cmiyc script (mti version)

7/21/2019 CMIYC Script (MTI Version)

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/cmiyc-script-mti-version 1/124

M U S I C A L N U M B E R S

CTI

1. Live In Liv ing Co lor 2

la . Live In Liv ing Co lor Tag 8

lb . L iv ing Roo m TV Ch r i s tma s 10

2. The Pin st r ip es Are Al l Th at They See 12

2a. Pin str ipe s Tag 16

3. Som eon e Else 's Skin 18

3a. A Wo rd From O ur Spo nso rs 25

3b. Spo nso rs Tag 26

3c. In tr o To F.B.I. Sce ne 27

3d . F.B.I. Sc en e 29

4.

Jet

Set 30

4a. Jet Set Playoff 36

4b. Tran si t ion to F i r ing Ran ge 38

5. D on ' t Break The Rules 40

5a. D on 't Break Playoff 45

6. Lat in Q ua rter P in st r ip es 47

6a. Sw ank Re stau ran t Source 47

7. But ter O ut ta Cre am 49

7a. But ter to Clu es 51

8. The M an Insid e The Clue s 53

9. Phi l Sp ecto r ' s Favo ri te Xmas 61

10. My Fav ori t e Time of Year 62

— IV —



CT

2

11. En tr ' a c te 66

11a . In t ro To R ive rbe nd Ap ar tm ent s 66

12. D oc tor ' s O rd ers 68

12a. D oc tor ' s O rde rs Playoff 74

12b .L ive In L iv ing Color Repr i s e 77

13. Do n ' t Be A St rang e r 77

14. Litt le Boy Be A M an 83

14a . H an ra t ty ' s Repr i s e

.<

86

15. Seven W ond ers 88

15a. Sev en W on de rs to F.B.I 90

15b. In t ro To Stro ng Fam ily 94

16. (Ou r) Fa m ily Tree 98

16a. Tra nsit ion To Bar 101

16b .Ph one Ca l l / B re nda ' s Room 104

17. Fly, Fly A w ay 108

18. Go odb ye 112

19. Stu ck To geth er (Stra nge But True) 117

20. Bo ws 120

21. Exit M usic 120

— v —



1

ACT ONE

Prologue

A gate area of a large, ultra- modern airport—circa

1960s.

Lights fade up. We hear the sounds of JETS takingoff and landing.

ANNOUNCEMENTS murmur throughout. Courtesy

phones, pages for passengers, calls for specific

airlines and flights, mentioning long-gone airlines

like TWA, Braniff, and Pan Am.

VOICE OVER ANNOUNCEMENT

Welcome to Miami Dade International Airport. Braniff flight 663 service to New York’s Idlewild

Airport is now boarding.

PASSENGERS hurry back and forth, to and from

their flights.

FRANK ABAGNALE, JR. has been sitting on an

airport chair reading the newspaper. FBI Agents

enter, revolvers drawn: BRANTON and DOLLAR.

They mistakenly pursue an airline passenger running

for his flight.

BRANTON

There he is! Hold it right there!

DOLLAR Stop or I'll shoot!

AGENT CARL HANRATTY enters from Stage

Right. As with the other agents, we don't see much

beneath the fedora.

HANRATTY

Hold your fire! Where the heck is he? He’s not giving us the slip this time.

Frank Junior, carrying a suitcase, rises from the chair

and quickly runs up the aisle.

Hanratty looks off stage, then notices Frank Junior exiting in

the house.

Frank Junior, still carrying his suitcase, quicklyreverses course and jumps up onto the stage with

AGENT COD on his tail. The Agents chase him.

Wait a minute, Men. There he goes! That’s him! Goddangit that’s him!



2

BRANTON

Don't move!

DOLLAR

I'll shoot! I will shoot!

Frank Junior hesitates ...

COD

And he's a really bad shot.

... then takes off again. Hanratty gives chase.

HANRATTY

Dammit!

COD

(overlapping)

There. There he is!

BRANTON

(overlapping)

No you don’t!

DOLLAR

(overlapping)

I'm gonna shoot!

A deafening SHOT stops everyone in their tracks.

The Passengers all stop and stare. FRANK, JR.

drops the suitcase which falls open, exposing its

contents. Large quantities of cash.

HANRATTY

For the love of—Dollar, what does "hold your fire" mean where you come from?

DOLLAR (proud)

I fired a warning shot, Agent Hanratty!

COD(squints at ceiling)

I think you shot down a plane.

FRANK JUNIOR

That was close! You could hurt someone.

HANRATTY

Come on, Frank. I'd rather take you alive than dead.

FRANK JUNIOR

Can I at least make a statement first?

HANRATTY

At the airport? No.

FRANK JUNIOR

I'm sure these people want to know why you're shooting at me.(Looks to them: they kind of do)

I think they should know who I am and what I did and why I did it.



3

HANRATTY

This is one of your tricks. Men!

(Jerks his head to the Agents, who close in)

You're not going to fool me again, Frank, like you did in that hotel room in L.A. You're

not putting on a show for these people.

FRANK JUNIOR A show?

(MUSIC: A figure from the orchestra—we'll call it

our STINGER.

Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.)

A show.

(Frank Junior snaps his fingers.

MUSIC CONTINUES with a huge timpani roll.

A sudden reveal shows a lavish backdrop and

tuxedoed ORCHESTRA on a jazzy bandstand.)

We need some lights.

(He waves his arm. Lights change.)

COD

The hell is he doing?

FRANK JUNIOR

A studio audience.

HANRATTY

Misdirection. It's a con. That's the technique.

FRANK JUNIOR

Cameras. And the Frank Abagnale Junior Orchestra!

(He waves to the Orchestra, the CONDUCTOR

acknowledges, and launches into the song proper.)

HANRATTY

Frank, what the hell are you doing? Branton, Cod, get everyone out of here.

(As the other agents hurry the passengers to the exits,

Hanratty edges upstage to check out the orchestra,

keeping his gun on Frank Junior ...

... who crosses downstage to us.)

FRANK JUNIOR

My name is Frank William Abagnale ... Junior. This is my story.

HANRATTY

These people have musical instruments.

Strike bench and counter



4

FRANK JUNIOR

I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. I stole every nickel of it. I flew almost five

million miles as a Pan Am pilot, practiced medicine at a top Atlanta hospital, and worked as a prosecutor for the

State of Lousiana, all under assumed names. Mister Hanratty thinks he has all the facts, but only I know just how I

did it. And I did it in style.

(He sings to us. As he does, Hanratty comes

downstage and notices us, and tries not to be too

unsettled.)

SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

FRANK JUNIOR

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

LET ME TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE

YES, I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

SO SIT BACK AND LET ME BE

YOUR T.V. GUIDE!

(The groove kicks in. Hanratty points the gun atFrank Junior.)

HANRATTY

All right, that’s enough. Frank, you're coming in. Now.

FRANK JUNIOR

Mister Hanratty, when that shot rang out, my whole life flashed before my eyes. I saw it all! Well I mean, the

highlights. Like on a television special or something. Like we used to watch, mom and dad and me.

HANRATTY

You think your life is a T.V. special?

FRANK JUNIOR

I know. Modesty has never been one of my virtues.

HANRATTYVirtue has never been one of your virtues.

FRANK JUNIOR

True story.

(sings)

I GOTTA STORY I'D LIKE TO TELL

BUT I'M GONNA NEED HELP TO TELL IT WELL

I GOTTA STORY ABOUT FAME AND MONEY

AND IT'S GOT MORE CURVES THAN A PLAYBOY BUNNY

I WANNA LIVE NOT JUST SURVIVE

I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE

AND IN LIVING COLOR!

(The ENSEMBLE has entered, and Hanratty finds

himself surrounded by dancing bodies ...)

ENSEMBLE

(on Frank Junior's "color")




5

(... and he ducks, flails, and fights his way out to one

side, as Frank Junior continues. The Ensemble dress

Frank Junior for the show, and bring in the set.)

FRANK JUNIOR

SOMETHING SPECIAL'S UP TONIGHT

YES I'M

FRANK JUNIOR + ENSEMBLE


FRANK JUNIOR

LIFE AIN'T LIVED IN BLACK AND WHITE!

(speaks)

Ladies and gentlemen, the Frank Abagnale Junior Singers and Dancers!

(Hanratty fights his way through the Frank Abagnale

Junior Singers and Dancers and speaks to us.)

HANRATTY

Hold on, Folks, listen, by the time this guy was twenty years old, he had stolen almost one-point-eight million

dollars. He's a con man, plain and simple. Has been since the age of sixteen, when he bilked twenty grand from hisfather's Mobil card to buy presents for girls. When he got caught his only excuse was—

FRANK JUNIOR

I like girls.

HANRATTY

He likes girls. Tell the folks, Frank, how "I like girls" becomes "I'm wanted on five continents."

FRANK JUNIOR

Oh, you mean like the story of how Superman became Superman?

HANRATTY

(half beat)Your ability to pull myth from manure is truly impressive.

FRANK JUNIOR

Thank you!

FRANK JR. + ENSEMBLE


FRANK JUNIOR

AND IT'S BROUGHT TO YOU BY ME

YES IT'S LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

ENSEMBLELIVE IN LIVING COLOR

FRANK JUNIOR

THIS WON'T FIT IN YOUR T.V.!

(speaks)

Also starring my parents, Frank and Paula Abagnale!



6

(MUSIC CHANGES.

FRANK SENIOR and PAULA enter in a sweep, and

begin to dance together, beautifully. They are

mirrored by two other dancing couples. Stunning and

romantic.)

My parents met in France. A little village called Montrichard. After the war. My dad was a GI. My mother was

young and beautiful.

FRANK SENIOR

(To us)

All the people in that little French village were so happy to see Americans that they decided to put on a show for us.

So they crammed two hundred soldiers into a tiny social hall and the first person to walk on stage is your mother,

and she starts to dance ... The men are literally holding their breath. And I turned to my buddies and I said—

FRANK SENIOR + FRANK JUNIOR

—I am not leaving France without that woman.

PAULA

I always get into trouble when I dance with you.

(They dance. Frank Junior watches.)

FRANK JUNIOR

When I was a kid, I could watch them dance all night.

(Hanratty steps in.)

HANRATTY

[continuing as needed]

Frank, come on, I interviewed both your parents, don't try to sell me [some sentimental picture of domestic bliss]—

(Frank Junior plows forth as MUSIC CHANGES.

Frank Senior sweeps Paula off her feet, and they

dance off with the other couples.

FRANK JUNIOR

Also starring Playboy's Playmate of the Year, Cheryl Ann ... Something!

(Lights on CHERYL ANN, who's pissed.)

CHERYL ANN

I'm surprised you even remembered my first name. Listen, you no good sonofabitch—

FRANK JUNIOR

Thank you, Cheryl Ann! And introducing the Strong family, featuring the beautiful, sweet, faithful and true BrendaStrong, R.N.!

(Lights on BRENDA, with ROGER and CAROL

STRONG behind her)

BRENDA

Hi, Frank!



7

FRANK JUNIOR

Hi, Brenda. Listen, I've got this show to do and you're gonna be in it. In fact, you’re one of the stars.

BRENDA

Frank, I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you.

FRANK JUNIOR

You're gonna be great. Now, will you wait for me over there? I'll let you know when it's time.

BRENDA

Frank. I love you.

(Brenda exits with her parents, Frank Junior

watches. And says, to himself:)

FRANK JUNIOR

I loved you, too.

(Hanratty has had enough.)

HANRATTY

All right, Frank. I've heard all I can hear. I don't want to hear any more.

FRANK JUNIOR

I don’t believe you. I think you want the rest of the story.

HANRATTY

I know the whole story – All right, wait a minute, there’s something that still bugs me. How’d you pass the bar

exam? In New Orleans? How’d you cheat the bar?

FRANK JUNIOR

All right Mr. Hanratty I’ll make you a deal. You let me finish, and I’ll tell you anything. We owe each other that

much, don’tcha think? I’ll get to tell my story. And you’ll have a full confession.

HANRATTY

Okay, deal. Frank. Or whatever you're calling yourself today … wait … where am I going?

(Hanratty disappears down the center elevator lift)

FRANK JUNIOR ENSEMBLE

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

SHOO-BEE DOO-WOP, BOP-BOP

JUST WINDOW DRESSING


EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IT'S THE CLOTHES

THAT MAKE THE MAN

CLOTHES THAT MAKE THE MAN

PLAY THE GAME


JUST KEEP 'EM GUESSING


MIX AND MATCH ME

TRY TO CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

OH, I GOTTA STORY THAT'S

STRANGE BUT TRUE



8

I GOTTA STORY THAT'S

STRANGE BUT TRUE

SO COME FLY WITH ME

FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW

SO COME FLY WITH ME

FOR A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW

I'VE GOT THE WORLD

AT MY COMMAND

I'VE GOT THE WORLDAT MY COMMAND

AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN

DISNEYLAND

AND I'LL BE YOUR ONE-MAN

DISNEYLAND

I DON’T WANNA WAIT

FOR THE COPS TO ARRIVE

I WANNA TELL MY STORY LIVE

AND IN LIVING COLOR


TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON, YES I'M

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR BLINK YOUR EYES AND I'LL BE GONE, YES I'M

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON, YES I'M

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

BLINK YOUR EYES

BLINK YOUR EYES BLINK YOUR EYES

AND I'LL

BE GONE BE GONE!

SONG ENDS.

(MUSIC begins again. The ensemble break their tableaux and dance in the background as Frank

Junior speaks to us — our host.)

FRANK JUNIOR

Ladies and gentlemen, our story begins on Christmas Eve, 1964, New Rochelle, New York. The Abagnale home. A

beautiful house on the best street. The house everyone wanted, and the family everyone wanted to be.

(Frank Junior goes, and the Ensemble comes

forward—and set the stage for the Abagnale home.)

SONG: LIVE IN LIVING COLOR (TAG)

ENSEMBLE


TUNE ME IN AND TURN ME ON


BLINK YOUR EYES AND I’LL BE GONE

(As we complete the TRANSITION TO ...)



9

Scene 1: Living Room, The Abagnale House, New

Rochelle

(... and the dancers move to the background and then

disappear.

Paula opens the Christmas Tree.

Frank Senior watches her.

Frank Junior is watching a small color television set,

and the SINGERS fade from house speakers to the

television set—they're on the show Frank Junior is

watching.)

ENSEMBLE (ON TV)

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR …

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR …

SONG ENDS.

PAULAIt truly is a beautiful tree, Frank.

FRANK SENIOR

It’s the genuine spirit of real Christmas, right there - one hundred percent acrylic.

PAULA

But – so that I understand – you left this morning with a Cadillac and two hundred dollars and come home with a

Christmas tree, a television set, and a used Ford?

FRANK SENIOR

Can I strike a bargain or what? I left those guys with their heads spinning.

PAULAI think I know the feeling.

FRANK SENIOR

It’s that Abagnale magic. C’mon – dance with me.

PAULA

Frank, I DO have dinner going-

(But she starts to dance with him. Frank Jr. is still

with the television.)

FRANK JUNIOR

Wow Dad, you're right—everything is better in color.

FRANK SENIOR

How about that thirteen-inch screen?

FRANK JUNIOR

It’s like Andy Williams is right here in our living room.



10

FRANK SENIOR

Nothing’s too good for my boy or my bride.

FRANK JUNIOR

But Dad, didn’t those guys know you were getting away with something?

FRANK SENIOR

People only know what you tell them, Frankie. It’s all a dance – swap the Caddy for the Ford, use the extra cash to

pay the mortgage, use the mortgage to leverage the bank loan, use the loan to tide the business over until you can get

the Caddy back. There’s always another move to make.

PAULA

(pulls away)

I really should see to dinner.

(She goes.)

FRANK JUNIOR

That’s great you got the loan, Dad.

FRANK SENIOR

Shh. I didn’t get the loan.

FRANK JUNIOR

You didn’t – but I thought you said-

FRANK SENIOR

I got something better.

(hands him a checkbook.)

Fifty checks. The account's in your name. I put twenty-five dollars in it so you can buy whatever you want. Don't

tell your mother.

FRANK JUNIOR

Thanks, Dad. But if they didn't give you the loan, why did you —

FRANK SENIOR One day you’re gonna want something from these people. A house, a car. They have all the money. And this meansfrom this day on, you're in their little club.

FRANK JUNIOR

But why didn't they give you the loan?

FRANK SENIOR

Ah, it’s just a technicality. They won't loan to anyone under I.R.S. investigation.

FRANK JUNIOR

Oh.

FRANK SENIOR Listen to me. You remember this story. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up

and drowned. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into

butter …

FRANK SENIOR AND FRANK JUNIOR

… and he climbed out.

FRANK SENIOR

And who are we?



11

FRANK JUNIOR

We're the second mouse.

FRANK SENIOR

Damn straight we are. We're gonna be fine. As a matter of fact, you know what ? We're going downtown to buy

you your Christmas present. A brand new Botany 500 suit.

FRANK JUNIOR

Dad, that’s too expensive.

FRANK SENIOR

Frankie. You know why the Yankees win all the time? It 's not the Mick. It's not Joe Pepitone. It's the uniform.

(MUSIC.)

The other teams just stand there, staring at the pinstripes, mesmerized. The Dodgers were so scared

they had to leave town.

SONG: THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE

FRANK SENIOR

WHEN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO

THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD

WHAT DID SHE SEE?

THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE

DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN

OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE?

KID, WHAT SHE SAW … WAS THE UNIFORM!

THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRISYEAH, THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS

TO US VISITING YANKS

CAUSE THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE

(Frank Senior is joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS in

Yankee pinstripes. Frank Junior comes downstage: our host.)

FRANK JUNIOR

(to us, pausing as needed)

Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest man I know. The man with all the moves, my dad—Frank ... Abagnale ...

Senior!

FRANK SENIOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

WHEN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE

ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX

DO THEY SEE HE’S STILL TIGHT

FROM THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT

AND THE BACK TO BACK “JACKS”?

OOOOOOOH

SMILE AND RELAX

SMILE AND RELAX

STEWED TO THE MAX

FRANK SENIOR

NO!, WHAT THEY SEE IS THE UNIFORM

HOW IT FITS TO A TEE

LIKE THAT VISITING TEAM

THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM

THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE



12

(The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior, and he

emerges dressed smartly in his prep-school blazer.)

IF YOU WANNA BE A SOMEONE

YOU CAN’T LOOK LIKE A BUM

A BOOK’S JUDGED BY IT’S COVER

THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB

I WANNA SEE YA TAKE OFFSTRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR

START DRESSIN’ TO IMPRESS ‘EM

SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR

A KID IN A MAN’S CANDY STORE …

(As Frank Junior speaks to us, Jack Barnes and Paula

enter, not quite separately.

Jack goes to Frank Senior and shakes his hand. Paula

comes to Frank Junior. MUSIC CONTINUES as we

CONTINUE TO:)



- 10 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e 1

L i v i n g R o o m T h e A b a g n a l e H o u s e N e w R o c h e l l e

... and the dancers move to the background and then disappear.

Paula opens the Christmas Tree.

Frank Senior watches her.

Frank Junior is watching a small color television set, and the SINGERS fade from house

speakers to the television set-they re on the show Frank Junior is watching.)

E N S E M B L E O N T V )

LIVE IN LIVING COLOR...

F R A N K J U N I O R

D ad, yo u w ere r ight . Ev ery th in g is bet te r in co lor.

F R A N K S E N I O R

H ow abo u t tha t 13 inch sc reen?


I t ' s l ike Hu l laba lo o i s r igh t her e in ou r l iv ing room

P A U L A

But - so tha t I un de r s t an d - y ou le ft th i s m orn ing w i th a Cad i llac and tw o hu nd re d

do l la r s and come home wi th a te lev is ion and a u sed Fo rd?


Ca n I s t r ike a bar gai n or w ha t? I lef t tho se guys w ith their he ad s s p inn ing .

*

P A U L A

I th ink I know the feel ing .


I t ' s tha t Abagna le mag ic . C 'mon - dance wi th me .

P A U L A

Frank , I hav e d inn er go ing—

But she starts to dance with him . Fra nk Jr. is still with the television.)


Nothing 's too good for my family .



— 12 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

F R N K S E N I O R

D am n s t ra ig ht w e are . We ' re go nn a be f ine. As a m at te r of fact, y o u k n o w w h a t ?

W e ' r e g o i n g d o w n t o w n t o b u y y o u y o u r C h r i s t m a s p re s e n t . A b r a n d n e w B o t a n y

500 suit .

F R N K J U N I O R

Da d, tha t ' s too expens ive .

F R N K S E N I O R

Fran kie . You kn o w wh y the Yankees w in a l l the t ime? I t ' s no t th e Mick. I t ' s no t Joe

Pep i tone . I t ' s the unifor m.

(MUSIC)

Theu See

The other team s jus t s tand there , s ta r in g a t the pins t r ipes , mes m eriz ed. Hel l , they

scared the Dodgers so much they lef t town.

WH EN YOUR MOTHER WALKED INTO

THAT DANCEHALL IN MONTRICHARD

WHAT DID SHE SEE?

THROUGH THE HAZE OF CHAMPAGNE

DID SHE NOTICE MY BRAIN

OR MY COLLEGE DEGREE?

KID, WHAT SHE SAW...WAS THE U NIFORM

THROUGH THE DIRT AND DEBRIS

YES, THOSE LADIES GAVE THANKS

TO US VISITING YANKS

CAUSE*THE PINSTRIPES ARE ALL THAT THEY SEE

(Frank Senior grabs a

mic

and takes the stage. He s joined by a bevy of BEAUTIFU L

GIRL S in Yankee pinstripes.

Frank Junior c omes down stage: o ur host.)

F R N K J U N I O R

(to us, pausing as needed)

Ladies an d gen t l em en , the smar te s t ma n I know . The ma n wi th a ll the mo ves , m y

dad—Frank.. .Abagnale.. .Senior

F R N K S E N I O R

WH EN A PILOT WALKS ONTO THE PLANE

ALL THE PASSENGERS SMILE AND RELAX



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 13 -

B E U T I F U L G I R L S

SMILE AND RELAX

SMILE AN D RELAX

F R N K S E N I O R

DO THEY SEE H E'S STILL TIGHT

FROM THE PARTY LAST NIGH T

AN D THE BACK TO BACK JACKS ?

B E U T I F U L G I R L S

STEWED TO THE MAX

F R N K S E N I O R

NO WHA T THEY SEE IS THE UNIFOR M

HO W IT FITS TO A T

LIKE THE VISITING TEAM

THAT THE YANKEES WILL CREAM


The Beautiful Girls surround Frank Junior, and he emerges dressed smartly in his

prep-school blazer.)

IF YOU W ANN A BE A SOM EONE

CA N'T LOOK LIKE A BUM

A BOO K'S JUDG ED BY ITS COVER

IS THE FIRST RULE OF THUMB

I WANNA W ATCH Y TAKE OFF

STRAIGHT TO THE TOP FLOOR

SO START DRESSIN' T O IMPRESS 'EM

AND SON YOU'LL STROLL IN THE FRONT DOOR

KID IN A MAN'S CANDY STORE...

As Frank Junior speaks to us, Jack Barnes and Paula enter, not quite separately.

ck goes to Frank Senior a nd shakes his hand. Paula com es to Frank Junior.

MUSIC CON TINUES as we CONTINUE TO:)



14

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e

N e w R o c h e l l e i g h S c h o o l

F R N K J U N I O R

Eve rybod y loved my da d . Jack Barnes , the he ad o f the Cham ber o f Com merce ,

cal led h im—

F R N K J U N I O R a n d J C K B R N E S

—the mos t popu la r bus inessman in New Roche l le

P U L

wh y a re you w ear ing you r o ld schoo l b lazer? You ' r e go ing to pub l ic schoo l

now.

F R N K J U N I O R

I t ' s only tem pora ry . D ad ' l l get bac k on h is feet an d I ' l l be back at St. Francis before

you kn ow i t . The F lash i sn ' t the F lash wi tho u t h i s un i fo rm.

P U L

My brave l i t t le so ld ier . You aren ' t af raid of anyth ing .

F R N K J U N I O R

You do what you have to do .

P U L

Well , you do look handsome. Comme tu es beaul

She sighs, kisses him on the cheek, and goes.

Frank Junior heads to school.

He is met by a JOCK and a NERD )

F R N K J U N I O R

'Scuse me, is th is room 17 French?

N E R D

checking his outfit)

W ho wa nt s to kn ow ? The F.B.I.?

The two students LAUG H and move past him, the Jock accidentally on purpose

bumping Frank Junior and sending him stumbling.)

J O C K

Yeah. H e look s like

a...like

a subs t i tu te teacher o r someth in ' .

STINGER.

Frank Junior looks at us and smiles.)



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

2 5


Sho u ldn t you b oys be in c lass?

Depechez-vous. Vite. Vite. Vite.

> ^- •

(Lights change. Frank Senior and Paula are with a dour female PRINC IPAL.)

P R I N C I P A L

Mr. and Mrs . Aba gnale , I reg re t to in fo rm y ou th a t for the pas t we ek , Frank h as be en

teach ing M rs . Glaser s French c lass .

• \ i

P A U L A

a

S

R

He wh a t ?

f P R I N C I P A L

Your son has been p re tend ing to be a subs t i tu te t eacher. Lec tu r in g the s tud en ts ,

g iv ing ou t hom ew ork . Your sorvheld t h r ee teacher-parent conferences yesterday,

and was p lann ing a c lass field t r ip to a French Fry Factory in Trenton.

(Frank Junior wa its, nervously, outside the Principa l s office.)

P A U L A

You ha ve to forgive h im . Th ere s bee n so m uc h cha nge . We los t the house—


(smoothly cuts her off)

Principal Owings, on my way in from the outer off ice, I found th is necklace on the

floor. Is it yo ur s?

(He pulls a locket necklace from his pocket.)

P A U L A

Frank, p lease.


You m us t ha ve d rop pe d it . L ooks l ike i t w as ma de for you . *

P R I N C I P A L

Well . Mister Abagnale .

(But she takes it. As Frank Senior shakes hands with the Principal, w ho exits opposite,

Paula goes to Frank Junior.)

P A U L A

FRANKIE.

(She shakes her head again and goes. Frank Senior takes her place, putting on his hat.

Looks at his son, who slowly meets his gaze.)



— 16 — CATCH ME IF YOU CAN


Fre nch f ry factory?

^ \

i

^ £ _ £

Finally, Frank Senior LAUG HS. And Frank Junior LAUG HS.)

F R A N K S E N I O R F R A N K J U N I O R

YEAH, WE'RE GONNA HIT THE HIGH-LIFE

WE 'VE ONLY JUST BEG UN

WE'RE GON NA BE TOGETHER

FRANK SENIOR AND SON

DINE AT "THE LATIN QUARTER"

A NIGHTCA P AT "TOOTS SHOR"

WE'RE G ON NA BE AT RINGSIDE

AN D LIFE WILL BE BETTER T HA N BEFORE

FOR TWO KIDS IN A MA N'S CANDY STORE

t

,. Frank Senior claps his son on the shoulder and goes. Frank Junior moves to fallow,

, but sees BETTY .)

| ̂ *

J/


Hi.

B E T T Y

,

Hi. I s the Pr inc ipal in he r off ice? I ne ed to g ive he r th is no te f rom m y mo ther ,

excus ing me f rom s ix th per iod .

i


You should fo ld i t . I t ' s more bel ievable that way.

B E T T Y

No , th i s r ea l ly i s a no te f rom m y moth er . -l-^-I M


J

W ha t ' s the f ir st th ing yo u do wh en you r moth er han ds you a no te? You fo ld i t up

and pu t i t in your pocke t .

A half-beat, and Betty folds the note.)

B E T T Y

Tha nks. I 'm Betty .


Frank .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

17 -

B E T T Y

s \ l \ 0 \

•

Nice jacket . \QQ < ^k ^ e l (jAldjs V

She plants an impulsive kiss on his cheek, and goes. He swoons and sings.)

F R N K J U N I O R

WHAT THEY SEE IS THE U NIFORM

JUST ASK ONE MAITRE D'

OR A TAILOR IN PARIS

GO ASK ROGER MARIS


p

Frank Junior dances his way home as we TRANSITION TO...)

{k

<sR



18 -

CATCH

ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e

T h e A b a g n a l e A p a r t m e n t D o w n t o w n N e w R o c h e l l e

Mom Dad I met th is g ir l—


.. .and

as Frank Junior dances in the door, his mother and father dance on opposite.

But with a turn, in an instant, we see that it s not his father. It s JACK BAR NES.

And Frank Junior sees this, and they see him.

MU SIC STOPS suddenly.)

P A U L A

Frank ie You r em em ber your f a the r ' s f r iend , Jack Barnes?

J A C K B A R N E S

Frank . Go od to see you . Pau la , take care .

(He grabs his hat and goes. Frank Junior is silent.)

P A U L A

Are you hungry , F rank ie? I 'l l m ak e you a sa ndw ich .

(Frank Junior doesn t move.)

Frankie?

(No answer.)

You're not going to te l l h im.


N o

P A U L A

Th at ' s r ight . Th ere ' s noth ing to te l l . I 'm goi ng out for a few hou rs to v is i t som e old

f r iends f rom the tenn is c lub , an d wh en I get hom e, we ' l l a ll ha ve d i nne r toge ther ,

r ight?

(Frank Junior rubs his eyes. Paula gets her pocketbook.)

Do yo u need som e money , F rank ie? To bu y some comic books? Here , t ake two

dollars .

(She holds out the money to him, but he just looks at it. Then at her. MU SIC.)

L



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 19 -

F R N K J U N I O R

Two hu nd re d so ld ie rs in tha t t iny soc ia l ha l l , an d

you...you...

P U L

I w as s ix teen yea rs o ld w he n I m et yo ur father. I w as you r age . H ow cou ld I kno w

w h a t I w a n t e d ? Dites done

F R N K J U N I O R

You w an ted h im .

P U L

A n d I w an ted to ge t ou t o f France . A nd I w an te d to ha ve a chikl.

(She reaches for him , but he pulls away.)

(considers him, then)

I t w as a lon g t im e ago, Frank ie. Bel ieve m e, one day you ' l l look at yourse lf , and yo u

w o n ' t

be who

y o u we re .

^ ^ Q ^

^\QuJ [y

(He turns away from her and walks into his bedroom: piles of comic books, superhero

posters, a Flash bedsprea d. He takes his jacket off and tosses it.)

5

. L ^ F R N K J U N I O R

THERE'S NO PHONE BOOTH

THERE'S NO CAPE

THERE'S NO STEVE MCQUEEN

TO HEL P ME MAKE MY GREAT ESCAPE

HO W CAN I FLY

LIKE A HERO IN THE SKY

BE A SHOOTING STAR OUT IN THE STRATOSPHERE

? ^ f o r w c»-v~c{

WHERE'S THE SHADOW

HE MIGHT KNOW

WHE RE'S THAT SEARCHLIGHT IN THE SKY

TO POINT THE WAY TO GO?

THROUGH SOME NEW CLOUD

TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE CROWD

THO UGH THE FUTURE'S DARK

THERE'S ONE THING CRYSTAL CLEAR

THAT THERE'S NO HOME HERE. . .

(MUSIC CONTINUE S as we TRANSITION TO:)



- 20 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e

F a m i l y C o u r t a n d T r a i n S t a t i o n N e w R o c h e l l e

The Family Court Judge enters with Frank Senior and Paula...)

J U D G E

Son, l i s ten to me . We just ne ed a na m e. Your m ot he r or yo ur fa ther .

(...and

as the bedroom goes away, F rank Junior com es downstage for that

break-in-a-ballad

confessional moment.)

F R A N K J U N I O R f C~

to us)

One day the p r inc ipa l pu l l s me ou t o f c l a ss and dr ives me to the Cour thouse .

Do esn ' t t el l m e why . I wa lk in and see my pa ren t s u p f ron t , w i t h the ir l awyers , an d

the judge .

J U D G E

I t can get very expensive , people f ight ing over the i r chi ldren.

P A U L A

N ob od y ' s f igh ting . Look a t me , F rank . No bo dy ' s f igh t ing .

j The adults continue, overlapping , as Frank Junior sings to us.)

1 F R A N K J U N I O R

,

I

SO MANY VOICES TELLING ME TO CHOO SE

I

S J U D G E

\

Th e cou rt can decid e thes e thing s, bu t i t ' s be t ter if the family does .

^ F R A N K J U N I O R

; IT'S LIKE A GAME WH ERE EITHER TEAM I LOSE

\ F R A N K S E N I O R

Fra nk , jus t giv e th em a frame, an d this wil l al l be over. I t 's goin g to be okay.


THIS KINDA NOISE JUST MAKES ME WA NNA SHOUT

P A U L A

M y bra ve li t tle soldier . Do wh at you ha ve to do.

I


I I'D LIKE TO BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET OUT

j F R A N K S E N I O R

Fran k, I 'm sorry. I 've got no ro om to m ov e here .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 21 -

F R N K J U N I O R

RULES OF THE R OAD SAY DON T LOOK BACK ^ ^ ^ -

EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD, D ON T JUM P THE TRACK

TRY

A

NEW GAME

AND PRAY THAT I CAN W IN ^ • ^ > * f

«{t *~ .C

CAUSE I JUST DON T FEEL AT HOM E IN MINE

SO I LL SLIP NOW

INTO SO MEONE ELSE S SKIN

And as the music hits a driving groove, Frank Junior turns an d runs.

The Family Court disappears. Frank is on the street, COMM UTER S hurrying to

and fro.)

C O M M U T E R S

HOO-HOO, HOO HOO

F R N K J U N I O R

I SEE THE M APS FROM EVERY BOOK I VE READ

THE W ORLD S THAT I HAVE LIVED INSIDE

MY

HEAD

I THO UG HT A LOVE LIKE THEIRS COULD NEVER DIE

IF IT CA N FADE AWAY THEN SO CA N I

F R N K J U N I O R

YEAH FIRST YOU SEE ME ,

BUT THEN YOU DO N T

DON T LOOK FOR ME YOU

KNOW I WO N T

EVEN BE THERE

SO LET THE GAM ES BEGIN

CAUSE I

JUST DON T FEEL AT HOME IN MINE

SO I LL SLIP NOW

INTO SOMEONE

ELSE S SKIN

E N S E M B L E

0 0 0 0 0 0

KNOW I W ON T

AH-AH-AH-AH

AH-AH-AH-AH

HOO-HOO,

HOO-HOO

New Rochelle Train Station. A ticket agent appears. Frank Junior hands him a couple

of crum pled bills.)



22

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

F R N K J U N I O R

One fo r Grand Cen t ra l S ta t ion , p lease .

R I L R O D G E N T

R ou nd tr ip is f ive dol lars . O ne wa y is three. You ha ve tw o.

The Railroad Agent holds up the bills. MUSIC CHAN GES.

Lights c hange, isolating F rank Junior. He looks at us, and speaks rapidly, without

pause, as the Railroad Agent continues as if Frank Junior is still in the scene with him.)

F R N K J U N I O R

Okay , so I d idn ' t r ea l ly know what I was doing, I ju s t kne w I ha d to ge t ou t , an d m y

ins t inc ts took over . M ain ta in eye con tac t . Kee p ta lk ing . A nd I t ake m y m on ey back

f rom the t icke t se l le r and make i t d i sappear —

He does, using a nifty bit of sleight-of-hand. MU SIC CHA NGE S.)

— an d I sp in som e ta le abou t m ee t i ng m y g r an dm oth er in the c ity wh i le I ask fo r m y

c h a n g e , e v e n t h o u g h h e d o e s n ' t o w e m e a n y c h a n g e —

R I L R O D G E N T

Wait , wha t?

F R N K J U N I O R

— b u t

I

ke ep ta lk ing , an d wa i t ing for my c hange , and in h is con fus ion he g ives m e

tw o do l la r s back , so no w I ha ve fou r do l la r s wh i ch i s en ou gh for my one way t icke t

to M anh at ta n , because I do n ' t p la n on com ing back— Tha nks , Mr . M or ton c ^ ^ J-

The Railroad Agent takes the money from Frank Junior, who takes the ticket without

missing a beat.

He turns to go, bu t:)

Hold i t

W h a t ?

R I L R O D G E N T

F R N K J U N I O R

R I L R O D G E N T

F R N K J U N I O R

Your ticket.

T h a n k y o u .

MUSIC BUILDS.)

T h e y w a n te d m e to choose...and I chose the N ew H av en l ine , Track Two ,

the ten-f if teen to New York City



C TCH ME IF YOU C N

23

F R N K J U N I O R

I M GONNA

RUN D OW N THE STREET

RUN OUT OF TOWN

I M G ONN A RUN FROM THE

HOME TEAM

AND NEVER TOUCH D OWN

RUN FROM THE BOOKS

CAUSE IT S ALL BEEN

A

FAKE

I M GO NNA RUN FROM THE

CHOICES

THAT I DON T W ANNA MAKE

SCHOOL S NOT OUT BUT

I CA N T WAIT

IT S THE PERFECT TIME TO

GRADUATE

<-.<--K.<

c

*

TODAY

I VE GO T TO RU N AWAY N OW

I VE GOTTA RUN AWAY

^

E N S E M B L E

RUN DOW N THE STREET

RUN OUT OF TOWN

RUN FROM THE BOOKS

CAU SE IT S ALL BEEN

A

FAKE

A H H H

A H H H

A H H H

A H H H

TODAY-AY-AY-AY

HOO-HOO

HOO-HOO

I KNOW THEY LL SEE THE

TRUTH WHEN I MOVE ON

THEY LL NEED EACH OTHER

MUC H MORE ONCE I M G ONE

AND W HEN I M FLUSH

AN D HE S BACK ON HIS FEET

I LL PICK HIM U P AND

RIDE DOWN EASY STREET

N O TIME TO CRY

FOR ALL

THE YEARS

A RUSTY GAS TANK

FULL OF TEARS

GETS YOU NOW HERE

NOT THE PLACES I WANT IN

AND

I

JUST DON T

FEEL

AT

HOME IN MINE

SO I LL SLIP N OW

INTO SOM EONE ELSE S SKIN

OO OO OO

FULL OF TEARS

AH-AH

AH-AH

AH-AH-AH-AH



24

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

F R A N K J U N I O R )

INTO SOM EONE ELSE S SKIN

INTO SOMEON E ELSE S SKIN

INTO SO MEON E ELSE S SKIN

E N S E M B L E )

INTO SOMEO NE ELSE S SKIN


INTO SOMEONE ELSE S SKIN


INTO SOMEO NE ELSE S SKIN

INTO SOMEON E ELSE S SKIN

INTO SOM EONE ELSE S

INTO SO MEO NE ELSE S SKIN

MUSIC CONTINUES as we TRANSITION TO:)



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

25

S c e n e 5

C h a s e B a n k M a n h a t t a n

(On applause from SOM EONE ELSE S SKIN, Frank Junior comes downstage to speak

to us.

in ur Svousoi


And now, l ad ie s and gen t l emen, a word f rom my sponsors

(He gestures, and three ATTRAC TIVE ASSISTANTS come dancing in.)

These grea t p roduc t s can he lp you surv ive your f i r s t f ew weeks in New York wi th

just f if ty checks and a driver 's l icense.

(Three ATTRACT IVE ASSISTANTS bring in the products as Frank describes them.)

Swiss A rm y Penkn ives can he lp you a l t e r the age on yo ur d r iv e r ' s l i cense . Because a

sixteen-year-old cashing a check or opening an account by himsel f—

A T T R A C T I V E A S S I S T A N T 1

(with Swiss Army knife)

—gets a lo t of quest ions


Higgins b rand Genuine Or ig ina l Ind ia Ink f lows easy th rough your pen or brush—a

few dabs on your l icense , you ' re ten years older .


(with bottle of ink)

And no one can tel l the difference


Elmer 's Glue i s perfec t for the craf tsperson of any age who needs to change the i r

name . Wi th a pa i r of sc i ssors yo u can cu t an d pas te nam es f rom o the r doc um ent s ,

and yo u ' r e official ly F ran k Taylor Junior . A nd i f Fra nk Taylor w ea rs ou t his

welcome—


(with Elmer s Glue)

You can be Fran k Wil l iams


Or Frank Con ners .



TTT

j*<

- 26

-

Or Wil l iam Taylor.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN


A S S I S T A N T 1

A SNIP,

A S S I S T A N T 2

A DAB,

A S S I S T A N T 3

A TOUCH OF GLUE

F O U R A S S I S T A N T S

AND YOU'LL BE GOO D TO GO


BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR SPONSORS

F O U R A S S I S T A N T S

NOW, RIGHT BACK TO THE SHOW

As the Attractive Assistants dance off)


In a few shor t months I soaked every branch of Chase Manhat t an in the f ive

bo rou ghs an d no r t he r n N e w Je rsey and d r op ped ru bbe r i n j u s t abou t eve ry ho t e l ,

grocery s tore , an d dry c l eaners f rom here to Ho bok en. I wa s the Joh nny App leseed

of fraud.

O ±<?

f) 5

Q

,

B A N K T E L L E R

I 'm sorry, Miste r Taylor. I ca n ' t cash this a check this large w i th ou t my

manager's

app rova l . If yo u 'd l i ke to wa i t a mo me nt I can go ge t . . . 'IJ&J?,*i'V \o

Kj

^

tf

-

rS/

<

> F R A N K J U N I O R

c v

^

Say, Dian e, I found th i s on the s idew alk ou t front , and I t h ink i t mig ht be yo urs —

He bends to his valise)

B A N K T E L L E R

Well Mister Taylor . . .


I t looks l ike i t was made for y o u . \y

K

f/l< <• v) S) >

0v

' *-

B A N K T E L L E R

Well . . .Uh.. .perhap s I can mak e an except ion for one of our m ost va lu ed cus tom ers .

wJL



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 27 -

F R N K J U N I O R

Thank you Diane .

Once my f i r st fif ty checks ran o u t , I bo ug ht a l it t le p r in t ing p res s an d m ad e m y ow n.

I wa s p ro du c in g more rubb e r than a ti re facto ry . Mis te r Ha nra t ty an d h i s t eam we re

sti l l trying to pick up my trail .

(Frank Junior sings as we TRANSITION :)

AND THOU GH I'M LIVE IN LIVING COLOR

AT THE FBI THE SHOW 'S IN BLACK AN D WHITE.

(A cluttered, down-on-its-heels FBI office with lots of filing cabinets, overflowing

wastebaskets and too many pizza

boxes.-

You wouldn t want to work there.

Four men in suits and ties are present. They are BILL COD, TOD BRANTO N,

JOHNN Y DOL LAR, a rookie, and CARL HAN RATTY, whom we ve already met and

the only on e who seems to be actually working at his desk. The others have their feet up

on their desks and are doing what they generally do best: belly-aching.

The phone is ringing.)

B R N T O N

So anyw ay , to m ake a long s to ry shor t , w e ' re h av in g tu rk ey fo r Chr i s tm as a f te r a l l .

I wa s jus t t ry ing to exp and you r t a s te bu ds , she t e ll s me . The y do n ' t need no

expan ding , I t e ll he r . N orm al peop le do n ' t ea t goose .

(CARL HANRAT TY answers the phone)

FBI.

The low er de pth s .

H N R T T Y

B R N T O N

H N R T T Y

This is specia l age nt Carl Ha nra t ty . M err y C hris tm as .

C O D

I t ' s a l l tha t Jul ia Q u id s ' faul t. She pu ts ' e m up to i t . W ha t w as wr on g w ith

Am er ican food? No th ing , t il l she cam e a long . You 'd op en a can of tun a , cho p so m e

onions and ce lery , add mayo, mix ' em a l l together and

voila

Haute cuisine. I ha te

Public Television.

D O L L R

Me, too. All they do is talk.



24

Scene 6: F.B.I. Office

The elevators begin to lift the FBI office into view. Agents

BRANTON, COD, and DOLLAR are drowning in checks and

we hear:)

COD

Dollar! What have you done!

BRANTON

Yeah, Dollar, the next time we tell you to move file boxes, and you stack them ten high, could you make sure you’re

under them when they fall?

DOLLAR

Whoops!

HANRATTY

Leave the kid alone.

BRANTON

Come on, Hanratty. We always give the rookies a hard time. Don’t you remember how they razzed you?

HANRATTY

Yes, and it’s an experience I see no reason to repeat. Now listen, we have three or four major-league paperhangers

somewhere in this mess, so we are going to sort it out, even if it means we drop dead at our desks and our fossilized bones are discovered in some archeological dig in the twenty-first century.

COD

C’mon Hanratty it’s 4:45. It’s Thanksgiving.

HANRATTY

Listen — We do the job because it's the job and as long as I'm Interim Second Assistant Special Agent in Charge of

the Bank Fraud and Forgery Subdivision, North Atlantic region — thank you very much — we will do the job until

it’s done. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving.

BRANTON

That’s easy for you to say, Hanratty. Some of us still have wives.

HANRATTY

Low blow, Agent Branton. And, by the way, go home for lunch one of these days, unannounced, and see how thatworks out for you.

(The men laugh.)

DOLLAR

He got you there.

BRANTONShouldn’t you be in another department? Like maybe daycare?

DOLLAR

I was auditing background checks for the Library of Congress and I asked for a transfer. I requested something

where I could use my gun. I like guns. And cars. Anything loud or fast, basically.

HANRATTY(shudders)

How about Shelley Winters? She’s loud and fast. Come on, Dollar, I know that this job is not as exciting as

fieldwork, or counter-intelligence—



25

COD

Or a long, slow death.

HANRATTY

—and maybe nobody knows you're down here. But he does. Oh yeah, he does. The one you're after. He knows.

And the day you catch him, and you will, the day you slap those cuffs on him and watch them haul him away (music

under) —oh, now this is interesting (more music under). This is very, very interesting.

BRANTON

I know you think so, and that’s the sad thing.

HANRATTY

Look at these two. He’s changing the MICR numbers on the checks.

DOLLAR

Micker? Micker Mouse?

COD

Who the hell is Micker Mouse?

HANRATTY

MICR! MICR! M-I-C-R. Magnetic Ink Character Recognition. Jiminy Christmas, Frank Taylor

must've got hishands on a MICR encoder.

(looks at the other check)And Frank Williams too. Look here. If you change a zero-two to a one-two, a check that was cashed in New York

gets rerouted all the way to San Francisco and it’s weeks before the bank that cashed it knows they’re bad.

DOLLAR

You mean those numbers at the bottom the check actually mean something?

HANRATTY

They mean that Frank Taylor and Frank Williams and William Franklin are the same person. They mean that he can

stay in one place and write bad checks for weeks and weeks. And that means there must be thousands more checks

just like this out there – more bum checks than a Prague prison!

(A second load of checks drops.)

BRANTON, COD + DOLLAR Nooooo!

HANRATTY

And that means no Christmas for you MICR mouse.

(He points at Cod.)

And no Hanukah either.

(MUSIC. Frank Junior returns and the men sweep

the checks onto the lifts as we TRANSITION TO:)



- 30

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e 6

O u t s i d e t h e T u d o r H o t e l M a n h a t t a n a n d i n t h e S k i e s

4 n

l W Jew

S

I


I ' d a lw ays w an ted to be good a t som eth ing . N o w I w as rea l ly

good...at

p a s s i n g b a d

checks . I w as a c rook , no th i ng more . Bu t the n one day , a s I w en t wa lk in g pas t the

Tudor Hote l on 42nd S t ree t , des t iny came wa lk ing ou t those revo lv ing

doors, y #/ «£

He almost collides with a beautiful young Pan Am STEW ARDE SS emerging, travel

bag in hand.)

G o s h ,

I'm

so—

He takes her measure.)

—sorry.

S T E W A R D E S S # 1 ( C I N D Y )

It's quit e all right.

She continues past him, as Frank watches, agape. A SECOND STEW ARDE SS comes

through the door.)

S T E W A R D E S S # 2

MINDY)

Excuse me .


Uhh—no,

excuse

me—kinda

la te to be checking out , i sn ' t i t?

S T E W A R D E S S # 2 ( M I N D Y )

We al l have evening f l ights .


We all...?

A parade of STEW ARDE SSES, all in the same Pan Am outfit, march in through the

door, satchels in hand. He bobs and weaves as they move through.)


O h , I—

excuse me—whoops —hello,

there. . .

STEWARDESS # 3 bumps him on her way by...)

S T E W A R D E S S

# 3

LINDY)

Oh Excuse me .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

31 -


N o . . .excuse m e . Um. W ho are yo u all w ai t in g for?

T H E S T E W A R D E S S E S

The pilots.

(Frank Junior

blinks,

STINGER.

He smiles at us, then at her.)


Excuse me, miss . .

.I've

been t ra in in g as a p i lo t . I s Pa n A m hi r ing?

S T E W A R D E S S 1 ( C I N D Y )

Aren ' t yo u swee t . Here .

(She pulls a business card from her bust. It s the wrong one. She pulls another; then

the third tim e s the charm :)

H ere i t is . Talk to Jerr y Taylor, V P of pe rso nn el . Tell hi m C ind y sent y ou .


Th ank you , M iss Cindy. Tell me—is f ly ing every th ing i t ' s c racked u p to be?

S T E W A R D E S S 1 ( C I N D Y )

The only th ing bet ter than flying—is a good long layover . V\J A

v^

̂ l—

(Frank Junior steps dow nstage: to us, our host.)

Lw&'.tS

t

r^k/r^^


Cindy, Mind y, Lindy, Kell ie, Shell ie, Ne ll ie, She rrie, Terri , Ka rrie, an d Jane . I l ike to

call th em Th e Jet Set .

C I N D Y

WOKE UP IN BROOKLYN

WITH A FROWN U PON MY FACE

(One by one, the other Stewardesses join her, telling Frank Junior how it is.)

M I N D Y

JUST LEFT W ISCONSIN

WHERE THERE'S CHEESE ENO UG H '

*

TO START THIS RAT RACE

C I N D Y

BUT THAN KS TO THE BROTHERS WRIGHT



- 3 2 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

.• • -

v

\ C I N D Y M I N D Y

V

9

^ r. a '

. o O ^ .,*

WE DO N'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL SLEEP TONIGHT

ji> '

„•/ C I N D Y

V / 0 YEAH, I 'M A BIRD IN THE SKIES

M I N D Y

AN D TOMORROW W HEN I RISE

LINDY

I'LL WAKE UP IN PARIS

WITH A NEW LOVE IN MY HEART

S H E L L I E

OR MAYBE GERMANY

WITH THAT BRAND NEW PET

I MET IN STUTTGART

N E L L I E

SKY'S THE LIMIT, IT'S TIME TO PLAY

I'LL PUT DO WN RQOTS SOME OTHER DAY

J A N E

NO NEED TO,BE A LONELY JOE

S T E W A R D E S S E S

THE JET-SET IS THE

J A N E

ONLY WAY TO GO

One Stew ardess pulls a pair of horn-rimm ed glasses from her satchel and puts them on

Frank Junior. Another Stewardess opens her satchel, and he takes out a camera and a

notebook. A PAN AM EXE CUTIVE enters.)

*

P A N A M E X E C U T I V E

. A ^ r y A ^ U

So you ' re the k id wr i t ing the ar t ic le for the school paper?


turns to him, now a high school kid)

Yes s ir . Fran k Black f rom M onro e H ig h School . I w an t to kn ow e very th in g there is

to kn ow a bou t be ing a Pa n A m p i lo t . Fo r in s tance , wh at does i t m ea n w he n on e

p i lo t says to ano ther p i lo t, I ' ve bee n on the sam e equ ip m en t a l l wee k , jumpin'

p u d d le s fo r t h e w e a k a n d w e a r y ?

P A N A M E X E C U T I V E

M ean s they 've been f ly ing the sam e p lane , sho r t f lights , mo s t ly com mu ter s .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

33


An d wh a t ab ou t t hose I .D . bad ges t ha t I ' ve s een p i l o ts w ea r?

P A N A M E X E C

Every pi lo t has to ha ve i t wi th h im a t al l t imes . I t ' s an a i r l ine pers on nel ba dg e , l ike

t h i s one he r e from P an A m.


Th ank you for yo ur t ime, s i r Ca n I ge t a p ic ture ?

^

^.Q)C -ze>>oi^

P A N A M E X E C

Oh, sure .

Frank Junior points the camera right at his ID badge. FLA SH.)

F R A N K J U N I O R l

l l

G ot

it

The Executive goes and the Stewardesses are back.)

S T E W A R D E S S E S

WOULD JA

LIKE NEW MUSIC AN D MYST'RY

EACH AND EVERYDAY

LOSE THE SAME O LD MUSIC AND HIST'RY

MAKE A NEW FRIEND T HEN

FLYAWAY

One Stewardess brings Frank Junior an in-flight cart with familiar sponsor products:

Penknife, scissors, glue, India ink. Frank holds u p a blank piece of paper, and goes to

work making a Pan Am Badge.)

Q

^ ^ o f

w

̂ ^ <

t

;

AND.. .WAKE

UP IN TEXAS

WHERE THEY TREAT THEIR WOM EN RIGHT

AND T HEN TRY HOLLYWOOD

WHERE THE STARS GET LIT

OUT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

ANY CITY, NEAR OR FAR

FEELS TWICE AS GOO D AS WHERE YOU ARE

WH EN YOU'RE SICK OF THE STATUS QU O

THE JET-SET IS

THE ONLY WAY TO G O...

Frank Junior holds up his completed badge.)


My Pa n A m pi lo t ' s bad ge H ow cool i s tha t?



— 34 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

A Stewardess wheels the cart away.

A TA ILOR enters, uniform jac ket in his hand, pants drape d over his arm.)

<^[_

T I L O R

Awfully young to be a p i lo t , aren ' t ya?

F R N K J U N I O R

I get tha t a lot. I ' m jus t a co-pilo t.

T I L O R

putting the jacket on him )

W h y s o n e r v o u s ?

F R N K J U N I O R

How would you feel i f you los t your uniform your f i r s t week on the job?

T I L O R

Ah, I hea r you . That ll be one for ty- three n inety-seven.

F R N K J U N I O R

Ca n I wr i te yo u a check?

T I L O R

No—no

checks , no cash . Jus t need you i employee number .

He pulls out a form and begins to fill it out. Frank tries to read it upside down , to

count spaces far numbers:)

F R N K J U N I O R

Of cou rse. I t 's . Six. On e.

Four...zero.

Three.(?) Five.(?)S—

But before he gets the next num ber out, the Tailor nods, finished, and Frank Junior

pulls it back.)

T I L O R

Grea t I ' ll b i l l Pa n A m /th ey ' l l t ake i t ou t of yo ur nex t payche ck .

F R N K J U N I O R

Even bet ter .

Frank Junior and the Tailor go off as the PILO TS enter with Stewardesse s.)

frt S U

L L P I L O T S

WOULD'JA LIKE A SLEIGH RIDE, A HAYRIDE?

THEN KIDDO, JUST STAY H OM E

BUT, IF YOU W ANT JET-SET TH EN GET SET

TO LEAVE BEHIND KANSAS

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE ROME



C A T C H M E I F Y o u CAN

35

Cc

L L S T E W R D E S S E S

WAKE UP IN RIO

HAVE YOUR COFFEE IN BRAZIL

L L P I L O T S

WHEN REAL LIFE GETS YOU DOWN

TAKE

A

P I L O T S a n d S T E W R D E S S E S

FAR-OUT, ONE-WAY

TRIP TO SPLITZVILLE

*

L L P I L O T S

SWEDISH, GREEK OR JAPANESE

L L S T E W R D E S S E S

A STEWARDESS IS TRAINED TO PLEASE

L L

SO IF YOU'VE G OT W HAT IT TAKES BELOW

WELL

THEN FLY THIS BIRD LIKE C UPID'S BOW

CAUSE TH E JET SET'S JUST A HOLIDAY

YEAH TH E JET SET GOES

UP, UP A ND

AWAY...SO

FLY

Frank Junior joins them, his uniform at last perfect, cap and aviators on. A stunning

sight.)

F R N K J U N I O R

RIGHT DOWN TO

IT LY

FOR LA BELLA FEM INA

JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN

S T E W R D E S S E S

WOO

F R N K J U N I O R

FOR

P I L O T S a n d S T E W R D E S S E S

BIG DOSE OF LA DOLCE VITA

F R N K J U N I O R

IF YOUR TASTES RUN MORE

RISQUfi

T W O S T E W R D E S S E S

WELL THE N, WE KN OW A JOINT IN OLD BOMBAY

\}OJt\

1



36

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

L L

SO HAN G O N TIGHT

LET'S LOOP DE LOOP

IT'S TIME TO FLY

THIS CHICKEN COOP \QA/I /V-* b f

w

& ̂ ' ^ ^

SO PACK UP YOUR SUITCASE

CHECK YOUR WORRIES AT THE GATE

COME OUT AN D PLAY BOY

CRUISE THE WORLD TO FIND

YOUR PERFECT PLAYMATE

F R N K J U N I O R

THIN GS LOOK BETTER FROM ABOVE

SO BUCKLE UP, NEXT STO P IS LOVE

L L

FROM TIMBUKTU TO TOKYO

FROM MOZAMBIQUE TO MEXICO

YEAH THE JET SET IS THE

ONLY WAY TO GO \j X JC * . | i .

F R N K J U N I O R

BA D BA BOP BA BA BA D BA

r t v v . w A

A

VA

L L

OH-OH

SONG ENDS.

MU SIC begins again. As the others exit, one Stewardess retrieves Frank Junior...

until he sees CHE RYL ANN coming the other way, and he turns and follows her as we

TRANSITION TO...)

• t



S c e n e

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 37 -

T h e P l a z a H o t e l M a n h a t t a n

(In the hotel corridor, Cheryl Ann senses Frank Junior and stops and turns.

x K i ,

L

C H E R Y L A N N

ry

~

Nice

uniform.


Um. Do I kn ow you f rom som ewh ere?

C H E R Y L A N N

Ma ybe. I w as on the cover of Seventeen.. .a few ye ars ag o.

R NK J U N I O R

O h , w o w , yeah—you re t h a t m o d e l C h e r y l Ann—something—in the Plaza . Gee ,

d ' y ou th ink I cou ld ge t an au to gra ph?

C H E R Y L A N N

Do you have a pen . . .in y o u r r o o m ?


Um . I th ink

I

do.

C H E R Y L A N N / ,

So. Capta in .

W * S L <*<** W ^


Oh—call me F rank .

C H E R Y L A N N

Frank. Are you going to make me an offer?

£ ^

{

.

< S w

^

> t / r >

,

c c

F R A N K J U N I O R ^

I — I 'm sorry — an offer for w ha t?

C H E R Y L A N N

A m an l ike you can bu y any th in g he wan ts . W ha t ' s a n igh t wo r th? Wi th me ?

(She opens her fur coat to reveal to FRAN K JR that she s naked underneath)


I — gosh , I r ea lly do n ' t know , Chery l . Um . Three h un dr ed ?

(She closes her coat)

Five hundred?

(She starts down the hallway.)

A t h o u s a n d ?



- 38 -

• -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

She stops. Turns.)

C H E R Y L N N

One thousand do l la r s .

F R N K J U N I O R

he reaches in a pocket and grabs a wad of checks)

I have to cash a check. \oe^z

-VTP V ̂cw ̂ •N*/*

C H E R Y L N N

You th ink th is hotel is going to cash a thousand dollar check at three a .m.?

F R N K J U N I O R

rifling through the checks and pulling one out)

Th ey ve don e i t for me before. I t s a ca shi er s chec k.

C H E R Y L N N

she takes it and inspects it)

Endorse i t over to me.

F R N K J U N I O R

I t s fo r fou r teen hu nd red .

~ A

C H E R Y L N N

You give me the check. . .

pulling cash from her bust)

..

.and

I l l g ive yo u four hu nd re d dollars .

She hands him the check and the cash and turns to go)

F R N K J U N I O R

Even bet ter .

.

fr

x

MUSIC. He follows her off.)



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 39 -

S c e n e 8

A F i r i n g R a n g e F B I T r a i n i n g G r o u n d Q u a n t i c o V A

As Frank Junior leaves with Cheryl Ann, Hanratty and the men enter, guns a blazing.

Hanra tty takes aim and fires off a round. )

B R N T O N

as he reloads)

So , Hanra t ty , wh y the he l l d id you d rag us ou t to Qua n t ico? Th is guy ' s a pe n and

ink m an . A pape rhang er . H e p roba b ly doe sn ' t even car ry a gun .

H N R T T Y

W e're get t ing closer to th is guy. You ne ed to get back so m e of the sk il ls yo u 'v e los t ,

s i t t ing a round , sneak ing peppermin t schnapps f rom your co f fee cup .

B R N T O N

But w e can ' t f ix a locat ion . O ne da y he ' s in Dallas . Th e next he ' s in Stu t tga r t .

Rome. Barcelona.

C O D

H e's gone g lobal . Th e las t ba d checks ca m e in f rom Liech tenstein . W her e the hel l is

Leichtenstein?

H N R T T Y

The p r inc ipa l i ty of L iech tens te in is a land locked a lp ine cou n t ry in Wes te rn Euro pe

bordered by Swi tzer land to the wes t and sou th and Aus t r ia to the eas t .

B R N T O N

He ' s ju s t a forger , Hanra t ty . There ' s no wa y the Bureau ' s gonn a g ive us t r ave l

money to L ich ten -what .

C O D

Lichtenstein .

Yeah.

B R N T O N

H N R T T Y

This guy 's jus t a forger like Mic key Ma ntl e is jus t a h i t ter . H e ' s got m y da nd er u p

a n d m y in te r e s t p iq u e d . ( T h a t 's " p iq u e d " w i th a " Q " ) . I t h a s n ' t p e a k e d in a l o n g

t ime . (Tha t ' s "pe ak ed " wi th a "K" ) H e ' s no t ju s t p lay ing the gam e, boys . H e ' s

m ak i ng the ru les . H e ' s a t rue ta len t .

C O D

Jesus , Ha nrat ty . You w an t to ar res t h i m or h ire h im ?

H N R T T Y

I see th is guy in my s leep . Six ty ish , salt-and-pepper tall. He's Old School , a

v i r tuoso . He ' s bee n ho n in g h is c ra ft fo r year s . Bu t , they a lw ays ma ke a mis take .



- 40 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

H A N R A T T Y )

I t 's the overconf idence . , Or the win e . Or the w om en .

Bullets WH IZ and DING and they

du k

for cover.)

B R A N T O N

What the he l l

D O L L A R

entering)

You know, i f shooting people is anyth ing l ike target pract ice , i t ' s very

disappoint ing . I d idn ' t feel a th ing .

H A N R A T T Y

Do ggo ne i t, th i s job i s no t ab ou t sh oo t ing a t peop le . A nd i f s no t abo u t

pu nc h in g the c lock , wa i t in g fo r r e t ir eme n t , o r en joy ing a qu ick ie wi th the

secretary o n 3 . I t ' s ab out jus t one gu y - th is Fra nk Taylor a .k .a . Fra nk

Wil l iams a .k .a . Wi l l iam Frank l in . H e ' s ou t there , toy in g wi th me . Taun t ing

me.

C O D

C'm on , Hanra t ty . H e doe sn ' t eve n kn ow you ex is t .

H N R T T Y

H e will. Believe it . H e will .

B R A N T O N

Oka y, okay. Stay cool.

H A N R A T T Y

I w i l l no t s tay coo l . I ha ve nev er bee n coo l an d I do n ' t in tend to s ta r t now.

B R A N T O N

Hanra t ty , were you a lways l ike th i s?

H A N R A T T Y

Long as I can

remember

MUSIC.)

I th ink I w as bo rn th i s way . Oth er k ids w an te d to p lay cops and robber s . I

on ly wan ted to p lay cops .

IT STARTS VERY EARLY

ONC E TH E BABY TOYS ARE GO NE

A

KID ON THE PLAYGROUND

HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT SIDE HE'S O N

kri L



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

4

l

( H A N R A T T Y )

IT'S THE BULLIES OR THE G OO D GUYS

BOY, THERE IS N O M IDDLE G ROU ND

THO UGH HOO DLUM S TRY TO BLUR THE LINE

AND TWIST THE TRUTH AROUND

THEN THEY CALL THEMSELVES A W INNER

BUT THEY'RE SELF-DECEIVING FOOLS

'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING

IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES

THE LAW IS LAYED U PO N US

WH EN A S KIDS WE FIRST ASK "W HY?"

OUR PARENTS SET THE RULES

W HE N 'CAUSE I SAID S O," THEY REPLY

AND TH OUGH I THOUGHT I HATED THEM

AND SCREAMED WITH ALL MY MIGHT

THE NEXT TIME THAT I HAD A CHOICE

GEE WHIZ I DID WHAT'S RIGHT

NO, I NEVER SNUCK A DRINK

I NEVER STOLE A PACK OF "KOOLS"

'CAUSE THE GAME AIN'T WORTH WINNING

IF YOU'RE BREAKING ALL THE RULES

H A N R A T T Y

OR ELSE WE'RE LIVING

IN THE WILD WILD WEST

GOD'S KEEPING SCORE

YOU DON'T W ANNA

FAIL THAT

TEST

YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE

RIGHT AT THE LIFE

FOR WH ICH I STRIVE

BUT THOSE RULES,

THOSE LAWS

KEEP US A LIVE.

A G E N T S T A R G E T S

DON'T BREAK THE RULES



BUT THOSE RULES

THOSE LAWS

KEEP US ALIVE.



42

C TCH ME IF YOU C N

( H A N R A T T Y )

IT STARTED BACK WITH MOSES

WHEN HE LED AROUND THE JEWS

AN D CLIMBED WAY

UP

THAT MOUNTAIN

TO PICK U P GO D S DAILY

NEWS

HE SCHLEPPED UP OLD MT. SINAI

CRIED AND BEGGED

ON THEIR BEHALF

HE ALMOST DROPPED

THOS E TABLETS

WHEN HE SAW THAT

GOLDEN CALF

NOW WE WE TEACH THE

TEN COMMANDMENTS

EVERY SUNDAY

IN OUR SCHOOLS

CAUSE THE GAME

AIN T WORTH W INNING

IF YOU RE BREAKING

ALL THE RULES

I GUESS

THE CO NSTITUTION, BOYS,

TO SOME IS TOO

COMPLEX

THEY THINK

OUR FOUN DING FATHERS FOUGHT

SO THEY COULD FORGE

SOME CHECKS

THEY SEE THEMSELVES

AS ROBIN HOOD

STEALING FROM THE RICH

( A G E N T S T A R G E T S )

THE JEWS

TELL ME THE

NEWS

OH LORD

WHAT?

EVERY SUNDAY

IN OUR SCHOOLS

AND BABY

I GUESS

WE RE T HINKING

THEY TH INK

AND NOW IT S LOOKIN

THEY SEE THEMSELVES

BUT DO N T YA KNOW THEY RE



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

43

i

l l

( H A N R A T T Y )

NOT PAYING BACK

THE THINGS THEY TAKE

WELL PAYBACK IS A BITCH

CAUSE THE WORLD A IN T

SHERWOOD FOREST

YOU CA N T GIVE AWAY

THOSE JEWELS

CAUSE THE GAME

AIN T WORTH W INNING

IF YOU RE BREAKING

ALL THE RULES

OR ELSE WE RE LIVING

IN

THE WILD WILD WEST

GOD S KEEPING SCORE

YOU DON T W ANNA

FAIL THA T TEST

YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE

RIGHT AT THE LIFE

FOR WHICH I STRIVE

BUT THOSE RULES,

THOSE LAWS

K P US ALIVE.

WHEN THEY STEAL

SOMEBODY S MONEY

SCREW H IS DAU GHTER

OR HIS WIFE

YOU DON T THINK

OF REPERCUSSIONS

AS YOU TAP DAN CE

THROUG H YOUR LIFE


NO T PAYING BACK

POW

YOU CA N T GIVE AWAY

THOSE JEWELS

DO N T BREAK THE RULES



BUT THOSE RULES

THOSE LAWS

KEEP US ALIVE.

US ALIVE

OO-OO .. .

BOP

OO-OO

BOP

OO-OO



TW

-

44

J I i jjj jajixgn jiiiiiJHJHCTIWiWiWWiWWgiWWHBBIBlWI

CyircH M E I F

YOU CAN

fl

1

.

.-

( H A N R A T T Y )

THOUGH YOU SMILE

LIKE YOU RE A HERO

YOU RE AN OUTLAW

THROUGH AND THROUGH

BUT THE ODD S ARE

IN MY FAVOR, MA N

AND ONE DAY

I LL CATCH YOU

SO, GO SNEAK INTO A MOVIE

RUN A RED LIGHT,

SELL SOME PO T

IT S ALL THE SAME TO ME

YOU RE EITHER GUILTY

OR YOU RE NOT

IF WE ALL DID

WHAT WE WANTED

EVERY TIME WE FELT THE URGE

THE WORLD WOULD BE

IN TOTAL CHAOS

IT S ALREADY O N THE VERGE

YES, ITS LAWS THAT

KEEP US HUMA N

CAUSE WITHOUT THEM

WE RE JUST MULES

AND

THE GAME AIN T WORTH WINN ING

YES

THE GAME AIN T WORTH W INNING

N O

THE GAME AIN T WORTH W INNING

IF YOU RE BREAKING

ALL THE RULES

OR ELSE WE RE LIVING

IN THE WILD WILD WEST


YOU RE AN OUTLAW

THROUGH AND THROUGH

AN D ONE DAY

I LL CATCH YOU

SO GO SNEAK

DO O

WOP

DOO W OP

DO O WOP DOO W OP

WOW

THE WORLD WOULD BE

IN TOTAL CHAOS

BOP

CAUSE WITHOUT THEM

WE RE JUST MULES

THE GAME AIN T WORTH WINNING






CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 45

H A N R A T T Y )

GOD'S KEEPING SCORE

YOU DON'T W ANNA

FAIL THAT TEST

YOU THUMB YOUR NOSE

RIGHT AT THE LIFE

FOR W HIC H I STRIVE

WHATTCHA SAY?

SING IT BOYS

KEEP US ALIVE

A G E N T S & T A R G E T S )

DO N'T BREAK THE RULES

DO N'T BREAK THE RULES

BUT THOSE RULES

THOSE LAWS

THOSE RULES

THOSE LAWS

THOSE RULES

THOSE LAWS

KEEP US ALIVE

BOP

H A N R A T T Y

All r ight , back to w ork . Cr i m e doe sn ' t take a hol iday . I ca n ' t bel iev e I jus t said that ^

JV

(The FBI Agents scatter.

SPLIT STAGE. Frank Junior enters with his suitcase. A lovely STEW ARD ESS enters

opposite, with a clipboard.)

S T E W A R D E S S

^ r

h<M -

5 U

Good morn in g , F i r s t Off icer . Are yo u my de ad he ad today ?


V ^ O f c ^ ^tJ G^l/ SL

Yes, m a ' am . Been on the sam e eq u ip m en t a l l we ek , jumpin p u d d le s f o r t h e w e a k

and weary .

S T E W A R D E S S

Firs t c lass is fu ll , bu t I 've got the ju m p seat ope n. C om e on a bo ard .


Thanks



wt*wwrm**v I - wmw i >im

S

iHMUi,Mi nn » IIMH »JUJIIIUI pii'i'iu HI •» JWII.WH miimiimminuiwi


i

I S T E W A R D E S S

'

Be sure to w a tc h ou t fo r tha t

Skywayman.

-


{ S k y w a y m a n ? \^,k

a / J

. J

The Stewardess hands him a newspaper, opened and folded to an article. Frank Jr.

j scans

it.)

B R A N T O N

You ' re dange rous , k id . Who the he l l t augh t you to shoo t?

D O L L A R

i M y D ad dy tau gh t m e to tu r n a m is te r to a mis ses f rom 100 ya rd s .

Cod enters, with a flyer in hand.)

C O D

Ha nrat ty . I 'm go nn a regre t th is , b ut look a t th is f ie ld b ul le t in .

Hanratty grabs and scans it.)

t H A N R A T T Y + F R A N K J U N I O R

I overlapping; not in unison)

I

The Sky wa ym an. Al l the a i r l ines a re a f te r h im . .

.posing

as an a i r l ine pi lot . .

.flying

all

li

o v e r t h e w o r l d . . .

'

S T E W A R D E S S

j

hey

don t

know ho w he does

it.

V

; F R A N K J U N I O R

L

The Sky wa ym an. L ike a supe rhe ro . Cra zy w or l d w e l ive in . I 'l l ha ve to look ou t fo r

S T E W A R D E S S

;|

W o u l d y o u l ik e s o m e t h i n g t o d r i n k

before

we take off?


U m , m i l k ?

6

f f £

L

Frank Junior gives the paper back to the Stewardess and exits. She fallows.)

H A N R A T T Y

All r igh t , boys . We ' re check ing eve ry a i rp or t ho te l , mo te l , ca fe , and com missa ry on

the At lan t i c s eaboa rd . We jus t beca me f ron t pag e ne ws .

MU SIC. Hanratty and the boys exit and We go right to the Latin Quarter.)



i — 48 — CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

I

F R N K S E N I O R

Look a t us, Frank ie . O n to p of the w or ld .

F R N K J U N I O R

Dad . I w en t by the s to re today .

F R N K S E N I O R

I ha d to c lose the s tore for a wh i le . I t s a l l ab ou t t imin g, Fran k. The go d da m n

g o v e r n m e n t k n o w s t h at , t h e y h i t y o u w h e n y o u r e d o w n . I w a sn t g o in g to l et t h e m

tak e i t from m e. So I jus t sh ut the do or s my self. Ca lled their bluff. Soo ner or later,

they ll forget about me.

Frank Junior slides a thick envelope across the table.)

W hat s th i s?

I

f

F R N K J U N I O R V

Let s op en the s tore up , Da d. Pay off the Feds . Get things back the w ay th ey w ere .

I can he lp ou t now. \ ^

F R N K S E N I O R

Keep i t . You got your own worr ies ,

F R N K J U N I O R

I m f ine . There s p l en ty m ore wh ere th i s came f rom, be l i eve m e .

F R N K S E N I O R

Th at s f ine ,

Frankie.

Take good care of yourse l f .

F R N K J U N I O R

But maybe i f Mom

sees —

F R N K S E N I O R

Do I look l ike I ne ed y ou r help ?

A moment.

Frank Sr. to bartender^

Double Bourbon .

Back to Frank Junior.)

Do n t wo r ry abou t yo ur mo m and me . F rankie . She s s tubb orn , a lways has been .

She s a fo rmidable w om an . But I w on t l e t he r go wi th ou t a f ight .

F R N K J U N I O R

I f she saw you had the s tore back—

F R N K S E N I O R

T w o h u n d r e d

GI s

in tha t t iny socia l ha l l , w atc hin g her dance . I di dn t speak a w or d

of French. A nd six we ek s la ter , she wa s my wife .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

49

F R N K J U N I O R

She could be again .

F R N K S E N I O R

I don ' t know, F rank ie .

F R N K J U N I O R

Lis ten, D ad, ever yth ing ' s d i fferent now . I got th is grea t job. I m ak e lots of mone y.

I can have b reakfas t in Rome , lun ch in Miami , an d d inn e r in San F ranc i sco .

(MUSIC)

F R N K S E N I O R

A nd he re I tho ug ht you w ere jus t a cop i lo t. I 'm p ro ud o f you , son .

F R N K J U N I O R

REMEMBER THAT STORY I LEARNED AT YOUR FEET

WELL NO W IT'S MY TURN, TAKE A SEAT

U

i t ^i

C

TWO LITTLE MICE OF GREAT RENOWN

FELL IN SOME MILK AND ONE PROCEEDED TO D ROW N

THE OTHER ON E'S STILL THE TOAST OF THE TOW N

CAUSE HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM

n

[

HE LOOKED AROUND, DEDUCED HIS PLIGHT

SAID "TH IS IS N O WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIG HT "

BUT HE H AD THE STYLE TO MAKE THING S RIGHT

SO HE MADE BUTTER OUTTA CREAM

\ t

HE KICKED HIS LEGS UP

HE TOSSED AN D TURNED

SO NOT TO END U P A GHOST

HE DID THE HOKEY-POKEY

TILL THE CREAM WAS CHU RNED

THEN BABY, HE WALKED RIGHT OUT

AND BUTTERED HIS TOAST

V> °-^

NOW HE'S ON TOP FOR GOODNESS SAKES

YEAH, HE'S THE BIG CHEESE UP AT "LAND O' LAKES"

HE 'S LIVING PR OOF TH AT PO P ALL IT TAKES

IS A SCHEME



F^mmmmrmmM^^mmmmm

— 5 — C TCH ME IF You CAN

i

( F R A N K J U N I O R )

SO IF YOU LAND IN THE GUTTER

JUST MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM


Your turn , Dad.

Nah—you're do ing g rea t .



C o m e on—we're a du o. Fra nk and De an . I ca n ' t do th is act so lo .


I W e ll , y o u k n o w . . .there i s one you haven ' t heard .


Really?

I:

1

i F R A N K S E N I O R

THERE WAS A COCKRO ACH IN BRAZIL

GOT DRUNK AT THE LOCAL COFFEE MILL

II HIS TIME WAS ALMOST UP UNTIL

HE MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS

{;;

E WH EN HE CAME TO HE HEARD SUCH A SOUND

'I

J THEN MUCH TO HIS SHOCK WHE N HE LOOKED AROUND

• HE HA D BEEN SCOOPED AN D WAS ABOUT TO BE GROU ND

I SO, HE MADE COFFEE OUT OF BEANS

HE MARCHED TO THE SOUTH ^

I AND HE STOMPED TO THE NORT H

' HE HAD^TO RACE AGA INST FATE

| HE DID THE CUCARA CHA 'TIL THE TEARS POURED FORTH

THEN SENOR, THING S BEGAN TO PERCOLATE

c h ^ C

j HE HELD HIS BREATH AN D SWAM TO THE TOP

BORROWED SOME BEANS FROM HIS MOM AND POP

THEN HE OPENED UP HIS OWN COFFEE SHOP

I

\ OUT IN QUEENS

WH EN HIS LIGHTS WERE ALMOST OFF

HE JUST MADE COFFEE OUTTA BEANS


Let ' s b r ing i t home



CATCH ME IF You CAN

51

Alright

F R N K S E N I O R

B O T H

SO THINK OF THOSE TWO W HE N LIFE'S THE PITS

F R N K S E N I O R

"THE BUG"

F R N K J U N I O R

AND "THE MOUSE"

B O T H

AT THE END OF THEIR WITS

THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE

IS THAT ITS

WHA' CHA

DREAM

^

^

SO IF LEMONS CLOG YOUR SINK UP

DO N'T JUST STAND AROUN D AN D SCREAM

SPIKE SOME LEMONADE AND DRINK UP

AN D MAKE BUTTER OUT OF CREAM

F R N K S E N I O R

JUST MAKE BUTTER O UT O F CREAM

F R N K J U N I O R

MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM

F R N K S E N I O R

I HEAR WHAT YOU 'RE SAYIN' SON,

I'LL MAKE BUTTER O UT O F CREAM

F R N K J U N I O R

SHA-DOO-BAH DWEE-LEEYAH DO-BAH

DWEE-LE-YAH DOO-BOP

F R N K S E N I O R

You always got ta get the las t word in

F R N K J U N I O R

Like Fathe r l ike Son Co m e on

^

\

*-

\y,\^lO

v

< *




yV.

s

S c e n e 1

I d l e w i l d A i r p o r t M o t e l R o o m 1 3 5

Hanra tty, Cod, and Dollar inspect a much-u sed motel room: comic books, junk-food

containers, crum pled papers. Branton appears at the door.)

^ V >

X

B R A N T O N

Han ara t ty The m ana ge r says he jus t checked ou t th ree ho urs ago . Was he re for

a lmost a week . N o fo rward ing .

^ C O D

Looks l ike he left in a hurry. / at o \ ^

"* ~——__ . - - ' *

H A N R A T T Y

, Al l r ight , gen t lem en. Im pre ss me . A m an 's secre ts are in his t rash.

I

I They begin to pore over the room, opening drawe rs, lifting cushions, inspecting

furniture.)

Mister Taylor , rea l name unknown, lef t us a goldmine.

D O L L A R

holds up a comic book)

The Flash. He l ikes comic books.

C O D

holds up a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter)

He l ives on junk food.

B R A N T O N

holds up a Playboy)

H e has a b reas t fetish.

C O D

O h m y god I t ' s Hanratty

H A N R A T T Y

Very funny. I ' l l m ak e a no te to la ug h later.

(sighs and picks up the wastebasket)

Bran ton, Cod, go can vas the other gu ests . Dol lar , ge t l icense pla te num be rs on eve ry

car in th e lot . I ' l l pro ces s th e roo m .

C O D

(as the men leave)

Right.



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 53

The other agents go. MUSIC.)

Som eth ing do esn ' t jive he re .

H N R T T Y

The Flash? . Pe an ut bu t ter ? M ay be he ' s got a kid?

Han ratty goes to work, picking through the garbag e.)

All r igh t , Mis te r Tay lor . I kn ow y ou ' re in he re som ewh ere .

SOME COMIC BOOKS

A MISS JULY

A MATCHBOOK FROM THE FLAME

SOME CHEWING GUM

A MISMATCHED PAIR OF SHOES

A LETTER H OM E

THAT WASN'T M AILED

A CHECK WITHOU T A NAME

YEAH, THEY'LL BE MY GUIDE

TO THE MA N INSIDE THE CLUES

A BOBBY PIN

TWO BASEBALL CARDS

SOME DAY-OLD CHINESE FOOD

SOME TICKET STUBS

THE RED SOX ALWAYS LOSE

Anyth ing?

A VALENTINE

THAT WASN'T SENT

A SCENT TO SET THE M OO D

WHEN I TAKE A RIDE

WITH THE MA N INSIDE

THE CLUES

B R N T O N

H N R T T Y

hands him a crumpled sheet of paper)

Pan A m s ta t ionery.




H A N R A T T Y )

(reads)

As a Pa n A m pi lot , m y family f lies for free . The tw o of yo u sh ou ld com e out to Los

A n g e l e s w i t h me^T^aybe t h e n —

/ /

(looks up)

Unf in i shed .

B R A N T O N

The two of w ho ?

H A N R A T T Y

W ho know s? But w e kn ow he ' s go ing to Los Ange les . A nd so a re we .

D O L L A R

Fantast ic . \

C O D

(as he and Branton turn to go)

N ow tha t ' s t he bes t i dea he ' s had ye t .

B R A N T O N

He could use the sun . If he were any mo re pa le , he 'd be t r ansp a ren t .

(The men exit. Hanratty moves to follow, but stops, and returns to the room.)

H A N R A T T Y

I'VE LOOKED INTO SO MANY LIVES

BUT NEVER AT MY OW N

THE TRAIL I'VE LEFT IS SUCH A DAM N CLICHE

THE LONELY WIFE, THE HOUSE FOR SALE

A MILLION N IGHTS ALONE

TO WISH YOU HAD THE THINGS YOU THREW AWAY

LIKE A FRONT DOOR KEY

A HOME COOKED MEAL

THE HAPPY BRIDE AND GROOM

THEN LIFE KICKS IN AND MAKES YOU PAY YOUR DUES

AND THEN YOU FIND

YOU'RE BY YOURSELF

IN A SINGLE HOTEL ROO M

THAT'S BEEN OCCUPIED...



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 55 -

H A N R A T T Y )

BY THE M AN INSIDE

THE CLUES

THE CLUES

Transition to...)



—

56 — CATCH ME IF YOUCAN

Mr

S c e n e

A M o t e l P a t i o a n d R o o m ) i n L o s A n g e l e s

Hanratty and men enter with the MO TEL MAN AGER .)

£ Y * V0 W ^ t W ;

M O T E L M A N A G E R

H e wr ote three checks . The y al l c leared . I w as gon na depo si t th is one today. I do n ' t

wan t any t roub le .

H N R T T Y

The re w on ' t be an y trouble . I ' ll jus t take th is check and be on my w ay.

M O T E L M N G E R

G o o d . I d o n ' t w a n t m y c u s to m e r s h a r a s s e d .

H N R T T Y

You mean he 's s t i l l here?

M O T E L M N G E R

hesitates)

Two-oh-one.

J S

f i

w - '

9

V ^ ' ' H N R T T Y

I tak e the lead . You guys wa tc h the f ront, Do llar takes the o ther ex i t .

Hanratty draws his gun. Dollar eagerly follows suit.)

Put i t away.

Dollar complies, glumly.)

I f you ' re good l i t t le boys , I ' l l buy you al l a Good Humor bar .

M O T E L M N G E R

You sa id there w ou ld n ' t be any t roub le .

+ H N R T T Y

Relax , mis ter , you ' l l get one, too .

Hanratty proceeds, cautiously, gun drawn, to room 201. The rest exit, in other

directions.

Hanratty bursts in through the door...)

F.B.I.

...but

the room is empty. Hanratty slowly m oves in, looking over a bureau and table

filled with the impleme nts of forgery.

J

From the bathroom, a FLU SH. Hanratty points his gun.)



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 57 -

( H A N R A T T Y )

F.B .I. Com e ou t w i th you r ha nd s on yo ur h ead .

(Frank Junior calmly emerges from the bathroom. Nods at Hanratty. He s in a

different, black suit.)


Guy's got a MICR encoder , can you bel ieve that?

H A N R A T T Y

Do n ' t mov e . Pu t yo ur han ds on yo ur head o r I' ll shoo t .

(Frank Junior ignores the gun pointed at him and walks to the desk.)

F R A N K

J U N O R \

H e ' s g o t a b o u t tw o h u n d r e d c h e c k s here—a gal lon of India ink , draf t ing glue—he

even makes l i t t l e pay ro l l enve lopes addressed to h imse l f f rom Pan Am.

V

H A N R A T T Y

K e e p y o u r h a n d s w h e r e I c a n s^eejhem. --' '


Relax , bu dd y, yo u ' r e la te . The nam e' s Allen , Barry Allen , Un ited State s Secret

Service. Your m a n jus t t r ied to c l im b out the window—my par tner has h im in

cus tody downs ta i r s .

H A N R A T T Y

W h a t a r e y o u t a lk in g a b o u t? K e e p y o u r h a n d s u p

s


You th ink the F.B.I, a re the on ly ones t r ack ing th i s guy? H e ' s been dab b l ing in

governrrlent checks . W e 've bee n fo l lowing a pa pe r t r a i l for mon th s . We a lm os t h ad

h im in N ew York , then in, a mo te l ou ts ide D .C . nea r Du l les a i rpo r t . W ould you m ind

tak ing triat g u n o u t of^my f ace? I t ma kes me n ervou s .

H A N R A T T Y

Let me see some identif icat ion .


Here , t ake my who le wal le t .

(fosses him wallet)

You w an t my gun , too?

H A N R A T T Y

I d idn ' t expect Secret Service on th is .


D o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t it . W h a f s y o u r n a m e , a n y w a y ?



— 5 8 — CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

,VJ =

H N R T T Y

Han ra t ty . Car l Han ra t ty .

F R N K J U N I O R

You m in d if I see an ID, Carl? C an 't be too careful thes e d ay s.

H N R T T Y

Sure.

Hanratty shows him his badge)

F R N K J U N I O R

Tough luck , Car l . F ive mi nu t es ea rl i er and yo u wo ul d hav e l anded yourse l f a p re t ty

good collar.

H N R T T Y

Tha t ' s okay , t en seconds l a t e r you w ou ld h ave be en sho t .

They laugh, then stop laughing

Hey, l i s ten. Tel l m e someth ing: W ha t does he look like?

F R N K J U N I O R

H e 's a hand so m e son of a b i tch .

H N R T T Y

I had him f igured for an older guy.

F R N K J U N I O R

H e is pre t ty da m n old. H e m us t be yo ur age a t least .

H N R T T Y

I asked for tha t one

F R N K J U N I O R

Just do me a

favorT

Sit tight a

nulratenwhile

I ge t some of this evidence downsta i rs .

I d o n ' t want

1

p e o p l e w a l k i n g througrrmy cr ime scene .

\

*

J E i A N R A T T Y

Sure.

Frank Junior picks up the MICR machine and heads for the door.)

F R N K J U N I O R

You know , som e ma id com es in he re and s t a r t s m ak ing the bed . I ha t e wh en tha t

h a p p e n s .

H N R T T Y

Wait.



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 59 -

i f

F R N K J U N I O R

freezes, turns)

What?

H N R T T Y

Your wallet.

F R N K J U N I O R

H a ng o n to it t i l l I co me ba ck for the res t of the stuff . I tru st yo u.

**<«•

<

S f c

H A N R A T T Y

You shou ldn ' t . Tha t w as a joket *

r--

F R N K J U N I O R

You got me, Carl.

Frank Junior smiles at him and goes.) 3 {2L

H N R T T Y

Nice guy.

unable to contain himself)

We got him I lov e my job. I lov e it , I lov e it , I lov e it .

He stops. Thinks a minute. Opens the wallet. Fingers through the ID cards within.)

Frank Taylor . Fra nk Black . F rank Will iams. Fra nk Fuck

The other three agents rush in)

C O D

Where is he?

H N R T T Y

I ha d h im. H e wa s r igh t there

B R N T O N

Wh at a re you ta lk ing abou t?

H N R T T Y

I le t h i m convin ce me he w as som eo ne else . Barry Allen f rom th e Secret Service.

D O L L R

Barry Allen? The Flash?

H N R T T Y

What?

D O L L R

Barry Allen is the alter ego of the Flash.

S



P

• flff/_

60

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

H A N R A T T Y

O h Je sus Chr i s t .

D O L L A R

We a l l m ak e mistakes s i r i t ha pp en s to the best of us .

H A N R A T T Y

No t to me . N ot to me .

MUSIC.)



52

Scene 13: A Hotel Room and the FBI Building, both Washington, DC

SONG: CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR (PARTY VERSION)

(The Stewardesses and Pilots party as Frank Junior

looks on.)

PARTYGOERS

ANGELS SING, THE SOUND’S SUBLIME

LISTEN TO THOSE CHURCH BELLS CHIME

CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

(A few of the Stewardesses approach Frank Junior.)

LINDY

What’s the matter, honey?

CINDY

You look pooped!

MINDY

You need a good long layover.

FRANK JUNIOR I'm just going to get some air.

(Frank Junior struggles to extricate himself and get

offstage to get his letter jacket on.)

(The Stewardesses and Pilots dance off as we

TRANISTION TO Hanratty's office. He's poring

over documents with a loupe. Branton enters.)

BRANTON

Hanratty, come on. It's Christmas Eve. You're not going to redeem yourself with the boys upstairs by having amiserable holiday.

HANRATTY

You're wrong.

(checks his watch without looking up)

It's not Christmas Eve. It's Christmas.

BRANTON

You want me to stay?

HANRATTY

No. You've got kids. Go home.

BRANTON

Merry Christmas, Hanratty

(He goes. Hanratty's phone RINGS. He picks up.)

HANRATTY

This is Hanratty. Merry Christmas.

(Lights on Frank Junior at a pay phone.)



53

FRANK JUNIOR

Hello, Carl.

HANRATTY

Who is this?

FRANK JUNIOR

I’ve been trying to track you down. Merry Christmas.

HANRATTY

Barry Allen, Secret Service! What do you want?

FRANK JUNIOR

I want to apologize for what happened out in Los Angeles.

HANRATTY

Yeah? Screw you.

FRANK JUNIOR

Carl, I’m sorry if I made a fool out of you.

HANRATTYGoddamn it, you don't feel sorry for me. The fact is, I knew it was you. I did. Maybe I didn’t pull the trigger but I

knew.

FRANK JUNIOR

People only know what you tell them.

HANRATTY

Then tell me something: how did you know I wouldn’t look in your wallet?

FRANK JUNIOR

I didn’t.

HANRATTYYou’re gonna get caught, you know that, don’t you? One way or another. Just like Vegas—the house always wins.

FRANK JUNIOR

I didn’t think I’d get you in. It’s Christmas. I thought maybe you had a family?

HANRATTY

No. No family.

FRANK JUNIOR

Me either.

SONG: MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

HANRATTY

YEAH, DON’TCHA LOVE THE YULETIDE FUN

THERE’S JOY AND CHEER FOR EVERYONE

I WAIT FOR SANTA WITH A GUN

YES, CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

FRANK JUNIOR

SOME SUGAR PLUMS I HAVEN’T KISSED

BUT MISTLETOE I MUST RESIST

CAUSE I’M ON ST. CARL’S MOST WANTED LIST



54

BOTH

YES, CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

(Lights on Frank Senior and Paula, separately.)

HANRATTY, FRANK JR, FRANK SR, PAULA

AND THERE’S A HOME

WHERE YOU CAN’T GO

AND THERE’S A LIFE THAT’S FULL OF LOVEYOU USED TO KNOW

HANRATTY

FOR ME IT’S TRUE

FRANK SENIOR

BUT KID, NOT YOU

PAULA

CAUSE YOUR FAMILY’S HERE

FRANK SENIOR & PAULA

YEAH, THEY’RE STILL YOURS TO HOLDIF YOU …

FRANK SENIOR & PAULA & HANRATTY

COME IN FROM THE COLD

(Lights fade on Frank Senior and Paula.)

HANRATTY

SO, IF TOMORROW SANTA’S FLOWN

THE TREE IS DOWN AND YOU’RE ALONE

I'M ALWAYS HERE, RIGHT BY THE PHONE

FRANK JUNIOR & HANRATTYYES CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

HANRATTY

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You didn’t call me to apologize, did you?

FRANK JUNIOR

What do you mean?

HANRATTY

You’ve got no one else to talk to.

FRANK JUNIOR

(half beat)I have to go.

HANRATTY

Frank! Wait!

(Frank Junior almost hangs up the phone. But stops.

While Hanratty waits on the other end of the phone,

Frank Junior covers the mouthpiece and turns to us.)



55

FRANK JUNIOR

Mister Hanratty was right. It was a lonely life. But I was about to meet someone, and she was gonna change

everything. Everything.

(Lights on Brenda. She stops and looks in our

direction, dreaming.)

But right now ... Tonight ...

HANRATTY

Frank?(Brenda fades. Frank Junior turns back to the phone.)

FRANK JUNIOR

I'm still here.

HANRATTY

Sooner or later you'll get tired of running.

FRANK JUNIOR

Sooner or later you'll get tired of chasing me.

HANRATTY

No I won't.

FRANK JUNIOR Look out the window.

HANRATTY

Why?

FRANK JUNIOR

Just do it.

(He sings.)

I’LL CALL YOU SOON, BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN

HANRATTYAND, FRANK, I HOPE WE’LL MEET AGAIN

LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SERVING EIGHT TO TEN

BOTHYES, CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

(Hanratty sees Frank Junior in the pay phone booth.

Frank Junior jumps off the stage and disappears up

the aisle of the theatre.)

HANRATTY

(to himself)

He’s a kid.(to us)

He’s a kid.

SONG ENDS.

END OF ACT ONE



s» r

1^

- 66 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

A C T T W O

S c e n e 1

T h e F B I B u i l d i n g W a s h i n g t o n D C

•f-M

(As the Entr acte ends, we see Hanratty and his three men, hu ddled in a hallway.)

JW

H A N R A T T Y

Look, i t ' s s imp le. We kn ow h e 's a k id . We ne ed to f ind out wh o ' s responsib le for

the k id . So w e check ou t every run aw ay tee n and miss in g s tuden t in the t r i - s ta te

area over the past three years .

(A Lovely Lady brings in a stack of computer printouts.)

I pul led a l is t f rom th e ma infram e.

(The Lovely Lady hands him the top page of an accordion-feed computer printout.)

We just go to each addre ss , ask to see a family pho to .

(He pulls the paper, which just keeps coming.)

D O L L A R V o i c e O v e r )

How long wil l that take?

As long as i t takes . Let ' s go , men .

H A N R A T T Y

(Hanratty exits, the long list trailing behind him. The men follow. The last agent stays

behind, whipping

off

his fedora and R ayBans to reveal...

...Frank Junior. He w aves.)


Good luck wi th tha t

A part men I

(turns to us as the Lovely Lady takes his hat and RayBa ns)

My career as a p i lo t was p re t ty much done , and I ' d wrung ou t every bank in the

No r the ast , so it w as t im e to lay low for a whi le , l ive off m y savings . I m ov ed to t he

Riverbend A par t me n ts in At lan ta , Georg ia , a rea l nice complex ,

full

of professionals,

the per fect p lace to keep th ings quiet .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

67

ATLANTA DOCT OR enters at a stumbling run, drink in hand.)

A L L P A R T Y D O C T O R S N U R S E S


w s jus t there to ke ep a low profi le . N o m ore cons no mor e h i gh l iv ing no m ore

lies.

The ATLANT A DOCT OR approaches Frank Junior as we CONTINU E TO:)

It:

i l l

S i



68 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

f

S c e n e

T h e R i v e r b e n d A p a r t m e n t s

a n d A t l a n t a G e n e r a l H o s p i t a l A t l a n t a

The ATLANT A DOCT OR throws an arm around him.)

fc '• ' u

A T L A N T A D O C T O R

Frank , wh at b r ings yo u to the R iverbend com plex? I tho ug h t i t w as ju s t u s

doc to r s and nu r ses here .


works the problem)

Oh. Well . You know. I'm a doctor. \~GAJL { * O^-As

0

—^


W hat do you do , su rgery? Or tho ped ics?


Pediatr ics?


Sno t-nosed l i t t le k ids? You can hav e 'em . Lis ten , I ' ll f ind ou t if

there's

a n y th in g

ope n dow n a t At lan ta Genera l . Be g rea t to hav e you there

He goes.)


Oh, no , than k you , I — I m ea n — W ha t was I th ink ing? V Cb\ f ̂ \_j ' j (^

MU SIC. Several very sexy NURSE S appear. Frank Junior looks at them...)

Oh y e a h .

c

e ^ U

r

cj ,

M

^ . r y

J ^ \

j 0

(...then back to us.)

Lad ies and gentlemen—nurses.

The NURSE S seduce Frank Junior into the medical profession - dressing him as a

doctor in the process.)

N U R S E

HEY DOCTOR, ARE YOU O N CALL?

I'M N OT FEELING SO WELL AT ALL

I KEPT THINK ING ABOUT YA

AS I COULD NO T SLEEP A WINK LAST N IGHT

J



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 69 -

N U R S E 1 )

I TOSSED AND TURNED THE WHOLE N IGHT LONG

KEPT FEELING LIKE SOMETHING 'S W RONG

I NEED A CHEC KUP

TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT

A L L N U R S E S

SO I...

N U R S E 1

MADE THIS APPOINTMENT

AN D I CLEARED YOUR AFTERNOO N

A L L N U R S E S

YES,

I...

N U R S E 1

NEED ME A LITTLE

T.L.C.

AN D I GOTTA GET SOME SOON...

A L L N U R S E S

LET ME TELL

YA

THAT

N U R S E 1

MAYBE I NEVER LISTENED G OO D

I NEVER DID THE THINGS I SHO ULD

BUT I'M READY

TO TAKE DOC TOR'S ORDERS

BABY, I NEVER FELT SO BAD

I NEED SOMETHING I NEVER H AD

AND I'M READY...

TO TAKE DOCT OR'S ORDERS

A L L N U R S E S

OOHOOH...

(The Nurses turn upstage)

F R A N K J U N I O R \ti< \^ C^A^rOr. Si- t ' S ^

Ho w wa s I go ing to pu l l th i s one off? Th en I tho ug ht o f i t , Ben Casey a lway s m ad e

it look easy on television.

(BEN CASEY

and a

BEN CASEY INTERN appear.

'

Frank Junior watches as Ben Casey makes a diagnosis

ala

a TV epsisode)



CATCH ME IF You CAN

73

N U R S E S

OOH-OOH-OOH

OOH-OOH-OOH

AH-AH

N U R S E 4

I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY

ABOUT AN APPLE A DAY

TO BE THE STRONGEST GAL IN TOW N

BUT IF AN APPLE A DAY

KEEPS THE DOCTO R AWAY

I'M G ON NA BURN THAT

ORCHARD DOWN

N U R S E 3

BABY DO N'T STOP UNTIL I'M HEALED

I'VE G OT BLUE CROSS

I'VE GOT BLUE SHIELD

AND I'M READY

TO TAKE DOCTO R'S ORDERS

N U R S E 2

BABY, YO U'D BETTER OPER ATE

N U R S E 1

THEN TO MIAMI TO RECOUPERATE

N U R S E 2

YES I'M READY

TO TAKE DOCT OR'S ORDERS ^p Y

A L L N U R S E S

j ^ w ^

TALKING 'BOUT WHAM-BAM

HOT DAMN

N U R S E 4

OXYGEN PLEASE,

CAN 'T CATCH MY BREATH

DOCTOR YOU GOT THE KISS OF DEATH

AND I 'M

N U R S E S D O C T O R S

KNO W WHA T THEY SAY

OOH...

O OH OOH

GONNA BURN THAT

ORCHARD DOWN

OOH OOH

READY

DOCTOR'S ORDERS

OOH...

READY

~

A,our,^

A L L M E N

WHAM BAM

HOT DAMN

N U R S E S

OOH OOH



r

- 74 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

N U R S E S 1 4

READY

READY

COME ON, LET'S ROCK

STEADY

E N S E M B L E

READY

READY

COME O N, LET'S ROCK

STEADY

A L L

'CAUSE I'M READY...

FOR DOC TOR'S ORDERS j, C_XNJV

N U R S E 4

WOO

The doctors and nurses g o to party. Frank Junior grabs some shut-eye ona_gurney.

Brenda enters.) v, ( /

B R E N D A

Doctor Con ners? Doc tor Con ners?


wakes with a start)

Oh, I wa s . .

.uh. . .I'm

not ge t t ing a lot of s leep a t the apar tment these days.

^ < p B R E N D A

Doctor Conners , do you know which pa t i en t ge t s the O-Negative?

She holds up a blood bag, dark red in translucen t plastic. Frank Junior takes one look

an d turnsjmd clutches his stomach, groaning .)

Doctor?

A nurse strides through.)

N U R S E

O-negative O-negative Where ' s tha t O-nega t ive?

Brenda holds it up and the nurse grabs it. Ma ybe Frank Junior looks up just in time to

see it change hands, which sets him o ff again. Either way, after the Nurse is gone:)

B R E N D A

Are yo u ok ay?



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 75 -

F R N K J U N I O R

Sorry...just s o m e b a d tuna.. .at the cafeteria.

B R E N D

Is there any th in g I can do?

F R N K J U N I O R

You could have coffee with me.

B R E N D

But thei r coffee' s wor se tha n thei r tuna. Oh | A j j a A^OVC cv\ ^ i

0

^

0

^ U

C

<M_^

F R N K J U N I O R

*

I 've t r ied to make conversat ion wi th you four t imes a day for e leven days and

you 've barely even said hel lo .

B R E N D

I 'm so sorry , Doctor Co nner s . Hel lo .

F R N K J U N I O R

Hello.

half beat)

Goodbye .

She moves to go.)

Nurse S t rong

B R E N D

F R N K J U N I O R

B R E N D

I 'm sorry, sir . They don' t l ike us to fraternize with the doctors.

F R N K J U N I O R

Pretend I 'm not a doctor . Pre tend I 'm a Pa n A m pi lo t .

B R E N D

Oh, I do n ' t th ink I could see you as a p i lo t . A p laybo y ma ybe .

F R N K J U N I O R

I 'm not really in to a l l tha t Riverb end m ad nes s . I t ' s jus t , I do n ' t know , a pa r t I p lay .

B R E N D

So you ' re no t really a sk i r t -chasing pa r ty an im al , you jus t w an t peop le to th ink yo u are?

F R N K J U N I O R

Well, ye ah. I m ea n, no. I mean—wait.

\



-

76

-

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

B R E N D

Good day , Doc to r Conners .

F R N K J U N I O R

You' re very ser ious .

B R E N D

I 'm just t rying to do a good job, sir .

F R N K J U N I O R

Well , I am too , I 'm the youngest doctor here .

B R E N D

j I ,

t

Are n ' t you awfu l ly yo un g to be a doc to r?

F R N K J U N I O R

I get that a lot.

B R E N D

j I ' m the youn ges t nu r se here . . .

| F R N K J U N I O R

j ( A nd the bes t nu r s e w e have .

i|

B R E N D

j Oh , no one eve r l i s tens to me . Th ey ' re a l l so conf iden t an d sure of them selve s

and...tall.

F R N K J U N I O R

If you w an t t hem to l i st en , yo u ju s t have to sound l ike you k no w w ha t you ' r e t a lk ing

abou t . .Act like yo u hav e conf idence, a nd pr et ty soo n yo u wi l l . Act like yo u ' re no t

a f ra id , and you won ' t be . Okay?

^ £ ^ ^ < * B R E N D

smiles)

Okay.

*

F R N K J U N I O R

Hey—there s

a smile.

Two Interns enter at a run, with a gurney.)

I N T E R N

# 2

Doc tor Conner s , w e 'v e got a k i tchen accident . M eat sl icer . A nd the y can ' t exact ly

f ind the hand . . .

Frank Junior takes one look and starts to lose it. Brenda steps up.)

l o

C t

B R E N D

Tra um a O ne. I ' l l cal l surgery . Go

•[



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

77 -

n

The Interns hurry off.)

See? Look at you .

F R N K J U N I O R

B R E N D

Thank you . Docto r Con ner s .

F R N K J U N I O R

Call me Frank.

B R E N D

Okay. Frank.

a moment, then she remembe rs:)

Oh Surgery

She hurries off. Frank Junior watches her go.

\^>QQ

MU SIC. He sings.)

F R N K J U N I O R


NOW THE PICTURE SEEMS SO CLEAR

SHE'S ALIVE IN LIVING COLOR

SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I DISAPPEAR...

VX

tSA<

fo/

j^rS

» f f

FRA NK JR exits. Hanratty appears opposite, watching him.) ^ o

yt>f\S*-^ , 1

IT A TVTTJ A T T V ^ ^ V

H A N R A T T Y

Sooner or la ter , they always make a mistake.lSooner o r la te r . M ean wh i le , wh i le he

was busy wi th Brenda , we were c rack ing th i s th ing p re t ty qu ick ly .

Be A

Si

So m ay be th is is m y pa r t of the s ho w . . . Sor t of a

film

noir k ind of th ing .

I t w as hot , eve n for A ug us t . So ho t m y ass wa s s t ick ing to the seat of the car l ike a

f ly on paper and my su i t was my own per sona l sauna .

Paula enters, a few years older, with three handsome dancing boys. Hanratty will

become the fourth.)

But no t as ho t as the wo m an I w as ab ou t to in te rv iew. She gave ne w m ea n in g to the

word

femme

fatale. Too ba d she w as som e poo r k id ' s mo the r .



v si, - 78 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e 3

T h e B a r n e s H o u s e a n d A B a r N e w R o c h e l l e

P U L

I ha ve n ' t s een F rank ie , s ince he ra n away .

I ALWAYS KNEW I'D SEE THIS DAY

I CA N'T SAY IT'S A SHOC K

WH AT'S THAT EXPRESSION? QU EST-CE QUE C'EST?

HE'S A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

BUT IF YOU SEE HIM

PLEASE PASS ON THIS PLEA

DO N'T BE A STRANGER

TELL HIM THAT FOR ME

H N R T T Y

I f I could jus t look a t a photo. . .

P U L

I don ' t have a recen t one . Here. . .his jun io r c la ss yea rbo ok . . . ~

One of the Handsome Dancing Men hands her the yearbook. She opens the book up,

and Hanratty grabs it.)

H N R T T Y

Th a t ' s h im . He ave ns to Be tsey , tha t ' s h im .

(reads

from yearbook)

Class Treasurer?

P U L

I s m y F rank ie in som e sor t of t rou b le?

H N R T T Y

M a'am , yo ur son ' s in a g rea t dea l of t roub le . H e ' s pas s in g ba d checks , fo rg ing

g o v e r n m e n t d o c u m e n t s —

Paula takes the yearbook back from him and gives it back to one of the Handsom e Men.)

P U L

Hal f o f the k ids h i s age a re on do pe bu t you chase a ft e r F rank ie because he ma de a

l i t t le mis take?

Tantpis.

Tell m e h o w mu ch , I ' l l w ri t e y ou a check—

H N R T T Y

So far i t ' s one- poin t-fou r m il l ion do l lars .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 79

P U L

Ce n est pas p ossible.

H N R T T Y

Oh , if s possib le. Unlikely, bu t possible.

P U L

He must be good at th is .

H N R T T Y

If yo u wer e t ry in g to ra ise a crook , yo u sho uld be very pr ou d.

P U L

MY FRANKIE HAD A CLEVER MIND

HE COULD SPEND H OURS ALL ALONE

I W OU LD N T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED TO FIND

HE CHANG ED HIS DIAPER ON HIS OWN

COULD I HAVE BEEN THERE MOR E?

WELL,

C EST

LA VIE

DO N T BE A STRANGER

TELL HIM THAT FOR ME

H N R T T Y

You ha ven t hea rd f rom h im s ince yo u le ft you r hu sba nd ?

P U L

I m to b l ame. I s t ha t wh a t you re say ing?

H N R T T Y

I don t do b l ame, ma am . I j u s t ca t ch the bad guys .

P U L

Frank ie w as the resu l t of a n ig ht of pa ss io n in a four th ra te ho te l in N orm an dy . Tw o

adu l t s w ho shou ld have kn ow n be t t e r. N obo dy wins . Leas t of a l l F rank ie .

THO UG H I TRIED, I COU LDN T HIDE

WH EN LOVE HAD FLOWN AWAY

CHILDRE N CLOSE THEIR EYES

BUT STILL

THEY

SEE

I TOOK A CHAN CE,

A

NEW ROMANCE

IS IT A CRIME TO SAY

I MADE A CHOICE

AND CHOSE W HAT S BEST FOR ME

Ml.:

H N R T T Y

H ow mig h t I l oca t e you r son ?



I 1:

•i

- 8 0 - - C ATC H M E IF YO U C AN

P U L

Ask his fa ther . H e says Fran kie wr i tes to him .

H N R T T Y

A n d wh er e can I f ind his fa ther?

P U L

Check the ba rs in town .

H N R T T Y

Okay then .

Split scene: The Barnes living room splits the stage with a dive bar and Frank Senior

on a barstool.

Paula continues to dance with the THREE ATTRAC TIVE MEN in the background.)

F R N K S E N I O R

I USED TO BE A PRINCE TO HER

THIS PRINCE HAS LOST HIS CROWN

I BROUGHT HER LAUGHS, SHE WANTED FUR

NO W ONDER LOVE FELL DOW N

ARREST THAT CLOWN WH O SAID

THE BEST THIN GS I N LIFE ARE FREE

THE N, D ON T BE A STRANGER

TELL HER THAT FOR ME

Both parents are isolated in spots)

ONE MORE RO UND AT THE LOST AND FOUND,

THAT S IF YOU VE GOT THE DO UGH

HAPPY HOU R IS SUDDENLY LAST CALL

P U L

MY EYES ARE DRY, I SAID GOODBYE

SO MANY TEARS AGO

B O T H

THE PAST IS JUST A PHO TO ON THE WALL


j IGUESSTOYOUISEEMASCHMUCK

j WELL, I LL JUST BIDE MY TIME

i

i P U L

i

IN LOVE, ALL S FAIR

1



CATCH ME IF YOUCAN

- 81 -

F R N K S E N I O R

'CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT LADY LUCK

CAN STILL TURN ON A DIME

P U L

COMME A LA GUERRE

F R N K S E N I O R

AND MAYBE ONE

WILL ONCE AGA IN BE THREE

P U L

C EST C QUE J AI TOUJOURS DIT

F R N K S E N I O R


TELL THEM THA T FOR ME

P U L


TELL HIM THA T FOR ME

B O T H

4 T

C^^U^-CV


TELL THEM THAT FOR ME.

H N R T T Y

Do yo u have any idea w her e you r ch i ld i s?

F R N K S E N I O R

H e's a lw ays in the a i r. H e ' s a p i lo t w i th Pan Am W ha t a li fe

(He lifts an envelope from the bar, toys with it.)

H N R T T Y

He ' s no t a p i lo t anym ore , Mis t e r Aba gna le . Ne ver was . H e ' s a coun te r fe it e r an d con

man .

F R N K S E N I O R

I kne w tha t . I j u s t wan ted to see w ha t you knew.

(looks Hanr atty over)

You expect a father to give up his son.

H N R T T Y

Yes. I w ou ld expec t a fa ther to do that . Peo ple get sho t in m y l ine of wo rk . Real

guns. Rea l bullets. I 'd l ike to br ing h im in al ive.

i

1

J H

11 ii

i i|



S:

- 82 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

F R N K S E N I O R

Okay . He re s the t ru th .

waves the envelope)

Go t a le t ter f rom hi m just today. H e jo ine d up . H e s over in Viet N am , serv ing h is

country .

H N R T T Y

Can I see that le t ter?

F R N K S E N I O R

shakes his head, puts letter away)

•

N o r e tu rn addre ss . H e s in un i fo rm , r i sk ing h is l ife for yo u and me . No t a bad w ay

•j to leave h is t roub les be hin d , I d say . H e got ou t of th e ga m e at jus t the r igh t t ime .

H N R T T Y

| The gam e?

[ F R N K S E N I O R

il

You kno w, the game . D on t le t the bast ard s get the best of you . Look ou t for

j j you r se l f, w he n the ban ks an d the gov ern me n t an d the b ig boys t ry to rob you b l ind .

\ H N R T T Y

ls

t h a t w h a t y o u t a u g h t y o u r k id ?

,

F R N K S E N I O R

,, i A m a n sho uld go af ter w ha t he w an ts in l ife .

II*

P

H N R T T Y

ri

i: i A m an sho u ld f ace u p to w ha t he s done .

Frank Senior throws back his drink and sings. A standoff, and then they turn back to

their drinks. The BART ENDE R turns to pour them another.)

Mis te r Abagna le .

F R N K S E N I O R

Please—Frank.

H N R T T Y

Frank . Your k id needs you now.

F R N K S E N I O R

W ha t can I do for h i m tha t he ca n t do bet ter for h im self?

H N R T T Y

You ca n te l l h i m to com e in . You can te l l h i m i t s t im e to s top . You m ay be the only

one who can .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 83 -

F R N K S E N I O R

Then I th in k we ' re a l l in t rouble , Car l . Hel l , the k id us ed to see m e as Frank Sinat ra ,

Jesus Ch rist , and JFK all rol led into one . I co ul dn ' t l ive u p to tha t . I did th e be st I

could. I told him I lov ed

him—every

day.

H N R T T Y

M a y b e y o u should ve to ld h im not to commit grand larceny .

F R N K S E N I O R

Way of the wo r ld , Car l . O ur fa thers screw us up , w e turn aro un d and do the sam e

to ou r kids. I t ' s the etern al cycle.

H N R T T Y

Unti l someone breaks i t .

F R N K S E N I O R

LITTLE BOY, BE A MAN

YEAH, THAT WAS POP'S ONLY PLAN

Frank Senior slams his glass on the bar; Hanratty switches glasses, giving Frank

Senior th full drink.)

HE NEVER KISSED ME

•OR SANG BABY MIN E

SURE, I 'D HAVE LOVED A HUG

BUT HEY, I CAME OUT JUST FINE

AN D IF I EVER WO ULD CRY

H N R T T Y

I be t I can guess wh a t ha pp en ed nex t . . .

F R N K S E N I O R

HE'D SMACK THE TEAR FROM OUT MY EYE

H N R T T Y

Badda-boom

F R N K S E N I O R

HE TOLD ME GRO W UP, KID, YOU 'RE N O PETER PAN.

LITTLE BOY, BE A M AN .

Frank Senior throws bac k the second drink, and Hanratty signals far the two m ore.)



84 — CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

H A N R A T T Y

But yo u wa nt to do yo ur k id be t t e r , righ t?


You have any kids , Carl?

H A N R A T T Y

I do not


Then w ha t the he l l do you kn ow abo ut it ? I s ' pose you r fa the r was a p r ince .

H A N R A T T Y

Yeah, of Darkness .


H a h

H A N R A T T Y

LITTLE MA N, GR OW SOM E BALLS

THAT MOTTO RANG THROUGHOUT THE HALLS

ON MY TEN TH BIRTHDAY

HE SHOWED ME

A

GUN

THEN TOOK ME TO THE CORNFIELDS

AND SAID "OKAY...RUN "

HIS SENSE OF HUMOR WAS LAME

LUCKY FOR M E, SO WAS HIS AIM

IF HE H AD SEWN SOME NEEDLEPOINT

TO HAN G O N THE WALLS

IT

WOULDA

SAID "LITTLE MA N, GRO W SOM E BALLS."

They toa st with the new drinks ...)

* B O T H

BALLGAMES THAT HE MISSED

NIGHTS HE CAME HOM E PISSED

WELL, I DON 'T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY LONGER

H A N R A T T Y

NO ONE IN THE BLEACHERS


FISTFIGHTS WITH MY TEACHERS

B O T H

I'M LIVING PROOF WHAT DOESN'T KILL YA



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 85 -

B O T H )

MAKES YA STRONGER

H A N R A T T Y

W hat say w e break the los ing s treak , Fran k? Set the k id s tra ight .


thickly)

Aw, the kid 's f ine.

pulls the envelope out, waves it)

A p i lo t Serv ing h is coun t ry

slaps the envelope on the bar) \

He's doin ' f ine.

H A N R A T T Y

You're sure about that .


Ya gotta let 'e m go, Carl. C an ' t ho ld on forever.

he sings) ' ~~

v

\

LITTLE MAN, LITTLE ME

THEYCOME

WITH N O W ARRANTY

. I TRIED TO FIX IT

BUT WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED

IT'S HA RD TO SAY BUT FATHER

B O T H

DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST


SO CARL, WHEN YOU HAVE A KID

H A N R A T T Y

MY EX SAID HEAVEN FORBID

F R A N K S N IO R

DO AS

I

SAY, NO T A S

I

DID

B O T H

LIKE DAD AFTER DA D AFTER DA D AFTER DAD

SINCE THE WHOLE MESS BEGAN


YOU DO THE BEST YOU C AN

' II

1

;

1



86 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

H N R T T Y

LITTLE BOY, BE

A

MAN

(Hanratty watches Frank S enior waver, sit hard, and pass out cold, head on the bar.

Music switches to MAN INSIDE THE CLUES

Hanratty picks up the letter and checks the return address.)

B R T E N D E R

Anything e l se for ya?

H N R T T Y

Pa yp ho ne ? I ne ed to ge t to At lanta .

(pulls out

few bills)

M ake su re he ge t s hom e , okay?

B R T E N D E R

Buddy, he i s home.

(MUS IC. Hanratty steps outside the bar.)

i

H N R T T Y

I VE

LOOKED

INTO SO M ANY LIVES

BUT NEVER GOT THIS CLOSE

THE DISTANCE MADE IT EASIER TO SEE

I LIKE TO DO THE JOB AT H AN D

A N D T H E N

IT'SVADIOS

BUT HERE S A CASE TH AT S GOT THE BEST OF ME

AN ENVELOPE

\

WITH HIS ADDRESS

^

A BRAND N EW SET OR TRACKS

LEADING TO A KID WITH NO ROADS LEFT TO CH OOSE

\

THERE S NO ONE LEFT

T6

SAVE THE DAY

IT S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS

i

O I LL TAKE THAT RIDE

TO THE BOY INSIDES THE CLUES

(He goes. TRANSITION TO ...)

\

\



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 87 -

<H_

I

tdlfvtact

l

i

c e n e 4

F r a n k J r s B e d r o o m j f ^ t l

4JV

U ^

Frank Junior em erges from the covers.)

F R N K J U N I O R

Brenda. Brend a i t ' s okay. C om e on.

Brenda emerges.)

B R E N D

I 'm sorry , Frank . I want to. I just—I m not ready.

F R N K J U N I O R

f

y w n ^ ( W o ^ d

Brenda , it s all right—we can wa it . I 'd wait forever for you . I m ea n, i t took a mo nt h

just to get you to talk to me.

B R E N D

I t ' s not l ike I do n ' t l ike you .

F R N K J U N I O R

No, i t ' s fine—I love a chal lenge.

B R E N D

You could hav e an y nu rse here . You kn ow g ir ls f rom eve ryw here . You 've be en to

Par is , and I ta ly , and th ink of a l l the beautifu l women there must be in Germany.

W h y m e ?

w ; v r ^FRANK

J U N I O R

Because.. .1

love that yo u wo rk ha rd a nd yo u ' r e good at your job . I love that I can

just be myself w ith you . I love t fjat you alw ay s tel l the t ru th . So I can ask y ou

anything, like...wrty-ld_you-teave N e w O r l e a n s ?

B R E N D

turns away)

Oh. No r eason . Well—I sort of ran away.

F R N K J U N I O R

You ran away Wow. W hy w ou ld yo u do som eth in g l ike tha t?

B R E N D

I wa s engag ed . To be mar r ied . H e was the son of m y fa ther ' s l aw par tner , and h e

wa sn ' t ve ry n ice to me , an d on the mo rn in g of m y w ed d i ng d ay I looked a t mysel f in

my d ress an d I r ea l ized I d id n ' t wa n t to m ar ry h im . A nd so I l ef t. Ho me . A nd I

haven ' t been back s ince.

F R N K J U N I O R

I 'm glad you ran away.

L



I-

ll

,vx:*

v

- 88 -

CATCH ME I F YOU CAN

£ 0 > f o w ^ ^ £ 0 )


(reaches for her)

I l l nev er hu r t you .

B R E N D A

Bu t y o u re th e H a rv a rd g ra d u a te wo r ld t r a v e le r a n d I m ju s t . . .ordinary.


Or din ary is beau t i fu l . I do n t nee d Par is . I do n t nee d a fancy res taur an t o r a spo r ts

car.

Al l tha t o the r s tuff wa s jus t w ha t I fou nd a lon g w ay . . .while I w a s lo o k in g for you .

Frank sings.)

I VE SEEN THE SEVEN W ONDER S

IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW ^J )

BUT ALL THEM SEVEN WONDERS , * , ,

WELL, THEY CA N T COMPARE TO Y O U ^ S W*>*^ T*

I VE BEEN A LOTTA PLACES

YES, I VE TRAVELED NE AR AN D FAR

BUT NOW

I

KNOW

THAT HOM E IS WHERE YOU ARE

NIAGA RA FALLS? {J C (J

A LEAKY FAUCET THAT A PLUMBER OUGHTA FIX

THE PYRAMIDS?

ARE REALLY JUST A DUSTY PILE OF BRICKS.

>

THE

TAJ MAH AL?

j -o < W .

A FIXER-UPPER.

THE GRAND CANYON?^ \ J<U

JUST A HOLE.

THE GRAND CANAL IN VENICE?

AN EYE-TALIAN TOILET BOWL.

I VE SEEN THE SEVEN W ONDER S

IF YOU GIVE OR TAKE A FEW \

At/

^ •



• n

- 92 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

T L N T D O C T O R

Do you ha ve any idea w ho yo u r e look ing for?

(Branton p ulls ou t Frank Junior s y earbook photo.)

B R N T O N

Frank W il l iam Abag na le Jun ior .

D O L L R

A.K.A. Frank Will iams, Frank Taylor , Frank—

L L A G E N T S

Shut up , Dollar .

T L N T D O C T O R

You know, we d id ha ve a Frank Conne r s .

C O D

Frank Coll ins?

T L N T D O C T O R

Frank Conner s .

C O D

Frank Conner s .

H N R T T Y

Wait—so wh o s F rank Co l l in s?

T L N T D O C T O R

You tel l me, I do n t know .

H N R T T Y

F r a n k Conners. Looked l ike th is?

T L N T D O C T O R

W itho ut the uniform . Ra n off w it h a nurs e. Bren da something. D o n t k n o w w h e r e .

Too bad—good doctor .* Tu rned i n all h is pap er w or k o n t im e.

H N R T T Y

You let th is man operate on pat ients?

T L N T D O C T O R

Oh , no . H e jus t sup erv ise d the ER.

H N R T T Y

For the love of—Doc you ever go in to take ou t an append ix and come ou t wi th

someth ing e l se?



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 93 -

Once or twice. W hy ?

T L N T D O C T O R

H N R T T Y

Let s go.

MU SIC: A vaudeville out. Hanratty and men leave. Lights change.

Transition to:



- 94 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e 6 : T h e S t r o n g H o u s e N e w O r l e a n s

As the Strong Family Dining Living room farms around them, Frank Junior and Carol

Strong have a moment. Brenda and her father, Roger Strong enter a few steps behind

and take their seats at the dinner table)

C A R O L S T R O N G

Fam ily i s im por t an t to u s , Dr . Conne r s . You m igh t say it ' s every th in g . Bren da ' s

g rea t g randm othe r , An na M ae Lu lu Jean Abe rna thy , was m ar r ie d in the front par lo r

to her great grandfather , Jean Paul David Abraham For t , f -o- r - t , which is French for

s t rong . We ' r e an o ld N ew O r leans fami ly wi th ju s t a da b of Jewish . H ow e lse do

yo u exp la in the Ab rah am ? Brend a i s ou r on ly ch i ld . We a re very par t icu la r a bou t

w h o s h e b r in g s h o m e .

B R E N D A

So is Brenda, mother .

Frank Jr and Carol are seated)

R O G E R

So, before Atlanta , you were in Californ ia?


Yes, s ir . D ea th Valley Ch ildr en 's Ho spita l .

R O G E R

They have a Ch i ld ren ' s Hosp i ta l in Dea th Val ley?


Yes, s ir . Righ t be hin d the M acy 's .

C A R O L

Wel l go dd am n and gum bo , Brenda , I th ink yo u lande d one th i s t ime . M uch b e t te r

tha n that ra t t y l i t t le Delacro ix boy. This on e 's a hu n ky hu nk of you-be tcha.

B R E N D A

Mother .

R O G E R

Doc tor Co nne rs . Do yo u com e f rom a large family?


Please, si r, cal l m e Frank. I 'm a n only chi ld , bu t I ho pe to have lo ts of k ids . Fam ily

is the mos t impor tan t th ing .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

95 -

C A R O L

Ding d ing Cor rec t answe r . But no w the mak e-or -break rou nd . Do n ' t l i e to me ,

now.

re

you . A Luth e ran?


Why, yes, I am a Lu ther an.

R O G E R

Well then, Frank, would you l ike to say grace?

(off Frank Junior s hesitation:)

Unless yo u ' r e no t comfo rtable . *


Oh, no, absolutely.

(folds hands, bows head, thinks)

Two l i tt le mice fe ll in to a bu ck et of cream. The f i rst mo us e quickly g ave u p an d

drowned bu t the second mouse , he s t ruggled so ha rd tha t he even tua l ly churned

tha t c ream in to bu t t e r and he wa lked ou t . Am en.

R O G E R B R E N D A

Amen.

C A R O L

Am en and God dam n Tha t w as jus t beau t i fu l . W here d id yo u l ea rn tha t , yo u p iou s

piece of cutie-pie?


The, ah, F i rst Lu the ran Ch urc h of De ath Valley.

R O G E R

Frank , hav e yo u dec ided w hich hosp i t a l you w an t to wo rk a t he re in N ew Or leans?

F R A N K J U N O R

Well , to be qui te honest , I 'm thinking about ge t t ing back into law

R O G E R

Are you a doctor or a lawyer?


Before I w en t to me dica l school , I pas sed the bar in Cal i fornia . I prac t ice d la w for

one year , then I decided, why not t ry my hand a t pedia t r ics .

B R E N D A

You 're jus t full of su rpr ises .

i ri



—

96 - CATCH ME IF YOU CAN


(a look to us: he s surprised himself)

Yes I am

R O G E R

Awfu l ly y ou ng to be a lawyer , a r en ' t y ou?

F R A N K

I get that a lot.

C A R O L

Sakes a l ive, the yu m m y Yankee i s a doc to r and a lawyer Oh , Brenda , dar l in ' , you

h i t the jackpo t w i th th i s one

R O G E R

W here d id you go to law schoo l? Ha rva rd , Yale , Co lu mb ia . . . ?


Berkeley.

B R E N D A C A R O L

Berkeley

B R E N D A

T h a t ' s w h e r e d a d d y w e n t


Oh Wow. Fantas t ic .

R O G E R

So . F rank . Was tha t snake Ho l l in gsw or th s t il l t each ing there w he n you w en t

th rough Berke ley?


H o l l i n g s w o r th . . .yes. G ru m py o ld Ho l l ingsw or th , righ t? I t e l l ya , me ane r tha n ever.

R O G E R

*•

A nd th at do g of h is? Tell m e Frank, wh at w as the na m e of h is li t t le dog?


(works the problem, then:)

I 'm so r ry . The dog wa s de ad wh e n I go t there .

R O G E R

H ow u nfo r tuna te . A doc to r, a lawyer , a Lu th eran . So w ha t a r e you , F rank? 'Caus e I

th ink you ' r e abou t to ask my da ug h te r ' s ha nd in mar r iage , an d I hav e a r igh t to

know.


j Kn ow w hat , s i r?

«



C A T C H M E IF YOU CAN

- 97 -

vi

R O G E R

The t ru th . What a re yo u do ing here? W hat i s a m an of yo u r accom pl i shmen t s do ing

with Brenda?


Bre nda ' s the best g i r l I ' ve ever kn ow n, s i r .

R O G E R

But w ho are yo u Frank ? If yo u w an t m y b less ing . . .If y o u w a n t m y dau ghte r.. .I d

l ike to hea r the t ru t h f rom yo u now.


The t ru th? The t ru th , sir...is...The t ru th i s I m no ta lawyer . I 'm no t a doctor . I 'm

nothing, really . I 'm just a k id wh o ' s in love w i th yo ur dau ghter .

R O G E R

No. I kn ow wh at you a re .

pause)

You' re a romant ic .


lam?

R O G E R

Yes you a re . M en like u s a re no th ing wi th ou t t he wo m en w e love .


W e ll g o d d a m n a n d g u m b o M a y I h u g y o u ?

All laugh.)

B R E N D A

Oh, F rank

Brend a and Frank kiss, at length. Roger clears his throat to no avail. Finally, Carol

jumps up.)

O h , D a d d y

O h , M o m m y

Would you look at the t ime

Is i t seven - th i r ty a l read y?

C R O L

R O G E R

C R O L

R O G E R



- 98 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Pf*. -

s

i t t ime

for

Mitch?

Mi tch , who ' s Mi tch?

Mitch Mil ler

B R E N D A


R O G E R

C A R O L , R O G E R B R E N D A

And the S ing Along Gang

(They all he d for the couch and click the TV on.

R O G E R

Take i t , Mother.

(PROJECTIONS of The Strong Family Singers singing along as Carol sings.)

C A R O L

I FEEL A MIGHTY QUAK E

THE SOUTH BEGINS TO SHAKE

UNDER OUR FAMILY TREE

THE LEAVES BEGIN TO BLOW

GONE W ITH THE WIN D THEY GO

ALL THRO UGH OUR FAMILY TREE

UP TOP MAGNOLIAS BLOOM

THEY SPREAD THEIR SWEET PERFUME

FOR THIS ANC ESTRAL JUBILEE

NOW EVERY BOUGH MUST PULL ITS WEIGHT

ITS TIME TO PRUNE A ND PROPAGATE

SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE

C o m e o n D a d d y

O h n o I coul—alright then I wi l l

R O G E R



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

99 -

R O G E R

I HEAR THE DOGWOOD'S BARK

A SEED'S BEGUN TO SPARK

INSIDE OUR FAMILY TREE

A

TWIG BEGINS TO POKE

FROM OUT THAT MIGHTY OAK

TO JOIN THE JAMBOREE

R O G E R & L A D I E S

AND LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE

HE GLIDES OUT FULLY G ROW N

A

DIXIELAND R S V P

C A R O L

RUFF RUFF

TSSST

MMM

MMM

JAMBOREE

M E N

SAVE SOME OF THAT GUM BO FOR ME

C A R O L

WA-WAH

WA-WA-WA-WAH

BOP BU BOP BU BOP BU BOW

R O G E R

AN D N O ON E MIND S AN EXTRA LIMB

C A R O L

ESPECIALLY W HE N IT LOOKS LIKE H IM

R O G E R C A R O L

SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY TREE

R O G E R

Alr igh t F rank , a sk tha t ques t ion yo u cam e he re to a sk .


Sir , H o w so on can I take the ba r exam in Lou isiana? A nd , Bren da. I 've ma de a lot of

mis t akes in the pas t , bu t I w ou ld n ' t cha nge a s ing le one , becau se they a l l l ed m e to

you . Brenda S t rong , w i l l yo u m ar r y me?

B R E N D A

Yes Fra nk C onn ers, I wi l l m ar ry yo u.

S T R O N G F A M I L Y S I N G E R S

WOO



100

M

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

i


I LL GIVE A REBEL YELL

TO EVERY SOUTHER N BELLE

UNDE R OUR FAMILY TREE

I

i :

:

I'LL SWING THE SECOND LINE

WHEN OUR TWO CLANS COMBINE

FOR SOME BIG

+ A L L

EASY HARMO NY


TRUMPETS BEGIN TO SHO UT

S T R O N G F A M I L Y

TO WELCOME OUR NEW SPROUT


YOU'VE CHARMED THIS YANKEE REFUGEE

S T R O N G F A M I L Y

WE'RE ALL SO LUSH AND OVERGROWN


NOW I KNOW I'LL NEVER BE ALONE

S T R O N G S

WE'RE GLAD YOU CLIMBED OUR


FAMILY TREE

S T R O N G S

YOUR LOVE HAS RAISED THE BAR

I'M SWINGING O N A STAR

F A M I L Y S I N G E R S

BA BA BA BA BOP WOW

DOO WOW

DOO WOP


FOR THAT WHO NEEDS A LAW DEGREE? ?

G I R L S

THE TREES THAT BEAR THE RIPEST FRUITS



C A T C H

ME IF YOU CAN

- 101 -

F> if

B O Y S

ARE TREES THAT HAVE THE DEEPEST ROOTS SO

L L

SO WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY

WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY-

WELCO ME TO OUR FAMILY TREE

F R N K J U N I O R

Look out o ld Frankie is home

L L

YEAH

After applause:

MU SIC. Roger takes Carol and they dance close. Much as Frank Senior and Paula

danced at the top of th show. Frank Junior watches Roger and Carol dance.

Brenda helps Frank Junior o n with a winter coat and scarf. He gives her a kiss, and as

Roger and Carol dance off w TRANSITION TO:)



1 0 2 CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

S c e n e

D i v e B a r N e w R o c h e l l e

(Frank Senior, in a postal uniform, at the bar, a crusty old BAR TEND ER behind it.

Frank Junior enters.)


Dad


(turns, doesn t go to him )

What a re you do ing here?


I—I cam e to see you . W ha t a r e you d o in g d ressed l ike tha t?


I took a job . A gov ern m en t job . I m bea t in g th em a t the i r ow n game. I m a

g o v e r n m e n t

employee—you

see how beautifu l that is? You got a good lawyer?


Well , I sor t of am a law ye r now .


Look at th is le t ter . The I.R.S. w a n t s m o r e . T h e y a t e t h e c a k e . N o w th e y w a n t t h e

crum bs . You kn ow w hat ? I l l m ak e th em cha se me . Fo r the r es t of the i r l ives .

(looks at Frank Junior)

I had an FBI agent come see me.

| |


Mis te r Hanra t ty .


I

You go t the i r num ber , son . Th e Un i ted S ta tes gov ernm en t , cham p . Ru nn ing for the

hills .


Da d . I t s over . I m gon na s top now.


The y r e neve r gon na ca tch you , F rank . W hy wou ld you s to p?


I m se t t l ing dow n . I m go ing to r a i se a f amily .

(reaches into his coat, pulls out an invitation)



T J 1

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 103 -


I cam e here to give yo u this . I t ' s an invi ta t ion to an eng ag em en t par ty . Da ddy , I 'm

get t ing m arr ie d. C an yo u bel ieve tha t? I 'm get t in g m arr ied . I 've got tw o t ickets for

you and mom, f i rs t -c lass , and the wedding—


W hy wou ld you d o tha t? You ' re on top of the wo r ld .


I 'm changing my l i f e , Dad . And you won ' t have to wor ry about any th ing anymore .

The house , the Cadi l lac , I 'm g oing to get i t a l l back. Ev eryth ing the y took from u s.

A n d M o m w il l see —


Your m oth e r ' s r emar r i ed . To m y fr i end Jack Barnes . They have a ho use on L ong

Island.

Why would she do tha t?

Do n ' t ge t ma r r i ed , F rankie .




But—why would she do tha t to us?


The re 's no us any mo re . Listen to me . I 'm you r fa ther.


Then tel l me to stop.


W hy wo uld I t e ll yo u to s top?


Because you ' re my fa ther .


You can ' t s top. You' re on a w inn in g st reak. You got ta r ide tha t , baby. Ride i t

as Frank Junior begins to back away.)

You ' re an Abagna le C 'm on , s ing i t w i th me

a cappella, he sings:)

THEY KNEW THE KEY TO LIFE

IS THAT IT'S WH A' CHA DREAM

Frank

Jr

pushes him away and exits.)



106 - CATCH

M IF Y O U

CAN

S c e n e

B r e n d a s B e d r o o m , S t r o n g H o u s e , N e w O r l e a n s

(Frank Junior madly stuffing his suitcase. Bren da sweeps in, in a party dress.)

B R E N D A

Frank , wh ere sho u ld I pu t t hese? The y re checks , eng age me n t g if ts from D ad dy s

friends—

(breaks off, sees what he s doing:)

W hat r e yo u do ing? Eve ryone s dow ns ta i r s wa i t ing to me e t t he g room- to -be .


I have to leave.

B R E N D A

W h a t ?

l

| F R A N K J U N I O R

if

B renda , yo u love me , r i gh t? I me an , yo u love me no mat t e r wh a t?

B R E N D A

Well—of

cou r se . F rank , wh a t s go ing on?


You d love me wh ethe r I w as s i ck , o r w he th er I w as poo r , o r w he th er I ha d a

different n a m e ?

(He opens a suitcase and it s full of money .)

B R E N D A

Frank , whe re d you ge t al l t ha t mo ney ?


Brend a, l i s ten to me . A

name—what's

a na m e, r igh t? I t do esn t mat ter . M y na m e is

F rank Conners , r i gh t?

That's

w ho I am w i th you . But w e al l ha ve secrets .

Som et im es wh e n I t ravel , I us e the na m e Fran k Taylor. Th at s my secret .

B R E N D A

Fran k, w ha t are yo u ta lk in g abou t? W hy are yo u say ing al l th is?


I do n t w an t to l ie to yo u any mo re. I m not a doctor . I nev er we nt to me dica l school .

,

t

hi

I m no t a lawy er , o r a H ar va rd gra dua te , o r a Berkeley gra dua te , o r a , a Luth eran . I

i ;

r an aw ay f rom ho m e tw o year s ago w he n I w as s ix teen .

B R E N D A

F r a n k . . .You're no t a Lu th eran?

I

b L



- 108 -

y ~

,ii

'• r

1

i

I

offstage)

Brenda

Brenda

Is he here?

B r e n d a . W h e r e

is

he?

He ' s gone .

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

C R O L

R O G E R

B R N T O N

H N R T T Y

B R E N D

H N R T T Y

Where'd

he go?

gets no answe r, then, gently:)

Listen to me , Bren da, sw eeth ear t , th is cou ld end ver y badly . W e've got m en af ter

h im in every s ta te . M en w ho sh oot to k i ll . You ha ve to te l l m e whe re he i s.

B R E N D

I can ' t .

Cod bursts in.)

C O D

Hanra t ty . Th ree of t he gues t s sa w som eone l eav ing ou t t he back .

H N R T T Y

to Brenda, moving to go)

D o n ' t g o a n y w h e r e .

Hanratty, Carol, and Cod go.)

R O G E R

Brenda , da r l ing , if yo u love h im , you ' l l do the r igh t th ing . Young Lady

Roger shakes his head and exits.)

t

WH EN I WAS A CHILD

MY EYES WERE CLEAR, I SAW THE GO OD SIDE



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

109

B R E N D A )

THAT S THE KIND OF SECOND SIGHT

THAT DOESN T LAST TOO LONG

BUT WH EN I WAS LOST

I HEARD A VOICE THAT BROUGHT ME HEALING

THAT S THE KIND OF SPECIAL HOPE

HE BROUGHT ME WITH HIS SONG

PEOPLE ONLY SAW THE DOCTOR ,

LAWYER, INDIAN CHIEF

BUT HE WAS JUST

A LONELY LITTLE BOY TO M E.

WITH HIS SWEET AND GENTLE TOUCH ,

HE SURE UNLOCKED MY SOUL

SO IN RETURN,

I SURELY WANT TO HEL P TO SET HIM FREE...

YEAH, NOW I WANNA SEE HIM

FLY...FLY...

I LL BE YOUR ALIBI MY BABY

FLY FLY FLY AWA Y...

I DID N T GET TO SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYE

NO NEED TO TELL ME W HY MY BABY

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

YOU LL FLY BACK HOM E TO ME ON E DAY

T H R E E W O M E N

OOH-OOH. MMM-MMM.

OOH-OOH. AH-AH

B R E N D A

MEN WH O THEY CALL REAL

WERE REALLY FAKES

AND LEFT ME N OTH ING

BUT THIS MA N THEY CALL A FAKE

GAVE ME SOM ETHING REAL

T H R E E W O M E N

MMM-MMM-MMM

AH. AH-AH.

MMM-MMM.



-

110 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

It

i

•

l

B R E N D A )

I VE KN OWN CRUEL, CRUEL ME N

WITH CHRISTIAN NAMES

WH O TAUGHT ME MANNERS

BUT THIS MA N WITHO UT A NAME

TAUGHT ME HO W TO FEEL

T H R E E W O M E N )

OOH-OOH

OOH-OOH

AAH-OOH-OOH.

THEY ONLY SAW THE MA GIC TRICKS

THE SMOKE AN D MIRRORS

WAS I THE ONLY ON E

TO EVER SEE THE BOY

SO NOW THEY WANNA

CLIP HIS PRECIOUS WINGS

AND BRING HIM DOW N

BUT IN H IS HEART AND SOUL S

THE KIND OF GOO D THEY

CA N T DESTROY

OOH-OOH-OOH.

OOH .. .

BOY.

AAH-AAH.

A H H - A H H

BRING HIM D OWN

A H H - A H H

OOH-OOH-OOH.

,(

i

I

YEAH, NOW I WANNA SEE HIM

FLY...

FLY...


FLY FLY

FLY AWA Y...

WE DID N T GET TO SAY GOODBYE,

GOODBYE

N O NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY BABY

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

YOU LL FLY BACK H OM E TO M E

ONE DAY

(Brenda s bedroom goes away.)

BABY WHE N YOU RE IN THE CLOUDS

PLEASE KEEP A LOOKOU T

MAYBE DARLING FIND A HIDEAWAY

FLY

FLY AWAY

GOODBYE

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

OOH-OOH. AAH.

AAH-AAH.

OOH-OOH.

AAH.

L .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- ll -

V \

B R E N D A )

FOR YOU AN D I

YOU AND I

NOW I LL SEE HIM

FLY...FLY...


FLY, FLY, FLY AWAY...

T H R E E W O M E N )

YOU AND I.

OOH.. .

FLY...FLY...

FLY, FLY,

FLYAWAY...

WE DID N T GET TO SAY GOODBYE,

GOODBYE

NO NEED TO TELL ME WH Y MY BABY

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

YOU LL FLY BACK HO ME TO M E ON E DAY

GOODBYE

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

YOU LL FLY BACK HOM E T O ME O NE DAY

MAYBE IT S BECAUSE

YOU LL FLY BACK HO ME TO M E O NE DAY

AND I LL BE WAITING FOR YOU THERE

YOU WILL FLY BACK HO ME TO ME O NE DAY.

OOH-OOH.

OOH-OOH.

AAH-AAH

AAH-AAH. OOH.

OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH.

OOH-OOH-OOH.

FLY,

FLY AWAY.

Lights to black. In black, we hear the deafening roar a jet plane taking off.)



- 212 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

li

,1

.

S c e n e 9

M i a m i I n t e r n a t i o n a l A i r p o r t

Lights on the same airport scene we saw at rise:

A deafening SH OT stops everyone in their tracks. Frank JR is center with his open

suitcase o n the ground and his hands in the air. The Passen gers a ll stare.)

iir

Cod X tA

F R N K J U N I O R

That was c lo se you cou ld hu r t someone .

H N R T T Y

Co me on , F rank . I ' d r a ther t ake yo u a l ive tha n d ead .

F R N K J U N I O R

C an I a t leas t ma ke a s ta te me nt f irs t?

H N R T T Y

At the a i rpo r t ? No . You ' r e no t pu t t i ng on a sho w fo r t hese pe op le .

F R N K J U N I O R

A s h o w ?

B R E N D

F r a n k

She breaks and runs towards him. The agents stop her before she gets to him)

F R N K J U N I O R

Brenda

H N R T T Y

Brenda wa s yo u r b ig mis t ake . We fo l lowed her r igh t t o you .

B R E N D

Frank, I 'm sorry. I t r ied.

F R N K J U N I O R

I t ' s okay . I un de rs tan d .

B R E N D

rank— love you .

H N R T T Y

All r igh t , get he r ou t of here . Co d, get ev ery on e out of here .

HANRATTY: For the love of —Dollar, what does "hold your fire"mean where you come from?DOLLAR: I fired a warning shot,Agent Hanratty!COD: I think you shot down aplane.



C A T C H M E

IF YOU CAN - 113 -

B R N T O N

Ha nra t t y do n t l e t h im—

H N R T T Y

I got this. Just go .

And they do.)

I m sorry, Fran k. I t s t im e to g ive up .

F R N K J U N I O R

IT S

MY HAPPY ENDING .

r

H N R T T Y

Tha t s no t t rue , F rank .

F R N K J U N I O R

NO W IT S TIME TO SAY

GOODNIGHT-

WE CAN STOP PRETENDING.

TELL

THE SPOTLIGHT MAN TURN OFF MY LIGHT.

CAUSE THE SHOW IS DONE NOW

AN D IT S TIME TO LEAVE THE STAGE.

YEAH, THE GOOD GUYS WO N NOW

AN D THE BAND H AS NO MORE SONGS TO PLAY

IT S A HAPPY END ING SO I LL SAY

GOODBYE

GOODBYE TO ALL THE MAKE BELIEVE

GOODBYE

THERE S N O M ORE M AGIC U P MY SLEEVE

THERE S NOT HING LEFT TO ACT UP HERE

I LL

TAKE MY BOW AN D DISAPPEAR

NO QUESTIONS LEFT FOR ANSWERING

THERE S ONLY ONE WO RD LEFT TO SING

GOODBYE

H N R T T Y

You can t ju s t wa lk aw ay f rom f rom th is . You r e w an ted on every con t inen t .

F R N K J U N I O R

IT S A HAPPY ENDING

TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH.



114

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

w


NOW THE CURTAIN S DESCEND ING

AN D I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR M ONEY S WORTH

GON NA STOP THE SHOW NOW

CAUSE I WANNA LEAVE ON TOP

SO GET UP AND GO NOW

CAUSE THERE S NOTHIN G LEFT INSIDE MY HEA D

EVERYTHING THA T S LEFT TO SAY S BEEN SAID

i

11

BUT GOODBYE

GOODBYE TO ALL THE SONG A ND DANCE

GOODBYE

OFFSTAGE I STAND A BETTER CHANCE

H i

THE SH OW IS THRO UGH , THE PART S BEEN PLAYED

NO STANDING IN THE WINGS AFRAID

NO VIOLINS OR PHONY TEARS

THE W ORD THA T S MUSIC TO MY EARS

IS GOODBYE

GOODBYE

GOODBYE

GOODBYE

I M NOT AFRAID OF STOPPING

THIS EN D COULD BE MY START

I WANNA LIVE A LIFE

AN D NOT JUST PLAY A FART

1 1

' ,

I LL WALK INTO THE SUNSET

I LL SAIL*ACROSS THE SEA

THE FINAL WORD

THE LAST YOU LL HEAR OF ME

OF M E

IS GOODBYE

GOODBYE TO EVERY NIGHT ALON E

GOODBYE

GOODBYE TO LIVES THAT I DON T OW N

I M TIRED OF LIVING ON A STAGE

A LIFE THAT S ONLY O N THE PAGE



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

115

( F R A N K J U N I O R )

THE EMPTY LIVES ARE IN THE PAST

I'VE TRIED BEFORE, BUT HER E'S THE LAST

GOODBYE

GOODBYE

GOODBYE

GOODBYE

I do n ' t und er s ta nd . You' re s t il l here .

H A N R A T T Y

Yup. A nd yo u ' r e un de r arres t . I t do esn ' t jus t en d becaus e your w an t i t to . You do n ' t

wa lk out of yo ur l ife as if i t nev er ha pp en ed . You do n ' t ge t to do tha t .


My da d ' s wa i t ing fo r m e u p nor th . We ' re gon na mo ve back to N ew Roche l le, we ' re

gonna open up the s to re—

H A N R A T T Y

Your da d ' s de ad , Frank . I 'm sorry to be the one to te ll yo u. G ra nd C entra l Station—

he fe l l down some s ta i rs and broke his neck.


N o

H A N R A T T Y

The po lice repor t s a id he ' d b een d r ink in g .


You' re ly ing to me.

H A N R A T T Y

I don' t l ie .


No . You do n ' t ge t to say tha t . Th at ' s no t h o w this ends .

H A N R A T T Y

I 'm sorry . I 'm sorry , Fran k. N ow i t ' s t im e to face u p to w h at you 've don e. I t ' s t im e

to stop.


What i f I don ' t know how?

H A N R A T T Y

You don ' t have a choice .


I cou ld go. I cou ld run , r igh t now .

i • is



i

- 116 -

l: i

| , Iff

I

1

'

1

I 1

i -

I know , bu t you w on t .

H o w d o y o u k n o w ?

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

H N R T T Y

F R N K J U N I O R

H N R T T Y

Because yo u re t i red of runn ing . Because i t w on t b r ing you da d back .

F R N K J U N I O R

I jus t wan te d to ge t h im back o n his fee t.

H N R T T Y

I know . Lis ten, com e w ith me. You do you r t ime, pay yo ur deb t to socie ty an d w e l l

ge t yo u ou t ear ly . You l l com e wor k a t the Burea u.

F R N K J U N I O R

At the FBI?

H N R T T Y

We need yo ur know -how . We re yea rs beh ind on fo rge ry and counterfeiting a n d

no w w i th these comp ute rs and c red i t ca rds comin g in , i t s on ly go ing to ge t wo rse . . .

F R N K J U N I O R

Th e FBI? Real ly? You m ea n you l l lock me up , then le t m e out an d pa y me to d o

wha t you locked me up fo r?

H N R T T Y

Tha t s w ha t I s a id .

F R N K J U N I O R

Would I ge t a badge?

H N R T T Y

Ev en better. You ll get a l ife.

F R N K J U N I O R

B u t w h y w o u l d y o u want to he lp me?

H N R T T Y

Pause.)

Because I m the on ly one w h o can .

Pause.)

Hanratty cuffs Frank Jr.)

F R N K J U N I O R

Th an ks for no t g ivin g u p on me, Mis ter Han ra t ty . You re pre t ty cool .



CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 117 -

Frank, Jr. suddenly hugs Hanratty)

H N R T T Y

Than k yo u . N ob od y ever s a id tha t abo ut m e be fore.

Hanratty slowly raises his arms to return the hug)


So ho w d o we end th i s?

Your way.

MUSIC.)

H A N R A T T Y

STOP YOUR SOBBIN' KID, BEFORE I SHOOT.

YOUR NOSE IS RU NN ING ON MY ONLY SUIT.

WHO D AVE

THOUGHT I 'D SHARE THIS DANCE WITH YOU

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER

WHICH IS STRANGE BUT TRUE.


wipes his eyes, musters a smile)

. GUESS YOU CAUG HT ME, NO W THE CHASE IS DONE .

YOU MUST ADMIT I GAVE YOU QUITE THE RUN .

MISTER

TORTOISE-HERE S

YOUR RABBIT STEW.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER


H A N R A T T Y

TELL MISTER RIPLEY AT BELIEVE IT OR NO T

H A N R A T T Y F R A N K J U N I O R

THE SHOW IS OVER AND HE'S ALL THAT I GOT.

H A N R A T T Y

HAR D TO BELIEVE IT BUT WE'RE TYING THE KNOT TODAY


THA T'S OKAY.

H A N R A T T Y

FRANK, TH AN K YOUR PUBLIC WH ILE YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PRIME.

THEY W ON 'T BE SEEING YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME.



— 2 1 8 —- C A T C H M E

IF YOU CAN

I

•

( H A N R A T T Y )

AN D AFTER YOU'VE PAID FOR YOUR LIFE OF CRIME

WELL KID WE'LL SEE WH AT GO OD BEHAVIOR C AN DO.

H A N R A T T Y F R A N K J U N I O R

'TIL THEN WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER

W HIC H IS STRANGE BUT TRUE.

Fran k Junior turns to us.)

H A N R A T T Y

Okay , F rank . H ow 'd you do i t? How d you cheat on the Louis iana bar exam?


I d i dn ' t cheat . I s tud ied .

H A N R A T T Y

N o I hate you .


Agent Hanra t ty tu rned ou t to be a s good a s h i s word .

H A N R A T T Y

Frank was sentenced to f i f teen years in pr ison but was paroled af ter seven for good

behavior .


I s e t u p my o w n secur ity comp any a nd w ou ld pa y back eve ry bad check I pas sed .

C H E R Y L A N N

The bas ta rd neve r pa id me back .

H A N R A T T Y

N ot now, Ch eryl A nn . Let i t go.


Brenda marr ied a rea l doctor and l ived happi ly ever af ter .

H A N R A T T Y

Frank an d I becam e good f r i ends .


H e ev en agreed to be the godfa ther to m y kids . True s tory.

MUSIC BUILDS as

th

full company enters.)

F R A N K J U N I O R , H A N R A T T Y + F U L L C O M P A N Y

j HEY, MISTER LAWYER, MISTER TWO-ON-THE-AISLE-

t YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT W HE N FORTUNE MAY SMILE.

If

JI



\

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

- 2 1 9 -

H N R T T Y

IN FACT, I THINK I 'M GO NN A BREAK WITH TRADITION.

AN D TELL

J

EDGAR HOOVER, "BABY I'VE GONE

FISHINT

F R N K JUNIOR

IF YOU H AD REA D THIS, YO U'D HAVE

SAID

"N O WAY " .

I ALMOST M ADE IT LOOK LIKE CRIME DOES PAY

• THE RE'S LOTS OF FOLKS THA T I MISS EVERYDAY

He looks around at all the faces from his

past the

full company.)

F R N K J U N I O R & HANRATTY

BUT NOW A NEW DUET HAS M ADE ITS DEBUT

AND NOW WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER

C O M P N Y

OH YEAH

B O T H

IN AND OUT OF LUCK TOGETHER

C O M P N Y

OH YEAH

B O T H

I 'M GLAD WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER


F R N K J U N I O R

YOUR JUNIOR PARTNER CAME TH ROU GH .

H N R T T Y

A SIMPLE CASE OF MO NKEY SEE, MONKEY DO.

F R N K J U N I O R

I 'M GLAD TO BE ON YOUR TEAM.

H N R T T Y

LET'S MAKE SOME BUTTER OUT OF CREAM

F R N K J U N I O R

SHA-DOO-BAH DWEE-LEEYAH DO-BAH

DWEE-LE-YAH DOO-BOP

E N S E M B L E

YEAH



«Wf

120 -

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

•ri

I

(The curtain falls.)

T H E E N D

cmiyc script (mti version)

Documents