creating values in our marriages

Tuesday 11 April 2023

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CREATING VALUES IN OUR MARRIAGES And so a real life of faith is a life in which we

can treat others with respect, honor, decency, love, kindness, and tenderness, even when we do not see it. You see, we build and increase value. We do not increase value by trying to decrease others, by putting them down, or by being angry with them.

The key to is to learn how to increase the value of our spouses.


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Marriages are supposed to grow. Any marriage that is static will soon have problems. We need to work out our marriages so that there is continuous growth. I have learnt a lot over the years the need for growth and these lessons have assisted my wife and I when our children have left home as now we are an empty nest.


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It is time to express more love as it is the two of us. We have to be there for each other, support and help each other and even go an extra mile for each other.


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God desires us to have fulfilling marriages to testify to the world that Jesus really does make a difference to us. If we do not have good marriages, our testimony of Jesus becomes empty. People must see the life of Jesus in every area of our lives in order for our testimony to be real.


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Everything begins in the home, in the family. Remember this truth: The things we treasure have value to us, and the things that have value, we treat with respect.


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The real secret to improvement of our marriages is learning to value our spouses. How do you value your spouse? You value your spouse in the way you treat him or her in the small things.


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In I Peter 3:7, the Bible tells us that a woman needs to be highly valued to operate properly. It says, “Husband, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”


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She will never meet your needs or expectations unless she is highly valued.

She opens up to you when she feels value.


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In Ephesians 5:25-28, God tells husbands to love and cherish their wives. This scripture says, “25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26. that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,


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27. that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”


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In Ephesians 5:22-24, God tells wives to respect and honor their husbands. It says, “22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.


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24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”


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God makes a declaration that we should treat one another with love, care, and value, even when we do not see it. We call that faith.


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Hebrews 11:1 tell us, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” And so a real life of faith is a life in which we can treat others with respect, honor, decency, love, kindness, and tenderness, even when we do not see it.


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You see, we build and increase value. We do not increase value by trying to decrease others, by putting them down, or by being angry with them.


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The key to is to learn how to increase the value of our spouses. As we learn how to increase the value of our spouses, we increase our ability to deal with anger. One problem is that when people do not see enough value, they attempt to straighten that person out by using anger.


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What do you do when you see no value in your spouse? You must create value. Where you see no value or little value, you must create it. In creating value in your spouse, you must speak those things as though they are, even when they are not.


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Let us look at three ways we can increase the value of our mates. We create value in the following ways: 1. We speak value; 2. We treat others with value; 3. We acknowledge God’s value. If the church, if husbands and wives, would do this and live it, we would have some powerful homes and families.


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1. First, in order to increase value, we speak value.

The most powerful way we can create value is to speak value. It is so important that we learn to speak the right thing. It is important in the home and family that we speak things that are beneficial, not harmful.


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We should speak things that build up family members, not tear them down. The Word tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue. The tongue creates.


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Prov. 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” This says that a wise woman does everything she can to encourage and build up her family by what she says with her mouth.


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She is increasing their value. But a foolish woman, with the words of her own mouth, will tear her husband down and, in the process, tear her children down. She will tear her own home and her family down by what she says with her mouth.


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Husbands and wives should never speak evil of one another. Even if they disagree, husbands and wives should still back each other up in front of the children.


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We should always speak words of encouragement, building up and increasing the value of the other person at all times and in all situations.

Speaking value to other people makes them want to be a better person.


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How do we speak value to someone? Husbands and wives can say, “Our children have a wonderful mother,” or “Our children have a wonderful father.” They can speak value to their spouses in front of them and also when they are not around.


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2. The second way to increase value is to treat others with value.

Husbands and wives can give their spouses flowers, take them out to eat, just do little things that can show that person their appreciation. When you give value, or increase value, in the other person, then that person wants to be a better person.


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Philippians 2:2-3 says, “2. Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”


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We create value in our spouses by treating them with value. God’s way is to treat them as if they had more value than they actually do. This is acting in faith. Acting in faith is creative because it activates the supernatural power of God to motivate your mate to be better than he or she has been up to that point.


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The real danger in a relationship is to reach a “dead zone.” This happens after repeated unresolved conflicts, repeated disappointments, neglected communications, and giving up by one or both of the marriage partners.


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In Ephesians 4:26b we are told not to “. . . let the sun go down on your wrath.” When we do not do this, we simply stop trying to do the things necessary to make a successful marriage.


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Another way we can treat our mates with value is to reassure them that we are totally committed to them. We can do this by our actions towards the opposite sex. We can easily cause insecurity in the other person by our actions with the opposite sex.


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We can increase the value of our relationships by building common interests and common ministries that we can both be involved in. Both people in a marriage must work at this. When both parties in a marriage have things that they love doing together, then the marriage relationship increases in value.


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3. Third, we create greater value when we acknowledge the value that God has given to us.

Every person should treat others with value because we are all created in God’s own image. God has placed great value on each of us, demonstrated by His willingness to sacrifice His life for us.


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Another way we acknowledge our value is that we acknowledge the price that Jesus paid for our salvation. What kind of price was paid? It was the highest price possible. God sent his own Son to die on a cross for us so that we can be born again and have relationship with Him. God loves you and cares for you and esteems you highly.


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You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image. In your mother’s womb, you had value. You have value today. People sometimes have no hope and want to give up, but the Word of God says that you are valuable.


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Every human being is valuable, has worth. That teaches me that I should treat everyone with value and decency and respect.


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We grow in love with our spouses more and more as the years go by because we have invested so much value into the other person, and they, in turn, have invested so much value in us.


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Remember these verses: Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”


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Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” God is telling us to value others highly. This can easily be applied in the marriage.


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All the times the success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.


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God’s plan is so simple. God’s plan is for us to live a life of increasing the value of other people, our spouse, our loved one, our friends.


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Here are six questions to ponder on.

1. How much do I value my spouse?

2. Do I value him or her less or more than when we were first married?

3. Am I increasing in value to my spouse?

4. Am I diligently creating value in my husband or wife?


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5. Is there value in my husband or wife that others see and esteem but that I ignore because of my hurt and disappointment? Often we do not appreciate what we have.

6. Am I willing now to begin creating greater value in my spouse and at the same time increase my own value?


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The good news is that we can be changed and restored by the power of the name of Jesus in our lives. We do not have to stay the same as we are today. We can change. God can change hearts.


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We serve a God of miracles. God can restore relationships. Where you cannot, God can. God can and will do awesome and mighty things in our lives if we will just say, “God, I want to make a change in my life.


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Remember that learning to deal with the problem of anger begins with learning to increase the value of your spouse and the people around you. You will never treat people with respect until you learn to live a life in which you are continuously creating and increasing the value of other people.


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All the times the success of a marriage is dependent upon whether or not each spouse chooses to value the other highly.

Daily and every time have this in your marriage:

CREATE VALUE; ADD VALUE CREATE VALUE; ADD VALUE CREATE VALUE; ADD VALUE CREATE VALUE; ADD VALUE

creating values in our marriages

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