chivas the evolution of friendship

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THE EVOLUTIONOF FRIENDSHIP: A report on men and friendship in the 21st century

Commissioned by



BUG

Bug is a London-based team of writers andbusiness thinkers that tracks new trends andemerging cultural developments from around the world.

REPORT AUTHORS

Stephen Armstrong Richard BensonGareth CoombsEkow Eshun

Copyright © 2012 Chivas Regal

ABOUT CHIVAS REGAL

Chivas Regal is a truly global brand, selling4.9 million 9L cases annually in more than 150countries across Europe, Asia Pacific and Ameri-cas. The Chivas Regal range of whiskies is theepitome of style, substance and exclusivity andincludes Chivas Regal 12, 18 and 25 Year Old.

About ‘Here’s to Real Friends’The Evolution of Friendship was inspired by two short films about friendship, ‘Here’s toTwinkle’ and ‘Here’s to Big Bear’, created byChivas Regal and Academy Award® winning shortfilmmaker Joachim Back for ‘Here’s to RealFriends’, the latest instalment of the ‘Live withChivalry’ campaign.

FOREWORD 1

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY 1

INTRODUCTION 2

1. THE NEW FRIENDSHIP: ITS EVOLUTION AND MEANING 3

2. THE NEW FRIENDSHIP: ITS IMPACT ON HOW WE LIVE AND WORK 10

3. THE NEW FRIENDSHIP: GROUP DYNAMICS AMONG MEN 15

4. CONCLUSION: THE FUTURE OF FRIENDSHIP 23

CONTRIBUTORS 26

NOTES AND REFERENCES 27

CONTENTS

The two cinematic films focus on the tribulations and idiosyncrasies of moderfriendships. Taking the audience through ups, breakdowns and good times, Back his trademark comic sensibility to celebrastories that bind real friends together. For further information:Visit:http://www.facebook.com/ChivasReg

http://www.facebook.com/ChivasRegal

http://www.facebook.com/ChivasRegal



EVOLUTION OF FRIEND

Understanding Modern Men and Their Friendships

Chivas Regal, the world’s original luxury Scotchwhisky, was created by brothers James and JohnChivas as a well-balanced and smooth blend,perfect for sharing with friends. From thesehumble beginnings in Aberdeen, Chivas hasgone on to become a truly global brand but thespirit of generosity, friendship and brotherhoodinstilled by our founders remains the same. Andas the whisky of choice for generations of men,we’ve been privileged to observe how friendshipbetween men and the occasions that they cel-ebrate over a glass of Chivas have evolved andchanged over time.

We have published this report to explore these changes further and to gain insight intohow friendship shapes the lives of men today.

While we’ve all experienced just how important friendships can be, to really understandhow these relationships enrich the lives of menaround the world, we’ve partnered with Bug, aLondon-based group of writers, business ana-lysts and cultural experts.

The following report is an articulation of themodern sense of brotherhood, the contemporaryman and how his relationships shape him andcontribute to his successes in life.

James Slack

Global Brand DirectorChivas Regal

FOREWORD

This report examines the rise of the “New Friend-ship” among men, an emergent era in whichdeeply felt friendships are becoming increas-ingly important for men as a source of emotionalenrichment and practical support.

The report is divided into three parts,exploring, firstly, the evolution of the NewFriendship, secondly, its impact on the workingand personal lives of men, and finally, the groupdynamics and body language of men in close-knit friendship groups.

The report was developed through researchand analysis, interviews with key experts, aca-demics and commentators, and group interviewsconducted in major cities around the world.Through our work, a number of key findings haveemerged.

The era of the New Friendship has arisen be-cause of powerful social, economic and techno-logical changes taking places across the world.These are causing men to look to their friends forincreasing amounts of advice and support.

The New Friendship is characterised by threekey elements:• Emotional openness – a more

engaged, open attitude to friendshipand social connection

• Trust and respect – an emphasison trust, mutual respect andgentlemanly, chivalrous behaviour

• A balanced attitude to success – arecognition that success in life is basednot just on material reward, but also onpersonal fulfilment and close friendshipsThe New Friendship has wide-ranging impli-

cations for the way men live and work today. Weexamine key aspects of life in which it is makingan impact, including:• Business – strong ties of friendship

are becoming a vital resource forentrepreneurs and start-up businesses

• Well-being – friendship is a key elementin living a longer, happier life

• Social media – men have “highvalue networks” based on quality, notquantity, of online relationships

This report also finds that close-kniship groups among men can be broken darchetypes, or the roles that men play group. By identifying these, we can forand telling picture of the dynamic withinWe can understand a man’s physical behis emotional and psychological state, status within the group. By looking at act within a group, we can better undwho they are as individuals.

Through considering those findinconclude that, for men in the early 2 tury, making time for friends is more i than ever.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY



2 EVOLUTION OF FRIENDSHIP

In the early years of the 21st century, friendshipbetween men is evolving to meet new needsand expectations. This is happening at a time ofsignificant social change around the world. Wesee this in the way friends can replace family fornewly urbanised men in nations such as Chinaand India; in the rise of the “bromance” movie;in the phenomenal popularity of social media;and in the growing body of scientific research that shows the benefits strong friendships haveon our income, health and well-being.

This report will examine the rise of the “NewFriendship” – an emergent era we have identified

in which deeply felt friendships are becomingmore important for men as sources of emotionalenrichment and practical support. We will de-scribe how and why this development is happen-ing, consider its various effects, and look at itsimplications for the future.

To create this report, we conducted desk re-search and interviews with key experts, academ-ics and commentators. We also talked to groupsof men in major cities around the world – NewYork, Shanghai, London, Moscow, Mexico Cityand São Paolo1 – to understand the differentways that men value friendship today.

In the era of the New Friendship, men arediscovering that true fulfilment comes frombalance in life. On one hand, material rewardremains important. But so too are the bondsof trust and honesty that men build with theirfriends. Modern men are aspiring not just tohave more, but also tobe more. All the groupswe spoke to agreed that their friends were essential to their lives, and that this was truer for them than it had been for their fathers. An increasingnumber of thinkers and researchers also believe that the subject of men and friendship is now a topic that demands greater attention. As the

sociologist Ray Pahl has written, “Friendsure to grow in social and political impoas traditional forms of social glue decliare modified.”2

This report draws together findings experts and researchers, along with ouranalysis and the contributions from our ingroups. It is structured in three parts:

Part 1 –The New Friendship: Itsevolution and meaning

Part 2 – The New Friendship: Itsimpact on how we live and work

Part 3 – The New Friendship:Group dynamics among men

“Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if youhaven’t learned the meaningof friendship, you reallyhaven’t learned anything”Muhammad Ali

INTRODUCTION



EVOLUTION OF FRIEND

INTRODUCTIONCan a concept so fundamental to life as “friend-ship” be said to “change” or “evolve”? It is ofcourse true that men have always shared friend-ships based on trust and mutual affection. But as the examples in the A Brief History of Friendship panel show (see page 9), those relationshipscan be affected by changes in work patterns, technology, politics or a myriad of other factors.During the interviews we conducted with groupsof men internationally, men who had grown upin countries such as China and Russia described the ways in which political change has had animpact on their personal lives and friendships.

“In Soviet times, friendships were much edgierand much deeper,” says Nadir A, a Moscow busi-nessman. “The KGB would try and get people toinform on their friends. Many people in the 1970shad to betray people to get out of the country,or to get a promotion, and in that context realfriendship was very important.”

More widely, anyone who has reconnectedwith old friends using social media has directexperience of the nature of friendship beingaffected by new technology.

These social and technological changes are the catalyst for the era of New Friendship emerg-ing. For many men today, it has become important to forge deep, meaningful relationships witha core group of friends. These friendships are away to filter and better understand a complexworld and they are a fulcrum upon which menbase important decisions about their workinglives and moral choices. In this respect, friend-ship, and forging emotional and social connec-

tions, are counterweights to the pursuit rial reward. Men are seeking a deeper qlife and one of their significant routes ifriendship. It is this attitude shift that defined as the era of the New Friendshimen. It is characterised by three key eleEmotional openness – a more engaged, oattitude to friendship and social connectTrust and respect – an emphasis on trust, mutual respect and gentlemanly“chivalrous” behaviourA balanced attitude to success – arecognition that success in life is basednot just on material reward, but also onpersonal fulfilment and close friendship

We will explore each of these elbelow. But before doing so, we wilbriefly how male friendship has developrevious decades.

THE NEW FRIENDSHIP: ITSEVOLUTION AND MEANING

In Part 1, we describe the rise of the emergent era of New Friendship amongmen and explore its three key elements: emotional openness among men,an emphasis on trust and respect and a balanced attitude to success.

“The KGB would try and get people to inform on their friends.Many people in the 1970s hadto betray people to get out of thecountry, or to get a promotion,and in that context real friendship was very important”Nadir A, Moscow




EVOLUTION OF THE NEW FRIENDSHIP

To understand the rise of the New Friendship, it isuseful to examine dominant models of masculin-ity and personal relationships from previous eras.

The ideal of the successful man as individuallone wolf (see page 9, A Brief History of Friend-ship) was adopted by American culture in theearly 20th century, at a time when the US wassetting the template for many cultures andsocieties across the world. These men, typifiedby heroes in Hollywood adventure movies, hadlittle interest in friends other than as a means to an end. It was this attitude that became theeveryday ideal for men in America’s mid-centurygolden years.

In 1936, Dale Carnegie famously developed this notion into a whole worldview, in his best-selling bookHow To Win Friends And InfluencePeople. It clearly haunted Arthur Miller’s era-defining playDeath of a Salesman and informed the new sociological approach known as socialexchange theory, which assumed that socialrelationships were driven by the search forpersonal reward.

This version of manhood also had counter-parts around the world in, for example, the sala-ryman of Japan or the straight-laced German geschäftsmann of the 1950s. It remained theprimary model for male behaviour through theremainder of the 20th century. In such circum-stances, men would often let old friendships

expire under the demands of work and parent-hood. “If you ask lots of older men about theirclose male friendships they will say, ‘I don’t haveany friends,’” says anthropologist Matthew deAbuitha. “For my father’s generation, any friend-ship or interaction would be to do with accessingmore resources.”

In today’s world, friendship is playing anincreasingly important role in men’s lives. Thisdevelopment is being triggered by the collapseof the certainties that once defined male socialstanding. It is no longer the case that men canlook forward to a steady arc of progress through their lives, from building a career to raising afamily and retiring on a comfortable pension.The dawning of the 21st century has brought aunique set of challenges. The global economy ismore connected than ever before, exacerbatinginstability in national economies1. The density ofdigital information we access every day is makingus more stressed and less productive2. Accord-ing to business-research firm Basex, informationoverload costs the US economy $900 billion ayear3. In addition, more people are living in cities than the countryside for the first time in humanhistory4, leading to the break up of old ties offamily and support networks.

Michael Kimmel, professor of sociology atState University of New York and an influentialauthority on the study of masculinity, has argued

One of the clearest ways to trace the shift frombuttoned-up, mid-century man to the moreemotionally engaged era of the New Friendship isby observing how depictions of male friendship hchanged in Hollywood movies over the decades.

“There have always been buddy movies in the fof war pictures, where men form close bonds, risklives to protect their fellow soldiers and show emwhen their buddy dies. But maybe Hollywood, anextension society, needed the alibi of war to prese that extreme level of male bonding,” says Charlesa lm critic forBBC TV,Variety andThe Guardian.Today, says Gant, male friendship is depicted muc

more openly in bromance movies such asSuperbad, TheHangover andWedding Crashers. In these lms, malebonding is no longer covert and inferred, as it wamovies from earlier periods. It is now the main suof such movies. “The Hangover is very popular becaunot despite, the fact it’s about the affection, trust loyalty that these guys have for each other: they s together in the most challenging of circumstances

BUDDY MOVIES TOBROMANCE: MALEFRIENDSHIP IN FILM



EVOLUTION OF FRIEND

that the model of manhood that prevailed in the20th century now needs to take account of thesemyriad challenges. “We need a new definition ofmasculinity for a new century,” Kimmel has said.“A definition that is more about the characterof men’s hearts and souls than about the size of their biceps or their wallets.”5

At the core of this redefinition is the increas-ingly important role that friendship is playing inmen’s lives.

ELEMENTS OF THE NEW FRIENDSHIP

We will now turn to the three elements of NewFriendship defined earlier in order to describe thechanges taking place in relationships betweenmen in the early 21st century.

EMOTIONAL OPENNESSAre women more caring and emotionally open than men? For many decades the answer hasbeen assumed to be yes. Women have beendescribed as better communicators than menand naturally more empathic, talkative andsharing. By comparison, men are taciturn, phleg-matic and emotionally guarded. This view, thatmen and women “speak different languages”has been perpetuated by bestselling books suchas John Gray’sMen Are From Mars, Women AreFrom Venus and Deborah Tannen’sYou Just Don’tUnderstand, and considered by many to be anundeniable fact. But fresh research is finding that, if this idea was ever true, it is no longer anaccurate description of how men behave today.

In an authoritative review of a large numberof studies into gender differences in communication, Janet S Hyde, Professor of Psychology andWomen’s Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, found that the distinctions betweenhow men and women talked and shared werenegligible6. What Hyde proved was that men today are talking with the fluency and emotionalopenness long thought to be the exclusive pre-serve of women.

David Hopper, of strategic research agencyH2, has conducted interviews with thousands ofmen around the world while carrying out brandresearch for clients. One of the most significantchanges he has observed globally in the last 20years is that “male chauvinism as a desirablequality has declined in upscale males. This has

created room for a broader definition of malefriendships amongst enlightened groups, whichare experiencing much more emotionally intel-ligent levels of friendship.”

Sam Buckley of research agency Firefishshares this view: “There are a lot of socialchanges that make it harder for men to knowhow to be a man. They are still expected to bestrong and successful but also have to bolt-on,additional skills, like being caring and kind –and unquestionably they are looking to a smallgroup of trusted friends to help them with thesechallenges through guidance, support and emotional closeness.”

This is corroborated by the interviews we con-ducted with groups of men internationally. “Menhave changed a lot,” says Edmundo C, a journal-ist from São Paolo. “We’ve stayed quite macho,quite tough, but I think men cry more easily andI think a man will open up more and reveal hisweaknesses and talk about stuff that my dad’sfriends wouldn’t. Our age group is a lot moreopen and will talk about sexual problems andrelationship problems.”

Felix Economakis is a London-based psy-chologist who writes about relationships forpublications such asThe Huffington Post and haspresented TV series, includingBBC TV’sPanicRoom. “Today, you can see that male friendshipscan be very, very deep,” he says. “I see quite a lotof young men who aren’t afraid to say, ‘I had anargument and I burst into tears’ or, ‘He’s my bestfriend and I love him’.”

This development has largely gone unnoticed.This is partly due to the persistence of the beliefsabout gender difference. But it is also because theways men and women express emotion aredifferent, even when the feeling behind theirwords is the same.

Banter and duelling “One of the main vehicles for friendship evolv-ing is self disclosure, and women are muchbetter at talking about their lives and sharinginformation,” says business psychologist AlanRedman. Research suggests that, rather thandirectly addressing an emotional issue, men willapproach it obliquely, often within a string ofrepartee that is turned either on themselves oraimed at their friends.

“In the midst of a stream of gags you might

In almost every army in the world, the basic una reteam – four or ve men who train together,know each other and watch each other’s backsIn the modern world, men are now moving inemotional reteams. Most of the men we spoke to internationally in interviews had a core grouroughly ve friends they spoke to every week orother week by e-mail, phone, Skype or in perso

“These people are family,” says Martin F, abusiness owner from São Paolo. “The people thI would go for a drink with, once in a while, toabout business, about life, the kind of things yomay not want your real family to make a big fuabout.” What de nes those emotional reteams ian ability to come together and ful l different ro(see Archetypes and Body Language, Part 3) an the openness and trust shared between them.

Our research, and fresh thinking from expertand academics, is nding that men facing thecomplexities of the modern world are lookingmore than ever to such core groups of friends fsupport, guidance and emotional connection.As Sam Buckley of research agency Fire sh say“Friends are being used to bring comfort andstability in a world of change and challenge.”

FIRETEAM FRIENDSHIPS




hear, ‘Dude, she left me.’ You might think it wasmore banter, when really it was a confession andsharing,” says Greg Williams, Executive Editor ofWired magazine. Read between the lines of maleparrying and there is as much pain and laughteras the most intense female tête-à-tête. John CLocke, Professor of Linguistics at City Universityof New York, argues that male banter is a formof “duelling” – in parrying and feinting with eachother, men are competing for status, but theyare also bonding closely by establishing a sharedlanguage in which anything can be said7.

The degree to which this works varies acrosscountries and regions, but there is a fundamentalglobal truth, which is that all men banter.

“Making jokes is a very typical Chineseway with good friends,” says Ni B, MD of aproduction company in Shanghai. “Sometimeswe just bullshit each other – which really means that we are very close, because if guys are be-ing too polite with each other, you know they arenot close.”

“Conversation kicks off based on humour,whether it is making fun of what someone iswearing, or who they’re with, or their back-ground”, says Charles HD, a banker from NewYork. “I think that’s a telling sign of just howgood a friend you are or how close that group is.”

TRUST AND RESPECTIn looking to their friends for a greater degreeof emotional connection and support, men arealso placing a renewed importance on values ofhonour, trust and respect.

Taylor D, from New York, says that he isbound to his closest friends by a code of “trust-worthiness and loyalty.” Charles HB shares asimilar sentiment. “Trust is number one, abso-

lutely key, it cuts through all the other bullshit.Trust in terms of confiding, discussing, giving yourviews and opinions whilst feeling safe it won’t bepassed on… trust is paramount to everything.”

The increased reliance on bonds of comrade-ship and loyalty that men are establishing witheach other is being triggered by long-term trendsin social and economic conditions.

They are also caused by a declining belief inpolitics and public institutions. According to the2012 Edelman Trust Barometer8, which surveyedattitudes in 25 countries, global trust in govern-ment fell by 9% in 2011.

As our faith in politicians and other publicfigures declines, the trust we place in our cir-cle of friends grows, and the more important itbecomes that the members of that group hon-our and respect each other. Men are using theirclosest, most trusted friends to work out theright values to live by. “At a time when financialinstitutions seem to be failing, and politicians areseen as corrupt or incompetent, men are looking to their friends, rather than authority figures,as a moral compass to decide how to be ethi-cally sound,” says social anthropologist Dr JamesStaples of Brunel University9.

Codes of chivalryThis is leading to the development of a moreovert insistence on gentlemanly conduct, orwhat might be described as a renewed code ofchivalry between men. “Communication at adeeper emotional level is becoming more im-portant to upscale men,” says David Hopper ofresearch consultancy H2 Partners. “As a resultof this, they are thinking more deeply about the nature and importance of friendships than their father’s generation did. This leads to more thoughtful behaviour around friendships, an ex-pectation that you will do more for your friendsand they will reciprocate. That in itself leads tomore chivalrous and generous behaviour.”

Interest in chivalry and comradeship amongmen has spurred the global growth of websitesoffering information and advice on how to liveaccording to gentlemanly standards of honesty, trust and fair play. These include Today’s Gen- tleman10 from Australia, America’s Art of Manli-ness11 and Chivalry Today12 and the UK’s ModernGentleman13. The development of such sitesis indicative of a broad international focus on

chivalry, but David Hopper stresses that nof chivalry are expressed differently acroworld. “In Moscow chivalry might be goinwire for a friend; in Brazil it might be not swith his girlfriend.”

The importance of trust, good conducliving by values of fairness and decency inis also rising up the agenda among thinkepoliticians. It has become a focus of sturespected organisations, such as AmericaResearch Center, and British think tank theFoundation, whose 2011 reportCharm Offensiv1

produced a body of proposals on “cultivcivility in 21st century Britain”. It has also the rise of London-based philosophy and sion centres such as the Idler Academy aSchool of Life, founded by best-selling and philosopher Alain De Botton, where vattend lectures on ethics, or take evening con “How to be a Better Friend”.

A BALANCED ATTITUDE TO SUCCESSOne of the central paradoxes of affluent c tries around the world is that as those couhave grown richer, they have also becomhappier, with rising levels of anxiety, deprobesity and other problems16.

This is a situation that has particular nance for men. As the main breadwinnermajority of homes, historically men havunder pressure to climb a career ladderdemonstrate their personal worth by attainhigh salary. In pursuing these goals they h

“Sometimes we just bullshit eachother – which really means that weare very close, because if guys arebeing too polite with each other,

you know they are not close”Ni B, Shanghai

“At a time when financialinstitutions seem to be failinand politicians are seen ascorrupt or incompetent, menare looking to their friends,rather than authority figures,as a moral compass to decidehow to be ethically sound”Dr James Staples



EVOLUTION OF FRIEND

come prey to poor health and high stress, oftenlosing contact with their friends along the way.

In the era of the New Friendship, men arestarting to seek a more balanced quality of life.In some cases, this involves a dramatic rejec- tion of career and status. For instance, Japan’ssoshoku danshi (“herbivore men”) are a generation of twentysomething men spurning the work-focused, salaryman lifestyle of their fathers inorder to spend their time on gardening, homedecorating and online gaming 17.

Post-material aspirationMost men are not taking such a radical ap-proach. But growing numbers of them are seek-ing to “have it all” through a broader, deeperquality of life that balances career goals withmaking time for friends.

In the wake of the 2008 global financialcrisis, and its dramatically unsettling effectson GDPs and job opportunities in much of theworld, more and more men are being drawn to rethink the meaning and value of success in their lives. These are men who are serious aboutattaining success in the workplace and enjoyinga good career; but also recognize that achiev-ing happiness and fulfilment means reaching forgoals that lie beyond money and possessions.

“In tougher economic times people lookfor experiences beyond the material,” saysDavid Hopper of research agency H2. “A spir-

itually more rewarding level of male friendship than someone to practice consumerism with isdeveloping.” If there’s a term for the perspective they are now adopting it might be “post-material aspiration”.

“Men are getting tired of being sold the dreamof a perfect life,” says Neil Boorman of creativeagency VCCP, who is also the author ofBonfireof the Brands, a book that is highly critical of con-sumer culture. “Yes, you can get a great car, agreat apartment, a flash watch. But what’s thepoint if you’re working day and night and can’tenjoy time with your friends? Those products endup as consolation prizes. Men today are lookingbeyond salary or status goods. They are redefin-ing success based on meeting personal goals of amore balanced, emotionally satisfying life.”

This redefinition of the meaning of successis a topic that’s being explored by some of theworld’s leading economic thinkers. Amongst them are Richard Wilkinson and Kate Picket, authors of influential bookThe Spirit Level, Nobelprize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz, andRobert Skidelsky, Emeritus Professor of PoliticalEconomy at Warwick University, who has argued that “wealth is not an end in itself but a means to the achievement and maintenance of a ‘goodlife’”18. The notion of post-material aspiration isalso being embraced by business figures such asTim Ferris, whose book, The 4-Hour Workweek,has been on theNew York Times business best-

seller list for the past four years.Ferris counsels his readers to work

amount of time necessary to make the mamount of money possible, and then spresultant free time creating a “meaningfull of discovery, adventure and time wwith friends. In that respect he stands trast to business sages of earlier periodStephen Covey, who wroteThe 7 Habits of Effective People and Spencer Johnson, autWho Moved My Cheese. The mantra of tbooks was to work as hard as possiblmany hours a day as necessary, in order it”. By selling so many books arguing fposite, Ferris highlights just how radicadreams of success have changed in rece“Success is no longer about material alone – that is seen as being emotionall ture,” says David Hopper. “Making wisabout how you spend your money, fexperiences over possessions, and spendwith those people who build and rewpsyche is recognised as more worthwemotionally intelligent.”

PhilanthropyThe best indication of how men’s attitsuccess are changing in the early 21st cebe seen in the attitude of wealthy and sumen themselves. In 2010, Microsoft coBill Gates and business investor Warren




launched the Giving Pledge, a campaign tAmerica’s wealthiest individuals to givmajority of their fortunes to charity. The ribeen generous philanthropists in previouyet they have also often strived to keepfortunes within their families, creating dysuch as the Rockefellers, Astors and Rothin the process. By insisting on the greater tance of distributing wealth rather than pason as an inheritance, the Giving Pledge is ing illustration of how much things are ch

To begin with, many of the 69 figurehave signed up are self-made entrepren

rather than heirs to family money. The notable factor is the relative youth of ma the list. Gates, along with other digital piolike Steve Case of AOL, and Vinod KhoslaMicrosystems were born in the 1950s. Butan even younger set of signatories, includcebook co-founders Mark Zuckerberg and tin Moskovitz, both aged 28, and Elon Mu41-year-old creator of Paypal, SpaceX andMotors. It is these latter names, that betw them have pledged tens of millions of d to charities and foundations, and are the prominent role models for modern men. process, they are bringing a new perspec the meaning of success. Even beyond theof the mega-wealthy, sports stars and celebsuch as Brad Pitt, Ben Stiller and Kobe have set up their own charitable foundaIn doing so, they too are setting a powerfample that success today is not defined bmuch money a man has, so much as hospends it.

“Making wise choices about h you spend your money, favoexperiences over possessionsspending time with those peowho build and reward your pis recognised as more worthwand emotionally intelligent”David Hopper, H2 Partners

In compiling this report, we talked to groups of men inmajor cities around the world – New York, Shanghai,London, Moscow, Mexico City and São Paolo – to get their views on how attitudes to friendship areevolving internationally. This is a rough compare-and-contrast guide to friendship, based on their words.

Each country has nuanced words for friends thatgrade relationships by precise rules. In Russia, forinstance, adroog is a close friend. Adar nakoni isan acquaintance, as is pryatil, which derives from the word pleasant. Akonish is a cellmate, implyingshared hardship and extreme loyalty. Aba’han is someone who protects you, like a father.

In Mexico,amigo entrañable describes reallyclose friends,cuates is for super cial friendships,amiguero is someone who goes out a lot and has manysuper cial friends andcompadre is someone you knowand admire who you’d like to upgrade to friend.

In the UK, there are f riends – close and trusted;mates – men you see a lot and like; chaps – similar tocompadres, often admired, often not that close;colleagues – people you don’t necessarily like but whoyou have to work with; and blokes – everybody else.

In the US, mates are buddies and bros, andblokes are dudes and guys. Whilst in Chinajiu rou,which means alcohol and meat, refers to friendsyou normally only go out to eat and drink with, likemates or buddies, while ahaoyou is a good friend.

National differences and similaritiesWhen they go out for a drink, men in São Paolo head

to a boteco, which is the Brazilian equivalent of a pub.Botecos have waiter service, so there is no cultureof buying rounds, and men drink at their own pace.They rarely get drunk and the bill is always divided fairlyat the end of the night. But conversation invariably

turns to the opposite sex. “The talk is always aboutwomen,” says Martin F, who runs a high-end travelagency. “Conversation among men is a male versionof female gossip: who you slept with; who you want to sleep with. Adultery is much more acceptable.”

Mexicans and Americans like to hug, high ve andeven hit their good friends. “Even the most ‘ bro’dudes in the world still like to hug their friends,” saysCharles D, a businessman from New York. “It’s notjust like a hug; I’m hugging you but I’m hitting you at the same time. There’s a lot of the hard slapping.”

All the groups were prepared to weep in front of theirfriends and almost every group was prepared to act asa “wingman”, with the UK and Mexico being the mostwilling. “Any Mexican is always ready to help a friendchat someone up,” says Carlos T, a businessman fromMexico City. “Whenever you see two girls together andone of you goes up to them, it’s almost obligatory that the other one has to go as well to support his friend.”

China’s economic boom means friends sharenancial opportunity. “I think it is even better times

for friendships than before,” says Ni B, a productioncompany MD from Shanghai. “We are generatingmore resources, and having a bigger picture in frontof us means you can hook up more friends, to createbetter and more interesting projects together.”

In America, work is also important in formingfriendships. “I don’t remember my father ever goingout to a business function after work,” says CharlesH. “But these days men have to do it all the time.Lots of my friendships are business orientated.”

In Russia, conversely, nudity is important to friendship.“Droog means a close friend – someone who has seenyou naked,” says Nadir A, a Moscow businessman. “Fora droog , it’s an essential element,” agrees Dimitry T, aprivate-equity entrepreneur. “Do you trust the guy? Yes.Has he seen you naked? No. Oh well, disquali ed.”

MATES, DROOGS AND COMPADRES:THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE OF FRIENDSHIP



EVOLUTION OF FRIEND

“Pledging millions of dollars to charity, asZuckerberg and others have done, is an influ-ential act,” says Boorman, who has also devel-oped creative content and strategy for leadingcharities, including Amnesty International andChristian Aid. “It changes some of our expectations around success. The successful men werespect today are the ones who acknowledge their responsibility to the world and try to helpothers, rather than just splashing their money onyachts or sports cars. Men like Zuckerberg senda powerful signal that aspiration doesn’t endwith material goods. The greatest goal is to usemoney or influence to try to make the world abetter place.”

CONCLUSION

Affected by powerful social and economic forc-es, men’s relationships to each other are chang-ing. Friendship is emerging as a central factor in their lives. As a consequence, they are becom-ing more emotionally open and questioning themeaning of success in their lives. Increasingly,men are looking to balance career and attain-ment with more personal goals of fulfilment.

“ The successful men we respecttoday are the ones whoacknowledge their responsibility tothe world and try to help others,rather than just splashing theirmoney on yachts or sports cars”Neil Boorman, VCCP

Real friendship is a constant throughout history,but its nature has evolved from era to era.

The Ancient WorldPre-Christian cultures regarded friendship between two men as the supreme human relationship;

“Wonderful was thy love to me/Passing the love ofwomen,” David says of Jonathan, when he hears of hisdeath in the Second Book of Samuel in the Bible.

The Pre-ModernsThe 12th century has been called “the Age ofFriendship.” It was thought that because saints hadachieved sainthood through a sort of friendship withGod, the very notion of friendship was, according to clerics, “part of the scheme of salvation.”

The RenaissanceThe writings of Niccolò Machiavelli, famous for his

cunning and devious commentary on power inThePrince, suggest a new world, in which greater learningand wealth give rise to a more predatory society. Thatdanger means that the identi cation and rejectionof false friends becomes at least as important as the cultivation of good ones. Historians ascribe thiscoldness and insecurity to the political instabilityof the period. The uncertainty meant that genuine,

loving companions were to be coveted, not leabecause, as so often seen in the plays of Shakeso many apparent friendships ended in betrayal

The 18th CenturyIn this period, the English word “friend” acqui

its current meaning; previously it had meant anyincluding kin, with whom one had a social relaBy 1755, it was de ned in the dictionary as “onesupports you and comforts you while others do

The ModernDuring the 19th century, men became increasinworried that the new mass, industrial culturehad disrupted old social patterns, and made reafriendship dif cult to attain. Sociologists such aGeorg Simmel and Ferdinand Tönnies argued tmodern ways of living were driving people apamost regrettable change, wrote Tönnies, was thfriendship was being edged out because “every

thinking of himself in competition with the othTo cope with these new conditions, men

evolved a new independent-minded approach to life. The popular template of masculinity wade ned in popular entertainment by a new kind hero – tough, solitary adventurers such as TarzanThe Lone Ranger and Sherlock Holmes.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF FRIENDSHIP




BUSINESSFriendship is becoming a key tool for men doingbusiness today. To understand how that has tran-spired, we have to look at why one of the best-established modern theories about business suc-cess is wrong.

For several decades, it has been acceptedwisdom that a crucial factor in business successwas building a wide network of friends, associ-ates and colleagues. The argument went that through them you could access new informationand contacts, and thus get ahead of the com-petition. As Richard Koch and Greg Lockwood,authors ofSuperConnect put it, “Networks rule the world.”1

American sociologist Mark Granovetter firstdeveloped the theory in 19732. He distinguishedbetween “strong ties” – close bonds with familyand friends, and “weak ties” – our links to contacts, colleagues and distant relatives. Wherestrong ties created a closed loop of information, according to Granovetter, weak ties helpedbuild broader, more diverse networks, which led to new business opportunities.

In many ways, Granovetter’s theories mim-

icked the old Chinese tradition of guanxi – a con-cept that combines western ideas of contacts,networks and relationships across the business,personal and emotional worlds. “Guanxi is like the basic connection between two units,” saysQiu Z, a company vice president in Shanghai.“Any connection can be called guanxi, staff toboss, colleague to colleague, and I can use this guanxi to get something.”

This is one reason many experts over the years,such as Dale Carnegie, inHow to Win Friends andInfluence People, have argued that the number ofa man’s friends equated with his chances of suc-cess in life. Under this way of thinking, the mainpurpose of male friendship was the strategic pur-suit of status. But our findings indicate that menare no longer as calculating in their approach tobuilding contacts.

In New York, a more malleable concept of“likeability” is replacing the cold utility of purenetworking. “All of us prefer to do businessor interact with people we like,” says bankerCharles H. “I think rather than doing businesswith someone that you can’t stand, or who

makes your skin crawl, or that you don’t ryou would happily give up that business –with someone else.”

New research now shows that strong timuch more important than previously thIn the fast-paced modern workplace, wgood collaborative and inter-personal skilcritical, one of the most valuable assets yohave is a core team of trusted friends and In the maelstrom of modern life, your frien the calm at the eye of the storm. Spendingwith them is like establishing a safe place there is room to share information, contacideas. For modern business leaders, strong

THE NEW FRIENDSHIP:ITS IMPACT ON HOWWE LIVE AND WORKThe New Friendship is changing the rules by which modern men live andwork. Evidence from a raft of recent research, and our own findings, isuncovering the pivotal role that friendship plays in everything from businessand entrepreneurship to health, wealth, happiness and how we communicate.In Part 2, we look at how the New Friendship is impacting on the followingareas of modern life: business, wealth, well-being and social media.

“...having a large network taka lot of maintenance and it’snot necessarily that effectiveNadir Contractor, Universal Music Group



EVOLUTION OF FRIENDS

friendship are a valuable resource.“It’s often said in business that you need a big

network to succeed. But having a large network takes a lot of maintenance and it’s not neces-sarily that effective,” says Nadir Contractor,Commercial Affairs Director at Universal MusicGroup and a senior executive in the music andentertainment industries for the past two dec-ades. “The ideal is to have a small, core group offriends that you can rely on and also learn from.It is not about sheer numbers of contacts, but acomprehensive group that can drive fresh ideasand innovation.”

In recent years we’ve seen close-knit groupsof men become successful in areas across theworking world. In the tech industry, the start-up,founded in a dorm room or parent’s garage bya group of college friends, has almost becomea standard model of success in the wake of thecreation of companies such as Facebook andGoogle. And old friends, together since theirstudent days, have risen together to the very topof British politics, in the form of Prime MinisterDavid Cameron, George Osborne, Chancellorof the Exchequer, and Boris Johnson, Mayor ofLondon, who were all members of the exclusiveBullingdon Club while at Oxford University.

Strong tie start-upsIn particular, for entrepreneurs seeking to es-

tablish their own businesses, research is discov-

ering that having a core group of friends to trustand grow with is no longer an optional extra. It’sa vital competitive asset.

“If you’re starting a business or trying to goout on your own, it’s really important to havea close set of friends to look to for support,”says Contractor. “A successful network needs the individuals to not only bring knowledge andinformation, but also the willingness to selflesslyshare to the group’s benefit. This helps strength-en the ties, which make a network both cohesiveand vibrant. It is important to remember thatnetworking is about reciprocity, and deliveringvalue back to your friends as a valued memberof their network.”

These are the conditions that help grow whatmight be described as “Strong Tie Start-ups”.In a study of new tech companies clusteredaround the oil industry in Aberdeen, researchersfrom the Aberdeen Business School and Lan-caster University Management School3 lookedat what drove success for new businesses. Theyfound that company founders who had theirown strong, close-knit networks of friendship,based on values of openness and trust, wereable to draw on a crucial resource as they grew their companies. The ability to work socially,“through social relations, social interaction andsocial networks”, was the secret to successfulentrepreneurship, concluded the report. Thesefindings were echoed in a report on UK small

business networks by British researcher4, andanalysis by American and Norwegian ics5, of the social networks of over 280,0business owners across Europe. Both studies discovered that entrepreneurs psignificant importance on the support oin offering insight and advice.

Research among small and mediumenterprises in Australia6 also found that epreneurs who were able to draw on net trust enjoyed a distinctive edge over thin building their companies. The study f“networks that have high levels of truentrepreneurship and competitive advaConversely, those entrepreneurs withoutknit network were less likely to succeed

Our own research supports these fiAs Taylor D from New York says, “Theabout friends is learning and benchmYou share things and you share opinioway of checking if what you’re seeing ing makes sense. We chat about busincareer choices all the time and we sharmation. They give you ideas, they problwith you.”

WEALTH

Friends are an increasingly precious in our personal and business lives. Butprecious? Professor Nattavudh Powdth




the London School of Economics, is a pioneerin what we might call “Friendonomics”. He hasfound that frequency of contact with friends andfamily is one of the factors that rates most highly,along with decent wages and good health, whenpeople are asked to assess their own happinessand satisfaction levels7. Put simply, we’re hap-pier when we see our friends more; so much so that a change from seeing friends less than oncea month to seeing friends on most days is enough to substantially improve the quality of our lives.Powdthavee has quantified that amount andcalculated that the economic value of friendshipcan be as much as £85,000 a year.

He has arrived at that figure by taking a ran-dom sample of individuals questioned in life-satisfaction surveys, recording the satisfactionlevels of the people in these samples at differ-ent points in time, then using simple statisti-cal methods to work out an implied “shadowprice” (market price of intangible assets) for their actions and desires. Once calculated, theamount of money needed to give our wellbe-ing the same boost as seeing friends regularlyis revealed as between £20,000 and £85,000,depending on the individual. To understand this,it is useful to know that extra money boosts ourhappiness only in the short-term; a large salaryincrease pleases us when we first receive it, butwe quickly come to take it for granted. Friends,by contrast, consistently buoy our spirits.

To put this sum into perspective, £85,000 isa larger amount than the value of getting mar-ried, which has been measured by economists at£50,000. It is also a considerable consolationfor the loss of happiness involved in losing yourjob (minus £143,000) or getting divorced (minus£170,000).

Powdthavee’s findings are backed up by theresults of Gallup research in America8 which

shows that those who said they had best friendsat work (30% of Americans) were seven timesmore likely to be engaged with their job, createmore profitability for their company and pro-duce higher quality work.

Friends can also help you earn more money.Economists from New York University and BostonUniversity13 recently analysed decision-makingwithin a large American executive recruitmentfirm. They found that recruiters with a tightergroup of friends were able to use that group to

source new information more effectivelycolleagues who relied on a wider, more dnetwork of contacts. Because recruitment cies are highly dependent on new informwhen hunting out the right candidates fvacancies, the employees with tight friegroups were able to perform better withcompany and produce higher revenue fofirm and themselves.

Would you be prepared to give up a friend inexchange for £85,000? We asked men this questionin interview groups in major cities around the world.Then we stood back and let them thrash it out.

New York

Charles H: I have probably two friends that Icould not be paid to sever the friendship with.Benjamin H: I’m going to be the asshole here andsay that there probably is a monetary value. I don’tknow what it is. It’s not a small number I’ll say that.Kevin P: Well you can always buy newfriends, right, with all the money.Charles H: But what kind of friends would they be?Charles D: There are so many variables infriendship that make it almost impossible to put a capital value on it.

ShanghaiChan W: Hmmm. If this person wants to give me

that money what does he really want? He musthave some intention so I wouldn’t give into this.Zhang Z: Give me £85,000 and I won’t see ChanW again. But put the cash on the table rst.Ni B: We could split it and pretend not to see eachother. In China we have a saying that your friends whoare like brothers are like your hands and your feet, whileyour wife is like your clothes. So you can change yourclothes but you can never change your hands and feet.Qiu Z: Any kind of connection or guanxi hasa proper price or value. If you pay more than the price of this connection it can be sold.

MoscowDimitry T: The real question is whether you are beasked to betray someone or whether a change in ylifestyle means that you will see less of him. I wonot want to betray a friend for any amount of monNadir A: If I was appointed governor of a

remote province I would take the job, butI’d still cherish my friends. I would not giveup my friends for any amount of money.Vladislav T: Perhaps you could structure thedeal. Give up your friend for money and then givhim a kickback of the bribe so that he bene ts.

Mexico CityCarlos: If they offered me money to stop seeing friend, no. Although I have taken a job that moveme to another city so I could no longer see mychildhood friends, and it paid me a lot less than thAntonio: Part of being a friend is that they unders that you have to better yourself, professionally

and nancially, and often other people, like yourfamily, bene t from your opportunities. Thisdoesn’t mean you don’t care about your friend.

LondonJoe M: Not even for a million.Sean H: It depends. Would anyone nd out?Joseph L: I would accept that price… I mean notfor Joe and Johnny. But I would for Sean and Raj

THE £85,000 QUESTION

Once or twicea month

Once or twicea week

On mostdays

£57,500 £69,500 £85,000

Economic value of frequent contact with friends




WELL-BEING

Increasingly, researchers are discovering thatfriendship has a “Network Effect”; there is acontributory link between the quality of our relationships with friends and our overarching qualityof life, from health and happiness, to job opportunities and lifespan.

Researchers from the Harvard MedicalSchool and the University of California, SanDiego9 have found that happiness among friends

is contagious. In a study that looked at the hap-piness of nearly 5000 people over a period of twenty years, they discovered that personal hap-piness depends on the happiness of those we areemotionally and physically close to. If a goodfriend who lives within a mile becomes happy, there is a 25% probability we will become hap-pier too. This Network Effect can be measuredfor up to three degrees. One person’s happinesscan spark a chain reaction, cheering up not only their friends, but also their friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends. The effect lastsfor up to a year. It also has a contagious impacton others nearby, benefiting spouses (8%), sib-lings who live within a mile (14%) and next-door

neighbours (34%). Happiness however, is notcontagious among co-workers, suggesting thatits basis lies in the strong emotional bonds weshare with our close friends and loved ones,rather than the shallower relationships we formin the workplace.

Friends can also help you live for longer. Ina ten-year study of 1400 men and women inAustralia aged 70 and older10, researchers dis-covered that those with a circle of close friendswere 22% more likely to live longer than thosewithout friends. Having close family ties, on theother hand, made no difference to survival. Con- tinuing to make time for real friends throughoutlife is key to enjoying a ripe old age.

The Network Effect of friendship can bewitnessed in medical situations, and over thelast 20 years, an increasing number of epide-miological studies have shown that people withstronger social networks become ill less often,and recover from illness more quickly.

A US study into patients in hospital facing sur-gery11 has discovered that people with a supportgroup of friends reported feeling less pain andanxiety before an operation. As a result, theyused less pain relief, felt physically better aftersurgery and had faster recuperation times. Bycontrast, patients lacking the support of friendshad higher levels of pain and anxiety both beforeand after surgery. Studies in war psychiatry have

shown that soldiers who lose significant numbersof friends in their unit are more prone to combatexhaustion than those who do not12.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Over recent years, ideas about friendship havebeen revolutionized by the advent of social me-dia. The numbers using social network sites isgrowing. In America, for instance, nearly half ofall adults (47%) use at least one social platformsuch as Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn13. This isclose to double the 26% of adults using such sitesin 2008. But that rise disguises a more detailedstory about the different ways men and womenare using social media, and what that means for their relationships with friends.

The most striking statistic about social mediause is that it is disproportionately female. Menare in a minority on almost all the main socialmedia platforms. They make up 42% of Face-book users, compared to 58% for women14. Theyaccount for just a third of Twitter users (36%)15.And they are less than a fifth of Pinterest users,which is overwhelmingly female (82%)16. The only

platform with a markedly different gendis LinkedIn, which has nearly twice as musers (63%) as female (37%)17.

Men are also less socially active onlwomen: 51% of men access social mea week compared to 65% of women18. Wwomen make an average of 21 status per month on Facebook, men make juAnd while 28% of men have never “L

of their friends’ content, that number 18% for women20. As Sheryl Sandberg, of Facebook has said, “The social worby women.”21

In the era of the New Friendship, thmen place on social networks is incrdetermined by the quality, not the quaonline relationships. That is partly becahave a more functional, rather than direlationship with social media. Men alikely to use social networks for infgathering and as a means to display th

Male

42%58%

36%64% 63%

37%

Female

% of users on social networking sitewho are male or female




location and status updates. They consumemore blogs than women (54% to 46%)22, and in the UK, 45% of men use social media to checkinto places via sites like Foursquare, compared to 33% of women23. As Helen Nowicka, UK Headof Digital at Porter Novelli communicationsagency has said, “Men are from Foursquare,women are from Facebook.”24 The growingrealisation that men use social media differently to women is leading to the rise of new platformsaimed specifically at men. These include Jaxx,a social networking smartphone app, and Gen- tlemint, a social bookmarking site that has beendescribed as a male version of the female-dom-inated Pinterest.

Over-friendingYet there is little sign that men want to catch upwith, or imitate the behaviour of, women online.If anything, the differences in their activities arebecoming more pronounced. Where women areusing social media to establish wide networksof connections based on shared, participatoryactivity, men are focused on building fewer,deeper relationships.

Women have a wide set of online friendsand they interact with them vigorously. 93% ofwomen use social media to read posts, sharephotos and comment on friends’ profiles25. Incontrast, men have an average of 120 friends onFacebook and they are in close, regular contactwith only four of them26.

One of the reasons for this is a dislike amongmen of “over-friending” – accumulating largenumbers of online connections. A study intoattitudes to friendship on Facebook by the Uni-versity of Michigan27 found that their own friendsoften view users with a large number of friends

negatively, because they are seen as trying toohard to be popular. This is evidence supportedby our own research. “I know a couple of menwho have like 1000+ friends on Facebook,” saysJoe M, a writer from London. “I don’t see thembeing any more popular in real life, and actuallyI think some of them are pretty lonely.”

The idea is also viewed poorly in Mexico,where the termamiguero, which roughly trans-lates as over-friendly, is also used to describe aperson with lots of superficial friends.

But it is also because when faced with man-aging a considerable number of contacts, acrossan increasing amount of social media platforms,many men are taking a strategic approach tohow they use their time online. They are estab-lishing a hierarchy of online relationships andreserving the majority of their time for a smallgroup of close friends. For instance, Phil Barrett,Global Senior Director for Digital Marketing atResearch In Motion, has described how he hascategorized his online friends, with best friendsat the top and other connections tiered below:LinkedIn for his professional network; Facebookfor people he already knows; and Twitter for the people he’d like to know better. “Socialmedia,” says Barrett, “has changed the definitionof friends.”28

High value networksFor many men, the benefits of investing in a smallnumber of high-quality online friendships canbe significant. A report from the Pew ResearchCenter has found that, in comparison to non-Internet users, regular users of Facebook receivean above-average amount of emotional supportfrom their friends29.

In practice, then, men are using social media to create high value networks – a small, close-knit core group, whose connections are built onsupport and companionship, and which strive toreplicate the trusted nature of real-world friend-ships. Even within these circumstances though, there is a deep-seated feeling among men thatmaking time for real friends should ultimately bedone face-to-face. “You can get as many emailsas you want about someone’s situation,” saysCharles HB, a banker from New York. “But itdoesn’t really have any impact until you’re sat infront of someone having a conversation.” Even associal media comes to play an ever-more promi-

nent role in our lives, true friends are still time to meet in person. “You cannot replacfriends with SMS or Facebook,” says Difrom Moscow. “You have to keep in face-tcontact with friends – and that takes time.

CONCLUSION

The New Friendship has wide-rangingcations for the way men live and work Paramount among these is the finding thanection with close friends is a vital asphow men can thrive and succeed in the mworld. Friendship aids entrepreneurship has a contagious Network Effect on ourimproving health, wealth and longevity. real friends make time for each other, the qof their life shows significant improvemen

“I know a couple of men whohave like 1000+ friends onFacebook... ...I don’t see thembeing any more popular in relife, and actually I think somof them are pretty lonely”Joe M, London

Male

28%

Female

18%

% of Facebook users of each sex that

never like content on Facebook




Each individual group of friends is unique, withits own history, characters and relationships.However, certain “types” or archetypes of mancan be identified in groups across the world. Forexample, the joker and the natural leader arepopular characters in many movies, TV showsand other forms of entertainment.

Because different types attract, balanceand complement each other, psychologists andresearchers believe it is possible to describe the archetypes most likely to be found in anygroup of long-time friends. In consultation withpsychologists and experts, we have devised a setof six archetypes, modelled around the friend-ship groups of aspirational, international menaged 25-45.

The archetype played by friends in a groupdoes not necessarily define someone’s entirecharacter, and away from the group, an indi-vidual’s character may differ noticeably. Thisis because groups have their own logic and dy-namics that can direct people away from theirnatural state into new roles. To provide the mostobvious example, two members might be candi-dates for the leader role. Typically the stronger

of the two will become leader, and the weakerwill adapt to another role. In such a situation, the individual’s character will be suited for someroles, and not others. If no suitable roles areavailable, he may well leave the group. This is a typical process in the early stages of establishinga core group of friends.

Bill Black, former Team GB Olympic volley-ball and triathlon coach, sees a parallel processin team building. “We would not be looking for the characteristics to make up a team in the firstplace. They tend to come to the fore over time,and the coach will act accordingly to developelements which are useful for the squad,” hesays. “Ideally, I would have one of each typefor a team, with the exception of The Rock (seepage 17). Otherwise trouble may brew. Oppo-site poles attract, but men of the same type cancome into conflict.”

THE NEW FRIENDSHIP:GROUP DYNAMICSAMONG MENIn Part 3 we look at the behaviour of men in close-knit friendship groups. Weidentify six archetypes, or roles, that men act out when they come togetheras friends. And we analyse the group dynamics among friends – how theyrelate to each other, and to others outside the group, and what their bodylanguage says about them, both as individuals and as part of a group.

“Ideally, I would have one otype for a team... ...Otherwtrouble may brew. Oppositeattract, but men of the samtype can come into conflictBill Black, former Team GB Olympicvolleyball and triathlon coach




THE PILOT

Smart and in control. Always a step aheadMore than anyone else in the group, he is theleader. Popular, in the know and successful in hiscareer, the Pilot may suggest the venue when thefriends meet, and will certainly make the deci-sion if more than one venue is on offer. In eithercase, he will accept full responsibility for hisdecision. It is this willingness to accept respon-sibility that allows him to provide leadership,structure and stability for the group.

The Pilot dresses smartly, but is not always the most prominent man in the group. Some- times he may sit back, talking quietly and usingbody language (he is a great “finger-steepler”,see illustration) to communicate poise and control. Regardless of his stance, it is clear that any-one seeking to influence the group will need hisapproval first.

He places intense value on the time spentwith real friends, though he can be hard to pindown when making arrangements, as he is in highdemand socially, and is also an effortless net

worker. Feeding off these networks, he maintainsan excellently filtered ideas-bank of “new stuff”and could be compared with what business writ-er Seth Godin calls “The Sneezer” – the personwho will spread the word if you deliver for them;someone who can command attention.

Although his key characteristics are universal,The Pilot will express himself differently in differ-ent cultures. In the West, he is likely to impresswith his cultural knowledge and his sense of whatis right and “cool”. Elsewhere, it is with his entre-preneurialism, risk-taking and ability to managea consensus among his friends when need be.

He can be egotistical and overbearing, andmay from time to time forget the needs of thewhole group. He is particularly prone to con-flict with The Wit, who has the ability to spota misstep, as well as the verbal cleverness toundermine him, and The Explorer, whose ideasare often too avant-garde for his tastes.

THE EXPLORER

Effortless networker. Loves new people and placesIn business terms, this is the type whose timehas come. The Explorer instinctively seeks outnew possibilities, ideas and opportunities; theclothes he wears and the music he listens to thismonth will be what the rest of the group buysnext. They trust him, often more than any media, to guide their leisure-time choices. He won’t getinvolved in the organisation of meet-ups, but ifanyone is going to argue for a new venue once they’re out, it will be him.

This willingness to experiment, the hunt forinnovation and his tech-savvy make him attrac- tive to many employers nowadays. But it was notalways like this. When the group was younger,he probably seemed nerdy. Male hierarchies typically rely on sporting prowess, toughnessand humour. The Explorer tends not to thrive inany of these areas, which is one reason he canbe so solitary and happy in his own company.Interesting that he is now increasingly seen asone of the transformational leaders needed in

modern business, where success is often mined by smart thinking and innovation than older, industrial-era abilities. In deving markets, he is less likely to be so sougor successful, and more likely to be, say, aoff civil servant with artistic tastes.

No matter what the territory, he will bleast motivated by money, seeing life as about gaining experience, not wealth and rial goods. In part because of this, he has aand trusted network, and loves social neting; he always gets loads of likes on his Fastatus updates. He loves the group, butcome into conflict with everyone, particat times The Rock, who will see The Explwilfully unstable, and threatening to his lfixity. They like each other really, but Thwas not impressed by that weird bar he dr them to last time.

THE SIX ARCHETYPES OF FRIENDSHIP




THE ROCK

Solid and reliable. His friends are his lifeThe Rock is never the loudest or the most dra-matic member of the group of friends, but clos-est to being its soul, the keeper of its true values.If they make time for each other and he can-not be there, he is sorely missed – but then thiswill not happen often, because along with TheCoach, The Rock is probably the guy organising things.

He is essentially the embodiment of old-school values, but with a modern outlook on life,defined by hard work, realism, commitment,common sense, family values and reliability. Solong as he has the confidence to put his princi-ples into action, he will rise at work thanks tosheer toil and clear-mindedness, and will oftensurprise people who have known him a while bysetting up his own company and doing very well.

Technology may well be his area – his practical flair extends to computers, though socialnetworking for its own sake is really not his thing.Career-wise, he can run into problems whenhis innate conservatism holds him back and hemisses the boat. However well or badly workis going, his delight in his group of best friendsis unchanging. No one entertains him like theydo, and he is convinced that no other group

has such strong bonds. He can never getenough of the old stories they like to tell, and the adventures they like to recall; he might notbe the one telling them, but he is just as happy to listen as to take centre stage. This pride andpleasure taken in his peers means that he willquickly leap to their defence if there is any senseof an attack or criticism from the outside; hewill deputise willingly if The Hero is not around.Members of the group who make light-heartedjokes at the others’ expense have to be care-ful too. He is wary of The Explorer and dislikesit when he thinks The Wit goes too far. His ideaof success in life is about maintaining stand-ards and ensuring some self-improvement. Ex-perimentation and sarcasm for the sake of it runcounter to that.

Oddly, although he is not an enthusiastic userof social media, it can make his role more im-portant. He links the group to real experiences.The other members’ cyber-friendships might beacceptable - until they realise they are missingsomething. The Rock intrinsically understands that this is not the same, and that keeping alivesomething of “how it used to be” is essential tomaintaining the real value of the group.

THE HERO

Natural leader. Never afraid to stand up for what is rightThe Hero is a terrific, energising person to haveon a team. He has a clear sense of morals andhis willingness to stand up for what he believes isright can be inspirational.

But beware – if one of the friends oversteps the mark and threatens the balance of the group,he will deal with them dispassionately. Peoplewho do not know him might find him blunt, evencold. People who do know him think he is a greatfriend to have.

In some ways he is like The Pilot, happy to take the lead and to take responsibility, but he thinks more about how the group is being treatedby the outside world, and less about the welfareof the individuals members. If one of them isfeeling down, he hopes they will come roundquickly; he secretly feels The Coach can be a

little too indulgent at times. This instinitself out in different ways in differenries. In Asia, where a typical group olikes to have a consensus of opinion,also actively and diplomatically help e that consensus.

The Hero can also run the risk of bdriven by the need for recognition. If himself on a team with another Herocan fly. Coaches find that for a successf team, one Hero is all but essential, twoproblematic and three is usually impBut his worth is increasingly being reand not just by employers. Incensed by tion, excited by togetherness, he is likleading community action wherever it i the world.




THE WIT

The life and soul of the groupIrreverent, satirical and possessed of a greatzest for life, The Wit is always at the centre of thegroup’s liveliest conversations, making peoplelaugh with jokes, mockery and self-deprecation.He is a tremendous optimist, and has a determi-nation to make the most of every moment. Hisonly social problem is that the other membersof the group can tire before he does. In fact,The Wit’s capacity to entertain and amuse canbe such that it distracts observers from his otherimportant contributions to the group as a whole.

He, as much as The Explorer, can move thegroup on, and stop it from getting stale. Hespots, and stops through mockery, any boringand overly repetitive behaviour, and he will usehis satirical tone to warn friends about objec- tionable behaviour when a “straight” tone ofvoice might annoy.

At a time when the prevailing mood of young-er people across the world is loosely anti-author-

itarian and pro-freedom and self-expression, hecan be an important cultural figure. In rapidlydeveloping countries where there can be ten-sions between older, conservative voices andyounger rebellious ones, he can often keep thepeace by forcing a smile. He is particularly adeptwhen it comes to the tendency, in some countries, to renew national identity by acknowledg-ing and being ironic about cultural clichés.

More than anything, he enjoys the companyof his group of real friends, and more than any-one else, he is the social glue that binds them to-gether; they really notice the difference when heis not there. The danger for him personally is thatin trying to encourage everyone to be positive,he doesn’t always express what he feels himself.In that respect, he is a more complex character than he might first appear – but don’t let himhear you say so.

THE COACH Articulate and emotionally intelligent. He likes to listenThe Coach’s role may well be the least acknowl-edged in this group, yet it is utterly essential – ifanything becoming more so. He is emotionallyliterate, and understands the needs and feel-ings of individual friends, gravitating instinctively to those who are feeling damaged in some way.And he is happy to listen to them talking about their anxieties and concerns without reciproca- tion, because he feels rewarded by the well-being of the group.

He can enjoy this collective well-being somuch that he is often content to sit back and listen, almost as a spectator – a tendency he canshare with The Rock, with whom he has certainvalues in common. So long as he avoids beingsmothering and a killjoy, he will command greatgratitude and appreciation from each groupmember.

The importance of The Coach in a group hasgrown over the last decade.

At work, people are less secure and more threatened by change, and generally across the

world, changing work patterns and the dof the traditional family unit means thatare working longer hours and sometimespoorer care of themselves. The Coach is the member of the group that most conspicly plugs the welfare gap, providing an exof the way that in the 21st century friendfill roles traditionally taken by family anmunity.




A VISUAL GUIDE TO FRIENDSHIP: HOW THE SIX ARCHETYPES RELATE TO EACH O




THE BODY LANGUAGE OF FRIENDS: HOW TO SPOT THE SIX ARCHETYPES

So, perhaps you are drinking in a bar and watch-ing a group of friends, wondering who is who. Ormaybe you are with your own group of friends,and you want to check out who got what role. Tohelp, we have put together this guide to the bodylanguage of archetypes.

The PilotTends to exhibit what is known as “alpha behav-iour”: more upright, more asymmetrical in theway they sit, and sometimes they move a littlemore slowly than the others. He has the easyconfidence to take up more of the shared space,sitting with legs apart, and subconsciously as-serting what is known as “visual dominance” –making eye contact when he speaks to you, butlooking away when you talk, enticing you topursue him.

He also uses touch to assert dominance and to bond, such as backslapping, shoulder punch-ing and bear hugging. Touch can be a sign offriendship, of course – but only when both peo-ple have the opportunity to touch each other.The Pilot, though, exercises the right to touchothers, while making it difficult for others toreciprocate. In more mature, less boisterousgroups, you might spot The Pilot holding court,leading the conversation, and forming the stee-ple gesture with his hands.

When standing, The Pilot often adopts a high-

dominance “straddle stance”, with legs apartand toes pointing outwards. You might also peghim by his dominant expression, with clenchedjaw and eyebrows lowered.

The ExplorerCan sometimes be a fairly introverted individu-al, but will often be seen coaxing and cajolinghis buddies to get their own ideas across. TheExplorer feels the need to persuade others –grabbing hold of people, making sure they arepaying attention, interrupting where necessary,prompting them to express their points of view.He will appeal to them with outstretched armsand open palms to try to bring them around tohis point of view, or to persuade them to listen tohim. His other telltale sign is a dreamy, slightlydisengaged expression as he retreats into hisown world, thinking of the next idea to present to the group.

The RockThe Rock does a lot of imitation and mimickingof the other friends, or, to use the scientific term,isopraxism. He tends to imitate those aroundhim, for example wearing the same clothes ashis boss, and mirroring gestures, body move-ments and mannerisms. It is unconscious, but itis a way of showing that he is not threatening.The Rock will also watch and attend to others,

seeking approval and acceptance, especfrom the Pilot.

His body language also speaks subtly oup power, and putting aside ego in order t the group. He does more shoulder shruwhich indicates that you are giving away and makes you seem friendlier because ybeing a little more submissive.

The Rock has a pigeon-toed posture“tibial torsion” when standing or sitting, wmore overtly confident people tend to stanout or “military oblique”.

The HeroUsually identified by his occasionally ecand attention-grabbing antics. At any pomay peel off from the group to, say, give speech to the assembled crowd, or go ovechat to some women. His behaviour is defforays away from the group and braggadoexaggerated examples of dominating behasuch as staring at people. Sometimes yomore macho stuff in a Hero than in a Pilot

When speaking, he will use palm-dow tures to make his point. He may well be out from the group, ready to engage outwith a penetrating gaze. His hands may behips to make his upper body look bigger toes will most definitely be military obliq




The WitOften takes on the role of fall guy, prepared to be the butt of people’s humour. He will dostupid things that become part of the folkloreof the group, and his body language may wellbe part of this, as he performs funny walks andsilly gestures. His face is hard at work, engagedin transformative action. The Wit typically has a“mobile” face, where his lips do all kinds of things depending on their emotion – compress-ing the lips, or rolling them inward to showfrustration, for example. Similarly his eyebrows tend to lift when he gets excited about an idea.These facial cues tend to work to transformlisteners, making it easier to change the ideasand attitudes of other people in the group.

His shoulders are also active and expressive,as he uses unthreatening shrugs and side-to-sidemovements to relate to others and add to hislikeability.

The CoachHis most indicative body language is displayedwhen talking directly to members of the group.When he comes to chat, it is literally face-to-face, sometimes with touch, showing he is con-cerned about the person. He is not being rowdy,but engaged and accepting. In conversation, heis more likely to have his legs crossed, showingyou that he is not about to run off, and is com-mitted to the conversation. To signal attentive-ness, The Coach might also raise his eyebrows.

He will also sustain eye contact and look inhis friends’ faces for clues to their emotionalneeds. He seeks to understand what the groupis feeling and what its needs are. To show under-standing, he involves his head in the conversation, nodding in agreement and affinity to givean active, non-verbal cue. Critically, he maintains eye contact when you are speaking – unlikeThe Pilot, who maintains eye contact only whenhe himself is speaking.

Men and archetypes: a footnoteTo create this report, including this analysis ofarchetypes and body language, we conductedinterviews with groups of friends based in majorcities around the world. It was striking that sever-al members of our groups were sceptical about the existence of archetypes and roles within theirgroups of friends. As Joe M from London put it: “I

think the moment that you feel yourself identify-ing this person as The Hero, say, or this personas that… it’s reducing the friendship. It’s nicerwhen you think that you are close enough that all those archetypes just dissolve away.”

In some cases, notably the London group, there was a discernible closing of ranks at thesuggestion that an “outsider” could categoriseold friends in this way. By contrast, men fromother countries welcomed the idea and clearlyenjoyed talking about it. The Moscow group, forexample discussed it at some length.Vladislav T: We are a team and the team hasdifferent players.Nadir A: In every group it’s like a drama. Youhave your role. There are main characters andsub-characters.Dimitry T: There is a joker – that’s you (Nadir).Vladislav T: Atamada, aspokesman, a toastmaster.Nadir A: There is the soul of the group. He is the most important. This is the person whounites everyone, and provides the link.

In New York, several men agreed that theyplayed roles, but felt those roles could changearound:

“Really great friends can let you play more than one role. They give you the freedom to bedifferent. With friends you aren’t so close with, they expect you to be one thing. This is the high-est form of friendship, when people let you belots of things. You can say I don’t feel like thatrole tonight and just relax. Be who you are,and you end up playing a different group role,”observed Taylor D.

What do we make of this? Does hostility to the idea invalidate it? Psychologists believe that the answer lies with ways of thinking. One clas-sic distinction is between people who instinctively trust reasoning (a reliance on observablefact) as the best path to truth, and those who trust feeling (emotions and intuition). Men aremore likely (though by no means guaranteed) to trust reasoning. And since the reasoning mindsetis less inclined to consider emotion and relationships, and hostile to the idea of needs anddependencies, men are likely to be scepticalabout a system that orders their own relation-ships. (It was noticeable to the researcher work-ing with the groups that when they discussed the

work with women friends afterwards, the were generally interested and eager to more).

Psychologist Julie Bullen explains that men will usually accept the idea, but may to have it demonstrated by actual exam“The fact they will discuss it at all shows hwe have come though. The notion of archsuggests that they have needs. In the 1when the strong silent type was still the a tional figure, I suspect most men wouldnbeen willing to entertain the idea.”

CONCLUSION

By defining men according to archetypes within a group of close friends, we can fclose and telling picture of the dynamic wgroup. We can understand their physical biour, their emotional and psychological and their status within the group. By loohow men act within a group we can better stand who they are as individuals.




It is part of the beauty of real friendships that they are so fluid, unique and evolving, that theyresist categorisation and analysis. That is why, incompiling this report, we sought to raise ques- tions about our changing relationships, as muchas answer them.

In doing so, a central finding has emerged.We are going through one of the periodic tran-sitions in the nature of male friendship, andentering a time in which deeply felt friendshipsare becoming more important for men, both asa source of emotional enrichment and practicalsupport. The New Friendship is being createdin the midst of widespread social, technologi-cal and economic changes that are profoundlyaffecting the ways we live, work and communi-cate. This era of New Friendship is characterisedby three key elements:• Emotional openness – a more

engaged, open attitude to friendshipand social connection

• Trust and respect – an emphasison trust, mutual respect andgentlemanly “chivalric” behaviour

• A balanced attitude to success –a recognition that success in life is basednot just on material reward, but also onpersonal fulfilment and close friendshipsThe New Friendship has wide-ranging impli-

cations for the way men live and work today. Aswe have established in this report, the healthand well-being benefits of friendship are con-siderable. And even at a time when social mediais forming an ever-larger aspect in our relation-ships, it is very much the case that, for menespecially, real friendship means making time tosee each other face to face.

What does all this mean for the future? We

believe that the era of New Friendship is only justbeginning. Below, we have anticipated potentialfuture developments in the areas of life and workwe examined in Part 2 of this report.

BUSINESS

We anticipate that traditional business hier-archies, with bosses at the top and junior staffand workers below, will become increasinglydifficult to maintain. This is because although top-tier managers see themselves as gatekeep-ers of ideas and information, the younger staffbelow them are starting to find that the quick-est way to solve problems is to collaborate with their friends – inside or outside the company. Thisposes a challenge for businesses, but it also feelslike an unstoppable trend, and when trends areunstoppable, businesses must learn and adapt,or suffer.

Some diverse and forward-thinking compa-nies have begun to utilise digital social networks,such as Yammer and Socialtext, within theirorganisations. Others, such as Proctor & Gam-ble, have opened themselves up to the energy offriends outside company boundaries altogether,via the fashionable strategy of co-collaboration.This seems constructive and far-sighted. It isclear that friends support each other and gen-erate ideas more quickly than people in other,formal relationships; why not try to harness that power?

In the 19th and 20th centuries, changing workpatterns detrimentally affected human relation-ships. In the 21st, as Richard H Thaler and CassR Sunstein have shown in their influential bookNudge, we are realising it is more productive towork with natural human instincts and behav-iours. Given the increasing importance of friend-

ship, we think it possible that in the futnesses will either hire groups of friendsome staff-friend networks on a sort of This is no more outlandish an idea thaFord’s production line was a few decadehe invented it.

WEALTH

The economic analysis of friendship isgrow in significance in tandem with thimportance being attached by researcherstudy of happiness. As influential reporColumbia University’sWorld Happiness signal, “the happiness agenda is a psive project that will have a steadily inimpact on society as knowledge and exaccumulate. Over time, the explanation piness (its causes, direct and indirect)become a central purpose of social scien

Governments and international bodalready taking note. In 2012, the UK golaunched its first annual “Happiness IndMeasuring National Well-being programrecord levels of satisfaction and anxiety the British public. Connection with frifamily is a key criterion being used by of National Statistics in collating its findEuropean Quality of Life Survey, whichparticipation in civil society across thi tries in Europe, also ranks contact witas a vital factor in its assessment. In 2Organisation for Economic Co-operatiDevelopment (OECD) launched its ownational well-being survey called the BIndex, based on similar criteria.

As reports like these grow in numbare likely to have an increasing influencwe understand wealth. Friendship will b

CONCLUSION: THEFUTURE OF FRIENDSHIP




understood as a personal benefit and a socialgood. Its measurement will grow in importanceas a key element in assessing our personal fortunes and national prosperity.

WELL-BEING

Perhaps the clearest and most striking benefitof strong friendships is to physical and men- tal health. Some recent findings with regard to the relationship between social life and well-being have been astonishing. As far back as1997, researchers writing in theJournal of the American Medical Association asserted “therelative risk for mortality among those with lessdiverse networks is comparable in magnitude to the relation between smoking and mortalityfrom all causes.”1

Other studies mentioned in this reportshow plainly that the better maintained ourfriendships, the less ill we become. At a timewhen many governments around the world areassessing the impact of ageing populations on their healthcare costs, this seems a beacon ofhope – although of course utilising the knownbenefits will be difficult. We foresee doctorsand healthcare workers targeting people at thecentre of friendship networks, such as The Rockand The Coach, in order to spread informationabout preventative care. Health improvementschemes and gym memberships might be offeredat subsidised rates for groups of friends. And,most importantly, we ourselves might begin torealize that, every now and again, it is a goodidea to leave the office early, forget the e-mail,and make time with real friends.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the creator of the WorldWide Web, has described his vision for the futureof online communications as a “Semantic Web”;a system in which machines embedded withinternet-enabled sensors and software become“intelligent agents”, talking to each other andhandling the transactions and data of our dailylives. In such a scenario, the Internet becomesa ubiquitous presence all around us rather than a service accessed through computers ormobile phones. The practical implication of this for friendship is that it will become even

easier and faster for us to access our friends andcontacts online.We foresee the distinctions between “real”

and online friends becoming more nuanced,with people adopting increasingly sophisticated techniques to manage and filter relationshipsonline. They will seek to reserve a privileged status for close friends while maintaining connection with an ever-lengthening list of acquaint-ances and blocking the incursions of trolls andspambots. The goal for online friendship will beclarity and ease of communication in a growingweb of complexity.

CONCLUSION

This report is only a glimpse into the evolvingnature of friendship. What our findings indicateabove all is that, in the early 21st century, friend-ship is a vital factor in the lives of modern men.For men today, making time for friends is moreimportant than ever.




EXPERTS QUOTED IN REPORT

Alan Redman, occupational psychologistand founder member of the Associationof Business PsychologistsFelix Economakis, chartered psychologistNeil Boorman, Content andCommunities Planner, VCCP andauthor ofBonfire of the BrandsSam Buckley, Research Director, FirefishBill Black, former Team GB Olympicvolleyball and triathlon coachNadir Contractor, Commercial AffairsDirector, Universal Music GroupDr Nattavudh Powdthavee, PrincipalResearch Fellow, Centre for EconomicsPerformance, London School of EconomicsGreg Williams, Executive Editor,Wired magazineDavid Hopper, H2 PartnersMark Ratcliff, Director, MurmurCharles Gant, Film Critic,Variety,Film 2012, The GuardianJulie Bullen, business psychologistMatthew de Abaitua, anthropologistand lecturer, Brunel UniversityDr James Staples, Doctor of SocialAnthropology, Brunel University

INTERNATIONAL GROUPSINTERVIEWED FOR REPORT

New York

Benjamin H, web developer; Charles D,businessman; Charles HD, banker; Chris K,CFO of internet company; Kevin P, Founder/CEO of entertainment company; Taylor D,entrepreneurMoscow Dimitry T, private equity entrepreneur;Nadir A, businessman; Dimitry R, works for ananotechnology company; Vladislav T, works fora nanotechnology company; Lev S, investmentbanker; Eugeny S, businessmanMexico City

Carlos Ado, engineer; Carlos AV, commercialmanager; Rodrigo P, mathematician; Pablo C,musical director; Antonio M, mathematician;Carlos Ate, businessman; Carlos F, architectLondon

Joseph L, corporate lawyer; Jonny M,medical student; Raj C, head of marketing;Joe M, writer; Sean H, web designerSão Paolo

Marcelo C, internet entrepreneur; Martin F, runshigh-end travel agency; Rodrigo P, businessman;Edmundo C, writerShanghai

Ni B, production company MD; Zhang Z, socialgames company executive; Qiu Z, companyvice president; Chan W, TV content andprogramme director

CONTRIBUTORS




Executive SummaryState of World Population 2007 (UNFPA)World Happiness Report2012, EarthInstitute, Columbia University

Introduction1 Interviews conducted June-July 20122 Pahl R, 2000.On Friendship, Polity Press

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Hypothesis, American Psychologist7 Locke J, 2011.Duels and Duets: Why Men and Women

Talk So Differently, Cambridge University Press8 Trust Barometer 2012, Edelman9 See also, Staples J, 2011. At the Intersection of

Disability and Masculinity: Exploring Gender andBodily Difference in India, Journal of the RoyalAnthropological Institute; Staples J, 2005,Becominga Man, Contributions to Indian Sociology

10 Todays-gentleman.com11 Artofmanliness.com12 Chivalrytoday.com13 Themoderngentleman.com14 The Guardian, 22 July 2012 [CUT –

RENUMBER there’s no 14]15 Charm Offensive: Cultivating Civility in 21st

Century Britain, 2011. The Young Foundation16 World Happiness Report, as above17 Japan Today, 16 February 201218 Skidelsky R and Skidelsky E, 2012.How

Much is Enough: The Love of Money and theCase for the Good Life, Allen Lane

Part 21 Koch R and Lockwood G, 2010.SuperConnect:

How the Best Connections in Business and Life Are the Ones You Least Expect, Little, Brown

2 Granovetter MS, 1973.The Strength of Weak

Ties, American Journal of Sociology,3 Jack SL, Dodd SD and Anderson AR, 2004.

Social Structures and Entrepreneurial Networks:The Strength of Strong Ties, InternationalJournal of Entrepreneurship and Innovation

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and Entrepreneurial Growth, International Journalof Management & Information Systems

6 Braun P, Lowe J, 2006. A Matter of Trust:Networks and Entrepreneurs. Paper presented at the Third AGSE International EntrepreneurshipResearch Exchange, Auckland, New Zealand

7 Powdthavee N, 2007.Putting A Price Tag onFriends, Relatives and Neighbours; Using Surveys ofLife Satisfaction to Value Social Relationships

8 Aral S and Van Alstyne M, 2010.Networks,Information and Brokerage: The Diversity-BandwidthTradeoff , American Journal of Sociology

9 Christakis N and Fowler J, 2008.DynamicSpread of Happiness in a Large SocialNetwork, British Medical Journal

10 Giles LC, Glonek GFV, Luszcz MA, Andrews GR,2007.Do Social Networks Affect the Use of Residential Aged Care Among Older Australians? BMC Geriatrics

11 Mitchinson AR, Kim HM, Geisser M, RosenbergJM, Hinshaw DB, 2008.Social Connectednessand Patient Recovery after Major Operations,Journal of the American College of Surgeons

12 Copp T and McAndrew B.Battle Exhaustion: Soldiersand Psychiatrists in the Canadian Army, 1939-1945

13 Hampton K, Goulet LS, Raine L, Purcell K,2011.Social Networking Sites and Our Lives,Pew Internet and American Life Project

14 Pew Internet, as above15 Pew Internet, as above16 Google Ad Planner17 Pew Internet, as above18 EuroPNstyles report 2011, Porter Novelli19 Pew Internet, as above20 Goo SK, 2012.Facebook: A Profile of its Friends,

Pew Internet & American Life Project21 Quote cited in The Guardian, 2 March 201222 EuroPNstyles report, as above

23 EuroPNstyles report, as above24 Nowicka H. Porter Novelli blog, February 1425 EuroPNstyles report, as above26 Pew Internet, as above27 Tong ST, Van Der Heide B, Langwell L, Walt

L, 2008.Too Much of a Good Thing? TheRelationship Between Number of Friends andInterpersonal Impressions on Facebook, Journalof Computer-Mediated Communication

28 Barrett, P. Burning the Bacon blog. 3 May 2029 Facebook: A Profile of its Friends. As above

Part 3The authors wish to thank the following for their hcompiling archetype profiles: Mark Ratcliff, DirecMurmur Research; Julie Bullen, Business PsychoDr Kevin Dutton, psychologist and research fellowFaraday Institute for Science and Religion at CamUniversity, and author ofFlipnosis: The Art of Split-SPersuasion; Ian Saville, Deceptionist and Party MagDr Peter Collett, psychologist and author; Dave GPhD, Director, Centre For Non-Verbal Studies; PrCary Cooper, Professor of Organisational Psycholand Health at Lancaster University; Bill Black, foTeam GB Olympic volleyball and triathlon coach

Conclusion1 Cohen S, Doyle WJ, Skoner DP, Rabin BS, G

JM, 1997.Social Ties and Susceptibility to the CCold, Journal of the American Medical Associ

NOTES AND REFERENCES

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