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Comprehensive Note Writing Practice For 2008 -
Let's Do It!
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Join Date: May 2007Location: Karachi
Posts: 218Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
Comprehensive Note Writing Practice For 2008 - Let's Do It!
Hi,
I am initiating a thread for the Passage writing practice; English Paper II Q3. Hope you all wouldparticipate at their best.
Looking forward to your contributions!
thanks
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__________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Join Date: May 2007Location: KarachiPosts: 218Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
Plz check whether up to the requirements and correct the errors.
2006 - Q3 (c)Charms strike the sight but merit wins the soul
Many people think from their eyes and do not bother to use their gray matter. This is very commonobservation that a well-dressed person is highly regarded by masses as compare to a modest wearingperson. The reason merely is the charm of the sight and the impression of status that paralyze theability of judgment. With this irresponsible behavior, the injustice is done with the meritorious ones.It has become a norm of today's world; business firms are specially training their employees to makethemselves up effectively in order to impress the customers. Such measures greatly improve the saleof the product. Leaving aside some reputed organizations, some enterprises are deceiving people indisguise. The truth, later on, discloses over the purchaser that the product is not up to the mark.
However, contrary to this phenomenon, a well-recognized and quality product does not need suchflattering tricks. The quality and merit of the product speaks volumes about its utility for thecustomers. Whether the salesperson is sitting on the footpath or whether the product is in an ordinarypack, the pervious satisfaction of the customer would not bother to see the charm; purchasers wouldonly judge by the satisfactory response of the product that had previously got by them. Therefore,new products, which are defective in their merits but attractive in their packaging, would never beable to win the soul of the customers over the product having some merit in its quality. Hence, charmstrikes the sight but merit wins the soul.
__________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
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#4
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The Following User Says Thank You to secondopinion02 For This Useful Post:
Faisalmemon (Saturday, January 03, 2009)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Muskan Ghuman Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005Location: PakistanPosts: 870Thanks: 141
Thanked 200 Times in 107 Posts
@ Second Coming,
Good effort! Especially the language, syntax and organization are superb. You have interpreted thequote from the point of view of business. No doubt, you have proved logically whatever you wanted tosay but the same quote can be interpreted in another sense as well. Like in this materialistic agemostly people go for outer looks or facial beauty of a person but this charm is not long-lasting andfades soon. On the contrary, merits i.e. different good attributes in one's personality leave apermanent influence on others. Outer beauty can satisfy only vision but merits make a strong bond
between two souls....Anyhow your effort is really commendable. Keep it up.
Regards, __________________My ALLAH it is enough for my respect that I m "Your" person & it is enough for my pride that "You"are my GOD."You" are exactly the way I desire.Thus please mould me the way "You" desire.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Join Date: May 2007Location: KarachiPosts: 218
Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
@Muskan Ghuman
Thanks for your appreciation, it has realy improved my morale.... I am eagerly anticipating your ownversion of this passage.
Regards, __________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Yasser28 Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007Location: IslamabadPosts: 145Thanks: 7Thanked 79 Times in 20 Posts
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#6
Quote:
Charms strike the sight but merit wins the soul
Many people think from their eyes and do not bother to use their gray matter. This is verycommon observation that a well-dressed person is highly regarded by the masses as compareto a modest+ly wearing person. The reason merely is the charm of the sight and theimpression of status that paralyze+s the ability of judgment. With this irresponsible behavior,the injustice is done with the meritorious ones. It has become a norm of today's world;business firms are specially training their employees to make themselves up effectively inorder to impress the customers. Such measures greatly improve the sale of the product.Leaving aside some reputed organizations, some enterprises are deceiving people in disguise.The truth, later on, discloses over the purchaser that the product is not up to the mark.However, contrary to this phenomenon, a well-recognized and quality product does not needsuch flattering tricks. The quality and merit of the product speaks volumes about its utility forthe customers. Whether the salesperson is sitting on the footpath or whether the product is inan ordinary pack, the pervious satisfaction of the customer would not bother to see thecharm; purchasers would only judge by the satisfactory response of the product that had
previously got by them. Therefore, new products, which are defective in their merits butattractive in their packaging, would never be able to win the soul of the customers over theproduct having some merit in its quality. Hence, charm strikes the sight but merit wins thesoul.
.
Please look the things I've italicised.Try to think what's wrong with them and give them in a separatepost,I'll try to tell you how you can improve them.Moreover,all of your spellings are in AmericanEnglish try to convert them in the standard British English,e.g.,gray into grey,paralyze intoparalyse,behavior into behaviour.The rest search for yourself.I can presume you have beenpredominantly reading books of American authors during your studentship.However,I appreciate yourdevelopment of the thesis.
...Yasser __________________
Yasser Chattha
Thursday, May 31, 2007
555 37th Common
Join Date: May 2007Location: islamabadPosts: 98Thanks: 30Thanked 55 Times in 26 Posts
superb effort dear
Quote:
Originally Posted by secondopinion02Plz check whether up to the requirements and correct the errors.
2006 - Q3 (c)Charms strike the sight but merit wins the soul
Many( Most of the ) people think from their eyes and do not bother to use( using) their gray matter. This is very common observation that a well-dressed person is highly regarded by masses as compare(cmpared) to a modest ( humbly or modestly dressed )wearing person. Thereason merely is the charm of the( the is extra ) sight and the impression of status that paralyze the ability of judgment. Withthis irresponsible behavior, the ( the extra )injustice is done with the meritorious ones. It has
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#8
become a norm of today's world; business firms are specially training their employees to
make themselves up effectively in order to impress the customers. Such measures greatly improve the sale of the( the extra ) product. Leaving aside some reputed organizations, someenterprises are deceiving people in disguise. The truth, later on, discloses over the purchaser that the product is not up to the mark. However,
( use however or cotrary but both are not appropriate ) contrary to this phenomenon, a well-recognized and quality product does not need such flattering tricks. The quality and merit of the product speaks volumes about (of) its utility for the customers. Whether the salesperson issitting on the footpath or whether
(or is enough no whether here ) the product is in an ordinary pack, the pervious satisfaction of
the customer would not bother to see the charm; purchasers would only judge by thesatisfactory response of the product that had previously got by them. Therefore, new
products, which are defective in their merits but attractive in their packaging, would never beable to win the soul of the( the extra ) customers over the product having some merit in itsquality. Hence, charm strikes the sight but merit wins the soul.
Dear , that was a splendid effort.I tried to find out some mistakes.These are mentioned as above.Imay be wrong in my assessment.I request further correction from the other members.
Regards __________________Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Last edited by Shooting Star; Wednesday, May 09, 2012 at 12:35 AM .
Thursday, May 31, 2007
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Join Date: May 2007Location: KarachiPosts: 218Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS, IT IS FOLLY TO BE WISEIt is human nature that it craves for happiness, freedom and relaxation. There is no doubt thathumans are sent in this world to bear the sufferings of the mistake carried out by their ancestors inparadise; Adam and Eve's blunder against Allah's command. So in this world, the mankind is for livinga life full of worries, which start from the birth with a cry for food and end at the last breath with afear of death. Thus, the reason to be in this world is to bear anxieties, frustrations and fears. Now thequestion is if there is no way out of tensions then how to live in the world? The answer would be clearby a simple logic that a child is unaware of the threat of the weapons of mass destruction or aninevitable death. The baby lives in a careless and fearless world, which is full of joy and liveliness.This world of neglect is the real cause of an everlasting happiness of the kid. Therefore, it is theignorance which safe the children from high blood pressure, heart attack, depression and so on. Toneglect certain realities that have nothing to do with our daily life is necessary. Such matters which
have no immediate bearings upon our daily routine should be ignored. Pondering over such problemswould be out of our scope. There are thousands of moments of joys are lying in front of us; the needis to realize them and accept the reality that where ignorance is bliss, it is folly to be wise.
__________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Join Date: May 2007Location: Karachi
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#9
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Posts: 218Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
Thanks To Locate My Weaknesses..... I Have Posted Another Passage, Hope You All Would Correct
This. Waiting For Your Comments.....
Regards __________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
secondopinion02 38th CTP (PAAS)
Join Date: May 2007Location: KarachiPosts: 218Thanks: 14Thanked 144 Times in 63 Posts
@ YASSER28Sir I would like to ask that why should I stop writing American standard. I think it would be mistaketo mix both British and American spellings and styles but if I am totally following American patternthen why should I shift to British. Also it would be difficult for me to follow British standard coz I amused to American way of spelling. Wouldn it have any bearing upon my marks if I do follow theAmerican standard of writing in exam?
@YASSER28Plz justify the following mistakes as you have pointed out;With this irresponsible behavior,It has become a norm of today's world;The truth, later on, discloses over the purchaserpurchasers would only judge by the satisfactory response of the product that had previously got bythem.
@ 555Could you please clarify the following mistakes that you have pointed out?1. Many(Most of the) people think from their eyes.2. bother to use(using) their gray matter..... ("Bother to" phrase can be used with a verb word)
3. Such measures greatly improve the sale of the(the extra) product.
Thanks
regards
SECONDOPINION __________________Lo! man is in a state of loss. (Al-Asr:103:2) And every small and great thing is recorded. (Al-Qamar:54:53) And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back to Allah. Thenevery soul will be paid in full that which it hath earned, and they will not be wronged. (Al-Baqara:2:281)
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#10
Last edited by Shooting Star; Wednesday, May 09, 2012 at 12:35 AM .
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Yasser28 Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007Location: IslamabadPosts: 145Thanks: 7Thanked 79 Times in 20 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by secondopinion02@YASSER28Plz justify the following mistakes as you have pointed out;With this irresponsible behavior,It has become a norm of today's world;The truth, later on, discloses over the purchaser
purchasers would only judge by the satisfactory response of the product that had previously got by them.
Dear, this "irresposible" is not a suitable adjective here, use instead "faulty", "immature" ,etc.
''world's;" insert comma here not a semi-collin
''discloses over'' is not a proper word here(yaar watching TV while composing post so not coming in mind a suggestive word)yes,watching DAWN NEWS gave clue use "dawns upon" istead.
"previously 'got by them" try to remain in active voice,passive voice is considered stylistically in bad taste."Got" word is used in informal and spoken language for written you have to resort to ''bought"....you've missed some italicised items,well it's up to you.But I should remind you that youneed to strengthen your definite article ''the" area.Moreover,you seem to me a management or IT graduate and there is an abundance of Americanism in your writing, esp., in spelling
conventions.Do remeber our CSS examiners are little Master's in American literature rather they are conservative followers of British conventions of Queen's English.It wasinformation,you can better decide for yourself.
Quote:
@ 555Could you please clarify the following mistakes that you have pointed out?1. Many(Most of the) people think from their eyes.2. bother to use(using) their gray matter..... ("Bother to" phrase can be used with a verbword)3. Such measures greatly improve the sale of the(the extra) product.
I tend to disagree with the first point of my ver dear fellow 555.When you use "Most of the people"you are giving a negative signal that majority is fool rather your Second... "Many" appeals to me as itis giving quite reasonable space that there are many people not "nearly all people" .
The second point of 555 is quite agreeble to me and I feel sorry I missed that.Dear,you have t use agerund here it's not just simple verb first form case.
...Yasser __________________Yasser Chattha
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