COMMUNICATING ANF NEGOTIATING

Core, model and conditions of successful negotiation

Verbal communication (speaking, listening and writing) and non-verbal (body language, distances)

Presentations, public speeches

Psychology of contacts, persuasion, counter-argumentation

Principles and techniques of negotiation, mediation

References

h.mruk@ae.poznan.pl

Sender #### Receiver

emotions, thoughts, words obstacles words, thoughts, emotions

COMMUNICATION MODEL

COMMUNICATIVE BEHAVIORS DIAGRAMAND POTENTIAL SOURCES OF MISUNDERSTANDING

Reception of understandable

signals

available codes known

careful reception

Active interpretation

Understanding, correct interpretation

code unknown broken communication

inattentive listener broken communication

noise in channel broken communication

interpretation mistakes broken communication

successful communication

no interpretation mistakes

no noise

attentive listener

code known

SPEAKING

• we learn to read and write – not much about speaking • speaking carefully – clear pronunciation, opening mouth, practice in front of a mirror (e.g. Demosthenes)• voice tone – genes, ability to lower voice by the full octave – contact with a speech therapist, business – low voice tone• timbre – warm, pleasant, depending on emotions and smile• fluency of speech - language tails, fillers • speed of speech – avoid speaking too slow

• volume – when to speak louder and when quieter• sentence melody• intonation• word choice, jargon

change what you have to change and accept what you have to accept

small talk at the beginning of conversation

nobody likes touchy questions

Listening

• we can think faster than speak, that's why it's easy to think about our problems while listening to others • in contact with others 'both ears' are more important than 'golden mouth'• focus on conversation is necessary for successful listeningempathy – empathize with your interlocutor, without prejudice about his appearance or behavior • eye contact helps to listen • notes help to listen and remember• ignoring external obstacles – psychological attitude •good proportions between listening and speaking help• practicability of content helps too• it's always better to listen when you know the purpose of meeting

Writing

''Forgive me this long letter but I didn't have time to write a short one.'' R. Pascal

• short sentences: 16-19 words• known words, without wordiness• verbs make the text more lively – in reports – no personal pronouns• metaphors encourage imagination• paragraphs and chapters• text editing - headlines• writing as a warm-up for the pencil and brain• taking notes of ideas helps to write•reasoning logic – what's in the head will be on paper

Body language

• open body position – hands, gestures, smile, – openness causes openness • closed body position – better run away• self-confidence –hands, looks, silhouette, head helplessness, depression, aggression – avoid such gestures and attitudes • head – hairdo, face, smile, look, mimical facial movements, carefulness and caring• eye contact – from 30% to 60% of conversation time, forehead and eyebrows

• gesticulation – from waist up to chin level

• straight body position

clothing – matching situation, harmony of pieces,

colors, tidiness

• naturalness is a friend of body language

• relation of body language and speech

• greeting – hand shake, principles

• distance between interlocutors – matching situation

and culture

Space management

friendly conversationdistance- intimate- personal

conversation + competitiondistance- personal- social

cooperationdistance- personalsocial

individual (parallel) workdistance- social- public

Four phases:

1. Prepare materials

1. Prepare yourself

1. Prepare room

1. Prepare listeners

PRESENTATIONS AND PUBLIC SPEECHES

PREPARING MATERIALS

• strategy – good preparation prevents future disaster

• good timing

• presentation content structure – more or less complicated

• presentation layout – logic, cause and effect principle

• variety of measures – slides, board, paper, charts, movement,

color

• questions from audience and answers

• prepare yourself for the unexpected – Murphy's law

• preparations are 8 times longer than presentations

PREPARING YOURSELF

• come before time to be on time

• fight stress – relax, breathing, experience

• take care of your physical and metal well-being

• record yourself – dictaphone, camera

• microphone - check: desktop, clip-on, portable,

• prepare room for yourself

• appearance – first impression: 55/ 38/ 7

• clothing – favorite, tested, well-fitting• speak before meal• gestures – open, matching – we believe in what we see• smile – matching situation• careful speaking – voice tone modulation• speed of speech• always with your profile toward the audience• eye contact with the whole audience• moderate body dynamics

ROOM PREPARATION

• air-conditioning – fresh air inside• tables layout• screen, board, flip chart• tired after 15, 45 and 90 minutes• remembering – principle of 7 plus, minus 2• golden thoughts• activating audience•controlling time• handouts for audience – before, during and after presentation• cleaning room after presentation

PRZYGOTOWANIE SŁUCHACZY

• addressing and greeting the audience: Mr Chairman, Mr President, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Sir

• agenda – layout and time of presentation

• audience's reaction – help in gaining audience's attention

• questions – during, after presentation, answers – single answers, all together

• answer – paraphrase, reducing distance, pause before answer – the 4 second rule

• taking notes of questions

• do not look above people's head

MISTAKES IN PRESENTATIONS

MATERIALS – preparation, readability, time of presentation, sequencing, most important questions

APPEARANCE AND CLOTHES – professional, straight body position, eye contact, open gestures, hands, harmony of clothes

GŁOS – speaking to the audience, careful pronunciation, volume, speed, tone, melody, sentences, fillers, language tails, speech dynamics

ADRESSING AND AGENDA- introduction, body, conclusion (say what you'll be

talking about, say what you want to say and say what you talked about)

PSYCHOOGICAL RULES ON CUSTOMERS' BEHAVIOR

Set patterns of behavior

Justified request is more effective

Rule of contrast rule

Rule of reciprocity

Big and small request – refusal and approval

Involvement and consistence

Rule of social evidence of legitimacy

Rule of liking and friendliness

Rule of authority

Rule of inaccessibility

Psychological rules of assessment

• feelings and emotional states of the person assessing

• preliminary hypothesis – searching evidence

• middle-of-scale grade

• novelty effect

• aureole effect

• grade related to presentation method – fat and slim

• amount of loss – one big loss is worse than several small

ones

Psychological rules of assessment – continued

• presents – a few small presents ARE better than a big one

• it's difficult to erase one negative message once it's been given

• analytical assessment (partial) vs clinical assessment (holistic)

• regression to average rule

• anchoring rule

• rule of psychological accessibility

• illusion of being in control

• compensation vs conjunction formulae

Psychology of persuasion (1)• persuasion based on 'everybody wins'

• secret of success – ability to accept others' point of view

• ability to deal with people – goods like anything else

• knowledge does not equal ability to act

• questions lead to discovery of others' system of values

• determine which values bring together and which drive apart

• magic words name – names attract attention there you go and thank you that's why and because

Psychology of persuasion (2)

• assuming the obvious you sure/must have seen it

you know

you understand

you will realize

be happy

• adding credibility be objective – talk about both advantages and

shortcomings

be precise – 28,40, is not 30

Psychology of persuasion (3)

• ways to quickly come into contact

copying partner's gestures, movements, breathing and

words

true interest in the interlocutor

confirmation of contact

asking questions to determine values, principles and

needs

CONFLICT

STRATEGIES IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS

1. Domination strategy2. Strategy of accepting enemy3. Resignation strategy (conflict disappears)4. Strategy of solving problems

NEGOTIATIONS – VICTORY WITH A NON ZERO RESULT

Three criteria for negotiation method assessment

1. achieving sensible agreement2. efficiency3. improving relations between two sides

NEGOTIATION PROCESS

Preparation

Debate

Proposals

Trade-in solutions

time, information, recognition

what we want, what they want

out of what two parties want, what can be traded?

out of what two parties want, what will be traded?

NEGOTIATIONS

•calculator and notes give time for thinking

• it's better to solve a problem rather than look who's to blame

• avoid giving precise calculations

• 'empty safe' may be a bluff

• good offer will satisfy partner's needs and expectations

• tough negotiators are held in higher esteem

• state your conditions before offers

• positive form is stranger than negative one

• avoid haggling pitfall

• core of negotiations – bilateral exchange

• 'for free' may also be too expensive

• wait for offers or give them

• do not accept first offer

• starting offer – beneficial for the beginning party

• beware of promises of future profits

• lawyers in higher demand – designing contracts

• avoid taking decisions when you are driven into a corner

• do not use a phrase: 'to be negotiated'

• most useful word in negotiations: – IF –

• core of the matter, negotiations without emotions

• subconsciousness – negotiator's powerful asset

• negotiating power increases safety boundaries

• fixed price – does not exist; attacking price and on the other hand, enduring price attacks

• do not get embarrassed by splendour

• have an alternative for 'Eastern Front'

Mediation

Solving conflicts in the presence of third party

Usually cheaper than court verdicts

Gives better results than court

Mediator's tasks:

•determining schedule of talks

•gaining approval from both sides of conflict

•controlling communication between sides

•identifying cases and recognizing problems

•individual meetings with both sides of conflict

•proposing solutions

•threatening (sometimes) with an arbitrary solution

References:

1. Komunikowanie się w marketingu, praca zbiorowa pod red. H.Mruka, Wydawnictwo AE,

Poznań 2005.

2. Pietkiewicz E., Etykieta menedżera, CIM, Warszawa 1998.

3. Thomson P., Sposoby komunikacji interpersonalnej, Zysk i S-ka Wydawnictwo, Poznań 1998.

4. Cialdini R., Wywieranie wpływu na ludzi, Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne, Gdańsk 1996.

5. Covey St. R., 7 nawyków skutecznego działania, Wydawnictwo MEDIUM, Warszawa 1996.

6. Goleman D., Inteligencja emocjonalna, Media Rodzina of Poznań, Poznań 1998.7. Leary M., Wywieranie wrażenia na innych. O sztuce autoprezentacji., Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne, Gdańsk 19998. Sisson C. Podróż w głąb siebie, Wydawnictwo MEDIUM, Warszawa 20009. Tyszka T., Psychologiczne pułapki oceniania i podejmowania decyzji, GWP, Gdańsk 2000.10. Gesteland R.R., Różnice kulturowe a zachowania w biznesie, PWN, Warszawa 2000.11. Karras G., Dobić targu, Businessman, Sopot 1992.12. Kennedy G., Negocjacje. Jak osiągnąć nową przewagę negocjacyjną. Business Press, Warszawa 1999.13. Kennedy G., Negocjować można wszystko. Jak za każdym razem dokonać udanej transakcji. Studio Emka, Warszawa 1999.14. Mitnick K., Sztuka podstępu, Helion, Gliwice 2003