cook, glen - and dragons in the sky

7/29/2019 Cook, Glen - And Dragons in the Sky

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nd Dr agons i n t he Sky

yl en Cook

t has been a good year f or Gl en Cook. He won an Honorabl e Ment i on i n l ast year' s NAL pr i zeont est ; he has i ncr eased hi s magazi ne sal es; he has j ust sol d a f i ne novel t o New Ameri cani br ar y; he has mar r i ed a l ovel y gi r l ( whom he met at Cl ari on) ; and he has wr i t t en a gr i ppi ngccount of a f ut ure ci vi l i zat i on i n whi ch l oyal t i es - - t o l overs, f r i ends, and nat i ons - -onf l i ct ver y much as t hey do t oday.f "And Dr agons i n t he Sky" Gl en wr i t es: "Somet i mes t he wor l d sweeps over my di kes and I j ustave t o get al one, wi t h my t ypewr i t er , wher e I can dr ai n of f t he emot i ons i n a l ong, hot dr aug

omet i mes - - somet i mes I ' m l ucky and a st ory appear s on t he paper. Thi s i s one of t hose. "

n t hi s f renet i c, qui ck- shi f t , go, drop- your - f r i ends - possessi ons - root s - l oyal t i es l i kehr owaway cont ai ner s age, her oes, l egends, ar chet ypal f i gur es ar e di sposabl e: as bri l l i ant andphemeral as t he but t erf l i es of Ol d Eart h. One day some r esearcher may wr est f r om Natur e aol den, uni verse- changi ng secr et , some brave shi p' s commander may shat t er t he moment ' s enemy, hero, l egend f or a f l eet i ng hour - - and f ade t o dust wi t h Sumer and Akkad. Who remembers on

he seventh day? Who remember s J upp von Dr achau r i ndi ng those Sangaree? Ment i on hi s name. Bl ant ares r epl y. Or someone may say, "He' s t oo ol d, " meani ng, t oo l ong gone. A whol e year,onf ederat i on.t hi nk of her oes and l egends as, t ool case i n hand, I wander t owar d the gat e of Car son' s Bl ake

i t y spacepor t , wear i ng a name a si ze t oo smal l - - l at est i n a l i st of dozens - - t he cl ot hi ngl i qui ds t r ansf er syst ems t ech - - whi ch wor k I l oat he - - and, wi t hi n me, t he ner ves of an i ns

adi o. A smal l , dyi ng pai n sur r ounds a knot behi nd my r i ght ear . Each sl ow st ep dr i ves spi kes gony i nt o t he bones of my l egs. They' ve been l engt hened t hr ee i nches, hast i l y. My st omach i t c

wher e t went y pounds have been t aken of f , hast i l y agai n. Thi s i s a hur r y- up j ob.ut , t hen, ar en' t t hey al l ? Ther e' s no t i me, t hese days, f or car ef ul l y execut ed oper at i ons.

ver ythi ng i s r ushed. Not hi ng i s per manent , t her e ar e no f i xed poi nt s on whi ch to anchor . Li f ei ke t he f l ash f l oods of Si er r an r i ver s i n thaw t i me, r oar i ng and cascadi ng past t oo swi f t l y fny par t t o be sei zed and i nt i mat el y known. But wai t ! I n t he ri ver of l i f e apassi ng, t her e ar eew f i xed rocks, t wo l ong- l i ved l egends t hat ' r e heavy on my mi nd. Li ke boul ders i n Si er r ant r eams, t hey' r e al l but hi dden i n t he t ur bul ence of our t i mes, but t hey endur e, go f or ever onhere has t o be somet hi ng f or me. I want ! I cr y, but what I don' t know. I ' ve been t r yi ng t o ft t hr ough al l my year s wi t h the Bur eau.head, I spot my smal l , br own, must ached Or i ent al part ner, Mouse. Maki ng no si gn, I t ur n i n t hat e behi nd hi m. We don' t know each ot her t hi s t i me.wi sh ther e wer e somethi ng sol i d t o gr asp, t o know. Ever ythi ng moves so f ast . . . . Onl y i n

egends. . . .here i s St ar ' s End; t here ar e t he Hi gh Sei ners. Sheer myst er y i s St ar ' s End, f or t r ess pl aneteyond t he gal act i c r i m, wi t h aut omat i c, i nvi nci bl e weapons t o ki l l anyone f ool i sh enough t o gear - - wi t hout a shr ed of why. I n t he l ul l s, t he deep, f ear f ul l ul l s when ther e' s not hi ng t oay, not hi ng bei ng sai d, we moder ns sei ze St ar' s End as st r ange count r y t o expl or e, expl ai n, txt i ngui sh t he dr eadf ul si l ence - - we' r e i nt r i gued, per haps, by t he godl i ke power t her e,est r uct i ve as t hat of anci ent , Ear t h- t i me dei t i es. Or we turn t o t he Hi gh Sei ner s, t het arf i sher s.

We shoul d know t hem. They' r e human. Star ' s End i s j ust a dead met al machi ne' s voi ce babbl i ngnknown t ongues. Yet , i n t hei r humanness, t he Hi gh Sei ners are t he gr eat er, more f r i ght eni ng

myst ery. Dest r uct i on i s f ami l i ar, t hough t o encompass i t s pur pose i s somet i mes i mpossi bl e. Theui et , f i xed cul t ur e of t he Sei ner s we compr ehend not at al l , t hough we year n f or i t , hat e t heor t hei r bl i ssf ul st asi s: t hei r changel essness oddl y twi st s our soul s.ut such t hought s f ade. Wor k comes f i r st . I ent er t he t er mi nal , gr eat pl ast i c, gl ass, and steeaver n wi t h door s openi ng on other wor l ds. Li ght crowds i t . We need l i ght t hese days, f ear f ul

we ar e of ent r opi c ni ght . ( I want ed t o be a poet once. An i nst r uct or assi gned me a paean t oi ght . I l ost my want t hen. Too many dar k i mages cr owded my mi nd. ) Peopl e ar e her e i n t hei r

mul t i t udes, about t he f ami l i ar busi ness of t ermi nal s. Sever al men i n odd, pl ai n Hi gh Sei ner s'ar b wai t behi nd a di st ant t abl e. My new empl oyers.

Mouse passes smal l and br ownl y wi t h a wi nk - - why t hat name I don' t know. He l ooks more l i ke weasel .

st udy f aces i n the crowd, most l y see bewi l der ment , det er mi nat i on, mal ai se. I ' m af t er t heonchal ant ones. The compet i t i on i s here somewhere. The Bur eau has no copyri ght on i nt erest i nt ar f i sh. "Uhn! "Excuse me?"t ur n. A smal l bl ue nun has paused, t hi nki ng I ' ve spoken. "Par don. J ust t hi nki ng out l oud. " T

l ant oni d wobbl es of f , l eavi ng me wonderi ng why al l moder n Chr i st i ans ar e al i ens. But i t f adeset ur n t o t hat f ace.es, Mar ya St r ehl t swei t er - - one name I r emember - - t hough she has changed t oo. Dar ker : ski n,ai r , eyes, dar ker , and heavi er . But she can' t di sgui se her ways of movi ng, speaki ng, l i st eni npoor act r ess, unusual i n her r ace. She' s Sangaree, who have passed as human f or ages - - who,

l so, are al most al ways mur dered on di scovery. Marya has t al ent . She st ays al i ve.he sees me l ooki ng. Eyebr ows r ai se a mi l l i met er , quest i oni ngl y, t hen const er nat i on br i ef l y,ef ore a smi l e. She knows me, r emembers t he l ast t i me we crossed swords - - I t hi nk of a pl acengel Ci t y on t he Br oken Wi ngs, of l i f t i ng t he papers Von Dr achau needed t o nai l t he Sangaree.er haps, she' s t hi nki ng, t hi s' l l be her game. She nods ever so sl i ght l y.t her f aces t ease my memory, t hough I t hi nk t hey serve no government s. Corporat i on agent s,er haps, or McGr aws. Consi deri ng what we' r e af t er , I ' l l not be sur pr i sed i f t here are more agehan j ob- hungr y t echs here.he cr owd. I now see i t as a whol e, much smal l er t han expect ed. Maybe t wo hundr ed. The Sei ners


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dver t i sed f or a t housand. Har d t o f i nd t echs r omant i c, or hungr y,nough to pl unge i nt o an al i en human soci et y f or a year . . . .pecul at i on di ssol ves. The St ar f i sher s ar e checki ng us i n. I shuf f l e i nt o l i ne f our pl aces beh

Mouse, wonder i ng why he' s so shaky. He' s al ways shaky.Mr . Ni ven. " A whi sper , warm r ubbi ng my arm. I l ook down i nt o eyes dark as Sangaree gunmet aloi ns.Pardon, ma' am? BenRabi . Moyshe benRabi . "How quai nt . " She smi l es a gunmet al smi l e. My bed she has shared, and woul d shar e, I know - - an t he end, she' d dri nk my bl ood. "And t he Rat , eh?" Meani ng Mouse. "So many peopl e want t o blor a l i t t l e Sei ner money. Or bi t i n an hour . See you. " More gunmet al smi l i ng as she t akes herunmetal - hard body t oward t he Ladi es.he nervousness begi ns, as i t al ways does bef or e I j ump i n t he l i on' s den. Or dragon' s l ai r . Tay, t o the uni ni t i at ed, t he St ar f i sh appear as dr agons a hundr ed mi l es l ong. . . .

ef or e l i f t of f , a br i ef i ng. The of f i cer - i n- char ge i s br ut al l y honest . "We don' t want you, " heays, "we need you. You' l l mock us as anachr oni sms. Oh, yes, " t o a l one head- shake. "You' r e heunt i ng the myt h of t he St ar f i sher s, or t o spy, but you' l l f i nd nei t her r omance nor i nf or mat i o- - j ust hard work and st r angeness. We won' t ease you i nt o our cul t ur e. You' r e here onl y so wean meet our har vest cont r act s. " I suf f er a pr emoni t i on, a f eel i ng t hi s man has mor e t hanar vest s on hi s mi nd. Pl ai nl y, t hr ough hi s wor ds, I sense di sappoi nt ment , a t ouch of hat r ed f oandsmen. They have a wounded shi p out t her e, badl y maul ed - - I ' m not sur e I bel i eve t hat - -

whi ch needs a thousand t echs t o sal vage, and t hey ar e onl y get t i ng two hundr ed.e pauses, f umbl es i n pockets - - a pocket ed, cl ot h j acket- - pr oduces an odd l i t t l e i nst r ument . Onl y af t er i t ' s l i t and bel chi ng noxi ous cl ouds do Iecogni ze i t . A pi pe! I shudder . Romant i c t echs, I see, ar e wonder i ng what gr eat er hor r or s l urhead. Good psychol ogy, t he pi pe. The Sei ner i s easi ng us i n af t er al l , pr epar i ng us f or bi ggehocks t o come.Among you, " he says af t er hi s pause grows squi r mi ng l ong, "are spi es. So many i nt erest s want t ar f i sh her d. " He smi l es, but i t qui ckl y f ades t o gr i mness. "You' l l l ear n not hi ng. Ti l l youront r act s end, you' l l see not hi ng but t he gut s of shi ps - - and onl y when you wor k. You' l l notome i n cont act wi t h those who have t he i nf or mat i on you' r e af t er . You, who' d st eal our l i vel i h

nd cul t ur e,e war ned. We' r e a nat i on, a l aw unt o our sel ves. We hol d t o ol d ways, st i l l execut e f or espi onnd tr eason. " Whi l e t he pause f or ef f ect l ast s, I t hi nk of t he many t i mes Conf eder at i on has t ro br i ng the Sei ner s i nt o the f ol d, t o i mpr ess upon t hem "enl i ght ened" j ust i ce. They al ways f aet annexat i on remai ns a maj or government goal .ner vous st i r r uns t hr ough the r oom. The br i ef i ng of f i cer meet s pai r s of eyes one by one. The

omant i cs ar e f i ndi ng t hei r l egend toothed and cl awed. The di squi et gr ows. Execut i ons. You donxecut e peopl e any more. . . .oon we' r e her ded aboar d a shut t l e - - f i r st l andsmen f or t he f l eet s i n gener at i ons - - t hat i sbvi ousl y no commer ci al l i ght er , j ust st ar k f uncti onal i sm and st eel pai nt ed gr ay. We' r e l i f t i nl i nd, I see. Weedl i ke cl umps of wi r i ng hang where vi ewscr eens have been removed - - no chancesre t hey taki ng.he knot behi nd my ear , t he nondi sper sabl e part s of t he t r acer , sei zes me wi t h i r on, spi kedi nger s. I ' ve been "swi t ched on" by t he Bur eau. I st agger . The t hi n, pal e St ar f i sher gi r l seats asks, "Ar e you i l l ?" On her f ace, shocki ng me mor e t han t al k of execut i on, i s a l ook of t roncer n, not bl and, commerci al l y di spensed stewardess' s car e.want f i r es across my mi nd, as i t so of t en does. "Yes. " Dr oppi ng i nt o my seat , "A touch of

mi gr ai ne. " But I can never di scover what I need.er eyes wi den a f r act i on. She' l l r epor t t hi s. But , somewhere hi my medi cal f i l e, a t endencyowar d mi gr ai ne i s not ed t o cover t he pai n of t he t r acer . I am suscept i bl e, t hough i t hasn' tothered me i n year s. There ar e pi l l s. Why, I ask mysel f agai n, do t hey have t o use an i mperf eevi ce? Of cour se, i t ' s al l we' ve got , t he onl y way t o tr ack t hem t o the her d. Compl et el yonmet al , t he t r acer i s t he onl y undet ect abl e devi ce avai l abl e.want i s i n my mi nd. The Bur eau has support ed my years of sear ch, knowi ng I ' m sear chi ng ( Psyc

oesn' t mi ss much) , knows i t ' s showi ng a good r etur n on i nvest ment ( t he sane make poor agent s,xmen, or what ever ) . Year s, and I st i l l have no i nt i mati on of t he absence i n my soul .he vessel shi ver s. We' r e on t he way t o t he or bi t i ng St ar f i sher . Three r ows ahead, Mouse shakee' s t er r i f i ed by space t r avel .The Rat ' s chi cken. " She' s besi de me. I di dn' t see her si t down. "Sor r y to st ar t l e you. Mar i al ana Gonzal ez, atmosphere syst ems, di st r i but i on. " Gunmetal smi l e.want . What ? "Moyshe benRabi . " I n case she has f orgot t en. We exchange not hi ngs al l t he way to

he St ar f i sher , t oo war y t o pr obe f or cl ues t o one anot her ' s mi ssi ons.' m f or get t i ng she' s Sangar ee, t hat once I used her t o f i nd and ki l l a l ot of her peopl e. I doeel gui l t y, ei t her - - not t hat I hate Sangaree, as i s common. I n my mood of t he moment she

oesn' t count . Nothi ng does. I ' m t he uni nvol ved, uncommi t t ed, unemot i onal modern man. I ' moncerned more wi t h Mouse t han the st eel - soul ed deat h besi de me.ccor di ng to our past s on f i l e, our pat hs have never crossed. But t hi s i s our f our t h t eam j obnd, t hough he' s al ways af r ai d, he' s a good part ner - - especi al l y when t he r oughhouse begi ns.e' s t he onl y per son I know who has ki l l ed a man (except t he Sangaree l ady who, bei ng Sangareeoesn' t qual i f y as a per son) . Ki l l i ng i sn' t uncommon t hese days, but t he per sonal t ouch has bel i mi nat ed - - er go, t he shock of "execut i on. " Anyone can punch a but t on, hur l a mi ssi l e t obl i t er at e a shi p of a t housand soul s. Ther e i s no l ack of ni ce remot e space bat t l es ( agai nstangaree, McGr aw pi r ates, i n t he marque- and- r epr i sal ant i cs of government s, i n r ai ds andver ni ght war s) , but t o do i n a man f ace- t o- f ace, wi t h kni f e or gun . . . i t ' s j ust t oo per son

We don' t l i ke to get cl ose to peopl e, even to ki l l .' m af r ai d. I ' m get t i ng cl ose t o, gr owi ng f ond of , Mouse. We wor k t oget her t oo much. Bad f or oet achment . The Bur eau pr omi sed no more j obs t ogether l ast t i me, but t hen came t hi s hur r y- up,op- men j ob. Al ways t he rush. Somehow, somet i me, one of us wi l l get hur t . We' r e so much saf er sl ands i n mot i on ( Br owni an) , pausi ng f or i nt er act i on, movi ng on bef or e r oot s can t ake, be ri pp, l eave pai nf ul wounds.here' s a cl ang t hrough t he shut t l e, r ousi ng me. We' ve nosed i nt o t he mot her shi p l i ke pi gl et


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ow' s bel l y. The pal e, hel pf ul gi r l l eads us i nt o t he st ar shi p, t o a common r oom wher e not abl ewai t .hey' r e uncer emoni ous. One says , " I ' m Eduard Chou- t eau, Shi p' s Commander . You' r e aboar d Numberhree Servi ce Shi p f r om Dani on, a harvest shi p of Payne' s f l eet . You' r e t o r epl ace peopl e Dani oost hi a shar k at t ack. We don' t l i ke out si der s, but we' l l t r y t o make your st ay comf or t abl e.

We' ve got t o keep Dani on al i ve unt i l we recei ve r epl acement s f r om our school s . . . " I have t heeel i ng he i sn' t t el l i ng al l St ar f i sher mot i ves .

Most everyone, vi a t he r omant i c ent ert ai nment medi a, knows of t he Sei ner school s, t he cr echeswi t hi n ast er oi ds of deep space wher e St ar f i sher s hi de t hei r chi l dr en. They ar e nur ser y school soar di ng school s, mi l i t ar y academi es, t echni cal col l eges, saf ehouses wher e chi l dr en can gr ow unexposed to di sast er s of Dani on' s sort . Unl i ke l andsmen, t hough, Sei ner s send thei r chi l dr en r of essi onal par ent s out of l ove. We do so to be r i d of car go t hat may sl ow us i n shoot i ng t heapi ds of l i f e.

Li ght s, " says t he Shi p' s Commander. They f ade. Cent r al t o t he common, a spat i al hol ogr amppear s. "Those ar en' t our st ar s. The shi p i s our s. Dani on. " Somet hi ng f ocuses, somet hi ng l i kect opuses ent wi ni ng - - no, l i ke a ci t y sewage syst em wi t h bui l di ngs and ear t h r emoved, vastangl es of t ubi ng wi t h her e and ther e a cube, a cone, a bal l , wi t h occasi onal sheets ofi l ver ness, or gr eat net s f l oat i ng, bet ween ar ms of pi pi ng, r aggedl y bear ded wi t h hundr eds,housands of ant ennae. I n theor y, a deep space shi p needs not be cont ai ned, needs have nopeci f i c shape, yet t hi s i s t he f i r st such I ' ve ever encount er ed. I r eal i ze I ' ve di scover ed annsuspect ed r i gi di t y of human t hought . The needl e- shaped shi p has been wi t h us si nce space t r a

was but a dr eam.My sur pr i se i s shar ed. A st i r r uns t hr ough the common. But now I ' m suf f er i ng anot her sur pr i se.Mouse and I once st udi ed t he Sei ner f r om Car son' s sur f ace. She' s a t ypi cal i nt er st el l ar vesselhi p of her cl ass appr oaches t he har vest shi p i n the hol ogr am. The sur pr i se i s r el at i ve si ze. Tt ar shi p i s a needl e f al l i ng i nt o an ocean of scrap. The har vest shi p must be thi r t y mi l es i nross -sect i on. . . .i ght r et urns, drowni ng t he hol ogr am. Ar ound me are open mout hs. We t hought we were aboard aar vest shi p. I begi n, wi t h di st r ess, t o r eal i ze how l i t t l e pr epar ed I am t o go among theseeopl e, how l i t t l e the Bur eau has t ol d me. A more t han usual j ob- begi nni ng nervousness set s i n

nt i l now, wi t h change the or der i n my f ast - paced uni ver se, I ' ve assumed I can handl e thet r ange, t he unknown - - but t hi s space- bor ne mobi l e, i t ' s t oo al i en. Tr ue al i en handi wor kuddenl y seems l ess f or ei gn, l ess f r i ght f ul . I t ' s t he si ze. Not hi ng human shoul d be so bi g.Thi s' s al l you' l l know of Dani on, " says t he Shi p' s Commander , "of her ext er i or . Her gut s you'now wel l . We' l l get our money' s wor t h f r om you ther e. "nd they wi l l . Fi f t een hour s a day, t eamed wi t h Sei ner t echni ci ans, we l andsmen wi l l l abor t oeep Dani on al i ve and harvest i ng. Scar ce f our hundr ed of us wi l l manage t he work of a t housandnd, i n our f r ee t i me, we' l l r epai r t he shar k att ack damage responsi bl e f or t he or i gi nalasual t i es. Dai l y, we' l l wor k t o exhaust i on, t hen st agger t o our bunks t oo wear y even to t hi nkbout spyi ng. . . .ut t her e' r e pr obl ems f i r st , a t i me of di st r ess t wo days af t er depar t ur e. The shi p dr ops f r omyper . I , and everyone, assume we' ve ar r i ved. We gat her i n t he common r oom, a cust om ofr avel ers, somehow expect i ng vi ewscr eens and a l ook at our new home. Short l y, however, t he Fii eut enant appear s.Pl ease ret ur n t o your quart er s, " he says. He seems pal er t han the usual St arf i sher . "We' r embushi ng Conf eder at i on Navy shi ps f ol l owi ng us f r om Car son' s. "' m dumbst r uck. The Navy shoul dn' t move i n yet . Nor shoul d Sei ners so casual l y t ur n on pur suer

not , at l east , on my Navy. I l ook ar ound. The f ew angr y f aces I l abel "compet i t i on di smayed.cr oss t he r oom, Mouse appear s bewi l dered. The Sangaree woman i s i n a r age, f ace r ed, f i st sl enched.he Fi r st Li eutenant f i el ds a f ew quest i ons bef or e r et r eat i ng, al l wi t h a si ngl e expl anat i on.We' ve ent er ed a hydr ogen st r eam, t aken st at i on wi t h a f l eet . St ar f i sh noi se i s bei ng br oadcasr om scout shi ps. We of t en do t hi s t o cover t he wi t hdr awal of our vessel s f or ced t o ent erci vi l i zed space. ' " He l eaves us t hi nki ng.

We go t oo, Mouse and I gl uml y wonder i ng i f we' r e now expendabl e.he gener al al ar m sounds. Engagement i s i mmi nent . I hope t he admi r al ( I ' m consi der i ng my ownur vi val , not hi s comf or t ) r ecogni zes t he tr ap and get s out . I ' m hopi ng t he Sei ner s don' t dongr y, r ash t hi ngs af t er war d.' ve har dl y st r apped i n. The vessel r ocks. Depar t i ng mi ssi l es. I ' m amazed. She' s got bat t er i eseavi er t han her appear ance suggest s.t ook t hi s j ob expect i ng the t ot al bor edom of unchange, nul - novel t y, but f i nd sur pr i ses come

l most t oo f ast t o assi mi l at e.he al l - cl ear sounds shor t l y, and wi t h i t a buzz f r om my cabi n door . I t opens. A cr ewman asks ,Mr . benRabi ? Come wi t h us, pl ease. " He' s pol i t e, oh, pol i t e as t he spi der i nvi t i ng the f l y. H

eet h seem al l whi t e shar p and poi nt y. Behi nd hi m ar e rati ngs wi t h angr y guns. Yes, I ' l l go wii m.s I j oi n hi m i n the passage, anot her door opens wi t h a char act er i st i c squeal . Yes. A gr oup i sol l ect i ng Mouse.one al r eady, I t hi nk, and by space gypsi es cent ur i es behi nd t he t i mes. How?Ah, " says t he Shi p' s Commander as we ent er hi s of f i ce, "Commander I gar ashi , Commander

McCl ennon. " My eyebr ows r i se. I di dn' t know Mouse' s name, but I garashi i t mi ght be. He' s got mai l ed, t hough McCl ennon I haven' t used i n f i f t een year s. "Pl ease be seat ed. " I si t , gl ance at

Mouse. He, t oo, i s st unned.You' r e wonderi ng about your Navy f r i ends? Deci ded di scr et i on was t he bet t er par t . Admi r aleckhar t must be per t ur bed. " He chuckl es. "But t hat' s not why you' r e her e. I t ' s t hose t r acer sou' ve got bui l t i n. "hi s st ar t l es me. He' s t al ki ng pl ural . I t hought I was t he onl y one wi t h a uni t , and Mouse wasl ong f or t he ri de. Mouse, i t seems, t hought t he same. Wheel s wi t hi n wheel s, and I shoul d' veuessed. I t ' s t he Bur eau' s way.Al l bi ol ogi cal , eh? I nt er est i ng devel opment . Passed our det ect or s easi l y. But we' r e a par anoi deopl e - - and t hi nk of ever ythi ng. " Smugness. "We' ve wat ched t he hyper bands si nce l i f t of f , ha


4/11

ou pegged i n hour s. Dr . Du- Maur i er . . . . "ands sei ze me. The doct or exami nes me qui ckl y, numbs my neck and t he si de of my head wi t h aner osol anest het i c. He pr oduces an ant i que l ase- scal pel .he Shi p' s Commander says , "Thi s' l l be f ast and pai nl ess . We' l l pul l t he ambergr i s nodes . . .nd sel l t hem back to t he Navy next auct i on, I t hi nk. " He chuckl es agai n. I smi l e. Ther e' s aur i ous j ust i ce i n i t . Mouse and I , and ot her s, ar e aboar d i n hopes of l ocat i ng the gr eat ni gheast s whi ch pr oduce j ust t hat l i t t l e i t em.mber gr i s, t he Hi gh Sei ner cal l s i t . My st udi es say amber gr i s i s a " mor bi d secret i on" of Ol dar t h whal es, ver y val uabl e. Ot her s, l andsmen, cal l t he mat er i al st ar ' s amber , spacegol d,kydi amond, any of many names. I t ' s t he weal t h of our age. I n the ol d t ongues i t s name i s har di t hy. I t ' s t he sol i d wastes of St arf i sh - - crap, but crap wi t hout whi ch i nt erst el l ari vi l i zat i on, as i t exi st s, coul d not be. Ther e woul d be no f ast st ar - t o- st ar communi cat i on.n a way I don' t unders t and ( havi ng no knowl edge of t he physi cs) , a tachyon f l ow i s generat ed

gap between as ambergr i s node and a Bi l ao cryst al anode. These ar e t he onl y materi al s t hat wo. Nei t her can be synt hesi zed. Bi l ao cr ystal , mi ned on Si err a, i s many t i mes cheaper t hanmbergr i s. The t achyon st r eam i s f ormed i nt o a coherent beam whi ch comput ers i mpr ess and ai m aecei ver . Each t achyon carr i es an i mpr essed hol ogr amat i cor t r ai t of t he whol e message. The recei ver need cat ch but a f ew. Thus di st ance, di f f usi on, bepread, smal l ai mi ng err ors are over come.ver y pl anet i n The Ar m, of si x r aces and count l ess gover nment s ( t he Sangaree not i ncl uded) i sart of an i nst el net : mi l i t ary, government , or commerci al . The demand f or ambergr i s f ar exceehe suppl y. Such a vast market can never be sat ur ated.ommuni cat i on i s t he f oundat i on of ci vi l i zat i on. Ther e ar e tr i l l i ons of bei ngs i n The Ar m,housands of pl anet s, mi l l i ons of shi ps, al l want i ng i nst el - - and al l t he Sei ner f l eet s pr oduess t han a hundr ed thousand nodes each year . No wonder t he vul t ur es gat her .ul t ur es. Mouse and I ar e vul t ur es - - no, r apaci ous bi r ds, f al cons hur l ed al of t t o br i ng downame i nf or mat i on. We' r e t o l ocat e a her d, t el l Navy wher e, l et i t be sei zed f or Conf eder at i on. et t er owner shi p than the Sei ner s' , who sel l t o anyone meet i ng t hei r pr i ce. They' r e tooemocrat i c, f r om Conf eder at i on' s vi ewpoi nt . Of t en, under t hei r syst em, t he st ones go toel l i ger ent , i mper i al i st i c gover nment s, or unscrupul ous cor por at i ons. We' r e her e t o st op t hat .

h- huh. Someti mes you t el l your sel f t al l ones, el se you ask quest i ons, wor r yi ng no- mat t er s l i ki ght and wr ong.My soul , sl i t her i ng past mor al i t y shyl y, mer el y mumbl es I want . Ther e i s pai n i n i t I can' twi t hst and. I must f i nd my Gr ai l , and soon, or abandon t hi s secret quest . I ' ve seen men so, i nr i m pl aces on beaut i f ul worl ds, zombi es wi t h humanness gone, def eat ed by t he uni ver se, t i me, l l - t oo- r api d change, t he l i t t l e ones i n madhouses, t he bi g ones mast er s of cor por at i ons orovernment s i n whi ch peopl e ar e t he cat t l e of machi nes. Not f or me, no. . . . My soul howl s atnvi si bl e moon.One down. " The doctor t osses t he node- anode pi ece to t he Shi p' s Commander. I f eel no pai n. I 'l ad he i nt er r upt s t he t hought s. I ' m on t he edge of a scream. He t ur ns t o Mouse.We don' t l i ke spi es, " says t he Shi p' s Commander. We. Al ways t hese peopl e say we. The worm wi t

me squi r ms. Thi s man t ouches my need. I t r y t o sei ze somethi ng, t o know, but l i ke a wet cat f i st easi l y wr i ggl es f r om my gr asp. "But Dani on' s dyi ng. We l ove her . We' l l keep you al i ve, keepur cont r act s, wor k you t i l l you dr op, t i l l Dani on can l i ve wi t hout you, t hen we' l l send youway. Pl ease be no more t r oubl e t han you' ve been. We need you desperat el y, but we' l l not beushed t oo f ar .etur n t o your quart ers. We' l l get underway soon, f or home. "

r i se, t ouchi ng t he smal l bandage behi nd my ear. There i s no pai n, but i t s pr esence makes mehi nk of bi gger cut s on my body and soul .Mouse i s done. We wal k gl uml y al ong a passage, unescor t ed. There i s nothi ng t o say, so we' r ei l ent . Fi nal l y, as we near my cabi n, he asks, "What now?"

shr ug. We' r e par t ner s, nei t her seni or , but I ' ve been hopi ng he woul d deci de. "Go f or t he ri dguess. We have a year. Can t hey keep thei r guard up f orever ?"

eyond Mouse I see t he Sangaree l ady. She smi l es and waves. There' s a hi nt of gl oat i ng i n hermanner . She somehow hel ped bet r ay us, probabl y by poi nt i ng out whi ch men were Navy agent s.Mouse cat ches i t t oo. "Shoul d' ve ki l l ed her on the Br oken Wi ngs, " he mut t er s. He' s shaki ng. Hir own f ace wr i nkl es nast i l y. "Maybe t hi s t i me. "shake my head. "Not here, not now. We' ve got enough t r oubl e al r eady. "

Mouse has never l i ked her . ( I shoul dn' t , but I haven' t hi s si ngul ar gi f t of hat r ed. Ever yone,ver yt hi ng i s t oo t r ansi ent f or mor e t han mi l d aver si on. ) He f r equent l y needs r est r ai nt . "She'et t er move f ast when we hi t di r t . " I hope our year her e wi l l t emper hi s f eel i ngs, but f ear i t

won' t . Hi s hat r ed' s beyond t he usual . I t hi nk someone cl ose was a Sangaree st ardust addi ct ( " tr eam t hat bur ns, t he j oy that ki l l s, " t he poet Czyzewski sai d as he was dyi ng) . Hi s assi gnmene says, ar e al l count er - Sangar ee. Those I ' ve shar ed, he pr osecut ed wi t h f anat i c zeal .

he Sangaree. Who, what ar e t hey? Li ke t he Sei ners and St ar ' s End, another l egendary f or ce, buatani c, one we sel dom ment i on. Li ke t he savage i n t he ni ght bef ore hi s f i r e, we wi t hhol d t heame of t he demon f or f ear of i nvoki ng hi s pr esence. Af t er cent ur i es of sul l en, subdued conf l i

we know l i t t l e about t hem. They are humanoi d, pass f or human, even pr oduce mul e of f spr i ng onuman women. They come f r om af ar , pl anet unknown. Thei r number s ar e l i mi t ed, supposedl y becaushei r women concei ve onl y under t hei r nat i ve sun.par t i cl e f r om t hat sun, l ong ago, buzzed t hr ough space, atmospher e, f l esh, r i cochet ed t hr oug

hr omosome, r ear r anged DNA, obl i quel y f ather ed a race of br i gands. Al l t he wor st character i st if Mongol , Vi ki ng, Car i bbeani r ate, Maf i osi , Chi nese Tong hat chetman, name i t , are st amped on Sangaree genes. For t hemsel vhey pr oduce l i t t l e. They r ai d, t hey st eal , t hey deal i n dr ugs and sl aves and guns - - anythi ngr of i t abl e ( i n t hei r own vi ew, t hey do not hi ng wr ong) . They ar e cunni ng, har d to f i nd, oper at ehadow- mast ers of nat i ve syndi cat es compl ex as Mi noan l abyri nt hs - - al l as government agent s.r i me i s t hei r raci al i ndustr y.hey ar e consi dered a nui sance, prosecut ed at oppor t uni t y - - except by Man. I n us t he Sangareenspi r e i r r at i onal hat r ed, deadl y ret al i at i on - - I t hi nk because i n t hem we see mi r r or ed theemons l urki ng on the borders of our own beni ght ed soul s. Sangaree ar e what we woul d be i f f r e


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r om soci al r estr ai nt . Thus J upp von Dr achau' s bl oody act i on af t er Mouse and I l ocat ed Sangar eeadquar t ers f or t hei r human oper at i ons. Thei r pr i vat eer s he dest r oyed, t hei r dr ug f ar ms andef i ner i es, t he l abor at or i es wher e t hey f or ce- gr ew pl easur e sl aves t o the f ant asy speci f i cat i of weal t hy, evi l men. . . .I hope we f i nd thei r wor l d bef or e I di e, " Mouse says.f eel a t wi nge of j eal ousy. Mouse ha_s hi s Gr ai l . I t ' s a cup of bl ood and hat r ed, but I envy

i s whol eness. Woul d t hat hat e were s i mpl e enough f or me.We reach t he harvest shi p. I n t he pr essur e of work I f orget my scr eami ng need. I t haunt s me onl

t ni ght , or when I encount er t he Sangaree woman, i nevi t abl e because ai r duct s and l i qui ds pi pol l ow t he same ser vi ce passages. Then I ' m r i pped f r om my peace f or , i nvar i abl y, she' l l t aunt

Mouse ( we work t ogether f or t he conveni ence of Secur i t y Depar t ment ) , and t he whol eness of bei nhat per mi t s hi m a pr edi ct abl e r esponse r emi nds me of my own i ncompl et eness.Wel l , Rat , " she may say, "ki l l ed anybody l atel y? Lot s of non- Conf eds her e. Why not me? Or don

ou have t he gut s?" She knows he has, but t hi nks she can t ake hi m. She' s sur e he' s a st r i ke-r om- behi nd man, but he' s much more. Mouse want s t o demonst r ate, but he f i ercel y r epr essesempt at i on. She' s pl ayi ng some game. We want t he st akes and rul es bef ore get t i ng i n. She' s noct r ess. Her easy conf i dence gi ves her away.ur i ng t he passi ng mont hs I l ear n of St arf i sh. Once t hey were j ust a wonderf ul concept . Now, w

my cont r act hal f compl ete, I know t hat t here ar e many f orms of " l i f e" i n t he hydr ogen st r eams,hough i t ' s l i f e di f f i cul t t o compr ehend, consi st i ng mor e i n f i el ds of f or ce than i n common

mat t er . A gr andf at her St ar f i sh t wo hundr ed mi l es l ong and a mi l l i on year s ol d cont ai ns f ewert oms t han a human adul t , most unbound by mol ecul ar energi es. They are more f oci upon whi chorces ar e anchored, gr avi t y and subt l e el ect r omagnet i c f orces whi ch permeat e t he t wi st s andol ds of t i me and space sur r oundi ng a St ar f i sh "body. " Wi t hi n hi s vacuol e uni ver se, t he cr eat uupposedl y exi st s as sol i dl y real as we. What t he Sei ner s sense wi t h thei r i nst r ument s i s but r act i on of t he beast , l i ke a shar k' s f i n seen cut t i ng t he sur f ace of an Ol d Ear t h ocean.hey f eed on hydr ogen and t he ot her el ements i n t he f usi on chai n. Once I asked a Sei ner why t hon' t gat her at st ar s. He sai d t hey can' t r emai n i nt egr at e i n the f i el d st r esses about masses

much gr eat er t han a harvest shi p, nor can t hey " di gest " mat t er more compl ex t han the watermol ecul e.

Wi t hi n a St arf i sh, surr ounded by awesome f i el ds and spr ead acr oss al l t hei r many di mensi ons, ii r e vi ol ent as t he hear t of a sun. At oms, pr i mar i l y hydr ogen, ar e f ed i n, f ast - shuf f l ed throui mensi ons and a f usi on chai n, ar e mi xed wi t h ant i mat t er f r om anot her uni ver se i n whi ch t heyi mul t aneousl y exi st ; t her e i s anni hi l at i on. The ener gi es t hey bi nd wi t h di mensi onal shi f t s arr ul y f ear some.hysi cs? I don' t know. Besi de t hi s, t he goi ngs- on i n a super nova ar e ki nder gar t en stuf f . Inderst and onl y t hat some wast es are evacuated as t he amber gr i s nodes used i n i nst elr ansmi t t er s.he great est , most unset t l i ng sur pr i se t o date comes when I di scover t hi s i s no man- cat t l eel at i onshi p, i t ' s a par t ner shi p. St ar f i sh ar e i nt el l i gent and, vi a machi ner y whoseophi st i cat i on we l andsmen never suspect ed, Sei ner t echs mai nt ai n const ant ment al cont act wi t h

members of t he herds. St arf i sh pr oduce ambergr i s, but demand a ser vi ce i n ret ur n: pr otect i on.or t hey' r e not al one out here. Li ke oceans, t he hydr ogen str eams t eem wi t h l i f e - - somecar ni vor ous. " The St arf i sh have a natur al enemy whi ch, at t he comi ng of Man, t hr eat ened to enhei r speci es. "Shar ks, " t he Sei ner s cal l t hem, af t er habi t s cr uel as of t hose sea- ki l l er s of art h. They' r e smal l er t han St arf i sh and hunt i n packs l i ke wol ves and men.oth speci es hyper short di st ances.

Most herds ar e shadowed by shark packs whi ch, at opport uni t y, cut a beast f r om t he herd. Thet ar f i sh ar en' t def ensel ess - - t hey bur p up bal l s of gut - f i r e and f l i ng t hembout l i ke gr anddaddy nucl ear bombs, but wi t h sharks so f ast and t he bur pi ng so sl ow, t hey selet more t han a si ngl e shot . The packs r ecent l y grew t r emendousl y, why unknown. Herds dwi ndl ednabl e t o cope. Man ar r i ved.he St ar f i sh t ouched t he mi nds of t he ear l y Sei ners, expl or ed t hem, cont act ed t hem, made t heargai n. ( Somet i mes t hey t ouch my mi nd, I t hi nk, t hough my i magi nat i on may pl ay me t r i cks. I n reams I see great swi mmi ng space as i f wi t h unhuman eyes. Each t i me I dream, I wake wi t h acr eami ng mi gr ai ne. ) The St ar f i sh woul d pr oduce quant i t i es of amber gr i s i n r et ur n f or pr ot ect iuman guns ser ve, and mi ssi l es. Shar ks' bi ndi ng f or ces are easi l y di sr upt ed - - t hen t hey areeast s f or t hei r at t endant scavenger s.ut shar ks, i n t hei r sl ow f ashi on, ar e i nt el l i gent . They now associ at e hi gh casual t i es wi t h shbout t he pr ey. An ol d f ear became f act t he day sharks t ur ned on Dani on. Now t hey hi tar vest shi ps bef or e appr oachi ng a her d. So i t ' s war - - Sei ner s won' t t ake at t ack st oi cal l y - -

war t o be l ost . The Sei ners are t oo f ew, t he shar ks t oo many, and t he sl ow t hought of t he enemeems t he onl y hope.he pal e Sei ner who expl ai ned t hi s knew mor e, but when he was about t o t el l , suddenl y f l ed. Th

f t en do. I ' m t he vi si bl e hand of anot her anci ent f oe: l andsmen.e was speaki ng of a need f or more powerf ul weapons when he br oke of f , l ef t me wi t h a col dr emoni t i on. Somethi ng gr i m' s happeni ng. I ' ve f el t i t si nce comi ng aboar d. Thi s i s no or di nar yarvest . Dani on has been under dr i ve f or mont hs, somet i mes i n hyper, whi ch i sn' t ordi nari l y doear St ar f i sh, a har vest shi p maneuver s onl y on "mi nddr i ve" ( I ' ve hear d t he t er m but once - - t hei ner woul dn' t expl ai n) . Ot her dr i ves har m t he beast s.even months have passed. Yest er day t he Sangar ee woman al most r eached Mouse. Whatever her gamet ' s i n i t s f i nal moves. She' s pushi ng har d. Wi sh I coul d f i gur e her , but t her e' s nonder st andi ng a Sangar ee mi nd.he engi nes ar e t wo weeks dead. Wherever we wer e bound, we ar r i ved. I know l i t t l e. The Sei nersre more cl osemout hed t han ever , speak onl y when t hey must .ervousness and f ear haunt t he shi p. I hear gr eat shark packs ar e gatheri ng. I somet i mes see

wear y Sei ner s f r om our const ant l y busy ser vi ce shi ps, wonder i f t hey ar e f i ght i ng t hose packs, re at somet hi ng el se. Though we l andsmen ar e per mi t t ed l i t t l e knowl edge of i t , t her e i sgr eat r ace on. I n some desper at e gambl e, t he Fi sher s ar e t r yi ng to f i ni sh somet hi ng bef or e t

har ks f i nal l y t hr ow t hemsel ves agai nst us. My i gnor ance gr ows t r yi ng.t ' s eveni ng. Mouse and I ar e pl ayi ng chess. Despi t e our sel ves, we gr ow i ncreasi ngl y cl ose. We


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orced t ogether. The Sangaree woman i s one of t he f ew who wi l l speak. Ot hers avoi d us, f ear i ngui l t by associ at i on.

My game' s bad. I ' m pi qued. The I want , so l ong pl ayed down i n my soul , has bur st upon me agai nouder t han ever , mocki ng, sayi ng I ' m at t he t hr eshol d but t oo dense t o r ecogni ze my di scover yI can' t hol d of f much l onger, " Mouse says, capt ur i ng a pawn. "Next t i me she shows, or t he nex' l l bend her . "

Movi ng to prot ect my queen, "We' r e al most i n. Fi ve mont hs. Don' t r ui n i t . "Wi t h a qui ck hand he sl aught ers a kni ght . "Pl ati t udes comi ng?" I gl ance at hi s expr essi onl essace, back t o the boar d. I see di sast er .Yi el d. " Anot her pat t ern of di sast er grows cl ear . I know what she' s doi ng, and how. Unt hi nki ngt and abr upt l y. "We may have t o! "Eh?"Bend her . J ust f i gur ed how she' s doi ng i t . Assume she' s got a t r acer , br oadcast i ng random

l eeps. . . . "Got you. Easy f or t he Sangaree to t r i angul ate on, but a worm i n her gut s Dani on mi ght never pown. Let ' s not bend her, l et ' s chop i t out . " Col dl y, t hat , wi t h ant i c i pat i on of pai n i nf l i ctee r etur ns chessmen to t hei r box, t akes a wi cked, homemade kni f e f r om beneat h hi s matt r ess, saLet ' s go. "

have a hundr ed reasons f or not , f or hi s goi ng al one, f or many al t er nat i ves, but am abl e t or t i cul at e none. I t ' s t i me she was st al emat ed.

We' r e hal f way to her cabi n when a not i on st r i kes. "Suppose she' s got us bugged. " We assume t heei ners l i sten, but t hi s i s the f i rst I t hi nk of spyi ng by a t hi rd part y.Then she' l l expect us. " He shr ugs. "Bet t er t hi nk about i t . " Whi l e he i s at i t , a squad ofei ners appear s.Looks l i ke t he j ob get s done f or us. " They st op at her door .They' r e not t hi nki ng! " Mouse i s shaki ng, exci t ed and af r ai d.

My hear t begi ns a f l amenco beat . The Sei ners push t hr ough t he door . As Mouse sai d, t hey ar en' thi nki ng. Two f al l bef or e t hey get out of si ght , dr opped by what ' s

wai t i ng t here f or Mouse and me. Loud r eport s ( l ater: gunpowder pi st ol s, homemade) . Some grunt scr eam. The r emai ni ng t wo men ar e i nsi de.

Come on! "don' t know what he has i n mi nd, but I f ol l ow. I n the door l ow he goes, pauses t o l i f t a weapr om a dyi ng Sei ner . As I do t he same, I see t he Sangaree woman beyond hi m, back t o us,t r uggl i ng wi t h t he l ast Fi sher . She di sarms hi m. Her hand dar t s past hi s guar d, smashes hi s

wi ndpi pe.My gr unt t el l s her of our pr esence.Sl owl y, " says Mouse as she t ur ns. "I ' d hat e t o shoot . " Hope i s t hi ck i n hi s voi ce.or once she does as t ol d, has no i nst ant , shar p repl y. As she f aces us, her di st r ess i s ver yvi dent . But i t f ades i nt o her oppr essi ve smi l e. "Too l at e. The l ast si gnal ' s al r eady sent .hey' l l be here soon. . . . "nder l i ni ng her wor ds, st r i dent al ar ms hoot . Shor t l y, Dani on shi ver s - - ser vi ce shi ps l aunchi ngt hi nk. " I ' l l go on stati on, " I say. "Wat ch her t i l l t he masters- at - arms show. " I start f or

amage Cont r ol Cent r al .ow f ast news t r avel s! By t he t i me I ar r i ve, t he dut y sect i on i s abuzz about t he appear ance ofi f t y Sangar ee shi ps. Fri ght ened l andsmen ar e cer t ai n these ar e our l ast hour s. I don' tompr ehend t i l l I over hear Sei ner s out - admi r al i ng Payne hi msel f . They' r e cer t ai n we' l l f i ght .shudder.

he Sangaree maneuver i n t he darkness beyond t hese wal l s. Out numbered ser vi ce shi ps r ace t owarhem. I wonder i f Payne wi l l cal l f or hel p f r om ot her f l eet s - - no, he won' t know wher e t heyre. Secur i t y. Unanswer abl e quest i ons dash across my mi nd, t he bi ggest , st i l l : what do I want ?he at t ack t hat comes i sn' t Sangaree. Shar ks, di st r essed by t he new ar r i val , st r i ke i n al li r ect i ons. News f i l t ers i n f r om Operat i ons, some good, some bad. The Sangaree ar e havi ng a hai me. The shar ks are concent r at i ng on Dani on.n the sea of not hi ng our shi ps ar e ki l l i ng, bei ng ki l l ed by, shar ks. The Sangar ee f i ght an enndi scover abl e whi l e, f ool i shl y, t r yi ng t o move t o a posi t i on of vant age vi s- a- vi s t he f l eet .ani on shi ver s const ant l y, al l weapons i n act i on. I n t he hear t of t he gr eat mobi l e we wai t , wa

wai t f or a shudder and al arms t o announce t he sharks have scor ed. There i s f ear apl ent y, andour age br ewi ng. For oncehere i s no t ensi on between l andsman and Sei ner . We are br ot hers bef ore an unpr ej udi ced Deat h.nd, t hough I not e i t not , my soul i s qui t e cont ent .ani on r eel s. Si r ens hoot . Of f i cer s shout . A damage- cont r ol t eam pi l es aboar d an el ect r i c t r ucnd hur r i es t o ai d techni ci ans i n t he af f ect ed ar ea. Behi nd, her e, t he mood tur ns qui ckl y gr i mhough we f eel so l i t t l e, t he damage i s t r emendous t here. Two t housand persons, t en percent ofemon' s popul at i on, per i shed i n a moment - - an oppr essi ve wei ght i ndeed.

nd her e I si t , awai t i ng my dyi ng t ur n.omewhere of f st age, t he Sangaree deci de t hey' ve had enough, l eave us t hei r ghost l y f oe.Sui t s, " says t he bl eak- f aced Sei ner di r ect i ng D. C. oper at i ons. He sees t he end. From l ocker some space- sui t s one by one. I sl i p i nt o mi ne, r ememberi ng I ' ve never worn one except i n f un,

way back dur i ng mi dshi pman t r ai ni ng. I t hi nk of Mouse, not yet here, and wonder what has becomf hi m.ani on scr eams. She whi r l s beneat h me and I f al l . Sui t servos hum and f orce me t o my f eet . Thei ght s pal e, di e, r et ur n as st ored power' s i nj ect ed. I n my heart I know we' r e dead. The sharksave got t en our power and dr i ves. The end.omeone i s yel l i ng my name. "What ?" I r epl y. I ' m t oo scar ed t o l i st en cl osel y, hear onl y t hat eam i s goi ng out . I j ump at t he t r uck. Sei ner hands pul l me aboar d.wenty mi nut es l at er , i n an odd part of t he shi p devoted t o nucl ear pl ant , my t eam capt ai n set

me to seal i ng rupt ur ed pi pi ng. Here whol e passageways are open; occasi onal l y I gl i mpse a st arli ght . I t hi nk not hi ng of i t f or a l ong whi l e. Too busy am I , doi ng t he wor k of a Sei ner .nl y hour s l ater, when the pi pes no l onger bl eed, when I spy a vacuum- r ui ned cor pse t angl ed hi

mass of wi r i ng dar k agai nst an out er gl ow, do I pause. Space. Thi s i s what I ' m not supposed t oee. I must l ook. I wal k t o the hol e, see not hi ng but t he t angl e of har vest shi p.


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st and t her e f r ozen, di sbel i evi ng, I don' t know how l ong. No st ar s. Wher e can we be that t herre no stars?he shi p i s r evol vi ng sl owl y. Somet hi ng gradual l y appear s, t he sour ce of t he gl ow on Dani on' sul l . I r ecogni ze i t . The gal axy, edge on, as seen f r om out si de. My pr emoni t i ons r et ur n to hau

me. Far , I see another harvestshi p cor uscat i ng under shark at t ack. My own has shuddered t oever al whi l e I ' ve wor ked. But my eyes hur r y on, t o a coi n- si zed br i ght ness i n the di r ect i on opi n.el f - i l l umi nat ed, no sun. Beyond t he gal act i c r i m. My hear t st ut t er s, my f ear r edoubl es. Ther enl y one pl ace. . . .t ar ' s End.

What are t he Sei ner s doi ng?omet hi ng br eaks, somethi ng bl ossoms acr oss t he ni ght . Fi r e. Fi r e l i ke a dyi ng star . Aar vest shi p i s bur ni ng i n a f l ame onl y a mul t i di mensi onal shar k coul d i gni t e. They' r e get t i ng

mor e cunni ng, hi t t i ng us wi t h ant i mat t er gases. My gr i ef i s l i ke a physi cal bl ow. I n the cor nef my mi nd, a st r ange voi ce asks, as a Fi sher woul d, i f t he deat h does good f or t he f l eet . Ar ehar ks t her e dyi ng t oo?tar ' s End. My eyes r etur n. Al l my myt hs have hemmed me i n. I serve t he most pl easant , am t r apet ween the wi cked and ugl y - - I have no doubt s t he Sangar ee wi l l soon ret ur n. I t i s not i n thatur e t o qui t when t he st akes ar e so hi gh.he permanenci es of my uni ver se ar e here awar r i ng, and doubt l ess one wi l l f al l . . . I f ear i t .compr ehend why t he Sei ners have come. As al l who seek Star ' s End do, t hey want t he f or t r ess

wor l d' s f abul ous guns. For cent ur i es oppor t uni st s have t r i ed t o mast er t hi s pl anet . Who owns ii mel ess weapons i s di ct ator t o The Ar m. No def ense of t oday coul d st and agai nst St ar' s End' sower . Thi s i s t he sal vat i on f or whi ch the Sei ner s f ai nt l y hope. What I don' t see i s how t heyope t o penet r at e t he pl anet ' s def enses. Bat t l e f l eet s have f ai l ed.t ouch. A voi ce comes by conduct i on. "Let ' s go. Dani on' s hi t i nboar d of us. " I n the wor ds I

magi ne gr eat sadness, but none of t he f ear I f eel . I f ol l ow t he man, r ej oi n my t eam. We ret uro D. C. Cent r al , t hr ough l ocks, t hr ough regi ons of shi p r ui ned as by weapons of war . Har d t oel i eve i t i s done by a creat ur e I can' t even see.hey' ve prepared a r oom f or us t o r el ax i n, saf e enough t o shed our sui t s - - nothi ng t here,

xcept peopl e, t hat shar ks can harm. I see Mouse, f r eshl y wounded.Shoul d' ve bent her, " he says. "Wai t ed me out . Now she' s up to devi l t r y. "l ook at hi s arm. I t ' s mangl ed. Hi s f ace i s dr awn, but he doesn' t compl ai n. She must have r ea

ur pr i sed hi m. "Thi ng l i ke a hat chet , " he says.nl ess t hat ar m i s qui ckl y t ended, hel l l ose i t . I f i nd an of f i cer, ask f or a doctor, get t ol de' s on hi s way. I t hi nk of t he Sangar ee woman.' ve had a f eel i ng f or her , I r eal i ze, a str ange, mi scege- nous desi r e (I ' ve had f eel i ngs f or meopl e, t hough I ' ve l ong l i ed mysel f i nt o not car i ng) . My emot i ons kept me f r om l et t i ng Mouse

what shoul d have been done - - and now I pay. Bef ore me, bl ood of a f r i end; i n my mi nd, aunmet al smi l e. " I ' l l t ake care of i t . "rom t he t ool cri b I dr aw a l aser cut t i ng torch, no quest i ons. The at t endant assumes I need i tut si de D. C. Cent r al I open an access pl ate and make t he adj ust ment s t aught me i n Navy school save an unwi el dy gun. I borr ow an el ect r i c scoot er.he wi l l be somewhere where she t hi nks she can t ake out t he cr ew wi t hout damagi ng t he shi p. Toer mi nd, somet hi ng i nvol vi ng ai r . Hydr oponi cs? No. Cent r al bl ower s. From t her e, by cut t i ng ofi r or i nt r oduci ng chemi cal s, she can neut r al i ze most of us.ar r i ve, see I ' ve reasoned wel l . Dead men guar d t he door . Beyond i s a vast pl ace, as i t must

o ser ve a shi p so huge. Somewher e i n t hi s mechani cal j ungl e she wai t s. . . .i me so swi f t l y passes. A hal f hour depar t s and st i l l I ' m cr eepi ng among Br obdi ngnagi an machi nani on st i l l shi ver s, but t he bat t l e i s so ol d i t no l onger f or ces i t sel f on t he consci ousness' m t i r ed. I ' ve been up f or t went y hour s. Fi nal l y I spy the mi ght y consol f r om whi ch Dani on' sungs are cont r ol l ed.crawl , I cl i mb, I f i nd mysel f a per ch on a hi gh cat wal k f r om whi ch most al l t he boar d' s

i si bl e. I see onl y empt y seat s wher e t echni ci ans once mani pul at ed our ai r , a coupl e of cor psehe' s wel l armed.r om somewhere she appear s, as i f spont aneousl y generated. My eyes have wandered. I l i f t my

weapon and ai m, but . . .Mar i a . . . Mar ya . . . " I t r i ps i t sel f f r om me. She has been cl oser t o me t han most women - -ever met my mot her .er head comes up i n st art l ed pl ay, sear chi ng. Suddenl y t here i s an expl osi on of t hat mocki ngmi l e. "Why Moyshe, what are you doi ng here?" She' s l ooki ng f or me, eyes nar r ow over t he smi l eand on her gun a- t wi t chi ng. "You' r e tr yi ng t o dest r oy us. "he st eps over a dead Sei ner. "Moyshe!" Accusi ng. "Not you. You' d be repatr i ated. "he l i e' s as t al l as a mi l e. Af t er t he Br oken Wi ngs and Von Dr achau' s r ai d, she' l l have my gut

n hermor ni ng t oast . She crosses my ai m r epeat edl y, but I won' t end i t . I can' t . My ai m f al l s.n movi ng I gi ve mysel f away. The gunmetal smi l e i s r epl aced by cl ashi ng- sabers l aught er. Her

weapon j umps up.o t hi s I can r eact . The bl ast r eddens met al where I cr ouched. I ' m i n t he open, r unni ng. I f i r

wi l d, get behi nd some gr eat machi ne. Her shout s mock - - I catch no words - - and beams l i ck amy cover t .' m t er r i f i ed. I ' ve swum t oo deep. I ' ve f ear ed t hi s si nce need dr ove me to t he Bur eau. Now I ' li e. . . .he' s t oo conf i dent of my i nept ness. Somethi ng wi t hi n me br eaks; I r eal i ze t her e i s somet hi ng

whi ch I can bel i eve, somet hi ng t o gr asp, t o ser ve. I gr i n, l augh at my l aughi ng soul . The Gr aiWe' ve f ound i t . We. Thi s shi p, t hi s I , we' r e par t of a We. . . .n al l mar vel ous st upi di t y I st ep i nt o t he open. The woman i s so st ar t l ed she hesi t at es. Agai nhe condi t i oni ng of my pyr ami d of year s, I shoot f i r st .' m st andi ng over her when Fi sher s arr i ve. I have t ear s. I ' ve al ways wonder ed about t hat - - Mor i es as t hough t he dead one wer e hi s brot her , or mor e, f or we val ue br ot her s l i t t l e these dayne t akes t he cut t i ng torch. Another asks, "Moyshe benRabi ?" He knows, of cour se. They' ve been


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wat chi ng. Shi p' s secur i t y doesn' t f ol d because a bat t l e i s on. These, I di scover , wer e comi ng o what I ' ve done. They recei ved or ders concerni ng me whi l e on t hei r way.Yes. "Fel l ow wi t h t he headaches?"nod.

Fol l ow me, pl ease. "do, t hough l ooki ng back at Mari a. Now she i s dead, she i sn' t j ust " t he Sangaree woman. " She

Mar i a, Marya, a woman I may have l oved some odd, unexpl ai nabl e way. Per haps I ' ve had a deat hwif ol l ow, and somewhere al ong the l i ne not e we' r e ent er i ng f or bi dden t er r i t ory, Oper at i ons

ect or, where l andsmen dare not go. Nervous, I l ook around. I t ' s qui eter, more r emote t han t heest of t he shi p. The peopl e we pass seem more al oof t han t he t echni ci ans t o whom I ' m accust omhey must be. They ar e t he men and women who wi l l t hi nk us beyond def eat - - maybe.

We ent er a vast r oom f i l l ed wi t h damaged machi nery. Here t here has been deat h apl ent y; casual t

t i l l wai t ondozen st r et chers. My gui de l eads me to a man. "BenRabi , " he says, depar t s.hi s r oom i s much l i ke a shi p' s br i dge, t hough l ar ger , and t he machi nery unf ami l i ar . I see peon r ecl i ni ng couches, heads hi dden i n gr eat hel mets. Techni ci ans grumbl e over t hem and damagedear . A spat i al di spl ay gl obe l ur ks bl ackl y i n a cor ner . Cent er ed i n i t ar e seven gol den bal l sarvestshi ps. Gol den needl es ar e ser vi ce shi ps, maneuver i ng agai nst sharks por t r ayed as scar l eti sh. Ti ny gol den dr agons at t he peri phery mark what must be di st ant St arf i sh. No Sangaree ar ee seen.Mr . benRabi ! " I r eal i ze t he man i s af t er my at t ent i on. "Why dr agons?"e st ops an angr y word. "I mage f r om our mi nds, ar chet ypal . You' l l see. " "I don' tnderst and. "e i gnores me. "The dr i ves are dead, except mi nddr i ve. For t hat we need power f r om t he Fi sh. Bhar ks have bur ned out most of our mi nd- t echs. " He poi nt s t o the near est st r etcher. The f ace oi r l , a chi l d j ust out of creche, smi l es i n vacant madness. "We haven' t st andbys t o r epl acehem, so we' r e dr awi ng mar gi nal sensi t i ves f r om t he crew. You' r e subj ect t o mi gr ai nes?" od. I ' m r eel i ng. What st r ange thi ng . . . "We want you to go i nt o rappor t wi t h a Fi sh. " Fear .

Memor i es of t er r i bl e, haunt i ng dr eams, of t he pai n r esul t i ng. "I can' t ! "

Oh?" Thi s man has eyes t hat r each f or my soul - - whi ch cowers, t hough i t knows not what t oear . "I don' t know how. " Somehow, t hi s f eel s l ame. "You don' t need t o. You j ust hook up. Thei sh wi l l push t he power t hr ough to t he Hel met . You' r e j ust aecei ver. "But I ' m t i red. I ' ve been awake f or . . . "So i s ever ybody. " He gest ur es i mpat i ent l y. A coupl eomes. "Put hi m i n Number Thr ee. " They nod. Depar t i ng,

hear , "That t he l ast one?" wear i l y.want t o pr otest , but get no chance. The t echs put

me on t he couch. Ah, wel l . I ' ve undoubt edl y f aced worseor t he Bur eau.ne t ech i s a woman remi ni scent of t he pr of essi onal mother of my chi l dhood. She i s gray- hai r edher r y- f aced, chat t er s comf or t abl y whi l e st r appi ng my ar ms t o t he couch' s. She poi nt s out gr i pwi t ches beneat h my f i ngers,oes my l egs.he ot her , a qui et man, ef f i ci ent l y prepares my head f orhe hel met . He rubs me wi t h an unscent ed past e, cover s my hai r wi t h a thi ng l i ke a hai r net . My

cal p pr ot est s a thousand l i t t l e st i ngs t hat qui ckl y f ade. "Li f t , pl ease. " I do. The hel metevour s my head. I ' m bl i nd.gr een ogr e wi t h di r t y cl aws shoves hi s hand i nt o my gut s, gr abs, yanks. My hear t pl ays

at t l edr ums. Words f r om Czyzewski ' s The Ol d Gods: " . . . who sang t he darkf ul deep, and dr agonn t he sky. " My body' s sweat - wet . Sur el y t he cont act s won' t wor k.n my ear s, a voi ce. "Ready, Mr . benRabi . " A sweet - voi ced woman, anci ent t r i ck f or cal mi ng - -

whi ch wor ks. "Depr ess t he ri ght gr i p- swi t ch one cl i ck. "do. Fear ret urns . I ' ve l ost al l sensat i on, I f l oat , see, hear , smel l , f eel not hi ng.

That ' s not bad, i s i t ?" The voi ce of t he pr of essi onal mot her agai n. I r emember t hat pl ump ol dwoman' s l ap and ar ms and l ove ( but we must al l depart t hat nest ) , t he comf ort she gave when Iear ed. . . . "When you' r e ready, depr ess t he swi t ch anot her cl i ck, t hen r el ease i t . To wi t hdrul l up on t he l ef t swi t ch. "depr ess t he swi t ch.

My dr eams r etur n awake, space swi mmi ng, t he gal axy wr ong i n col or , St ar ' s End st r angel y br i ghthi ngs move. I r emember t he di spl ay t ank. Thi s i s l i ke bei ng at t he heart of t hat . Servi ce shir e gl i mmer i ng needl es ( i nvi si bl e t o or di nar y si ght ) , har vest shi ps gl owi ng bal l s of wi r e, shared f i sh- shapes. Far , St ar f i sh ar e gol den Chi nese dr agons, dr i f t i ng l azi l y cl oser .

My terr or f ades as i f a hand i s pushi ng i t back. . . .ent l y war m, a hi nt of voi ce tr i ckl es i nt o my soul . "I do i t . St ar f i sh, Chub. " Ther e' s a wi nd-hi mes t i nkl e of l aught er . "Wat ch. I show me. " smal l dr agon soar s f r om t he di st ant her d, does a ponder ous end- over - end rol l . Shor t l y, "Ol dnes don' t l i ke. Dangerous. But we wi nni ng, new f r i end. Sharks r unni ng. Most dest r oyed. "he cr eat ure' s j oy i s obvi ous. He has t he r i ght . The shar ks ar e abandoni ng t he f l eet .

My terr or i s st i l l gr eat , but t he ni ght creat ur e hol ds i t back, i nf ecti ng me wi t h hi s exci t emei me passes. He l ear ns t he ways of my mi nd. He coul d pl ay me l i ke a musi cal i nst r ument i f he

want ed.Fi r st bat t l e won, " he says when I ' m under cont r ol , "but anot her f i ght come. "What ?" I speak i n retur n wi t h my mi nd.Shi ps- t hat - ki l l , bad ones, ret urn. "How do you know?"No way t o show, t el l . But come, hyper now. Your peopl e pr epare. "go si l ent . So does he. I t ake i n the wonder s about me, t he r i ppl i ng movement of shar ks f ar o

he ponderous appr oach of dr agons, t he shi mmer i ng maneuver s of ser vi ce shi ps, pr epar i ng f ornot her f i ght . The gal axy hangs over al l l i ke a hol e i n t he ni ght . Near by, St ar ' s End si t s,


9/11

wai t i ng.Comi ng, " says my dr agon. My at t ent i on t ur ns. Gl i mmer i ng shi ps appear agai nst t he gal axy.angaree. Down i n my backbr ai n, behi nd my ears, t here i s a gent l e t i ckl e. "Power. "angar ee shi ps r adi at e f r om t he ar r i val zone i n l i nes l i ke oct opus l egs, f or m a hemi spher e. Thnt end t o engl ove us. Far , t he shar ks mi l l uncer t ai nl y, r et r eat .l i ght - bal l f l ar es among t he Sangar ee. A Fi sher mi ne has scor ed. But i t makes no di f f er ence.

hi s bat t l e we can' t wi n. The ser vi ce shi ps number but t en, al l wounded, and even t he most halarvestshi p has l ost power and dr i ves. Mi nddr i ve and st ored power j ust aren' t enough.he Sangaree maneuver cl oser , but t here' s no f i r i ng. My dragon says t hey' r e t r eat i ng wi t h Paynor sur r ender - - a her d' s no good wi t hout a f l eet .he herd dr i f t s cl oser , al most ont o t he Sangaree. They' l l j oi n t hi s bat t l e, but caut i ousl yecause shar ks st i l l wat ch f r om af ar .Fi ght soon. "

he Sangaree f i r e on t he ser vi ce shi ps, our most expendabl e vessel s. They' l l f or ce us t o submihe sl ow, st at el y dance of enmi t y ends. The Sangaree move f ast , ser vi ce shi ps evade, mi ss i l es verywhere l i ke hur r yi ng wasps. Beam- f i r e weaves beaut i f ul webs of deat h. My t err or i s r epl acey depr essi on. I see no way to wi n.ar , a St arf i sh appr oaches a Sangaree. Dangerous. The shi p' s weapons can easi l y dest r oy hi m - -he shi p stops f i r i ng.We do shark - t hi ng, " echoes i n my mi nd, "but more power. We st op f l eet f ast i f no guns. " Anothangar ee f al l s si l ent . A St ar f i sh bur ps gut - f i r e. The bal l hur t l es t hr ough space, so sl owl yeemi ng - - Sangaree burni ng.he hemi sphere cl oses about us. The open si de, t owar d St ar ' s End, grows r api dl y smal l er . Thei amet er shr i nks, t wo har vest shi ps unl eash f i r e of f ant ast i c magni t ude, yet scar cel y enough t oeut r al i ze t he gr owi ng at t ack.he St ar f i sh mi nd- bur n another Sangaree, t urn t o r un.hey' ve wai t ed t oo l ong. Thei r cent r al f i r es ar e seen. Chub' s sadness t ouches my mi nd as aragon di es.he Sangaree gl obe cl oses . Li ke a squeezi ng f i st , t hey t i ght en up, pi l e up t owar d St ar ' s End.hei r at t ack grows t er r i bl e. They begi n pushi ng - - and I see t hei r goal , t he conf used shar ks

mi l l i ng agai nst t he gal axy. I suppose t hey t hi nk we' l l gi ve up bef or e endur i ng that agai n. . . I t works wel l , " my mi ndvoi ce says. " I s hard t o t hi nk t hought s i n bad commander. Sangaree headwi st ed. " The Sangaree are t hi ckl y massed now, pushi ng hard. The shar ks are more agi t ated. Thet ar f i sh ar e cr ui si ng thei r way, r eady t o cover i f we retr eat .he t r i ckl e i n t he r oot of my brai n waxes, becomes a f l ami ng t or r ent . I t hur t s, my God; i t hurur ni ng, t he power sur ges t hr ough me. I ' m scar cel y abl e t o obser ve.hen t he harvest shi ps sur ge t owar d t he Sangaree, al l weapons f i r i ng - - I t hi nk wi t h no ai m, j uo hur l al l dest r uct i on possi bl e. The Sangar ee push back - - but waver , waver .n pai n, I sweep t he ni ght . Sangar ee shi ps bur n, ser vi ce shi ps t he same. A har vest shi p st opshoot i ng. The Sangar ee begi n knocki ng i t apar t - - t hey' ve l ost al l pat i ence. I suf f er anot heradness, my own, f or t hose were my peopl e. . . .he Sangaree wi t hdr aw - - not r et r eat i ng, but pushed. We may not l ast l ong, but our f er oci t y i sor t he moment , gr eat er t han t hei r s.omethi ng screams across my mi nd. I t ' s a mad voi ce babbl i ng, shr i eki ng f ear , i ncoherenci es. Iense l i t t l e sense, but war ni ng touches me, t er r or . Phant oms t aunt , gr ot esquer i es as of t he wo

medi eval i magi nat i on gat her i n space bef ore me, gargoyl es and gorgons, Boschi an ni ghtmareswr i t hi ng, f angs and t al ons and f i r e. They shr i ek, "Go away, or di e! " I nsani t y. They' r e not r ea

' m t r apped i n t he t hought s of a mad mi nd. . . . I scream.i ght mar e i s af t er me l i ke a dr ug dr eam ( i t ' s l i ke descr i pt i ons of st ar dust depr i vat i on) , bur now, wi t h sal amanders. I must escape t hi s haunt ed pl ace. Agai n, I scr eam. The madness deepl yol ds my mi nd.hen t he war m f eel i ng comes, gent l y cal ms my soul , soot hes my f ear , pushes t he t er r or and madnway. My dr agon f r om t he st ars. . . . He t el l s me, "We succeed. Maybe wi n. " Then, dar kl y, "Fear tar ' s End mi nd- t hi ng. Pl anet i s mad machi ne. Mad machi ne use madness weapons.See! "hi el ded by hi s t ouch, I t ur n t o St ar' s End. The Sangar eere si l houet t ed agai nst t he ri ght pl anet . The f ace of t he wor l d i s di seased behi nd t hem, spot tl ackl y, cover ed wi t h sudden cl ouds.see we ar e no l onger advanci ng. I ndeed, t he pl anet i s r ecedi ng. We' r e r unni ng f ul l speed,

i spersi ng. I know t hat , i f we coul d, we' d hyper. But we can' t on mi nddr i ve. Nor can the Sangawhi l e t hey' r e combat - l ocked. A hundr ed mi l es cl oser t han we, t hey' r e scat t eri ng, br eaki ng l ockoo l at e! The mad machi ne' s weapons arr i ve.Cl ose mi nd! Get out ! " my dr agon shr i eks. "Not need power now. " I underst and because of t hear l i er ni ght mar es - - St ar ' s End' s are weapons of a t er r i bl e ki nd, of t he mi nd. I st op l ooki ng

hough I have no eyes t o cl ose here- - l i f t t he swi t ch beneat h my l ef t hand.f eel t he hel met now, t he couch, and l oss. I mi ss my dr agon, and, i n mi ssi ng hi m, I under st an

t ar f i sher s a l i t t l e bet t er , why t hey enj oy bei ng so f ar f r om t he wor l ds of men. Thi s Fi sh- Fi shi ng i s a whol e new exper i ent i al f r ont i er . . . . My body i s wet wi t h sweat , I ' m shi ver i ng colhe r oom i s si l ent . Where ar e my t echs? Am I al one? My head i s a t hunder i ng mi grai ne. Rat i onalhought i s i mpossi bl e. I want f r ee of t he str aps t hat bi nd my l i mbs. . . .ani on st agger s, st agger s, st agger s. I hear screams - - I ' m not al one! Loose t hi ngs r acketround; I suf f er moment ar y vi si ons of beast s of hel l . Ter r or gr i ps me anew. The St ar ' s End

weapons have ar r i ved, and I ' m pi nned her e, hel pl ess. . . .l owl y, sl owl y, i t f ades. The screams di e ( some, I t hi nk, wer e my own) , are gr adual l y r epl acedxci t ed chat t er - - I can di st i ngui sh no wor ds. My head i s t ear i ng i t sel f apar t . I was a ki d t hast t i me i t was t hi s bad. I shout . Someone f i nal l y not i ces me. The hel met comes of f , a syr i ngt abs my neck. Ti ngl es spread. The mi gr ai ne begi ns t o pass.he r oom i s cl oaked i n gl oom. St or ed power i s al most gone, I guess . A drai n, t he f i ght i ng. Buthe f aces I see are j oyous - - wi t h t he except i on of t hose gr uesomel y vacant f ew of mi nd- t echs i dn' t get out i n t i me.


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We' ve won! " says t he mot her i sh hal f of my t ech- t eam. "St ar ' s End ki l l ed t hem. " Not al l , Iuspect , t hough I say not hi ng. Some br oke l ock, and wi l l car r y a gr udge. . . .And f our harvestshi ps, " says a sad- f aced man passi ng. Pyr r hi c vi ct or y. We won, but t her e i s not hi ng to cel ebr at e. Our j oy di es.' m ready f or col l apse, yet hours pass bef or e I rest . Fi rst , I search f or Mouse, f i nd hi m i n Dent r al , un-onsci ous on a st r etcher, hi s arm cr udel y bandaged and spl i nt ed. Then i t ' s back t o my t eam,atchi ng pi pes. There i s so much to do, j ust t o keep Dani on al i ve. But power we event ual l yest or e, l i f e suppor t we repai r , dr i ves we j ur y- r i g. I t ' s not t oo har d. The damage i s mor e t oeopl e t han pl ant ( over hal f t he crew i s gone) . The sur vi vi ng ser vi ce shi ps ar e r ecover ed. A

wat ch f or shar ks i s set , but t hose ni ght mar es have gone t o pl aces of easi er hunt i ng.here i s no t i me f or mourni ng, so f i er ce i s t he bat t l e f or l i f e. We save Dani on, but abandon tt ar ' s End pr oj ect . The war wi t h sharks may wel l be l ost .

Mont hs pass. Somethi ng dr ead appr oaches: t i me t o r etur n t o Carson' s.t i s f i ve mont hs si nce I want dr ank of t he bl ood of my soul . Fi ve peacef ul mont hs. I bel ong,i nal l y - - but I ' m af rai d t o ask to st ay. For weeks I worr y aski ng, deci de, undeci de. I ' m soer r i bl y af r ai d of bei ng turned down; and a l i t t l e af r ai d of bei ng accept ed.ven the days ar e gone now. We' r e down to the hour s, and sti l l I haven' t asked, st i l l I haven'ound t he cour age t o sei ze what I need. I t hi nk of creche days, of st or y t i me, of her oes who wever undeci ded, never af r ai d - - al l f r om t he past . Ther e i s no r oom f or her oes i n t heal ei doscope uni ver se of t oday. ( St r ange. I ' m suddenl y cer t ai n t hat was one of t he t hi ngs I ' veought : heroi sm, t o be a hero. The Br oken Wi ngs was as cl ose as I came. . . . But t hat conj ur ei si ons of Mar i a. )he shi p f or Car son' s depar t s i n t wo hour s. What can I do? I know what I shoul d, but st i l l I fommi t t al , r ej ect i on. I don' t want t o l eave, but what i f st ayi ng i s a mi st ake? The quest i ons Isk mysel f woul d f i l l a book.i nal l y, wi t h j ust an hour r emai ni ng, I seek Mouse. He never has doubt s, no mat t er how much heear s - - paranoi a has i t s r ewards. Maybe he can hel p.

We' ve seen l i t t l e of one anot her si nce t he bat t l e. I ' ve spent most of my t i me i n Oper at i onsector, st i l l f orbi dden hi m ( I ' m bei ng used as a mi nd- t ech - - ar e they expecti ng I ' l l stay? Or

t j ust because they' r e f or ced by ci r cumst ances?) , so he i s bri ght when I ar r i ve. "Hey, how abhess whi l e we' r e wai t i ng?" he asks. He i s addi cted. "Nobody el se wi l l pl ay. " He i s st i l l anut cast .

Maybe a game wi l l r el ax me. I nod. He' s ver y exci t ed, shaki ng a l i t t l e. I har dl y not i ce. Overpeni ng moves, I t r y t o br oach my pr obl em. "Mouse, I want t o st ay. . . . "e l ooks at me st r angel y, as i f wi t h mi xed emot i ons, as i f he expect ed t hi s, but was hopi ng f oomet hi ng el se. "Let ' s t al k about i t af t er t he game. Dr i nk? I t ' l l unwi nd you. "man about t o undergo accel erat i on and temporar y nul l - gr avi t y shoul dn' t , but I nod. He goes t

abi net , get s a bot t l e of somet hi ng pr e- mi xed. Whi l e he' s get t i ng gl asses, I l ook ar ound.ver ythi ng t hat i s Mouse i s gone, except t he chess set . So ni ce t o be sur e. My gear i s packed,ut I s t i l l haven' t sent i t to the servi ce shi p. . . .gl ass br eaks. Mouse cur ses, gat her s t he pi eces, cur ses agai n as he cut s hi msel f . Wi sh he' d q

si ng hi s bad hand. . . . I see why. Wi t h hi s good he' s pushi ng gooey st uf f i nt o and overecur i t y' s bug - - we hunt ed i t up one day af t er St ar' s End, when we want ed t o t al k. He br i ngs r i nks, r etur ns t o the game.t ' s a sl ow one. He studi es each move so car ef ul l y. I down sever al dr i nks, gr ow r el axed, t ur n he t r oubl esome par t of my mi nd. I get i nvol ved. I ' m hol di ng my own. Unusual . He' s f ar t he bet

l ayer, but he seems r emote, di st ur bed. Ti me swi f t l y passes.udden, r api d moves. My queen goes, t hen, "Check- mate!" The al cohol no l onger hel ps. Thi s defust adds t o a growi ng depr ess i on, a smal l symbol of my bi g- t i me l osi ng. A moment l at er , whi l eoxi ng t he pi eces ( he f umbl es wi t h hi s bad hand) , he says, "I kept t hi s out , hopi ng we' d pl ay he way back. You want t o st ay?" "Yes. "That ' s why I ' m her e. " He t ur ns. I see t he f umbl i ng wasn' t pur posel ess. I n hi s good hand i s ai sher weapon. I gr oan.You shoul d' ve f i gur ed, Moyshe. Wheel s wi t hi n wheel s. " ( Maybe I di d down deep, and came t o Mouor an easy answer . ) "Psych f i gur ed you' d f al l , f i gur ed you' d get wher e I coul dn' t . So t hey seou out as a remote dat a- col l ect i ng devi ce - - and I ' m your keeper. That i s t he wor m gnawi nground t he cor e of al l t he r ot t en pl ans. " Thi s i s a l ong speech f or Mouse. He' s doi ng somet hi n

mor e t han t r yi ng t o expl ai n - - maybe he doesn' t l i ke what he' s doi ng. "We' r e f r i ends, so l et ' sl ay i t gent l e, eh?"es, gent l e. As i n chess , he out ski l l s me here. I ' m t he hal f of t he t eam who al ways does t hesof t , " peopl e st uf f . He does t he "har d. " He may l i ke me, but he wi l l , and easi l y can, ki l l me

don' t cooper at e. I l ook at hi s f ace. Ther e' s pai n ther e. Ther e' s somet hi ng he want s t o t el l - maybe, j ust maybe, he doesn' t want t o go hi msel f . I ' d best not push i f he' s under st r ess. H

ver r eact . My shoul der s sl ump f or war d. I sur r ender . Back t o bei ng a chi p i n t he st r eam.r ead voi ce thr ough Dani on, godl i ke, cal l i ng us t o t he depar t ur e st at i on f or pay- of f and checkut . Mouse pocket s hi s weapon. "Sorr y, Moyshe. " under st and. " But I don' t , of cour se.e nods at t he door . We go. I gi ve hi m no t r oubl e al l t he way, even when oppor t uni t y occur s. Iur e I coul d do somet hi ng i n the cr owd t her e. But I ' ve sur r ender ed al l . No home. Guess I ' l l neave one. Back t o bei ng a chi p i n a uni ver se l i ke Si err an r i ver s r agi ng. Back t o the begi nni ngo home. . . .Mr . benRabi ?" Here' s a man comi ng thr ough t he pr ess, my bags i n hi s hands. "You l ef t t hese. "know t hi s man. He' s Secur i t y, t he f el l ow who f i r st t ook me i nt o Operat i ons Sect or. He steps

et ween Mouse and me. Landsmen mi l l exci t edl y around us, t al ki ng exci t edl y of home, r ushi ng t ohe paymaster when t hei r names are cal l ed. I don' t r eal l y not i ce i n my shock.The gun, pl ease?" There are several of t hem now, al l around. Mouse sur r enders hi s weapon meek t ol d Beckhar t i t woul dn' t wor k. " He l ooks shat t er ed.We' l l have t o hol d you. "here' s a st i r among t he l andsmen, a conf used shout , scr eams. A Sei ner t wi st s past me, f al l i ngn expr essi on of i ncredi bl e sur pr i se on the unbur ned hal f of hi s f ace. Now t her e' s scr eami ng,


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unni ng, Secur i t y men pl ungi ng i nt o t he crowd. . . .Wheel s wi t hi n wheel s, and t hi s was mi ne, " Mouse says. " I t hought Beckhart woul d have a f ai l -af er aboar d. " ( Fai l - saf er . Tr ade t er m f or a f anat i c sent on a mi ssi on, unknown t o the mi ssi ono assassi nate agent s about t o def ect or be capt ur ed. Di dn' t know we used them any more. Sur ei dn' t t hi nk Mouse and I wer e t hat i mpor t ant . ) "Sor r y, Moyshe. I coul dn' t t el l you. Had t o havou thi nki ng I meant what I was doi ng. " Di d he? Or was he j ust bendi ng wi t h t he br eeze? "Had tpot hi m bef or e we went over . Ot her wi se . . . " He shr ugs, t hen smi l es. So do I . I ' l l bel i eve hhere' r e mor e shot s, t hen t he Sei ners cat ch t hei r man - - now we' r e home f r ee. Home, af t er al lnd wi t h a f r i end.

cook, glen - and dragons in the sky

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