had two small bedrooms. At least Karen and I
were going to get them! The bathroom was terrible. Even
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though we had cleaned it as well we could, the sink, toilet,
and tub still looked filthy. There were stains that looked
disgusting on all of them. The toilet didn’t flush right
and it took several times to get anything to go down. Plus,
you had to mop the floor every time you flushed because the
toilet leaked. The kitchen was just as bad. But at least
we still had our good refrigerator.
The cabinets were filled with roaches even after we
sprayed, and there was a hole in the wood floor under the
sink and you could tell that rats had been living there.
We did still have the television, but without cable or
even a real antenna, we could only get two fuzzy channels.
We tried to adjust that cheap little antenna so we could get
more channels, but it was just not going to work.
Jim said that we would get a phone later on, but we
just couldn’t afford it right then.
That first night was a nightmare. I wasn’t asleep yet
when I heard Karen scream. I ran into her room and she was
standing on her bed screaming and crying. I saw the rat on
the floor. It was huge! Jim was right behind me and as he
came into the room he grabbed the broom that was by Karen’s
door and started chasing the rat around the room. The rat
made it to the kitchen and under the sink where the rat
disappeared through the hole. We left the lights on the
rest of the night. Karen slept in my room with me, but I
never did go to sleep at all. Every time I thought I might
be able to sleep I’d hear a creak and thought it might be
that rat, or some of its friends, coming back. I just hoped
that rats were as afraid of the light, as humans were of the
dark. And, I wondered if the rats liked Jim. After all,
they were a lot alike.
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The next day Jim went to work and Karen and I worked on
cleaning the house some more. She was still trying to clean
the tub but the porcelain was almost gone and I kept telling
her she was wasting her time. I found some boards outside
that had fallen off the side of the house and nailed one
over the hole under the sink. I searched the house and
found several more holes and did the same to each of them.
I hoped I’d found them all.
When Jim got home that afternoon he had a grocery bag
under one arm and another small sack in his other hand. He
sat them on the table and I looked inside. He had bought
some sandwich stuff at the little store on the corner and
there was some bluish/white powder in a little jar in the
other bag.
“Tom, be careful with that!” Jim yelled at me and came
over and took it away from me when he saw I was looking at
it. “That’s poison, it’s cyanide.” He relaxed a little
when he had it in his hands, and then continued to explain,
“I got it from the chemistry lab from a friend of mine. I’m
going to mix it with cheese and get that rat.”
After we ate our sandwiches and had put everything
away, Jim rolled some of the powder into the leftover slices
of cheese. We all three went around the old house looking
for just where to put the poison. Jim wanted to make sure
we all saw every place he put it.
“You two be careful because this stuff is strong!” Jim
spoke with real concern and added, “But even just a tiny bit
of cyanide will kill any rat!”
That was the last week of summer school for Jim. He
went to work every day and I had found a park close by and
took Karen there every day. We sure didn’t want to stay in
that house any more than we had to.
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There was a library a few blocks away and we could get
books there, and then go to the park to read them. The
books were a kind of escape from the terrible things at that
old house. Reading those adventures helped take our minds
off the house and the rats and roaches. I guess our own
adventure would have probably made a good book too, but I
just didn’t want to have to even think about it anymore than
necessary.
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Chapter Fifteen
“Where are you two going?”
Jim was still in bed. We woke him when I bumped into
his bed as we were going to the door.
“To the park.” I tried to sound as calm as possible
even though he’d startled me. “We go to the park every
day.”
I kept walking as I spoke and Karen was right behind
me. We spent that day as we’d spent the last week, reading
at the park.
When we got home, Jim was already drinking again, and
he was on his way to becoming getting pretty drunk. As he
was getting dressed he told us he might be home, I couldn’t
believe he called that dump home, late. He told us that he
was going to some beginning-of-semester party.
We watched television until about ten o’clock that
night. But around ten Karen went to bed. About midnight I
finally fell asleep too, but woke up when Jim came in around
three in the morning. I could hear him stumbling over the
furniture and mumbling to himself. I hoped he wouldn’t wake
Karen up. She’d been having enough trouble sleeping as it
was. She just couldn’t forget that rat.
I heard him in the kitchen and I knew he was looking
for a bottle. He still managed to always keep plenty around
even though he said we were always broke.
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After about half an hour he finally got quiet. I guess
he went to sleep. Maybe he’d just keep sleeping and
wouldn’t wake up again. Ever!
Every night that week he went to some party, somewhere.
Half the time when he’d get back and start drinking in the
kitchen, he’d be so noisy that it would wake Karen up.
She’d always sneak into my room because she was afraid. Jim
never threatened or hurt Karen, or me for that matter, but
we just didn’t trust him. We especially didn’t trust him
when he was so drunk. If only he would just stay out all
night and let her sleep!
On Saturday he left earlier than usual. He said that a
bunch of the students he knew were meeting at a fraternity
house for a barbecue. He told us it was an early party and
he shouldn’t be too late getting home.
After he left the house I looked in the cabinet and saw
that he only had one bottle there, and it was about half
empty. I poured all but a little out in the sink so he
wouldn’t stay up drinking so late. Maybe that would help
Karen get a good night’s sleep.
That night he got back around midnight. I heard him go
straight to the cabinet and get the bottle. It didn’t take
him long to finish what little was left and he went to
sleep. Karen hadn’t been awakened.
For the next two nights I did the same thing with the
new bottles he’d bring home, and it worked again on both
nights.
The third night I found an unopened bottle and didn’t
think I should break the seal. I knew he’d figure that out.
He came in and after about an hour of drinking got really
loud again. Poor Karen woke up, and I guess she had taken
all she could take.
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“Would you just shut up?” Karen yelled at Jim as she
came out of her room and rounded the corner to come into
mine.
“What do you mean shut up?” Jim snarled back quickly,
hesitated, and then added, “Little lady.” Jim’s speech was
slurred badly, but I could tell he was mad. “Young lady, I
pay the rent here and I’ll be as loud as I want to be!”
He was yelling at her at the top of his drunken voice.
I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the door and got
between Karen and him.
“You leave my sister alone!” I was as tall as Jim, and
at that moment wondered if I weren’t as strong too. “You’re
not our father! You only want us here to keep yourself out
of jail!”
“Why, you little punk…”
He had started toward me but I shut the bedroom door in
his face. I was really afraid he was going to come in and
hurt us both, but he didn’t.
We both sat on the bed and listened as he sat back down
and drank, and cussed, and drank.
The next night he was gone again to some other party.
I poured most of what was in the only bottle we found into
the sink, and then brought Karen into my room with me.
“Why did you pour it out, Tommy?”
I explained to her what I’d been doing and we both
laughed at how stupid he was. We were both still awake when
he got in that night. We’d left the door to my room partly
open so we could watch him.
He came in and staggered to the kitchen. He opened the
cabinet and got out the bottle. This time he did notice
that some of it was gone and started yelling at the top of
his lungs. I just knew that we were in real trouble.
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“Someone has been drinking my liquor! I thought so
before, and now I know it! I marked this bottle before I
left tonight and now most of it is gone!” Jim was mad but
he also had a very evil grin as he yelled at us. “Tommy!
Karen! Get your butts in here! Right now!”
I was really scared. I told Karen to stay in the
bedroom and I went into the kitchen alone.
“Tommy,” Jim looked right at me and held out the bottle
as he spoke, “has anyone been coming in here when I’m gone?”
“No,” I could hear my voice cracking with fear as I
continued to answer him, “no, I don’t think so.” I thought
really fast and then added, “But Karen and I go to the park
a every day and the lock on the front door doesn’t work that
well.”
“Well, I want you to keep a closer eye on the house,
from now on, when I’m not here. You hear me?”
I was so relieved and went quickly back to the bedroom
where Karen was still peeking through the doorway. We
watched him as he finished most of what was left in that
bottle. He was pretty drunk when he’d gotten home, but now
he was really drunk.
Just before he drank the last of it, his arm just
stopped in mid air as he was lifting it to pour it in the
glass. We saw him grin. It was an evil grin on his face as
he went over and began digging in a drawer. We watched as
he found the container with the cyanide in it. He kept that
stupid drunken grin as he poured the powder into the almost
empty bottle and then put the lid back on. He shook the
bottle really well and then placed it back in the cabinet.
But this time he put it right in the front of the cabinet
where it would be easily seen.
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“Now we will just find out who’s stealing from me!
Nobody gets away with stealing from me!” He was so drunk
that he barely made it to his bed before falling soundly to
sleep.
The next morning, before he woke up, I got the bottle
out of the cabinet and was going to throw it away.
“What if he misses it and gets real mad, Tommy?”
Karen was right. He might get mad enough to hurt us
both. Plus, he might figure out that it had been me all
along pouring out his liquor.
I decided to simply put it in a different cabinet. That way
no one would be able to find it and accidentally drink it.
But if he said anything about where it was, then I could
pretend to help him find it, and he would never know that he
hadn’t put it in the other cabinet by mistake.
After all, he’d been so drunk that he couldn’t possibly
remember exactly where he’d put it in the first place.
The next day he went to the grocery store and got a few
things to eat. He also went to the liquor store and bought
some more bottles. If he had missed the other bottle, he
hadn’t said anything. I’m not sure he even remembered
yelling at us the night before. I was afraid to touch his
bottles again and so he got back on the same routine of
going to parties, coming in late, drinking and being too
loud.
Karen was sleeping in my room all the time now. I
think we both felt safer with her there. He wasn’t violent,
but we really didn’t know what he might be capable of when
he was that drunk.
One night, a few days later, he came in about two
o’clock. He was as drunk as we had ever seen him. Karen
woke up when he tripped over his bed going to the kitchen.
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He had fallen against a rocker and it had broken as he fell
over it.
It took him a long time to get up, and I was wondering
if he might have been hurt really bad. We had the door to
my room slightly open and were both watching him.
He did get up though and, partially staggering and
partially limping, made his way into the kitchen, cussing
all the way.
He opened the cabinet and got out his last bottle,
opened it, and drank the last large swallow that was in it.
He really started cursing loudly now as he dug through
that cabinet looking for another bottle. He lost his
balance again but, this time, caught himself on a kitchen
chair and sat down.
For a long time he just sat in that chair cussing and
mumbling.
Then he managed to get back up and go back to the
cabinet and felt around in it again. He still didn’t find
anything so he opened another door and looked where the
glasses were, feeling around and knocking some of them out
and onto the floor.
They crashed down and most of them broke. He then did
the same where the plates were, breaking a lot of them too.
The third cabinet he opened was where I had hidden the
bottle days before.
He reached in, knocking the flour and sugar out on the
floor, and then he found it. He suddenly had a smile on his
ugly, drunken face as he staggered back and fell into the
chair.
He reached down and picked up one of the unbroken
glasses from the floor. He then slowly twisted the lid off
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Created by Rich Eubanks
that almost empty bottle of liquor and poured all of what
was left into the small glass, nearly filling it.
“Tommy,” Karen’s voice cracked as she whispered in
fear, “shoudn’t we say something to him?” Karen paused as
she watched Jim slowly raising the glass to his mouth. She
then turned her face from him and looked at me as she
whispered again, “Shouldn’t we warn him?”
I thought for a short moment and began slowly shaking
my head back and forth, and I still remember quietly
whispering back, “No,” I remember pausing again for just a
second before finishing, “no, Karen. Cyanide kills rats.”
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Created by Rich Eubanks
About the writer
Rich Eubanks has been a lot of things in his life. At eight his family moved from a small town farm to a college town and he got his first job as a paperboy. At twelve he also began working at restaurants and by high school he was night manager of a popular college restaurant. After graduation he went into the Air Force and spent almost seven years as a Combat Controller. In this elite outfit he was an Air Traffic Controller, survival expert, and master parachutist among other skills. During his last year of service he met his love and they decided the military wasn't for them, so he took his discharge and became a police officer in his hometown of Norman, Oklahoma. Law enforcement just wasn't financially rewarding enough and after a couple of years Rich decided to get into sales and spent fifteen years in auto sales and sales management allowing his wife to complete her education. But during all of these years, and jobs, Rich loved to write. So, as planned by the two of them, when Carol, Rich's wife, finished her Master's at the University of Oklahoma the two moved to Florida where Rich could write full time. For a year Rich did just that but soon realized that writing is an art, and very few artists make a good living at their hobby. So, Rich found a job with the Postal Service that wasn't mentally demanding and allowed him to continue, if only part time, his passion. Along with tons of other things over the years, Rich has written eight chapbooks and three young/adult novels.
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