copyright © 2005 active parenting publishers, inc. all rights reserved. no part of this...
TRANSCRIPT
Copyright © 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.All rights reserved. No part of this presentation may be reproduced electronically.
Published by Active Parenting Publishers, Atlanta, Georgia
For Parents of Children Ages 5 to 12
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
Power Struggles 1. Control the environment rather than control the child.
1. Allow the nature of consequences to play out.
2. Set Boundaries - I understand you are angry/upset, but you can’t talk to mommy like that. My mother told me they had to express their feelings somehow. I can’t control their thoughts or emotions, but I COULD establish HOW they EXPRESSED them.
Providing an explanation helps your child understand the boundaries.
4. Be Respectful – don’t yell or freak out, create a climate of dignity. Remember, your child is not your equal.
5. Model With Excitement and Joy! Very powerful tool
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
onsequences
lternatives
imits
eelings
The FLAC Method
F
L
A
CO.T. 20 Leader’s Guide: Page 80 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 88-90
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
ANGERis an emotional and
psychological response to frustration.
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
Courage =
Character and Courage
Derived from theFrench word for heart
“Coeur”
The confidence to take a known risk for a known purpose.
O.T. 21 Leader’s Guide: Page 82 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 96-97
2. The courage to do the right thing even when
you could get away with doing the wrong thing.
Character:1. The sum total of a person’s values, beliefs,
attitudes, actions, and personality traits.
Empathy + Encouragement = Courage
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
Discouraging & Encouraging Influences
Stimulating Independence
Building on Strengths
Showing Confidence
Valuing Child As Is
Overprotecting & Pampering
Focusing on Mistakes
Expecting Too Little
Expecting Too Much
Discouraging Encouraging
O.T. 22 Leader’s Guide: Page 83 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 100-102
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
Natural Consequences
“Do not do for your children on a regular basiswhat they can do for themselves.”
Don’t use when: • too dangerous• too far in the future• negatively affecting others
(use a logical consequence instead)
Natural
Consequences
Stimulate Independence
O.T. 23 Leader’s Guide: Pages 84-85 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 104-105
The results that naturally occur as a result ofa child’s behavior without the parent doing anything.
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
The BANK Method
aby steps
“Taking it to the Bank”
B
A
N
K
cknowledge what your child does well.
udge your child to take the next step.
eep encouraging improvement andpersistence (especially after backsliding)until the goal is met.
O.T. 24 Leader’s Guide: Page 86 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 106-110
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
Showing Confidence
• Give responsibility.
• Ask your child’s opinion or advice.
• Avoid the temptation to take over.
• Expect success and positive behavior.
O.T. 25 Leader’s Guide: Pages 87-88 • Parent’s Guide: Pages 111-114
“Children often live up or downto our expectations.”
-Michael Popkin
© 2005 Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You’re playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”