Communication and

Conflict Management in Special Education

DoDEA Fort Campbell, KY

March 9-10, 2010

Philip Moses, Assistant DirectorAnita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist

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“Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training.”

-- Anna Freud

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Priorities

• Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills

• Implement effective dispute resolution processes

• Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration

• Assist states to implement dispute resolution provisions of IDEA

• Support improved state system performance

• Compile information and data on state systems

• Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution

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Major ActivitiesCADRE Website

Over 900 individual resources

CADRE Continuum of Process & PracticesOver 70 individual state/local ADR examples

RAISE DataBaseOver 240 abstracted research/practice articles

Symposia Gallery ~ All presentations materials from 2005 National Conference on IEP Facilitation & 2006 National Symposium on Dispute Resolution in Special Education

Español9 translated resources, primarily directed at family members

Rich MediaFlash videos on CADRE, Listening Skills, Understanding Interests

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Major Activities (cont)Developing Community, Creating Partnerships & Leveraging Resources

NPTAC/RPTAC/State PTIs/CPRCsNASDSE/IDEA Partnerships/Project FORUMNICHCY – National Dissemination CenterRRCs/Dispute Resolution WorkgroupCOP Listservs: Mediation/ADR, State Written Complaints, Due Process Hearings

National SymposiaFirst National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2000)Beyond Mediation: The Second National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2002)Moving Upstream: The Third National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2004)National Symposium on IEP Facilitation (2005)On the Road to Agreement ~ IDEA ’04 & More: The Fourth National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2006)

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Major Activities (cont)

Data SPP/APR Analysis "Longitudinal DR Database" - Table 4 and Table 7 summaries

online (5 years of data online) DAC

State-Specific Work Dispute Resolution System Integration and Performance

Enhancement (DR SIPE)

Looking To The Future Exemplar Work

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• Earlier dispute resolution

• Vibrant communities of practice

• State dispute resolution system improvement

• Compilation of research and evaluative data

• Information on national dispute resolution use and outcomes

• Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills

• Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution processes

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Workshop Objectives

• Participants will gain an awareness of the sources and dynamics of conflict, the influence of culture and the impact of power in addressing conflict.

• Participants will gain awareness of different styles for approaching or managing conflict.

• Participants will gain awareness of ‘listening to understand’ as an essential relationship and communication skill.

• Participants will gain awareness of the difference between ‘positions’ and ‘interests.’

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Workshop Objectives (cont)

• Participants will become more familiar with the continuum of special education dispute resolution options, including innovative approaches to prevention and early resolution.

• Participants will become more aware of skills required to promote positive parent-professional relationships and increase productive communication in IEP meetings

• Participants will become more familiar with CADRE, The National Center on Dispute Resolution in Special Education.

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Assumptions…

• Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and changing society

• Most parent/school relationships are or can be positive and mutually respectful

• Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented that facilitate productive relationships

• Different cultures have differing perspectives on conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached

• Workshop participants are already skilled at communicating, negotiating and problem-solving

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What does the word“conflict” bring to mind?

CONFLICT

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Two Definitions of Conflict

Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible interests, goals, principles, or feelings . . . ~~~

Expressed or repressed struggle Two or more people Interdependent relationship Strong emotion Perceived blockage of needs and/or values

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Costs of Conflict• Financial costs• Educational costs: takes energy away from

instruction, can interfere with needed consistency

• Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord • Relationships: hurts relationships among people

who have to work together• Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided;

bad press for special education; missed opportunities

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Sources of Conflict

Data

Interests

Structure

Values

Relationships

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Types of Conflict

Relationship Conflicts

• Occur because of repetitive negative interactions, misperceptions and stereotypes or poor communication

• Often fuel disputes and lead to escalating spiral of conflict

Types of Conflict

Data Conflicts• Occur because of lack of information,

misinformation, disagreement on which data is relevant and how to interpret competing assessment procedures

• Some data conflicts are unnecessary - caused by poor communication; others may be genuine incompatibilities associated with data collection, interpretation or communication

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Types of Conflict Interest Conflicts

Occur when a person believes that in order to satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of another must be sacrificed

Interest-based conflicts may occur over

• substantive issues (such as money, physical resources, time, etc.)

• procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be resolved); and/or

• psychological issues (perceptions of trust, fairness, desire for participation, respect, etc.)

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Types of Conflict Structural Conflicts

Caused by forces external to the people

Forces external to the people:• limited physical resources

• authority

• geographic constraints

• time

• organizational changes, etc.29

Types of Conflict

Value Conflicts• Value disputes arise when people attempt to

force one set of values on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for different beliefs [or the perception of same]

• Occur around incompatible belief systems

• Often create the most intractable conflicts

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Three Kinds of InterestsPsy

chol

ogic

alSubstan

tive

Procedural31

Power

Rights

Interests

Power

Rights

Interests

Power vs. Rights vs. Interests

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• Recognize that many people communicate and process information differently

• Check-in with yourself, monitor behavior• Allow time for reflection, don’t always fill silent

spaces• Engage community leaders and cultural liaisons • Actions and words don’t always have impact we

intend33

Cultural Competence & Diversity

Cultural AwarenessCultures have different ways of responding to conflict.

Culture shapes status, relationships and social behaviors with regard to conflict resolution.

Recognize that many people communicate and process information differently.

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Cultural Competence Strategies to address cultural competency range from

the policy to the program to the personal level. Cultural competency is a process,

not an outcome.

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Moving from Cultural Competence to Cultural Reciprocity

Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

You can only practice cultural reciprocity if you listen with the heart…for the heart…and share your heart.

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Power Imbalances Inherent in Conflict

Actual and perceived power may differ Participants may not be equipped or supported

to participate effectively Cultural differences may contribute Recognize there are formal and informal forms of

power

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Addressing Power Imbalances

• Advocacy• Cultural Competence

• Student Involvement• Well-facilitated processes and trained participants• Well-built relationships• Skilled neutral third party helpers

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The Five Conflict Handling Modes

Relationship Goals

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Compromising

Controlling Collaborating

AccommodatingAvoiding

Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument39

Avoiding • What is it:

– Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present

• When to use it?– When potential harm outweighs

benefits to resolve– When time is needed to collect

information or cool down

•What is it:Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present

•When to use it?When potential harm outweighs benefits to resolveWhen time is needed to collect information or cool down

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

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Accommodating

• What is it?– Sacrifice your own personal goals to

satisfy the concerns of the other(s)– Yield to another point of view

• When to use it?– When relationships are most

important– Reach a quick, temporary solution

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals41

Controlling

• What is it?Pursue own ends without agreement of

othersAchieving one’s goals is paramount

• When to use it?When unpopular actions must be

implementedWhen dire consequences will be the

result of inaction

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals42

Compromising• What is it?

– Quick, mutually acceptable alternatives

– Both parties give up something• When to use it?

– When two parties of equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals

– To achieve temporary solutions to complex issues

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals43

Collaborating• What is it?

– Identifying concerns of each person and finding alternatives that meet both sets of needs

– Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs and concerns of both people

• When to use it?– When relationships & issues are both

important– To gain commitment and acceptance for a

high-quality decision

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

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The Five Conflict Handling Modes

Relationship Goals

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als Compromising

Controlling Collaborating

AccommodatingAvoiding

Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument45

Listening

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“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Stephen Covey, “Habit 5” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

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High Risk Responses

1. Ordering2. Threatening3. Moralizing4. Advice5. Logical Argument6. Questions

7. Judging8. Praising9. Name-Calling10. Diagnosing11. Reassuring12. Diverting

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Certain Responses …

• Derail the conversation• Take the focus off the other person• Block the other person from finding a

solution• Distance you from the other person• Diminish the other person’s motivation

and sense of being valued 49

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TELLING LEARNING

Judgment Curiosity

Hubris Humility

Pretense Presence

Dismiss Acknowledge

Two Types of Stances

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Communication LoopSender Receiver

Message

Reflective Listening

Filtering Lenses

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The Chinese characters that make up the verb “to listen” tell us something

about this skill.

EARS

Listening to Understand

Following the thoughts and feelings of others to understand what they are saying from their perspective, frame of reference, or point of view.

Dignity and Respect

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Attending & Following Skills

• Environment• Posture• Contact (distance, eyes, touch)• Acknowledgment Responses• Gestures• Door Opening Questions• Open-Ended Questions• Interested Silence

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Responding Skills• Reflecting Feeling• Reflecting Content• Reflecting Meaning (linking feelings and

content)• Validating• Empathizing• Clarifying• Summarizing

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Listening Video

http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm

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Listening to Understand

Instruction: Identify a situation/issue that you have/had strong thoughts and feelings about and are comfortable sharing here today (pick manageable issue).

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Listening is a disciplined skill

• You can’t do two things at once if one • of them is listening well.

• You can’t listen if you are trying to • figure out what to say.

• You can’t listen if you are assuming.59

Listening

Listening for the heart… with the heart…

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“The most cost-effective component of a dispute resolution system is listening.”

Mary RoweMIT Ombuds & Scholar

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Positions & Interests

http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm

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Positions & Interests

Position• Specific solution proposed to resolve problem

- the “WHAT”

Interest • Underlying real need or desire that gives a

position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations, values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns)

- the “WHY”

 

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Finding the Interests

Position: One person’s solution to the problem or situation.Often a self-serving solution

Issue: Elements or subject matter of the problem.Elements at issue between the people that must be negotiated in order to reach agreement.

Interest: Factors that motivate or drive people to reach agreement and take positions Interests underlie positions in that a person’s positions are intended to meet and address their interests (hopes, wants, needs, fears, concerns)

Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation,.

Stage 1

Stage 2

Stage 3

Stage 4

Position A Position B

Issues Issues

Interests and positive intentions

Interests and positive intentions

Options for agreement

Options for agreement

Common ground

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Finding the Interests

• What need is the person taking this position attempting to satisfy?

• What is motivating the person?

• What is the person trying to accomplish?

• What is the person afraid will happen if a demand is not fulfilled?

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Eliciting Interest Questions

• “What would having that do for you?”• “What would that mean to you?”• “What would be different if you had that?”• "Why is that solution so important for you?“• “Why are you suggesting…?”• "What if that did/didn't happen?”• “How will you be affected by…?”

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What are the Possible Underlying Interests?

• “We don’t provide 30 minutes of speech therapy 5 days a week.”

• “We want an American Sign Language interpreter in that English Lit class.”

• “I demand an apology now!”

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Interest-based Negotiation

• Aims not to change the other person, but to change negotiation behavior.

• Shifts from ”your position versus mine” to “you and I versus the problem”.

• Involves a mutual exploration of interests to yield more creative options.

• Uses objective criteria.

Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-bassed negotiation,CCSEA 2001 Fall Conference and AGM. Surry B.C., Canada. CCSEA;

Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes69

Structure of Problem Solving

1. Sharing Information2. Identifying Interests3. Generating Options4. Evaluating Potential Solutions5. Reaching Agreement

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Responding to High Energy People

Response strategies • Notice and acknowledge “background noise” and capacity• Allow self disclosure • Limit personal attacks• Listening (matching/mirroring energy, giving space)

Understanding before moving forwardValuing parents as participants Authenticity

• Asking Questions (shifting from emotions to cognition)• Other strategies?

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IDEA Dispute Resolution Processes Comparison Chart

Mediation Due Process Complaint

Resolution Process State Complaint

Who can initiate the process?

Parent or LEA/Public Agency, but must be voluntary for both

Parent or LEA/Public Agency

LEA schedules the resolution meeting upon receipt of a due process complaint unless the parties agree to waive or use mediation

Any individual or organization, including those from out of state

What is the time limit for filing?

None specified 2 years of when the party knew or should have known of the problem (or a State law specified timeline) with limited exceptions

Triggered by a parent’s due process complaint

1 year from the date of the alleged violation

What issues can be resolved?

Any matter under part 300, including matters arising prior to the filing of a due process complaint (there are exceptions)

Any matter relating to the identification, evaluation or educational placement or provision of a free appropriate public education (there are exceptions)

Same as the issues raised in the parent’s due process complaint

Alleged violations of Part B of IDEA of Part 300

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IDEA Dispute Resolution Processes Comparison Chart

Mediation Due Process Complaint Resolution Process State Complaint

What is the timeline for resolving the issues?

None specified 45 days from the end of the resolution period unless specific extensions to the timeline are granted.

LEA must convene a resolution meeting within 15 days of receipt of the parent’s due process complaint, unless the parties agree in writing to waive the meeting or agree to use mediation.

Resolution period is 30 days from receipt of the parent’s due process complaint unless the parties agree otherwise or the parent or LEA fails to participate in the resolution meeting or the LEA fails to convene the resolution meeting within 15 days of receipt of the parent’s due process complaint

60 days from receipt of the complaint unless an extension is permitted.

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IDEA Dispute Resolution Processes Comparison Chart

Mediation Due Process Complaint Resolution Process State Complaint

Who resolves the issue?

Parent and LEA/Public Agency with a mediator

The process is voluntary and both parties must agree to any resolution

Hearing Officer Parent and LEA/Public Agency

Both parties must agree to any resolution

SEA

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Purpose ofFacilitated IEP Meetings

To improve the process of the IEP meeting in order to achieve an IEP that is in the best interest of the student.

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What Is a Facilitated Meeting?

• A facilitated IEP meeting uses a trained, neutral third party to guide the meeting. This person is responsible for the process of the meeting – not the outcome. “The facilitator encourages full participation, promotes mutual understanding and cultivates shared responsibility.”

Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by

Sam Kaner, page 3277

Role of Facilitator

Guides the group through the process

• Encourages participation by everyone in the group• Keeps the group focused on the issues - not on

personalities• Seeks clarity on issues• Avoids expressing views or solutions• Facilitates problem solving and completion of the

task

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You Should Have A Facilitator When…

• There is a history of difficult meetings, bad relationships, or unresolved differences.

• You know the group will face difficult decisions.

• One team member is requesting outside assistance.

• There will be a great amount of new information presented or it is an initial IEP meeting.

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You Should Not Be the Facilitator When…

• You have to play a dual role – Facilitator/Leader or Facilitator/Expert.

• You have a close, personal relationship or a negative personal history with a key participant.

• You know you are biased.• You are uncomfortable dealing with emotions

and you suspect the meeting will be emotional.

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Internal vs. External Facilitators

• Advantages

• Disadvantages

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Timekeeper: Communicates time frames

Recorder: Documents discussions & decisions (minutes); collects additional handouts for the file; submits minutes to appropriate source

IEP Writer: Focuses on capturing the group’s decisions & recording it on the IEP form

Other Roles

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IEP Meeting PreparationPurposePlanParticipationProcessParking Lot

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Parent Contact Checklist • What to anticipate during the IEP meeting.• Do you have issues outside the scope of the IEP that

you would like to include in the agenda? • Do you have any information (evaluations, etc.) you

would like the other members of the team to review before the meeting?

• What is your time allotment for the meeting? • Explain role of facilitator.• Is there anyone you would like to bring with you to the

meeting? • Will the student participate? (as appropriate)• Do you need special accommodations?

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Teacher Contact Checklist• What to anticipate during the IEP meeting.• Explain role of facilitator.• What is your time allotment for the meeting? • Are there areas you want to emphasize within the

IEP?• Are there issues that may be “new information” or

“hot topics” to the parent? • Do you have any personal concerns regarding

the child, parent, or meeting?85

IEP Meeting Set-Up

Appropriate school recordsPaperwork: IEP, blank copies, minutesName cards Food, water, cups, tissuesExtra paper and pens Someone to greet participantsFlip chart, markers, tape

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Qualities of an Effective Facilitator

• Big EarsTo listen to what is being said and what is between the words, to hear the foundation of consensus being built even before the group can hear it

• Clear eyes To read body language and other visual cues the group

is offering

• Small mouth To keep your opinions about the content to yourself (if

that is your only role)

• Strong Heart To have concern that each person be treated with

respect, and to have compassion for the challenge of people working together

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• The agenda specifies the action items the team must address.

• The parent and school jointly develop the agenda or facilitator proposes.

• Agenda is reviewed at the start of the meeting.

• Each participant is invited to add to the agenda.

• Discuss and agree upon priorities, time limits.

• Elicit group expectations.

Building an Agenda

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Managing the Meeting

• Set and stick with beginning and ending times

• Work through the agenda priorities

– Evaluations, Eligibility, IEP, Placement

• Table issues that cannot be resolved

• Refocus, restate, reflect, redirect

• Return to unresolved issues

• Agree to disagree89

Decision Making

Groups need decision making processes to

achieve results and create action plans– Voting– Straw Polls– Consensus

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Consensus• Define “Consensus.” What is it? How do you get it? • All people who have a stake in an issue work

together toward common understanding & agreement that satisfies all their interests.

• Consensus is not compromise.• Consensus - a decision making process to develop

unanimous acceptance of a proposal• Acceptance can range from minimal tolerance to

enthusiastic support• No member finds the decision egregious or

unacceptable91

Consensus Building Method Clearly state a proposal Verify that everyone understands proposal Determine support for proposal

Round robin - solicit opinions from members Thumbs up, down, or sideways Five fingers - 1 finger = unacceptable, 5 fingers =

highly support, fist = veto Modify proposal until consensus is reached or

consensus to table and move on92

Consensus Building Exercise Each table is a family

Select appropriate roles: parents, teens, children, infants, grandparents, etc.

As a family, you need to decide where you’ll spend your vacation.

You have 7 days for vacation

The family must travel together and participate in all activities

You have a budget of $5,00093

Difficult Dynamics Found Within Groups

Domination by a highly verbal member Low participation by the entire group Two people locking horns Someone becomes repetitive Failure to start and end on time Distractions and interruptions The group gets “stuck”

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Positive Parent-Professional Relationships

What educators can do:• Keep promises and ensure confidentiality• Be hopeful and honest• Help parents identify strengths and choices• Model problem-solving skills• View parents as equal partners• Support parents as child’s best advocates• Value point of view and preferences of family

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Positive Parent-Professional Relationships

What parents can do:• Reinforce at home what your child is learning at

school; follow through on your commitments • Be honest about what you don’t understand and what

you need to know• Recognize professionals’ commitment and expertise

and thank them when they are helpful• Recognize that they are often limited by the systems

in which they work• Commit to working to find solutions to disagreements

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Educating Our Children Together: A Sourcebook for Effective

Family-School-Community Partnerships

Strategy 1: Creating a family -friendly school environmentStrategy 2. Building a support infrastructureStrategy 3. Encouraging family involvementStrategy 4. Developing family-friendly communicationStrategy 5. Supporting family involvement on the home frontStrategy 6. Supporting education opportunities for familiesStrategy 7. Creating family-school-community partnershipsStrategy 8. Preparing educators to work with families

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What did I hear? What does it mean to me?

• Things I want to remember• Questions I have• What does this mean to students?

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Some material from this PowerPoint presentation was developed

by CADRE Partners, including:

Greg AbellTim Hedeen

Michael Opuda IDEA Partnership DR WorkgroupDR Institute at Univ. of Delaware

ALLIANCE of Parent CentersWI Special Ed Mediation System

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