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COUNSELING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES (CAPS) UNIVERSITY OF SAN FRANCISCO 1 Grief and Loss Support for College Students

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Page 1: COUNSELING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES (CAPS) UNIVERSITY OF SAN FRANCISCO 1 Grief and Loss Support for College Students

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C O U N S E L I N G A N D P S YC H O L O G I C A L S E RV I C E S ( C A P S )

U N I V E R S I T Y O F SA N F R A N C I S C O

Grief and Loss Supportfor College Students

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“THE WORK OF GRIEVING IS THE HARDEST WORK THERE IS. IT IS LONELY, SICKENING AND EXHAUSTING. GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE. IT IS THE HIGHEST PRICE.”

- RABBI EARL GROLLMAN

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Why is this topic important on campuses?

About one in three college students experiences the death of a family member or close friend each year.

Geographic distance from home and usual support systems, academic pressures, and inadequate peer support and empathy can make grief during college particularly difficult.

Grieving college students are at greater risk than their peers for a host of physical, academic, social, developmental, and emotional issues. Students commonly report feeling alone, helpless, unsupported, and like no one “gets it.”

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GRIEF: THE EMOTIONAL PROCESS OF REACTING TO THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE THROUGH DEATH. THE FOCUS IS ON THE INTERNAL PROCESS OF THE INDIVIDUAL.

NORMAL OR COMMON GRIEF REACTIONS MAY INCLUDE COMPONENTS SUCH AS NUMBNESS

AND DISBELIEF.

A D A P T E D F R O M : N AT I O N A L C A N C E R I N S T I T U T E , H T T P : / / W W W. C A N C E R . G O V / C A N C E R T O P I C S / P D Q / S U P P O R T I V E C A R E / B E R E AV EM E N T / H E A LT H P R O F E S S I O N A L / PA G E 7

Terms to Know

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BEREAVEMENT: THE OBJECTIVE SITUATION ONE FACES AFTER HAVING LOST AN

IMPORTANT PERSON VIA DEATH.

MOURNING: THE PUBLIC DISPLAY OF GRIEF; WHILE GRIEF FOCUSES MORE ON THE

INTERNAL EXPERIENCE OF LOSS, MOURNING EMPHASIZES THE EXTERNAL OR PUBLIC

EXPRESSIONS OF GRIEF.

A D A P T E D F R O M : N AT I O N A L C A N C E R I N S T I T U T E , H TT P : / / W W W. C A N C E R . G O V / C A N C E R T O P I C S / P D Q / S U P P O R T I V E C A R E / B E R EAV E M E N T / H E A LT H P R O F E S S I O N A L / PA G E 7

Terms to Know

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MIND, BODY, & SPIRIT

How does grief affect people?

Page 7: COUNSELING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES (CAPS) UNIVERSITY OF SAN FRANCISCO 1 Grief and Loss Support for College Students

7-D E P R E S S I O N-S A D N E S S-A N X I E T Y-N U M B N E S S-H E L P L E S S N E S S-A N G E R-G U I LT-F R U S T R AT I O N-D I S T R A C T I O N-Y E A R N I N G-E M A N C I PAT I O N-D E P E R S O N A L I Z AT I O N A N D / O R S O C I A L W I T H D R AWA L-O B S E S S I O N W I T H D E AT H A N D T H E D E C E A S E D-D I S B E L I E F A N D / O R C O N F U S I O N A B O U T T H E D E AT H-A B S E N T- M I N D E D N E S S

S O U R C E : G R I E V I N G H O W T O G O O N L I V I N G W H E N S O M E O N E Y O U L O V E D I E S B Y T H E R E S E A . R A N D O, P H . D .

Mind

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“THE POWER OF GRIEF TO DERANGE THE MIND HAS IN FACT BEEN EXHAUSTIVELY

NOTED.”

Joan Didion QuoteThe Year of Magical

Thinking

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-STOMACH HOLLOWNESS-THROAT TIGHTNESS-CHEST TIGHTNESS-OVER-SENSITIVITY ( I .E . TO LIGHT, TOUCH, FOOD)-BREATHLESSNESS-MUSCLE WEAKNESS-LACK OF ENERGY - FATIGUE-DRY MOUTH-SLEEP DISTURBANCES-APPETITE PROBLEMS-CRYING

S O U R C E : G R I E V I N G H O W T O G O O N L I V I N G W H E N S O M E O N E Y O U L O V E D I E S B Y T H E R E S E A . R A N D O , P H . D .

Body

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“GRIEF FREQUENTLY LEADS TO CHANGES IN THE ENDOCRINE, IMMUNE, AUTONOMIC

NERVOUS, AND CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEMS; ALL OF THESE ARE FUNDAMENTALLY

INFLUENCED BY BRAIN FUNCTION AND NEUROTRANSMITTERS.”

Joan Didion QuoteThe Year of Magical Thinking

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-WHEN CONFRONTED WITH DEATH, WE CANNOT PRETEND IT ONLY HAPPENS TO OTHERS WHEN SOMEONE WE KNOW AND LOVE NO LONGER EXISTS IN A BODY ON THIS EARTH

-TO EXAMINE WHAT WE BELIEVE AND WHAT WE DO NOT BELIEVE IS NORMAL/COMMON

-IT IS NORMAL/COMMON TO MENTALLY TAKE APART ONE'S RELIGIOUS AND/OR SPIRITUAL BELIEFS

S O U R C E : H TT P : / / W W W. H E L P W I T H G R I E F. O R G / O V E RV I E W _ O F _ G R I E F. H T M L

Spirit/Spirituality

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-IT IS ALARMING TO SOME THAT THEIR FAITH OR SPIRITUALITY, WHICH PERHAPS PROVIDED COMFORT IN EARLIER TIMES, NO LONGER MEETS THAT NEED WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES

-THIS SITUATION COULD BE MADE WORSE WHEN OTHERS CONTINUE TO SUGGEST THAT FAITH OR BELIEF IN SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER

S O U R C E : H TT P : / / W W W. H E L P W I T H G R I E F. O R G / O V E RV I E W _ O F _ G R I E F. H T M L

Spirit/Spirituality

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COMMUNICATE TO YOUR PEER THAT YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THEIR GRIEVING PROCESS AND THAT YOU ARE

COMFORTABLE LISTENING TO THEIR PAIN

REMEMBER THAT GRIEF TAKES TIME (YEARS) TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH AND NEVER GOES AWAY, SO BE THERE

FOR THEM IN THE DAYS AS WELL AS WEEKS, MONTHS, AND YEARS FOLLOWING THE DEATH.

ENCOURAGE YOUR PEER TO OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR GRIEVING PROCESS WITH FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND OTHERS WHO HAVE GRIEVED DURING COLLEGE.

S O U R C E : H T T P : / / W W W. S T U D E N T S O FA M F. O R G / S U P P O R T-Y O U R - F R I E N D /

Supporting Grieving Peers

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ENCOURAGE YOUR PEERS TO REMEMBER THEIR DECEASED LOVED ONE(S) THROUGH SERVICE TO OTHERS

OR AN ACTIVITY THAT THE DECEASED ENJOYED.

REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY THEIR PAIN, BUT YOU CAN LET THEM KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE.

IF THE PERSON WHO IS IN GRIEF IS SUICIDAL, REFER THEM TO A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL AT

COUNSELING AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES (CAPS) AT 415-422-6352 AND PUBLIC SAFETY AT 415-422-2911.

S O U R C E : H T T P : / / W W W. S T U D E N T S O FA M F. O R G / S U P P O R T-Y O U R - F R I E N D /

 

Supporting Grieving Peers

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E M PAT H I Z E W I T H T H E PA I N H E / SH E I S G O I N G T H R O U G H — J U ST K N O W I N G T H AT Y O U A R E T H E R E F O R SU P P O RT W I L L B E

A N I M M E N S E S O U R C E O F ST R E N G T H .

B E G E N U I N E I N Y O U R C O M M U N I C AT I O N A N D D O N ’ T H I D E Y O U R F E E L I N G S. E XA M P L E : “ I ’ M N O T SU R E W H AT T O SAY, B U T

I WA N T Y O U T O K N O W I C A R E . ”

O F F E R T O B E H E L P F U L I N C O N C R E T E WAY S R AT H E R T H A N A S A G E N E R A L S TAT E M E N T ( “ I ’ M H A P P Y T O C O M E OV E R A N D

M A K E D I N N E R O N E N I G H T I F Y O U N E E D. ” V S. “ L E T M E K N O W I F T H E R E ’ S A N Y T H I N G I C A N D O. ” )

A L L O W P E R I O D S O F S I L E N C E , A N D B E A G O O D L I S T E N E R .

S O U R C E : H T T P : / / W W W. S T U D E N T S O FA M F. O R G / S U P P O R T-Y O U R - F R I E N D /

Supporting Grieving Peers

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- HOST A GENERAL COFFEE/TEA AND CONVERSATION TIME

- INVITE THE GRIEVING PERSON TO THE COMMON LOUNGE OR YOUR APARTMENT TO DO ANY TYPE OF ART TOGETHER

- ASK THE PERSON TO JOIN YOU FOR A CAF MEAL /SNACK

-ASK THE PERSON IF (S )HE WANTS TO MEDITATE, PRAY, AND/OR TALK WITH YOU IN INTERFAITH MEDITATION ROOM (WHICH IS NEXT TO THE UNIVERSITY MINISTRY OFFICE)

-ASK THE PERSON IF (S )HE WANTS TO WORK OUT AT KORET

Activity Ideas to Support Grieving Peers

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Thank you for your attention, and please reach out for support if you need it!

USF Support Contact Information

CAPS

Gillson Hall, Lower Level

Daytime & “After Hours:”

415-422-6352

University Ministry

Phelan Hall, Lower Level

415-422-4463

SHaRE

University Center, 5th Floor

415-422-6824

CASA

University Center, 3rd Floor

 415-422-5050

Public Safety

Lone Mountain, Lower Level

General Line: 415-422-4201

Emergency Line: 415-422-2911