confessions hsv - ch 2_birth

8/8/2019 Confessions Hsv - Ch 2_birth

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Chapter Two“A Case of the Mondays”

17 Siona McCabre Confessions of a High School Vampire: Birth



Everything was still moving slowly, as though each second was a careful,long brushstroke on the canvas of time. I had died and yet I was still here.Still moving, thinking, sensing. And I was calm - at least for a minute.

“Noah! Wake up! Noah! Noah!” She was screeching.My eyes rolled up at her. I sighed.

“Geez mom, please. Take it easy.”

For a second I thought her head was going to explode.

“Oh my god, Noah! Baby, are you okay? What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

Ugh. There it was again. That phrase I’d become so familiar with.

It was only after I reassured her I was relatively okay that she really registered the rest of the situation. Her eyes lingered on the giant shardsof tub that had been whole moments before, then shifted her glance overto me.

“What happened?” She tried again, this time quietly.

“I broke the bath.”I knew it was lame, but what else could I really explain at that point? ThatI was dead, but somehow was still sitting here talking to her? Thatconversation would have to wait, at least ‘til after some coffee.

“I can see that.” She stated. “How? Are you alright?”

Let me see, how do I say this?

“I think something’s happened to me.”

Understatement of the century.

She leaned forward and felt my forehead. A puzzled look stretched acrossher face.

“You’re freezing.”




I was vaguely aware of that. Then again, I was sitting naked in a puddle of ice water. But I didn’t feel cold. Just still.

“I’m not cold though.”

“We should get you warmed up.”

“I’m not sure that’s going to make much of a difference.”

“Well, you’re awfully pale, we’ve gotta get your blood circulating.”

I had a feeling that wasn’t going to make a difference either, but I humoredher. She offered her hand to help me up, but I didn’t need it. In fact, Ipractically floated to my feet. It was effortless. And pretty strange. It wasthen I saw myself in the mirror for what seemed like the first time.

My eyes had always been a generic brown, but now they were a deep, richoak.

My body looked strong and smooth, like marble. There was something elegant about me. I had never thought of myself as elegant.

There was a subtle shadow under my cheekbone that gave my face a moredefined, less boyish tone. It actually looked a little intimidating.

Was I a bit taller? Was that just wishful thinking?My dark hair looked the same, pretty much - just thicker.

I was impressed with my new abs. Damn, I’m cut , I thought!

I was actually starting to get psyched about all this, whatever this was. I feltnew, untouchable. Until I saw them.

My fangs.

I thought I might be imagining things, so I pulled back my lip with my finger. Sure enough, a sharp white tooth, too big to be a canine, gleamedback at me from the mirror. I pulled back my lip on the other side where atwin stark white tooth was settled.




I ran my tongue gently under the one on the left. Without even a hint of pressure, the tooth pierced my tongue, which started bleeding.

I froze.

My blood was black.

Not burgundy. Not crimson. Black.

It reminded me of one summer when I went to Australia on an outdooradventure trip. We spent a day kayaking down rivers in the wilderness andat sunset we went exploring in this epic maze of caves. We were warnedthat people had gotten lost and died in there, unable to find their way out.

A good ten minutes into the cave, having escaped any trace of external

light, we were ordered to hold still and shut off our flashlights.Click.

The dark was indescribable. You almost felt suffocated by it. It was socomplete and thorough. It was as if it traveled through you, in you, aroundyou and you were allowed to take leave of your senses and let yourself becompletely swallowed by the nothing.

Black was, after all, not a color. Unless you counted the Crayola rule where

you mixed every color in the box, and even then, it was more like pukebrown.

Black was the absence of light.

Black was my blood.

Black was the absence of life.

Oh God, what was I?

I was staring, mouth agape, at this creature – this version of myself – inthe bathroom mirror when I noticed my mom, standing behind me, staring too. She saw the fangs. She saw the blood. I caught her eye and held itfast. She was more confused than I was.




Now, she was brought up Catholic, but she really hadn’t been practicing since she had me out of wedlock and her parents disowned her. I know -harsh, right? Anyway, I wasn’t particularly religious or superstitious, but Iknew whatever I was now, I was not of this world.

To be perfectly honest, despite my awesome new physique and incrediblestrength, I felt really, really stupid. Too stupid to even say it. So I justthought it.

Vampire?

No.

No, vampires were fairy tales - they didn’t exist. They were comic

incarnations of people’s fears of dying back in the olden days when they didn’t understand rigor mortis or what happens to a body after the lastbreath has left it. I wasn’t a joke. I wasn’t a cliché. I wasn’t a stereotype. I

wasn’t a monster. And I certainly wasn’t stupid. Vampires didn’t exist.Neither did werewolves, mummies or Santa for that matter.

I could tell my mother was registering these same thoughts. We both stoodthere at the mirror, frozen, for probably ten minutes. Neither one of us

wanted to move, wanted to acknowledge this moment as existing in this

realm: in reality. Vampire.

If you say a word enough times in rapid succession, it starts to sound likegibberish. It worked backwards with this. The idea started out impossible.Ridiculous. Nonsense.

Vampire. Vampire.

Slowly, it became silly, then strange, until finally after a lot of internalrepetition, it sounded natural as a breeze.

Vampire. Vampire. Vampire. I am a vampire. I tried it out loud.

“I’m a vampire.”

My mom didn’t move.




Just then, I couldn’t help it – I burst out laughing. I mean, how crazy wasit? I passed out at a party one day, woke up a vampire the next! Come on!If you would have told me that’s the plot of a movie, I would have told youthat it’s the dumbest story I’d ever heard.

My mother looked at me like I was insane, but I couldn’t stop. Thelaughter racked my body and shook my core. It tore through me.

“You think this is funny?” She whispered.

That just made it worse.

Here’s what was funny: the idea that something that we’re brought upbelieving does not – could not – exist, something that we dress up as with

wax teeth and cheap capes for Halloween, was actually now the core of my entire being. That, to me, was pretty funny.

Here’s what wasn’t: I was a vampire. A cold, hard, undead, bloodthirsty horror. There was a twinge of maniacal desperation in my laugh and itscared even me.

“No, I don’t think it’s funny,” I managed to squeeze out betweenchuckles.

Tears were streaming down my ivory face. Well, it was good to know my tears weren’t black at least.

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation…” she offered.

That set me off. I wheeled around and got in her face faster than I knew Icould.

“An explanation for what? For the blackout? For the two perfectpuncture wounds in my neck, conveniently located on my artery? Forthe ice cold fever?”

I could see in her face she was searching for a word of comfort or sense,but neither of those things was of any use to me.




“How about my heartbeat, huh? Where did that go? Because it’sgone. What about my skin? What part of me dying merits a logicalexplanation?”

“Noah…” she pleaded.“Is there a logical explanation for how I shattered the tub? Or how Ican hear and smell EVERYTHING?”

The tears began flowing down her cheeks at that point, but anunquenchable rage had risen up in me and I kept going.

“How do you explain the goddamn fangs?”

I was starting to lose it. My rage was bubbling over and morphing into abizarre and awful thirst. A desire to hurt. Almost everything else,including my rant, was steadily drowned out by the sound of her heartbeat,like a war drum.

I craved her blood.

The wild bloodlust hijacked my every thought and all I wanted was tosatisfy it. Whatever good or human part of me that was left was swiftly shoved into a tiny corner as this new beast within took hold and prepared

for a feeding. I was struggling against it, but losing.She saw the wild sheen in my eyes. Right then, she made a decision thatsaved both our lives.

“Go to your room.” She spoke it quietly at first.

It took me off guard. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t budge though,rooted so firmly in the insane thirst. Her voice got louder. Firmer.

“Noah…” her eyes were blazing.“What…?” I couldn’t think. I was a machine.

“GO to your room. NOW.”




It was the absolute authority in her voice that won out and broke the spellof my terrible craving. I stood just a second longer before making a franticretreat to my room.

I closed and locked the door.“Huh.”

Locked door. A lot of good that’ll do me, I thought.

Who was I kidding? A lot of good that would do her.

****

So there I was. I’d been locked up in my room for two days since the

bathroom incident in an attempt to stay murder-free. I was bored out of my mind.

It was Monday and I wasn’t at school, which was probably why Malcolmhad been calling. I heard him talk to my mom on the landline briefly. Shetold him I was “sick”. It was partially true, I guess. I wanted to murder my mother and drink her blood. That was pretty sick if you asked me.

BZZT… Another text from Malcolm.

dude sick? thats lame pick up ur phone!

I knew it would take two seconds, but I didn’t have the heart to respond. Ihated lying. I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t do it. Even the white lies, the onesyou told to make someone feel better? Yeah, I couldn’t pull those off either. God forbid any girl ever asks me, “Does this make me look fat?”

So I really didn’t feel like lying to my best friend. And the whole “I’vebecome a vampire” talk was not a conversation to have via text.

In the meantime, in my utter boredom, I compiled a list of things aboutme, hoping that it would somehow lead to a clearer understanding of whatI was. Or, you know, just kill a couple hours.

So here’s what I’d learned thus far:

I really was a vampire.




I had mad cravings for blood.

Sunlight did me no good. I was sitting on my bed when a ray of lightinched through my window and eventually onto my leg, which immediately

began to sizzle. Mom ran out and got me some industrial strength SPF, which worked all right for a limited amount of time, but I had to reapply every twenty minutes. Even though it prevented me from frying alive, thesun on my skin still stung.

I was really, really strong. The solid cherry wood desk it took two burly,sweating men to carry up the stairs to my room felt light as cardboard. Icould lift it with one hand. A simple nudge of my finger sent my outdated,oversized box of a television crashing to the floor. I’m sure I’d give the

Hulk a run for his money.I was also pretty fast. Since I’d been isolated in my room, I’d only had thechance to test how fast I can dart twelve feet. Just wait till I get outside, Ithought to myself.

I bleed black.

I could still feel, although my tolerance for pain had shot through the roof.Don’t ask me how I tested this. Let’s just say I need to learn how to repair

large holes in walls.I didn’t sleep. Ever. Oh trust me, I tried. I was desperate to sleep. Not somuch because I was tired (which I wasn’t), but because I was eager to findsome sort of constant, some simple piece of my life that I could use as abuoy for my sanity. Alas, I lay for twelve full hours with my eyes closedtight and not once did I venture into the realm of the unconscious.

I was practically indestructible. Let me explain. Have you ever done thatthird grade science experiment where you combine cornstarch with waterin a plastic bag? When you just move the bag around, the mixture behaveslike a liquid. When you squeeze it, or apply any sort of pressure, itbecomes solid. This principle is called suspension. Why did I rememberthat? Because secretly I was a huge nerd.




But anyhow, that’s what my skin did. If you caressed it, lightly ran yourfingers across, it felt normal. As a test, I decided to slam my hand in thedoor. Genius, right? Since I’m a righty I used my left hand just in case my theory was totally off. I gritted my teeth, placed my hand between the doorand the frame, and slammed it shut. I was actually very surprised by how little it hurt despite my previous experimentation with my pain threshold.Don’t get me wrong; there was definitely some pain, equivalent to a stub of the toe maybe, but not the crushing of a hand. Slowly, I pulled my handback and inspected it. There was a small purplish area like a bruise thatstarted to fade away as soon as I looked at it. Within a minute, it was goneand my hand was fine. I have to admit, it was pretty cool. Speaking of cool…

I was startlingly cold to the touch.My hearing and sense of smell were unparalleled.

I was terrified of water. Not sure why. I don’t mean a glass of it, but a tub was obviously enough to freak me out.

My hair looked great. All the time.

I could hold my breath an extraordinarily long time. Another discovery as

a product of extreme boredom.I still liked TV.

So there it was. I was a vampire. It felt a little like the first day of highschool – confusing, disorienting, scary…maybe a little exciting. I’m notgoing to lie, I was slowly getting used to the idea of being undead. In fact,I had to start focusing on the facts, if for no other reason than to ward off despair, and some of the facts were…well, kind of cool.

As I was pondering these newly found facts, my mind began to wander.I pictured strolling down the dank high school halls and feeling different.Powerful. Confident. Invincible, even. I wouldn’t ever be nervous orinsecure again. I was strong. Hey, I could go out for the football team,I thought!I never really had the desire for the jock label, but it would have been funto be the best at something. I’d probably have to play down my strength,




just so people wouldn’t get suspicious and think I was on steroids. Footballplayers got a LOT of attention. Hmm, on second thought, maybe that

wasn’t the hottest idea.

Track maybe…?Holy crap – I would never have to wait in that stupidly long lunch line everagain. That is awesome.

I could beat up pretty much anyone I wanted, I realized. Wow. “Withgreat power…”

Malcolm would totally be geeking out right now. He’s huge into the comicbook and fantasy stuff. Me? Not so much, but I’m pretty well versed since

I have to listen to him go on about it all the time.I started thinking about what everyone would be doing at school, how foreveryone else, this was just another Monday. I thought about Malcolmbeing all fidgety in math class. Man does that guy hate math. It was pretty funny. You’d think trigonometry had murdered his parents, the way hetalked about it.

I thought about Paige, and how she always picked the seat near the window in history. She got cold easily, so she liked to sit in the sun. She alsoseemed to daydream a lot and yet she always knew the answers to every one of Mr. Halstead’s questions about the Renaissance or World War I.She’s perceptive like that. Oh, she would definitely notice my new physique. Maybe I could get her to touch my abs in gym class…

As I lingered on Paige in my mind, I began to feel a subtle fluttering in my stomach.

Then it happened.

Once again, I was violently plunged into a world of uncertainty – I had noidea what the hell was happening to me.

In a flash of a second, suddenly the room grew enormous! Everything looked panoramic. I was no longer lounging on the bed, but bobbing in




hectic circles about a foot above it. At least I think it was a foot - it lookedmore like a hundred feet.

On instinct I guess, I was flapping my arms frantically. Holy crap my arms!

My arms were gone – replaced by thinner-than-paper filament. Wings? Ihad wings. Oh this was just great.

It was hard to process any of this though, because not only did it seem asthough I was looking through a gyroscope, but the world was spinning atsuch an insane rate that I thought I was either going to vomit or pass out.Or both.

Instead, I crash-landed on my bed, which now appeared to be a mile long.Once I had come to a complete stop, I tried to make sense of the latest bitof insanity. I felt trapped – as if I had been stuffed into a suitcase, twistedand contorted until I fit into a new, unnatural mold. I tried one thing at atime.

I closed my eyes. After a breath, I opened them again. Still, the world laidout before me was gargantuan and divided into thousands of prisms. Icould see all around me.

My human arms were gone. In place of them were delicate wings. They

were black at the edges, but bled into a brilliant cyan and forest green colorthat shimmered with my every movement. Beneath me were six little legs.I tried taking a step forward. Well, six steps technically. I have no idea how they all knew to move in sync, but somehow they did. It sort of tickled.

So that was it? I was a butterfly now? As if I hadn’t been through enoughchange recently. Becoming a vampire was one thing, at least I stillresembled a human. Now I was just an insect! I was terrified thatsomehow this too would be permanent.

I opened my mouth to make a sound, but there was only silence. I watchedas my long spindly tongue unrolled itself in front of me, like the hauntedhill in The Nightmare Before Christmas .

At that point, I lost it. The panic took over. I was so constricted I couldhardly breathe and I was filled with an immense need to get out of this




body, out of this form. I pumped my little wings as hard as I could -flexing every minuscule muscle, tensing every millimeter of my tiny being.

I careened towards the ceiling in jumpy little circles. I had no plan, only a

single, unbearably potent desire to escape.Finally, after a dizzying ninety seconds, I felt a sudden sharp intake of airinto my lungs followed by a deafening pop. My eyes blurred and refocusedas little stars sprinkled my vision. Then, as quickly as it had happened inthe first place, I was back to normal.

The weight of my regular sized body submitted instantly to gravity as Icame crashing down on the floor.

My mom heard the massive thump. I could hear her running upstairs tocheck on me.

“Noah, are you okay?”

“Fine, mom.”

There was a beat of silence. She was considering something.

“Is there anything I can get you?” She offered, hopeful.

“No thanks, mom. Just leave me alone please.”“Okay.” I heard her footsteps meander down the stairs and into thekitchen.

When I’d had a good ten minutes to let the shock melt away somewhat, Istood up from the floor and walked over to my dresser. I thoroughly inspected myself to make sure I was still a vampire (the first time thethought was actually a relief) and wasn’t sporting antennae or something.

Oh and I’m sure you’ve figured this out by now, but we appear in mirrors.So, myth busted.

Speaking of myths, all I had ever known about vampires was what I hadseen portrayed in pop culture, so all of this was throwing me for a hugefreaking loop. What other myths that existed about my kind were




completely false? What other surprises were in store for me? How onearth could I have any idea what to expect? There was no pamphlet youreceived once you entered the realm of the undead. Did I absolutely have to drink blood? I craved it like a madman, but what would happen if Istarved myself? I was floating in a sea of confusion without a compass.I wished I had some sort of direction. Someone to ask - a guide. I couldn’tbe the only one, right? I mean, there had to be someone who made me

what I am. So there was at least one other vampire in the world. Butbeyond that? I wasn’t narcissistic enough to think I was really the only one,but I still wondered why I had never heard of us before? Do we allrandomly turn into freaking butterflies? Why was there no hint of ourexistence beyond the stories people tell? Where was my welcoming party?

So I did what any normal high schooler would do in a time of confusionand need. I Googled it.

There were a billion sites. Any of them useful? Probably not. But whatthe hell, I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

It took some time to sort through the usual – Amazon.com, Craigslist,Borders, etc. - all those sites trying to sell me a book about vampires. Toobad they didn’t have a Being a Vampire for Dummies . I also had to sortthrough a lot of movie junk. Lost Boys forums, Dracula fanatics, True Blood reviews, Interview With a Vampire blogs. Apparently, the mainstream really dug a hunky bloodsucker, but all these sites were just fluff. Where’s thereal stuff, I wondered?

I tried Wikipedia only to find that there were as many theories on vampiresas there were options in the cereal aisle.

The Cocoa Puffs version of vampires – we slept in coffins, had an affinity

for capes and widow’s peaks, and lurked around dark corners in the night waiting for helpless maidens. Silly.

The Corn Pops version of vampires – we were reckless lovers whooriginated in Europe and treated humans as our toys. We didn’t appear inmirrors and daylight turned us to ash. Hmm. Not so much.




The Muesli version of vampires – we were descendants of Cain, damnedto an evil undead existence of feeding off the blood of the living. That’sjust morbid.

I didn’t feel evil. I didn’t have a heartbeat, but that didn’t mean I was soul-less, right? If you cut me, did I not bleed…black? And was I really going to live forever? If I never died, how could I possibly be damned to hell? Ididn’t even do anything! I didn’t choose this.

Talk about an identity crisis. I decided to try a slightly different route.

I decided to go in some chat rooms on sites that are apparently run by “real vampires.”

About half of what I encountered was about people who call themselves vampires, but were actually just normal people with a compulsion to drink blood and a slight sensitivity to daylight. The other half was people whoclaimed to be high-flying, all-powerful, supernatural, blood-drinking,coffin-sleeping vampires. This I had to see.

I entered under the inconspicuous screen name “bloodboy957”. Realoriginal, huh? When the chat loaded, it appeared “suckaluvr” was in aheated argument with “fangrl233“.

Suckaluvr: u cant tell me u honestly think thatjust cuz u tasted ur own blud once that u r the truvampire.

Fangrl233: i didnt say that stop twisting my words!

Suckaluvr: i’m not twisting ur words, i’m justsayin, I know ur not a tru vampire cuz I am and we

can tell wen someone’s lying.Fangrl233: if your a true vampire then howcome youhavent even learnt to spell?

Suckaluvr: how does that make any diffrense?




Fangrl233: if you were psychic and strong and allthe things your saying, you would at least know howto spell right? You’re the kind of freak thatgives us real vampires bad names.

Suckaluvr: ur wrong. So wrong. u dont even nowwhat we go thru as vampires. Its not all fun angames and the power comes at such a prise. u aresuch a poser.

Fangrl233: you’re the poser!

Bloodboy957: uh, hi everyone.

Suckaluvr: it’s a good thing i’ve masterd my powersof self control cuz otherwise id come drink ur bludtonite wile u sleep.

Bloodboy957: I’m new to the site…

Fangrl233: I dare you! I bet you cant even tellthe difference (spelled with a ‘c’ moron) betweentype a and type o.

Suckaluvr: I bet u culdnt find ur way around amasuleum.

Fangrl233: do you even know what a mausoleum is?

Bloodboy957: I have a question.

Suckaluvr: ur the biggest faker! Ur so not avampire u wannabe freak!

Fangrl233: I’m gonna bleed you dry!

Bloodboy957: can vampires change into butterflies?

. . .

Fangrl233: that is the dumbest question ive everheard.

Suckaluvr: were did u hear that?




Bloodboy957: I don’t remember - I think I read itsomewhere.

Suckaluvr: as a tru vampire, i can tell u, we dontturn into buterflies. This is how stupid miths get

spred.

Fangrl233: stop saying you are a real vampire!

I signed off at that point. This was getting me nowhere. It was really amazing how many delusional people there were in the world. Scratch that

– how many delusional people there were online . I was on my own for now.


confessions hsv - ch 2_birth

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