November 2010 1

Connections

CONGREGATION ETZ CHAYIM RABBI ARI CARTUN • EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR IRV DUCHOWNY 4161 ALMA STREET, PALO ALTO, CA 94036 (650) 813-9094 WWW.ETZCHAYIM.ORG NOVEMBER 2010 HESHVAN/KISLEV 5771

Dinner with friends on a Friday night...what a great way to usher in Shabbat! Several years ago a group of Etz Chayim adult members came together to meet new people and enjoy a great meal and the company of friends in a social setting. The group, named Moadon (Hebrew for gathering), met regularly for Shabbat dinners in each other’s homes. Now we are bringing back this tradition, this time in our synagogue home. Moadon’s first potluck Shabbat dinner in two years will be November 12 at 6 pm at Etz Chayim. Here’s how it works:

Contact the organizer, who’ll let you know what is needed for the meal. This month’s organizer is Karen Bergen

Let the organizer know what you’d like to bring. Each person brings one item (so couples need to bring two items) that is ready to serve six.

We sing the blessings, light the candles, and enjoy Shabbat dinner together.

At 7:30, if you want to attend services, just gather your belongings and go; if you want to shmooze longer or go home, that’s fine, too.

Cost: Just the cost of what you bring!

Here’s what we need for the next dinner (and how many people to bring each item). The meal will be milkig. No meat or poultry this time, please.

2 challahs (1) Soup or salad (2) Kosher wine/grape juice (1) Other beverages (1) Main dish (fish is okay) (2) Veggie dish (2) Pasta/rice/potato dish (2) Dessert (2)

To sign up or to have your questions answered, contact Karen at kkbergen@comcast.net.

Three Festive Dinners The Wikipedia entry for Shabbat references three festive meals.

Shabbat is a day of celebration as well as prayer. It is customary to eat three festive meals: Dinner on Shabbat eve (Friday night), lunch on Shabbat day (Saturday), and a third meal, known as Seudah Shlishit, in the late afternoon . . .

● Meals begin with a blessing over two loaves of bread (lechem mishneh), usually a braided challah, which is symbolic of the double portion of manna which fell for the Jewish people during their 40 years in the desert . . . It is customary to serve meat or fish, and sometimes both, for the Shabbat evening and morning meals. The third meal, eaten late Shabbat afternoon, is called Seudah Shlishit (literally, "Third Meal"). This is generally a light meal and may be parve or dairy.

There are three dinners highlighted in this month’s Connections issue. Not all are on Shabbat, but all will be festive. One supports our budget, one is for building the Etz Chayim community, and one supports US-Israel relations.

November 5, 6:30 pm – Fundraising Shabbat Dinner. This is a traditional Shabbat dinner, with outstanding food and charming dinner companions: homemade challah, chicken, and more, that feeds your soul and benefits our budget. For more information, go to page 8.

November 12, 6 pm – Moadon Potluck Check out the other column on this page for more information.

December 12, 6 pm – Annual South Bay AIPAC Membership event The AIPAC dinner will be at the San Jose Fairmont. The keynote speaker is the dynamic U.S. Representative Shelley Berkley from Las Vegas. For more information, go to page 9.

Plan to attend all three or just one. Eat, eat, there’s more in the kitchen!

Deadline for December Connections

The deadline for December Connections is 5pm November 19.

November 2010 2

In This Edition

Three Festive Dinners

Dinner with Friends

Everything You Wanted to Know About Etz Chayim: Who You Gonna Call?

Board of Directors Staff

Committee/Group Chairs

Committee of the Month: Bar and Bat Mitzvah

A Message from the Rabbi: If I Can’t Dance . . . Judaism Just for Fun

I Just Wanted to Say . . . Tikkun Olam Project

Todah Rabah

Upcoming Events: Moadon Potluck Holiday Boutique New Member Tea

Save the Date AIPAC Membership Event Meet the Author Ives Quartet Concert

L’Etz Celebrate Events

Adult Education

AIPAC Membership Event

Holiday Boutique

Palo Alto Pee Wee Football

Sponsor an Oneg

Women of the Wall

Simchas New Members

Kvelling

Donations

Sponsor a Siddur

Yahrzeits

Printable Calendar --------------

Connections Staff Editor: Elissa Wellikson Assistant Editors:

Jessica Bernhardt JoAnne Goldberg Tatiana Granoff Sue Weber

Everything You Wanted to Know About Etz Chayim, But Were Afraid to Ask Who You Gonna Call?

Congregation Etz Chayim is able to offer many programs and services to you—our congregants and community—with the help of many volunteers, but it is our wonderful core group of employees who keep everything together and running smoothly. The following is a quick reference guide—WhoYou Gonna Call when you have a question or need assistance at Congregation Etz Chayim.

Quick Reference Guide

Our Staff Main # 650-813-9094 Email Address Rabbi—Rabbi Ari Cartun Ext. 213 rabbicartun@etzchayim.org Executive Director—Irv Duchowny Ext. 206 execdirector@etzchayim.org Education Director—Melissa Rogoway Ext. 214 educationdirector@etzchayim.org Accountant—Donna Munic Ext. 205 accountant@etzchayim.org Administrative Assistant—Lea Kingsbury Ext. 201 lea@etzchayim.org Assistant to Rabbi—Sara Kaderlan Ext. 213

Rabbinical and Religious Topics, call Rabbi Cartun

Pastoral counseling. Rabbinic advice and discussion (in groups or in private), helping create

congregational Jewish policies. Officiating at congregational services, holy occasions and at life cycle events. Adult and children’s Jewish education. Representing the congregation as a rabbi in the community. Helping build a congregational ethos and ethic, as well as fostering a rabbinic

relationship with all members. Information about bar/t mitzvah preparation.

General, Operational, and Procedural Topics, call the Executive Director, Irv Duchowny:

General congregational functions and operations issues. Membership information; getting involved and volunteer opportunities at Etz Chayim. Discussions about membership dues and fees modifications. Renting rooms at Etz Chayim for parties, meetings, events, bar/t mitzvahs and

weddings, etc. Scheduling of meetings for Etz Chayim business and committees. Recommendations of vendors to congregants. Advertising for Connections and other publications. Oneg sponsors, service needs and preparation.

Religious Education Topics, call the Education Director, Melissa Rogoway

Youth education and religious school for 2-1/2 year olds through high school. Educational programs, activities, teachers, enrollment, and curriculum. Bar/t mitzvah preparation and tikkun olam project information. Sunday T’fillah (services). Information about Kadima! (youth group grades 6-8) and ‘It’s a Girl Thing’ program. Individual education plans for students with mild to moderate special needs.

continued next page

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Next Board Meeting Board meetings are open to all.

Sunday November 7, 2010

7:00 pm Etz Chayim Library --------------

Board of Directors President: Judy Rattner judyrtnr@pacbell.net Executive VP JoAnne Goldberg joanne@missionctrl.com Secretary: Tatiana Granoff tgranoff@aol.com Treasurer: Sheryl Klein sheryl.klein@gmail.com

Celia Aufdemberge celiaaufdemberge@att.net James Baloun yonatan62@yahoo.com Brian Burns burns@ai.sri.com Myra Gilfix myra.gilfix@gmail.com Wynn Hausser wynnh@stanfordalumni.org Bart Hechtman cbhechtman@att.net Ron Krasnow ron@thekrasnows.com Alan Kushnir akushnir@comcast.net Aimee Lysaght lysaght@sbcglobal.net Gadi Maier gadim2020@gmail.com Marc Rossner marc@hybridmedia.com Karl Sonkin ksonkin@aol.com Elissa Wellikson ewellikson@hotmail.com Bob Wolfert thewolferts@yahoo.com

-------------- Staff

Rabbi Ari Cartun Irv Duchowny, Executive Director

Melissa Rogoway, Education Director

Donna Munic, Accountant Lea Kingsbury, Administrative

Assistant Sarah Kaderlan, Rabbinic Assistant

Click here for contact info

continued from previous page Financial and Accounting Topics, call Accountant, Donna Munic

All accounting and financial issues. Membership dues, fee payments and invoice questions. Sign-ups for fundraising events (i.e., L’Etz Celebrate). Accounts payable including reimbursement checks for volunteer expenses. Receipts for in-kind and Just-Buy-It list donations. Donations made in honor of or in memory of someone (e.g. Sponsor a Siddur,

Memorial Grove leaf, Send-A-Card Double Mitzvah).

Administrative/Recordkeeping Topics, call Administrative Assistant Lea Kingsbury Administrative issues and messages to staff. Etz-bulletin inclusions. Monthly Healing list and Yahrzeit list. Website information and updates. Membership personal information updates (address, phone, email changes).

Visit our website www.etzchayim.org for Congregational information including

Calendar with holy days, meetings, events, and programs, including school. Membership directory (for members only) to view or print. Details about religious practices and services, schedule of services, Torah

readers, bar/t mitzvah calendar, special holy day services. Information about volunteer opportunities. Contact information for member programs. Tunes for prayers for Saturday morning service.

Some additional congregational programs and services Discuss congregation policies and

practices Current Board President Judy Rattner judyrtnr@pacbell.net

Connections articles and ads Elissa Wellikson ewellikson@hotmail.com eScrip registration Laura Wingard laura_wingard@yahoo.com Torah reading and chanting trop Jonathan Salzedo jsalzedo@gmail.com Library donations and borrowing Tatiana Granoff tgranoff@aol.com Mitzvah Chavurah - help with

meals, errands and transportation during illness or mourning

Liz Shane lizshane1963@aol.comor Sue Weber sue.weber@gmail.com

Please cut out this page and keep it as a reference guide to know

Who You Gonna Call at Congregation Etz Chayim.

Celia Aufdemberge

Coming soon: Who You Gonna Help—Volunteering at Congregation Etz.Chayim.

November 2010 4

Committees and Groups

Committee Chairs

Adult Education: Ted Schachter Bar/t: Elissa Kaplan/Susan Kay Capital Campaign: Sheryl Klein Design: Barry Katz/Ron Shipper Facilities: James Baloun Festivals: Bob Wolfert Finance: Sheryl Klein/Robert Berman Fundraising: Ron Krasnow Israel Ed: Marlene Maier/Mike Gilfix/ Amir Rosenbaum JCC: Eric Savitz Library: Tatiana Granoff Marketing: JoAnne Goldberg Membership: Amy Balsom/Judy Rattner Mensch: Sue Benjamin/Jeff Dean Mitzvah Chavurah: Liz Shane/Sue Weber Oneg: Helen Stavropoulos Sandoval Rabbinic Resources: Preeva Tramiel Religious Practices: Emily Allen Rental: Karen Kennan Social Action: Mark Lee Volunteer: Elissa Wellikson Webmaster: Ted Goldstein Youth Education: Aimee Lysaght

Group Chairs AdventurEtz: Stephen E. Branz People of the Books: Susan Gold/ Linda Wittlin Film Club: Joan Sperans Handworkers: Jessica Bernhardt Israeli Folk Songs: Dahlia Blech It’s a Girl Thing: Melissa Rogoway Kadima!: Jarrod Marks Men’s Group: Peter Levin Shabbat Dinners: Sheryl Klein Teen Group: Michaela Gold Women’s Group: Judy Rattner/ Paula White-Reddy What Now? Women’s Group: Marion Rubinstein You Too-Parents of Kids

Who Learn Differently: Dina Jacobson

Check out Committees and Groups for more information. Have a new group? Send information to office@etzchayim.org.

Committee of the Month Bar and Bat Mitzvah

The bar and bat mitzvah committee, aka bar/t committee, oversees the bar and bat mitzvah process at Congregation Etz Chayim. The

committee works on bar/t scheduling, policy, and the overall bar/t process.

The committee includes the rabbi, the educational director, representatives from the religious practices committee and the education committee, and interested

congregants. Meetings are held several times a year, and sometimes break out groups are set up to study a particular issue. For example, a recent group was formed to try to figure out ways to have more options for tutoring students on their individual Torah portions and Haftarah readings and to reduce the costs to our families. Another recent effort is working with the youth education committee to better integrate the congregation’s goals. We also occasionally meet to address concerns for individual families when problems arise.

Each year, the bar/t committee sends letters to families whose children will be 11 years old during the coming year. The packet includes information about bar and bat mitzvahs at Etz Chayim, including who to call with questions! The established process for selecting dates includes many factors, and we strive to have families end up with a date that is meaningful for them.

Becoming a bar/t mitzvah at Etz Chayim is a very exciting time for all of us. Our congregation was founded on the principle of education – and during the bar/t process, we all learn! The bar/t student, the family, the rabbi and educator who work closely with the student and families, as well as the congregation which learns from the student’s commentary on his/her Torah portion during the service. And with each bar/t mitzvah, we get to welcome a new Jewish adult and Torah reader to Etz Chayim and the Jewish community!

Community building is another huge piece of the bar/t process, and many of our members have formed lasting friendships going through the bar/t process. A shared experience through religious school, Shabbat services, Shabbat dinners and family classes all help to create community. There is nothing like working in the kitchen setting up an oneg for a fellow bar/t mate to build friendships!

The bar/t committee is here to support our bar/t families in any way we can. If you would like to join the committee contact Susan Casner Kay or Elissa Kaplan.

Elissa Kaplan and Susan Casner KayBar/t Committee Chairs

November 2010 5

If I Can't Dance: Judaism Just for Fun A Message from the Rabbi Here are two contradictory quotes about having fun being Jewish. “Serve haShem in joy. Come, face G0d in song!” Psalm 100:2. Just as this applies while worshipping, so it applies while I do my daily tasks. Snow White said to whistle while you work. So I turn up the music and dance while I work. There is another verse that balances this one. “Serve haShem in Awe/Fear. Come, face G0d in/while quaking/trembling!" Psalms 2:11. Is this a Zen koan or a Jewish kohen? It is certainly a paradox. Simply put, we need both verses, for if being Jewish isn't fun, why do it? And if it isn't important, why do it? Basically, you've done the serious stuff already on Yom Kippur. If you let that be the end of the story, you'll have a lasting sense of Judaism being about sin and guilt. That fits some people's narrative. But the whole point of Yom Kippur is to cleanse

ourselves morally and spiritually so that we can enjoy Sukkot, a seven-day party in a hut.

Emma Goldman, an early 20th century US anarchist/communist radical, related that once she was dancing at a party when a boy came up to her and said that the way she danced was undignified for one who was on the way to become a force in the anarchist movement. “He said my frivolity would only hurt the Cause. I grew furious at the impudent interference of the boy. I told him to mind his own business. I was tired of having the Cause constantly thrown into my face. I did not believe that a Cause which stood

for a beautiful ideal, for anarchism, for release and freedom from convention and prejudice, should demand the denial of life and joy." This incident is the source of a quote commonly attributed to

Goldman:

If I can't dance, it's not my revolution!

If I can't dance, I don't want your revolution!

If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution.

A revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having.

If there won't be dancing at the revolution, I'm not coming.

Substitute “religion” for “revolution” and that is my belief. Some folks are obsessive about doing as many mitzvot as scrupulously correct for fear that

G0d will zap them for a ritual infraction. This leads them to have cardiac infarctions. So, listen to the passion of your soul as you act

out being a Jewish mensch. Dance! Sing! For those of you into cracked logic, use this syllogism based on Judaism being commutative, that is, that its words can be understood backwards and forwards equally well. When the Psalm says “worship G0d in joy, approach G0d singing” you can think, "every time I'm happy I'm worshipping G0d, and every time I'm singing and dancing, I'm approaching G0d!” Party on! It's a mitzvah, as well as practice in being joyfully Jewish. Show your kids and friends how it's done.

Rabbi Ari Mark Cartun

November 2010 6

I Just Wanted to Say . . . Tikkun Olam Project – Shoes, shoes, shoes

My bar mitzvah is May 14, 2011. For my bar mitzvah service project, I am collecting as many new or lightly used shoes as I can. I am donating these shoes to the Soles for Souls Charity (http://www.soles4souls.org/) to be donated to people that need them in the name of the Holocaust Shoe Project (http://holocaustshoeproject.org/).

I choose this project because my grandfather, Alex Bauer, is a Holocaust survivor. My grandfather was 22 years old in the winter of 1944, when he was taken from Budapest to Dachau concentration camp.

He was then in a number of other small camps until he was released at the end of the war. My

grandfather told me that he was lucky enough to have good shoes. He

credits his shoes with keeping him alive. My grandfather came to the United States in 1948.

Between now and the end of the year there will be a box in the Etz Chayim lobby for your donations of shoes.

Thank you for your donation and for your help.

Ben Bauer

******* How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. Anne Frank

******* Todah Rabah

We appreciate all of the efforts of our volunteers. So many members of our congregation do so much to make Etz Chayim such a great place. This month we extend our special thanks to the following people:

James Baloun, for repairing our classroom windows, just in time for Religious School start-up Emily Allen, James Baloun, Amy Balsom, JoAnne Goldberg, Ron Krasnow, Ruth Lowy, Aimee

Lysaght, Judy Rattner, Eric Savitz, Sally Teichner, Andrea Temkin, Bob and Lisa Wolfert, for staffing the table and reaching out to potential members at the To Life! Festival

To all the members of the Mitzvah Chavurah for supporting congregants with meals, rides and visits in times of need, with special thanks to Karen Bergen, for her help delivering meals and visiting with our congregant in Saratoga

Sue Benjamin and Jeff Dean, for chairing our new Mensch committee Pancake breakfast volunteers, Scott Thurm, Pablo Cohn, Bruce Richmond, Mark

Balch, David Finkelstein, Colm Lysaght, Bart Hechtman, Collin Stone

We’re only human and we make mistakes. Forgive us and correct us, please. Our birthday, Yahrzeit and todah rabah lists are only as good as our database and updates you give us. If you see a listing that is wrong or information is missing, we hope that you will let us know. We want to get it right, so please e-mail office@etzchayim.org and we will correct our records. And if you let us know the date of your anniversary, we’ll join you in celebrating that as well!

November 2010 7

Upcoming Events– Mark Your Calendar and Join Us

Moadon Potluck Dinner November 12, 6pm

Moadon provides the opportunity for adult congregants to meet new people and enjoy a great meal and the company of friends in a social setting. Go to page 1 for more information

Etz Chayim Holiday Boutique and Book Sale

November 14, 10 am to 4 pm

Volunteers are needed to help with this event. Also we are collecting used books in good condition for the book sale. Look for the bin in the lobby and call the office to volunteer. Go to page 10 for more information.

New and Prospective Member Tea

November 21, 4 to 6 pm Etz Chayim Library

Come meet and schmooze with our Board, our Rabbi and other Etz Chayim members as we welcome our new congregants and prospective members to afternoon tea and snacks.

Questions? Please email linda_etzchayim@yahoo.com

Save the Date

AIPAC Annual Dinner December 12, 6 pm

Fairmont Hotel, San Jose Plan to attend this annual AIPAC membership event being chaired by Mike and Myra Gilfix. Go to page 9 for more information

Ives Quartet Benefit Concert

at Etz Chayim January 30, 4 pm

The Ives Quartet, which includes our longtime congregants Susan Freier and Stephen Harrison, has a reputation for passion, precision, and provocative programming, winning accolades for playing

music that shows both super-refinement and visceral, rock-and-roll intensity. They have captivated audiences from San Francisco to New York, London to Taiwan. In January they will perform at Etz Chayim. Mark your calendar. You won’t want to miss it.

Meet the Author-Michele Cameron December 15, 7:30 pm

Etz Chayim Women’s Group and

People of the Books, Etz Chayim Book Group

Invite you to come and meet Michelle Cameron, discussing her novel The Fruit of Her Hands

Michelle Cameron will guide us back to 13th Century Europe to meet her ancestor, Meir ben Baruch and his family. It’s a fascinating journey as the father gives his daughter a more modern upbringing by educating her, as she combines traditional and non-traditional female roles. The novel takes place in France, mixes mystery with romance and contains themes of anti-semitism. This author’s first book makes for an interesting and compelling read. Come meet Michelle and listen to her story. Her book will be available for purchase, and noshes will help fuel our discussion. Questions? Email bookclubchair@etzchayim.org

This event, originally set for October 24, had to be rescheduled by the author due to a family emergency.

November 2010 8

Upcoming L’Etz Celebrate Events

Check out the booklet for more information. Thanks to our sponsors and the hosts of upcoming parties and events.

Shabbat Dinner November 5, 6:30 pm, Etz Chayim Enjoy a traditional Shabbat dinner beginning with homemade challah. Menu includes chicken, veggies and rice, with a vegetarian option available. Outstanding food and charming dinner companions -- there‘s no better way to get into the Shabbat mood.

IDEO Tour November15, 6 pm, IDEO Palo Alto Curious about what goes on at this global design company? Jon Kaplan and Barry Katz will give you a behind-the-scenes look. IDEO says “[o]ur values are part mad scientist (curious, experimental), bear-tamer (gutsy, agile), reiki master (hands-on, empathetic), and midnight tax accountant (optimistic, savvy). These qualities are reflected in the smallest details to the biggest endeavors, composing the medium in which great ideas are born and flourish.”

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First Ever Fifth Friday New Year’s Eve Bash

December 31, 8 pm, Etz Chayim

So you don’t think of yourself as a party animal? New Year’s Eve never been your thing? We’ve got just the party for you. Hosted by your fun-loving board, featuring many familiar traditions, plus some brand new ones created just for this night. Babysitting will be available onsite for a small extra fee.

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Silk Scarf Painting Lesson Postponed from November 1 - Watch for the new date

Salsa Lessons plus Mojitos

Postponed from November 6 - Watch for the new date

Adult Education

All events at Etz Chayim unless otherwise indicated

Torah Study

Saturdays 9 to 10 am Read the portion of the week on Shabbat morning and discuss the many different translations and commentaries. All in English. No experience necessary.

Chanting Class

Thursdays 7 to 8:30 pm November classes on 11/4, 11/11 and 11/18

Check web for class schedule.

Ketubah and Art

November 7, 10:15am

Film Club - showing movies the second Tuesday of the month – 6:30 pm

November 9 – Sallah Shabbati December 14 – A Serious Man

The People of the Books –the Etz Chayim Book Group usually meets third Sunday of the month—10:30 am to noon

November 21: The Sabbath World by Judith Sulevitz December 19: The Three Weissmanns of Westport

by Cathleen Shine January 30: The Cookbook Collector by Allegra Goodman

Any questions, contact bookclubchair@etzchayim.org

November 2010 9

Annual AIPAC South Bay Membership Event Chaired by the Gilfixes – Plan to attend AIPAC, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, is devoted to maintaining and strengthening the US – Israel relationship at every level.

Etz Chayim’s own Myra Gerson Gilfix, a current Board member and past-president Michael Gilfix are co-chairs of this year’s AIPAC South Bay Annual Membership Event, which takes place on Sunday, December 12 at the Fairmont Hotel in San Jose. The keynote speaker is the dynamic U.S. Representative Shelley Berkley from Las Vegas, Nevada.

Last year, 70 Etz members got everyone’s attention because of our impressive level of participation. No other congregation demonstrated greater growth in its support of the annual dinner. This year, we hope to exceed last year’s support and participation.

Rabbi Cartun worked particularly hard last year to make this happen. He is again urging our membership to attend. “We are placing special emphasis on getting our younger members to attend, and will invite

the entire Immun class, in particular,” Rabbi Cartun said.

Thanks to Myra’s and Mike’s personal leadership and role as co-chairs, Etz Chayim has a real stake in making another statement by showing up in great numbers.

If you have any questions about the dinner, the speakers, or AIPAC, Myra and/or Mike are happy to talk with you.

To register, go to www.aipac.org/norcalevents.

Mike and Myra Gilfix

November 2010 10

Volunteer to help! Sign up sheet in the lobby.

November 2010 11

Palo Alto Knights' Jr. Pee Wee Football Remains Perfect Josh Brigel, son of Etz Chayim member Faith Brigel, intercepted two passes, scored the game-tying touchdown and caught the go-ahead extra point as the Palo Alto Knights' Jr. Pee Wee football team produced an exciting 15-14 victory over Oak Grove South. The Palo Alto Knights' is the only unbeaten squad among the program's teams.

Oak Grove South entered the game unbeaten and averaging nearly 30 points a game while allowing only seven points in five contests. Palo Alto also was averaging about 30 points a game and had given up just

six points in five previous outings. Obviously, something had to give in this battle of unbeaten teams. Brigel saved the day for the Knights in the fourth quarter by intercepting the two passes. With Palo Alto trailing 14-8, Brigel picked off his first pass and returned it 60 yards for a touchdown to tie the game at 14. The Knights then converted the extra point on a halfback option pass from Ethan Stern to Brigel in the back corner of the end zone. That gave Palo Alto a 15-14 lead. Oak Grove was driving in the final minutes when Brigel intercepted his second pass to seal the Knights' victory. Congratulations, Josh.

Sheryl Klein

******

Publicize Your Upcoming Event The eBulletin is a quick notice or reminder of upcoming events. To give more information, put it in Connections. Send a write-up to ewellikson@hotmail.com with details and links. The deadline for December Connections is 5pm November 19.

Reach a select audience by advertising in Connections

Let your friends, retailers and service providers know. We offer very reasonable rates to advertise to the families and friends of Etz Chayim—more than 400 hundred households.

Sponsor an Oneg Thank you to our oneg sponsors in October: Tatiana Granoff, honoring Edith Molton; Etz Chayim Board, honoring new board members; Baer family in honor of Alexander becoming a bar mitzvah; Krasnow family; JoAnne Goldberg, Vincent Bressler and family; Celia Aufdemberge; membership committee; and Bob Wolfert. It’s easy to sponsor an oneg. All the information you need is on our website. You can sponsor an oneg to celebrate a simcha – a birthday, an anniversary or a graduation – to commemorate a yahrzeit, or just because you plan to come to services. And don’t forget to tell your friends you are the oneg sponsor so they can join you. Want to know who is sponsoring this week’s onegs? Look for the names of the oneg sponsors in the eBulletin along with the service information.

November 2010 12

Women of the Wall

Women’s Organization Fights for Gender Equality in Judaism

In 1982 at the Western Wall in Jerusalem a quiet, peaceful service was being held. To the modern culture this may seem normal, but this service was being held with both men and women. At the Western Wall, tradition holds that mixed gender services are not permitted, and women are not allowed to wear prayer shawls or even hold services from the Torah, the holy writings of the Jewish people. Though the service began peacefully, it quickly escalated into chaos amongst angry protests. Rabbi Ari Cartun, of Congregation Etz Chayim, a local unaffiliated synagogue, vividly remembers hearing, “Do this in Times Square!” as he was violently thrown out of the plaza. Back then this was a major insult because Times Square was, as Rabbi Cartun explained, “the center of depravity.” Women of the Wall was founded in 1988 by feminist Orthodox women with the goal of earning the right for women to pray as they wish at the Western Wall—Kotel. Kotel has been a place of controversy for many years due to its great significance in religious history. It is the last remaining wall of the second synagogue of Solomon, and is supposedly resting on top of the Foundation Stone where Jews believe God created the earth; thus making it the holiest place in the world. Kotel is currently split into two sections, the men’s and the women’s. This makes it impossible to hold an organized service with both men and women beyond the plaza surrounding the wall. Women of the Wall’s main focus is to obtain these rights and raise awareness of gender equality in Judaism. The conflict over Kotel has risen primarily between the two main

subcategories of Judaism, the Orthodox and the Reform synagogues. The Orthodox maintain traditional beliefs that communication between God and the Jewish people did occur and that the writings and oral history of the Jews did actually occur. On the other hand, the Reform movement, according to Orthodox Rabbi Yitzchok Feldman, “rejects that God talked to Moses in a way that was intelligible and it also says that the oral laws are not binding.” Rabbi Cartun, a Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist rabbi, is a strong supporter of Women of the Wall and is currently involved with the effort to raise awareness of the issues in Jerusalem. The congregation, along with many others across the world, is working to gather pictures of women with Torah scrolls to send to Israeli government officials protesting laws prohibiting women from reading Torah at Kotel.

On the other side of the issue, Rabbi Feldman is a strong believer in the traditional Jewish views on what a synagogue really is. According to ancient law, only men can form a

prayer group that is called a minyan. A minyan is necessary in order for a man’s prayer to be heard by God. While men need a group, a woman’s voice is heard just as well by herself or as a group. The biggest distinction is the man’s obligation to form a group. According to Rabbi Feldman the people who have that obligation have precedence. To solve this issue, it is necessary to decide whether or not Kotel is a synagogue. If Kotel is considered to be a synagogue, the rabbis and men

would have precedence over women based on traditional Jewish teachings. However Reform Jews claim that since they aren’t restricted directly by those regulations, they shouldn’t have to be mandated by a different belief system than their own. When asked what he thought the organization is trying to accomplish with this photo project, Rabbi Cartun said, “They are mostly looking for worldwide attention, even though they know that nobody on the Orthodox side is going to budge.” No matter the motives of either side, the women taking action has resulted in violence taking place at Kotel.

When asked about his ideal solution to the conflict Rabbi Feldman responded, “De-escalation. De-escalation would

result in people taking a step back and thinking about who has an obligation to be here and who is looking at it through the eyes and lenses of observation and who’s looking to make what seems to amount to a political statement.” But the steps being taken to solve the problems have been and will continue to be overshadowed by the violence at Kotel. No matter what side of the issue someone may support, it is clear that violence is not going to solve it; violence will actually prolong it. Though a solution to the issue may not be possible, Women of the Wall continues to bring attention to the issue and hope for a future compromise.

Noah Hoffman

A version of this article was published in the Mountain View High School Oracle 10/8/10

November 2010 13

Simchas

November Birthdays

11/1 Ilana Brandstetter 11/10 Mya Ballin 11/18 Brian Emberling Evan Goer Edmond Macaluso Barry Gold Scott Merritt Sheri Morrison Janis Pepper 11/2 Ellen Krasnow 11/11 Dodi Benaron 11/21 Marcus MacLeod Matt Levine Faith Brigel 11/22 Rebecca Abramowitz Dorothy Thursby Nancy Fischbein Neil Jacobson 11/3 Rachel Aufdemberge 11/12 Sharon Chen 11/23 Adam Kaplan Ariadna Kaplan Noah Gordon Victor Tracy-Cohen Lily Matlof Robert Merritt 11/24 Amy Balsom 11/4 Sarah Freier-Miller 11/13 Maxwell Sherman Marc Miller Michael Kutner Chloe Zelkha 11/25 Susan Gold 11/5 Sarah Abramowitz 11/14 Andy Robinson Emily Kennan Shelby Rachleff Leonard Tramiel Hallie Kennan 11/7 Alex Greene 11/15 Ian Jacobs Cory O'Connor Amy Greene Rachel Lysaght 11/26 Gerson Bers Eden Lauffer Robert Olson Fiona Wiesner Barry Schiffman Randall Ticknor 11/27 Barbara Clemons 11/8 Hannah Bollar 11/16 Carly O'Connor Jeremiah Cohn Rebecca Henig Sheldon Rosenblum 11/28 Beth Bergen Sari Levine Jonathan Salzedo Mark Tuschman 11/9 Ben Sneider Leo Vershel Nicole Wein 11/17 Jay Gitterman 11/30 Ilan Blech Mike Keer

******************

Welcome New Members Matt and Mar Hershenson, and their three children Isaac (3rd grade), David (1st grade), Miriam (1 year old)

live in Los Altos

Kvelling: Other Celebrations To kvell about your anniversaries, births, engagements, graduations,

successful surgery, new job or other accomplishment, send the information to office@etzchayim.org.

For 2010, as of the end of June, 129 Etz Chayim participants generated $3290.41.

Register, Renew or select AutoEARN now. Don’t forget you need to renew annual and

to keep your credit card information up to date.

November 2010 14

Donations

OPERATING FUND

Darren Kaplan and Jennifer Lowy, in honor of Mark, Ellen, Zack and Sophie Siminoff

Myra Lessner, in memory of Manuel Lessner Robert and Lucy Berman, in appreciation of Rosh haShanah Aliyah

Glen and Julie Kohl, toward reprinting of shiva books Marcia Lauffer and Stanley Rosner

Executive Committee, toward a lulav and etrog Tony and Sheryl Klein, toward Saturday morning Siddur printing costs

YAHRZEIT

Ilona Pollak, in memory of Ilona's brother, Victor Deborah Ju, in memory of Harry & Irene Shoub

Howard and Gloria Levin, in memory of Howard's father, Harry Levin Satya Reddy and Paula White-Reddy, in memory of Paula's father, Jack White

HHD REMEMBERANCE SCROLL

Bob Wolfert and Lisa Flores-Wolfert Carol Hallyn, in memory of Harry and Anne Siegel and Stanley Holtz

RABBI’S DISCRETIONARY FUND Michael Stern, in memory of Barbara

Kerry Meyer and Sheri Novack, in honor of Joe’s bar mitzvah

SAVE THE MUSIC

Eve Klein and David Cohen

IN KIND Celia Aufdemberge, two reams of copy paper

MEMORIAL GROVE LEAVES

Jordan Gruber, Gail Slocum and Mitch Slomiak, in memory of Saul Slomiak

David Findley, in memory of Miriam Findley Susan Slater and Evan Kirshenbaum,

in memory of Gene Slater

MARGIE BAKER CONCERT SERIES Preeva and Leonard Tramiel

Would you like to make a contribution? Here’s how: Donating to Congregation Etz Chayim! Donations will be applied to the Operating Fund unless otherwise specified.

November 2010 15

Sponsor a Shabbat morning siddur for Etz Chayim:

Be a Charter Sponsor!

Reasons why you would sponsor a Shabbat Morning Siddur:

To commemorate a Bar/t Mitzvah To show appreciation to someone special To honor a Bar/t class To thank your child’s teachers To remember a loved one To honor someone for the holidays or a birthday Or ‘just because’ you feel like sponsoring a Siddur

When you Sponsor a Siddur, a personalized bookplate will be placed in the newly published Shabbat Morning Siddur and the honoree will receive a certificate as a keepsake. If you order before the Siddurs are printed (scheduled for fall 2010), you will be a Charter Sponsor and your bookplate will be printed directly in the Siddur. Bookplate orders received after printing will be affixed to the Siddur. Remember, when you Sponsor a Siddur, it is a tax-deductible donation to Etz Chayim. (Tax ID#77-0393362)

Order Form

Check occasion: Complete the information as it will appear on the Bookplate:

/ / Bar/t Mitzvah Name_________________________________________________ Bar/t Date________________ / / Bar/t Class Bar/t Class of (Year)_______________________ / / In honor of Name_____________________________________________ / / In loving memory of Name_____________________________________________Relationship____________________ / / Other Name _____________________________________________

Sponsor ______________________________________________________Phone___________Email_____________________ Address __________________________________________________City_____________________State_____ Zip__________ ___Check if a Certificate should be sent to Honoree or Family of the Deceased and indicate the name and address: Name ___________________________________________________________________ Phone ______________________ Address __________________________________________________City_____________________State_____ Zip__________

Sponsor a Siddur is $54 per Siddur. Make checks payable to Congregation Etz Chayim and mail to: Congregation Etz Chayim, 4161 Alma Street, Palo Alto, CA 94306

The bookplate and acknowledgement certificates will be processed once payment is received.

Quantity _______ Amount Paid______________ Date Rec’d___________

Congregation Etz Chayim

This Siddur

has been sponsored by

Sponsor’s Name

in honor of

Honoree

becoming a Bar Mitzvah

on June 13, 2009

November 2010 16

Yahrzeits Heshvan

November 1, 2010 Heshvan 24, 5771 Louis Cabiale, grandfather of John Ammirati November 2, 2010 Heshvan 25, 5771 Joseph Beck, father of Deborah Rosenberg Max Goldspinner, father of Linda Wittlin November 3, 2010 Heshvan 26, 5771 Jack Carpien, father of Cindy Carpien Leon Herrup, grandfather of Lisa Rogers November 5, 2010 Heshvan 28, 5771 David Goldspinner, brother of Linda Wittlin November 6, 2010 Heshvan 29, 5771 Morris Gitterman, father of Jay Gitterman Adele Rich, grandmother of Rachel Roth Joseph Siegel, father of Shelley Ash Harry Kinderlehrer, father of Robert Kinderlehrer

Kislev

November 10, 2010 Kislev 3, 5771 Evelyn Friedman, grandmother of Deborah Ju Harold Margolis, father of Amy Margolis November 11 2010 Kislev 4 5771 Kunio Takaba, grandfather of Terri Yamamoto November 12, 2010 Kislev 5, 5771 Karen Brownstein, wife of Neill Brownstein

Kislev November 12, 2010 Kislev 5, 5771 Sherman Podell, father of Arlene Podell-Barr Frances Scherz, mother of Deborah Rose November 15, 2010 Kislev 8, 5771 Max Fox, grandfather of Michael Fredericson Harry Siegel, father of Carol Hallyn November 17, 2010 Kislev 10, 5771 Barbara Balsom, mother of Amy Balsom November 22, 2010 Kislev 15, 5771 Henry G. Bernhardt, father of Jessica Bernhardt Ben Rosenberg, brother of Deborah Rosenberg November 24, 2010 Kislev 17, 5771 Marjorie Bayersdorfer, mother of Amy Bayersdorfer Lev Schwartz, father of Teri Blumenfeld November 25, 2010 Kislev 18, 5771 Max Borkin, grandfather of Kaaren Powers November 27, 2010 Kislev 20, 5771 Gabriel Lehrer, father of Monica Stone Saul Slomiak, father of Mitch Slomiak November 29, 2010 Kislev 22, 5771 Isadore Friedman, father of Ira Friedman November 30, 2010 Kislev 23, 5771 Morris Brownstein, father of Neil Brownstein Emanuel Goldstein, father of Ted Goldstein

November 2010 17

November 2010 / Heshvan-Kislev 5771

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 1 24 Heshvan 2 25 Heshvan 3 26 Heshvan 4 27 Heshvan 5 27 Heshvan 6 29 Heshvan

7:30 pm Tweens Sexuality Workshop with Sooze Protter

4-6 pm Shorashim 6:30-8:30 pm Tichon

7-11 pm Tango Class

7-8:30 pm Chanting Class

6 pm Shabbat Dinner 7:30 pm Shabbat

Service, led by Karen Bergen and John Kaplan

9a m Torah Study 10 am Contemplative Service 10 am Shabbat Service, led by Jonathan

Salzedo

7 30 Heshvan 8 1 Kislev 9 2 Kislev 10 3 Kislev 11 4 Kislev 12 5 Kislev 13 6 Kislev

Daylight Savings Time Ends 9:30 am–12: pm Shorashim 10:15 am -12:15 pm Z’ra’im 10:15 am -12:15 pm It’s a Girl Thing –

6t, , 7th, 8th Grades 10:15 am Adult Ed – Ketubbot and Art 7 pm Board Meeting

7:30 pm Parenting Tweens Workshop with Sooze Protter

6:30 pm Film Club – Sallach Shabbati

7:30 pm Design Committee Meeting

7:30 pm Rabbinic Resource Committee Mtg

4-6 pm Shorashim 6:30-8:30 pm Tichon

Veteran’s Day 7-11 pm Tango

Class 7-8:30 pm

Chanting Class

4:15-5:30pm Wall Street Journal Tour

6 pm Moadon Shabbat Dinner

7:30 pm Shabbat Service

9 am Torah Study 10 am Shabbat Service

14 7 Kislev 15 8 Kislev 16 9 Kislev 17 10 Kislev 18 11 Kislev 19 12 Kislev 20 13 Kislev

9:30 am–12 pm Shorashim 10 am–12 pm MiDor l’Dor 11 am-3 pm Holiday Boutique

6 pm IDEO Tour 7:30 pm Finance Committee Meeting

7:30 pm Executive Committee Meeting

7:30 pm Religious Practices Comm. Meeting

4-6 pm Shorashim 6:30-8:30 pm Tichon

7-11 pm Tango Class

7-8:30 pm Chanting Class

7:30 pm Shabbat Service

9 am Torah Study 10 am Shabbat Service led by Erica Ammirati 7 pm Tango Milonga Dance

21 14 Kislev 22 15 Kislev 23 16 Kislev 24 17 Kislev 25 18 Kislev 26 19 Kislev 27 20 Kislev5

9:30 am-12 pm 4th Grade Mishpacha Day 9:30 am–12 pm Shorashim 10 am–12 pm MiDor l’Dor 10:30 am-12 pm People of the Books 12:15-2:30 pm Immun 1:00–3:30 pm Bar/t Mitzvah Family Class 4 pm New Member Tea Men’s Group (TBD)

No Religious School Thanksgiving Day Office Closed

Office Closed 7:30 pm Shabbat

Service-lay led

9 am Torah Study-lay led 10 am Shabbat Service-lay led 2 pm Eagle Scout Ceremony

28 21 Kislev 29 22 Kislev 30 23 Kislev

No Religious School 7:30 pm Handworkers Gathering