Ezee Pezee

S k i l l s

Effective Communication

Effective Communication

for SMART KIDS

Skillizenc-402, Nirvana Courtyard, Nirvana Country, Gurgaon

www.skillizen.com

First published by Skillizen Text copyright Skillizen 2014

Authored By: Anup Pandey

Skillizen asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved

Available as an ebook

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent,

resold, hired out, circulated, and no reproduction in any form, in whole or in part (except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews) may be made without written permission of the publishers.

Contents

Chapter: 1 5Lets explore ourselves 5Activity 1: 8

Chapter: 2 12Tell mom and dad what you want 122:1 The magic word PLEASE 24Activity 2: 252:2 Listen, understand, listen, talk 292:3 Lay your case well 36

Chapter 3: 42How to make friends in school 423:1 Greet 443:2 Behaviour in school 493:3 Once a friend always a friend 52

Chapter 4: 73The Hello code 73

Chapter 5: 88Pets, pets and pets 88Activity 3: 95

Chapter 6: 101Writing letters is fun!! 10161 Start to write 10562: Format 10963: Application Letters 11464: Letters to friends 11765: Angry Letters 12066: Thank you letter 125

Chapter 7: 129What have you learnt 129

Chapter 8: 132Lets play 132Activity 4: 132

5Chapter: 1

Lets explore ourselves

We generally know what we like What we do not know is what people like in us We hear our mothers, teachers and friends praising us for small deeds

6we do, and we really enjoy them We do it now and again, so we may get the appreciation again However, before we know, the appreciation converts into an opinion and then we are expected to behave the same way forever

7It only makes us a good person and becomes a part of our being They become our attributes

8Activity 1:

Lets list down our good and bad attributes Take a paper and a pencil and list down 5 good and 5 bad attributes of yourself If you get confused, take help of your parents

9Once you have it all listed, analyse what actions you do to make your attributes For example, if you write that you are polite, analyse what you do that people or you think so Do you smile often? Do you use words like please, may I and thank you often? Think about the gestures you make while you

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talk Do this for all the attributes you have listed You will realize all your attributes are mainly based on your actions or words

The things that you say or do are very important With what you say and do, people form opinions about you

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You make an impression, which in turn, builds up your personality These actions and words that one shares with others is called communication A good communication is much needed to make yourself understood well and also make good impressions

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Chapter: 2

Tell mom and dad what you want

Mom and Dad are the best people in this world But many a times even our best

people fail to understand what we want There must be so many instances when

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you really wanted something and they said no How badly you wanted that pair of skates, but mommy just said no How

much you wanted to visit your friends house, but daddy just refused to take

you there and got angry

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My friend Sam also had same thoughts, but see what happened

Sam was a 9 year old boy, who lived with his parents His parents wanted him to be very organized and so they

gave him a routine to follow He would come back from school and rest for

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a while after lunch After which, he would do homework and then go out to play He had to attend an evening class for music, post which he would have his

dinner and sleep

Life was good until one day his friend Bobby told him that there was a circus

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in his town and that it was the best circus show ever Sam kept thinking

about the circus the entire day

He wanted to go and see what it would be like So, he decided to go

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However, in heart of heart, Sam knew that if he told his parents that he would

have to skip one of the routine tasks for circus, he would not be allowed to

go Sam though and thought

He, ultimately concluded, that he will bunk his music class in evening and go to

the circus, without telling his parents

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Next evening, Sam took a different course He kept his pocket money in his

pocket and instead of going to the music class, went to the circus ground Little

did he know, that he was being followed by a man, who wanted to snatch all his pocket money from him and run away

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On a lonely road before the grounds, the man behind caught hold of Sam

Sam was timid and he got utterly frightened He wanted to scream, but there was no one around to save him He was so scared, that he could not

even struggle to run away The big man snatched all his pocket money and

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pushed Sam to the ground and left Sam started crying He was scared and missed his parents Crying he fled from

there and came back home

When Sams mother saw him crying and bleeding, she became very concerned

and anxious She took him in her arms

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and consoled him Sam felt sorry for what he had dome He told his mother

all that had happened and said, Mamma, will you please forgive me this time I would never do anything like this

again His mother had tears in her eyes when she said, Son, had you told me once, I would have let you know that

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your father and I already got tickets for the circus show on Sunday

Sam felt very guilty

That late evening, when Sams father came back home, Sam told him the

entire story and said, Daddy, will you please forgive me this time and still

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take me to circus on Sunday? Sams father smiled and nodded

The next Sunday was the best day of Sams life He enjoyed the circus

show with his parents and had also realized how important it is to

communicate with parents

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2:1 The magic word PLEASE

The one who designed language, created a magic word PLEASE This word has powers you cannot imagine When used at the right places, it can do wonders,

specially with elders We may find it difficult to believe Let us try it out and

see for ourselves

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Activity 2:

Pick any random person you would want to try it with Also think of a small

task like fetching a glass of water for you Now ask the person to do the task

without using please

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For example, Mommy, get me water Now observe the reaction Repeat the same activity after a couple of hours,

but this time use the magic word

Say, Mommy, can you please get me some water? Observe the reaction

You may repeat this activity with various people and various tasks

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You will see, frowns turning into smiles and harsh words turning to soft

appreciation or surprise Your task would be done mostly when you use

the magic word Please adds to your politeness multi folds and it is hard to

refuse to politeness When you use the magic word, you show respect to the

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fellow you are using it with Please also communicates your urgency for getting the task done Now when you tell your parents what you want, ask with a big

smile and put the magic word in You will see a lot of changes

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2:2 Listen, understand, listen, talk

To convey your inner feelings in the right manner, it is important to LISTEN

Strange, as it may sound, but by listening to others, we can really make our conversation more convincing and

appropriate We must listen To listen, we must stay quite and concentrate on

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the person who is talking Once the person has stopped talking, we must

think about it and understand whatever has been said In case, some part is not

understood well, we should ask again and listen When you have listened well and understood, your own conversation will

turn effective and relevant

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Let us consider an example Following is a conversation between two brothers,

elder brother named Adam and younger brother named James

Adam: Have you seen my shoes James? The one

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James: Ya, saw them yesterday

Adam: Where?

James: Mom was donating it to someone

Adam: WHAT? They were my new shoes

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James: No, they were torn

Adam: Which shoes are you talking about?

James: The red ones

Adam: Oh James, I wasnt asking

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about them I was almost going to fight with mom

Only if James would have listened to his brother before assuming and answering,

it would have saved all the confusion This may happen to bigger things in

life and may cause a lot of harm too

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Therefore, we should practice the art of listening It not only helps us make

clever conversation, but also increases out knowledge base

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2:3 Lay your case well

Most parents work, if not professionally, they are working at

home Elder people are preoccupied with a lot of things at different points of

time The have to do a lot of work in a day, which leaves them little free time

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Children often wonder why parents do not have patience at all times However,

if you want to convey your feelings to your parents, or make a request, or

just simply say something to them, it is important that you lay your case well

Always choose a time when thy are relatively free and in a positive mood

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If you see them offended, choose another time Give a context to

whatever you have to say If you add a reason to what you are saying always

helps others understand better Choose your words rightly Try keep your

conversation to the point and avoid beating around the bush If you are

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making a request, make use of words like please, ,may I and like If you are interrupting them, use words like

excuse me, Can I take a minute, I am sorry, I am interrupting, but may I? Dinning table is generally a good

place to tell your parents about how your day has passed It is a place where

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you can also learn more and more about your parents, brothers and sisters

You must always confide in your parents If you do so, you will soon find yourself

having a very good time with them And more so, your parents have a right to know about you and your

whereabouts

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Always smile and be polite As a young member of your family, it is important for you to maintain decorum and make

your parents proud of you In the informality of the home, we generally forget to be polite to our own family

Remember, a good person begins goodness from home

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Chapter 3:

How to make friends in school

Do you make a lot of friends? Are you popular in your school? Are you the quite one? While you answer these questions in your mind, you would realize

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how important it is to start off with an elementary conversation, and how difficult it looks to do so, specially with people you are meeting for the first time, or people you do not really know We need friends and good ones Therefore we need to approach

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3:1 Greet

A greeting need not always be a day indicator A greeting may convey the following:

I acknowledge your presence I respect you

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I adore you Your presence makes me happy Your presence is important and like

If not greeted in the right way, a greeting may convey something entirely opposite Hence, you must keep in mind the ways of greeting

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There are different ways in which you may greet a person

Formal greeting- We all know formal greeting In school, we wish our teachers good morning, good afternoons, and good evenings Greeting like these are generally

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offered to people like teachers, principles and other seniors When meeting very senior people, we do very formal greeting with them, like good day, sir, a very good afternoon, madam

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Informal greetings- this type of greeting is used for friends and younger people When we meet our friends, we say hello or hi to them There are various slangs that we use with our friends too, like howdy, yo and wazzup

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3:2 Behaviour in school

No one likes bullies It might give you a little tingle for a while, but it will leave you with no friends at the end of the day Be friendly, not bossy Try to reach out your fellow students and help them You must learn to appreciate others

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Only goodness attracts goodness It is eminent to understand that all children have different abilities Everyone is unique You must recognize your talent and feel good about it At the same time, always remember to appreciate others talents You will always make good friends with children you respect

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and vise versa You must never carry tales about friends or back chat about them with anyone You should be kind and courteous at all times and you are sure to be popular in your school and have plenty of friends

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3:3 Once a friend always a friend

There was a girl once, named Julia, who used to be the only child of her parents At home, she grew up lonely and quiet Then the time came, when she had to go to school She was excited, but at the same time, she was scared

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How would she adjust with all the other children, she thought What if they do not like her, and avoid her, were questions that were filling her mind The day came, and she went to school In her class, there were many children, all talking and chatting with each other She stood by the door thinking

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what to do next A sweet looking girl, suddenly waved at her and called her to sit next to her Julia smiled and went to the sweet girl and sat next to her Hi, my name is Purple, and you are? Julia, she said and looked at Purple in amaze She instantly liked her and felt comfortable in her company Purple was

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going to be Julias first friend Julia was happy Her next few days in school were happily spent with Purple sitting right next to her and talking to her all day long They studied and played together They even shared their lunch and became very very close

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One day, their teacher told them that there is going to be a competition of art based on which the students will get scholarships for the coming year in school Purple was very excited about the news She told Julia that day, that her parents were not as rich as Julias and found it difficult to pay her fee in school

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She was good in arts and she wanted o win th competition to win the scholarship, so she may continue school ad also ease her parents from the school expenses Julia was impressed with her friends thought and she adored her all the more Julia wondered how Purple could think so responsibly at

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such a tender age and with all her problems at home, still be such a wonderful person

In the competition, the students were asked to make a file of artworks on various topics and make a submission in a given date, a week from then

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Julia also participated in the competition merely to cheer up Purple and also to be able to spend more time with her Purple was indeed an amazing artist and Julia grew more impressed with her talents She totally adored her friend for her talents and appreciated her Purple also appreciated Julias

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sense of color and helped her in area where she was weak Both of them completed a beautiful file of artworks in time and were ready to enter the competition

On the day of the submission, when Purple came to school, Julia was uneasy to see her friend Purple walked empty

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handed with tears in her eyes Julia was very concerned When asked, Purple told Julia that on her way to school, she opened her watch to keep in her bag, because she was feeling itchy

Someone saw her doing it He followed Purple, and eventually snatched her school bag from her and ran away

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Julia understood how scared her friend must be and she tried to console her with a hug Purple sobbed, Julia, my artwork submission was in the bag Julia mind was numb for a minute She knew how important it was for Purple to be in that competition

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She knew that her friend was more upset because she lost her file than her watch

The day ended and all students submitted their art files, except Purple She was very sad the whole day and Julia did not leave her side Purple knew

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she will not be able to help her parents this year Julia consoled her and inspired her to keep trying and assured Purple that there will be more chances

A week passed and both friends grew over the incident The class teacher announced that the results of the

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competition were put up on the notice board The teacher also declared that the winner was very deserving and that she was very happy for the winning student She then looked toward Purple and Julia and smiled

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After class, everyone ran toward the notice board to see the results, except Julia who sat with Purple Purple insisted and had to drag Julia to see results, since she had also participated Julia said that she did not think she was as good as to be anywhere in the competition However, when they read

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the board, they both dropped their mouths open The winners name was written in bold, PURPLE MARTIN Purple looked at Julia and looked at her bewildered expression Julia, in shock said, I could never imagine that I could win this competition Purple instantly knew what her friend had done

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Julia submitted her file with Purples name on it and withdrew her participation Though Julia herself did not believe that she was good enough to win this competition and expect in the least that her name would be there, but whatever chances there were, she wanted her friend to have them

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Purple had tears in her eyes and she hugged Julia with all her heart Julia, hugged her back, feeling proud to have won a friend for life They both knew, this friendship is for keeps and they would be together for life

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True friendship is a rare gift When you make a friend, you choose a person to share your life with It is important you choose your friends wisely and then do everything to keep them Always be polite with your friends You must be by their side at all times You must communicate well

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with your friends and never tell on them When you smile and talk, you emit warm feelings Sharing is a beautiful experience amongst friends, from lunch to feelings When your friend share their heart with you, never laugh at them Instead listen to them and understand Appreciate your friends

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and their talents Remember, a hug now and then conveys affection and also communicates your love for your friend

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Chapter 4:

The Hello code

Who must it be, on the other side Let the tring tring of the phone decide

Wonder how it stores the voices all And carries it through wires and wall

No I dont miss my friends no way For they are always a phone call away

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Did you know that once there were no phones and mobile phones A landline

phone used to be a luxury and only found in rich mens houses Strange

it may sound to you, but not long ago, there did not exist a mobile phone at

all Even so when your own parents were young

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Nowadays, mobile phones are common You were born with one around you

This gadget is a wonderful source of communication, but it still has its

limitations, since it is a machine

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Let us see what we must do when on phone

1 Always introduce yourself first When you call, the other end cannot

see you It is eminent that they know who they are talking to and what is

the purpose of the call

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Hello Mr Gupta May I please speak to Divya for a while? I needed an update on

school homework, if you do not recognize the voice on other end, make sure you confirm your number and get it right

Then ask who you are speaking to after introducing yourself Guess who, is silly,

unless you are wanting to appear so

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2 The way you give our name defines our personality If you are talking to a stranger, you should give out

your full name If you are talking to someone younger or someone your age, you may use your first name

A gentle boy calling a lady or a girl would never say Mr Ravi, but Ravi

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Do not include mister or master before your name unless it is a

formal call to a senior

3 Always ask when you receive When you receive a phone, always ask the

other person politely their name and purpose of call It will be easier for

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you to convey message to others or entertain call on your own, Hello, May I please know who is calling? Who would you like to speak to?

An abrupt who is it, is very rude

4 Always smile When you are on phone, remember the other person can hear your smile When you smile and talk,

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it carries a happy sound on the other end and conveys to the other person

that you are happy to talk?

5 The tone of voice is more important than usual These mobile phones and

land line phones are very advanced and can carry your voice pretty clear

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and loud, even if the call is across countries Always remember to keep

your volume moderate Do not scream on phone Speak at a moderate speed, neither too slow, nor too fast, so the

other person may understand you clearly Always emphasize on words

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6 It is good to time your call How inconvenient would you feel if

someone calls you while you are sleeping or eating Also, if it is a

social call, it is always a good idea to ask the other person if he /she is

free to chat If the person you want is not in, do not mumble oh and hang

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up Instead say, Okay, I will call back later

7 It is generally upto the one who called to terminate the conversation Sometimes, if you have to terminate the call as a receiver, you must do so with suitable apologies Always say,

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thank you for the call, or bye for now

8 If you get a wrong number, always apologize It leaves a very good impression of you If in case u

receive a wrong number, it is always good to inform the other immediately

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that this is a wrong number, politely It is never a good idea to talk

unnecessarily to a stranger Never give out your personal details to

strangers on phone

9 Never talk in a mobile phone when it is on charge Never ever open or

use someone elses mobile phones

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without permission Mobile phones are personal gadgets holding a lot of

personal information

Always remember, telephones and mobile phones are communication tools

and should be used judiciously

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Chapter 5:

Pets, pets and pets.

Pets are your best friends at home They keep you company, love you unconditionally and are there with you whenever you need them Did you know

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there is a lot you can learn from your pets too Pets communicate to us We get to know when they are hungry, when they are restless and when they are angry They do not use words What they use is body language and face expressions As said rightly, actions speak louder than words

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How easy it is to understand what a person is feeling from the faces and expression If someone frowns and says okay, we know that there is no will to say so If one raises a brow, we know there is doubt It is thus very essential to have the right face expression to convey the right feeling This is then

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accentuate with body language There are a lot of actions you must be doing without knowing, like biting on nails, shaking your legs and fighting with your dress There are some actions you do deliberately

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If you notice your pets, you will see a lot of actions thy do to get your attention or to convey certain things when a dog wags his tail, we know he is happy When a dog is hungry, they come close to you and stare at you with a face, that we often call a puppy face When a cat is angry, it scratches

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When a dog miss his master, he would sulk and avoid food You can see a lot of actions resemble human actions

When we frown, we convey unhappiness When we sob or sulk, we convey sadness or dissatisfaction When we shakes legs, it shows we are restless

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Activity 3:

List out some activities or actions you do unconsciously and consciously Find out what impressions they give out from friend and family Take help of your school teachers also

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For laying a good impression on people, you must know some good body postures Lets consider the following

1 When elders enter a room, you must stand It shows you respect them

2 Always smile when you meet someone To show regard, bow your head a little

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3 Always look in the eye of the person you are talking to

4 Never make faces while talking to anyone

5 When good girls stand, they have their feet together, knees joined Boys stand straight

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6 While sitting, a girl should have her knees joined or legs crossed over A gentle boy would sit with legs together, upright

7 While eating, do not make noise with cutlery plates Making sound while chewing is really bad

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8 When you sneeze or cough, always cover your mouth

9 When you are standing in a group of people, look attentive

10 You must not twitch your legs and hands ever

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11 Talking in whispers when others are present is a very bad thing to do

Everyone wants to be liked and wanted This is what makes us social animals We want o be accepted by all, hence it is important that we accept others and understand them as well

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Chapter 6:

Writing letters is fun!!

If a friend wrote to you a letter in his own hand writing or from his personal

email, wouldnt it be exciting? It is always good to hear from a friend, but

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when you have a letter, you can go back to the feeling again and again A letter can be for keeps Writing letters is an

art When you write, you really think choose the right words before you pen

them down and you can express much more beautifully than when you talk on phone More over, there are instances

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when you would rather write and communicate than talk face to face

To write a letter, you do not need to wait for inspirations Writing can be

as easy as saying it When you want to write, just pick and pen and paper and imagine the person sitting next to u in the room You may write exactly what

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you feel You may also pep up a letter with sketches, cartoons and clipping

It will add your personal touch to the letter A spontaneous one paragraph is always better than a twenty five page effort In a letter, you may talk about

yourself and happenings around you Try to avoid boring gossip

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Let us try some letter writing styles

6.1 Start to write

It is good to start a letter with something that will lead on a reader

If you have some unpleasant information, you should not be abrupt

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with it Consider this,

Dear Daddy,

I broke the glass of your car Instead, if you lead the reader like this,

Dear Daddy,

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You ve been the best dad and always forgiven me for my mistakes I have to confess that the other day, when I was playing in the area outside your garage,

the ball hit the glass of your car and it broke It was an accident and purely unintentional, and so on While it is

important to give important information, it is totally unnecessary to go into

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gruesome details Keep your letters brief and to the point When changing

subject, change your paragraph and give a warning g that you are changing the topic It os good to have an agenda in

mind for the letter when you begin

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6.2: Format

As a rule, the letter has to have address on the top left of the sheet In case of emails, you need not write

the address The letter should be addressed to the person who the letter

is for, with a care of the person the

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receiver is living with

Ms Reeni Mathur, C/O, Mr Shiv Mathur

House no:-50, Lodhi Road, New Delhi-1xx x08

The address should be a part of your leave applications at school also,

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addressed to the Class Teacher or The Principal, whoever it is for The letter

must also have a date It may be on the top right or the bottom right or left

It is a good idea to have the date written in full, instead of using

numerical only Writing July 16th, 2014 is better than 16/07/2014

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The next step is salutation The letter begins with Dear Mr, or Respected Madam, in case of formal letters For

friends you may use their names and be more friendly like Dearest Sheena, or

My dear Dev The letter then extends into the main content It

eventually ends with a your faithfully,

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or your obedient student, in case of formal letters For friends you may use

words like wishes, with love, and like In some letters, they write return addresses These can be written on the envelope back If you intend to give the

address to the reader only, so that they can write back, one may include the

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return address at the bottom center of the letter

6.3: Application Letters

In application letters, the content must be very precise and to the point In

such letters, you need not lead a reader to a point but reach the point straight

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away Such letters would generally state the purpose and then the reason

In application letters, one need to be very polite It is imperative to

include dates and details in such letters for records

A leave application in school may read

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like, I am requesting you to please grant me leave from Monday, June

20th, 2014 to Saturday, June 25th, 2014 I have a wedding in my close

family for which I have to travel to another city with my parents

and so on

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6.4: Letters to friends

These are the easiest and most interesting type of letters You can be as creative and open as you want to be in these letters All you need to do is imagine you friend and write anything

you would have said in person

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However, it is a good idea to re read the letter before you post it Even if you are very open with your friends, it is

not advisable to write complaints about anyone else in the letter You may keep

collecting notes and clipping to add to your letter to make it more interesting

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Some people make pen pals Pen pals are letter friends They do not meet

each other but know each other through letters In todays times of the

internet, we may have email friends Making such a friend is interesting,

however, you must always keep in mind

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not to share very intimate details, or family details to such friends in written

6.5: Angry Letters

It is a brilliant idea to write a letter to the person you are angry with The best way to write such a letter is to just put

down everything that comes to your

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mind, the way it appears Then SLEEP OVER IT It is good o vent out your anger on a paper But do not post it

Keep the letter with you until you cool down Then when you would re read the

letter, you would probably realize you do not feel the same way anymore If it

is so, it is wiser to re write the letter

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In a letter of this sort, be careful about the words you use You need not

be very harsh Instead, try to begin the letter with a praise and end it in similar

way, if possible, somewhat like:

Dear Aisha,

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It is not often that I have to complain about your behaviour in class In fact, I admire your ability to do so many things together However, it is likely that you

did not realize that while you do your work, there is dust and paper left on my

chair, which is right next to you and so on and end it like,

I hate to bring this thing up, and

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I would not have unless this hi was troubling me the way it is I am definite

you do not intend to trouble me and would help me come out of this, since

I know you as a kind and helping person You must not snap directly at friends,

neighbours or anyone you are angry with Be meticulous with your writing

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and convey the angriest feelings in the politest way

6.6: Thank you letter

Thank you letter are sent after receiving presents, a special favour or

after being a house guest A short note

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of thank you really counts If you stay over night to a friends place, it is good

to write a letter to the lady of the house thanking her to let you stay over and make the evening special When you

are thanking someone for a gift, it is good to personalize it with details like how you felt when you saw or used the

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gift, when was the first time you used it, and how wonderful it feels to have

the gift

Consider the following example

Dearest Sarika,

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I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful

dress you gave me for my birthday I always wanted a dress like this and

the color is just perfect I wore it to Sunainas birthday and got a lot of compliments for it Thank you again

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Next time, when you come, you will see how your gift males me look pretty

Thank you again

Wishes, Roli

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Chapter 7:

What have you learnt

We are social animals and we need to communicate to survive Think of people who cannot talk or hear How difficult it must be for them to

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survive Communication ability is a gift to you It is your imperative duty to make it best and keep it polished Communication is the key to a happy and successful life It moulds your personality and plays a major role in framing the kind of person you will grow up to be

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Verbal communication and non verbal communication are both as important Talking right is as important as expressing it right When you write, the use of right words and expressions is essential

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Chapter 8:

Lets play

Activity 4:

Let us play this little game of communication You may play the

game with family members as well as

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friends You have to use any mode of communication to say one thing about the person you choose from amongst

the playmates For example, if you choose to communicate to your mom

that the dinner was yummy last night, you may choose a piece of paper to

write on it Then you have to hide the

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paper at a place where your mother has access and announce to all playmates

that the communication is about dinner Now the playmates have to guess who it

would be for and look for the chit Once the member finds the

communication, a return communication has to be sent along with a forward

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communication For example, when your mother finds the chit, she has to thank

you back for complimenting her using any form of communication, like, she

might bake you a cake She would also have to make a forward communication,

like you have done earlier, using another mode of communication

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You will end up communicating with each other using different modes It is a fun game to stay connected Using the right

mode and tools, you can also play this game with members who live far away

from you Like, try dropping a telephone message for someone who does not live

with you

137

Have fun playing and polishing your communication skills

Have a happy communication.