connecting in your

classroom> 18 Teachers Tell How They Foster the Relationships

That Lead to Student Success

Starkman

> connecting in your classroomsearch in

stitute

> stories > secrets > strategies

Neal Starkman, Ph.D.

if you want to be remembered as the best teacher they ever had . . .

It takes more than knowing your subject and teaching it well. The teachers who excel, the ones who are remembered and whose students come back to visit them year after year, also make strong, empowering connections with their students.

In Connecting in Your Classroom, Neal Starkman reveals both the humanity and the professional secrets of “gold star” K–12 teachers from across the United States. The eighteeninspiring, moving profiles are organized around five key attributes:

> trusting: All these teachers are expert at assessing their students’ strengths, providing students with appropriate support and challenges, and trusting them with the responsibilities that will lead them to reach their potential.

> engaging: All these teachers motivate their students through varied teaching styles,knowledge of each student’s individual interests and talents, and continual relating of the curriculum to students’ lives outside the classroom.

> asset building: All these teachers intentionally focus on increasing the students’ levels of Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and opportunities that young people need to become caring, healthy, responsible adults.

> caring: These teachers genuinely care about each and every student; they nurture them, value them, and believe in them.

> hardworking: These teachers are all dedicated to building relationships with their students, providing supportive environments, and establishing liaisons with students’families and the greater community.

The voices of these teachers, as well as students, parents, and colleagues, illustrate the authenticity and e≠ectiveness of the teachers’ methods and techniques through descriptions of their everyday interactions with students and their curricula. All teachers have the potential to foster the strong relationships with students that lead to student—and teacher— success. For experienced and new teachers, this powerful book brings both organization and inspiration to the task of connecting in your classroom.

education/teaching

product number 858

Connecting_full cover_3 11/22/05 3:01 PM Page 1

Connecting in Your Classroom18 Teachers Tell How They Foster the ≤elationships That Lead to Student Success

Neal Starkman, Ph.D.Copyright © 2006 by Search Institute

Search InstituteSM and Developmental AssetsTM

are trademarks of Search Institute.

All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced in any manner, mechanical or electronic, without prior permission from thepublisher except in brief quotations or summaries in articles or reviews, or as individual activity sheetsfor educational use only. For additional permission,write to Permissions at Search Institute.

At the time of publication, all facts and figures citedherein are the most current available; all telephonenumbers, addresses, and Web site U≤Ls are accu-rate and active; all publications, organizations, Websites, and other resources exist as described in thisbook; and all e≠orts have been made to verify them.The author and Search Institute make no warrantyor guarantee concerning the information and mate-rials given out by organizations or content found at Web sites that are cited herein, and we are notresponsible for any changes that occur after thisbook’s publication. If you find an error or believethat a resource listed herein is not as described,please contact Client Services at Search Institute.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1Printed on acid-free paper in the United States of America .

Search Institute615 First Avenue Northeast, Suite 125Minneapolis, MN 55413www.search-institute.org612-376-8955 • 800-888-7828

creditseditors: ≤uth Taswell, Kay Hong,

Marcie DiPietro ≤oumanbook design: Cathy Spengler Designproduction coordinator: Mary Ellen Buscher

library of congress cataloging-in-publication dataStarkman, Neal.

Connecting in your classroom : 18 teachers tell how they foster the relationships that lead to student success / Neal Starkman.

p. cm.ISBN 1-57482-858-4 (pbk. : alk. paper)1. E≠ective teaching. 2. Teacher-student relationships. 3. Adolescent psychology. I. Title.

LB1025.3.S733 2006371.102’3—dc22

2005028435ISBN-13: 978-1-57482-858-0ISBN-10: 1-57482-858-4

about search instituteSearch Institute is an independent, nonprofit, non-sectarian organization whose mission is to provideleadership, knowledge, and resources to promotehealthy children, youth, and communities. Theinstitute collaborates with others to promote long-term organizational and cultural change that sup-ports its mission. For a free information packet, call 800-888-7828.

about the authorNeal Starkman, Ph.D., has developed programs in drug education, HIV/AIDS prevention, violenceprevention, and peer helping. He has written anumber of books for Search Institute, includingGreat Places to Learn: How Asset-Building SchoolsHelp Students Succeed (1999), Ideas That Cook:Activities for Asset Builders in School Communities(2001), and Hey, Coach! Positive Di≠erences YouCan Make for Young People in Sports (2004). Starkman holds a Ph.D. in social psychology.

To Aunt Gloria, still my favorite teacher

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contents

introduction great teachers v

trusting teachers 1Trusting teachers empathize with their students, give their students responsibilities, challenge them, and give up control.

engaging teachers 29Engaging teachers make the curriculum interesting; relate it to students’ lives; involve students’ peers, family, and community; and allow students to be themselves.

asset-building teachers 59Asset-building teachers incorporate Developmental Assets into the school curriculum, into the school environment, and into the community environment.

caring teachers 83Caring teachers nurture, value, and believe in students.

hardworking teachers 103Hardworking teachers build connections with students, throughout the school, and throughout the community.

teachers unite! 123

list of great teachers 129

acknowledgments 132

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introduction great teachers

which do you remember more from school—class work or teachers?assignments or friendships? tests or feelings of safety and support

(or fear and discomfort)? When you have a good relationship with ateacher—or other adult at school—you feel better and you do better.

The things that matter are found between the lines, outside thebooks, and beneath the surface. The things that matter are found inwhat the teachers in this book do every day of the year.

Here, you’ll meet some great teachers—teachers you’ll probably wishyou had when you were going to school. (Who knows? Maybe some ofthem were your teachers when you were going to school.) Not only dothese teachers know their content areas, not only do they communicateknowledge and skills in an exemplary fashion, but these teachers alsomake their students—all their students—feel special. These are teacherswho consider their students as thinking, feeling, growing, complex indi-viduals with simple needs: to be listened to, respected, appreciated,trusted, encouraged, and loved. These needs may be simple, but they’reevidently not easily met; otherwise, the teachers in this book would bethe rule and not the exception.

What can be learned from these teachers? After all, they’re vastlydi≠erent from each other. They come from di≠erent backgrounds,entered the teaching profession for di≠erent reasons, work with di≠er-ent ages and socioeconomic classes of students from all over the country,belong to di≠erent-sized schools, and have di≠erent styles, both in theclassroom and out. But despite their di≠erences, these educators have a lot in common.

All these teachers possess five qualities that make them paragons of their field. Each of these qualities is described below. More in-depthexamples appear throughout the rest of the book.

v

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vi connecting in your classroom

1. All these teachers are trusting. They seek to empathize as much as possible with their students so that they can assess the stu-dents’ strengths. They believe that assigning responsibilities totheir students—at whatever age—is a good thing, and they chal-lenge students to reach or exceed their potential. These teachersdon’t have a strong need to control everything that goes on intheir classrooms; they’d prefer that their students take over whenthey’re ready.

2. All these teachers are engaging. They motivate their students tolearn. They vary their pedagogy so that everyone, regardless oflearning style, is involved. These teachers engage their students in a number of ways, but they regularly relate the curriculum tostudents’ lives—inside and outside the classroom. These teachers’students want to come to class every day.

3. All these teachers are asset building. All of them incorporateDevelopmental Assets into their approach and into their curricu-lum. They provide an asset-rich environment in which their stu-dents thrive—in the classroom and throughout the entire schoolcommunity. Their intentional focus on the assets results in a per-vasively positive culture that the students participate in and maketheir own.

4. All these teachers are caring. This was emphasized—and evinced—more than any other quality by every teacher in this book. Theseteachers care what happens to each and every one of their stu-dents. They build relationships, they become involved in theirstudents’ lives, and they never take students for granted. Theynurture them, value them, and believe in them.

5. All these teachers are hardworking. They spend virtually everyminute building relationships with their students, providing sup-portive environments, and establishing liaisons with students’families and the greater community—to say nothing of orderingsupplies, filling out report cards, and writing grant applications.And some of these teachers are doing all that in addition to

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viiintroduction

attending extracurricular activities, coordinating after-school projects, chaperoning field trips, coaching sports, and facilitatingdiscussion groups.

So: Great teachers are Trusting, Engaging, Asset building, Caring,and Hardworking; that is, they TEACH.

Learning about each of these teachers can help other teachersaccomplish two very important goals. One goal is to identify and adaptstrategies that build Developmental Assets as well as meet academicobjectives. (For more information on Developmental Assets, see pageix.) These strategies range from having first-grade students read aloudto their peers (Peggy Allen does that) to helping fifth-grade studentsstart and run their own store (Kathi Swanson does that) to organizing a senior-facilitated orientation for incoming first-year high school stu-dents (Mark Hendrix does that).

The other goal is more subtle. It has more to do with personalitythan with curriculum, more to do with relationships than with home-work, and more to do with environment than with testing. You can helpyour students thrive by building and maintaining strong relationshipswith each of them and by providing an environment in your classroom,in your school, and in your greater community that gives young peoplean opportunity to reach their highest potential.

the teachers in this bookSome of the teachers interviewed for this book say that since becomingaware of the importance of Developmental Assets and focusing onbuilding them, they’ve spent more time trying to connect with students.They invariably note that that time is well worth it, because it connectsthem with why they became teachers in the first place: to have a positiveimpact on young people.

Other teachers say that since becoming aware of the importance of assets and focusing on building them, they’ve actually saved time,because they’re disciplining less, they’re micromanaging less, and they’re

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> Kids are people, too.

kathi swanson

rust takes on many forms in teaching. At its most basic, it’s giving

students responsibility because you know they’ll benefit from the

experience, no matter what the outcome. The four teachers presented

in this section are varied in their backgrounds, in their approaches, and

in the circumstances of their school communities. Michael Walsh, Susie

Edwards, and Kathi Swanson teach in communities that present serious

socioeconomic challenges; Susan Cressey does not. Kathi and Susan knew

from a very early age that they wanted to become teachers; Michael and

Susie became teachers in part because they struggled in school. Michael

and Susan facilitate formal asset-building programs in their schools;

Susie and Kathi do not.

But all four teachers share at least one thing: the ability and desire to

trust their students. Each of these teachers builds assets for and with their

trustingteachers

1

t

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2 connecting in your classroom

students by forming relationships; and at the core of those relationships

is trust.

As you read about these four teachers, think about how they not

only place trust in their students but also show that trust—because it’s

important for students to know that they’re trusted and that they’ve been

given responsibility. Think about the ways you place trust in your stu-

dents and how you show that trust. Ask yourself: “Can I empathize with

students? Can I give them more responsibilities? Can I continue to chal-

lenge them? Can I give up more control? Can I find other ways to trust?”

> > >

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3trusting teachers

t rusting teachers empathize with students. What in your backgroundpredisposes you to trust or not trust others, particularly students?

When you were a student, were you trusted? Somewhere along the way,you’ve no doubt discovered that empathizing is a necessary first step toestablishing a trusting relationship with anyone. When you can under-stand a person’s behavior, take into account the person’s backgroundand history—their strengths, pressures, experiences, hopes, and tempta-tions—it’s a lot easier to gauge the level of trust to place in that person.The trust isn’t blind; it’s based on what you know. Teachers who canempathize with their students have more confidence in placing trust inthose students.

michael walsh> grades 5 and 6> ursa major elementary school, fort richardson, ak

Some people know from the outset that they’re going to grow up to beteachers. They set their sights on education. They go straight to collegeand get their teaching credentials, and immediately afterward theybegin teaching in a school.

Other people find their calling by a di≠erent route.Although his father and many of his relatives are educators, Michael

didn’t initially have a drive to become an educator himself—in fact, hehated school. He had little desire to learn, to excel academically, or to payattention; he was paddled often. In seventh grade, his father—the prin-cipal of the elementary school across the street—had him come over tothe elementary school to teach children with Down’s syndrome to swim.It was Michael’s first teaching experience. When he was 18, he began aseries of alternative careers—ocean lifeguard, whitewater kayak guide,ski shop manager. Only a friend’s (a retired teacher) sitting him downand forcing him to apply to college furthered his formal education.

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4 connecting in your classroom

Astonishingly, Michael claims that he hardly read a book until he was28. When he completed graduate school at the ripe old age of 31, he and afriend went to Alaska to climb and to get jobs as mountain or river guides.He ended up managing a private airstrip in the Alaska ≤ange. At the ageof 35, he met the woman who would become his wife. They decided to set-tle down in Alaska, and Michael began looking for substitute-teachingjobs, principally in special education—something, at least, with which hehad experience. That first summer of marriage (his seventh summer inAlaska), he worked with the “On Target” program for emotionally dis-turbed children. That fall, Michael landed his current job at Ursa MajorElementary School, in Fort ≤ichardson, Alaska, an army base.

Ironically, this checkered educational background gave Michael thetools to empathize with his students. He hadn’t been a great student. Hehadn’t liked school. He hadn’t grasped for school curriculum knowledge.So when Michael sees young people ill-prepared for “Life After School,”he understands them. And understanding them paves the way to estab-lish a trusting relationship.

In 1999, Michael attended a training in which students from Alaska’sremote bush communities talked about the importance of Develop-mental Assets in their lives. The concept attracted him, and he thoughtabout how he could begin building assets in his own community. Heconcluded: “I’m going to keep it simple. The only way that this is goingto be successful is if it’s going to be self-motivating.” He came up with a logo and began recruiting “asset ambassadors.”

Michael asked teachers to choose students who could help out beforeand after school, who would welcome visitors and give tours during theday. Ursa Major now has asset ambassadors from the fifth and sixthgrades. Michael also has the goal of student asset ambassadors trainingparents to be adult asset ambassadors.

Think of that: Fifth- and sixth-grade students are welcoming visitors;fifth- and sixth-grade students are training adults. Some schools wouldn’tgive students such responsibility. Some adults would say that 9-, 10-, and11-year-olds are not su≠iciently mature to be tour guides or trainers. But

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5trusting teachers

Michael, along with Principal Meg Marman and others, trusts that with proper guidance, these students will do just fine. And so they do.

Each month, Michael and his students choose a DevelopmentalAsset to focus on and build throughout the school community. They furnish an “asset wall” with the names of the asset ambassadors andnews about assets. In his classroom, Michael talks about goal setting,family influences, and drugs. He reinforces the positive decisions stu-dents are making daily and illustrates how all decisions, good or bad,have import for the future. If, for example, a student is choosing not to use self-control in school, then Michael points out that that studentmight not use self-control when confronted with a decision whether or not to smoke or drink.

In short, Michael places trust in students on an individual level; it’s a basic pedagogical shift that most teachers who teach social skillse≠ectively know plenty about. They know that in order for students touse the skills—for showing restraint, for resisting peer pressure, forresolving conflicts peacefully—the students need to do much more thanmemorize the steps. They have to take the responsibility to own theskills, to adapt them to their own situations, and to be motivated to usethem in the appropriate circumstances.

It’s the same with any knowledge and skills: By placing trust in stu-dents’ abilities and by giving them the tools to use those abilities, Michaelhelps build assets such as ≤esponsibility, Planning and Decision Making,≤esistance Skills, and Personal Power. He recruits students to spreadthe word about assets, and he continually emphasizes to all his studentsthe significance of their decisions.

These teaching methods depend, though, on Michael empathizingwith his students, on his understanding of their lives. That’s why he putsa priority on making the assets real for students. He asks them, “Howmany of you think you’d be able to work a job, a real job?” Most studentsraise their hands. But then Michael talks about having to work eighthours a day—day in, day out. If you slack o≠, he says, you get fired.Michael tells his students:

Connecting_3 11/22/05 7:14 PM Page 5

connecting in your

classroom> 18 Teachers Tell How They Foster the Relationships

That Lead to Student Success

Starkman

> connecting in your classroomsearch in

stitute

> stories > secrets > strategies

Neal Starkman, Ph.D.

if you want to be remembered as the best teacher they ever had . . .

It takes more than knowing your subject and teaching it well. The teachers who excel, the ones who are remembered and whose students come back to visit them year after year, also make strong, empowering connections with their students.

In Connecting in Your Classroom, Neal Starkman reveals both the humanity and the professional secrets of “gold star” K–12 teachers from across the United States. The eighteeninspiring, moving profiles are organized around five key attributes:

> trusting: All these teachers are expert at assessing their students’ strengths, providing students with appropriate support and challenges, and trusting them with the responsibilities that will lead them to reach their potential.

> engaging: All these teachers motivate their students through varied teaching styles,knowledge of each student’s individual interests and talents, and continual relating of the curriculum to students’ lives outside the classroom.

> asset building: All these teachers intentionally focus on increasing the students’ levels of Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and opportunities that young people need to become caring, healthy, responsible adults.

> caring: These teachers genuinely care about each and every student; they nurture them, value them, and believe in them.

> hardworking: These teachers are all dedicated to building relationships with their students, providing supportive environments, and establishing liaisons with students’families and the greater community.

The voices of these teachers, as well as students, parents, and colleagues, illustrate the authenticity and e≠ectiveness of the teachers’ methods and techniques through descriptions of their everyday interactions with students and their curricula. All teachers have the potential to foster the strong relationships with students that lead to student—and teacher— success. For experienced and new teachers, this powerful book brings both organization and inspiration to the task of connecting in your classroom.

education/teaching

product number 858

Connecting_full cover_3 11/22/05 3:01 PM Page 1