Communication Skills

Ever feel like this???https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=K0Jg7pvVzKk

Perception

Ways We CommunicateTalkingNon-verbalListeningElectronically

◦Texting◦Social Media (Snapchat, Twitter, etc.)

Communication Survey1. Your mom just told you that you have to baby-sit

your little sister instead of going to the football game. You say…

a) “I feel upset because you didn’t ask me until now, and I already have plans to go to the game.”

b) Nothing. Your sad face is enough to let mom know that you are really upset about this.

c) “You always make me baby-sit! Especially when I already have plans!”

2. When you are in a conversation with somebody else you…

A) Pay attention to everything the person has to say and occasionally add bits and pieces to the conversation.

B) Listen very well, but usually remain quiet.

C) Listen well most times, but occasionally you interrupt the person with whom you are talking.

3. Your best friend just told you she tried marijuana for the first time. “It just makes me feel so good,” she says. Her parents just got divorced and you know that she is really struggling. It would be best to respond by:

A) Telling your friend that even though she is experiencing some trials, using marijuana will only cause more problems.

B) Realize that even though you feel that using marijuana is wrong, your friend really has had it tough. What’s best for some isn’t always best for everybody.

C) Say, “Are you stupid or something? I can’t believe you would be so dumb to even consider using drugs!”

4. You have been asked to work with a very smart student on an assignment in class. Although you try hard, the material is too difficult and the other student ends up doing most of the work. Your response:

A) “Thanks so much for helping me with the assignment, I really appreciate you helping me to understand better.”

B) “I’m sorry that I am so dumb! I wish I could have helped you more. Hopefully I won’t have to bother you again.”

C) Nothing. People who are really smart are just nerds who study all the time.

5. When you are in an argument, you usually:

A) Speak clearly and confidently.

B) Mumble, become nervous and can’t look the other person in the eye.

C) Yell or refuse to speak.

Mostly A’s = Assertive communicatorMostly B’s = Passive communicator

Mostly C’s = Aggressive communicator

Passive communication —holding back your true feelings and going along with the other person’s opinions.

Usually more timid and reserved and unable to stand up for their rights

Going with the flow

Aggressive communication — expressing one’s opinions, beliefs and values with little or no regard for others

May seem threatening or disrespectful.

Oftentimes manipulative or demeaning

Passive-Aggressive communication — deliberate, yet covert way of expressing anger in a way that subtly but surely “gets back at” someone.

“Taking a jab” at someone

Assertive communication —expressing true feelings in a way that does not threaten the other person or make them feel anxious.

Speaking your mind and inviting others to do likewise

The best form of communication◦ Utilizes “I-messages”

and reflective listening

KEY COMPONENT OF BEING ABLE TO SAY NO!!!

Signs of Unhealthy CommunicationDishonestyMismatched words and body

gesturesInterrupting and BlamingUsing a negative toneComparingBelittlingControlling

Being an Assertive Communicator“I-Messages” Taking responsibility for our feelings

◦NOT conveying blame on others for our feelings

Encourages open communication by describing true feelings◦Examples

“This is how I feel when…” “This is how I see it…” “This is what I think…”

Active ListeningGiving complete attention and

conveying understanding by using either verbal or nonverbal means

Don’t think about the experiences and insights that you want to add

Focus on what the other person is saying and convey sympathy, respect, acceptance, and encouragement

You might prompt the speaker to continue

Reflective ListeningConsists of paraphrasing and

verbalizing unexpressed feelings to seek more information

Verbalizing unexpressed feelings

◦Examples: “Are you saying that…?” “Did it make you feel…?”

Passive ListeningAttentively listening without

talking or directing the speaker in any nonverbal ways

When they need to feel free to develop and express thoughts without interruption

Let’s Practice our Communication Skills! 1 person explaining, 1 drawing

Can only use basic shapes (line, circle, square, etc. to explain)

Trying to get as close to the original picture as possible

Person drawing should be facing AWAY from the projector

Non-verbal Communication*93% of a message’s credibility is

communicated nonverbally.55% = body language

38% = tone, pitch, and voice inflection

7% = words**It’s not WHAT you say, but HOW

you say it**

Body LanguageSending mixed messages?

◦When the spoke words and the body language or tone of voice do no match

We tend to believe the nonverbal over the spoken message

Understanding Body LanguageRunning Charades

Electronic CommunicationLack of body language or voice

inflection can lead to misinterpretations

Hiding behind a screen ◦Saying things you wouldn’t usually

say to people’s face (cyber bullying)

Learn how to carry on a conversation with a person face-to-face!