community links issue 226 purim edition

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NCC

FEATURES February 22, 2013

It’s Time To Play

Tips from the Educational Administration of Harkham Hillel

Hebrew Academy

A Year In IsraelThey go to spread their wings and ex-

perience independence from theirfamilies and to explore their Jewish

heritage, identity and spirituality.

Linda O. Schlesinger

Bullying In OurSchools

We, as a Jewish community, have abuilt-in platform from which to

address bullying in the Torah context.

Mia Adler Ozair, MA, LPCC, NCC

20

8

CongressGearing Up

For Iron Dome Tribute

I believe that holding the event in Con-gress is a true expression of gratitude

on behalf of the American Jewishcommunity and those who value

human life.

Arielle Plonske

Next IssueNext Advertising Deadline

March 1, 2013

CirculationMarch 8, 2013

Media Kit & Pricing323.965.1544

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THE COMMUNITY LINKS is published bi-weekly and is distributed free tothe Jewish Community of SouthernCalifornia.

THE COMMUNITY LINKS accepts noresponsibility for typographicalerrors or reliability of Kashrus of any advertisers. All submissions become the property of THE COMMUNITY LINKS and may beshortened and/or edited for lengthand clarity. Articles published in THE COMMUNITY LINKS express theviews of the individual writers andmay not necessarily represent theviews of THE COMMUNITY LINKS. No artwork or any part of the magazine may be reprinted or otherwise duplicated without thewritten permission of the publisher.

34 26

Bullying in Our SchoolsMIA ADLER OZAIR, MA, LPCC, NCC

As the saying goes, “kids will be kids.” The implication of this being that behaviors

of all types—tantrums at age 2, fighting over toys at age 5, talking back to parents at age 9, fights among friends at age 12, etc.—are really just part of growing and developing and can and should be expected. In reality, this is true. There are social markers for development at all ages that come with the challenges of children navigating relationships of all types while growing up. However, there are limits to the “kids will be kids” statement and we must be careful that it doesn’t become an excuse for lack of parenting and/or lack of school involvement when the behaviors turn into bullying.

By definition, a “bully” is someone who is overbearing and who habitually badgers, in-timidates, and/or excludes others. “Bullying” is the act of intentionally intimidating and berating another person. Professionals have come to understand that in actuality bullies are mostly children and teens who themselves are very insecure, often times experiencing some type of abuse in the home, experiencing some element of trauma (parents divorcing

or a death in the family), and have no healthy outlet or source of support to process and manage their feelings and experiences. This does not excuse a bully’s behavior; however it does put it into context and allows us to see the bully as another human being who is troubled and lacking. Thankfully, anti-bullying programs are prevalent and in most schools today there is at least some element of education and awareness on what a bully is, how to deal with one, and how not to become one. These programs are greatly needed, but even more important is both parents’ and schools’ commitments to following through on addressing bullying issues in the school and community. This includes paying atten-tion to any and all student complaints of bul-lying, providing intervention and remediation when a child is identified as a bully, and cre-ating a joint team effort between home and school to support new, more positive behav-iors of the bully.

An important element to examine is that when most people think of bullying they im-mediately think of schools. However bullying can and does take place in any setting where social interaction takes place: school, syna-gogue, after-school activity, in the home be-

tween siblings, parents bully children, neigh-borhood activity, and so on. What can also be a challenge is that bullies can be sophisticated in their approach to avoid getting caught. For example, instead of straight-out bullying in the classroom, the incidences take place in the hallway between classes, on the playground, at lunch time, and other times of day when there is not a direct supervisor who can catch and/or hear what is going on. The following are some statistics I pulled from an amaz-ing website called “Make Beats Not Beat Downs” (MBNBD) (www.makebeatsnot-beatdowns.org) which is an organization working against bullying through the use of music and art:

school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Source: National Education Association.

2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.

-nessed some type of bullying at school.


-rectly related to fears of being bullied at school.

bullying as a problem at their school.

with a gun at school.

in secondary schools each month.-

ing in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the el-ementary level than in the middle or high schools.

being victims of bullying

were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.

-gest motivation for school shootings.

-vated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”

on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

-ers because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.

-cal abuse at home can lead to violence in school.

does so because of repeated bullying.

As you can see from these statistics, bul-lying is no laughing matter and the effects of bullying in its most severe form can be

life threatening. I know what you’re thinking: “My child

is a good Jewish boy/girl and/or attends a nice Jewish day school. I don’t need to worry about this.” I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you, but bullying in Jewish schools and/or by Jewish kids is just as common as in secu-lar schools and/or by secular kids. The one advantage we have in the Jewish community is that our value system clearly outlines and supports what derech eretz (“the way of the land”) is and the importance of raising chil-dren who respect and uphold our societal values of treating others the way we wish to be treated. We, as a Jewish community, have a built-in platform from which to ad-dress bullying in the Torah context. As an educator and therapist, I feel this is simply amazing and something that every Jewish school must strive to highlight.

Once again borrowing from the MKNBD website:

“Bullying can take many forms but it usually includes the following types of be-havior:

– hitting, kicking, pinch-ing, punching, scratching, spitting or any other form of physical attack. Damage to or taking someone else’s be-longings may also constitute as physical bullying.

– name calling, insulting, making racist, sexist or homophobic jokes, remarks or teasing, using sexually suggestive or abusive language, offensive remarks

– spreading nasty stories about someone, exclusion from social groups, being made the subject of mali-cious rumors, sending abusive mail, and email and text messages (cyber bully-ing).

– any type of bul-lying that is carried out by electronic me-dium. There are 7 types including:1. Text message bullying2. Picture/video clip bullying via

mobile phone cameras3. Phone call bullying via mobile

phones

We, as a Jewish community, have a built-in platform

from which to address bullying in the Torah

context.


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5. Chat-room bullying

(IM)7. Bullying via websitesAs parents, educators, and community

members, it is our obligation and responsi-bility to educate ourselves about the types of bullying abuse so that we can identify it and intervene immediately upon witnessing it. Our Jewish lifestyle forbids the use of lashon hara (speaking negatively about another per-son), being verbally or physically abusive, and generally treating others with disrespect. In addition, it is considered a mitzvah to defend those who need help and protect those who may be weaker. In other words, the very es-sence and core of our belief system is entirely against actions of bullying and gives us the right to act fully and ensure all children can attend school, synagogue, and other activities feeling safe, secure, and happy. It is clearly the parents’ responsibility to ensure this is also happening in the home.

Although “how to deal with a bully” is an extremely important topic, I am going to

leave this for you to learn through your child’s school. Take the time to investigate what your school is doing to address bullying and edu-cate yourself about ways to assist your child if he or she is being a bully or being bullied. However one final and important element is how to recognize if your child may be the victim of bullying. Taken from Jay McGraw’s Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies, here are the key signs your child could be suffer-ing:

1. Makes up excuses not to go to school; 2. Is often angry, sad or depressed, with-

drawn, self-loathing and emotionally erratic;

3. Frequently hurt by a particular person or group of people;

other people; 5. Mistakes are turned into a big deal by

someone;

7. Always being confronted with lies/ru-mors;

Bullying is unfortunately an existing part of childhood and adolescence—and even sometimes adulthood—however it is not something that must be accepted as “the way

it is” and is certainly something that with edu-cation and intervention can be minimized. It is our duty in each of our respective commu-nities to ensure our schools are doing all they can to create a healthy, safe, and bully-free en-vironment for our children.

My article about ADHD found in Com-munity Links issue #223 discussed the holis-tic treatment method of Reiki. I would like to clarify that there are two distinct opinions about whether the use of Reiki energy work is “kosher” and allowed according to Jew-ish law. I encourage you to speak with your Rabbi and to do your own research prior to engaging in Reiki practice as some Rabbis say it is okay while others condemn it. My apologies for not including that information in the original article.

Mia Adler Ozair, MA, LPCC, NCC is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and educator with a pri-vate practice in Beverly Hills, California. Mia is licensed in both California and Illinois and she can be reached through her website at www.bhcounsel-ingcenter.com, e-mail at [email protected], office 310-464-5226, or followed on Twitter @MiaAdlerOzair



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THE STORY IN A NUTSHELL:The Persian empire of the 4th century BCE

extended over 127 lands, and all the Jews were its subjects. When King Ahasuerus had his wife, Queen Vashti, executed for failing to follow his orders, he orchestrated a beauty pageant to find a new queen. A Jewish girl, Esther, found favor in his eyes and became the new queen—though she refused to divulge the identity of her nationality.

Meanwhile, the anti-Semitic Haman was appointed prime minister of the empire.Mordechai, the leader of the Jews (and Esther’s cousin), defied the king’s orders and refused to bow to Haman. Haman was incensed and convinced the king to issue a decree ordering the extermination of all the Jews on the 13th of Adar—a date chosen by a lottery Haman made.

Mordechai galvanized all the Jews, convincing them to repent, fast and pray to G-d. Meanwhile, Esther asked the king and Haman to join her for a feast. At the feast, Esther revealed to the king her Jewish identity. Haman was hanged, Mordechai was appointed prime minister in his stead, and a new decree was issued—granting the Jews the right to defend themselves against their enemies.

On the 13th of Adar the Jews mobilized and killed many of their enemies. On the 14th of Adar they rested and celebrated.

How toGuidePurim

1. LISTEN TO THE MEGILLAH

To relive the miraculous events of Purim,listen to the reading of the megillah

(theScroll of Esther) twice: once on Purim eve, Saturday night, February 23, and again on Purim day, February 24.

To properly fulfill the mitzvah, it is crucial to hear every single word of the megillah.

At certain points in the reading where Haman’s name is mentioned, it is customary to twirl graggers (Purim noisemakers) and stamp one’s feet to “eradicate” his evil name. Tell the children that Purim is the only time when it’s a mitzvah to make noise!

2. GIVE TO THE NEEDY MATANOT LA’EVYONIMConcern for the needy is a year-round

responsibility; but on Purim it is a special mitzvah to remember the poor.

Give charity to at least two (but preferably more) needy individuals on Purim day, February 24.

The mitzvah is best fulfilled by giving directly to the needy. If, however, you cannot find poor people, place at least two coins into a charity box. As with the other mitzvahs of Purim, even small children should be taught to fulfill this mitzvah.

3. SEND FOOD PORTIONS TO FRIENDS MISHLOACH MANOT 4. EAT, DRINK AND BE

MERRY

SPECIAL PRAYERS AL HANISSIM, TORAH READING

PURIM CUSTOMS: MASQUERADES AND HAMANTASHEN

TORAH READING OF ZACHOR

THE FAST OF ESTHER

THE “HALF COINS” MACHATZIT HASHEKEL

SHUSHAN PURIM

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Anywhere Else? BY RABBI LABEL LAM

And these are the garments you shall make: A Breastplate, an Ephod, a Robe, a Tunic

of a box-like knit, a Turban, and a Sash. They shall make these garments of sanctity for Aaron your brother and his sons to minister to Me. (Shemos 28:3-4)

…And you shall make for them Headdress-es of splendor and glory. (Shemos 28:40)

And you shall make a Head-plate of pure gold and engrave upon it, engraved like a signet ring, “Holy to HASHEM!” (Shemos 28:36)

These are the eight glorious garments to be worn by the Kohen Gadol, the High Priest when performing the service in the Holy Temple. There is one area of “clothing” that is conspicuously absent from the Ko-hen Gadol’s wardrobe. Can you guess? You got it! Shoes! Why? Amongst all the elabo-rate and decorative outerwear that adorns the Kohen Gadol, why do his feet remain bare?

Let us hearken back to a slightly earlier time when Moshe was shepherding the sheep of his father in-law, wandering in the desert, and he turned to take note of the phenom-enon of the burning bush. At that moment HASHEM spoke to Moshe and demanded of him, “Take off your shoes from upon your feet because the ground that you are stand-ing upon is holy!” Why was he told to remove his shoes? The Ramban answers, “because in places of holiness such as the Temple, even Kohanim may not wear shoes!” That begs

the question, “Why are Kohanim, as Moshe at that moment, not to wear shoes?

In the Yalkut Shemoni there’s a dispute about the original stature of Adam the First Man before he was diminished. One opinion says that at one time he reached from the earth to the heavens. Another opinion states that he stretched from one end of the world to the other end of the world, so that when he would lie down his head was in the east and his feet were in the west.

What is meaning of the discussion? I once heard from a great person an ap-proach to this argument between the sages. It’s a debate about the nature of mankind. People are curious and they love to travel to new and exotic places. This is consis-tent with notion that the Talmud Sanhe-drin states, that the dust that was used to form Adam was gathered from all over the world. Man has a connection to allover the planet. Therefore there exists in the hearts of men this insatiable appetite for adventure- to move horizontally about the world, even mentally, imaginatively won-dering about events in distant lands. This is a basic description of one dimension of human nature.

Then there is another type of man. He has no desire to budge from his place. Maybe he wandered enough and came to understand, as the phrase says these days, “been there- done that”. Such a person dis-covers the real limitless adventure in life is

not horizontal like the snake moves but vertical like Yaakov’s ladder planted here on earth while ever striving for the heav-ens. That is a different type of person al-together.

When Moshe discovered that “burning bush” his horizontal journeying ceased and he became anchored to that place. When one removes their shoes it expresses a com-mitment to remain here. This is where it is happening! This is hallowed ground! Per-haps the same can be said for the Kohen. Shoes are for travelers in sideways direc-tion. A golden plate that declares, “Holy to HASHEM” is for one whose head is reaching for the heavens.

I heard directly from the mouth of Rabbi Shimshon Pincus ztl that once while on a flight from America to Israel the plane made a stopover for a brief period in London. When the connecting flight was ready to continue, he was deeply involved in Davening Mincha. In spite of all the announcements, “now boarding…” , “last call for flight #...” he continued to remain steadfast and focused on his prayers. As a result, he missed the flight. This created a load of logistical problems for him to get another flight and then catch up with his luggage. When asked why he allowed that to happen, he replied, “I was talking to HASHEM! Why would I want to be anywhere else?

Courtesy of www.torah.org

Parshas Tetzaveh


Tips from the Educational Administration of Harkham Hillel Hebrew Academy

It’s Time To Play

Play is the cornerstone to child development in the early years – but is one form of play better than another? There are benefits to both free play and structured play. At Hil-

lel, both are invaluable and give opportunities for our children, re-gardless of age or grade, to gain important life skills. Both forms of play are valuable in their own right – the key is finding the balance that suits your child and your family.

The different types of play: free and structured. 1. Free Play: when children are left to their own devises to find

something to amuse them, explore, create and/or imagine in a safe environment, undirected by adults.

2. Structured Play: when children are directed in specific activi-ties structured by adults to develop the skills necessary for the child to be a successful later in life. PE classes are the school’s structured play. Outside of school, structured play can take many forms: karate class, football, baseball, soccer or la-crosse leagues, etc.

STRUCTURED PLAYIn the simplest terms, structured play is showing

your kids new skills to try out. It is teaching them something new that they don’t yet know how to do, and there is a huge amount of value in that on so many levels.Scientific research has proven that structured play : Enhances overall development and learning capabili-

tiesSupports healthy brain development by pro-viding new ideas and opportunities

Increases physical skills and motor de-velopment

Provides exposure to self-discipline and perseverance

Assists in developing a positive self-imageWhen per-formed in a group,

helps build team skills, cooperation and other social skills.Research from Yale University also shows very strong sup-

port for structured play. The found that “children who take part in organized activities benefit developmentally. They are health-ier, judging from their academic performance and indicators of psychological and emotional wellbeing and self-esteem, as well as from their parent-child relationships...”

FREE PLAYFree play is a hugely valuable activity that also must not be un-

derestimated or neglected. Your child can learn so very much from self-directed activity. Some experts suggest that free play and “di-rected free play” (where an adult makes suggestions and/or par-ticipates in free play with their child) should make up the largest component of your child’s play experiences during 0-3 years. It’s valuable to your child’s overall development, it’s easy and it’s fun.

It has been suggested in the literature, that with to-day’s busy lifestyle, we tend to forget to let children have sufficient “down-time” in the form of free play. Often when children are not engaged in a structured activity, they are being entertained by the “box”

(whether that’s the TV or the computer). In general, our society struggles to allow chil-dren to play independently and we attempt

to entertain children and keep them busy to avoid boredom.

However, a little bit of boredom never hurt anyone – in fact it has been shown to be the birthplace of imagina-tion and creativity. When leaving chil-dren to their own devices to entertain themselves, they may become bored

initially…..but wait…. if you weather the few groans and moans of “I’m booorrred”

(although you will rarely hear a young child say this as they instinctively know how to

explore unaided), eventually your child will think of something to do. The

more they practise entertain-


ing themselves, the better they will become at it. This process fos-ters brain development, independence, self reliance, creativity and imagination. It is a relaxing, enjoyable and stress free activity for your children to participate in.

So which form of play is better?Both structured and free-form play, con-

tribute significantly — and in different ways — to your child’s development. Both are equally important and a part of your child’s daily schedule at school. They are compli-mentary, and each provides important as-pects for your child’s needs. It is all about balancing the two forms of play in a way that suits your child and your family.

So how much of each? - Our recommenda-tion

Both forms of play have so much to offer - it’s about striking the balance that is right for you and your child. Each family will be different when considering the optimal time recommended spent teaching new skills to your child each week. As a starting point for 0-3 year olds perhaps put aside 15-30 min-utes a couple of times a week to try something new with your child and see how that goes. If both you and your child are enjoying the experience you can increase how much you do accordingly.

If your child is unfamiliar with structured activity, you may find

he has a very short attention span to begin with. As your child be-comes more familiar with the learning process, you will notice his attention span increase and you will both find the sessions more

rewarding as he learns to concentrate for lon-ger.

Outside of school, it’s important to take note of the numerous recommendations by top child development programs and insti-tutes. For example, the National Association for Sport and Physical Education offers these recommendations for DAILY physical activ-ity levels in preschoolers;

-TURED physical activity (organised by either you or another adult)

hours, of FREE play

time, unless they are sleeping-

puter or playing video games to no more than 1-2 hours per day.

Play on!

Article submitted by the Educational Administration of Harkham Hillel Hebrew Academy

Put aside 15-30 minutes a couple of times a week

to try something new with your child and see

how that goes.


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Jewish Community leaders endorsed

Michael Feuer for Los Angeles City Attorney

in the upcoming City Primary Election

scheduled for Tuesday, March 5th

Mike Feuer is one of California’s leading lawmakers and attor-

neys. A former Majority Policy Leader of the California State Assembly and Chair of the California Assembly’s Judiciary Committee, Mike has writ-ten some of the state’s most important public safety, children’s health, consum-er protection and environmental laws.

Mike previously served for six years on the Los Angeles City Coun-cil, where he wrote some of the tough-est laws in the nation to curb gun vio-lence, fought successfully for anti-gang and after-school programs, and fund-ed jobs for disadvantaged youth. He initiated L.A.’s 3-1-1 non-emergency services system, improving 9-1-1 re-sponse times and making L.A. gov-ernment much more effective. Mike was the Council’s leader on ethics reform and spearheaded business tax reforms. He chaired successful Coun-cil efforts to deliver on-time, balanced budgets and championed the rights of disabled people, senior citizens and children.

Prior to his work on the City Coun-cil, Mike directed one of the nation’s leading public interest law firms, Bet Tzedek Legal Services (The House

of Justice). Under Mike’s leadership, Bet Tzedek helped more than 50,000 indigent, primarily elderly or disabled clients on crucial cases involving nurs-ing home abuse, consumer fraud, access to health care, housing, Holo-caust restitution and more. The Los Angeles Daily Journal wrote that he turned Bet Tzedek into a “national success story,” and named him one of “California’s 100 Most Influential At-torneys.”

Mike has also taught at the UCLA School of Law and the UCLA School of Public Affairs. He practiced law at two of the nation’s leading firms, Huf-stedler, Miller, Carlson & Beardsley and Morrison & Foerster. He began his career as a judicial clerk for Cali-fornia Supreme Court Justice Joseph Grodin.

He has received numerous awards reflecting the breadth of his achieve-ments as a legislator and lawyer. A Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude graduate of Harvard College and cum laude graduate of Harvard Law School, Mike and his wife, Gail Ru-derman Feuer, have been married for twenty-nine years. They have 2 chil-dren, Aaron and Danielle.

Jewish Community Leaders Endorse

Michael Feuerfor City Attorney

(Standing L-R): Doctor Morry Waksberg, MD, L.A. County Commissioner Howard Winkler, Rabbi Mayer May, Doctor Irving Lebovics, DDS, Stanley Treitel, Andrew Friedman, Esq., Zvika Brenner. (Seated): Michael Feuer


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Eat, Drink and Be Merry: A Spiritual CelebrationBY RABBI YEHUDAH PRERO

“For the Conductor, On the Ayeles HaShachar, a psalm by David.” So begins Psalm 22,

which, commentators explain, alludes to Queen Esther and her trials and tribula-tions. The psalm, towards the end of its description of our request for deliverance from exile and persecution, states, “the humble will eat and be satisfied, those who seek Hashem will praise Him...”

Rav Shlomo Kluger explains that this portion of the psalm is alluding to the fact that on Purim, we are commanded to “eat, drink and be merry.” This commandment is in stark contrast with the way we are told to celebrate Chanukah, “to give thanks and praise.” The difference in how we celebrate these two holidays stems from an intrin-sic difference between the miracles that we commemorate on these two holidays.

Every person, we are taught, is born with two inclinations: the “yetzer tov, the “good inclination,” and the “yetzer ho’ra,” the “evil inclination.” These two inclina-tions are in constant battle for our soul, trying to encourage us to either act in ac-cordance with Hashem’s dictates or to dis-regard them. The benefit and pleasures of this world, the physical world, are the tools of the yetzer ho’ra. The promises of eter-nal reward and joy in the World to Come are the munitions of the yetzer tov. Eat-ing and drinking, earthly activities clearly fall within the domain of the yetzer ho’ra. They are methods of enticing a person into forsaking spiritual pursuits in favor of in-stant gratification. Abstinence from these

activities is promoted by the yetzer tov. We are to eat and drink only to the degree nec-essary to sustain ourselves, to provide us with ample strength to serve Hashem.

The salvation of the nation of Israel can come in different ways. There are times where the nation has fought back from op-pression and defeated its enemies. Even af-ter defeat, the enemies remain our enemies, and a threat of persecution lingers. There are situations, however, where we are able to turn the opinion of our enemies. They no longer pose a threat, as they side with the nation and may even offer protection and support.

On Chanukah, we celebrate a victory. The Greeks oppressed the nation of Is-rael. The Chashmonaim fought back, and the Greeks were defeated. However, the Greeks, even after being defeated, still de-spised the Jewish religion and its adherents. They still desired the destruction of the na-tion of Israel. The physical manifestation of the “yetzer ho’ra” was weakened, and we therefore celebrate accordingly: we do not have mandated feasting; rather, we give thinks and praise. We engage in the spiri-tual, to strengthen that aspect of our being, as opposed to engaging in physical expres-sions of celebration. We commemorate the victory of the righteous over the wicked, the pure over the impure, by engaging in activi-ties that are in line with this success.

Purim, however, was different. Achash-verosh, who consented to the initial edict mandating the annihilation of the nation of Israel, reversed himself. The nation was

not only allowed to defend themselves, but offensive measures were permitted and encouraged. Haman, who was a loyal and trusted advisor to the king, ended up as a victim of his own gallows. The physical manifestations of the “yetzer ho’ra” ended up benefiting the nation of Israel. We, therefore, celebrate in similar fashion. We take the implements of the yetzer ho’ra and use them for good. We celebrate and give thanks and praise to Hashem using food and drink. This sort of celebration is not merely recommended; it is obligatory.

Chag Purim Same’ach!

www.torah.org


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Picking Up the Pieces BY YOSSY GOLDMAN

Parshas Ki Sisa

It’s too late. I’m too far gone. It’ll never be the same. How many times have we heard those words? Or, worse still, said them?

This week’s Parshah tells the story of the Golden Calf, the worst national sin in the history of the Jewish people. Frankly, if I were the editor of the Bible I’d have left that part out. How humiliating to the Jews! Just weeks after the greatest revelation of all time, when they saw and heard G-d up front and per-sonal, they go and bow down to a cow?! How fickle can you get? But the Torah is unflinch-ingly honest and records this most unflatter-ing moment of ours in all its gory detail.

Why?Perhaps the very important lessons we

need to draw from this embarrassing episode are, firstly, that people do sin, human beings do make mistakes, and even inspired Jews who saw the divine with their own eyes can mess up -- badly. And, secondly, that even af-terwards there is still hope, no matter what.

In the very same Parshah we read how G-d tells Moses to carve a second set of tablets, to replace the first set he smashed when he came down the mountain and was shocked by what the Jews were up to. (Sort of “You broke them, you fix them” -- like the guy who fell asleep during the rabbi’s ser-mon and the rabbi tells the shamash to go and wake the fellow up. The shamash says, “Rabbi, you put him to sleep, you wake him

up!”) The Torah does not intend to diminish our respect for that generation, but rather to help us understand human frailty, our moral weakness and the reality of relationships, spiritual or otherwise.

G-d gave us a perfect Torah. The tablets were hand-made by G-d, pure and sacred, and then we messed up. So is it all over? Is there really no hope now? Are we beyond re-demption? After all, what could possibly be worse than idolatry? We broke the first two commandments and the tablets were shat-tered into smithereens because we were no longer worthy to have them. It was the ulti-mate infidelity.

So Torah teaches that all is not lost. As bad as it was -- and it was bad -- it is pos-sible for man to repair the damage. Moses will make new tablets. They won’t be quite the same as G-d’s, but there will be Tablets nonetheless. We can pick up the pieces.

I once heard a colleague speak about the significance of breaking the glass under the chupah (wedding canopy). Besides never forgetting Jerusalem and praying for her full restoration, this ceremony teaches a very im-portant lesson about life to a bride and groom who are about to embark on their own new path in life. What happens immediately af-ter the groom breaks the glass? Everyone shouts “Mazel Tov!” The message is clear. Something broke? Nu, it’s not the end of the

world. We can even laugh about it and still be happy. Nisht geferlich. Lo nora. This too shall pass. A very practical, peace-keeping tip for the new couple.

There are most definitely second chances in life. At my Shul we run an adult education program called CAJE, the College of Adult Jewish Education, and the by-line we use in the CAJE logo is Your Second Chance to Know. There are second chances and third chances too. Many Hebrew school drop-outs have passed through our classes and, as adults, learned to read Hebrew from scratch. Today, some of our graduates can even lead the Shul service and I am very proud of them and our program.

It is possible to pick up the pieces in life. Whether it’s our relationships with G-d, our marriage partners, our kids or our colleagues, we can make amends and repair the damage.

If the Jews could recover from the Golden Calf, our own challenges are small indeed.

Rabbi Yossy Goldman was born in Brooklyn, New York. In 1976 he was sent by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory, as a Chabad-Lubavitch emis-sary to serve the Jewish community of Johannesburg, South Africa. He is Senior Rabbi of the Sydenham Shul since 1986, president of the South African Rab-binical Association, and a frequent contributor to Chabad.org. His book ‘From Where I Stand’ - Life Messages from the Weekly Torah Reading was re-cently published by KTAV and is available at Jewish book shops or online www.ktav.vom



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Congress Gearing up for Iron Dome Tribute

BY ARIELLE PLONSKE

New York- In November of 2012, the world’s eyes were fixed on Israel. With over 1,500 rockets from Gaza bearing down on Israeli civilians, a barrage of destruction seemed imminent. However, only 55 rockets fell in urban areas because the rest had been effectively disabled by the Iron Dome anti-missile defense system.

In the late 2000’s, the Iron Dome system was implemented in response to the deci-mating short-range missile attacks from Leb-anon and the Gaza strip. The missile attacks put Israeli citizens in harm’s way and caused many civilian deaths and large-scale evacu-ations during the Second Lebanon War. When missiles were smuggled into Gaza, the problem escalated and became a massive security threat, as a million Israeli civilians live in range of these missiles. In 2007, many defense ideas were proposed but the Israeli Defense Ministry selected the Iron Dome concept, and since then hundreds of millions of dollars have been used to further develop this critical system.

During the recent Israel-Gaza conflict, the Iron Dome had unprecedented success and was responsible for saving the lives of nu-merous innocent men, women and children residing in Southern Israel. Although not responsible for the initial development, with-out the unwavering support of the Obama administration and the U.S. Congress, this

monumental victory would not have been achieved. Since taking office in 2009, the Obama administration strongly advocated and supported the Iron Dome project and collaboratively worked with Congress to en-sure proper funding was allocated to the de-velopment of this system, despite some ob-jection in the defense bureaucracy. In 2011,

Congress approved 205 million dollars in funding for the Iron Dome and later added another 70 million dollars.President Obama said, “This (Iron Dome) is a program that has been critical in terms of providing safety and security for Israeli families.” The President clearly recognized the significance of the Iron Dome system, and over the past several years many American leaders have echoed his sen-timents.

The Iron Dome Tribute event coordi-nated by The Friedlander Group, under the

leadership of its CEO,Ezra Friedlander, will take place in the US Senate on February 27, 2013, promises to be truly unifying for the Jewish community. It is a unique opportunity for Jewish leaders to gather with members of Congress and celebrate a shared triumph. The Iron Dome is a manifestation of the strong U.S.-Israel alliance and is something that those in the pro-Israel community view as a true success.

“I believe that holding the event in Con-gress is a true expression of gratitude on be-half of the American Jewish community and those who value human life. The way I see it, the Iron Dome System primarily accom-plished two significant things: It played a ma-jor role in the Israeli government’s decision against a full-scale ground invasion of Gaza, and it saved the lives of countless civilians by protecting them against a barrage of deadly rockets fired at their neighborhoods and their homes” said Robert Rechnitz, Chair-man of the Iron Dome Tribute.

Prominent Democratic and Republican members of Congress will unite, along with leaders in the Jewish community and Ambas-sador of Israel to the United States Michael Oren, to pay tribute to the success of the Iron Dome anti-missile defense system and cel-ebrate the enduring relationship between the United States and the State of Israel.

“We will also be honoring the memory of

“I believe that holding the event in Congress is a true expression of gratitude on behalf of the American Jewish community and those who value human life.”


the late Senator Daniel Inouye of Ha-waii, who earned iconic status for his steadfast support of Israel and the needs of the Jewish people. Senator Inouye was an extraordinary American patriot and hero who deeply understood the impor-tance of the US-Israel relationship. As chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, Senator Inouye ensured that America’s staunch ally, Israel, had the necessary resources to defend its people,” continued Mr. Rechnitz, who announced that prominent leader in the pro-Israel community, Phil Rosen partner at Weil, Gotshal & Manges will act as MC and he also thanked co-chairman Lee Samson of Beverly Hills, Jona Rechnitz of NYC, Paul Raps, and Stanley Treitel for their leadership.

Many notable speakers will share thoughts on the importance of the vi-brant relationship between the United States and the State of Israel that has recently manifested itself in the out-standing performance of the Iron Dome

Missile Defense System as well as their memories of Senator Inouye. Speakers include House Foreign Affairs Chair-man Ed Royce (R-CA) and Ranking Member Eliot Engel (D-NY), United States Senators: Rand Paul (R-KY), Pat Roberts (R-KS), Brian Schatz (D-HI), Roger Wicker (R-MS), Johnny Isakson(R-GA), James Inhofe (R-OK), Mark Warner (D-VA), Joe Donnelly (R-OH), and Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), United States Representatives Joe Ken-nedy: (D-MA), Trent Franks (R-AZ), Bill Johnson (R-OH), Adam Schiff (D-CA), and Matt Salmon (R-AZ); Ambassador of Israel to the United States Michael Oren, Irene Inouye, wife of the late Senator Daniel Inouye of Ha-waii, and former CIA Director Robert James Woolsey, Jr. Former Comptroller of NYC, William Thompson will also be delivering remarks.

For more information visit: www.thefried-landergroup.com/irondome.

Robert Rechnitz with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu


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learn 8-10 hours a day for the sole purpose of gaining a deeper understanding of Jew-ish texts, laws, customs and life skills. They do receive college credit in some universi-ties.

“We encourage our students to spend a year in Israel because it allows them to solidify their direction in life,” says VTHS Dean Rabbi Avrohom Stulberger. “When you are 17 or 18, and in a spiritual envi-ronment, especially in the Holy Land, it helps you concretize who you are as a Jew and sets a pattern for your future religious commitment.

“We prepare [our students] for the academic rigors of yeshiva and seminary as well as prepare them emotionally and religiously for taking full advantage of this incredible opportunity,” Rabbi Stulberger continues. “We prepare them by stressing the importance of Israel, the importance of learning,” and the urgency of going at this time. “You’ll never have the freedom of thought and lack of pressures that you have in between your high school and col-lege years,” he tells the students.

I met Benjamin, Ariel and Aryeh Is-trin after meeting Deena and two other VTHS girls division graduates during their afternoon breaks on a sunny and un-usually warm December day at the Coffee Bean on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem, a popular gathering spot for seminary and yeshiva students.

The girls, followed by the boys, shared with me why they wanted to spend a year in Israel, what they have gained so far from the experience, how Pillar of Defense af-fected them and how they spend their days.

They all have friends and siblings who have studied in Israel before them and returned home raving about their experi-ences and building up the anticipation for them. “I’ve seen how it changed my siblings for the better,” says Ariel adding that he also “wanted to get a good foundation spiritu-ally and learn how to be independent.”

Bracha Adler (’12) says she “looked up to” the girls she knew who previously at-tended her seminary, Maor. She felt they

had good morals and views on life. Bracha wanted to spend a year in Israel to be in “a non stressful, non college environment to focus on what I want for the future.” Her first time in the country, Bracha says that being in Israel has also given her “a bigger reason to love being Jewish.”

During Pillar of Defense, “We saw how people treated the soldiers and we were proud to be part of it, proud to be Jewish,” explains Bracha who prayed daily for the soldiers’ safety. “We really felt what [the Israelis] are going through…and what it’s like to live on the edge.” Students in the Jerusalem area sought shelter twice during the Operation when sirens blared, warning of a possible rocket attack in the area. Bra-

cha says the experience helped her realize “what to cherish in life…what really mat-ters at the end of the day.”

Sara Leah Rosenbluth (’12) was also moved by the events of that week, especial-ly seeing the reserve soldiers being plucked from their homes and daily routines in school or work and sent to southern Isra-el to defend the country. “Everyone bands together,” she observes. “Being in Israel gives you a whole different outlook on life,” says the Michlala student.

Deena has two brothers and one sister who studied in Israel after high school for one or more years and there was no doubt in her mind that she would follow in their footsteps. She says Israel has helped her get

L to R: Sara Leah Rosenbluth, Deena Rosenblatt, Bracha Adler

L to R: Aryeh Istrin, Benji Israel, Ariel Rahimi


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Parshas Tezaveh-Parshas Zachor

An End to Cynicism!

BY RABBI REUVEN WOLF

This year, the calendar presents us with an interesting sequence of days: on Thursday we will

observe Ta’anis Esther—the Fast of Esther, commemorating how the Jews of Persia showed their support of Mordechai and Esther by fasting and praying penitently for Hashem to rescue them. Then, on Shabbos, we will read in Shul a section in a second Sefer Torah—a section that we are all obliged to hear, meaning, it is a mitzvah for all Jews to hear the reading of this section from Parshas Ki Teizei in Sefer Devarim—that commands us to remember what Amalek tried to do to us, and to vow to eradicate the memory of Amalek from the Earth. This is so important a reading, that the Shabbos is named after it: Shabbos Zachor, the “Shabbos of Rememberance.” We always read this right before Purim, because we know that Haman, the villain who tried to destroy us during the days of Mordechai and Esther, was a descendant of Agag, King of Amalek, whom King Saul failed to execute in a timely way as he had been commanded to when the Israelite army under Saul defeated Amalek. And on the very next day, we celebrate Purim, the occasion of our defeating of Amalek in the days of Mordechai and Esther.

Now, we actually have six things that we specifically have to remember—you

might be surprised to learn that there are only six, but that is the case, and many people recite these “Six Remembrances” every day at the end of the Morning Shacharis prayers: the six remembrances are: the Exodus from Egypt; the giving of the Torah at Sinai; the Sabbath day; the sin of the Golden Calf; the sin of Miriam, the sister of Moshe who spoke against him (and her punishment); and, finally, we are commanded to remember Amalek. While we are commanded to remember these six things, it is only in the case of Amalek that we are all commanded to hear the reading of that portion of the Torah once a year.

Now, we may well wonder this should be the case, and the great commentator on the the Shulchan Aruch, The Code of Jewish Law—Rabbi Abraham Gombiner (who flourished in Poland in the 17th century) says in his masterwork, the Magen Avraham, that the reason Remembering Amalek gets this special treatment is that three of the six Remembrances have entire holidays during which we have ample opportunity to remember: on Pesach we naturally remember the Exodus; on Shavu’os we naturally remember the giving of the Torah at Sinai; and on Shabbos we of course remember Shabbos. Two of the six Remembrances are sad and embar-

rassing—the sin of the Golden Calf and the sin and punishment of Miriam, so that the Rabbis did not want to formally force upon us such depressing Remembrances—it’s enough to note those two in the daily prayers.

But there is still a difficulty: two difficulties, really: In the first place, don’t we have a holiday for Remembering Amalek? Purim! Isn’t the core of Purim the account in the Megilas Esther of how Haman the Amalekite was foiled and how his evil scheme was undone? Why doesn’t that count as Remembering Amalek, making the recitation of the Torah portion out of order on the Shabbos before Purim unnecessary. More than that, the Midrash tells us that Sennacherib “mixed up the nations,” for it was the policy of the Assyrians to displace the nations they conquered and force them to assimilate with foreign populations. This resulted in many ancient nations and peoples “dissolving” into the mottled fabric of human history, and that included nations like Amalek. Sometimes, we identify single individuals or even isolated groups as Amalek, because they display a kind of irrational, maniacal hatred of the Jewish people and they have the degenerate personalities to attempt to carry their demonic plans—but Amalek as an identifiable nation is no


more. So exactly who are we supposed to Remember—who should we remember to eradicate? It seems the vagaries of history have already done that job already and all too well.

But as often happens, the Mitzvah has a spiritual dimension even when the physical reality seems to have made it obsolete. Amalek is a concept—and if we understand what Amalek is, what that little nation (little certainly in comparison to Mitzrayim—ancient Egypt—and even compared with the nations that inhabited the land of Canaan in antiquity) did and what it represents in the world of the spirit, then we can see that Amalek is relevant to us and to the here and now. Let’s take a closer look:

The last verse in Parshas Beshalach, in a short section just after we learn that Moshe built an alter to mark the Israelite victory over Amalek, Moshe says (17:16), Ki yad al keis K-ah —“For the hand [of Amalek] is on G-d’s throne.” Strangely enough, Moshe uses only the first two letters of the name of Hashem, the Yod and the Heih; and then he uses a shortened version of the word for throne or chair: he spells it with a Kaf and a Samach, but the third letter one usually needs to spell the word for throne, or chair, “Kisei”—the Alef—is missing. Then the verse ends: “… for it is an eternal war that the Lord will wage against Amalek from generation to generation”—in other words, eternally.

What did Amalek do that deserved such condemnation by Moshe—even after they disappeared from the world stage? What does Amalek represent—of what is Amalek the perfect example that makes it the symbol of that opposes the values and teachings of Torah—that threatens the fullness of G-d’s name in the world and the completion of His Holy Throne, and that lives on even after they are no longer a sovereign nation? After all, if Amalek is so despicable a nation, wouldn’t one expect Amalek to be challenging all of G-d’s name, not just the second half—fighting against all of the Almighty’s Throne, not just the last letter?

But let’s look at the name “Amalek” itself: it is comprised of two words: Am, which means “nation”, and Molak, which means “decapitation”—cutting the head off and separating the head from the body, especially the heart. This is the essence of Amalek: it is dedicated to creating a severance, a separation between the head and the body, or, more accurately, between the mind and the heart. When Amalek attacked the Israelites in the Wilderness, they had already seen the most powerful nation and army on Earth—the army of Pharaoh and Egypt—fall before the Israelites by the Hand of Hashem. The nations of the world trembled when they heard about this. What chance could they have, they said, against a nation that can vanquish Egypt? None!

But along came Amalek—a people with even less of a chance against such a power than the nations of Canaan. And yet, they attacked. Why? Because they wanted to show a deep-rooted cynicism about the majesty of Israel. They attacked out of sheer stubbornness and cynicism—“let us show,” they said, “That a nation can have the temerity, the chutzpah, to attack such a nation even when it has no chance of victory.” There was no logic or reason to it—it was for all appearances a suicide mission. Yet

they did it, and for only one reason: as an act of mockery—a pointless gesture that would have only one result: that others with no more a chance of withstanding the power of G-d and the Holiness of Israel would also challenge Israel and do the same thing, even if it meant having their destruction. Amalek cannot succeed in battling Hashem, but it can cause people to forget to allow their heads to inform and instruct their hearts.

Don’t we know a great deal about this “insanity,” this idiotic display of chutz-pah that drives us to do things we know to be foolish and harmful—just to spite ourselves? Aren’t we continually sever-ing the connection between our heads and our hearts—embarking on hope-less journeys to failure and disaster, even when we know it will end just that way? And yet we do it—why? That is the spir-it of Amalek at work. When the Yetzer Hara—the Evil Inclination—runs out of all his tricks and devices to lead us astray, he pulls out one more tool: the cynicism of Amalek. That is the last desperate battleground of the soul. Just when we are ready to do the right thing—we run headlong into disaster. The battle against such cynical self-destruction is a battle worth fighting. And that is what we re-member on this Shabbos.

Don’t we know a great deal about this “insanity” that drives us to do things we know to be foolish and harmful—just to spite ourselves?

Homemade Candy for PurimMELINDA STRAUSS

Homemade candy is a wonderful treat any time of the year and it’s especially delightful when you can share it with your friends

and family in your shalach manot. Who needs a shalach manot theme when you can just impress everyone with your homemade sweet con-fections?!? But don’t worry, you don’t have to be a professional baker or candy maker to create these sweet treats this year. I’ve put together a list of tips that will make the process safe and simple. Once you’ve got your technique down, try out some of my easy-to-follow candy recipes and let me know what you think!

CANDY MAKING TIPS:

Get to know your thermometers: If you want to try making your can-dy without a thermometer, you might want to think again. Sure, many recipes will tell you to look for a certain color or texture but unless you’ve made that candy recipes dozens of times, chances are your candy won’t cook correctly. There are many types of candy thermometers on the market. Clip-on glass, clip-on glass with a rectangular metal casing, and digital instant-read thermometers. Clip-on thermometers are best because you can keep an eye on the temperature as it is rising. With a digital instant-read thermometer, it will give you an accurate tempera-ture as soon as it touches the surface but you will have to guess when it’s time to check and when it comes to candy, temperature is everything.

Cleaning your candy thermometer: If you’re using a glass candy ther-mometer (my personal favorite), you want to be careful not to crack the glass. After removing it from the boiling sugar, place the thermom-eter into a cup of warm water to dissolve the sugar crystals stuck to the glass. Place the thermometer upright to dry and store upright in a room-temperature cabinet.

Don’t burn the chocolate: There are two methods for tempering (care-fully heating and cooling) chocolate. You can melt chocolate over indi-rect heat using a double boiler or melt in the microwave. Both methods work well and both are simple to do. For the double boiler method, place a metal bowl over a pot of simmering water but make sure the bottom of the bowl doesn’t touch the water. Stir the finely chopped chocolate with a rubber spatula until smooth. To temper the chocolate in the microwave, place the chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl. Warm

the chocolate in the microwave for 30 seconds then remove the bowl and stir the chocolate. Warm for another 30 seconds then stir again. Warm one last time for 30 seconds in the microwave then stir until the melted chocolate is combined. Don’t warm the chocolate any further or it will be too hot and might burn.

Dipping chocolate: Many recipes call for candy (and fruit) dipped in chocolate. You don’t need special tools for this process, just two forks. Place the candy on one fork and dip in the tempered chocolate until it is completely covered. Remove the chocolate with the two forks and let the excess chocolate drip off before placing the candy on parchment paper to harden.

The freezer is your friend: If you are making candy but don’t have the patience to wait for the chocolate or candy center to harden, just place it in the freezer for 15 minutes to set.

Follow directions: When a recipe tells you that the candy should be 342 degrees Fahrenheit, it might seem like a strange request but you should listen. There is science involved in candy making so your best bet is to just follow the rules. When a recipe tells you to bring the sugar to a boil slowly, this is also a good time to listen. You will scorch the sugar before it has a chance to cook correctly. Candy recipes are not forgiving to recipe changes. The acidity, texture, moisture and other fac-tors could affect the recipe and when you exchange one ingredient for another, it may not work in the same way.

And the most important tip of all: SUGAR IS HOT! Please don’t forget that when you are stirring, whisking, and pouring the hot cooked sugar.

Reprinted with permission from www.joyofkosher.com.


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JOIN OUR ILLUSTRIOUS SPEAKERSRabbi Yossi (YY) Jacobson • Rabbi Avraham Lieberman • Mr Howard Tzvi Friedman

Rabbi Binyomin Ginsberg Director of the children’s learning curriculum program

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