crying_game

8/7/2019 Crying_Game

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The Crying Game1

Ourbestunderstandingoftearscomesnotfromthemedicaland

psychologicalsciencesbutfrominnumerablepoetic,fictional,

dramatic,andcinematicrepresentationsofthehumanproclivityto

weep.TomLutz,Crying:TheNaturaland

CulturalHistoryofTears(19)

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August 21 , 2005: the a i r ing of the l ast ep i sode of HBOs S ix Feet Under s f i ve

season run. At i t s end C la i re , the youngest of the F i sher ch i ldren, prepares to leave

for NewYork , where a job in photography awa i ts . A f ter tear fu l goodbyes on the

porch of the F i sher and D iaz Funera l Home(even her dead brother Nate i s there to

b id her ad ieu) , she dr i ves away in her Toyota Pr ius and, w i th S ia s Breathe Me

p lay ing on the mix CD boyfr iend (and future husband) Ted has g i ven her for the t r ip ,

heads east .

As she dr i ves , sobbing a t t imes uncontro l l ab ly , we wi tness scenes f romthe

future l i ves of each of SFUs p r inc ip le characters and then, in turn , the i r deaths : Ruth

passes away in bed wi th her surv iv ing fami ly a t her s ide , Ke i th i s k i l l ed in a robbery ,

Dav id (a t a p i cn i c ) and Feder i co (on a c ru i se sh ip) succumbto apparent heart a t tacks ,

Brenda d ies as her brother B i l l y drones on. Though i t i s by no means c lear whether

a l l these cu lminat ions a re to be taken as the dr i ver s ownmindscreen imag in ings or

part of the of f i c ia l narra t i ve i t se l f , C la i re herse l f i s not spared: she d ies in her bed,

a t the age of 102 , in a roomf i l l ed wi th her awardwinn ing photographs. We l inger for

a moment on her ca tarac t scarred eyes and then, in a s tunning match cut , return to

her s t i l l f resh , beaut i fu l , young eyes as they gaze out on the road ahead.

1 My thanks to K im Akass (London-based independent scholar and

editor), Michele Byers, Cynth ia Burkhead (Universi ty of North Alabama, USA),

Rhonda Wi lcox (Gordon Col lege, USA), Janet McCabe (ManchesterMetropol i tan Universi ty, UK), H i l lary Robson (Middle Tennessee State

Universi ty, USA), and Sue Turnbul l (LaTrobe Universi ty, Austra l ia) for shar ingtheir thoughts on te lev is ion and tears.


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And I , s i t t ing in my l i v ing room in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, have

erupted into i r repress ib le c ry ing . Thoughposs ib ly my most

intense mediated weeping , i t was certa in ly not my f i r s t . The

ending of ToKi l l a Mockingbird ( He would be there a l l n ight ,

and he would be there when Jemwakedup in the morn ing)

has mademeb lubber s ince I was a teenage boy . At the age of

forty , the ending of a mat inee of Fie ld of Dreams ( Hey Dad,

do you want to have a ca tch?) l e f t mes i t t ing a lone in the theatre t ry ing


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to gather myse l f before I took my sa l ty eyes out into the a f ternoonsun. I t was

certa in ly my most insp i ra t iona l c ry , however , for th i s book was the resu l t .

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I t a l l began wi th a co lumn I neededto wr i te , wear ing my te lev i s ionscholar

hat , for the on l ine journa l F low. Nowthat te lev i s ion i s my major obsess ion , the l i v ing

room i s my va le of tears . 2NorthernExposure, TheSopranos, NYPDBlue, Deadwood,

G i lmore G ir l s , Veron icaMars , Batt lestar Ga lact i ca ,Doctor Who, L i fe on Mars (BBC

vers ion) these and other showshave of ten unmannedme.

Nos ing le te lev i s ion showhas openedthe tear ducts qu i te l i ke Buffy the

VampireS layer . Buf fy be ing g i ven the C lass Protector award in The Prom; Anya s

po ignant speech in The Body3; Buf fy s death (her second) in The G i f t ; the f ina l

conversat ion in Chosen, the ser ies f ina le ( Yeah Buf fy , what a re wegonna to do now?)these and a score of other moments jerked my tears . The tears I shed were

part of my bonding wi th the showat least as important as the count less l aughs i t

insp i red .

So I dec ided to wr i te about te lev i s ion and c ry ing . Certa in I was not a lone in

the regu lar i ty of my c ry ing before the box, I sought the op in ions of a number of

co l leagues , a l l te lev i s ion scholars , and though I madeno c la imto a systemat i c

sampl ing , I foundthe responses of great interest . Here a re somed i scover ies

( reported in my co lumn) of note :

A w ide var iety of te lev i s ion shows, f romChampiontheWonderHorse to

Neighbours, Roseanne , The West Wing, Desperate Housewives ,4andGrey s Anatomy,

have openedthe f lood gates .

Severa l noted that end ingsof ep i sodes , seasons , ser iesoften prove to be

more tear jerky .5

2 As in so many other ways, te lev is ion is f i lms poor stepchi ld when i t

comes to understanding the respect ive media s generat ion of tears. Neale,Harper and Porter, and Turnbul l , for example, have a l l of fered excel lent

studies of movie cry ing.3 Masson discusses, and quotes in fu l l , Anya s speech in her essay in

th is volume.4 Interest ingly, two of my respondents, Akass and McCabe respect ively,

c lose fr iends and wri t ing partners, d id and didn t cry at the same Desperate

Housewives episode. For McCabe, the explanat ion lay in household f low: herv iewing of the pivota l Desperate scene, which she found moving and sad,

came after dea l ing with a teeth ing baby and c leaning up the dinner d ishes.She wasn' t in the TV zone and had not ach ieved the intense engagement

necessary to be moved by te lev is ion.5 For more on endings, see Lavery, Apoca lypt ic Apoca lypses.


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Onecorrespondent (Burkhead) observed that

The commoncause of my tears i s that in each case I was responding to a

presentat ion of my idea l s mademani fest love vanqui sh ing ev i l , the good

pol i t i c i an coming out on top, Amer i ca putt ing as ide i t s pre jud ices for the

greater good. I suspect my tears were equa l l y a resu l t o f joy and the sadness

of knowing that I have to re ly uponte lev i s ion to c reate goodness .

Others founda d i s t inc t d i f ference between f i lmand TV (and l i terary ) tears .

One, Miche le Byers , a Canadian media scholar and co l l aborator , and the coed i tor of

th i s book , whowould suggest do ing a book on c ry ing and take the lead on i t s ed i t ing ,

gave te lev i s ion preeminence:

I have c r ied over f i lms, but the exper ience i sn ' t the same (even f i lms I ' ve

watchedover and over aga in , even ones I ownand watch a t home) . I have

c r ied over the beauty of f i lms and over the narrat i ves , but I th ink I c ry w i th

the characters on TV. The narrat i ves may be sad or pa infu l but I c ry of ten

f romthe connect ion I have to the ongoing s tory ( I don ' t th ink I ' ve ever

c r iedexcept on occas ion for tears of joyat the end of a f i lm) , to the

characters and so on . . . books have mademec ry too, certa in ly . Somet imes

whenthey were so goodand cameto an end before I was ready to be done

wi th them. Andthere have beencharacters in books that I have loved deeply

and c r ied wi th . . . so maybe, for me, TV i s more l i ke l i tera ture in that way .

But w i th TV i t ' s more dramat i c . I t br ings together so many th ings , the s tory ,

the v i sua l s and the mus ic and so on. . . .

Another , H i l l a ry Robson, ranked l i tera ture f i r s t in the c ry ing game:

By fa r , for me, the most tear induc ing i s l i tera tureI can say

that ac ross the board , romance or not , that l i tera ture has

usua l l y prompted the tear swel l s . My favor i te nove lLove in

theT imeof Cholera , makes mec ry every t ime I read i t

somet imes, I s ta r t c ry ing before the parts that make mec ry in

the nove l , in ant i c ipat ion of that moment . And I ' ve foundthat

whenrewatch ing Grey ' s [Anatomy ] , the sameth ing


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happensI ' l l s ta r t c ry ing before the moment , and whenthe moment comes,

I 'mdownr ight sobbingsoGrey ' s has been the most l i ke l i tera ture for me. I

guess that i t ' s because i t takes you somewhere that you don ' t qu i te expect .

That these charactersusua l l y the ones you hard ly knowfeel rea l and t rue

to you, and i t ' s l i ke you ' re l i v ing through them(not un l i ke how I fee l when

read ing a great p iece of f i c t ion) .

One commentator , Rhonda Wi l cox , remembers a s t rong ch i ldhoodavers ion to

tear jerk ing on the sofa : Mymomands i s ter en joyed a goodc ry , but I hated fee l ing

manipu la ted ( I s t i l l do) . As an adu l t , nonethe less , te lev i s ion has brought her to

tears (Buffy evokedaga in) , espec ia l l y dep ic t ions of sac r i f i ce .

Another (Turnbul l ) notes that her preference i s to c ry a lone.

In F low, I hopedto openand insp i re d i scuss ion about the tears weshed

before the tube and noted that [ t ]here a re so many quest ions weneed to ask .6

Weneed, I i ns i s ted , to w ipe away our tears and beg in the work . Th i s book ,

Miche le Byers , and I hope present a c lear eyed answer to that ca l l .

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Cry ing i s , o f course , an ageo ld mystery , by i t s very ex i s tent ia l nature perhaps

forever en igmat i c . As TomLutz notes in Cry ing: TheNatural &Cultural History of

Tears :

Weeping of ten occurs a t prec i se ly those t imes whenweare least ab le to fu l l y

verba l i ze complex overwhelming emot ions , l east ab le to a r t i cu la te our

mani fo ld , ming led , fee l ings . Werecogni ze in c ry ing a surp lus of fee l ing over

th ink ing , and an overwhelming of our powers of a r t i cu la t ion by the gestura l

l anguage of tears . (21 )

In a profoundand po ignant book f romthe midd le of the l ast

century , Germanphenomenolog i ca l anthropolog i st He lmuth

P lessner , wr i t ing a year a f ter wehad been to the moon, wondered

how i t cou ld be that desp i te such an ach ievement west i l l have no

6 For example: Do the Ar istotel ian ru les of catharsis st i l l apply? How

does gender af fect cry ing at te lev is ion? . . . Nat iona l i ty? Are long-runningser ies more l ikely to produce tears?


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va l id , ph i losophica l l y sophi st i ca ted theory of why we laugh and c ry . Howcan i t be ,

P lessner ponders in LaughingandCry ing , that wehave bare ly begunto p lumbthe

mystery of these dua l , inextr i cab ly humanmani festa t ions? Wr i t ing in 1999 , Lutz

would f ind the sta te of lac r imology not muchadvanced:

Weknowsomeof the bas i c phys io log i ca l processes invo lved, a b i t about the

g lands and ducts used and the hormona l ac t i v i ty that accompanies i t . We

knowsomeof the major nerves that f i re , and someof the bra in systems that

a re ac t i vated. Phys io log i s ts have stud ied the chemica l content of emot iona l

tears and shownthat they d i f fer f romthe tears , ca l led basa l or cont inuous

tears , that lubr i ca te our eyes whenweare not c ry ing . Weknowthat women in

th i s cu l ture c ry more than men, and that in fants c ry more than e i ther . (18 )7

But wecannot c la imto fu l l y understand the phenomenon.

For the Greeks and Jung , the mystery was l inked somehowto enantiodromia ,

the tendency of a l l th ings to turn into the i r oppos i te .8Goodand ev i l , l i ght and dark ,

hot and co ld , l augh ing and c ry ingal l a re un i ted beh ind the scenes , each needing the

other , in a marr iage of heavenand he l l , in order to ach ieve fu l l ex i s tence. In our

happiest/darkest moments wehave a l l g l impsedenantiodromia i n ac t ion , as c ry ing

becomes laughter and laughs tearsone formof hyster ia morphing into another .

What was dramat i c theory , Ar i s tot le to the 18t hCentury , th ink ing by ins i s t ing that

each keep to i t s quarters? Shakespeare , and Buffy , knewbetter .

I t would be a rrogant , o f course , for us to even suggest that the my or ig ina l

c ry ing co lumn in Flow, or th i s int roduct ion , or th i s book , might of fer someun i f ied

f ie ld theory of c ry ing . Our ambi t ion in these pages i s much more modest : in keep ing

wi th Lutz w i se d i rec t ions to t rust in a r t as the proper , the wiser gu ide to t rue

7 Take note that whi le a l l the correspondents for my or ig ina l co lumn

were women, th irteen of the twenty three contr ibutors to th is volume aremale.

8 For the Greek concept, see Hampden-Turner, Maps of the Mind (47).

Jung speaks of the Greek idea in Aspects of the Masculine (chapter 7,

paragraph 294):

Enant iodromia. L i tera l ly, "running counter to," referr ing to the

emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of t ime. Thischaracter ist ic phenomenon pract ica lly a lways occurs when an extreme,

one-sided tendency dominates conscious l i fe; in t ime an equal lypowerfu l counterposi t ion is bu i l t up, which f i rst inh ib i ts the conscious

performance and subsequent ly breaks through the conscious contro l .("Def in i t ions," ib id., par. 709)


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l ac r imony , weasked contr ibutors to wr i te about the i r response to mus ic , a r t ,

l i tera ture , f i lm, te lev i s ion , and the rea l wor ld , and the essays that resu l ted , some

h igh ly persona l , somemore scholar l y , somehybr ids of both , make up OntheVergeof

Tears . Asa read, what fo l lows may not be a tear jerker , but weare conf ident that i t s

readers w i l l c ry more thoughtfu l l y in the years ahead.

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