A newsletter for fathers and families of children with special needs.

Volume: 13:3 A publication of Washington State Fathers Network

Welcome — Bienvenido

WSFN celebrates many things over the course of a year.

Dads are at the center of all of it- events, activities and the

reason we exist. As you will see in this edition, when dads

connect a lot of positive things become possible. These

connections range from the profound to the sublime.

They seem to be highly beneficial regardless. In pictures

and text you will discover some of the ways dads think

about these connections and you can determine for your

self how important they may be.

Specifically, we will focus on the WSFN State

Conference held in October and throw in a few visuals

from more recent activities. Whether the issues are local,

within the state, or beyond its’ borders, the effects of

bringing dads together seem to trend only to the positive.

We’ll provide many examples.

Kindering has been an advocate of fathers since their

very beginning-now 50 years and counting. Some

information will clarify how important they have been to

WSFN. Working with over 3000 children and their

families every year, Kindering has been a leader within

the state and nationally as a comprehensive program

providing early intervention services for children with special needs. From the start

leadership realized the whole family has unique needs when a family member has special

needs. That is why Fathers Network, Sibling Support Project, and Grandparent Project

are all important programs of Kindering. Add educators, coordinators, & therapists, all

committed to making a positive impact, and you have a powerful organization.

Finally, we mention a great book by one of our own, Spencer Hatton. And a fond

farewell to a close friend of WSFN, Dale Carpenter.

Enjoy!

What is WSFN?

The mission of Washington State

Fathers Network (WSFN) is to promote

fathers as crucially important people in

their children and families’ lives. We

firmly believe men are superb resources

for each other and fathers have special

needs of their own

when it comes to

raising a child with

chronic illness or

developmental

disability.

WSFN, a program

of Kindering, is

funded by the Office of Children with

Special Health Care Needs Program,

Washington State Department of Health,

grants, and private donations.

Winter, 2014

CONNECTIONS

Washington State Fathers Network

WSFN State Conference-October 5, 2013 The conference at Microsoft in October was incredible. The Dads Panel set the tone right from the start. The transparency, courageous honesty, and wonderful grittiness dads seemed to provide when talking about serious and important topics-such as themselves, their children, and family-sent an important signal. Dads are here to learn from one another! The comments by dads in attendance point to this segment of the conference as one of the most outstanding elements of the day. And this was only the beginning of important connections!

Ken, Eddie, and Mike provided compelling stories of courage, devotion, love, and resilience as the Dads Panel kicked off the conference with tremendous energy and insight.

Dads absorb impressive data about other dads and WSFN. It’s all good!

Washington State Fathers Network Dads also enjoyed: Valuable Breakout Sessions: Open Mic, Keynote, Silent Auction, “Big Time Daddy” Awards, and best of all, the comraderie of each other’s company! Congratulations to Jack Baker and Mimi Siegel as recipients of the coveted “Big Time Daddy” honors. Jack is a devoted dad and served as a chapter leader. He continues to promote WSFN in many ways. Mimi, only the third female to receive the award, has supported and valued dads for her whole career as Executive Director of Kindering. Thank both of you for your dynamic support! Dads Conference Evaluation Comments: “This conference saved my life.” “I feel a new bounce-renewed purpose + hope for my family’s future.” “The panel-best I’ve ever experienced.” “Excellent information-humorous, honest, useful.” “I now have a game plan going ahead with my son’s life.” “Much, much more than I expected.” “I liked the sessions because they have helped me understand the capabilities of working with my children and myself. “This event has opened my eyes to realize that I am not alone….” “The vibes and energy. It is so contagious.” “Lots of soul.” “This was the best conference I have ever attended.” The annual conference provides dads with current and cutting edge information on topics they have identified as essential for dads having children with special needs. The experts contributing to the conference are at the top of their field in knowledge and of connections to the broader community. We are grateful for their willingness to share their considerable talents! One of the very positive side effects of the conference is what it contributes to families. Dads report their wives especially appreciate their spouses participating in the day, as dads get to see what other dads are thinking and doing, but also expand their knowledge of the many challenges both dads and moms experience when having unique children. WSFN also knows dads may act differently after attending this transformative experience. We know dads often are more confident. They feel more informed, and have a clearer focus for themselves, their child, and their family. We know this because dads tell us these exact things have happened to them. We are looking forward to 2014 and our important work with dads!

Washington State Fathers Network

WSFN Contributes to Indianapolis Symposium In November, the Fathers and Families Center in Indianapolis held their first ever symposium for dads having children with special needs. Dr. Wallace McLaughlin, Executive Director of the center, invited WSFN to participate. Charged with addressing the topic, “Where do we go from here?” Greg Schell, WSFN Director, was pleased to share many lessons learned by WSFN over the past 35 years. Dads were especially pleased to have the opportunity to connect with other dads. Not surprisingly dads found it refreshing talking about their issues with other dads in similar situations, knowing they had little to explain, and a lot to contribute. The Fathers and Families Center does extensive work with all kinds of dads. The symposium points to their innovative nature, and one that appears to be paying immediate dividends for dads and their families. The symposium was another fine addition to their many successes.

John, Greg, Dr. McLaughlin, Dr. Naseef, and Mark enjoyed meeting each other & contributing to the success of the Symposium.

Greg Schell, WSFN Director, and other speakers provided information during a Q & A. It was also a time dads provided their own perspectives on important issues. The day provided the opportunity to learn extensively from each other. The humor was abundant, the dialogue deep, and the experience exhilarating.

Washington State Fathers Network

Anxiety decreased 97% Enthusiasm towards their child increased 69% Feelings of joy increased 67% Family relationships improved 77% I have someone to talk to increased 80% Feelings of hopelessness decreased 57%

Participation in WSFN generates significant changes for fathers and families. Fathers reported the following:

Research by UW Bothell, December, 2012

The data clearly shows how dads and families benefit when dads make connections with other dads and useful information. This cross sectional on-line survey of 38 questions, responded to by 146 dads provides solid evidence of how important it is for dads to make these valuable connections.

Washington State Fathers Network

Spencer Hatton, a great dad, award winning journalist and editor, outstanding contributor to WSFN, and a very thoughtful human being, published a book about many interesting things this past spring. Titled “Counting Crows: Stories of Love, Laughter and Loss,” topics range from the uproarious to the deeply personal. You will meet a group of courageous fathers who, like the author, have raised children with special needs. And then there are the long, painful steps the writer takes following the death of his wife, and

two years later, the tragic death of his 18 year old son, Jed. It’s a journey of deep sorrow, fresh discoveries and renewed hope, making “Counting Crows” a reading experience not to be missed. “Counting Crows” was an Indie Book Award Finalist, and THE First Place Book in the Beach Book Festival Awards. [To obtain an autographed copy go to www.spencerhatton.com . Go to the tab “How to buy a book” and follow the instructions. Or, if you want just the book go to Amazon.com or for the Kindle version.]

Dale Carpenter Will Be Long Remembered One of the most humorous people you could have ever known was one way Dale is described by his friends. His tough and courageous fight with brain cancer did not change his unique outlook, although it took his life. Humor, his family, his extensive network of close friends, and his many and important contributions to WSFN are only a few of the things Dale valued. His nearly unstoppable energy and his interest in making the world a better place for all of us has left a considerable legacy. WSFN is particularly appreciative of his work with the Yakima Chapter, in addition to his humorous, and unbelievable fund-raising prowess. He had a big heart for dads, kids, and families, and he was dedicated to making things work well for all of them. It was easy to enjoy Dale’s company, but it will be difficult to adjust to his passing. We are keeping his family and good friends in our thoughts & prayers.

Washington State Fathers Network Working with Kindering staff regarding many issues concerning children with special needs, their families, and dads makes WSFN’s work considerably easier. Their skill, passion and commitment are exceptional. A few of the consummate professionals gathered to celebrate the season & wish everyone only the best in the New Year-2014!

Washington State Fathers Network Kindering Center 16120 NE Eighth Street Bellevue, Washington 98008-3937 425-653-4286 www.fathersnetwork.org “A powerful voice for fathers and families of children with special needs.” WSFN advocates for the concerns of fathers and families of children with special needs. Opinions, statements, and positions stated herein are the those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of WSFN or funding agencies. Contact Greg Schell for a hard copy of this publication or with any questions: greg.schell@kindering.org