coherence menu exit how could this paragraph be revised to read more smoothly? the year 1968 was a...

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Coherence MENU EXIT How could this paragraph be revised to read more smoothly? The year 1968 was a year of crisis. The Vietnam war escalated dramatically. There were many more civilian and military deaths. Antiwar protestors mobilized and conflicts with the police sometimes became violent. Over 50,000 antiwar protesters marched on the Pentagon, and on college campuses, antiwar protesters often clashed with police. 1968 brought the assassinations of two powerful leaders—Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy. Click to see a revision

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Coherence

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How could this paragraph be revised to read more smoothly?

The year 1968 was a year of crisis. The Vietnam war

escalated dramatically. There were many more civilian and

military deaths. Antiwar protestors mobilized and conflicts

with the police sometimes became violent. Over 50,000

antiwar protesters marched on the Pentagon, and on college

campuses, antiwar protesters often clashed with police.

1968 brought the assassinations of two powerful leaders—

Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy.

Click to see a revision

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Coherence

This paragraph now reads smoothly because it uses transitions, pronouns, and synonyms to establish coherence.

The year1968 was a year of crisis. In Vietnam, the war

escalated dramatically and resulted in many more civilian

and military deaths. At home, antiwar protestors mobilized

and conflicts with the police sometimes became violent. Over

50,000 peace activists marched on the Pentagon, and on

college campuses, they often clashed with police. Perhaps

worst of all, 1968 brought the assassinations of two powerful

leaders—Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy.

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Coherence

Continue…

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An essay or paragraph is coherent when the parts fit together logically and the ideas are connected.

Coherence

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•using transitional words and phrases

•repeating similar words throughout

Coherence can be achieved by

An essay or paragraph is coherent when the parts fit together logically and the ideas are connected.

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Coherence

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The following techniques can be used to create coherence. Click on the technique you want to explore.

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•Effective Transitions

•Pronouns

•Synonyms

•Repetition

•Rephrasing

•Consistent Word Choice

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Effective Transitions

Coherence

Transitional words and phrases such as these can make the relationship between ideas clear.

Sequence Cause/Effect Comparison/Contrast

Degree of Importance

first

third

last

because

consequently

since

however

unlike

yet

most important

worst

main

i

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Effective Transitions

Many people think downhill skiing and cross-country skiing are

similar. They require specialized ski gear, athletic fitness, and

endurance. They require different skills. A downhill skier travels

at high speed down steep slopes and must react quickly to

sudden turns and obstacles. The skier works with gravity. The

cross-country skier travels over fairly level trails at a relatively

slow speed. The skier works against gravity.

How might transitions help to connect the ideas in this paragraph?

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Coherence

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Effective Transitions

Many people think downhill skiing and cross-country skiing are

similar. However, although both require specialized ski gear,

athletic fitness, and endurance, each requires different skills.

For example, a downhill skier travels at high speed down

steep slopes and must react quickly to sudden turns and

obstacles. The skier works with gravity. In contrast, the cross-

country skier travels over fairly level trails at a relatively slow

speed. The skier works against gravity.

The transitions help to connect the ideas in this paragraph. They tie the paragraph together by showing how the two kinds of skiing are alike and different.

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Coherence

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PronounsPronouns can keep ideas connected and the writing concise.

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Coherence

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Pronouns

The huge bull elephant stepped forward, shaking its mammoth

trunk and tusks violently, threateningly. The chain rattled, and

then it broke. The other elephants hung back. They seemed to

be waiting to see what would happen. Unlike the bull, these

were usually docile animals, but they were nervous now, and

dangerous.

Where are the pronouns in this paragraph?

Click to see the pronouns

Pronouns can keep ideas connected and the writing concise.

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Coherence

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Pronouns

What ideas do these pronouns connect to?

Pronouns can keep ideas connected and the writing concise.

Click to see the connected ideas

The huge bull elephant stepped forward, shaking its mammoth

trunk and tusks violently, threateningly. The chain rattled, and

then it broke. The other elephants hung back. They seemed to

be waiting to see what would happen. Unlike the bull, these

were usually docile animals, but they were nervous now, and

dangerous.

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Coherence

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Pronouns

The huge bull elephant stepped forward, shaking its mammoth

trunk and tusks violently, threateningly. The chain rattled, and

then it broke. The other elephants hung back. They seemed to

be waiting to see what would happen. Unlike the bull, these

were usually docile animals, but they were nervous now, and

dangerous.

What ideas do these pronouns connect to?

Pronouns can keep ideas connected and the writing concise.

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Coherence

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SynonymsUsing a series of synonyms or closely related words helps hold ideas together.

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Click to see the related words

Synonyms

They met with no more adventures that night, moving quietly

along the edges of the fields under the dim light of a quarter

moon. The half-darkness was full of sounds and movement.

Once Acorn put up a plover, which flew around them, calling

shrilly, until at length they crossed a bank and left it behind.

Soon after, somewhere near them, they heard the unceasing

bubbling of a nightjar—a peaceful sound, without menace, which

died gradually away as they pushed on.

—Richard Adams, Watership

Down

Look for synonyms and near synonyms in the following paragraph.

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Synonyms

They met with no more adventures that night, moving quietly

along the edges of the fields under the dim light of a quarter

moon. The half-darkness was full of sounds and movement.

Once Acorn put up a plover, which flew around them, calling

shrilly, until at length they crossed a bank and left it behind.

Soon after, somewhere near them, they heard the unceasing

bubbling of a nightjar—a peaceful sound, without menace,

which died gradually away as they pushed on.

—Richard Adams, Watership

Down

Look for synonyms and near synonyms in the following paragraph.

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Coherence

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RepetitionRepeating a word or phrase throughout a piece of writing is a strategy for achieving coherence. This technique helps a writer emphasize a point and establish a rhythm.

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Coherence

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Repetition

God made the grass, the air and the rain; and the grass,

the air and the rain made the Irish; and the Irish turned the

grass, the air and the rain back into God.

—Sean O’Faolain,

“Ireland”

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Click to see the repetition

Repeating a word or phrase throughout a piece of writing is a strategy for achieving coherence. This technique helps a writer emphasize a point and establish a rhythm.

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Coherence

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Repetition

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PREVIOUS

Repeating a word or phrase throughout a piece of writing is a strategy for achieving coherence. This technique helps a writer emphasize a point and establish a rhythm.

God made the grass, the air and the rain; and the grass,

the air and the rain made the Irish; and the Irish turned the

grass, the air and the rain back into God.

—Sean O’Faolain,

“Ireland”

EXIT

Continue…

Coherence

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RephrasingCoherence between paragraphs can be achieved by taking a phrase that occurred near the end of one paragraph and rephrasing it near the beginning of the following paragraph.

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What is the rephrased idea in the second paragraph?

. . . Harry knew it must be that dark and unknown beast who haunted the forest, and whom he had unwittingly disturbed in its lair two weeks ago. Now it followed him.

As Harry sped up, this creature out of his wildest nightmares kept pace with him.

Coherence

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Rephrasing

Click to see the rephrased idea

Coherence between paragraphs can be achieved by taking a phrase that occurred near the end of one paragraph and rephrasing it near the beginning of the following paragraph.

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Coherence

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RephrasingCoherence between paragraphs can be achieved by taking a phrase that occurred near the end of one paragraph and rephrasing it near the beginning of the following paragraph.

What is the rephrased idea in the second paragraph?

. . . Harry knew it must be that dark and unknown beast who haunted the forest, and whom he had unwittingly disturbed in its lair two weeks ago. Now it followed him.

As Harry sped up, this creature out of his wildest nightmares kept pace with him.

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Coherence

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Rephrasing

beast = creature

Menu

Coherence between paragraphs can be achieved by taking a phrase that occurred near the end of one paragraph and rephrasing it near the beginning of the following paragraph.

What is the rephrased idea in the second paragraph?

. . . Harry knew it must be that dark and unknown beast who haunted the forest, and whom he had unwittingly disturbed in its lair two weeks ago. Now it followed him.

As Harry sped up, this creature out of his wildest nightmares kept pace with him. i

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Coherence

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Consistent Word ChoiceCoherence can be achieved by choosing words that help create a single mood or tone throughout the writing.

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Coherence

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Consistent Word Choice

In this paragraph, which words help create a coherent mood?

The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot

in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the

visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a

stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have difficulty in

detecting the cheat. . . . His vesture was dabbed in blood. . . .

—Edgar Allan Poe, “The Masque of the Red Death”

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Click to see the words

Coherence can be achieved by choosing words that help create a single mood or tone throughout the writing.

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Coherence

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Consistent Word Choice

Notice how these words all reinforce a somber, ominous mood.

The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot

in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the

visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a

stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have difficulty in

detecting the cheat. . . . His vesture was dabbed in blood. . . .

—Edgar Allan Poe, “The Masque of the Red Death”

Menu

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Coherence can be achieved by choosing words that help create a single mood or tone throughout the writing.