cracked ceiling, hall of mirrors (notes view)
DESCRIPTION
This is the notes view of the presentation Cracked Ceiling, Hall of Mirrors.TRANSCRIPT
In a recent conversa,on an execu,ve female leader of my company placed a benevolent hand on my arm to advise me that my intelligence and knowledge of data was “in,mida,ng” one of my male colleagues. This bit of “advice” wasn’t surprising. The word “in,mida,ng,” oAen preceded by “don’t take this the wrong way” has been directed at me before. The moniker of “in,mida,ng” has been leveled at many other smart, African-‐American women who have gone before me. The surprising thing was how I responded when she suggested that one of my white, male reports might be a reasonable intermediary that could help achieve my objec,ve. I agreed.
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As an female, African-‐American director of a data-‐driven marke,ng team, I’m a rarity. “We’ve come a long way baby!” Or have we…I acquiesced when asked to send one of my “White Knights” into baLle, but when I got back to my office, I really had to ask myself: “Was my career a breakthrough or a fractured ambi,on? Could I ever reconcile my sense of iden,ty with the overwhelming and challenging variety of distorted and par,al images of me that were out there?
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There is no doubt that we’ve come along way…
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Yet, despite our progress, our expecta,ons of ourselves and each other get trapped by the pervasive, seemingly everlas,ng gender codes, codes that enabled this compelling statement to get the laugh it deserved. Our expecta,ons of leadership and what it is to be a leader are s,ll framed by a male view of the world.
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Our genuine success paired with this warped view female leadership has resulted in some preLy confusing backlash that makes it hard to navigate the op,ons placed in front of us.
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In short, it’s preLy torchy and pitchforky out there.
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Unfortunately, the torches and pitchforks are too oAen turn on our own kind and represents a disheartening lack of faith in our own poten,al.
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One of the symptoms of this lack of faith is woman on woman bullying. We’ve all seen it, and although many of us, think this phenomenon most oAen manifests in senior women trying to keep junior women down, I have run into many situa,ons both personally and anecdotally about female leaders being sabotaged by subordinates, including admins and the like.
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There are s,ll too many women out there who don’t believe in the transforma,ve poten,al of female leadership.
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What stands in our way. Too oAen, we do.
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Our expecta,ons of ourselves and each other get trapped by the pervasive gender codes that are out there.
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This results in us having to navigate through an absurd hall of mirrors where playing NOT to lose and playing to WIN oAen lead to the same place: frustra,on and stagna,on.
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Too oAen the enemy is us, so we need to iden,fy that Black HaLed self that undermines our poten,al.
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Mine tends to be “I’m not sure I can get my hair done there.” I know it sounds ridiculous (most defea,st phrases are), but underlying this phrase is fear that I may not be ready for the challenge of naviga,ng the tricky hall of mirrors that surrounds today’s female leadership iden,ty. For some of my entrepreneur friends, it is “I really don’t want to grow.” Really? What does that mean? Unpack these phrases as the first step to defining what success means to you. Then be precise about it. Growth means different things to different people. What does precisely does it mean to you? Nail it or you won’t achieve it.
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