conflicts & conversations

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Preston McCauley @uidesignguide uidesignguide.com clearsitedesigns.com prestonmccauley.com Ways To Reach Me: Conflict & Conversations Conversation: A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people. Monday, June 18, 12

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Presentation given at Big Design 2012. Inside we take a look at preparing to have difficult conversations. Take a look at a one simple method to help get your emotions under control when you are in the heat of battle.

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Conflicts & Conversations

Preston McCauley

@uidesignguide uidesignguide.comclearsitedesigns.com prestonmccauley.com

Ways To Reach Me:

Conflict & ConversationsConversation: A Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.

Monday, June 18, 12

Page 2: Conflicts & Conversations

What Will We Explore?

■ What Am I About?

■ The Impact of Conversational Problems

■ A Look Into Conversations

■ Behaviors To Practice

■ Key Reminders

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Page 3: Conflicts & Conversations

PracticePractice, Practice, Practice

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Page 4: Conflicts & Conversations

The Impact of Conversational Problems

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Page 5: Conflicts & Conversations

Impact : Stress

■ Pain & Suffering

■ Lower Energy Levels

■ Uncontrollable Feelings

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■ According To: AMA © 2012 American Heart Association, Inc.

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Page 6: Conflicts & Conversations

6Impact: Motivational Loss

■ “Why bother” attitude sets in

■ Decreased productivity

■ Fun work becomes less exciting

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Page 7: Conflicts & Conversations

7How do you avoid these?

■ Pain & Suffering

■ Lower Energy Levels

■ Uncontrollable Feelings

■ “Why bother” attitude sets in

■ Decreased productivity

■ Fun work becomes less exciting

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Page 8: Conflicts & Conversations

8Clients From Hell

■ How would you react to these statements if they were directed at you?

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9Clients From Hell

■ "The only thing that you can do is take your design and throw it in the fucking garbage!"

■ "It’s perfect! Just one thing. We have that contact form on Contact Us page, I want you to remove that and give our email address instead. And make it into a riddle so they have to solve it to get the email. We want to ‘engage’ our visitors."

■ "I’m not paying you anything extra to do the website because it is simply a matter of pushing the right buttons. I know how to push buttons."

Source: Clientsfromhell.net

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Page 10: Conflicts & Conversations

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Clients From HellReturn To Hades

■ CLIENT: I’m not too sure about the blue…

■ ME: Actually, that’s green.

■ CLIENT: Who’s the client?

■ ME: You.

■ CLIENT: And what color is it?

■ ME: …blue?

■ CLIENT: Right. Now let me see what other shades of blue we have. We settled on pine-tree ”blue.

Source: Clientsfromhell.net

Monday, June 18, 12

Page 11: Conflicts & Conversations

11Clients From Hell

■ What might be your next line of dialog?

■ Do you feel you were crafting a response to the uncomfortable situation or responding more out of instinct?

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Page 12: Conflicts & Conversations

A Look Into ConversationsA Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.

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Page 13: Conflicts & Conversations

Audience Activity

■ FIND A PERSON NEXT TO YOU

■ DESIGNATE ONE PERSON THE TALKERShould be the only only one talking.

■ THE OTHER PERSON BECOMES THE LISTENERInstead of talking you should be taking notes about anything you find interesting about the talker. Things like behavior, eye twitches, voice inflection, etc....

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Page 14: Conflicts & Conversations

Audience Activity

■ THE TALKER SCENARIO:You are the executive upset with the design manager missing a crucial timeline this morning. This slip delays the product launch. The company will lose thousands of dollars each day the product doesn’t launch. This is not the first time this has happened.

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■ Be Vocal

■ Be Over The Top

■ Be Hysterical

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Page 15: Conflicts & Conversations

Audience Activity

■ GUESS THE BEHAVIORNow comes the hard part. The talker must try and guess what items the The listener wrote down.

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Page 16: Conflicts & Conversations

Audience Activity

■ Did you discover that it was hard to identify your own behavior?

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Page 17: Conflicts & Conversations

Mini Recap

■ Conversations Cause Negative & Positive Impact

■ No Two Situations Are Alike

■ Understanding & Controlling Behavior is Key

■ Practice

■ “Clients From Hell Site” is awesome!

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Monday, June 18, 12

Page 18: Conflicts & Conversations

Problem Conversation Types

■ Known Conversations

■ The Unknown Conversations

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Page 19: Conflicts & Conversations

Patrick Stewart

“During the course of seven years I played scenes with an oil slick,

I played a scene with a grain of rice.

Sometimes with indescribable creatures.

I remember having a conversation with something which was simply a smell, that's all.

It was part of our job.”

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Page 20: Conflicts & Conversations

Unknown Conversations

■ Hallway Conversations

■ Poop & Swoop

■ Employee Issues

■ Financial Problems

■ Marital Problems

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Page 21: Conflicts & Conversations

Primal Instincts 21

“Under great stress the process of thinking is usually characterized by loss of concentration, inability to perceive new information(to learn), hampered short-term memory, lack of initial planning of your actions..

Think Quest

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Page 22: Conflicts & Conversations

In A Critical Conversation

■ Your Pulse Quickens

■ Confusion Sets in

■ Decision Making is Difficult

■ Emotions on Autopilot

■ Adrenaline Fueled

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How Can You Control A Critical Conversation? 23

? ??

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C.A.L.M 24

Control Your BreathingAssess Your GoalLook For SignsMove Towards Your Goal

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Control Your Breathing 25

■ 1, 2 , 3 - Deep Breaths

■ Reduce Your Stress Level

■ Bring Clarity Back to Your Brain

■ Start to Form and Evaluate Your Thoughts

■ Isolate Your Emotions

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Page 26: Conflicts & Conversations

Assess Your Goal 26

■ What’s Your True Goal?

■ Is It Achievable in This Conversation?

■ What Conversational Paths Must We Take To Reach It?

■ Avoid Goal Jumping

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Page 27: Conflicts & Conversations

Look For The Signs 27

■ Behavioral & Verbal Cues

■ Goal Jumping

■ Stalemates

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Move Towards Your Goal 28

■ Form Positive Conversation Paths

■ Avoid Goal Jumping

■ Set An Action Plan

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Conversational Techniques 29

■ ESTABLISH SAFETYIs the conversation hostile?

■ COMPARE & CONTRASTI know how you might feel this way, but I’m really trying...

■ AVOID AVOIDANCEDon’t put off a critical conversation too long.

■ SET EXPECTATIONSClearly define your expectations

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5 Keys To SuccessfulConversation! 30

■ STAY C.A.L.M

■ KNOW YOUR BEHAVIORWhat happens when you get into a conversation

■ KNOW YOUR GOALKnow what you want to get from the conversation

■ DEFINE AN ACTION PLANDefine what should happen after the conversation

■ ACCOUNTABILITYHold each party accountability for the action.

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Page 31: Conflicts & Conversations

Resources To Further Your Knowledge 31

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Successful ConversationsA Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.

“BE A BAD ASS LIKE WALT”

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Page 34: Conflicts & Conversations

Preston McCauley

@uidesignguide uidesignguide.comclearsitedesigns.com prestonmccauley.com

Ways To Reach Me:

Successful ConversationsA Verbal expression of ideas, opinions, and emotions between two or more people.

Monday, June 18, 12