CONFESSIONS OF AN EVERYDAY HOUSEWIFE

It’s sick, and it’s twisted…I should just let it go, but I can’t. This has been going on for years now, last year he got married, they recently had a child. What’s worse, I know her, she is sort of a friend. I pray to God she never finds out. But, I still crave his presence in my life, even if only online for a few stolen moments. At odd hours of the morning, I’ll hear from him,“She’s sleeping in the next room, I’ve got a few hours” all the things I was never able to say to him before come spilling out nowit’s difficult living in the moment, everyday, keeping my head together, when my brain is clearly somewhere else.Promises are made, but a promise is just a lie wrapped in a big pretty bow. And we both know we’re on a head-on collision with disaster, it’s only a matter of time before both our worlds come crashing down around our ears. Picking up the pieces of our broken lives, patching them back together, separately, because it just was never meant to be for the two of us. We’ve been down this road before, it always ends in disaster.

Yet, still, I wait to hear from him, and when I do, it’s like it used to be for a few moments. It’s only much later, that the guilt sinks in, that regret storms to the surface.Secrets will eat you alive, fester until they rot you to the core, until you’ve buried it so deep, you don’t know what the truth is anymore. You’re lying to yourself, to your loved ones. And when you’ve lost the truth of the matter, what do you have left? An empty shell. A cracked and shattered husk of a life.

So I tell myself that I just won’t be there the next time, that I won’t fall into this trap again, and again and again. But it’s like an addiction, a bad habit I cannot break. He’s under my skin, he’s in my head. *********************************But only in my head, a pigment of my imagination, this one should never exist. This one should only be a story.

It should only ever be a story, my sick addiction,

And I gotta quit listening to EGYPT CENTRAL so damn much……..