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    Conflicts & NegotiationsConflicts & Negotiations

    AHRMAHRM

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    What is conflict?What is conflict?

    It is a process that begins when one

    party perceives that another partyhas negatively affected, or is about to

    negatively affect, something that the

    first party cares about

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    Why do we go through conflicts?Why do we go through conflicts?

    As long as there is life, there will always

    be conflicts to resolve.

    Conflicts arise as people differ in how theyperceive reality and differ in terms of

    interests and goals.

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    Resolving conflictsResolving conflicts

    Resolving conflicts can be mentally

    exhausting and emotionally draining

    The important point is to manage theconflict, not to suppress it and not to let it

    escalate out of control.

    Conflict should be used as a critical aspect

    of creativity and motivation.

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    There are 4 stages forconflictThere are 4 stages forconflict

    Stage one: mild discussion hoping to reach apleasurable solution (those who talk are the onesinvolved) no heated arguments

    Stage two: emotional outbursts, and booming voices-this stage involves loss in time and dignity if unresolvedmay lead to stage three.

    Third stage: solutions here call forsome compromiseon principles. It can revert to stage two however it couldescalate into a breakdown of the situation leading topermanent strife between parties

    Forth stage: expensive stage. Going to court. We needto keep ourselves in stage one or two.

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    Responses to conflictResponses to conflict

    Competition: Distributive (win-lose) bargaining

    Satisfying your needs is important; satisfying the othersneed isnt important to you.

    Collaboration: Integrative (win-win) Satisfying both your needs and the others is important

    Compromising: Satisfying both your needs and theothers are moderately important

    Avoiding: You are indifferent about satisfying eitheryour needs or the others needs; no action is likely

    Accommodating: simply yielding it doe not matter toyou and it matters to the other person.

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    What is negotiation?What is negotiation?

    Negotiation is a process of trying to makeopposing parties come to a middle groundwhere they can meet eye-to-eye, talkabout theirconflicts in a better light, andaspire fora win-win resolution to conflicts.

    The word negotiate comes from the Latinword;

    NEG meaning not and OTIO Leisure

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    Successful NegotiationsSuccessful Negotiations

    It starts off assuming collaborative orwin-win negotiation. Most good negotiators will

    try fora win-win oraim at a situation

    where both sides feel they won.Negotiations tend to go much better if

    both sides perceive they are in a win-winsituation or both sides approach the

    negotiation wanting to create value orsatisfy both their own needs and the

    others needs

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    Rational Vs Emotional componentsRational Vs Emotional components

    of Negotiationof Negotiation

    All negotiations involve two levels: a

    rational decision making ( substantive)

    process and a psychological (emotional

    process).

    The failure of two people to reach the

    optimal resolution orbest alternative

    stems from intangible factors such aspsychological factors

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    Psychological factorsPsychological factors

    How comfortable each feels about conflict

    How each perceives or-misperceives the other

    The assumptions eachmakes about the other

    and the problem

    The attitudes and expectations about the other

    The decisions eachmakes about trust, about

    how important winning is, how important it is toavoid conflict, how much one likes ordislikes the

    other, how important it is to not look foolish

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    Failure to understand theFailure to understand the

    psychological processpsychological process

    Failure to understand these psychological

    needs and issues is at the root ofmost

    unsuccessful negotiations. Because of

    norms in most organizations discourage

    open expression of negative personal

    feelings. People will often drum up

    disagreements on trivial issues to providejustification foran emotional conflict with

    another

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    The most important kind ofThe most important kind of

    bargainingbargaining

    Distributive( win-lose)

    (also called competitive, zero sum, win-lose orclaiming value)

    vs.

    Integrative (win-win) (collaborative, win-win orcreating value)

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    Distributive (zeroDistributive (zero--sum, winsum, win--lose)lose)

    In this kind of bargaining one side winsand one side loses.

    Dominant strategies in this mode includemanipulation, forcing, and withholding

    information.

    This version is also called claiming value

    since the goal in this type of situation is toincrease yourown value and decreaseyouropponents

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    Integrative (collaboration, winIntegrative (collaboration, win--win)win)

    Both sides can win. The main concern

    here is to maximize joint outcomes.

    Dominant strategies in this mode includecooperation, sharing information, and

    mutual problem solving.

    creating value since the goal here is to

    have both sides leave the negotiatingfeeling theyhad greatervalue than before.

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    Critical points in integrativeCritical points in integrative

    bargainingbargaining

    Be clearon what is important to you

    Separate people from the problem

    Emphasize win-win solution

    Focus on interests, not positions Create options formutual gain

    Aim foran outcome be based on some objectivestandard

    Consider the otherparts situation Know yourBATNA (best alternative to a

    negotiated alternative.

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    The most common failureThe most common failure

    The most common failure is the failure of

    negotiating parties to recognize (orsearch

    for) the integrative potential in a

    negotiating problem

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    Otherelements that affectOtherelements that affect

    negotiationnegotiation

    Intangibles that are key factors in manynegotiations:

    1. Personalities:

    understanding yourself is an importantfactor(such as yourown needs andinterpersonal style)

    How muchyou trust the person How free are you withyouremotion

    How muchyou want to conceal orreveal

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    ContdContd

    2. Physical space:

    Where the negotiation takes place can beimportant are we negotiating in a spacewe are uncomfortable with and the other iscomfortable?

    3. Past interaction:

    if there is a history of conflict resolutionwith the person, think about the historythat might affect the upcoming negotiation

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    ContdContd

    4. Time pressure:

    Think about whether time pressure willaffect the negotiation and whetheryouneed to try to change this variable?

    5. Subjective utility:

    Be aware that people place very different

    values on elements of a negotiation ( youhave to find out what is valued is one ofthe key factors of negotiation

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    Your job as a champion negotiatorYour job as a champion negotiator

    Your job is to settle things outof court and without violence.

    A champion negotiator is theadvocate to represent an

    opposing party. They try to getleverage or better terms in the

    negotiations

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    What sets champion negotiatorsWhat sets champion negotiators

    from the rest?from the rest? They create win-win situation.

    They aim to win at the negotiating table, with theopposing party still smiling and broadly feeling that theyhave also won.

    They are: reasonable.

    practical,

    not too emotional,

    knowledgeable about the issues involved,

    not given to violence, open-minded,

    firm in theirprinciples.

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    What is a winWhat is a win--win situation?win situation?

    Two ormore parties COMMUNICATE to reach

    an AGREEMENT in which all parties feel their

    NEEDS are satisfied and all parties are

    COMMITTED to follow through, based on afoundation of common and opposing

    INTERESTS, and aimed at maintaining or

    enhancing the RELATIONSHIP.

    Win-win is an attitude not an

    outcome.

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    When negotiation meetsWhen negotiation meets

    persuasionpersuasion

    Negotiation involves reaching a win-winagreement where both parties walk away feelingtheyhave won.

    In persuasion: it is the art of getting people togo along withyourpoint of view. You simply getpeople to see it yourway.

    One best way to persuade others is withyourears-by listening to them.

    Negotiation involves persuasion, persuasion involves negotiation

    both thrive on open communication

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    The message and the peopleThe message and the people

    involvedinvolved

    The message contains the groups main

    points. The negotiatormust not only be

    able to express the message ,but also

    embody it.

    The negotiatorand the client must be clear

    and unified on the message that they want

    to convey.

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    Negotiators carrying a messageNegotiators carrying a message

    1. The message represents the desires

    of both parties and the object of

    negotiation

    2. Based on principle that you believe

    in (your deep intellectual and emotional

    belief strengthens the message

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    ContdContd

    3. Yourmessage must be clearin your

    mind before it becomes clear in anothers

    mind. Truth has a way in presenting itself.

    4. Truthhas a built-in mechanism that

    leads to an organized presentation

    5. Safe and tested (delivera message

    that is fitting to common standards of

    soundness and good reason.

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    ContdContd

    6. Concise yet solid: deliverthe notion

    that you cant be stopped no matterwhat,

    so they will take you seriously and listen to

    what you have to say.

    Combination of confidence, seriousness

    and determination

    7. straight to the point: The more words

    ,the less the meaning.

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    Personalities across the negotiatingPersonalities across the negotiating

    tabletable

    The child negotiator

    The adult negotiator

    The parent negotiator

    The good negotiator

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    The child negotiatorThe child negotiator

    He/she tends to simplify everything

    He is prone to dishing out instant

    recommendations providing short-termsolutions. And disdains long drawn-out

    procedures.

    When further investigation is called for, he

    backs out and is the first one to cry foul.

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    The adult negotiatorThe adult negotiator

    Takes on a seeminglymature outlook.

    He/she can not tolerate anything

    immature ,often at odds with the child

    negotiator. Can be trusted withhis

    judgments ,but would nevercommit to

    anything beyond being a negotiator.

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    The parent negotiatorThe parent negotiator

    He is fond of lecturing, scolding and givingimpulsive advice.

    He thinks he is in control of the situation

    He thinks he is there to be listened to. he believes he has the wisdom and the last

    word to say. He treats others as children. he isoften a difficult person to be with. he acts as if

    he knows everything, but in realityhe is oftenlost and confused about the actual events takenplace.

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    The good negotiatorThe good negotiator

    He is a combination of all the positive

    sides of all of the above.

    Humble, teachable and willing to listen asa child,

    firm as an adult, and sure of what he

    stands for.

    He wants to end things happily, with

    everybody being a winner.

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    A winning message must agreeA winning message must agree

    with the right contextwith the right context

    Context within a:

    1. Person context

    2. Time context

    3. place context

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    Person contextPerson context

    A. Mature negotiator) Is he mature enough ifso, you have the issue half-solved.

    B. Level of understanding: design yourmessage to the opposing sides ability tounderstand.

    C. Tolerance: resolving conflict is rarely aboutwho is right ,its about acknowledgement andappreciation of differences. Tolerance is

    readiness to accept differences. D. Emotional stability: difficult to negotiate withsomeone affected by the situation. Whenemotions are subsided you sayyourpiece.

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    Time contextTime context

    When exactly did the conflict start?

    If fordecades, then people are simply notinterested in putting an end to it.

    You have to think twice before youchoose to stand up foran age-long issue.

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    Place contextPlace context

    The virtue of being truthful will work

    wonders. truthhas the built-in feature of

    settling in the minds of people.

    Ifyou dont want someone to ask for

    something you can not offerdont lead

    them to that area of discussion.

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    How to become a championHow to become a champion

    negotiatornegotiator

    1. Developing a charisma

    2. Effective preparation

    3. Developing communication andpersuasion skills.

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    Ways of developing an awesomeWays of developing an awesome

    charisma.charisma.

    How do you project awesome charisma?

    Improve your handshake; make people feel

    good and secured when they shake yourhand.

    Keep smiling: ifhe smiles back, keep smiling

    longer fora few seconds.

    Address your counterpart by their name

    (a name is the sweetest music in a personsears.)

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    ContdContd

    Examine yourself in the mirror( how are

    you dressed up.

    Be interested in other peopleshobbies, activities and other interests.

    Develop a great sense of humor.

    Exert effort to make everyone you meetfeel exceptional

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    ContdContd

    Tilt your head slightly: it is a basic bodylanguage skill that shows whether theperson is paying attention , it means he is

    listening carefully. Establish instant rapport, think of people

    as nice ,people you would like to know

    Be generous in giving complimentsfrom the heart, it makes people happy.

    Be aware of peoples emotions

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    Common sense strategies inCommon sense strategies in

    effective preparationeffective preparation

    Be clearin what you want.

    Foresee the otherpartys

    Study what the other party wants andpoints that they consideras nonnegotiable

    Avoid negotiating stances that others

    might find offensive and inflexible. Focus on the solution

    Have an exit strategy

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    Simple ways toSimple ways to meltmelt the hardthe hard--lineline

    position of the opposite camp.position of the opposite camp.

    M: make a connection by smiling and an

    open posture

    E: eye contact you establish a bond by ahandshake and an eye contact.

    L: Lean forward, this conveys agreement

    and appreciation of views expressed

    T: touch ,it establishes the necessary

    action ( MELT)

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    Developing communication andDeveloping communication and

    persuasion skillspersuasion skills

    1. No one wants to be perceived as wrong:

    Nevergive the impression that the opposing

    partyhas the monopoly over the wrong ideas.

    2. Incorporate your own idea to their: allow

    them to take credit foryour ideas.

    3. Be polite: dont use harsh words

    4.Think before you speak: it may damage therelationship ifyou dont

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    Know YourHot ButtonsKnow YourHot Buttons

    Exercise: List the last 3 times you felt someone pressedyour Hot Button.

    Subject

    discussed

    Who pushed

    your

    buttons?

    Why did you feel

    manipulated?

    Next time I

    will..