chunyan shao (shandong university). many places are wealth, but some other places are poverty. we...
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4-12 Paragraph Organization
Chunyan Shao (Shandong University)
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Problems with essay writing Many places are wealth, but some other
places are poverty. We can improve the level of our country. The teachers’ help are very important.
Without the teachers’ help, the students may not be finishing their homework.
It is very convenient for students to studying at school.
The experience of learning at school are very useful for our future lives.
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There are some beniftis of studying at school.
Students learning at school cannot connect with society.
They connect the society very little. Learning by watch TV is good. This will affect their whole life. If a student stayed at home, he/she would
lost the choice to make friends. I think what a student should learn not only
knowledge but also communicative skills.
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The traditional education has lasted for many years.
For most student, the way of education should be traditional one.
Children might lose the chance to discuss the difficult problems in studying with teachers face to face.
I prefer to studying at schools. If the students are all low level…,
you know.
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The communicate ability Learning from the television or computer Computer and television cannot instead
traditional learning. As the internet is developing… So, I think it is important. They don’t only learn knowledge at school, they
also make friends… I know two friends. One studied at home, other
studied at school. One studying at home got good career.
Although it is good, but it is …
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We can talk about any questions. If studying at home, they will not
have time to play with fellow students.
They will cannot learn from fellow students.
The pupils know how to care about others.
They are used to this form of studying.
They can help students immediately.
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A student is very difficult to apply theory into practice.
Informations Learning in traditional schools are
good for major students. Learning at school has a lot of
advantages, such as you can ask your teachers questions.
Studying from teachers and learn from fellow students is good for me.
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Traditional school is unreplaced. Students interact to each other. They know good groups can do things
better and has more successful. It is convenient that students study in
home. I would prefer studying at home rather than
this new way. They can learn a lot of knowledges. They can make good friends in their
classmates.
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There are two sounds about this idea.
Traditional education helps students grow up completely.
Children go to school not only learn knowledge, but also learn how to make friends.
The internet can do harmful to students.
It causes many healthy problems. First and second person
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What is a good paragraph?
A good paragraph has three parts: Topic sentence Concluding sentence Developing/supporting sentence A good paragraph has two elements Unity coherence
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Topic sentence
controlling ideas complete sentence not too general, not too narrow usually the first sentence state the main idea but not the details Which of the followings are better topics?
*American food is terrible *American food is tasteless and greasy because of
canned, frozen, and prepackaged foods * American food is tasteless and greasy * I love city life * Cities attract me for their colorful cultural activities
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Developing sentence
Description Exemplification Effect-cause Cause-to-effect Comparison &contrast Classification… Public behaviour of sports figures is a poor
example for our youth. Q: Why do you say that? What is your evidence? Name some examples to prove your
points.
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Unity
Every good paragraph has unity, which means that in each paragraph, only one idea is discussed. If you start to discuss a new idea, start a new paragraph. Furthermore, every supporting sentence in the paragraph must be directly related to the main idea.
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Exercise: Anything wrong? Progress is gradually being made in the fight
against cancer. In the early 1990s, few cancer patients had any hope for long term survival. But because of advances in medical technology, progress has been made so that currently one in three cancer patients survived. It has been proven that smoking is a direct cause of lung cancer. However the battle has not been won. Although cures for some forms of cancer has been discovered, other forms of cancer are still increasing. Heart disease is also increasing.
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Coherence
In order to have coherence in writing, the movement from one sentence to the next must be logical and smooth ,there must be no sudden jumps.
Transitional signals
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表示对照比较的过渡词:
Contrast: on the contrary, on the other hand, despite, yet, unlike, in contrast, however, different from, in spite of, although, but, whereas, nevertheless, instead, while, still, otherwise, conversely, , even so.
Compare: equally important, accordingly, like, like wise, in the same way, similarly, meanwhile, at the same time
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表示因果关系的过渡词:
because of, because, for, for this reason, since, as, due to, owing to, thanks to,
on this account, on that account, therefore, as a result, consequently, Accordingly, so, hence, thus, in this way, otherwise
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表示让步的过渡词:
even though, after all, although, clearly, it is true that, admittedly
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表示例举的过渡词:
for example, for instance, for one thing, to illustrate, as an illustration, a case in point, namely, that is
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表示强调的过渡词:
naturally, obviously, clearly, of course, in fact, as a matter of fact, actually, certainly, indeed, above all, first of all, surely, no doubt
in particular, that is to say, in this case
any way, in any case, on no account,
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表示递进的过渡词:
furthermore, moreover, besides, also, in addition, too, like wise,
what’s more, not only … but also…
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Explanation paragraph
In an explanation paragraph, you explain how or why something happens or has happened. You need to explain different causes and effects. You should organize the paragraph by explaining each individual cause or effect.
Write a paragraph explaining why so many Europeans moved to Canada during the nineteenth century.
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Words that help: CAUSE
Because Since Is due to As a result of Because of As, Owing to Thanks to,
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Words that help: EFFECT
Therefore Thus Hence Consequently It follows that If…then As a result For this reason
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Examples
As a result of People moved to Canada from Europe as a
result of poor living conditions in Europe. because
People moved to Canada from Europe during the nineteenth century because they had poor living conditions in Europe.
Since / As Since/As living conditions in Europe were terrible, many people moved to Canada.
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Due to The large influx of people to
Canada was due to economic pressures in Europe.
Thanks to/Owing to Thanks to/Owing to economic
pressures in Europe, many people moved to Canada for a better life.
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Therefore / For this reason Living conditions in Europe were terrible. Therefore/For this reason, many people moved to Canada for a better life.
thus Living conditions in Europe were terrible. Thus, many people moved to Canada for a better life.
consequentlyLiving conditions were terrible in Europe. Consequently, many people moved to Canada.
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hence Living conditions were terrible in Europe. Hence, many people moved to Canada.
it follows that Living conditions were terrible in Europe. It follows that many people moved to Canada.
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If …then If living conditions were better in
Europe, then fewer people would have moved to Canada.
As a result Living conditions were terrible in
Europe. As a result, many people moved to Canada.
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Girls don't do as well in math and science as boys. There are several reasons for this. The first and most important reason is that they aren't encouraged to play with toys that build skills for problem solving or understanding how things work. Girls are encouraged to play with toys that foster language and human relations skills. Therefore, they can grow up not knowing how an engine works or how to build a model from directions.
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Second, studies have shown that teachers don't expect girls to be good at math. Even female math and science teachers pay more attention to boys in class and call on boys more often. Because teachers don't expect girls to excel, they don't try very hard, and soon girls are far behind boys in these studies.
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Finally, girls don't have many role models to look up to. Not very many math and science teachers are women, especially in the later grades. When the media picture mathematicians and scientists, they usually picture men. As a result, girls aren't inspired to choose these fields as careers.
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In summary, several factors work together in the home, in schools, and in the society at large to send a subtle message to girls. Girls almost always get the message; consequently, few girls excel in math and sciences.
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Exercises
In what follows, there is one sentence that contains a cause. Write one or two sentences that describe effects that result from each cause. Here is an example.
CAUSE: Nitrogen oxide from car exhaust causes
problems. EFFECTS: One effect is that air pollution is
produced by car exhaust. Car exhaust results in acid rain as well.
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CAUSE: Tourism may lead to many problems for local people.
EFFECTS:_____ CAUSE: Because of today's computers we
can do many things. EFFECTS:_____ CAUSE: Exercises have many positive
effects. EFFECTS:_____
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