cixous_portrait of dora

8/10/2019 Cixous_Portrait of Dora

1/21

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together a young cast; to embody, that is, the interior

of

the

characters, to embody the force of the transgression; it wasn't of the

slightest importance whether Nobbs was beautiful or ugly. I

preferred not to approach the question in the usual way, where,

starting from their appearance, actors express the inner life

of

characters according to the theatre's psychological laws, I chose the

opposite approach: starting from their interior life,

to

make their

exterior body plausible. And here we come back to the problem

raised by Nobbs: the costume makes the body believable. Neithef

Susannah York nor Juliet Berta

was

physically Nobbs; they made

her plausible, though, by their acting, their costume, and their

feeling for the imaginary. This is why I could not, either, do what

Moore did and show Albert as a corpse; no, I just could not bring

myself to do her that violence. Albert is there, sitting on her chair,

the chair

that

has become far more than just her chair. It is her

p/ace a place she has come

to

know by heart in

all

its details: its

consistency, colour, polish and scratches. I could

not

take away her

disguise when she was dead, as people 'take away' a corpse from a

house in order to bury it: only her hands, which had been polishing

shoes, remain suspended in midair.

(,

26

.

Portrait

of

Dora

by

';1

,

.

Helene

Cixous

Translated from the French y

Anita Barrows

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, ,

:-:-i

Portrait 01

Dora

wasfirst

performed

inLondon

atthe

NewEnd

\

\ ,

,'

."C

II

J

\-

"'>

"

,)

!

Theatreon

the

23rd

May1979withthefollowingcast:

( ' . , , . ' . -,

. Jl/

tt

, i

c

v' - : : : ~ ( j t...

,1'i.

CarolineLangrishe VOICEOF

THE

PLAY. Theseeventsappear,likeashadow,in\ '

i

DORA

Terence

Bayler

dreams,oftenwithsuch lucidity that

one

seemsactuallyto

FREUD

~

NeilPhelps

grasp

them.Butdespitethateffect,they

evade

any

definitive

/5

,

~ , ~

I

MRB.

clarification;

and

ifwe proceed

without

particularskill

and

j,

GerardFalconetti

:t

MRK.

caution,

wefindourselvesunableto

determine

whether

or

SheilaGish

t;.

MRSK.

notsuchan incidenthasreallytakenplace. . . """"='"

I;

,

\ ' ,

!1

';l-I

DORA.

in a tone

of

voice that shatters the silence abruptly.

I'

I

somewhere between a threat

nd

a demand):

If you

darekiss

I :

me,I'llslap

you

in theface!

Directt:d

and

designedbySimoneBenmussa.

Produced

by

BuddyDalton

andRichard

Jackson.

DORA. with a cajoling inflection. suddenly inhis ear) Goahead,

I.

just

youdare! I'llslap

you!

, .

FREUD. Yes,

you

willtell

me

about it.Inallitsdetails.

L

) ~ (

\

A'

DORA. in a faraway voice)

"I f

youlike "

;...

) '

in an alert voice) If you like,

Doctor.Andthen?

J

c

,

.'1--\

, '"

,

-'>

':" ' ~ '

.r;'

FREUD. Youwilltellme

about

the

sceneby

the

lake,inallits

..-"'" ' . -

~ l - ~ ~ ~

c-

.

".:

details.

I:

\)

,- ';-').:.

.

DORA. WhydidIkeepsilentfor

the

firstfewdays

afterthe

:

:

scene

by

thelake?

I.:

FREUD.

Towhomdo youthink

youshouldaskthatquestion?

DORA.

Andthen

whydid

I

suddenly

tell

myparentsabout

it?

t

V

. .,

FREUD. Whydoyou

think?

, .

...

DORA. doesn

'(

reply, but recites

in

a dreamy voice) WhenPapa

wasgetting

readyto

leave,ItoldhimIwasn'tgoing

to

stay

on

without

him.Why

did

Itell

mymother

whathadhappened,

so thatshe

could

repeat it

to my

father?

MR.

B.

Mr.

K.

hasalways

been

very

kind

to

mydaughter,ever

..

:

sinceour

two

familiesestablished

the

closefriendshipthat

haslasted nowformanyyears.Whenhewasthere,Mr. K

It .

wouldgo forwalkswithher.Withanalmostpaternal

affection.

Although

shewas

only

achild. Hegave

her

presents

f;

and

lookedafterher

with

an

almostpaternalaffection.Dora

herselfwasparticularlyattached

toour

friend's

two

young

children,

and

tookmarvellouscareof

them.

Shecouldhave

. .

taken

the

placeof

theirmother.Two

yearsago,

my

daughter

andI

wentto

visit the

K'sattheirsummerhomeon theshore

,". '.

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,

29

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3/21

of one of our mountain lakes.Dorawasto remainwith

themforseveralweeks.

DORA. I'm not staying,I'm leavingwithmy father .

MR. B. But the lake

and

themountain airwoulddo wondersfor

your nerves.I'm surethat inafewdays

DORA.

I'm

leaving

with you. Abruptly

threatening) I'llnever

forgiveyou!

MR. B. 1don't understandyou!

DORA. Youunderstandme,but you're not honest.There's

somethingdeceitful

about

you.Y

ou

think

only of your

ownsatisfaction.You

don't

understand.Iam not honest.

Ireproachmyselfforbeingunfair.Give me abracelet.

(pause)

My

fatheris agenerousman.

He

likes

to do

nice

thingsforpoor Mrs. K. Atthesametime,heis generous

towardhiswifeandhisdaughter.

My

fatherneverbuysa

pieceof jewelryforme without buyingone as wellfor my

mother

andforMrs.

K.

MR. B. Doraisstillachild,

and

Mr. K. treatsherlikeachild.He

wouldsendherflowers,hewouldbuy

her

littlegifts.She

waslikea mother

to

the children,sheheardtheirlessons,

she took walkswiththem.Theirown mother couldnot

havebeenmore tender

or

attentive to their needs.

DORA. IneverlovedMr. K.,Iwasnevercrazy about him.I

mighthavelovedhim,but sincethe scene

by

thelake,its

out of the

question.There

had

beentalk

of

divorcebetween

Mr. andMrs. K. Ilookedafter the children.Whenmyfather

visitedMrs. K.,1knew that thechildrenwouldn't be home.

Iliked

to

walkin

the

directionIknewthey had

taken

and

catchthemup.

MR. K. Dora is not achildanymore.

MRS.

K.

Dorais achild,whois interestedonlyinsex.Whenshe

stayedat

our

housebythelake,sheused

to

sneak

off

and

read

"The

Psychology

of

Love"

by

Montegazza,andother

suchthings,which excited her.Sheadores me. Shehasfaith

in me.She'sachildwhoarouses mixedemotions; you can't set

storebyeverythingshesays,herreadinggoes

to her

head.

MR.

B.

Shehasprobably "imagined" the wholescene

by

the lake.

DORA. Doyou hearhim'!

FREUD. Yes.

30

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If

DORA. Thereis adoor inViennathroughwhicheveryone

,\ may passexcept me.OftenIdream

that

I'vecome to this

door,anditopens,andIcangoin.Youngmenand young

womenare nooding through,and1could easilyslip into

thecrowds:

but

Idon't do

it.

howeverIcan't keepmyself

awayfrom this

door-forever,

Iapproachit,Ilingerin

t:

r

front

of

it,

but

I

don't

do

it.I

can't

bringmyself

to

go

throughit,Iamfull

of

memoriesanddespair,andthe ,:>0

J

strangething

is that

Icouldgothroughitbutsomething

is

g-c

,

holdingmeback,

I'm

beyond all fearbut I

don't

goin,if v)

) r-

I

don't

goin Idie,ifIwanted

to

see Mr.K., but ifPapa

c--;

sawme,

but

Idon't want to seehim,but ifPapasaw me see

himhewould kill me,Icould see himjust once,and that

wouldbe the lasttime.Then

MRS.

K. (with mocking laughter) I'vealwaystoldhim the whole

thingwaswrappedup.

DORA. Then

nothing.Nothingatall. .

As

soonas I

understood Mr.

K'sintentions,I

cut

himoff,I J

slappedhim,andIranaway.IranawayIslappedhimI

stopped

himshort.I

understood

what

he'd

said.

rW

THE VOICE

OF THE

PLAY. Thisinitial

account

maybecompared

' to

anunnavigablecurrent, acurrent whosecoursewould

(., nowbeobstructed byrocks,

and

nowdivided

by

sandbars.

FREUD. Ihappen to be acquaintedwithMr. K.Heisstillayoung

man,witha rather strikingappearance. Mr. B., the father,was

arefinedandwell-to-doman,a

tender

fatherandapatient

husband.Inever

knew

Dora'smother.The

father

wasvery

attached

to

hisdaughter.Eachtimehewasquestioned

about

herhealth,tearscame

to

hiseyes.

DORA.

My mother meansnothing

to

him.

MR.

B.

Youmusthaveimaginedit!Amanlike Mr. K. is incapable

of suchintentions!

DORA.

(beside herself) Imusthave

"imagined"

itt Hesaid

"You

know,mywifemeansnothing

to me." As

soon

as

Iunder

stoodwhathewasafter,Islappedhimandranaway.

his next

event

is

performed

on the side.

As soonas Mrs. K. had understood whatPapawanted.she

shuthim up, slappedhim,andranaway.Sheslappedhim.

Andyou, you, you saythat I"imagined" it Now choose

Choose

31

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4/21

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MR. B. (shouts) Stop shouting!

DORA. Her

or

me!

MR. K..

I

never made the slightest gesture

that

could be inter

preted in such a way.

For

a year 1sent her flowers, I treated

her like my own daughter. Mr. B., who

is

known for his

discretion where women are concerned, should be well

aware that my attentions

towards

his daughter had no

ulterior motive.

1 DORA. Answer me! Answer me!

DORA.

It

wasn't exactly on the shore

of the

lake.lt was in the

forest. 1 had understood Mr. K's intentions

for

quite some

time. During

our

walk, he had rolled a cigarette.

"

~

during which a

l a s h b a c ~ t-A

scene-DORA at age fourteen is c.

;

)_""':7.

performed by t ~ e door near rhe

c,

staircfjN

..

DORA.

lvery

morning when

I wake-

up,

I

smell smoke. It's always

0

the same.

I

don't

o p ~ n

my eyesk

I

sniff, and there he

IS.

,2..,:",;

DORA. When

I

went

into

the shop, there was a faint smell

of

smoke.

Mr. K.

was alone. Mrs.

K.

and my

mother

were

late. It was nearly time for

the

parade.

1(

FREUD. Where there's smoke,

there's

fire.

DORA.

Mr. K..

and my father were

both

heavy smokers. Like

you.

I

also smoked by

the

lake. He had rolled me a cigarette.

He smelled

of

smoke.

I can't

stand

the

smell

of

smoke.

FREUD. And?

~ 6 : ' : l ' ; " " " ' 1 1 " ' ' ' ' ' ' ... ~ .....I

C'

-;:.

r

Yemember

that

the

door that

led

DORA.

And

. . .

nothing. Just

that.

The door.

(

from

the

shop

to

the flat was

open,

and

I

smelt the smoke,

JORA.

I

can't

stand intimate conversations.

f '

and Mrs. K's perfume, mixed .: : : -

MR.

B. My daughter has had a chronic respiratory disturbance

together. When the parade was I since

the

age

of

eight. She has always been very nervous, I

just about

to

pass, he

a s k e ~

me \ very frail. At one time her health caused me a good deal

to wait for him

. . . . to

walt.

for him.

FREUD. Go on. Go on.

Go

on.

....

..

DORA. He asked me . . . .

To

wait for him, when it was

almost time,

.

ilence.

.,1:

I: f

FREUD. And?

DORA. There is a door. That leads

to

the stairway

to

the floor

(..

above; there. While he was lowering the shades,

I

waited for

.,

him. There was a smell

. . . .

that I recognized.

;;

" .

FREUD. Yes. And then ?

1f l . A ~ ' ? ...

CT.

I:.

;

S C

._

-

DORA. He came back, and then,

.

\.

and so, instead

of

going

out

the

open

door,

he drew me close

to

.

him, and he kissed me on the

"

, ~ I "

lips. And then

I

felt such an

intense disgust,

I

hated him

k fl.

with all my soul,

I

was revolted,

~ ~ j

tore myself away from hIm,

...

.

,.

violently,

I

can still feel

it

now,

t

I

i I

'.

)

,

:

'.,'

i

t,

t

.' r.'

.

,

... :,1

today.

I

felt it so intensely.

,.,--.

. .

~

I still feel

that

kiss, and the pressure

of

that embrace; his lips'

were very wet. Here,

on

my chest, and all the way through

to

my back.

I

ran in front

of

him,

I

brushed past him, past that

man.

1

tore

myself away from him,

I

raced,

I

looked back at him,

I raced towards the stairs,

brushing past

that

man

(I

thought, "I'm brushing past

this

man"),

toward the stairs, 1 1

-r

and, from there, toward the

t ~

door of the

house.--

' 'C

' - '

_

-A.'

...."",

...

r ~

)

/

32

\

3

en

'

of

concern.

.

FR

..

: EUD.

And her mother?

> . .

\

c

MR.

B. The relations between my

WIfe

and my daughter are

-

rather strained.

My

wife doesn't mean very much

to

me.

:..:

(

"""

Unfortunately. She is not an educated woman. She has no

understanding of her children's aspirations. Dora naturally

favoured me.

I

have been seriously

ill

myself.

I

have

......

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5/21

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little

doubt

that her feelings for me were increased by what I

DORA

leaves. Footsteps are heard

~ t J

went through.

\..?

on the staircase, running foot-

steps. She

stops

on the staircase.

~ : I

DORA. When he was ill, Mrs.

K.

supposedly saved his life. She has

an eternal right

to

his gratitude. When

I

was

ten

years

Old,

my

DORA. It's

dark here

....

I.

father had a detached retina. the doctors told him to stay in

: i

MR. K. (whispers)

Wait for me, let

me

lower

the

shades and then

. .; .

a darkened room.

I

liked

to

keep him company

in

the dark.

He

I'm yours.

l'

would hold me in his arms and kiss me.

I

myself

took

charge

i

,.

,

of

seeing that the curtains were always drawn.

DORA. (Dora whispers, a torrent o words. What is lnsaid, what

_ ~ ) is

lost, in the

body

between bodies) No point opening. It's

. ,

MR.

B.

The migraines and the attacks

of

nervous coughing

always open. I can open. Not open.

That

man had beautiful

f1

appeared when she was about twelve.

(l r e m e m b e r ~ e -

teeth, like a bracelet

of

pearls. I can ope n a bit. And why

i

;

"

,

it was at

that

time that my friend K. persuaded me to consult

wouldn't you

open?

That

which

is

open can be not open.

That

you). Th e coughing fits sometimes last

as

long

as

three or

~ . . . . . : ..

which has happened can have not happened.

four weeks. But what distresses

me

most are the spells

of

f "

aphonia.

MR. K.

Nothing is irrevocable.

Why

not?

~

, I

DORA. But their relations became intimate only after

Mrs. K.

took

DORA. (whispers) I still feel like I'm there. I have

trouble

over as sick nurse. breathing. I've already heard someone behind the door.

:' j

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L

Leaning with all his weight.

It

was a new sensation . . . (abrupt

My

mother

stayed

out of the room,

because she has no love

return to he r normal voice)

But-the thing

that didn't

happen.

,;1

J

for my father.

My

mother is a stupid woman

. j

FREUD. How did you know it was

a

man? Since he was behind the

, I

MR.B. What

I

feel for Mrs. K. is a deep and sincere affection.

door.

Dora, who

is

very close

to

me, felt a sort

of

idol worship for

;J

her. DORA. (whispers) Who was leaning against

the door

with all his

, I

weight. I felt his penis stiffen. Who told

you

that?

a

pause)

. i

DORA. Idol worship. I had never seen such a beautiful, elegant

It's

Mrs.

K. who told

me. While I combed her hair, she read

woman. How I loved to look at her! I drank in her every

,

books

to me that

no

one

has ever read.

f silence) ,..

movement! I

thought

she knew how

to

do

everything

that

t-.Ii (. ,

women are supposed to do. I loved

to

bring flowers into

She performs this to one side.

'- ' L --

, : , .)

him. One could wait,

if

one

.

t'

liked. I had seen him in a dream.'

:0

(shout directed at MR. B)

Everything! Do you hear?

---?>

'I

7

He was a gentle, attractive man

o

MR. B. (defends himself. very aggressively) An extremely nervous

-C-;'

who

didn't

take his eyes off

of

~

H

woman herself, Mrs. K. has in me her only friend. Given the

me. But

it

wasn't him.

Is

that

state

of

my health and the delicacy

of

her nature, it goes

him now, behind

the

door? One

without saying

that

all that exists between us is a very warm

never knows. I ope n

it jUst

a bit.

friendship. Dora's animosity is unfoun ded. Her irritability,

There's a ma n in the shadows.

Wl

her suicidal thoughts! She obviously gets all

that

from her

I

don't

see his head. He stoops

f

mother.

down. I understand what he's

after. I push back the door panel.

DORA. Why did I never tell this story to anyone?

, .

.

I have

no doubt

that he intends

t'.

FREUD. Except

to

me.

to

push the

door

open. And he

presses against the panel.

. i

I feel his erection. He leans.

t

1.1

r.:

35

34

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6/21

'"

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'

Toolate.He'sgoing

to

force T' /

norme.I'minahurry

to

get

r : ~

\"

openthe door.Hisdecision h a s . . - - ~ / :

there.I'mnotsureI'llmake

. '1

forcedit openalread},..,Atttnreeps

it,despitethefactthatmy d-

t'

me fromc1osing)e1he door

is

);

strengthis increasingevery ,

heavy,andI leanmyweight !

minute.

While

I'mholding

h i m ~ C c : l . .C 1,\ ' : '7

.S

I

!

'.

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!f

t

,

againstit.I squeezemyself

!

againstme,

I

tum him halfway

v ';;$. ..::. :;, . ...\ ..,

behindthepanel,

on

theleft.I

roundandIgrabhisheadfrom

smellsmoke.Howsimple

and

l ~

therear,myarmencircleshis

1':.

\l

mortalit all is

It's

Him

or

me!

foreheadandhisskullpresses

I'

~ - ; .

.'

Inthedarkness

I

amdark.The

I, r

' ) againstmychest; I holdhim

imaginaryfleshthatswellsthe

I.

!:1

. tightandslit his throat.The

_fi

", '

r: "

QD'

.;::,

doordisgustsme.Therewillbe

knifehasbecomeonewithmy

r

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amurder.It's alaw.That'sakey.

hand. Howhardit

is

tocut his

.........

(-L

oc' '-

Onewillhave to killtheother

.:k

t(

throat. I don't pushvery hard,

C ,- "

~ \ ~ ,

,,,v

whokillsthefirstwhowants

to

,,r--

because I'mholdinghimclose

to

~ ;

,

. )

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killwhowants

to

bekilled?I

\

me.1slithisthroat,Ipullthe

..

: ; ; , : > /

?

wantto killhim.He knowsit.

knifeacrossthewidth of his

'I 'i , .

I

. ,

J

He wantsto killme.

I

knowit.

neck;but I don't cut alltheway -('

. . . . . --- '

through

to the

back.Foralong 1-

A

moment

agoIwouldhave

timeafterward I stillfeel the , , ,

likedhimto killme.Whokills

Ii

resistance

of

histhroat.

As

t

e?

The

onewhokillsmeisthe

thoughIwerestilldoingit.I ,

Li1 oneI want.Ifeellike.Onecan

feelthedensity

of

thatresistance, I '

remainforalongtimewithout

~ :

I

I

wasusingmylefthand,and

I ,..-- I : .

moving,andthenonehas

to

.

move.Killme! Kill me!Killme!

pulledstraightacrossfromle ft

.toright,inasinglestroke. It ..' , .,

..

!

It's solong!That manwho's

takesalot

of

pressure,it'slike

- - - '

.

;'

behindthedoor,I don't see

.

him.He'satallman,he'sstill

.----'

openingatin. His suffering .

";;;;-

J

'\

makesme

ill. I

hadaterrible(

/'

young.BecauseI wanthim.He

w


7/21

I

21

DORA. Ian

immedia te stream associations in a very

low but

.

abrupt voice, with violent

outbursts

on the words

between

quotation marks)

I ll

write a letter

it will be

hesitant.

It will

Itj

i

start

with

these words:

"You

have killed me." And I'll write

"You, my

dear, have killed

me."

Then I ll

write another

letter

on very thin paper, tissue paper, that will

start

with these

words,

"That's

what

you wanted."

I ll leave it

ambiguous, for

l:

him to complete himself." Because I don't know what he

I

:

wanted. However, I'm "the on!!" who's dead. My body is

I

,

buried. In

the

forest. It's dark

there.

I have no voice.

FREUD. Tell me

about

the letter.

DORA. (almost inaudible) What letter?

.

'

MR. B. I found a letter

on

the desk. It was inside her desk. It said

that she couldn't bear to live anymore. "This is what you all

.

wanted," she said, and she told us goodbye. I didn't think she

would actually kill herself,

but

I was shocked. A few days later,

t

.

after an insignificant argument,

she

had a fainting spell, for

the

.v

t,.J

first

time.

That frightened me, of course.

I ,

r

DORA.

How

did

they

find

that

letter?

It

was

locked

inside

my

desk.

t .

FREUD. Is your desk locked?

p

DORA. I don't know. Does anyone besides me have a key?

FREUD. Who has

the

keys?

t:

MR. B. On her desk. It was a rough draft. I worried

about

it

Jnl'ticularly

after her

fainting spell.

,.

,

DORA.

lin a pained staccato voice) You

don't

love

me!

You

think

~ ; j .

.

I don't see through you? You're abandoning m e ~

You love her more than you love me! I

warrf'nothing

from you

f

.

do you

hear?

Nothing!

.

You make me sick

You

think you can buy me? You think

you

can sell me?

;' 1

he screams. MR. B. is afraid, and tries

to

stop her.

MR. B.

(in a hurried voice)

Dora, Dora, Dora, my dear, my love,

my sweet child

Come. Come now,

come.

f1

DORA. You have no idea how I despise

that

woman! When she's

dead, I'U marry you.

FREUD. What was the argument about?

t

r

MR.

B.

I

don't

remember anymore. I

had

just returned

from some

;'

38

f

t I I . I I f ' I r : ~ 1 I t ' r ~ ~

...

n'" . ~ ~ . ' ' ' ~ ' ' ' ~ ~ ~ ' ~ : 1 ~ : ' :

.

journey. She seemed tired. I remember I had just given her

a pearl

bracelet.

{:

DORA. At

one

time I

quite

liked jewelry,

but

[ never wear it

anymore. When I was living at the K's, she used

to

like

to

show me her jewelry. She loaned me her pearls, she told me

they were

more

becoming to me than they were to her.

]

.

FREUD. What was your attitude toward Mrs K. before the

incident?

I,

DORA. I don't know. Normal.

I'm sure that the jewelry my father gave me was chosen by'

;

her. I recognized her

taste.

My father bought me jewelry, ct::rr

especially pearls. Like the ones I saw

at

Mrs. K's

I

pause}

She used to say to me

. . .

When I was combing her hair.

Me. Standing behind her.

The whiteness . . . of her

body.

The

characters change places, as in a ballet.

(

"'JJ4.R.

K.

(in a voice

that

sounds as though it's coming over a

telephone) I am prepared

to

meet you face

to

face,

to

clear up

all these misunderstandings. Dora is nothing

but

a child as

far as

I'm

concerned. You

know

what respect I have for

you

and your daughter. Didn't

she

live in our house? And

in

the

greatest friendship

with

my wife?

MRS. K.

My

pet, you have no right to criticize your father's

behaviour; he

is

a very generous man. You know how much.

your father cares for you. He

can't

even speak to me about

you without tears coming into his eyes.

MR.

B. '"

every reason in the world, rather,

to

be grateful to

Mrs. K.

MR.

K. . . Always perfect confidence in her.

MR.

B.

A man like Mr. K. could not have presented any threat

to

her.

MRS.

K. He's a man with very coarse appetites: he

doesn't know

what a real woman is. Men are often like that: they think of

nothing but their own satisfaction. Not

your

father

Poor

man he was so unhappy at

that

point that he wanted

to

commit

suicide. I was seized with a premonition, I ran

to

the woods,

I found him. I pleaded with him. I managed to make him

renounce his terrible decision. To preserve him for his family.

,)nORA.

Always in white. Milky tulles. Crepe. I saw HER. The

39

2 - ; : - ' : : _ ~ W - j C ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ~ ' ' ' ' ' ' ~ ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' . . .

:


8/21

i

; "';

whitenessof herbody.especially

her

back.Afaintlustre:

..

. 1

pearly.

MR.K. Iampreparedto meetwithyou immediatelytoclearup

thismisunderstanding.Ayounggirlwhoreadssuchbooks

i '

cannotcommand therespectof aman.When shewas

I.

; d

I '

,

.

visitingus,mywifewentso faras

to

letDorashareher room.

And I deliberately kept myselfata distance,becausewe

t

thoughtDorawasbadlyin needof affection.

My

wifewas

astonishedat such curiosityin ayounggirl.

f:1

MRS.

K.

You

know

thatyou are free

to

tellmeeverything

and,

1-,.

askmeanything.There's

nothing

intheworld

thatI

feel

I

musthidefrom you.Thebrutality

of

certainpracticeshas

f I

totallyalienatedmefrommen.

DORA. Youareabsolutelyeverything.And1amnothing,nothing.

"

No

one.

Listen

to

me: IloveyouasthoughyouwereGod.

"

Someone.

Forwhom

I

don't

exist.

..\

Forwhom Iam living.

For

noone

b

.

In adoratiOn, in front

of MRS.K.

who, seated in front of her

mirror looks back at her with a long smile and an enigmatic and

, '

,

sinister serenity.

I

;

,

.

MR.B. Therehad

often

beentalkofdivorcebetweenMr. and

.

Mrs.

K.

It nevercame

to that,

because

Mr. K.

wasadevoted

father,andcouldn'tbringhimself

to

giveup

either

ofhis

;'::t

twochildren.

f

. , ~

MR.K. Eitherof my twochildren.

DORA: I wentto Dresden.

My

cousinwanted

to

takeme

to

the


9/21

\' :

.>.t

I i"I

DORA. lowe her everything.Icherishedher.

,

I

FREUD. Howcouldyou beattracted bythismanwhenyour

I ~ J

cherishedfriendspokeso iIIof him?

, 1

DORA. (standing beside MRS. K.) Sheis anintelligentwoman,

superiorto themen around her.Awoman

of

exquisite

beauty.Howwhiteyour backis! Andyour skin!Oh,God,

!,

t

1

:

Iloveyou!(A whisper,

nd

the very faint

sound

a kiss)

May

I?

Andhere,

too, just

above . . .

[ You

can't

imaginehow

much

Iloveyou. If Iwereaman,

r:

tA I'dmarryyou, I'dtakeyouawayandmarryyou, andI'd

h

knowhow to makeyou happy.

MRS. K. Dora!

,

DORA. (to FREUD) They

weren't

rightforeachother.

~

MR.

B. Iexpectanexplanation.

MR.

K.

Agirlwhodwellson suchthingscan't possiblycommandthe

\

respectof aman. ShereadMontegazza.Sheknowsmoreabout

.,,:

it thanyou

do/My

wifewassoastonished that sheventured to

tellmeabout it.'

DORA. Tellme more,tellme everything,everything. (With, leaning

:/

,

.

against MRS.K.)Everythingwomenknow:how

to

makejam,

how

to

makelove,how

to

make

up

theirfaces,how

to

make

"'

pastry,how to adopt babies,how

to

cookmeat,howto dress

I.

fowl.Iwatchedmygrandmothersdothese thingswhenIwas

small. But wouldIknowhow to

do

them?

I'llhave

to

learn.

Shetoldme that shehad thought alot about whatshewould

,.

do

ifshehadto choose

to

comeback

to

earthasaman

or

a

. ~ ~

woman.Shesaidshewassure,shewouldn't hesitate,it'swomen

I

whoruletheroost.Itoldmyselfthat Iwouldn't know,I've

thought alot about it,but Idon't know. Onwhichside.But

ifIwereaman, I'd know.ButI'dbeaman,quick-tempered.But

afterward?I'dbeamanWho's too gentle,maybeI'dbebrutal.

;4:

I'dbe

troubled, I'd

becowardly.

MRS.

K.

Patience,Patience! It'shardwork.Patience,mydear,it

willcomeintime.Witha

bit

of deception aswell.Oursexhas

to

learnitslesson.Draw the curtains.

t t ~

S ~ ~ n d curtains being drawn. Th en "DORA'svoice fades to a

r,

faraway whisper.

DORA.

It

lookslikeacave!Whereare you?

It

lookslikeacave;It's

'0/-

\c" me!

Me

insidemyself,intheshadow.Inyou.

(in a faraway

~ ' o i c e ) Sometimesthefull,sometimesthevoid,andalways

._

, .

....'

.....

,

,

. ,

.,"

.

darkness.Onemightcometo understandeverything.And

.

me someword

that

will makemebe bornagain.Feed me. Ia m ~ . ,'.;:,.. - ~ : 1 f

dead,dead!Idon't evenhave thest rength to desireanymore!

It....

F

Makesomethinghappen

to

me.

$

, ,

(

.'

.'

r

MR.

K.

Don't

beafraid. You

know

me,Dora. . i

,..-

,. I

DORA.

Yesterdayyou calledme "my

dear"

J C:::> '

'.

...

42

43

J

,.

- ......

":..x..:.:: ".. ,

,......

... .. ... fT

-r T : ~

t

_

I "

.. ... ......... .

-

...

~ . ~


10/21

I

MR. K. Come my dear,

don't

be afraid.

DORA. He had said to me, Come, I'll tell you your real name."

)

I wanted so badly for him

to

tell me!

I

MR. K. Come now, come, take my hand. What's stopping you?

.

DORA. He was calling me. I was unable to move. As though the world

were about

to

split

p ~

had

to

drag me. I wanted him

to

1

carry me off.

'f "

MR. K. You know me.

Don't you

know

you

can trust me? Don't close

j

up. Trust me.

DORA. I want to. I

don't

understand myself. I was so heavy. I

,

. ,

want

to

believe you,

Mr.

K. I do.

r . .

I ' , ,

MR.

K.

Yesterday you called me by

TlJY

rust name. You know

we

: 1

,don't

have much time . . . Dora.''fhat doesn't mean that nothing

is

possible., I have

one

word . . : .

DORA. Don't tell me anything. Anything at all. There's something

in,

..

j

your

voice

. . . .

i;

MR. K. What would I have

to

do? What haven't I done?

DORA. You talk

too

much.

It's

in

your

silences

that

I'd like

to

touch you. \0(-> '

--

: I fREUD.

And

you

thought,

I

know who

the

other

is . . . . n

I

:

t

DORA. I

don't

know.

:.

~ K'S

YOICE. As if'she feared the best. As if she deliberately

V ) went

off

alone, because she

didn't

want

to

be alone. Quite

the

contrary.

.

j

DORA.

to

FREUD) I dreamed he rejected me and I saw him for the

,

last time. He was saying

to

me,

I

have nothing against you. I

..

don't

take back' anything I said, I'm a man

of

my word,

didn't

I

keep my word, yes." And he said,

I 'm

not cross with you,

you

know me a

bit

. . .

and,

yes

it's

true, I knew him

better

than

ti1

anyone . . . and

I've thought

a great deal about it, and I'm .

I

making my decision as clear

to

,you

as

I've always made everything

1.1

else, and this

is

how

it

has

to be.

And the tears were streaming

;\

down my cheeks,

but

I was saying yes, yes,

you're

right.

And

then he said, I 'm taking back my pearls!" And he really did say

,:

that;

and also,

I

had given

you the

key

to

the

box

. . .

I'd like

it

back

now.

There was no use crying. with ali

the

crazy things

r.

he was saying. And I said, yes, yes

. . . as

though I wanted

to

,

die. But what key? .

MR.

K.

What key?

..

'.

,.

44

'\

i,. . "...

_ '::t.F.

..

t'I ft '&'

....

~ _

. .__. . . . . . ., . . ,

.......

, ~ ' , \ " " ' H . . , . . . . . . . .-::,q."......1'i t'

.

:..:.:!.....::!'..

FREUD. What box?

DORA., Some time previously,

Mr. K.

had given me a very

valuable jewelry box.

For

my birthday.

...t::REUD.

Good. And

the

key? '

MR K'S YOICE.

And suppose I had asked

her to

wait for me?

DORA. The afternoon following the excursion

to

the lake,

from which

Mr. K.

and I had returned home separately, I

was taking a little nap on the chaise longue in the bedroom.

I woke with a start.

rqA sudden noise.

What are

you

dOing here?

MR.

K.

It's my room, no

one is

going

to

tell me when I can be

here and w hen I can' t. Besides, 1 came

in

to get

som thing

I

DORA.

halting and painful)

I

g:>t up

quickly,

to

escape. I ran.

~ /

Then I dreamed I was runnmg. I could see myself running

on

a beach. The sand was so rough

that

it tore my feet. A /

woman

who

was taller and strong er than me was running beside \

\

me. Everything

about her

was

the

exact opposite from

IDe.

I '

called

her

dear

Mrs.

K.

She made me feel ashamed of mvself. In

every way, sne

was

aliI could have been. I

didn't

have

to

explain

anything to her. She was sublimely indifferent

to

my failures.

Going down. I felt I was drifting further

and

further away from

myself. Even I was abandoning myself.

iYFREUD's

VOICE.

As

if

she,

too,

were escaping.

To

keep from

arriving. To keep from dying, as well.

DORA.

Just then, I saw him again. There! ltwas Him! So far

away! But really only a few meters away. But

too

far. So far

from me. I knew very well

that one

day-

. . . .

FREUD's VOICE. To search for Him everywhere , from the

beginning

of

time. As

if

He existed. As if He were waiting only

for her.

For

her arrival,

to

disappear.

DORA.

There was

no

reason

to

hope. Everything keeps us apart.

He

said,

This

way, nothing

is

changed." And I couldn't wait

for him. Because here where I am, nothing is alive. I was in the

past.

FREUD'S VOICE. All

that

happeneo

to

her happened only

after

the

fact. She lived

on

memories. A prey

to

the past. Without

any hope

of

ever reaching anything

that

would be the present.

45

t

..... .

. _._.v..JIIIIl . . , . . , . - -. . ....,.,.

... ...

... F i I I I M . ~ ~

~ J I

. , ,

..

t.

..

r \ 1 I " f ~ i

j


11/21

, .

,;

' ; ~ 1

DORA. She urged me

to

live. She was unaware of

the

~ n o r m i t y

,

of

my

suffering. Which 1 can't even feel. I couldn't even cry

- j

out.

FREUD. Totally lost, between love and desire

DORA. When I

wanted

to shut myself in the

bedroom

in the after

noon

to

rest, there was

no

more

key.

I'm

certain

that

it was

Mr. K. who

took it away.

FREUD. Naturally 'one can't be indifferent as to whether a girl is

] 1

"open" or "closed". It's obvious which key would be used

to

.

"open" in such a case.

I '

DORA. I was "sure" you would say that!

> '

.

FREUD. Didn't you ever wish to give a prese nt to Mr.

K.

in

~ . \

return? That WOUldn't have been out

of

place.

DORA. Absolutely not. I've never thought of it. I didn't trust

I ,

him.

1

was afraid he would come into my room while I was

.

getting dressed

.

FREUD.

Into "his"

room?

DORA. Mrs.

K.

always left very early to take a walk with him. But

he didn't bother me again.

.1.:

.

FREUD.

Perhaps you regretted it?

DORA. Absolutely not. Besides, I had promised myself not to stay

I.. at the K's house without Papa. Because Papa was living at the

. , ~

hotel and he always went

out

in the morning, 1dressed very

quickly to

run

and meet him.

1.\

MR. K.

This

is my room.

There

is some mistake.

t 1

DORA.

There's

no mistake. You are in my house.

MR.K.


12/21

I smell smoke.

\.1 :

I . ~

,

t

ll

l

,l:

.

.

.. 1

,

.

..

. ;

\ :

'

,

j

','

.t J

.1

i

I

4

t

.

.

..

~ ~ . i

"

I .

: .'

:.

~ t :

,

:

,

, 4

i

-

i

"

.

.

..

.(>t_

,

... -

/ r

DORA.

FREUD. Tell me about the

smoke.

DORA. The smell of

smoke

came to me in the last dream. And in

the

other

dreams. ,/

FREUD. Yes. So?

DORA. There was always a smell of smoke. Like a sudden blow. I

woke with a start. And I had this same dream three times.

My

father is standing at the foot of my

bed,

and he wakes me up.

I'm asleep, but I see him.

There must

be a fire somewhere in .c

:

?

RA. May I take my shoes off?

11'--.

r . ~

I

l:t} .*1

~ E U D is silent. A sigh.

My foot hurts. Does my foot disturb you? Is it ugly?

(She

r

aughs)

Good, tell me something, and I'll do it, just

to

please

you.

FREUD Put

your

shoe back on and tell me a dream.

;11,.

.

55

.

. - - . . - ' ~ ... ....

Pk Y

+tJ._

.....:w _,, ....

r . f 1 ~ ;

I


16/21

I

L

,

.

t

f:

,

,

.

f

L

,

,.)

,; ,/

.,/,.J

,

'

.

. l

I

. ,

J ,

f

'..

,

.

It

1

I ;

11

"

.

...

;;

.\

DORA. Who was she?

FREUD. Who?

DORA. You know who I mean.

That

woman.

It's

not the first

time I've seen her leaving here. I see everything. You,

too,

have a fondness for secrets.

FREUD. No, she's a former patient; after her treatment she

remained a friend of the family.

DORA. Remained a friend of the family.

FREUD. Corne,

don't

be childish. Believe me. And tell

me your

dream.

DORA.

Don't

be childish.

MRS.

K.

Come. Tell me what you've been doing.

DORA. I have noth ing

to

tell you. I never

do

anything.

MRS.

K. .

Tell me something

about

yourself.

--> -:. ,.s:,

DORA. COUldn't

you

love me a little?

Just

a little?

1 '_;

MRS.

K.

Yes,

of

course I could love

you

a little. But what does

it mean,

love

DORA. You

don't

love me at all, then? Not at all?

MRS.

K.

It

never crosses my mind You

are

lovable Someone will

love you. I very much love all

that

you are. . .

c,

.:; ,

,,

I.:

DORA. There's nothing I can give you? There's nothing that you ~ l l . k

need from me?

MRS.

K.

I

don't

need anything, anyone.

That

doesn't

mean

that

you re

nothing.

OORA.

Then

you'll go

on

seeing me?

MRS. K. Why not?

DORA. One day, I would like

to

be lying beside

you.

Not

sitting-I

want

to

lie against

your

body. I close my eyes, and I see.

There would be blood all over. I would have blood

on

my

face.

,--'

MRS. K. How gory see

you

standing, quite alive, preparing for a

. \ .

Journey.

. . . \ ~ . .

. ,

OORA. And I see

you

dead. I would like

to

see

you

dead. And

none allowed

to touch

you. To see you.

MRS.

K.

A tenyear-old has

thoughts

like

that.

-...--._

56

, / /

/

DORA. A person

too

much in love has thoughts like that.

MRS.

K.

The most frightful the most desirable

Silence

-

ORA. 1 had a dream.

FREUD. Tell me

your

dream.

DORA. I dreamed

about

you.

She stops short)

FREUD. Tell me

your

dream.

/10

\

\.

\

/

/

DORA. What will you give me?

FREUD. smiling) Not a jewelry box. But my full attention .

DORA.

It's

strange,

1

see myself climbing the stairs that lead

to

your

flat.

I

ring

the

bell. You r former patient comes

to

the

door and says,

"Y


17/21


18/21

,

too

. ~ ,

j .'

f

, .. - '

.

.

walk around the lake as far as Linz, and I asked a passer-by

all

of

them

put

together. They prove it, in a cloud

of

smoke.

how much time it would take me.

He

said it would take .

When the smoke clears,

the

ghost

of

Dora-the-stronger-thanaU

two-and-a-half hours. I remember

another

detail: in my dream, ('

lifts her apron so as

to

make 8 sort

of

pouch,

into

which she

I saw

the "interior" of

the forest, as though my eyes could ' ,

gathers thousands of these tiny pearls. Then she holds the

pierce right through it.

From

far away, I saw flowers. . . .

i :

apron over an open briefcase, and spills the pearls inside

it.

beds

of

white flowers. Suddenly I

was

a woman.

r:

In the event

that

they should run

out of

ammunition. A young woman.

-

RS.

K.

What are you looking for?

ause:

-

~

DORA: The K's had a governess who did the same thing.

DORA.

From a distance I saw a huge bed

of

white flowers, Are

they forbidden? No.

FREUD. Ah! You've never mentione d

her to

me.

MRS.

K.

Those flowers are native, they grow all around here.

DORA. Her behaviour toward Mr.

K.

was very strange. She never

greeted him, never answered him, never passed anything

to

him

DORA.

How much time Would it take?

at

dinner; in

short,

she treated him as though he

didn't

exist

MRS.

K.

They're rather far. The flowerbed must be

at

least two

And he was

no

more civil

to

her. One

or

two days before the

kilometers away, over land.

scene at the lake, she told me

that

Mr.

K.

had begged her not

to refuse him anything; he had told her that his wife meant

DORA.

That's too

far. I

won't

bother.

nothing

to

him, etc.

. But I return ed in any case

to

the boat. Mrs. K. was aboard.

FREUD. But those are

the

words

MR.

K.

I beg

you

to

forgive me, and not

to

say anything about

----_._"

" what's happened.

DORA. Yes. Sl!ega ve in. Afterwa rd, he

didn't

give her a second thought.

and she started

to

hate him. !

iQ>ORA.

Suppose I told

your

wife?

-. o \ - ~ >

You offer me a cigarette. And I agree

to

postpone my

FREUD. What became

of

this girl?

/ i - : : ,

departure for twenty-four hours because you say

that

you'll

DORA. Alii know is

that

she left. .....\

\-.\

... ~ ~ ~ \ ~

help me tomorrow. Out of exhaustion r agree to spend the

night with you. You smoke

two

cigarettes. You have one in

FREUD.

If

he had disregarded it,

if

he had continued

to

pursue /

your

mouth

and one in

your

hand. You keep talking, nonstop.

her with a passion capable

of

winning her over, perhaps love! .

might have conquered all the obstacles?

t can't go on much longer. Besides, the cigarette is burning

down.

f;'

Besides, it

wouldn't

have been so hard

to

work

out.

Mrs.

K:O ' ~ : -

would have consented to a divorce; and as for

your

father,: '

..

L"._ ~ 1 : >

FREUD. insinuating voice One more puff!

you're able

to

get whatever

you

want from him.

,

.

I

.

DORA. Let's get it over with and

then

drop it!

DORA. Whatever I wanted? And what do

you

want?

"':"7

FREUD. insinuating

VOice

Suppose we went

on

a

journey?

DORA. I think Mr. K. was serious when he spoke to me.

/

DORA.

I

don't

have

the

strength

to

start all over again. I accepted

(

FREUD. Yes.

the cigarette

out of

exhaustion. But I am incapable

of

desire.

I can neither smoke

nor

travel anymore. Adieu! Adieu!

DORA. But [

didn't

let him finish.

Where

is

the station?

FREUD, Exactly what terms did he use?

FREUD.

Those flowers that grew in white rows beside the forest,

DORA. I don't remember any more. He said

to

me: you know

thal

two kilometres from where you

stood-were they

Iilies-of

my wife means nothing

to

me. And I

cut

him

off

right away.

the-valley?

MR. K. You know that my wife means nothing to me.

DORA.

And if the white flowers had been blue; would I have given

up? imitating her

mother s

voice For

shame,

they

say!

DORA. So as

not to

run into him again, I made up my mind to

61

0

_ooioooa

.

___

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19/21

b.

For shame!Dora, whatareyou doing?That's poison.That

..l

makesyougo mad!

-

; ; ~ .

: ; ~ O R A .

Where!

Is!

The!Station!(screams)

VOICEOF THEPLAY. WhatIily-of-the-vaUeysaysinadream

t

It\,

0

Mr.

K.sayswithajewelry

box.

....

Whatcanbesaidwithflowers

,

Papasayswithpearls

,

WhatDorahasn'tsaid

I

the Doctor sayswithsmoke.

!1

DORA. At last,atlast,Iarrived

at

the station.

, i

MR.K.There'sno train.Therailshave becncut.

Doyoumindmybeinghere?

I

DORA. Yes,ifyouwant

to know

the

truth.

~

MR.K. Is thisthelast timeI'llseeyou?

';'

DORA. (a furtive silence, like a long stare)

MR.K. Suchsilence,fromyou, who areusuallysofullof words!

J

1

FREUD. (in

Q

normal voice) Youknewthere

wouldn't

beatrain?

.

: ;

Noflowersfortheforest,

no

trainfor

the

station.It's

no

'/ .1

accident.There'ssomethingyoudon't wantto touch or catch.

'J

DORA. Iarriveat thestation.I'm alone.You

ha,d

insisted

that

Icome.

FREUD. This

trip to

Viennawould lastperhapssixmon ths.Or,

rather. nine.

. . ~

t.,.;

MR. K. My sweetlittleDora.youknow howmuchIcareforyou.

DORA. You'vetreatedme likeaservant.I'mleavingyou.Noone

:

willcome with me.Iam aloneina foreigncity. I lookat a

.I

I

painting

of

theMadonna.

No one

touchesme.Iwillnever

marry

.d

MRS. K. Youareavirgin,mylittleone.

FREUD. Andyouspenthourslookingatthisportrait?

,

.

'\

if

DORA. It's whitenesswassosoothing.

:

FREUD.

That's

what

you thought

of Mrs.

K.

,

r

DORA. No;

that's

me!

;.

p.,.::;.

_.'

.:;

dancemelody ).. I.)

l-,

,""

MRS.

K.

Why--;;:en'tyou dancing?

,

.

"

t"

62

j...

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r , ~

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...............

"

.. ....1} ~ ' - 7 . ' H : - ~ 3

\1

DORA. Shehadcomeintohermaturity.Buttheyearsseemed

4

d--

not to

touch her.Besides,shespent most of hertimeinbed.

MRS.

K. Youhavenodesire

to

havechildren?Butyoumother

my

childrensowell!Why

don't

youdance?

That's

whatI

like-gaiety, movement,vitality! You-you're alwaysso

serious.

DORA. It's true. No.Yes.

MRS. K. You'resoserious! You're too s e ~ I L h ~

DORA. Shepreachedto me,alwaysgood-naturedlY,It'strue

that [wasseriousandreserved.Shesaidto me,

"You're

such

aseriouschild." That's strange,isn'tit?Iaskedherquestions

about pregnancyandbirth.Sheliked to satisfymy

cUriosity.To talk tome

about

birthandvirginity,things

likethat.

' - - -

MRS.

K. You'resuchaseriouschild!

Too

serious.

Be

careful:You

mustknowwhere

to

stop.Can't youacceptyour limits?You

can't be amadonna.Youaretoo handsome,my littleman.

DORA. My littleman! Howstrange.

-:-;-

...r .-

MRS. K. Onefalsestepandyou'reover the edge.Listen: (Whispers)

You

don't

knowhow

to

live.

It's

rathercharming,though.Icouldbe your mother . . . .

Listen.

DORA.

WhatifIleapt

on

top of her'? Shook her?Beat her?She

doesn't

loveme.

If only

shecouldseeherself.I'm much

too

stUbbornforher to turnmyhead.Icouldturn againsther.

FREUD. Howdo youexplainthefact

that

you'vealwaysbeenso

generoustowar d Mrs. K,

your

slanders,whereasyouhoundthe

others withanalmostsinistervengeance?

DORA. Shehadslowandgentlemovements,whichIlovedvery

mUch. Once,alongtime ago,Ihadsprained my

foot

tripping

downthe stairs.

My

foot swelled,She had

to

bandageit.[had

to

stayinbedforafewweeks.Shekeptme

company

and

spoke to me as if Iwereherfriend.Sheconfidedinme.She

-_.

toldme that herhusband didn't

want

adivorcebecause

of

the

''0

children.

:11

FREUD. Didn't

youthinkadivorcewouldhavebeenthe bestthing

forallconcerned?

DORA. I'd hadacuriou sdream. Iwasrunning, myrightfoo t was

very sore.Ihad

to

sitdown.

My

anklewasswollen.I

couldn't

63

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20/21

P.

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f'f.

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n

If

,

'.-

------

moveanymore;Iwanted

to

talk

to

Dr.K andatthesametime

Iknewhewasn'treallya

doctor.

Iwanted to askhisadvice. I

askforhim

on

thephone.Finallyhecomes;and

it's

nothim,

it's

hiswife. Ifeelhe rpresenceover

the

phone,obscure,white,

insinuating

. . .

MRS.

K.

over the

phone)

Whoshall

I

sayiscalling?

DORA. Sheasks.Mrs K.,

I

say.

MRS.

K. on the phone)

Oh,indeed!

DORA.

in a modulated voice, without the slightest annoyance)

I know.Letmetalk

to

him!

MRS.K. Indeed!

DORA. Sheputshim

on

thephone.

He

tellsmehe can' t dovery

much.

I'll

have

to

waituntilnextyear.

I

laugh.He tellsme,

"You

know that

. . . . . ButIdon't lethimfinish. I hangup.

FREUD. Infact,you

don't

letthingsfinish. Yourankleswells.

Yougivebi rth. Nine

months after

thescene

at

thelake.So

despiteeverythingyoumanage

to

havea

"child"

byMr.

K.

Somethinghappenedduringthescene

at

thelake.

DORA. Nothinghappened!

FREUD. Precisely.

It

wasthere

that

youtookthat"false

step"

whoseconsequencesyouarestillsuffering.Youregrettedit.

Youstillregrettheoutcomeof

that

scene.

It's

notthe

Madonna youwanted

to

be.YourloveforMr.

K.

doesn't

stopatthat.

DORA

is

silent.

FREUD. Whydid

you

keephimfromgoingon?

DORA. Is

that

am

FREUD.

I'm

notdisappointedwiththeresults.

DORA. You'regivingbirth

to

amouse.

DORA. Do

you

inow,Doctor,that thisis mylasttimehere?

FREUD. You'reinformingme.

DORA. Yes,I

told

myselfIwould

try to

bepatient,but I

don't

want

to

wait

much

longerforthe

"cure".

FREUD. You

know you

arealwaysfree

to

stoptreatment.When

did

you

makethisdecision?

DORA. Twoweeksago,Ithink.

64

--_

_

......--

...

- ........-........,. ..........

.......

-.:....,:... - ~ ~

2

FREUD. Twoweeks? That' sthe noticeagovernessgivesbefore

quitting.

DORA. Areyoualone?Whereisyourwife?

This last time must

I

be extremely violent)

VOICEOFFREUD. Whetherornothewantedtocureherin his

,

owntime,orwhetherhe wanteditonlyonthisfirstday

of

4 /

January

1900,

hewill neverknow, andn orwillshe,and nor

will I. .

DORA. IfonlyIknewverysimplywhere

I

wasnow,in what

country.Imightbegin

to

believe.

.'

FREUD. Younevergavemethe chanceto finishexpressingmyself.

That'swhatyougot

out of your

tendency

to

hurt yourself. I've

.

,

neverseensuchviolence.

...

DORA. Today ismylasttimehere.

FREUD.

(doesn t

hide his panic) Youareavengingmethe way you

wouldhaveliked

to

avenge Mr. K. Andyouareabandoning )

e

the way he abandonedyou.

DORA. You

don't

understandanything.

That won't

stopyoufrom

J . ~

existing!Here'smy revenge:

I 'l l

go

"alone,"

I'll cure

"myself"

.

' k

AndI'vemadeupmymindto leaveonadate I'veset myself.

It

. ' 11 ,

hefirst

of

January

1900.

,r

I ,

FREUD. Listen.Yourdecision. . ,We haddecided....

. , ' ,

,

,,,

ORA. No.

l

)(

REUD. Youknow. ...

I

admit. .. " t,

Iamstup efied. ButIexpect edit. Neverdid Ireallydream. ... 'I

.

I

wouldhavesworn. . . ,Howwell

1

understand her! Toowell! ' .k'

~

MR. K. Ifound herbeautiful. She seemedlarger

to

me aswell. ,.

t

.;.,.,

DORA. Thisdesirestillthisdesire.Yes,

I [

~ : : - ; c (

, (

r

[:

Gs/ ::

'

REUD.

This

is

murderyou'recommitting.You'remurdering ;

1;

someoneelse:Whom

Ire . . .

(OORA'sPrenesmile stops him

~ , i . ; : : ; A . ";':>,' , '

short) Why didn't

you

tell me before? .

'r , ; c . ~ l ( ' . ; ~ ' ; : t \t

DORA,

Ishouldhavechosensome

other

date?Yes

. . .

You

c o u i a ~ ,

havehad

your

wifehere? 10

_)

FREUD. You'retryingto hurtsomeoneelsethroughme.-

DORA.

DearDoctor,

you

areanins titutio n.So respectthe will

thepointof view

of

apatientwhowishesyouwell.

? (,.) :-:-

:

i

;

,

65

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21/21

MR. B. I assure you, Doctor, my daughter will return.

.

FREUD. I assure you she will

not.

, . ~

DORA. Act as though I had never come. As though I were dead.

..

..

Do you deny ever having kissed me?

'

MR.

K.

No!

.

'

" .

.

DORA.

to

MRS.

K.)

I know

you

re haVing an affair wlth Papa.

..

FREUD. M a y b ~ you know

too

much about it? Or, in some way, _

not

enough?

i

:1

DORA. mockingly) And what if it were true? If I did know too / ~ :

I , , ~

much about it? I still know too much? A little bit more than

all of you?

~

FREUD. No. I'd say you didn't know enough.

DORA. Or maybe you love yourself a bit

too

much?

FREUD.

Think

carefully.

Don't

hurt yourself.

~ . ;

DORA. You make me laugh. But I have no desire

to

hurt

you.

/ , . ~

Because, you, Doctor I never would have loved you.

FREUD. I might have managed it. What takes my breath away is

this date, this first of January 1900, this single drop of time

i'l

that remains

to

me. I would need a lifetime, I could

I' .

DORA. stops him and lashes into him) You could push me,

,..1

throw

me downstairs? Propose a final meeting, meticulously

p l a n n e ~

.;, :

, ,

planned, with an air of relief at my departure? Letting me

;1

",

know,

at

the same time,

that you're

hiding your satisfaction?

You could tell me you're delighted with my decision. That

you were hoping for it.

That you'd

predicted it. Expected it.

That it's fulfilment of your greatest desire. You could-you

"

couldn't-beat me black and blue. I wouldn't put up a

..

struggle. You could slap me. I think we would

both

take a

certain pleasure in it.

~

FREUD. I would have taught

you

what I've learned from you.

with

great difficulty)

I would have liked to do something for

ti

11

you .

DORA. No one can do anything

.f'

j

FREUD. Let me know what

I'm doLllg

{he

makes

a slip the

1

,

tongue in such a way that

it

goes unnoticed} Write

to

me.

r. :

'.

,

DORA. Write?

That's not

my affair

.

ctS-

I

t.1

66

"

~ ,

l ~ - -

V I C ~ OF THE PLAY. May

1900.

Vienna. At a particularly busy

l I ~ t e r s e c t l o n , Dora saw

Mr. K.

struck by a carriage. She saw

m

~ a l l . It

was the most horrible day

of

her life.'

t

was

Hie

h a p ~ l e s t day of her life. She crossed the street without

~ a t t J n ~ an eyelash, lifting her elegant dress with her finger-

t l p ~ , shghtly

b a r i ~ g ~ e r

ankles.

It

was only a very minor

aCCident. On the inSide,

Mr. K.

was going through the

..

tortures

of

the damned'

but

hl's

0

t appearance was

..

u ward

shll qUite stnklng. He had seen Dora pass. There is no greater

..,.....

sorrow

than

the

~ e m o r y

of love. ) 1

And Freud knew

lt.

. -

THE END

.. ' ,

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cixous_portrait of dora

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