Communicate

To

PersuadeBill Dillon

AASHE Annual Conference – Pittsburgh, PennsylvaniaOctober 10, 2011

Qualifications

Background

Expectations:

1.

2.

3.

4.

How many of you have ever been actively involved in a major negotiation?

Let’s see some hands….

None of none of the above

So I’ll assume that the rest of you have never…….

• Ask for a raise• Been asked for a raise• Bought a car• Planned a vacation with a spouse• Been a parent of a five year old child• Been a five year old child

You are about to begin an important negotiation. Your objective is to ______?

Traditional negotiations continuum:

Competitive

Collaborative

Cooperative

Negotiations Continuum

Competitive

Collaborative

Cooperative

“I win – You lose”

“Let’s work together to create a bigger

pie”

“We’ll divide the pie fairly”

Even in a traditional negotiation your objectives should be twofold:

Collaborative

Cooperative

Achieve immediate objective

Elevate the relationship

Competitive

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Focus on elevating the relationship

2.

3. 4.

Negotiation

Persuasion or

Communication

Now that we will all be focusing on elevating relationships….

Persuasion begins by identifying where your relationship is on the continuum.

Competitive

Collaborative

Cooperative

Where is this on the continuum?

Ben Stiller & Hank Azaria – Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

Aristotle described three devices that classified a speaker’s persuasive appeal:

1.Ethos (authority) – qualified to speak

2.Pathos (emotion) – ability to connect with the other party

3.Logos ( logic) - the clarity of the claim, the effectiveness of supporting evidence

Interest in approving one’s persuasion skills dates back to the 4th century B.C.

There are certain behaviors that tend to trigger automatic responses in others. In negotiations theory these behaviors are called tactics. Whether intentional or unintentional, tactics advance immediate objectives. Tactics usually do not elevate relationships.

A key take-away from the literature….

A first group of tactics focus on basic emotions……

Confrontation

Threat

Tease

Position

Something as simple as where you sit during a conversation is important.

Chevy Chase & Brian Doyle – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

A first group of tactics focus on basic emotions……

Confrontation

Threat

Tease

Position

Flinch

Is there any doubt about who is in charge?

Michael Kaufman & Brian Doyle – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

• Create a neutral environment

• Ask first for input from others before sharing your ideas

• Specifically state that you value the other person’s opinion

When you are in a position of authority how might you minimize emotional factors to elevate the relationship ?

A second group of tactics attempt to cast the speaker as powerless….

Confrontation

Position

Flinch

Tease

Threat

Messenger

Never get approved

Third-party pressure

Violins

Deadline

How many tactics do you recognize here?

Elliott Gould – Devil and Max Devlin

A third group of tactics rely more on the appearance of being reasonable or logical .

Confrontation

Position

Flinch

Tease

Threat

Messenger

Never get approved

Third-party pressure

Violins

Deadline

Foggy memory

Fair & reasonable

Expert information

Michael Douglas & Charlie Sheen – Wall Street

One of the most commonly used tactics is...

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Focus on elevating the relationship.

2. Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them.

3.

Tactics as Counter-tactics

Never get approved

Deadline

Competition

Limited authority

Brackets

Third-party pressure

Fair and reasonable

But remember our goal:

Elevate the relationship

Achieve immediate objective

More Effective Countermeasures

• Disclose feelings

• Legitimacy

• Cesura•

•

• Disclose personal feelings, then

• ask for help understanding

Disclose Feelings

Scenario: It is 4:00 pm on Friday afternoon and a colleague comes into your office to ask if you could help them build a PowerPoint presentation for a recycling initiative that they have been working on for months. The presentation is due on Monday. You have promised your significant other that you will take them to the beach this weekend.

Disclose Feelings

• Depersonalize the issue

• Strengthen your position with

• Reputation

• Expertise

• Data

Legitimacy

Scenario: The Dean of Engineering stops by your office with drawings for her new academic resources center. The plan requires that you relocate a recycling station that you have been working on for two years. You have no other space available for this station. The Dean indicates that she wants to begin construction by the end of the week.

Legitimacy

Cesura

Cesura

One

Cesura

Two

Cesura

Three

Cesura

Four

Cesura

Five

Cesura

Six

Cesura

Seven

Cesura

Eight

Cesura

Nine

Cesura

Ten

Cesura

Scenario: A direct report asks you for permission to take a sick day tomorrow but you already overheard her making plans to go to a baseball game. When you explain that you really need her at work she gets angry and accuses you of being tougher on her than other co-workers.

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Focus on elevating the relationship.

2. Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them.

3. Practice positive countermeasures

A little practice…..

Scenario: You are the Sustainability Director for a mid-sized university. You have been working on your budget for months and do not believe that it is possible to fulfill your responsibilities without a 2% increase in your budget for the following year.

In a private meeting with the Chair of the Faculty Senate, she advises you, “the faculty voted last night to recommend cutting funding for sustainability initiatives by 50% to fund an increase of 4 to 6% for faculty salaries this year. ”

Practice, practice, practice…..

Now the fourth session outcome and perhaps the greatest ah-ah.

There are only two acceptable responses to a demand.

Non-concession with explanation

Conditional concession with counter demand and explanation.

It’s all very simple

Request/demand

Listen & Acknowledge

Clarify/ Test

Yes NoConditional acceptance with counterdemand

Non-acceptance with explanation

Confirm and restate agreement

Yes No

Agreement?

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Focus on elevating the relationship.

2. Tactics only work if the receiving party is not aware of them.

3. Practice positive countermeasures.

4. There are only two acceptable responses to a demand.

How does this differ from the first film clip in this session?

Dennis Quaid – The Rookie

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Focus on elevating the relationship.

2. Tactics only work if you are not aware of them.

3. Practice positive countermeasures.

4. There are only two acceptable responses to a demand.

5. Most successful relationships begin with caring more about the other party.

The Fifth Takeaway

Matthew McConaughey – Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Learning outcomes for this session

1. Commit to elevating your relationship.

2. Recognize when tactics are influencing your behavior.

3. Practice positive countermeasures.

4. Consider a conditional response.

5. Care.

There are countless publications regarding negotiation and persuasion.

Negotiating Skills, Tim Hindle, DK Publishing, ISBN 0-7894-2448-7, 1998, $7.00.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini, Collins Business Essentials, ISBN 978-0-06-124189-5, 2007, $12.23

Thank you for spending this time with me.

I sincerely hope you takeaway at least one memorable thought from this session. I welcome questions, comments, feedback, suggestions for improvements, anecdotes, movie clips, office visits and e-mails if you’d ever like to talk further.

bill.dillon@nacubo.com