Clash of the Titans

When our elderly Statesman cat, James Bond, passed away, the simmering conflict between RJ(seven) and Olwyn (five) boiled over.

Not that they rolled around on the floor screaming and drawing blood. But there was a lot moreteasing (from RJ) and growling (from Olwyn) than there was before. And we did hear an altercationone evening and found a tuft of fur in the area.

For us, this is DEFCON 3. (For those who don't know their Defense Conditions, that's in the middle.)Worthy of taking action.

She knows what you're supposed to do. She's compelled to make sure you do it.

It takes a lot of annoyance to ruffle our Reverend Jim, a very mellow cat by breed and disposition.

But Olwyn can do it.

Our "Miss Bossy Pants" has a thousand-watt brain and a heart like a Mallo Cup. However, these

appealing organs are wrapped in the persona of a Marine drill sergeant. Which is kinda sweet,except when her reminders come as you are already doing whatever it is.

This seems to be where RJ is at. When Olwyn comes along and tries to boss him, he getsexasperated. He doesn't object right away; RJ is far more subtle than that.

In the finest traditions of sibling rivalry, RJ will wait for moments when he can stare at her andthreaten to give her a poke with his paw. He never does. (His speciality is to almost touch themwhile clearly communicating, in cat language, "I'm not touching you!") But the thought that he mightdrives Olwyn crazy.

He knows this.

RJ is always completely innocent after an "incident"

I warned Mr WayofCats that Olwyn was going to take losing James very hard; he was her hero. Shebossed the other cats, but never him, and so, he was her only Cat Friend.

Even in James' diminished state, I noticed that Olwyn would come and perch near him. In that subtlecat way, they were still "visiting." So she was sad, and upset, and even more controlling, in theweeks after James passed away.

RJ, on the other hand, was relieved of a source of stress. One of the problems of James' mentaldeterioration was that he stopped seeing RJ as his little buddy, and started seeing him, when in hisbad spells, as a frightening figure. I was sad to see this once-close relationship come to such a badend. I believe this contrast in mental states created even more friction between our two oldest cats.

To address it, we fussed over both of them to correct their particular problems. I figured out thatboth RJ and Tristan took Olwyn's assertion that she was responsible for everything as an invitation tobother her when they wanted something. Olwyn should handle this by coming to the humans and getthem to do that something: See? I get things done!

But this is actually a gap in Olwyn's skill set. She and Mr WayofCats "share a brain" to the point thatshe doesn't have good Demanding Behaviors, or really, much of any. We need to show her ways ofactivating the humans when the boys bug her, and then they both get what they want.

RJ needs help with this, too. After some careful study, we concluded that Olwyn was giving him ahard time about getting his cuddle time before bed. So we made a point of making sure he got his

special times, and telling Olwyn, in his hearing, that this is what we were doing. RJ perked up andstopped using Olwyn as stress redirection.

I was sitting on the couch, working on this post, when RJ leaped up to snuggle beside me, purr, andrub the top of his head on my arm. I was delighted with his overt request for attention, since this isexactly what I'd been trying to teach him over the last few weeks. What did he want?

I got up and followed him, but he didn't want anything but attention. Which he got... and sometreats, too.

I want to reinforce his sweet assertion as a Good Thing.

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