1 Build your business & blog with love 12 Love for your contributors 43 Beautiful branding 74 Magical web presence 115 Heart filled communication 176 Embracing public speaking 227 Soulful networking and relationships 288 Sassy self promotion 339 Being a social media socialite 3910 The gift of setbacks 4311 Comparing yourself less, loving yourself more 4712 Making criticism work for you 5313 Charging what you’re really worth 5814 Non sucky sales and selling 6315 Invest in yourself 6916 Embrace yourself. Be beautiful. 7417 Your contributors 8118 Your author 9219 Affiliate information 93

Contents

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Congratulations!You’re in business or want to be in business. You have a blog or want a blog.

You’ve made the decision to put yourself out there, go it alone and be your own payroll officer and webpreneur. How amazing.

If you’ve been talking to others about being an entrepreneur or blogger, you’ve probably been inundated with advice, stories, questions and criticism - and your website isn’t even up yet. Get used to it beautiful. There’ll be more to come.

You may already have a website or blog. Amazing products you have made with your own brains and hands, or sourced and masterminded to sell. You’ve educated yourself and honed your skills to be able to deliver that service - that extension of you - that you know others need. You’re writing and engaging and getting more and more comments.

Every distant family member and acquaintance, let alone immediate family member and friend, knows you are puttin’ it

out there and have become your own boss. You’ve researched. Studied. Done your homework.

Facebook page? Twitter account? Of course.

You’re ready.

Your long held dream to be your own master and go into business for your beautiful self is here or indeed, already happening. There’s nothing stopping you.

Except maybe for one thing.You.Because let me give it to you straight between the eyes beautiful you - you can have the most amazing product knowledge, beautiful logo and all the business accoutrements you could possibly need, but if you don’t have the self-confidence, belief, and yes, love for yourself, that entrepreneurship and business requires - you’ll never reach the heights you really want to. Or really deserve to.

Build your business & blog with love

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When you love yourself you create a brand, blog and website that is utterly YOU. It’s like looking into your soul or sinking into a comfy chair in your own home.

When you love yourself you speak your truth. You write, blog, tweet, facebook and engage in the same way as if someone was standing right in front of you.

When you love yourself you would never turn down a chance to speak in public, be on a panel or go to a networking function because you felt you weren’t good enough. You’ve got your own back.

When you love yourself you embrace self-promotion. Yes. Embrace it. You openly put your brand, business and self out there in a way that is loving and respectful, and you watch the clients, customers and readers come to you as a result.

When you love yourself you create beautiful social media interactions by giving of yourself first and selling of yourself second. Always.

When you love yourself you crawl, smile and sashay your back from setbacks and criticism. You’re a resilient self-loving warrior and petty jealousy or even an entire and expensive loss is not going to beat you. Nuh-uh.

When you love yourself you don’t compare yourself or your business or your blog to anyone else. Why would you? You’re incomparable.

When you love yourself you charge what your services or products or online real estate are really worth. Enough said.

When you love yourself you spend money on you and your business. You work with the best you can afford and don’t think twice about the fact that your monthly massage or tarot card reading is abso-freaking-lutely gonna make you a better entrepreneur.

When you love yourself you don’t hide away because you’re worried you’re not thin enough/pretty enough/young enough/tall enough/anything enough. You’re you. And you’re enough beautiful you. You’re enough.

So if you’re about to jump out of a plane and into the world of entrepreneurship or you’re already screaming with terror/joy/amazement and exhilaration at running your own game, then it’s time to fall in love with self-love. It’s time to see how self-love can immeasurably impact every business decision you make - for the better. How it can raise your profile. Build meaningful relationships. Improve your business confidence. Help you grow and reach and

Learning to love and respect yourself makes absolute business sense. In so many ways...

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extend and connect. And oh yeah - bring you more clients, customers, readers and money. That too.

You’re about to learn from some of the best of the best about the incredible value of self-love and its role in business success. Incredible women who are coaches, fashion designers, entrepreneurs, bloggers, experts, health warriors, copywriters and so much more.

They love themselves. They own incredible businesses. They write beautiful blogs.

That’s not a coincidence.

I send you much love, but never more than I know you can find within yourself.

Be Yourself. Be Beautiful.Julie Parker

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I have either worked with or personally approached every incredible woman who has contributed to the loving guide you are now reading. They inspire, challenge and lift me up to make my own business better and I love each of them for the role they have played in my life and the role I know they play in the lives of so many others as well.

A little love for each…

Michelle Marie McGrathMichelle has such a beautiful brand I could not pass up the opportunity to ask her to share her own branding success and philosophy with us. We have worked, laughed and shared together and if my husband is ever stuck for a gift for me - I send him straight to Sacred Self. Drink in her divinity.

Rachel W ColeI drew in a small breath when I first saw Rachel’s website. It was so serene, beautiful and soulful which is just how I imagine her to be in real life. Any woman who believes

in feeding your true hunger is absolutely on song with me and I’m delighted she agreed to share her web development experience with us.

Amy E SmithThe word ass or shit don’t appear anywhere on my website. They do on Amy’s because she’s a no-holds-barred communicatrix and I wanted her ‘bad’ to be the person who inspired you to voice the true words of your heart. When we meet one day, (because I’m sure we will), I think there will vodka and laughter involved.

Dannielle MillerThis lady makes her living out of public speaking. She’s good. Really, really good. Who better to share her wisdom on stepping up to the mic’ than Dannielle? There was no-one else. She’s a tour-de-force of passion, purpose and power and I’m proud to know her and advocate for a better world for girls and women together.

Love for your contributors

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Mara GlatzelPut simply, Mara writes one of the best positive body image blogs on the interwebs - not to mention she’s an amazing coach. She’s so young but so wise, so beautiful but so humble, so well lived but so fresh. We’ve talked, skyped, tweeted and facebooked and I’m touched she agreed to share her thoughts on building soulful relationships with us.

Melissa WardyMelissa was one of the first people I followed on twitter. I was inspired by her fierce defence of girls to be able to have a non-sexualised childhood as well as her incredibly targeted and clearly successful self-promotion. There was no-one else who came to mind when I wanted you to learn about putting yourself out there in a respectful, powerful and effective way.

Tia SparklesTia has helped so many of my clients and me with them as their coach. She’s a champion of supporting multi-passionate people and a rocker of social media. I often send people to her rich and inspirational website and facebook page, and you could learn from no-one better about how to make social media rock your biz and blog.

Anna LinklaterIs there anything more powerful and inspiring than a young woman who is following her heart and living her life her way, now, rather than years down the track? That’s just what Anna is doing. She’s as beautiful in person as she is online and I know very well the knock down’s she’s experienced. She has wisdom to share on how to get right back up.

Stephanie PollockI went searching and searching for the perfect person to both share and show the futility of comparing yourself and your business to others and I was blessed to unearth Stephanie. And what an unearthing. Get yourself on board with this lady’s incredible spirit and work. She’s got it going on. And on.

Jessica AinscoughShe doesn’t know it but I had tears well in my eyes when I first met her. I had been so touched by her journey with cancer that I just wanted to reach out and hug her. I’ve watched her be showered with criticism for daring to go against the grain and respond with the incredible grace of a woman beyond her years. Don’t know how to handle the knockers? She’s got you covered.

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Tara GentileWhat can I say? Working with her helped me completely get real about money and my right to earn it my way without apology and with artful joy. She’s the best, the very best, at what she does. To say I was thrilled when she said she would share her thoughts on self-worth, love and money with us is an understatement.

Christine KaneSuper successful. I mean super. She’s worked with thousands of clients and companies world-wide and has infinite wisdom about making sales and selling not suck. All that and she still had time to say yes to my request of sharing her wisdom. Now that’s true connection, collaboration and care. Christine style.

Alexandra FranzenI hold no reservation in saying that employing Alexandra as my copywriter completely propelled my business into the realm I had only ever dreamed of. She came to me at just the right time and deeply inspired me not only with her words, but how she so openly shared how she spent her money investing in working with the best of best people. I heart her and I know you will too.

Sally McGrawSally loves every part of you and wants you to do the same. Her website is deep and rich and real, with every conceivable body image, self-worth, style and fashion topic you could possibly imagine. Like me, Sally believes that learning to love your body can be the foundation to incredible and amazing things happening for you and your business. Her message is as beautiful as her.

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When you love yourself you create a brand that reflects you. It’s something that is YOU on a screen, or card, or piece of paper. It’s your style and a public expression of your taste.

A self-loving brand is one that comes from your heart and is not influenced by others or selling and marketing goals. The sales will come when you create a brand that has YOU at its centre.

If you’re a free-spirited and quirky artist why choose a brand that is sharp and clean? Go as wild as your soul wants to truly be! Bright turquoise tiger stripes with purple lace scalloped edging? Why not?

If you’re a bold, in ya face go-getter - get that slammed down on your business card or in your logo and branding STAT. There’s not a moment to lose. Probably best you steer clear of beige. Because clearly you’re anything but.

Not a crowd follower? On your own path? Planet? Don’t fence yourself in oh different one. Fling open the gates and pour your

true self into that brand. Really want orange when the hot colour of the season is grey? Do it. Don’t even want a logo; just a great font? Do it. We want to see the real you.

We want to see all of you.

Not a carbon copy of someone else or what you think someone else may want to see.

When people look at a brand whether it be on a business card or facebook page or website, they want to know that what they are seeing - the colours - the font - the feel - the vibe - the look - is what that person is really like. Why? Because they can then connect. And once you have someone connect with you - what you can give to them becomes limitless. Your time, your products, your newsletter, your tweets.

You’ve resonated with them. They want in on what you got.

And that’s where the real fun begins.

Beautifulbranding

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beautiful self-loving brandsThe Darling Tree - Soft:: Feminine:: Professional (Take a look at how Joanna Klima’s

personal style, look, and way of communicating, aligns beautifully with her brand.)

SARK - Quirky:: Colourful:: Bright (When you’re given and taken name is Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy how could your brand be anything but?)

Sass & Bide - Strong:: Cool:: Clean (The essence of minimalistic confidence and style, Heidi and Sarah-Jane’s heart is surely sewn in every label.)

beauty boxI love the colour pink. When it came time to develop my own branding I knew in my heart I wanted it to have an element of pink in it. But I had concerns in my early days that it might have been perceived as girly, overly feminine and not serious enough. I

chatted with some friends about it. Some said go for it, others said - pink - no way - not serious enough - not cool enough - will alienate people.

Walking with fear on my shoulder beautiful you initially started out with no pink, but every time I saw it I just didn’t love it. It wasn’t talking to me let alone singing to me. So I switched to a pale pink colour for my main header and when I first saw it I couldn’t stop

smiling. It was love at first sight. And it still is.

The beautiful you brand is a total expression of the colour and look I love. It’s warm, gentle, caring, loving, engaging.

It’s me.

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Sacred Self’s brand is a direct reflection of my journey of learning to love myself.

I never set out to create a business or a brand about self-love. It evolved organically as an integral part of my own healing experiences and personal challenges through life’s ups and downs. Those experiences kept bringing me back to my need for self-love. It has been such a personal exploration into the parts of myself and feelings that I found most challenging.

The products I’ve created came about as I explored the aspects of me I found the most difficult to acknowledge. Sacred Self is an extension of me and my experiences. My intention in moving forward is that as I share this information and tools with others, it assists them on their own self-love journey.

I never considered what would appeal to anyone else when creating my brand. I assume that whoever is resonating with my intention and message will be naturally

“If you are not in love with your brand and

excited by it, then you can guarantee that no-

one else will be!”

A sacred brand Michelle Marie McGrath

drawn to my products, if that is relevant for them. I have no interest in trying to persuade or ‘sell’ in the traditional sense; it is not a focus. What is important to me, in creating my products, is reminding people that all their power is within. No-one can make us feel anything without our consent. No-one can ‘heal’ anything for us; only we can allow this transformation.

Yes we may connect with inspiring, uplifting, like hearted people who can hold a loving space for us. However, it is only when we give ourselves permission that any changes occur. When we take responsibility and move out of a victim role, situations can change very quickly. When we acknowledge all parts of ourselves and take responsibility for how we react and respond, there is no limit to our potential.

My logo is an image of an open heart. To me, it is that simple. When we open our hearts to ourselves and the limitless possibilities that lie within us, magic occurs. I believe

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in unity consciousness and that everyone is a reflection of a part of me. The brand is congruent with my own steps on the path of self-love. My intention is to reflect this outwards to spread the message of self-love around the world, not only through my products but through my branding.

I would advise anyone who is setting up a brand for their business to focus on what you love and what appeals to you.I know it sounds cheesy but never compromise your integrity. Be able to look yourself in the eye and be true to you.

If something does not feel in alignment with your values, then do not sell yourself short and devalue your brand or yourself!Ask yourself how is this adding value to someone else’s life? Is there a problem that your business is solving? If you have a product that is also being sold by other businesses consider if you have a unique or quirky angle, so you can create a point of difference. Do not put much time and focus into what you ‘think’ is going to be well received, if it is not something that ignites a spark in you. If you are not in love with your brand and excited by it, then you can guarantee that no-one else will be!

What is the first impression that you want someone to have when they see or interact

with your brand? What is the message that you are trying to convey? Just because you know what this is, do not assume this is obvious to anyone else. If there was a word, phrase or feeling that you would like to evoke what would it be? Keep it simple and be able to describe it in a sentence. Ask a few people who know nothing about you to tell you how they feel and what impressions they receive when they see your brand. Was this your desired result?

New business opportunities arise for me every day, as I learn to love and celebrate all parts of myself. It is a direct reflection of where I am at. I urge everyone to befriend themselves, dive into their fears, explore what’s underneath and allow the hidden gems to reveal themselves. Who knows what opportunities could be lurking under the one area that you are avoiding? A wonderful business idea could arise that had never occurred to you before. The world needs the real you!

I am being increasingly pushed outside of my comfort zone in ways I did not anticipate. Never could I have foreseen that I would create a business about self-love, even though now it seems obvious as it’s been my biggest challenge. There is that old saying that you teach what you most need to learn and from personal experience I have to agree. I feel excited every day about the possibilities that are opening up for me, as I open more deeply to loving myself.

Spreading my passion about the importance of self-love around the world is an integral component of this journey. It somehow makes everything so much more worthwhile and meaningful for me.

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Magical web presence

If you want to reach as many people with your products or services that could quite literally rock their world - you need to be working 24 hours a day. Yep. 24 hours. Non-stop. Always on.

Before you freak out and reach for a triple strength coffee or energy drink (!) take a deep breath. You don’t need to be physically awake and you, your precious self, working 24 hours a day. You just need a website or blog - often both!

Phew.

And I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone to tell you that you don’t need one if you’re running a business. Truth time? You do.

There are millions (could it be even billions?) of websites floating on the net and some of them are very sucky and yucky. Others are truly beautiful, authentic and magical. And because I know that’s what you are (beautiful, authentic and magical that is), then that’s what your website and blog should be too.

I’m not here to tell you about what you should do to make the functionality of your site better or advise you on things like sign up forms, spacing, or your grammar. What I most want for your website is something that while you are out enjoying life or getting your beauty sleep is truly representing you to the world.

Apart from the ‘look’ of your site and blog which is so deeply steeped in your branding (as we have just discussed) I think this begins with your About Page - which - if you didn’t know - is the second most visited page of any website after your home page. So is it important? Yes. It’s important.

There are no hard and fast rules here about being a self-loving webpreneur, but here are a few gems that can see your About Page sing through the screen….

• Tell the truth about beautiful you. No one wants a spiel. They just want you.

• Don’t describe yourself in the third person. Own that “I” sister. It’s more

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personal, real and relatable. And you know what happens when people relate? They want more of you and what you have to offer.

• Share as much about yourself as feels right for you and you alone. Want to tell everyone about your crazy back packing adventure through Cuba? Go for it. Want to share that you’re a slightly nutty Mum who is juggling 376 things at once? Go for it. Just want to keep things straightforward and simple. Go for it.

• Reflect your personality in what you share about yourself. If you have an amazing sense of humour - tell a joke or share a funny anecdote. If you’re more shy and reserved, don’t feel you have to be something you’re not by describing yourself in a way that simply isn’t you. You’re more than enough you know.

Once you’ve nailed your About Page in an authentic way then I believe you will immediately begin to attract to you the readers, clients and customers that are right for you. You are reaching out to them through that screen and into their head or heart in a way that is utterly real. And there’s nothing more compelling than that.

From there if you remember to keep your site clean and easy to navigate, appealing to the eye, lovingly spell checked and appropriately spaced then - boy - there’ll be no stopping you.

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beauty boxSome feedback I have been blessed to receive about the beautiful you website:

“I felt like I knew you before we even met.”

“Everything about your website resonated with me.”

“Your site made me feel comfortable and supported enough to contact you.”

“At last, a counsellor who shows their face and tells people a little bit about themselves. I feel connected to you and want to make an appointment.”

This is absolutely not going to be the way every person who views my website feels. But for the people I am meant to connect and work with? It means it’s right on.

beautiful websitesThe Happi Empire - Bright:: Pretty:: Inspirational (And when young entrepreneur

Frances Verbeek shows herself like this on her About Page what is there left to say but - love it.)

Pretty Fluffy - Adorable:: Engaging:: Heart-Melting (Love dogs? This site is so damn cute it will make you love them more. Don’t like dogs? Don’t look at this site because it’s so

fabulous it’s likely to change your mind)

Tara Mohr - Wise:: Soulful:: Beautiful (When you look into Tara’s eyes you can see how her whole website is, well, simply her.)

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In the months before the launch of my site, I knew it was deeply authentic and only hoped that it would be pleasing on the eyes and comforting to the hearts of the people that stopped by.

However, I did not expect such a huge outpouring for the aesthetic and my message. In the four days post the launch I received so much enthusiasm that affirmed for me that I was in the right place doing the right work. How did I celebrate?

Truth? I went for a long overdue haircut (I’d been rocking the ‘recession do’) and accidentally opened a $120 bottle of wine I was saving for a special occasion (I received the bottle in a posh food conference gift bag)…it was as if the Universe were toasting to my happy day.

The best advice I received… Go on; drink the Danielle LaPorte Kool-Aid. It tastes so good. I could wax poetic about the impact this woman has had on my life, but I’ll just say that her advice to have a single online home for all of who we are (rather than

Hanging my digital shingleRachel W Cole

many websites) lead me to create my site.

The part that came first… On my Creative Projects page I say:

“Whatever you are a conduit for, whatever comes through you with

joy and meaning, this is your art and encouraging it is key to living your best

life.”

There are those moments, inconveniently usually in the middle of the night, when words just start to pour from my fingers. Last summer, Feeding Hungers, my coaching credo, crawled out from what felt like the depths of my soul. It was the first piece of the mostly-intuitive map I’d follow to get here.

Okay, okay, the part that REALLY came first… I joke that the site took me my whole life to create…and in some ways it’s been unfolding inside me for that long. But the first true seedling of what you see came in another middle-of-the-night creative fit, when The Porridge Manifesto was born.

“When it came time to craft my site I knew

that it had to say ‘I’m here to play for real. I’m here to play for keeps.’”

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That was four years ago. It came out with a force and has refused to go away. It has stayed with me and less-than-softly whispered into my ear “publish me” since the day I wrote it. The same is true for the other Creative Projects…they emerged long ago and made it known to me they were here to stay until I unleashed them into the world.

What pours out of you (or wants to)? What tugs at your heart? What crazy idea or project or dream wants to be born from you?

How I found my designer… Teresa Aguilera, the creative force behind Spindle Desco is the designer I worked with. I came to her synchronistically (like all good things in life) when, at a previous job, I was asked to compile a list of websites I liked. On my list was the uber-clean website for Rebar and the uplifting site for Mondo Beyondo. I scrolled down to the footer of each to find: Spindle Desco. Then, last summer I stumbled upon Wise Living and it took my breath away. Perhaps you’ll see some similarities to Tara’s site and mine. When I once again saw Spindle Desco I knew that I would move mountains to work with her. She was meant to be my designer. Turns out I only had to move a few hills, but my big take away is…

Whatever we’re attracted to is often all the guidance we need.The best action I took… I created a digital mood board to help me articulate to Teresa, to Paige, and to Alvaro (who designed The Porridge Manifesto and Wisdom book) the FEEL (not just the look) of my site. I knew that I wanted my website to be as comfortable

and nurturing as my home and creating a digital mood board set the design ball in motion resulting in a site I love to visit!

The best decision I made… I’ve too often heard friends and clients say “I feel so torn…I want to be X and Y and I don’t know how to pick” or “I have too many interests, I can’t seem to find a focus.” I’m not on the “narrow yourself” train. I think we’re all patchwork quilts and it’s the sum that makes us so powerful. I decided early on in this project that while it may be challenging to present my multi-faceted self (graffiti and coaching? porridge and wisdom?) in a cohesive and resonant way, that I would not sacrifice any part of me. Yes, you can see there is a common thread that runs throughout it all, but that’s only because I looked and listened for it, I had faith it all made sense somehow, and I honoured each piece.

Don’t be quick to cut your story down or to drop a piece you think doesn’t make sense. Find the thread, then give us your ALL.The hardest part… You probably wouldn’t guess this, but the hardest part of launching the site was deciding where to mention (or not mention) that I had recovered from an eating disorder. I struggled to find the balance between the importance of the experience and the possible downsides of sharing it. I knew that it had profoundly shaped me, that sharing it could allow me to connect to others I could help, and that my work is based on authenticity. I also

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knew that it’s a topic people have a lot of preconceived assumptions about and that I didn’t want to pigeon hold myself as “The Eating Disorder Coach” (even though I love to work with people in recovery).

I sought guidance from many wise people about how to hit the right note. That tiny one line you see today took nearly a year of agonizing and inner-work for me.

Stand in the truth of who you are knowing that your scars are some of your most precious gifts.

What I wish I knew then… Like housing renovations and cooking risotto, launching a website takes WAY longer than you think. Or least longer than I thought. Can’t say why I thought I could launch it in three months…but January 31st was the original planned birthday. Looking back that’s totally laughable. It took about 6 months. Worth the wait.

How much I spent… Most of the people I hired to help with my site charged me significantly less than their standard rates because they either believed in my work, knew I was just starting on limited funds, or were feeling crazy generous the day I got in touch. I look forward to the day I can write them each a check for what I know was work so much more valuable than what I paid for it.

I don’t believe you need to spend this much in order to do your work in the world or be creative or even have a killer website. It was a personal decision that worked for me. If you’re one of the many people who have asked what the site costs, I hope my sharing it will help you.

To start, I’ll say that in my line of work, there is minimal overhead. I don’t have a storefront,

a fancy designer uniform, or a lengthy commute to the office. I have my site, my phone, and my training. So I felt comfortable investing in my digital calling-card. I am not a trust-fund baby. This all came out of my own pocket. An investment in dreams and in being of service. Well spent I do believe.

The total cost for the site design, photography, development, and book design was $4500.

What the ‘W’ is all about… The anticlimactic reason I use the W as my professional name is because www.rachelcole.com, while available for registration last I checked, is $1800 and I’d rather spend that money on good site design or organic cotton bedding or an awesome e-course. W, my middle initial, stands for Ware. It is my mother’s last name - she didn’t change it when she married my dad, but they’re still together. I like using it and it made playing with fonts for the site, so much more fun.

What I wanted the site to communicate…When you’re in the business of wisdom, of guidance, and of life’s depths and widths there’s often a prejudice that you need to be of a certain age to have any cred. It’s true, I’m young and I’ve got more life to live (hallelujah) AND when it comes to my work I’m solid, called, and pretty powerful in the realms of coaching, scheming, creating, and serving. So, when it came time to craft my site I knew that it had to say…

‘I’m here to play for real. I’m here to play for keeps.’Because I am. And I think it does.

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When you love yourself you speak your truth.

You express yourself in a way that is conversational and reflects what you would be like when delivering your service or goods in person, or indeed if someone ran into you at the local bakery picking up a custard tart, or at a fabulous networking event.

If you’re not a reserved and formal person - why write your content that way? If you have a wicked sense of humour - share it! Really want to tell your customers or readers something authentic about yourself but afraid? What for?

Those who are meant to stay and be with you, will stay and be with you. Those that aren’t meant to work with you or buy from you or read your blog won’t. And that’s OK. Truly. It is.

Don’t write for your customers or even your readers. Write for you first, in a way that you love and resonates personally. Of course you have to include all the vital information you need to that encourages an engagement or sale, but there are ways to do that where you can connect with people on a deep, deep level. And that begins by being yourself and communicating your truth.

Let the real beautiful you shine through in your words. The world is waiting for you…

The real you….

And only the real you.

Heart filled communication

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beauty boxIf you take a look at most counsellors’ websites you might note that many of them don’t

give a great deal away about who they are. Qualifications, therapeutic approaches and practice philosophies are usually mentioned and if lucky, they may note if they are

married or have children and what part of the world they live in.

When I first started practicing and had a website, my description of myself was exactly like that - very professional - but in truth, very vanilla. I had thought (or should I say

assumed) that it wasn’t the right thing to do to share too much of myself; that it would somehow be seen as unprofessional.

And then I just decided to reveal myself as I truly am, but still of course reassuring people that yes, indeed, I put in the years at University and am qualified, and that I take the

healing process and a potential clients concerns very seriously. I also wanted to really connect with anyone who was truly struggling with making the very big decision to come and tell their deepest concerns and issues to someone; letting them in a little

and showing as much of myself as I possibly could to hopefully make them feel more comfortable and less afraid.

By being myself and sharing more of myself through my online communication and words I wanted to be unafraid of revealing myself when I expected my clients to do the same. It’s not the same of course, but I feel it makes me more real and relatable. And those things work for me and time and time again. I’m told by others it works for them

too in making the decision to come and see me. Which I’m so grateful for.

beautiful communicatorsAndrea Owen/Your Kick Ass Life - Bold:: Raw:: Real (A no holdin’ back, straight

shootin’ up, potty mouthed coach extraordinaire. If she couldn’t help you learn to love yourself I’d eat my own shorts, let alone Bart’s.)

Sue Muller/Smile Chickie - Funny:: Quirky:: Friendly (Just follow the Smile Chickie Facebook Page and you’ll know Sue is, well, just Sue. There’s no pause between her

head, heart and words and people love her for it.)

Erica Bartle/Girl With A Satchel - Authentic:: Open:: Gentle (A writer, blogger and magazine junkie with a penchant for all things girly - and God. Erica’s beautiful writing

comes straight from her heart, making you ask questions about not just what she believes in, but what you believe in too.)

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Communicating in a very strong and particular way is pretty much the life blood of what I do! It’s extremely important to me.

I feel like I am best at serving others when I can provide an example of authenticity. One of the most liberating aspects of being a coach is that I’m truly in the business of being ME. There is so much freedom in knowing that I don’t need to be the coach for everyone and additionally, there are many clients who aren’t for me either!

For those who know me in my personal and professional life, it is clear that there really isn’t any difference. I love that. I thrive on that. I’m a straight-shooter, totally animated and dramatic, a badass, and a total potty mouth… in all areas of my life, my biz included.

What has been hugely encouraging to me over the years is that the more in alignment I am with my authentic self (which means not apologizing for who I am); the more I pull the perfect audience to me. The more I find my

Heart filled communicationAmy E Smith

tribe. Pretty priceless.

Heart Filled Communication

I love the term heart filled communication. To me it means one word. Authentic. Someone communicating with me from a heart-filled place equals intimacy. Truly being seen. What a gift!

As for me, my mother always said, “Well, you never have to wonder what Amy’s thinking…” For whatever reason, I always felt like I needed to communicate in the most authentic place possible… be who I REALLY am. I have intentionally gathered to myself clients, colleagues, and friends who value the same heart-filled communication. Heart filled communication is sharing at a deeply personal and intimate level. Something I thrive on.

Tone it Down? Never!

In short, I have never felt it necessary to tone down or squash my real voice. I’ve never been at a point where I felt like I that would be a good

“The more in alignment I am with my authentic self (which means not apologizing for who I am); the more I pull the perfect audience to me.”

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move for me. I have zero interest in making everyone happy. I’m super comfortable not being the coach for everyone.

It’s really simple: I cater to people who are like-minded. People who “get” me and operate in the same way. The people who don’t dig it, move on and the people who do, are complete loyalists and that’s what is super important to me.

The idea of being vanilla and p.c. makes me want to vomit. I want people to wake the fuck up and pay attention! I love jarring ideas that spark self realization and introspection. Now, it’s not to say that I haven’t had some brazen opposition. But when I get the loudest, I find that I get the most positive response as well. I find more of my tribe. People wanting a refreshing stance.

I can handle a few nay-sayers along the way. I just politely invite them to move on. [grin].

I’m extremely intentional about not trying to persuade someone to like me and my biz. I’m too busy helping my tribe live the life they desire. My Communication Style

I have always been extremely outspoken and it certainly has gotten me in trouble in the past. I went to a conservative Christian high school where we were not permitted to wear ripped jeans. I would duck tape my jeans to prove a point, and then ask the administration if I looked more like a

Christian now that I didn’t have any holes in my jeans. So, yeah… I’ve always been a bit of a trailblazer in this department.

There was a time early in my biz, where I wasn’t sure that my authentic self was “professional”. I let go of that pretty quick when I realized that a) I get to define my own professionalism and b) there was a huge market of people who desired the message I had in the package in which I was delivering. As I like to say, there’s a reason why there is more than one political party in this country. And more than one religion. You go to the message that resonates. Period.

Alienating People

I really don’t give a shit if I alienate people. If I offend you, then you aren’t for me either, so it works out perfectly. I’m never interested in tempering myself in order to make someone more comfortable. Plus, I definitely think being uncomfortable pushes you to grow.

Resonating

Has my style of communication attracted people who want to work with me?

For. Fucking. Sure.

Pretty simple: I either resonate with you or I don’t. Done and done. It’s much like a magnet: If someone digs me and my message, they are stuck to me for life and extremely loyal. If not, they are totally repelled. I love the polarized effect because it means I’m really, truly standing for something.

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Self-Love and Communication

Self-love has been completely paramount in my business. I seriously don’t think I could do what I do without it. I really believe that coaching is a profession of integrity and it is imperative that we walk our talk. Not just for ourselves, but for the coaching community at large. It’s certainly not to say that I don’t have times of self-doubt and total ups and downs, but those issues are always fleeting. I can always get back in touch with who I am in this world, the message I am compelled to deliver, and why that is so incredibly important.

I love the woman that I am, and so much of what I do is empowering others to fall in love with self too! Without love of self, I would be on a constant journey to find fulfilment outside of myself which is always disappointing. I can’t tell you how many people I have drawn to my community because they say, “I want what you’ve got.”

It’s not about the service I offer. It’s that I truly, unabashedly LOVE me.

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When you love yourself you put yourself out there. You take speaking engagements. You never pass up opportunities to showcase your goods at fetes, fairs and expo’s. You gladly tell everyone about what you do.

It’s about having confidence in yourself first - and what you do, create and sell second.

The thought of turning something down because you are worried you aren’t good enough, don’t look ’right,’ or aren’t as successful as others doesn’t weigh you down. You’re out there believing in you and what you do.

I know that speaking in public can be really challenging.

OK.

I know for some it can be terrifying, but I also know this….

It’s absolutely worth a thousand times over getting over that terror - dealing with that terror - facing that terror - because learning how to speak to others in public can shoot your business into the stratosphere. Rocket like!

Being able to share your passion for what you create, sell, write, blog or provide is one of the most giving things you can do for yourself and your business, but also for others as well. You have a gift. You have gifts! And people want to know about them and learn from you.

I genuinely believe that being a great speaker is ALL about being your genuine self. What you speak about, promote or engage others with is nowhere near as important as who.you.are. That’s what people really want to know. Really want to relate to. Really want to be touched by. Sure. You have knowledge and information to share, but it’s the unique and incomparable you that can make a genuine connecting difference over someone else.

And - don’t ever forget this. K?

When someone asks you to speak, or present, or workshop, somewhere about how you built up your amazing blog, or started your inspirational business, or indeed about anything at all - they believe in you.

Embracing public speaking

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Yes.

You.

Do you think for even one moment they would ask you to speak if they didn’t think you had the goods? Couldn’t give you what they wanted and needed? Bring value to others?

They utterly believe all of those things simply based on the fact they ASKED you.

They believe.

So you need to believe too.

Love and believe in yourself as others do and watch a world of opportunities open up to you.

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beauty box I will be forever grateful to my Grade Six teacher for encouraging me to enter a small local public speaking competition when I was 12 years old. I didn’t win but I found it

fun and not that different to drama or being in a school play. It made me want to do more and I did. And I still do now. With it actually being a significant part of my business,

promotion and earnings. As I said. I’m forever grateful.

There are so many wonderful posts, tips and tricks on how to be a better public speaker but this is the one Mr Campbell told me that has always stayed with me and I share with

people I coach to be better speakers still to this day.

Always remember that your audience WANTS you to do well. They don’t want you to feel sick with nerves or worried beyond measure. They want you to be comfortable. To know they are

there to not only listen to you but support you to do well - and even fly. They don’t want to tear you down or see you fail. They’re in your corner. Always. They’re not the enemy. Never.

Tuck that into your pocket the next time you take the stage.

public speaking inspirationDanielle LaPorte - Gracious:: Funny:: Direct (This is my favourite piece of writing on

public speaking ever. And the advice about your bra and breasts? So true.)

The Eloquent Woman - Rich:: Helpful:: Relatable (An entire blog dedicated to helping you become a better public speaker? Be still your beating heart.)

The Goddess of Public Speaking - Generous:: Straight Forward:: Needed (Another blog dedicated to helping you become a better public speaker? Be still your now racing

heart.)

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“What we’re all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

Public speaking is part of our ancient oral tradition and is really just storytelling in its most pure form; without written embellishments or visual cues.

Storytelling is a fundamental form of communication that is simple, widely understood, and effective. It has been associated with change for many years and is powerful when utilised in a focused and deliberate manner to address specific needs. One of the main reasons for this is that narration acts on our emotions in very particular ways. Emotions play such a vital role because they reinforce our capabilities to feel empathy and to learn from other persons’ experiences.

Embracing public speakingDannielle Miller

“When a speaker dares to speak from their heart,

it is captivating.”

Capture the heart, and the mind follows.

When I first developed Enlighten’s programs for teen girls, I knew that before we could begin work on topics like positive body image, healthy relationships, and financial literacy, we would need to begin by telling our own story. This forms an instant connection between our presenters and the girls; if we dare to reveal something of our real selves, so too will they.

One of the most challenging activities for our presenters is the development of their own story. They will question which episodes in their lives are worthy of retelling, how much to reveal, how to shape their narrative to create meaning. I always emphasise that the key is not so much in the content, but in the telling.

We must be honest and passionate. Real and raw.

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This may all sound rather new age yet it also makes intrinsic sense doesn’t it? How often have we sat through a lecture loaded with facts and figures, only to find ourselves yawning and drifting off? In comparison, when a speaker dares to speak from their heart, it is captivating.

I feel sad for those who are daunted by the thought of speaking in public for there is nothing quite like the rush experienced when you know that you have made a spirit-to-spirit connection with your audience, yet as the mother of a very shy teen, I also understand that the fear is real.

When a girl says she’s going to “die” because she has to give a 5 minute talk in class, it may sound like a total overreaction - but I appreciate that may be how she truly feels. As adults, self-consciousness and shyness manifests in blushing, clamming up around new people to the point of seeming rude, underachieving and even in self-sabotaging ourselves so that we can avoid having the spotlight placed on us. Yet there are ways in which we can all become our true strong, confident selves who feel able to tell our truths . . . and stand up to our full height!

Eat an elephant. Michaela, one of Enlighten’s Facebook friends, stands in front of groups of strangers and talks every day for her job, but she was “cripplingly shy” when she was a girl. Her advice is to start small:

“You can eat an elephant if you take small enough bites, right? So think about one thing you’d like to work on that challenges you in social settings, and give yourself one small goal. For example, maybe think about saying hello to just one person you’ve not

met before. If you manage it, that’s great! Just one hello. Then build from there. . . . The more you do it, the easier it gets.”

Practise and prepare.

If you become overly anxious about public occasions, being fully prepared can be a real confidence booster.Zerlinda, another Enlighten Facebook fan, says she got over her dread of public speaking by “doing lots of practice, being thorough, being informed, knowledgeable, prepared”. Michaela had a similar strategy for social events: she would visualise how she’d like the social event to go and the kind of things she’d like to say and do.

Choose a role model. Zerlinda looked towards people she admired for ways to become less shy:

“I don’t compare myself to anyone, however, I have role models who I have learnt from or who have inspired me. I have adapted those qualities that impressed me, to suit my own style and requirements.”

Find your inner Amazon. I recommend that girls spend some quiet time visualising their own inner Amazon, who is strong and powerful, and who they can summon up whenever their confidence gets wobbly. At the end of my book, The Butterfly Effect, I give a full visualisation exercise that girls in our workshops find really empowering. (It’s great for women, too.)

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Celebrate difference. Our aim should be to develop the confidence to be ourselves - not to force everyone to be outgoing. However, we shouldn’t let our naturally reserved natures limit our potential. Some people are naturally quieter than others. Zerlinda says:

“I learnt to accept myself as being an introvert and learnt to cope by ensuring I have my quiet/alone times to refresh, de-stress and find peace. I made a conscious decision to accept myself as an individual; to accept my flaws; highlight my abilities. I made a conscious decision to like who I was/am . . . to love me for being me!”

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When you love yourself you openly, willingly and lovingly look to create relationships both online and in person. You don’t hide yourself away and in fact you absolutely know that you can’t afford to do that if you want to run a successful business and blog.

I can’t stress that enough to you.

If you want to build a beautiful community on your blog (and then potentially with that traffic attract lovely paying advertisers) or simply work with more clients or sell more of your products then you must build relationships.

And I’ll let you in on a few things that are really wonderful….

• Building relationships can happen both in person and virtually. And do not for a moment think that the virtual relationships are any less powerful than the ones where you get to give someone a smile face to face. They absolutely aren’t.

• Building relationships can positively

change your life in so many beautiful ways; biz, blog and way, way beyond. I’m talking deep friendships and connections here. Deep and yes, very, very meaningful.

• Building relationships can see others open up to you in a way that gives you exactly what you need and provides you with the opportunity to give too. You can provide high value advertising space for virtual assistance. Someone can give you bookkeeping support for career coaching. You can create an exchange - a shared energy for the good of you both.

• Building relationships can help you to see that there truly is no such thing as competition or need to be scarce in your thinking or actions. Someone else may do what you nearly do. But it’s a nearly OK. Because no-one can be you. Only you can be you and therefore there are opportunities for hugs all round.

Soulful networking and relationships

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• Building relationships is a direct heartway and highway to more readers, clients and customers. Yes indeed.

So when it all boils down to it, building relationships with others if you want to manage a successful blog or build a great biz, is out of the park important. And it involves, once again, being you. Just you. That’s how you actively find those who best relate to you. Where you will be able to dive into a group of like-minded souls who add meaning and value to who you are and what you do - and of course - you to them.

And how do you find them and build these relationships?

You comment on blogs and facebook pages you love and are connected to what you do and write about.

You have actual conversations and real engagements with people on twitter.

You go to blogger meet ups and networking events and conferences for the joy of learning but also the joy of connection. It’s not about a hard pressed in person sell. It’s about connecting.

And you genuinely and meaningfully reach out to tell people that you love their work, love their message and love what they do. And even ask if there may be a way for you to work together.

And the fact that a new friend or business confidante could be at the end of that ask is all the more reason to do so.

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beauty boxI would not necessarily have believed it myself a number of years ago, but the

relationships I have been blessed to build online have quite literally changed my life. For the absolute better.

Little did I know that following and engaging with women I found inspirational and guiding on twitter would mean years later we would be friends. That someone I was

on a panel with (on opposing sides of a heated debate about women in the media!) would end up being a portal for me to gain incredible media coverage for my own

work. Clients who I have long ago finished coaching can now look forward to receiving invitations to my birthday party. Blogs and facebook pages I have commented on have

seen business come my way.

Such is the beauty of connection and building relationships. And it’s truly not just me. I know that for sure. It’s there for all of us. Everyone has a tribe waiting for them. If they are

prepared to gently or boldly step out and find them. Go get ‘em tiger!

relationship loveliesKind Over Matter - Connected:: Open:: Sharing (The site I send so many clients

to when I want them to see how the sharing and building of online relationships via advertising, cross-posting and affiliate marketing looks its best)

Roots of She - Worldly:: Soulful:: Influential (Jenn Gibson has built an entire inter-connected and inspirational tribe of women who not only follow her work but want to be

part of what she does)

Women in Business - Giving:: Professional:: Powerful (Clare Lancaster has seemingly built her entire web presence on graciously sharing the work of others and giving of her

knowledge. Genius.)

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There is enough business out there for all of us to have a full schedule, and a secure and lovely-feeling bank account. This is something that you can know intellectually, but still can find yourself perusing the internet one day, happening upon a project that oh my GOD is EXACTLY like what you wanted to do and now they’ve done it FIRST. And then commence tearing out your hair. This is something that you can know intellectually, but still permit your fear to keep you from building relationships with your “competition” because secretly you worry there isn’t enough to go around.

Soulful networking and relationshipsMara Glatzel

“If you can adopt a perspective of believing

that there is enough business out there for all of us to be busy

all day, every day, you can permit yourself to create relationships

with your “competition.”

When you are afraid of reaching out to a colleague with a question about your new program, because you’re suspicious that they will steal your stuff...

When you hold on to your clients with a Vulcan death grip, even when you know in your heart, that they are not your ideal client, just because you want their money...

When you insulate yourself in a fortress of links redirecting back to you and you only, because you want your website to be a fortress of traffic-directing-domination...

When you allow your ego to cuff you to your negative emotions, because you want to be the first, the best, the top expert in your field...

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You are sending yourself the message that you are not good enough - just as you are.

I’d like to politely disagree.

Politely, because, I am not ashamed to admit to you, I can be a very insecure person. I am competitive at heart. Around cash and scarcity, I get really nervous, and that anxiety is really not a good look on me. I have had those moments where I want to throw my computer through the window out of sheer, bratty, that-was-MY-idea kinds of temper-tantruming.

I have felt that way, because deep down, I have been afraid to be poor, again. I have been afraid to be left out when all of the people I want to be friends with are getting together to do something, again. I have just known that if I wasn’t around to remind people, I would be forgotten completely.

That feeling is really scary, and that fear can make us act in ways that are unbecoming. That is the fear that is strangling your business.

Somewhere along the way, I had to get cozy with the idea that if I was meant to bring that idea to completion or write that eBook or coach that client - I would have done it already.

I had to comb the cobwebs of jealousy right out of my heart. Every single second of energy sulking about wishing I was better or more popular, is a second of energy not being put into being as wonderful as I am, all on my own, right this second.

It also keeps you from making friends with people in your field. Friends who will help you, inspire you, and encourage you.

Friends that have your back, share your links, and promote your launches - just because they love you and what you’re about. And because they know you will share their launches, out of a similar sense of love and camaraderie.

Yes, there are other people in the world who do very similar things to you, but, as every person is unique, no one will be able to do it just the way you do it. If you can adopt a perspective of believing that there is enough business out there for all of us to be busy all day, every day, you can permit yourself to create relationships with your “competition.” You can reach out to them, make friends, and believe that instead of it negatively impacting your business - it can make you smarter, kinder, and better at what you do.

You can decide to become the type of person who returns emails, retweets the work of others, or believes that each person is worth their time, kindness, and generosity.

Yep - it takes a little more time, but it feels oh so good.

Most importantly, when you are generous with others, relax your competitive nature, and take a chance on someone - you are opening up the door for someone to take a chance on you.

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When you love yourself you embrace self-promotion.

Yes. Embrace it.

You don’t shy away from marketing yourself and openly sharing with your potential customers and readers what you do and how you can provide for them. Why? Because you believe in yourself and what you offer so much that you share it with people in a way that is respectful, meaningful and offers value to their life.

If it’s not for them - gosh that’s OK. It totally is.

If it is for them well they just may never have come to you if you hadn’t tweeted, or told them about your new product or shared a link telling the world - you’ve got something they may be interested in.

You have GOT to get over (and quickly) any grand notion that all the readers, customers and clients you want and know you deserve, are magically just going to find you without self-promotion. Yes, most people know how to Google something, but if you are in a

building phase and not at the top of search engines or have the name Oprah, then seriously, how do you expect them to find you?

I’ll tell you how they find you.

You lead them to you. You tell them how to find you. You tell them what you do. You share your products. You promote your services.

Everywhere.

Via social media. On your blog. At business networking meetings. Wherever you get a chance to speak in public. Even at a dinner party when someone asks you what you do. Don’t look deep into the depths of the chocolate self-saucing pudding with raspberry coulis in front of you (no matter how good it is) and play down or minimize, or even sweep it all right away by saying “Oh, not much” or some such horror.

Own your beautiful blog. Be proud of your business. Share with others the passion and excitement you have for what you do.

Sassy self promotion

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When you do it in a way that is real and genuine and meaningful, there should be no feelings surface of being a yucky ‘self-promoter’ or ‘big-noter.’ No concerns that you’re annoying people. No worries that they don’t want to hear from you.

You write something, or make something, or provide something, that you know in your heart can bring purpose, or help, or ease to others. It could be a tea-cup, a financial service or a line of little girls clothing. It could be anything that’s yours.

And that’s not to be hidden. That’s to be found.

Open the door to your business and blogging home talented one and make it easy for people to find you.

Think of self-promotion as leaving your porch light always on. You’re inviting people in to see who you are and what you can give and do for them.

Make sure you’ve got the kettle on.

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beauty boxWhen thinking about promoting myself, my business and my services I always have three things at the forefront of my mind. All three wipe away any lurking feelings that I may be about to offend someone, push things to far or simply annoy. You can steal them all you

want. They’re yours….

• No matter what I do or do not do I cannot control what anyone thinks of me or my work. They may like it. They may hate it. But regardless of what I put forth I cannot control

their reaction. Ergo - I’ll do as I please.

• Be gracious. This has never failed to work for me. Communicate, promote, sell and suggest with grace, dignity and a little bit of flair. It openly attracts the right people for me.

• Give. When I ask for my audience to engage, read, buy or do anything with me that requires their time, attention and especially their money, I show up and give them all I have. All. It’s the resounding reason behind why when I self-promote my work I feel

confident and proud, never icky or concerned.

self promotion sassiesGoddess Leonie - Earthy:: Smart:: Engaging (Leonie Dawson is a Twitter and self-

promotional pro who just gets it so right. 20,000+ newsletter subscribers the world over can’t be wrong)

Marie Forleo - Sassy:: Independent:: Valuable (A tour-de-force of self-promotion brilliancy and encouragement for you to do the same. There aren’t enough words to

describe how much you can learn from her. Go!)

Gala Darling - Playful:: Powerful:: Driven (Gala has single-handedly built a gorgeous empire entirely from her real, flirtatious and intelligent self-promotion. Her message is a

beautiful one too.)

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Sassy self promotionMelissa Wardy

“Self-promotion is essential to success. It is not arrogant or distasteful or pushy.”

Take key elements from your story, and turn those into your personal brand. My brand is all about integrity, creativity, and going against the grain. When I tell customers my story of how my business came to be, they see my personal brand reflected in my words, and it makes them believe in what I do and the product I sell.

Talking about ourselves is not something that comes easy to women. We talk about other people, our kids, other people’s kids, and business related things….but few women feel comfortable talking about themselves and their individual success in business. We are taught since girlhood to be a team player (but not lead the team), to be nice and sweet, and to do whatever it takes to not be labelled a ‘bitch’. Studies have shown that men are applauded for being motivated go-getters at work, while women with the same demeanour are considered conniving and out for themselves.

Cheers to double standards.

Starting a business is relatively easy. You create a product or service, get yourself a website or maybe an office or retail space, order some business cards and supplies, and off you go.

Making the business successful is another story.

You can be really good at what you do or what your make, but if people don’t know how good you are at it, your efforts don’t really matter. A successful business owner is not the person with the angel investor or the well-furnished office. A good business owner is the person who knows how to turn a sale.

A successful business owner is the person who knows how to sell her story. What they say is true, you have to believe in yourself before anyone else will. Everyone has a story, and has important things to share.

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Women business owners have to work around this, and be direct and self-promoting as part of their personal brand. I learned this lesson while answering the telephone when I was ten years old. Growing up, my dad had his own business and worked from a home office. I was the eldest child in our family, so it fell to me to answer the phone and take messages.

Our family’s financial advisor was a woman who would call in the evenings after the markets had closed for the day to talk to my dad about stocks and accounts and stuff I didn’t really understand in the fourth grade. I loved talking to her, because she always made me feel so grown up.

She’d ask me questions about how my school day was, and say something like, “How was school? Tell me about a successful project you did this week.” We had this kind of conversation for years, and stories of book reports morphed into stories of college application essays. This woman, now a senior VP at a major investment house, taught me how to talk about my achievements by asking questions that required more than a one word answer. More importantly, she taught a young girl how to confidently speak about her own accomplishments and to be proud of them.

Fast forward twenty years later, and I’m now a mom to two small children and have launched my own business, Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies. Many women are becoming mompreneurs and launching cottage industry-type ventures, but instead of the hair bow and tutu businesses that dominate the mommy market, I decided to make empowering feminist tees for little girls in the era of Princess Culture and preschool

pedicures and inspiring apparel for boys too. Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies will be three years old in May of this year, we have a huge following, and things are going great.

In the three years I’ve been in business, I have introduced, pitched, and promoted my company and my work several thousand times. I’ve been really successful, and the goodness keeps coming with a stream of steady orders, offers for writing gigs, television appearances, a book deal…..you name it. I think all of this has resulted from one thing - I do a really good job of telling people why my company is excellent, and why it should matter to them.

When I promote Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies, or myself, people see immediately that I really believe in what I do.Through blog posts, media interviews, or speeches, I focus on the good that my company brings to children and their families, and the positive aspects of how my product is different from the rest of the market. I talk about why I am qualified to speak on these issues, and share experiences that have led me to this path I’m on.

I love what I do because I love how it makes me feel. I love myself and my life and that comes through in what I do. It would be pretty easy to see through me and my company about children’s empowerment if I wasn’t an empowered, confident woman.

I’m good at what I do because through social media, parents who follow the

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company and become my customers see me “walking the walk” every day. I’m not afraid to fail in front of them, or share funny stories of my kids that make me just like any other parent. But day in and day out they see me talk about Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies why what I’m doing makes a huge impact on children and their families.

Self-promotion is essential to success. It is not arrogant or distasteful or pushy. It is you publicly believing in yourself, and telling others why they should, too. Go ahead and share your story, and make people fall in love with your company. When you are true to yourself and your personal brand, you attract positive energy that multiplies with every interaction you have with people.

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I mentioned earlier about the great importance of your website and if you are trying to attract readers or customers to that website (of course you are!) there are many, many wonderful ways you can do that instead of just patiently waiting for them to find you via Google.

Hello social media. Hello.

If you thought Twitter was for Twits and Facebook only for teens - then, please - do think again. You may have just found your new best marketing friend.

I view social media as the most incredible free platform and marketing tool that has bought amazing clients to my business. And it absolutely can for you too. If you are running a business or a blog and have yet to get your social media accounts up and running or take the time to really devote to them and how they can work for your business - then now’s the time. There are a plethora of amazing websites and resources you can connect in to support you with this and I urge you to take avail of all them.

And if you’re not sure what social media accounts you should concentrate on or need at a bare minimum? Go with a Facebook page and Twitter account.

And how do you use them with self-love coursing through your veins and into your typing finger tips?

• Be yourself

• Give more than you ever expect to receive

• Share your work openly and that of other people you like and admire

• Learn to use social media as a tool for positive self-promotion

• Be yourself

• Be generous

• Connect lovingly with your followers by being responsive, positive and engaging

• Be yourself

Being a social media socialite

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beauty boxUnlike some entrepreneurs who discuss and are promoting very edgy businesses,

ideas and products, the things I share on my social media sites are not usually overly-controversial. I share my thoughts, ideas, blog posts and the work of other amazing

people on things such as building a beautiful business, positive body image, self-love and tips for sound mental health. I have only ever had one nasty comment about me personally on my facebook page. Differences of opinion, outright disagreements and

even ‘let’s retreat to our corners’ - they’ve all been there and are welcome. But personal attacks? No. Deleted.

Always remember you are the owner and driver of your social media and online world. While you should always respond to unhappy customers or concerning questions, if you feel someone is being outright damaging to you or your brand, don’t even hesitate your finger over that delete button and the block option if you need that too. It’s your page.

Your account. You get to decide who you play with and who you don’t.

social media socialitesChantelle Ellem/Fat Mum Slim - Warm:: Influential:: Humble (Is, quite possibly, Australia’s most prolifically influential social media guide and inspirer without even

knowing it. Adored by many. Including me.)

Amy Atlas/Amy Atlas Events - Driven:: Inspirational:: Responsive (A pioneer in the field of party planning and dessert tables, Amy and her team get her social media just

right. It’s image rich, engaging, giving and always responsive.)

Amy Porterfield - Professional:: Knowledgeable:: Resonating (If you need your social media hand held, reach out so Amy can grasp it. She’ll gently but powerfully show you

the way.)

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Being a social media socialiteTia Sparkles (Your Life Your Way)

“The more I have fun and show up as who I am, follow my passion,

serve my community, ask for and offer help, and am genuinely curious about others, the more

my profile and business grows as a result.”

Right from the beginning of building my business, Your Life Your Way, I’ve focused on being me and connecting with people. I’m a Connector and this comes naturally to me. The more I have fun and show up as who I am, follow my passion, serve my community, ask for and offer help, and am genuinely curious about others, the more my profile and business grows as a result. Have you heard that old saying - people want to know you, like, you, trust you, before they buy from you? That’s pretty much it. Do your best, allow the rest.

We all make mistakes and this is OK! Some of the common mistakes I see entrepreneurs make in the social media space for the most part seem to occur because of a lack of not knowing what to do. I believe this is more so than lack of confidence or self-belief,

Social media is just that - social. Everything in life exists in relationship to each other - we are nothing without context! So if relationships are how we define ourselves, then it becomes easy to see why social media is so important. It’s a channel for people to connect, relate, communicate.

To build amazing relationships via social media, first off, you’ve got to have a quality product or service or something that adds value to your customers and clients. Next, you’ve got to reach those buyers.

Social media kicks ass here because of its extensive reach. It accentuates what’s happening and lets businesses and brands show a personal side, really connect with their fans and buyers, get feedback, research new offerings, learn what’s working, etc.

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although sometimes they do seem to worry about wasting time, money, energy and not seeing results.

Some of the key things to avoid in the social media space while trying to positively interact with clients and customers include

- Automated DMs (Direct Messages) on Twitter

- Selling, selling, selling with no engagement

- Being inconsistent with posting

- Broadcasting instead of communicating

- Thinking it’s not worth your time or effort

- Outsourcing your social media without understanding it yourself

I encourage you to use social media as another communication tool, but don’t rely on it fully. To make good, you’ve got to BE and do good. Social media will only help as much as what you’re offering has great value.

The best way any entrepreneur can build their social media confidence and positive engagement is through three things - generosity, intention and planning.

Be generous with your time and gifts.

Know what you want to get out of your social media efforts. Is it traffic? Clients? Recognition? All of the above?

Have a plan of action for daily engagement and at times when you are away.

I’ve learned that business only grows to the extent one believes in themselves.And where does positive belief come from? Self-esteem and self-love! So the more I grow in that confidence, the less I do what I think I should do or compare to what others are doing, and the more I focus on the gifts I am bringing to the world and how I can best serve people!

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In business, just as in life, we cannot expect everything to go our way. For anyone to tell you otherwise is a lie. It’s not about being pessimistic, (especially as I am a poster woman for optimism and thinking only the best of the best), it’s about accepting the natural rhythm, flow, bounce and turn of life.

If you’ve made it this far in your life - both personally and professionally - then you likely don’t need me to tell you ‘smooth sailing’ can be all too brief. And in a way - I think that’s more than OK. It’s with changing winds, waves, bumps, shifts and turns where we so often learn the most about ourselves. And what we are capable of. (Which in my experience of coaching and counselling people is usually so much more than they usually believe.)

Setbacks and bumps and even total slaps into the ground are sent to teach us. But only if we are willing to learn. This is particularly the case in the biz and blogging world where unpredictably can reign supreme. You can pour your heart into a post and get no comments. You can spend hundreds of

hours launching a new product or service and it make barely any sales. You can proudly pitch for what you think is a perfect match - and not get it.

The learning then comes in what you do immediately after things don’t go your way. Do you complain, bitch, whinge and whine? Or do you learn, love, have a wee cry and pick yourself up boldly proclaiming - ‘Well, damn it! I’ll do better next time.’

If you’re not sure - please do go with the second option.

Build your resiliency muscles and clout. Know that there will be times when you will soar magnificently in your biz and blogging , but times when you may wonder what you are even doing. It’s OK. It’s normal.

And as a self-loving entrepreneur and blogger you’re gonna keep on keepin’ on. Because when you’re following your heart and dream you know there’s no other option.

See those times when you’ve had a setback as a gift. And they will always keep giving beautifully to you.

The gift of setbacks

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beauty boxI trained to be a life and business coach over ten years ago but have only been

coaching for 3 years, apart from six amazing months of working with people just post my studies. There’s a great big gap in the middle of my career (and for a good portion of

my life in my thirties) where I had to make the heartbreaking decision to stop coaching - and counselling too. I was diagnosed with cancer which I’m proud to say I beat, but the depression of having to stop work and doing what I believed I was best at in the world, I

found even harder to manage.

There were days when I felt I would never feel strong and confident enough to fully work again, but when you are called to do something, like I know you are with your biz + blog, you have no choice but to find a way. Despite at times being very frustrated that I ‘lost’ so many years, I have now come to realise that entire period of illness, but also healing,

has been the greatest gift I could ever have received.

It has made me a more humble, giving and heart-centred coach and counsellor and I know now was what was meant to be. It was a priceless and forever giving ‘setback.’)

survivors of setbacksLouise Hay - Luminous:: Age-Defying:: Brilliant (Best-selling author and publishing maven who turned an abusive childhood and marriage into a healing and affirming life journey.

Along the way she has inspired millions to believe and overcome.)

Danielle LaPorte - Powerful:: Purposeful:: Inspirational (Has come back from a large and expensive business ‘failure’ to be serving others worldwide with her special version of

jaw droppingly good, entrepreneurial advice. Run, don’t walk to her.)

Amanda Rootsey - Beautiful:: Strong:: Surviving (A former model who after surviving cancer has turned her experience into a new way of life and a new way of business.

Inspirational.)

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The gift of set backsAnna Linklater

“If you are facing a big setback in your

business - don’t take it personally. Or do take it personally. Whatever

motivates you to do better.”

ending but wonderful journey, even when some experiences are easier to overcome than others. If someone thinks a collection is a bit “bleh” - I take that really personally as I have lived and breathed it from the inspiration, to the designing, to the shoot. It’s a big deal.

I have learnt though that my ideas and taste are never going to be suited to everyone and that’s not a bad thing. I can’t afford to get discouraged or weighed down with negative feedback. I like to focus on who IS responding to my collections, and how I can make them even better going forward.

If I’m ever really down about something, my husband Brett is awesome. He’s really rational and strategic and can turn my often overly sensitive thinking around.

I don’t think ‘smooth sailing’ is in my vocabulary!

Melbourne is a wonderful city, packed full of designers that have beautiful fashion labels, which means boutiques have an abundance to choose from and tight budgets. This has meant rejection for me time after time, season after season. That sounds awfully negative, but it’s true.

Of course, on the other hand I always need to remember I am stocked in over twenty stores nationally and realise that every stockist I do have is a wonderful achievement. I have always worked on the 90%/10% theory. I might approach hundreds of stores, but only a small number will be suited to my brand and an even smaller number will invest in it.

Being an entrepreneur is one big massive learning curve. I learn something new after each season, to apply to the next. It’s a never

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Generally speaking, after each little “hiccup” I’ve had I take a deep breath and use it as motivation to do things better next time.There is nothing I can ever “un-do” so I have to get on with things and stay positive.

Being an entrepreneur and fashion designer has definitely taught me to look beyond myself, and beyond my ideas, and that I don’t always have to be ‘right’. Setbacks have been given to me for a reason. It could be a sale falling through, a store giving negative feedback on a collection, items being returned because they are faulty. They teach me to have patience and that every area of the business is not going to be perfect overnight as there are so many factors involved that I can’t control immediately.

Feedback is key for me to grow, but sometimes it’s really hard to hear. Other times I think “yes, totally agree.” It’s all about tweaking things here and there to be the best I can be.

I think setbacks and rejection can actually help business owners have a more realistic view on the growth and success of their business.

We can all dream big, which is fantastic, but it can be a tough game being in business on your own.

I think the best thing that has ever happened from some honest feedback, which was that Violet & I was too expensive for some stores. This motivated me to start a second label, Matija, which is our younger, lower price pointed brand. It allows us to keep Violet & I as our more exclusive brand, still using luxury fabrics and high quality.

If you are facing a big setback in your business - don’t take it personally. Or do take it personally. Whatever motivates you to do better. It doesn’t matter what business you are in, everyone is going to fail at something, big or small, and that is normal! We can have the best ideas and intentions in the world, but making them happen is a task and a journey in itself.

I started Violet & I in 2009. We are now into our 3rd year and when I look back I can see that I have grown so much as a person from having to learn to be an entrepreneur. I have more confidence in what I believe in and what my brand is about. I think your personal journey can really shape your business journey and even my inspirations for each collection seem to mirror my personal experiences.

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Let’s getting something straight. Dead eye straight.

You are an incredible, amazing and completely unique human bean.

There’s no one else on the planet like you. No one smiles the exact same way you do. Laughs like you. Has your tone of voice or particular way of thinking.

You’re you. And that’s a phenomenal thing.

Your uniqueness and specialness are the BEST thing you have going for you in your business. I’m going to say that again so it sinks deeply into your psyche……Your uniqueness and specialness are the BEST thing you have going for you in your business.

Yes, yes - I know. Your products and services are important. They are in fact, very important. But they are nothing - nothing - without you. You have handmade them, handcrafted them, handpicked them and hand created them from your own incredible mix of brain, brawn, beauty and raw talent. No else can do it like you do it. No one.

You may have had an experience of wanting to tear your hair out when you see someone else that you think has ‘stolen’ your idea, your service concept, your next offering. But really? Can that ever be actually the case?

No.

It can’t. There are millions of people in same and similar fields all out there doing their thing - millions of bloggers, coaches, children’s store owners, graphic designers, jewellery makers and so much more. They may offer similar things to you. May do. But can they offer exactly what you do? Can they speak with your unique blogging voice or create something with your exact hands or thought process?

Nope.

Not a chance.

Not a chance in the world.

And that makes you rare, amazing and totally attractive to potentially millions of people the world over who want a slice of the real you and what you have to offer.

Comparing yourself less, loving yourself more

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So what’s the real gig here? What am I trying to say?

You’re utterly incomparable. Even if you feel someone else is doing or offering or promoting or selling the near or exact same thing to you - they can’t be. Because they’re not you.

Here it is again.

You’re utterly incomparable.

So drop the comparisons. Stop worrying what ‘she’s’ doing. Leave others be.

And step into everything you are and have to offer in your own unique way.

You’ve totally got this.

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beauty box I have learned the ‘hard’ way how futile it is to obsess ridiculously over other people’s businesses. I closely followed a coach online who I thought had a gorgeous business (and she does) who constantly spoke about having a ‘full client load’. It turned me in

knots comparing myself to her wanting to know how on earth she was doing it.

This silly vein of thought continued for months until we met at a networking function and I learned that what was a full client load for her was a THIRD of what it was for me. A

THIRD. She was as divine as I knew she would be and said she was only working on her own business less than part time and she was happy with that.

What a total goose. I had been comparing my own business and offerings on a totally unfair playing field, one that wasn’t level at all, and suffering for it at my own expense.

Lesson learned.

women beyond compareJenny Lawson/The Bloggess - Bold:: Confident:: Raw (Wildly popular parenting writer who I’m sure would eat wet socks before reducing herself via comparison to anyone else.)

Frances Lockie/Corpulent - Sassy:: Unforgiving:: Individual (Size and fat acceptance blogger who boldly wears bright colours, bikini’s and her own brand of humour. Rightly

compares to no-one.)

Kat McLeod - Talented:: Youthful:: Feminine (There are so many amazing and brilliant artistic souls in this world that one could be forgiven for thinking it’s futile for another to try

and make her mark. Not so Kat whose quirky and beautiful drawings always make me feel in the moment.)

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Comparing yourself less, loving yourself moreStephanie Pollock

“When you build a bold, authentic brand from your strengths and natural gifts - you eliminate your

competition.”

fixated on watching my competition. What were THEY offering? What did THEY have to say about something? What did THEIR website look like?

I wasn’t doing it out of malice - it was purely based in fear. Fear that I would never be good enough to compete with them. Fear that if I didn’t keep tabs on their every move I might miss something critical that would either adversely affect my business or cost me a great opportunity to do something similar with my business.

This lead to me creating a bit of a me-too brand that was more a reflection of my competition than of me. And big surprise here - I wasn’t very successful in that iteration of my business. No wonder of course - the brand I built wasn’t mine.

But I digress.

Is there enough business to go around?

“What if she gets the business over me?”

“My business is already struggling - I can’t compete with another company.”

“Maybe I don’t have what it takes - she seems to be doing so much better than me.”

Have you ever heard yourself saying (or thinking) one of these statements?

When I first started out in business, I used to spend a ridiculous amount of time watching other entrepreneurs. I’d check out their offers, read their sales copy, follow them on Twitter and analyse their every move.

At the time, I was an equal opportunist - I observed everyone that I found remotely interesting or who I deemed to be successful online. But, over time, I started to get almost

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What was particularly troubling at the time was the belief I held that there was not enough business out there for all of us. There were a few other women playing in the same market as me in the same city and rather than see them as possible collaborators or allies, I worried that they’d take work away from me. That it was either me or them. That there wasn’t enough room for all of us.

This was nothing more than fear. Ugly, paralysing fear.

I’m admitting this to you because I know many of you have been caught up in this too. It’s human nature to feel threatened when someone we perceive to be in competition with us starts stepping up their game, or becoming more successful (we’re OK with our competition as long as we’re doing better of course).

But let me lay it down for you. Bold, simply and in the spirit of true honesty.

There is MORE than enough business for everyone. For you, your competition and their competition.

Spending ANY energy focused on worrying about your competition is just an exercise in scarcity thinking and it’ll seriously limit your ability to be successful in business.

Think about it objectively for a minute. Unless you live in an extremely small town, chances are good that you’ve got at least 100,000 people in your immediate geographic region. Can your competition possibly serve them all? Could you? Of course not.

And if you, like me, run your business online, you’ve got millions and millions of people to market to - and so does your competition. There is more than enough to go around. I promise.

But most importantly, remember that if you brand yourself well, you don’t really HAVE any competition.

What? No competition? But what about that woman doing what I’m doing?

Well, is she really? Sure, she may serve the same audience as you - but does she serve people exactly the way you do? Is her style exactly the same as yours? Does she approach her work exactly like you? Is her website a direct knock-off of yours?

Chances are good the answer is a resounding no.

So, then in reality, you don’t have direct competition. You have your own unique, distinct brand that is completely different from the woman down the street or across the internet.

When you build a bold, authentic brand from your strengths and natural gifts - you eliminate your competition.

Because the one thing your competition does not have is YOU.

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Your right people will come to you because they resonate with YOUR message, YOUR style, YOUR approach, YOUR beliefs and YOUR offerings. And your not-so-right people will go to the woman down the street because they resonate with HER message. This is a good thing.

It means that you both get to serve the people that bring out the very best in your skills, talents and unique genius. And it means that you both get to prosper.

What it also means is that you’ve now got people you can refer to, collaborate with and build peer relationships with.

Spending energy worrying about your competition means you’re playing small and limiting your own growth potential.

As the leader of your company, your job is to create a culture of abundance and prosperity. One in which everyone gets to thrive.

There is more than enough work to go around. Stop watching their every move. Start focusing on building YOUR brand.

Not only will you enjoy your business WAY more, but you’ll attract better clients (for you) and possibly score yourself some really great friends who truly GET what you do.

As for me? Well, I created an entirely new brand that was way more aligned with my unique strengths, talents and genius for helping women uncover and activate their bold brands. Are there people out there who offer what I do? Of course - there are many. Am I worried? Not anymore - because nobody builds brands and businesses like I do.

Nobody does what you do like you do.

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If you want to be a blogger, run a business or even have any sort of online presence in your life you need to know this…you are opening yourself up to criticism. There’s no way around it. You are.

You cannot truly put yourself ‘out there’ in a way that is bold, self-loving, authentic and attractive to others and not expect that every now and again you will receive a swipe from someone that may sting. Or even outright hurt like all get out.

This is where your self-love has to kick into high gear. You cannot crumble. You cannot fade. You cannot hide. Criticism aimed at your blog or your business is a time for you to breathe deeply, anchor yourself and stand tall in your entrepreneurial dreams, wishes, hopes and goals, knowing that you have the strength to remain true to your course.

No matter what anyone says. Anyone.

Presenting yourself to the universe as a blogger and business person means that you have to not only know but be genuinely at peace with the fact that not everyone will agree, want, or even like what you do. You have to be OK with that

and not chase your tail (no matter how cute it may be) in a paralysing way wondering why she doesn’t like you - why he didn’t buy from you - why they didn’t comment on your post like they said they would. You have to let them go and concentrate your love and attention on those people who do get you, do support you, and do love what you do. That’s where your attention and focus always should be. Always.

Learn to have enough strength and self-love to know the difference between constructive criticism that can make you lovingly take stock of something and do better next time - and plain, outright, negative bitchery and even bullying. It does exist and it sure does exist online. Little trolls and internet gremlins hiding at home behind the safety of their computer screens. They love to come and out play and drag amazing people down who are simply out there living their dream.

They’re not worth your time or energy or space or thoughts or tears.

Delete.

Lovingly press delete and move on. You’re made for bigger and better things beautiful you.

Making criticism work for you

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beauty box Personal attacks when you write a blog or run a business can come from anywhere at

anytime. And I have not been immune.

A few years ago I was a panellist at a prestigious conference attended by over 1000 women. The topic was body image - one of my great passions. It went so well. Lots of

applause. Laughter. Even a few tears. But at question time a woman stood up and said she didn’t think I should be talking about positive body image because I wasn’t a good role model. Due to my size. (I’m not thin. Never have been. And let me tell you - there’s nothing that annoys the hell out of some people more than a curvaceous woman who

is proud of and loves her body and will not allow anyone else to dictate what she should look like.)

I did the strangest thing. Probably because I was utterly shocked and taken aback. I laughed.

And not just a little giggle but a laugh that went on for quite a few seconds and to my amazement others started laughing too. A lot. When I composed myself and looked out at a sea of faces smiling at me, silently offering beautiful encouragement, knowing what she had said was wrong, I spoke straight from the heart with a smile on my face and in a very loving tone, stating...“I hope my response to your comment makes my position on

what you said clear. I don’t really have anything else to say.”

It was a risk but it paid off. Cue thunderous applause.

comeback queensHow about these amazing people who were deeply criticized for their work

before becoming…well…ludicrously successful.

JK Rowling: Intelligent:: Poised:: Imaginative (Told in 1996 that children were no longer interested in witches and wizards by a publishing executive, she wisely chose to ignore the criticism and went on to give us the most incredible series of children’s books of all time.)

Oprah Winfrey: Powerful:: Humble:: Inspirational (Was demoted from her role as a news anchor by an executive who told her she wasn’t ‘fit’ for television. Oh dear.)

Marilyn Monroe: Luminous:: Sexy:: Vulnerable:: (Told in the early stages of her career by a modelling agent she wasn’t attractive enough to be either a model or actress and

that it was best she become a secretary or get married. For all the time we had with her - I’m so glad she didn’t listen.)

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CriticismJessica Ainscough

“As long as you truly believe in what you

stand for, and you are moving your message forward from a place of love, criticism can actually be seen as a

good thing.”

what I was subjecting my story to. When the post went live I expected the usual positive and supportive feedback to appear in the comments. But it didn’t show. Instead, came a constant stream of horrible name-calling, condemnation, and death threats. Yes, death threats.

I was shattered, and for about two days I was obsessed with refreshing that page to see what else was being said about me. But then it hit me: it was naïve of me to expect any reaction other than the one I was given. My story is controversial, and I am sharing it to challenge the way people think about dated ideas of cancer and healing. This reaction is exactly what I deserved - and it was not necessarily a bad thing.

Being dealt such a bitter blow became my motivation to educate myself even more on my topic, and spread my message even wider. My haters became my motivators. I decided right then and there that I could

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

~Aristotle

I started blogging about my cancer journey about two years ago. I was so proud of my blog, and would pour so much love, transparency and vulnerability into each post. I wanted to give whoever was reading a truly authentic snap shot of what life is like when you are healing your body naturally. I was delighted when positive feedback and encouraging comments would come in, and this fuelled me to spend more and more time crafting my online sanctuary. But then, as if the universe knew my ego needed to be balanced out, I received a flood of criticism.

I wrote guest post for a popular, albeit conservative, website and had no idea

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either stop blogging and keep my story to myself, or I could grow an extra layer of thick skin and stay strong in my message. I chose the latter.

The criticism hasn’t stopped. In fact, it has gotten much more frequent. However these days I don’t dwell on it. I understand it. Criticism has a purpose; it’s always going to be there, it’s just up to me how I choose to deal with it.

We don’t have control over the things people say about us, but we do have control over how we decide to internalise it. Now, whenever I hear or read critical comments, the first things I do is fan my defences. Before that initial “how dare they” reaction bubbles up into something I can’t take back, I take a deep breath and tell myself that it is totally okay for whoever it is to have an opinion that is different to mine.

We are all at different places on different journeys, and it would be absolutely arrogant of me to think that my opinion is right and theirs is wrong. Mine may be what is right for me based on everything I’ve learnt and experienced up until now, but there’s nothing to say it won’t change in the future. And if I were in their shoes, coming from a place of differing knowledge and experiences, I would probably have a very different view of the situation. There is no right or wrong, there are only more points of view to consider - and they all deserve respect.

I love the saying, “When you stick your head above the crowd, someone is bound to throw a tomato at it.” As long as you truly believe in what you stand for, and you are moving your message forward from a place of love, criticism can actually be seen as a good thing. If you’re receiving criticism, it generally means that you are doing something that challenges the way the status quo thinks. If no one ever did that, we would still believe that the world is flat and women would still be in the kitchen.

If you are receiving criticism, congratulate yourself for being part of the change you want to see in the world.

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My five tips for dealing with criticism:

1. Drop your defences. Realise that it’s okay for people to have their opinion. Silence your ego and see that criticism is simply just information.

2. Scan the criticism for truth. Even if it’s just a glimmer, that new perspective may be what you need to take your journey, message or work in a more enlightened direction.

3. Practice self-love every day. When you develop a true sense of love and respect for yourself, you will have more power to stand up for your message.

4. Understand that everything has a purpose. People and events come into our lives to teach us something, so look for the lesson in the criticism.

5. Let it go. Take a deep breath in and thank the universe for sending you whatever it was that you needed to learn at this time, and then slowly breathe out and release all attachment to the criticism.

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Yep.

This is the big one.

Money.

Loving you means you would never knowingly undersell or undervalue your products and services. That necklace, or dress, or service you have put your whole heart, not to mention, countless hours into. You know that one? Or that many? You charge what it’s really, really worth.

You know deep down in your heart and even right to the tips of your toes that it is going to bring great joy to someone very fortunate who purchases it. Or great confidence. Or great insight.

So you charge what it’s really, really worth. Why wouldn’t you?

Why. Wouldn’t. You?

To do anything less is underselling the most important and precious and priceless thing in your world….you. And that’s not OK. That’s not OK by a long shot.

Far too often we seem to get caught up in the dangerous assumption that others will not want to pay to advertise on our blog, or buy our products or sign up for our services. This sends an energetic message to the universe that they will in fact not want to do just that very thing. A self-fulfilling prophecy that deeply impacts your ability to buy nice avocados, shoes and massages. And again, that’s not OK. Because you really do deserve nice shoes. I mean that.

But when you deeply and truly believe in what you have created, no matter what it is, you know that it’s worth it. You know someone needs it. You know it exists for a reason and that someone, many one’s, will lovingly and willingly pay for it. And pay what’s it worth too.

If you are reading this beautiful you and knowing deep in your heart that you’re not charging what is a self-loving price for your goods or services - I’m glad. Nothing for me to say sorry about or pull back from here. Because I want you to live an abundant, beautiful life; and money is a part of that. It’s

Charging what you’re really worth

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not all of it. But it is a part of it. And I want you to energetically get what is rightfully yours for the amazing work you do and beautiful things you create. I want that for you for sure.

Now the question becomes - What are you going to do about it? It’s one thing to know. It’s another to take action. Right? Right.

This is where you need to dig deep, wade into the love you have for yourself and take your rightful place as a blogger and entrepreneur who owns her personal and professional value. You take action in ANY way that will set you on the path to getting your pricing right.

You look at your prices carefully and deeply and ask your true heart if they are really right. You work out with total accuracy what it truly costs for you to make or develop something. You work out the sweet spot where you don’t feel paralysed with fear about your price point but also not resentful because you know you’re not charging what you should. You research what is not right for your field or market - but what is right for you. Because this is not about what anyone else is charging. It’s about the prices that are deeply right for you. Just you.

And then you own it girl. Own it. Own that price. Stand true and tall in the belief that you know what you charge is fair and right and beautiful and that it’s helping you live the life you so deeply deserve. Stand true and tall even if you raise your prices by a big ol’ bucket load because then those people who can see and feel the value in what you create and do will come to you and question not a thing about your pricing. Not a thing.

And you lovingly exchange. Lovingly. Because you’ve not just created with love but priced with love.

That’s self-love in action. With dollar signs in front of it.

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beauty box When I first started coaching I charged half of what I do now and felt literally sick about the fact (or should I say thought in my head - not fact!) I believed no one in their right

mind would pay that sort of money to work with me. I was wrong. Then I raised my prices by 25% and again thought the same thing. I was wrong.

Then I decided to be really crazy and up them again; still if you can believe it thinking the same thing. Again I was wrong. Really wrong. And in fact every time I have raised my prices MORE of the ideal client for me has come my way and said ‘Hi Jules! I really want

to work with you!’ ‘Hi back you! Hi!’

My prices have been the same now for over a year and they still feel right to me and so are staying for now. Why? Because the most amazing people keep coming to me in the right way and never quibble about what I charge. And when they show up to me boy do I show up for them. In a big way. And it feels right and beautiful every step we take

together. That’s self-love in action. With dollar signs in front of it.

money makers & shakersJodie Ferguson-Batte - Entrepreneurial:: Clever:: Talented (If you want to partake of this lady and her team’s amazing tea or have one of her art works adorn your wall,

you will need to pay what both are worth. And why not when both are so good?)

Koolaman Designs - Personalised:: Memorable:: Lasting (The bespoke jewellery by these creative ladies is, to me, perfectly priced. With the beautiful materials they use and the incredibly ‘you’ product you get its clear Lisa and Stacey value what they do and

charge accordingly.)

The Organised Housewife - Warm:: Committed:: Giving (Don’t for a moment let the ‘housewife’ tag fool you. If you want to advertise on Katrina’s wildly popular blog you’ll need to pay good money to do so. Why? Because she values her online real estate and

knows that what she offers will drive people to your own page.)

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Money and worth Tara Gentile

“Uncovering and reconnecting with the

value you already possess - and exercising

that value - is the quickest route to

earning more than you’ve ever dreamed.”

Before I started my business, my own self-worth had been beaten down. The corporation I worked for didn’t value my contribution. I had very few meaningful personal relationships. I was disconnected from my creativity and my own genius.

Intellectually, I knew I was worth something. Practically, I didn’t have the foggiest clue why.

When it came to understanding how I could contribute to society - and my own bottom line - through a business, it was rough. When you lack self-worth, it’s near impossible to name the value you can deliver to a customer, client, or employer.

Little by little, project by project, job by job, I started to see my contribution for what it was. Valuable. Extremely valuable.

I like making money. Even more, I like helping others make money.

I’ve been accused of equating net worth with self-worth. But I don’t.

Your self-worth isn’t a number. Your earning potential doesn’t indicate your living potential.

But since transforming my minimum wage mindset into a 6-figure business, I’ve learned one thing: it’s impossible to “earn what you’re worth” until you know your own self-worth. Not in terms of numbers, naturally, but in terms of the value you bring to your inner and outer world.

Yes, I believe that we’re born with inherent worth as human beings. But there is also something to be said for identifying the unique traits and talents that make up your ability to contribute to something larger than yourself, your immanent value.

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But it was the work - not the price tag - that told me that. It was the results I created. It was the ease and relief I brought to my clients.

It was my unique contribution to each relationship that reinforced a growing self-worth. It was the investment of energy, time, and risk that allowed me to get back in touch with my own value as an individual.

As time went on, I could easily name those traits and talents. I became in tune with my immanent value.

And that - and only that - was what allowed me to catapult my earnings well past my own self-imagined ceiling.

Knowing my self-worth made earning more, taking risks, and asking for the true value of the work that I delivered the default.

No, your self-worth is not a number. The number on your paycheck or your hourly rate doesn’t determine how important you are.

But uncovering and reconnecting with the value you already possess - and exercising that value - is the quickest route to earning more than you’ve ever dreamed.

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Selling stuff has got a big of a bad rap hasn’t it?

Which I think is a great big shame because some of the things I have bought have changed my life for the better and bought me a rainbow filled feeling of joy. My juicer. My curling iron. My first car. Working with an incredible coach. Coconut ice-cream. Just to name a few!

And I’m absolutely certain that you have products or services or a blog and online space that is amazing too. The fact you have invested in yourself enough to buy this guide tells me you have right now or will have in the future something incredible to get out there and share with the world that will make a difference to someone’s life.

And you’re going to have to sell it. Going to have to.

This is not a case of build it or make it or create it and they will come. It’s a case of build it, make it, create it and sell it and they will come. And do you know what sales really and truly is? It’s just marketing. That’s

all. Just telling and sharing and promoting and offering up what you do.

What’s bad about that?

Nothing. Nothing is bad about that.

BUT….OK, OK sometimes people get it spectacularly wrong and that’s where I believe the ‘ick factor’ kicks in for many of us. And as a result we turn away from anything ‘salesy’ or develop negative feelings about selling ourselves or being sold to. Well in my book if it feels or looks or reads too ‘salesy’ then something is not coming from a place of authenticity and self-love OR you are simply not their ideal customer or client and would never have purchased from them or read their blog anyway.

Where things go wrong with sales is when people do not respect the value or space of someone else. They fill your twitter feed with buy, buy, buy. Lob your facebook space with constant messages that are sell, sell, sell. SMS you. Drown your inbox. It’s all ask, ask, ask, take, take, take and not a lot of give. And we all know how we feel about people

Non sucky sales and selling

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and friends and family who are like that in our personal life when it’s not even about sales or selling! We don’t like it. It doesn’t feel right. And fair enough.

For sales and selling of your wonderful products, services or blog to truly feel loving and coming from a place of love you must focus on constantly bringing value to your clients, customers and readers above all else. People buy and advertise with people they value and connect with. And that comes from providing beautiful content and value and service most of the time - and selling some of the time. Because when it is time for you to sell something you’ve already got them beautiful - you’ve been giving to them, sharing with them, sharing for them, being of service and just your gorgeous self. And when you promote, market and sell something from that corner I’m betting it’s going to work for you spectacularly.

So drop the fear and the ‘ick’ factor. Now. It’s not serving you. If you see someone sell something in an inauthentic way - step away from it but don’t let it stop you from selling and promoting your work in a self-loving way. Hell no!

Because we need what you’ve got. I’m sure we do. But we won’t know about it unless you sell and promote it to us. Do it with self-love wrapped up in a pot full of giving and you can’t go wrong. I’m sure of it.

It’s sale time!

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beauty box It’s important to me I practice what I preach and when it comes to sales and marketing I know I do. My focus at Beautiful You is to provide people with the best free content

I possibly can to help them live their most real, true and beautiful life. That’s the cornerstone for me of what I do and selling my services and products comes after that.

But it doesn’t come second because to say that or think that means I am putting my livelihood or therefore my life and me second. See the difference? It’s the self-love

difference.

It’s about giving first and selling after that but never thinking of selling as secondary. Grasp hold of that and you’ll put the marketing of your business and blog in exactly the

sweet spot of where it needs to be to make you all you need.

sales starsJody Allen: Driven:: Connecting:: Hardworking:: (Whoa. 80,000 Facebook likers. Yes.

80,000. And why? Because the tour de force that is the Stay At Home Mum gives so much to her community but is reaping the rewards for doing so too through selling her

products and advertising.)

Kerry Belviso: Soulful:: Professional:: Giving:: (Watch this gorgeous lady from Awaken Kinesiology closely. She shares others work and gives great advice but doesn’t hold back from letting her crowd know about her services and offerings. Always with love. Is

she successful? Try getting an appointment.)

Ali Brown: Confident:: Cutting Edge:: Driven:: (Gives a lot. And gets a lot more. When she sells, markets and promotes it just works which is why she’s not called ‘The

Entrepreneurial Guru for Women’ for nothing.

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Indispensable marketing tips for authentic peopleChristine Kane

“The people who release their marketing fears are the same ones who have more clients than they can handle and

more cashflow than they ever imagined.”

But know this:The people who release their marketing fears are the same ones who have more clients than they can handle and more cashflow than they ever imagined. They learn that marketing is actually how they serve!

In fact, it’s a relief when you realize that the problems in your business are not the Universe telling you that you’re lame. They’re just “marketing problems.”

Learn the valuable skill of marketing and watch your wealth build.And take heart! It doesn’t have to be slimy. In fact, authenticity rules!

“But I’m not a widget!” she whined. “It’s harder for me!”

A client was giving me her number one reason she despises marketing. I laughed and told her that it was also the number one reason EVERY solo-business owner claims to despise marketing!

Why is that? Because it feels different when YOU are the product.

You’re not selling widgets. You’re selling YOU, your soul, your passion, your ideas, your services. And marketing YOU feels like ego. It feels phony. It feels salesy.

I won’t lie to you. There will be discomfort when you uplevel your marketing efforts and when you become more present in the marketplace.

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Here are 5 tips for creating success while keeping it real…

1 : Know Your Peeps.You must get VERY CLEAR about who your “peeps” are!

That’s because when you know your ideal client - then you get to speak ONLY to her in your marketing. This not only saves you time and money (after all, marketing to “everyone” is expensive) but gives you true freedom to be yourself and to cater to that one ideal person.

2 : Build Trust. Be Yourself.

People buy from people they “know, like, and trust.”So, how do you build that?

• Establish a regular contact schedule. Make sure your newsletter goes out at the same time each month or week. This shows that you honour your subscribers, and that you are reliable.

• Be yourself. Allow people to see your human side. Even the most distinguished among us burns the veggies and forgets to pay the water bill sometimes. Let them see themselves in you.

• Let go. Some people will unsubscribe and get snarky. No problem. They’re just telling you that they’re not your people. This is the beauty of marketing well.

3 : Be an Expert.Getting over your fear of being an expert is crucial.

Know what else?

Get over the worn-out belief that you need to go back to school and get more letters after your name before you do this.

You can be an expert in body work, organic veggies, vegan cuisine, gemstones, native plants, still-life photography, alcohol addiction, collage, journal writing… and the list goes on.

The difference between you and someone who goes back to school before she’ll let herself write is that your enthusiasm, passion and experience are your expertise! If someone requires that you have letters after your name - then they aren’t your peeps!

4 : Give it away.So, if you have a newsletter, blog, and tutorial videos, won’t people just figure that they don’t have to pay you for your services, your coaching, or your work? After all, you’re giving away all your secrets!

Or so it seems.

The truth is that giving it away is what makes people want to work with you even more because they trust you so much.

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5 : “The Fortune is in the Follow Up”A musician friend called me disappointed the day after he had hosted a huge event in his town. “Hardly anyone came last night,” he said.

I asked him if he told his list about the show.

It turns out he wrote to his list two weeks before the show. No follow up. No reminders.

Listen up, people!

The biggest mistake we make is to play small when it comes to follow up. Your people are busy. They need reminders. Many people respond to that last-minute sense of urgency.

There are strategies to doing this well, for sure. But not following up is a surefire way to get NO response!

Does this stuff take time? Yes.

But remember, it’s the pushy people who want to rush the process that make us all despise marketing. Be patient and allow that strong connection to grow, and you’ll have never ending cashflow in your business.

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When you love yourself you invest in your business and blog AND you as an amazing person. You know that to not do so is not giving to yourself and one of the greatest acts of self-love you can show yourself is to give to yourself. And I want you to be in on the gifts of self-love. Hope you know that by now!

I want to be totally honest with you and share that from my personal and professional perspective you will never be able to take your business and blog to the heights you want without investment back into them. And I’m not talking about spending tens of thousands of dollars - but if you can do that then go.for.it. Find the right people and resources for you, invest in deeply, reap the rewards.

Investing in yourself as a person could mean that you get a regular massage to iron out the kinks in your neck from so much time spent at a computer. Investing in yourself as a person could mean you see a counsellor to unblock that thing that you know is holding you back from being all you can

be. Investing in yourself as a person could mean you go on regular holidays or (damn it!) at LEAST a little mini-break every now and again. Investing in yourself as a person could mean you get a cleaner.

Thank you very much to a cleaner.

Investing in your business and blog could mean you bookmark and read amazing blogs and websites that are filled with helpful marketing, branding, advertising and social media tips. Investing in your business and blog could mean you go to amazing conferences and networking events where you can spread the good word about you and all you do. Investing in your business and blog could mean you work a hip young graphic designer to get you looking shiny, beautiful and beaming. Investing in your business and blog could mean you work with the best of the very best who will help coach, guide, push, suggest and give you a great big loving shove into taking the necessary steps you need to see your professional world soar.

Invest in yourself

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And the right books, and masseuses, and courses and mentors and coaches are out there. Ready for you. And they’re most ready for you when you know that spending the money and time you need to on your business and blog is something you genuinely believe in and want to do.

Why?

Because you’re showing up as someone who believes in themselves. Someone who believes in spending money on themselves is a wise, smart and self-loving thing to do.

Because it is. And you are.

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beauty boxWhen I started Beautiful You I quickly learned (very quickly) that if I was going to have

a profitable and successful business I was going to need to SPEND money. Yep. I was going to have to give it out rather than just open up the floodgates and expect it all to come to me. And at first while I was establishing I don’t mind admitting whenever I

opened my purse it was hard. I felt like I was somehow going against the grain of exactly what it was I was trying to do which was make money.

But soon the magic began to happen. I put into place suggestions I read in marketing books. I met amazing people I traded services with at conferences and networking

events. I got a money coach. A business coach. A life coach. A counsellor of my own. I did online and in person trainings. It cost tens of thousands of dollars. And was worth

every penny.

The investments I have made and continue to make in my business are the best money I spend. And I begrudge none of it and won’t into the future either. It’s all worth it for the

way it helps my business grow. And me grow too.

self-loving investorsEmma Kate Codrington/Emma Kate Creative - Divine:: Special:: Inspirational (A

young artist and designer who has recognised from a very early age the power in working with incredible mentors and investing in herself and her business in immeasurable ways.)

Louise Francis/Foxy and Fabulous - Talented:: Fun:: Real (One of Australia’s most talented portrait photographers. Talk to her about the incredible investments she has

made via coaching, networking and business development. A dynamo.)

Claudia Funder/Swing Patrol - Driven:: Generous:: Motivating (You don’t build one of the world’s most successful lindy hop schools from the ground up without talent or

investment. Travelling the world to both learn from and teach with the best of the best, has allowed Claudia to do just that. A powerhouse.)

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Investing in yourselfAlexandra Franzen

“When you invest in yourself - juuuust past

your comfort level, right to the point where you eyes widen and your heart races and you

mutter a silent prayer to whichever God is

listening that you’re making a good, solid

decision - you will SHOW UP for the experience

you’ve bought, with more energy, alacrity and focus than you ever thought possible.”

Sometimes, we fear (and understandably so) that our big investments won’t pay off, and we’ll be left feeling poor and foolish.

Sometimes, we feel uncertain about the big WHY behind our businesses, and don’t feel justified spending money on a venture that’s only half-baked.

But the biggest reason - in my opinion - is that most of us don’t (really) know how we want to feel, as human beings (let alone

How important is investing in yourself? I’d say . . . invaluable. As in… Beyond calculable or appraisable value. Of inestimable worth. PRICELESS.

That being said, I’d like to expand the definition of the word ‘investment’ - beyond transactional notions of cash, checks and credit card swipes. I ‘invest’ in myself and my business whenever I do, buy, learn or even think something that makes me feel stronger, more capable and more creatively potent. Full stop.

Sometimes, we genuinely believe (whether consciously or unconsciously) that we don’t deserve to receive . . . much of anything, really. We haven’t earned the proper credentials. We haven’t paid our dues. We need to lose ten pounds, first. We simply aren’t good enough. The usual rigmarole of self-defeating nonsense.

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entrepreneurs). And when our desires are buried and murky, it’s damn hard to decide what to invest in!

Whether I’m working or playing (or somewhere in between) I want to feel electric, sought-after, affluent, sensual and free. Any investment - of cash, time or energy - that helps me feel the way I want to feel is a good one. Simple as that.

I’ve been blessed with a thunderous rainstorm of mentors over the past several years. Some offered their services to me, just ‘cause. Others I paid, and happily so. Others were clients first, then creative partners, then friends.

In the past year, I’ve invested in relationship and communication coaching (which has guided me into the most fulfilling and beautifully interdependent relationship of my LIFE) . . . energy work and massage and yoga and pilates (which has improved my mental and physical resilience, immensely) . . . business coaching (which led to a 50% rate increase, without a single hiccup) . . . Tarot card and archetype readings (look, if the angels have something to tell me, I want to know!) . . . and stellar graphic design and web coding support (which keeps me looking sharp and feeling PROUD of my online presence).

I’m now running a six-figure writing and promotional strategy business . . . from my cozy, L-shaped sofa. Or wherever else I see fit to plant myself and my precious laptop. Could I have done it without my coterie of coaches and guides? Perhaps. Could I have done so swiftly, and with such genuine pleasure? Probably not.

When you invest in yourself - juuuust past your comfort level, right to the point where you eyes widen and your heart races and you mutter a silent prayer to whichever God is listening that you’re making a good, solid decision - you will SHOW UP for the experience you’ve bought, with more energy, alacrity and focus than you ever thought possible. You’ll be present. You’ll be DEVOTED. And you’ll get your money’s worth - simply by experiencing a moment, an hour, or a weekend of your own undivided attention.

Building my business has been an act of self-love, from day one.I loved myself enough to quit a not-so-fulfilling cubicle job. I loved myself enough to brave the waters of entrepreneurship, in the midst of the recession. I loved myself enough to pummel through the dry months, knowing and trusting that my talents were real. And I loved myself to invest (in every sense of the word) in myself, at every step. With a light heart (mostly). With tenuous uncertainty (at times). And with gratitude (always).

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Does how you feel about the way you look hold you back from doing things you want to? Hmmmmm….?

I’m hoping it doesn’t (and no - it doesn’t matter what you look like - including your shape and size) but with all my passion for body image and helping people feel amazing about themselves; I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me it did.

The world we’re living in bombards us with messages that we are not acceptable as we are. Our hair isn’t long and luscious enough so we should get extensions. Our skin is too fair so we should get fake tan. Our skin is too dark so we should get it lightened. Our breasts are too small or too droopy and we need to get them ‘done.’ And of course….of course….

Our body is not toned enough, tight enough or thin enough and we should lose weight.

That’s a given.

And unfortunately we can, if we let ourselves, fall victim to this crapola (because

make no mistake that’s what it is) in the most spectacular fashion. We question our beauty. We pinch our thighs. We stress over our skin. And our confidence, self-esteem and love for ourselves suffers. In a big way.

When we aren’t confident and happy about the way we look we compare ourselves to others and very often stop ourselves from doing things we want to do. And I’m not just talking about the very obvious not swimming at the beach which plagues so many. (So sadly.) But I know there are some of you out there who are…

- Not going to networking events

- Refusing appearances on panels

- Will not get up and speak in public

- Don’t take media opportunities

- Are running from a camera

All because you don’t like what you look like. And it’s not just hurting you (which I hate the thought of), it’s hurting your business and blog. Because you hiding away is just not OK

Embrace yourself.Be beautiful.

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- OK? It’s not doing a thing for your business and blog except hurting you and holding you back.

And I want you to step forward with pride and confidence and self-love in who you are. And who you are to me has very little to do with what you look like. It’s not what you look like that has made you such an amazing blogger. It’s not what you weigh that has seen you produce such creative work. It’s not the size of your jeans that has impacted on your incredible service delivery and value.

You know that don’t you?

So how about it beautiful you? Isn’t it time you started to embrace rather than reject? Celebrate rather than worry? Honour rather than hide?

You’re beautiful. Just as you are. And it’s time for you to own that and not use what you look like as an excuse for anything. Because that’s all it is. An excuse.

Stand tall. Push those puppies out. Dress beautifully for you. And get your bling on.

We’re so, so waiting for you. Come out, come out wherever you are.

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beauty box My head and sometimes even my whole body pops up on the tube sometimes and I’m

perfectly willing to admit that while I’m pretty used to it now, it’s still a wee bit nerve-wracking. It’s live TV after all! Sometimes if I’m not near a studio it means I’m beamed

in via satellite but the first time this happened when I saw myself afterwards I went ‘Argggghhhh!’ With no hair and makeup assistance I looked pale, unkempt and like I

hadn’t slept in a week. And I thought I’d done myself up really nice!

I don’t mind admitting that after that experience I wasn’t sure about doing TV again. But then I knew I was being stupid and I just needed to work myself out. So I took myself off to a makeup class and learnt how to do the best damn home blow dry I possibly could.

And while I’ll always take a free ‘do’ and makeup application any day, I’ve now got things to the point where I’m OK to do it on my own. It’s not as polished but hey - it’s me.

And I’m OK as I am. Even for national TV.

beautiful beautiesDanielle Melnyczenko/Danimezza - Beautiful:: Real:: Talented (Everything that

Danni does in her photography and blogging world warmly proclaims “I love and accept myself.” Need further proof? Get yourself here.)

Margarita Tartakovsky/Weightless - Rich:: Soulful:: Inspirational (If you’re even remotely interested in developing a more positive and loving relationship with your body

you need to allow the world of Weightless to touch you. Often.)

Janine Mison/Love Your Shape - Passionate:: Driven:: Giving (Australia’s most amazing personal stylist for plus sized women and anyone wanting to make the very

most of their beautiful body.)

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You look amazing - now just get on with itSally McGraw

“There are a million tiny ways that you can tell the world you love your body, just as it is. And

in doing so, you may just encourage other women to

follow suit.”

Watch your posturePosture and pride are visually linked, no question about it, and walking tall is the simplest, quickest way to show anyone who observes you that you are confident and self-assured. Of course, good posture can convey pride about any number of personal traits, many of them nonphysical. But it stands to reason that being mindful of your body‘s position as a means of expressing self-confidence will be linked, at least in part, with valuing that same body.

In a culture that encourages women to engage in trash talk about their own bodies, in which body confidence is an act of bravery it can be daunting to consider broadcasting pride in your own physical form. But you CAN do it, even in the face of an oppressive environment, reluctant peers, and your own hesitation. I swear! It’s true!

Because broadcasting body confidence doesn’t have to mean wearing an “I Love My Body” tee shirt or responding to every compliment by say, “Oh, I know.” There are a million tiny ways that you can tell the world you love your body, just as it is. And in doing so, you may just encourage other women to follow suit.

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SmileBody confidence can certainly be of the fierce, aggressive sort, but my experience leads me to believe that most folks who’ve accumulated some self-love feel serene and grateful. Smiling at others shows them that serenity and gratitude. Sure, it’s incredibly indirect and the vast majority of onlookers won’t immediately think, “That woman must be smiling because she loves her body!”

And yet those who are locked in constant battle with self-loathing seldom smile directly at others and may feel less inclined to smile overall. Some days suck and some people piss us off, so I’m not advocating big, fake smiles 24/7. Just consider the powerful messages of calm confidence that are broadcast in a simple smile.

Give complimentsWhat now? You’re asking how telling OTHERS that they look fabulous will prove that you feel fabulous yourself? Well, I’ll tell ya. Jealousy is often borne of a fear of shortage: You envy what someone else has because hey, if they’ve got it, how could there possibly be enough to go around? By showing your lack of jealousy, you exude self-confidence. Indirectly, you’re saying, “I’m genuinely happy for you! Also, not threatened because I’m aware of my own self-worth!”

Giving compliments not only spreads good karma and boosts the self-confidence of others, but it shows observers that your generosity of spirit stems from personal pride.

Accept - and append - compliments

This is a more advanced technique, but I’m throwing it out there regardless. When someone compliments you, do NOT deflect. At the very least, respond with a heartfelt, “Thanks!” And once you’re feeling a bit bolder, try appending your responses. If a friend tells you she likes your dress, say, “Thanks! I just adore how it makes my legs look.” If a peer tells you she loves your shoes, say, “Oh thanks, lady! I feel so gorgeous and powerful in these … like I could take over the world!” If a friend tells you your hair looks amazing, say, “You are so sweet! I feel like my hair is one of my best features. Thanks for noticing!”

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Don’t engage in body bashingWe women spend a lot of time and energy talking about how much we wish our acne would clear up, our upper arms would get firmer, our wrinkles would vanish. In this day and age, we do it without thinking. Those thoughts, emotions, and words flow forth from us like breaths the moment we’re among friendly comrades. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

One of the best ways to curb trash talk is to have some sit-down talks with your closest friends and tell them you want it to stop. It may be most effective to couch it all in terms of your own feelings: “I worry about how it affects us,” or “I feel like this kind of talk erodes my self-confidence,” or “I’m just exhausted by going over these issues so constantly.” Start issuing moratoriums on body bashing when you gather with your besties.

If that’s not possible, work on your traffic cop skills: Re-route the conversation whenever it turns to negative body talk. “Girls, do we REALLY need to go there? No, we don’t. Let me tell you about the movie I saw last night …” Or just, “Blah, blah, whatever. Hey, did you hear about the new Mexican restaurant that just opened?”

And, perhaps most importantly, don’t take the bait. As difficult as it will be, do not cave and bash your own body when you get verbally set up to do so. You know the drill. Your girlfriend says, “Ugh, I feel so fat and gross. If only I had thin calves like yours.” And you’re supposed to say, “No way! I hate my calves. I wish I had your gorgeous hair …” Yes, there are some compliments floating around

in there, but they’re encased in sentiments of self-loathing and jealousy. Not good. When your buddy starts the ball rolling, be blunt. Say, “Stop. We’re both gorgeous, luminous, worthy women. Just look at us!” And move the conversation onward and upward.

Dress confidentlyThis will mean something different to each of you, but regardless of how it manifests it is definitely a best practice. As always, this is no mandate: Some days require hide-inside clothes, comfy clothes, or no clothes at all. But as often as you can, dress in clothing that makes you feel amazing. Colours that bring out the highlights in your hair, styles that highlight what YOU love best about your figure, shoes that make you walk proudly and confidently.

The clothing we wear can be a powerful tool for broadcasting body confidence.You won’t love your body every single day. You won’t have the confidence and energy to engage all of these tactics every single day. But if you can try them out even a few times a week, they will make a difference. They will build upon themselves and help you nurture that vital seed of body confidence into a gorgeous bloom, and they will subtly show your peers that self-worth isn’t threatening or conceited or abnormal. Do what you can to broadcast body confidence, and you’ll be helping yourself while helping others; The best kind of goodwill you can possibly spread.

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You made it.

All the way through this self-loving eBook to building your business and blog. The branding and sales. The dealing with setbacks and criticism. The communicating from the heart. Everything.

But have you realised something? Something very special?

This eBook really has been about building and honouring and celebrating you most of all. Because without you your business and blog are nothing. Without you believing in, championing, holding yourself high and loving yourself your business and blog may exist but will never really soar.

And oh how I want them to soar for you. So, so high. Higher and beyond even where you think they can go. Because you’re amazing.

And you deserve it. And we need you. And it’s just got to be.

So love yourself beautiful you.

Dig in and find every possible way to lesson your inner critic, embrace who you are, be sweet with your body and love yourself the whole, whole way. Because when you do - gosh - you’ll be so unstoppable. So magnetic. So magnificent. And that will seep into every part of your professional world. Just as it should.

I love you.

Jules xo

Well done beautiful you!

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Michelle Marie McGrath is the Chief Self-lover of Sacred Self and creates the divine self-love range of Alchemical oils and cards. She is passionate about falling in love with all parts of herself and embodying 100% self-love. She is learning to embrace vulnerability and explore the freedom hidden behind it.

Originally from the UK, she currently lives in Sydney, Australia where she explores her favourite self-loving activities: soaking in the bath, meditating with crystals, immersing herself in a gripping novel, scented candles, buying herself flowers, a glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, lying in bed listening to the rain, massages, chai

Michelle Marie McGrath tea, organic chocolate, creating beautiful aromatherapy products, eating raspberries, watching sunsets, vibrational essences, stand-up comedy and travelling to sacred sites. Her idea of bliss is a combination of these activities simultaneously!

Michelle believes that our most challenging experiences can transform into the most magical gifts. Her message is simple:- the more you love yourself, the more love you are able to love others without needing anything in return. It is a dream come true to share her heartmade products around the world and be an Ambassador for self-love.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest

Your contributors

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Personal and Couples Life Coach. Speaker. Life Enthusiast. Hippie. Wife. Artist. Celebrant. Philanthropist. Writer. Nerd. Lover of self.

Owner and Founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy Smith is a self-proclaimed life enthusiast and love advocate. In her work with individuals, couples, and groups she has been able to move people beyond limiting beliefs and negative self-talk to a place of personal empowerment and self-love.

Although passionate about all aspects of life, Amy feels called to radically impact the world of intimate relationships and works most often with those seeking relationship clarity. In addition to her roles as a coach, blogger, and speaker, she is an ordained celebrant and is honoured to facilitate weddings and sacred ceremonies for both straight and same sex couples.

Additionally, she holds a certification through the nonprofit, Art & Creativity for Healing, has been a featured expert on Fox 5 San Diego, is credentialed through the renowned International Coach Federation (ICF), and received her ordination through Open Ministry out of San Diego, California.

She fervently calls the masses to “Get Your Shit Together” through self-discovery, bravery, and personal empowerment. Joy Junkie. Get loaded.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Youtube :: Pinterest

Amy E. Smith ACC, CPCC

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Rachel Cole is a certified life coach, retreat hostess, instigator of ease, and hunger-satisfier. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, she spent years steeped in the vibrant Bay Area food community while earning her MA in Holistic Health Education. Rachel is on a mission to guide women towards understanding and feeding their truest hungers. Through all her varied endeavours, Rachel is an inimitable inspiration for each of us to feast on our lives. You can find Rachel’s wisdom on Twitter and Facebook.

Dannielle Miller is a major innovator and expert in the field of education and student welfare. In 2003, Dannielle co-founded Enlighten Education which provides girls with training and support to stand up to limiting media and social messages.

In 2007 Enlighten was named Small Business Champion and Dannielle was named as NSW Entrepreneur of the Year. In 2009, The Australian newspaper named Dannielle Australia’s number one Emerging Leader in Learning whilst the Sydney Magazine named her as one of Sydney’s Top 100 Influential People. In 2011, Enlighten was a Finalist for the Australian Human Rights Award.

Dannielle works with tens of thousands of girls across Australia and New Zealand each year and makes regular media appearances. Author of teen parenting book The Butterfly Effect and The Girl With The Butterfly Tattoo, A Girl’s Guide To Claiming Her Power, she is also an avid blogger.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter

Rachel Cole Dannielle Miller

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Mara Glatzel is a self-love coach and author of the body image + authentic living blog, Medicinal Marzipan, where topics include authentic entrepreneurship, creating relationships that don’t suck, and learning to love the skin that you’re in. She loves caffeine, avocados, and polka-dots. Catch up with her (almost) daily body-loving antics and general rabble-rousing on Facebook, Twitter, or shoot her an email.

Business activator + leadership coach Stephanie Pollock has a timely reminder for half-hearted entrepreneurs: hobbyists rarely make history. To truly create your own economy - with an irresistible brand + ideal clients for miles - you’ve got to give your dream the respect + commitment it deserves, face your greatness . . . and CLAIM it.

With digital programs and e-courses for entrepreneurs - and 1-on-1 Going Pro Power Sessions for emerging industry leaders - Pollock is proving that business success has nothing to do with where you live, what you’re selling, or what your résumé says you’re qualified to create - it’s about the mindsets you hold, and the choices you make.

Build a business. Then go beyond it - at StephaniePollock.com

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest

Mara Glatzel Stephanie Pollock

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Melissa Atkins Wardy is the creator and owner of Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies, a company that offers empowering apparel and gifts for girls and a line for little brothers! www.pigtailpals.com launched in 2009 and ships apparel and gifts around the world. Melissa advocates for families and writes about issues involving gender stereotypes and the sexualization of girlhood. Her blog is well known for going after companies that make sexualised and sexist products for children.

You can read her blog or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Melissa’s book will be published by Chicago Review Press in Fall 2013 and will educate parents on how to parent in the age of sexualised childhood and how to fight back against the gender stereotypes galore in children’s products and marketing.

Melissa is a graduate of the University of Minnesota - Twin Cities and holds a degree in Criminology. She worked in the criminal investigations and legal field before having children. She lives with her husband and two young children in beautiful Wisconsin.

Melissa Wardy

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Tia Sparkles is a Coach/Pathfinder, Wordmakerupper, Adventurer, and Lover of Sparkly Things, Nutella and New Zealand. She helps renaissance souls aka multi-passionates, use ALL their passions and interests to create a life and work they LOVE!

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter

Violet & I is a project of love for Melbourne based designer Anna Linklater.

Since launching her first collection ‘Open Road’ in Spring 2009, Anna has continued to design beautiful, vintage inspired garments, each with a touch of bohemian elegance. A country girl at heart with big dreams of living in the Spanish countryside, Anna loves to create from stories yet to be told. Anna’s designs are honest to her inspirations and have a simplistic beauty.

Violet & I creates quality garments with a focus on natural fabrics, using fine silks, cottons and leather. Feminine silhouettes, simple, with only a touch of embellishment are the basis of Anna’s designs, bringing you beautiful garments that will add that little something to your wardrobe, and last for seasons to come.

Violet & I is stocked in boutiques Australia wide.

Violet & I :: Facebook :: Twitter

Matija :: Facebook :: Twitter

Tia Sparkles Anna Linklater

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Jess Ainscough is a writer, holistic health coach, and the creator of the health and wellness website, The Wellness Warrior. Via her e-books, daily blog posts, and videos, Jess’ goal is to empower people to take control of their health and show that the quality of our lives is directly linked to how we treat our body and mind.

Almost four years ago Jess was diagnosed with a very aggressive, rare form of cancer called Epithelioid Sarcoma, in her left hand and arm. After having a high dose of chemo pumped through her arm following scans showed she was clear of cancer. Little did she know it would come back, not even a year after going into remission. After being told that her only real chance of long-term survival would be to have her arm amputated she decided to take matters into her own hands. She politely refused their offers of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and began searching for natural, alternative cancer treatments.

Jess quit her magazine job, swapping a lifestyle of back-to-back parties for one of relaxation and meditation. Ditching a diet that consisted mostly of champagne, canapés and late night Lean Cuisine she became a green juice guzzling, lentil-loving vego. She packed up and moved back to the Sunshine Coast to live with her family and began devoting all her time and energy to restoring her health. Along the way, Jess developed a obsession with passing on all of her newly learnt wellness wisdom to anyone who was parked in front of her for long enough to listen.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter

Jessica Ainscough

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Christine Kane

Christine Kane is known as the Mentor to People Who are Changing the World. She is the president and founder of Uplevel You™, a million-dollar company committed to the growth and empowerment of entrepreneurs and creatives around the globe through teaching not only high-level cutting-edge authentic marketing and business strategies - but also transformational techniques to shift mindsets and wealth.

Christine has now worked with over a thousand people in her Uplevel Your Life® Mastery Program and Uplevel Your Business™ Program & Blueprint, in addition to her popular events and retreats - where she teaches students how to create successful businesses based in their passion, attract an on-going stream of customers, clients and income - while creating a life of meaning and purpose.

After 15 years in a successful career as a popular songwriter and performer, Christine shifted her focus so that she could provide a deeper level of service to other creative and entrepreneurial types. “Yeah,” she laughs. “I went from being a rock star on the stage to helping people be rock stars in their lives and businesses! I love it! This is my dream come true!

Christine’s weekly Uplevel You eZine goes out to over 20,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at www.christinekane.com

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Alexandra Franzen

As a Promotional Wordsmith & Personal Scribe, Alexandra Franzen channels entrepreneurial LOVE into unforgettable language - the kind that inspires an immediate “YES.” Through her 1-on-1 VELOCITY sessions - priced at $1000+ a pop, and booked 3 to 4 months in advance - she helps rising star ‘preneurs articulate their gifts and syncopate their goals into new packages, offerings - and in some cases, entirely new businesses. Her writerly skills have been snapped up by soulful fire-starter Danielle LaPorte, marketing megastar Marie Forleo, international playgirl Gala Darling, master intuitive Hiro Boga, and a vibrant bouquet of branding and marketing agencies, including Red Slice and d.trio.

Alexandra has been spotlighted on the nationally syndicated radio program Marketplace, as well as online orbits like SheBrand, Life By Me, Jack Move, Roots of She, The Choose Love Project and Life of the Freelancer. She once penned a duo of Regency-era erotic short stories. Google hard enough, and you’ll find ‘em. When she’s not wandering aimlessly through the aisles of IKEA, you can find her Twittering away, sippin’ on cranberry kombucha and blogging up a storm.

AlexandraFranzen.com UnicornsForSocialism.com @alex_franzen

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Sally McGraw

Sally McGraw is a Minneapolis-based freelance writer, blogger, and communications professional. She earned a creative writing degree from Binghamton University in 1998 and, after graduation, worked in the book and magazine publishing industry for 10 years. She has contributed writing to local newspapers, magazines, and websites throughout her entire professional life, and is an ongoing contributor to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Her popular daily fashion blog, Already Pretty, explores the intersection of personal style and body image, offers practical figure flattery advice, and urges women to love themselves regardless of weight, age, height, or body type.

Sally has contributed to The Frisky, TypeF and Glamour, and guest posted everywhere from the revered fashion blog The Coveted to the wildly popular style advice blog You Look Fab. She is one third of Strong, Sexy, & Stylish, a collective of experts working to teach women to love themselves, and offers in person and online style consultation services. She firmly believes that style is a tool for self-love that should be accessible to everyone.

Including you.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter

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Tara Gentile Emma McEvoy

Tara Gentile is a thought leader and creative business coach redefining commerce as the creation and distribution of meaning, connection, and experience. She brings creative thinking to branding, product development, and marketing that incorporates both strategy and high touch design. Her approach to business in the You Economy resonates with MBAs, PhDs, and graduates of the school of life.

She writes frequently for the Daily Worth, Design*Sponge, and Etsy. Bestselling author, Jonathan Fields, named her blog a Top 22 Single-Voice Business Blog of 2012. She’s the author of several popular digital guides including her latest on the relationship between personal art and money, The Art of Earning.

Website :: Facebook :: Twitter

(Photographer)

A 23 year old Melbourne girl, born and raised on the beautiful Mornington Peninsula, Emma has been passionate about all things arty since she was very little, growing up with a highly creative Mum. She first picked up a camera when she was 14 and hasn’t put it down since. She graduated from RMIT after studying Visual Merchandising which was great in improving her eye for styling and prop design, however the desire to take pictures burned fiercely inside her soul. Studying Photography and Art Therapy full time, Emma also takes on freelance work and enjoys collaborating with other creative souls.

Website :: Facebook

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Hello there beautiful you. What can I say about me?

I’m many things including wildly happy, an ice-cream aficionado and obsessed about my rose garden, but for you, beautiful you, I’m a life and business coach and counsellor. Beautiful You is my full time work. I’m dedicated to it. And to you.

I coach, counsel and speak to women one on one and in inspirational groups about how they can tap into their real beauty and love themselves for who they are and want to be, find their passionate calling and true work, and live the most brilliant and amazing life.

I see my coaching and counselling clients in person in Melbourne and nationally and internationally through the wonders of the phone and Skype. All three ways are amazing. And I get people results - through my own brand of inspiration, guidance, suggestions, listening, ever-growing impressive list of little pink book contacts, and yes, love.

You can read how my clients have overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, started businesses, grown their income, found love (inside and out), learned to give up dieting and love their

body and find their true self here. It’s been my absolute privilege to work with every single one of them.

And I’d love to work with you - beautiful you.

Whatever you are trying to find, manage, inspire, fix, fly, solve, break, build or love - I’m right here for you.

Let’s get you moving, mending and flying again with counselling to heal your soul and heart.

Let’s get you inspired and challenged and amazed at the true beauty and power that lives within you and your ability to live your dream life with coaching.

Let’s have your next event be absolutely amazing with me at the mic talking passion, purpose, power and being your most beautiful self.

Or you can simply stalk me on facebook or twitter.

I can’t wait beautiful you. Can’t wait.

Be Yourself - Be Beautiful

Julie xo

Your authorJulie Parker

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Did you love ‘Build Your Biz + Blog With Love?’

If you did and you have a blog or website why not consider being a Beautiful You affiliate. It’s fun, fabulous and free.

And oh yeah. It makes you money! For all those avocados, masseuses and shoes remember! Yes - the shoes!

I pay a beautiful 50% to beautiful you for every sale of ‘Build Your Biz + Blog With Love’ you make. Half! Rock on!

You can find all the details about how to become an affiliate here at the Beautiful You website including some cute badges for your site.

There are SO many amazing ways you can promote ‘Build Your Biz and Blog With Love’ to earn you money including

• placing the badges on your blog or website

• write a review on your blog or site

• Include the badge or link in your newsletter

• share it with your facebook friends or on your page

And why not consider doing an interview with me too! I would love to do that for your readers so think up some juicy questions that will serve YOUR community best and let’s get you some sparkly new shoes!

Affiliate information