Communicating Confidently & Effectively

Soft Skills Training for Women in Construction

Learning Objectives

Look at what really happens when we communicate

Explore communication styles and how we tend to communicate with others

Review a range of tools and techniques that help promote confidence and effective communication

Understand the importance of building rapport during communication

Realise the effect of using positive and negative language

Understand and paraphrase

Understand the importance of active listening

Some truths…

We all say we need better communication skills, but often we don't know exactly what that means or how to make it happen

Most of us have had very little “training” on communication skills

Sooner or later, communication will go “wrong” when dealing with others

Often there are some people at work that we find very difficult to communicate with

Even the best communicators could face difficulties while communicating

Some thoughts on communication…

The meaning of communication is not simply what you intend, but also the response you get from the other person(s).

"You have to communicate. Everything you say/do, or don't say/don't do, sends a message to others.“ John Woods

“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”Jimi Hendrix

5

Communication problems

We encode and decode messages based on:

Our beliefs and values

What is important to us

How we feel about the person we communicate with

How much we know about this person

Our emotional state during communication

Basic Communication Process

Information richness of communication channels

Low channel richness High channel richness

Routine Nonroutine

Six processes during communication

Principles of effective communication

Open - reasoning behind decisions is clear and accessible

Clear - the information is accurate and expressed in plain language with minimal use of jargon - this applies to all communications (from reports to policy documents)

Credible - the communication is responsible, realistic, trustworthy

Timely - accurate and relevant information is provided when needed

Planned - when possible, communication is proactive and planned to ensure that the right messages would reach the right people at the right time

Consistent – communication messages, within an organisation and among its members, are clear and consistent

Dialogue - people are encouraged to contribute with ideas and to give feedback

Four elements of effective communication …

How do we absorb information?

Most people use language that includes visual, auditory or kinaesthetic “feelings”/ words

All of us use language that represents our interpretation of what we perceive about an experience

We think & code

information Feelings Communication

Working on your communication skills

Using empathy - the ability to share your feelings and understand other people's emotional state

Separate the person from their behaviour

Express your expectations

Be aware of different communication styles

Rapport

An emotional bond or a friendly relationship between people, based on mutual sympathy, trust and a sense that they understand and share each others’ concerns.

Key words: relationship, understanding, bond, link, affinity, connection, empathy

Build rapport so that you cancommunicate effectively

14

Why is the rapport important?

In all types of communication and work relations:

help get things done

demonstrate that you understand someone else’s world view

demonstrate that you communicate well and understand other people

Building a rapport

95% of the time we achieve it easily Believe that the other person wants rapport too Have confidence that you will achieve rapport Have a sense of curiosity

Use a technique called mirroring: voice, tone, pace of speech breathing rhythm movement rhythm body posture

Why is the rapport so important?

Rapport is like money - increases its

importance when you don’t have it, and

when you do it increases your opportunities!

Communication styles

1. RED – Action & What2. GREEN - Process & How3. YELLOW - People & Who4. BLUE - Idea & Why

Watch your language!

Negative wordsAfraidAnnoyedBlockedCan’tDepressed

Positive wordsExhilaratedImpassionedTemporarily impededChallengedPrimed for change

Consider the dialogue…

Negative phrasing and language: tells the recipient what cannot be donehas a subtle tone of blameincludes words like can't, won't, unable todoesn’t express positive actions or positive consequences

Positive phrasing and language: tells the recipient what can be done suggests alternatives and choices available sounds helpful and encouraging rather than bureaucraticstresses positive actions and positive consequences

Getting & Using Feedback

Prepare yourself Ask for feedback in a systematic way Accept the feedback you’ve received and repeat it in order to verify it and confirm

your understanding is correct Ask the person to give specific examples Do not reject the feedback Do not question the feedback or say: “Yes, but…” Thank the person providing feedback Take the feedback (positive and negative) and learn from it!

Providing feedback…

Always ask (positive or negative): “May I give you some feedback? May I share something with you?”

Talk about their behaviour: “When you…”

Describe the impact: “Here’s what happens…”

Ask them to suggest change: “How could you do this differently?”, or “Thanks, keep it up.”

Remember that feedback is always about future behaviour. It’s NOT about the past, because there’s nothing we can do about the past.

Nonverbal Body languageFacial ExpressionsToneListeningTouchAppearancePostureSilence

Verbal Oral (informal conversation, presentation, public speaking, debate)Written (text, report, email) - formalFace-to-face/Distant

Communication types

Written communication could also elicit positive

or negative response in the recipient.

Written communication

It’s also important how we LISTEN…

Look interestedInquire with questionsStay focusedTest understandingEvaluate the messageNeutralise feelings

Listening skills

The ability to listen is vital to understanding what is meant, what is being expressed, what hasn’t been said, different emotions, etc.

There is an important distinction between passive and active listening.

Wrong assumptions about listening

It is a passive activity

“You” always know what I mean

“I” should always know what “you” mean

Communication happens naturally

The meaning of the communication, is the

meaning that the recipient elicits!

Barriers to effective listening

The speaker: accent, volume, articulation, etc.

You: your ability to concentrate, your level of anxiety, emotional state

Your mind: your inner voice, your focus on what you are going to say, your preoccupation

Environment: stuffy room, levels of comfort, noise

Physical attention:

Face the other person SQUARELY - conveys that they have your attention

Keep your pose OPEN - conveys that you are open to listen, non defensive

LEAN forward - conveys that you are engaged, don’t forget your body language

Lots of EYE contact - helps build trust, don’t stare! RELAX - trust that you will achieve a high level of rapport, helps to convey an

engagement and improves the listening and the level of understanding

Good listening techniques

Good listening techniques

Psychological attention:

Keep an OPEN mind - don’t judge

Listen FULLY don’t jump into conclusions

Practise shutting down - EXTERNAL distractions

REFLECT about the person who speaks and think how they were feeling

SUMMARISE what has been said, recap the main points

Understanding & Paraphrasing

Ways to help understand the other person Paraphrasing - review of what has just been said Clarifying - openly present doubts or concerns without challenging the other person Echoing - pick up on words and present them back as questions Encouraging - nod, “Go on…”, “I see”, “Yes”, etc. Listening between the lines – don’t judge, listen the way things are said, body language,

etc. Use silence - a pause doesn’t always mean that the speaker has finished, sometimes

demonstrates that you are keen to hear what they have to say Don’t interrupt

Avoid personal prejudice - don’t get irritated by what has been said, don’t allow persons’ manners, or characteristics to distract you

Remove distractions - focus your mind on what is being said, don’t doodle, tap or shuffle papers

Limit your own talking - you have 2 ears and 1 mouth!

Be prepared - give yourself a structure and prepare questions in advance, this would allow you to listen

Understanding & Paraphrasing

Make statements that help create an agenda for how the rest of the discussion could be structured

Practise conscious listening

OR

Nonverbal messages impact

Body language

Match your body language, talk speed, voice tone

Match your body posture Be aware of your own mismatches

Watch for skin colour changes, flushing, etc.

ProductivityProductivity& Work Flow& Work FlowProductivityProductivity& Work Flow& Work Flow

DecisionDecisionMakingMaking

DecisionDecisionMakingMaking

EmployeeEmployeeSatisfactionSatisfactionEmployeeEmployee

SatisfactionSatisfactionPersuasivePersuasiveMarketingMarketing

PersuasivePersuasiveMarketingMarketing

BusinessBusinessRelationshipsRelationships

BusinessBusinessRelationshipsRelationships

Benefits forBenefits forpeerspeers

Benefits forBenefits forpeerspeers

ProblemProblemAwarenessAwarenessProblemProblem

AwarenessAwareness

ProfessionalProfessionalImageImage

ProfessionalProfessionalImageImage

Effective Effective CommunicationCommunication

Effective Effective CommunicationCommunication

And finally…

NB!

It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it!

HIGH HEELS PROJECTLeonardo da Vinci –

Transfer of Innovation

2012-1-BG1-LEO05-06924

COPYRIGHT© Copyright 2013 High Heels Consortium

Consisting of:BULGARIAN CONSTRUCTION CHAMBER (BG)CONSTRUCTION TRAINING CENTER (BG)AR CI PROFESSIONAL CENTRE Ltd (BG)MILITOS EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES &SERVICES (GR)KNOWL (GR)RNDO Ltd (CY)STEJAR CENTER OF RESEARCH, DEVELOPMENT & EXCELLENCE (RO)

This document may not be copied, reproduced, or modified in whole or in part for any purpose without written permission from the High Heels Consortium. In addition an acknowledgement of the authors of the document and all applicable portions of the copyright notice must be clearly referenced.All rights reserved.

This project has been funded with support from the European Commission.This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.

Transferring the University of Salford’s award winning training programme: “‘Women and Work: Sector Pathways Initiative” (2010)