child's horoscope · 2015-02-24 · you may give them your love but not your astrology can...

Copyright Liz Greene and Astrodienst AG. Version 1.12

CHILD'S HOROSCOPEfor

Joanne K. Rowling, born 31 July 1965

Astrodienst AG, Dammstr. 23, CH-8702 Zollikon / Zürich, Internet: www.astro.com E-Mail: [email protected]

CHILD'S HOROSCOPEfor

Joanne K. Rowling, born 31 July 1965Nr. 6212.502-4

Astrological Interpretation and Text by Liz GreeneProgramming by Alois Treindl

Astrodienst AG, Dammstr. 23, CH-8702 Zollikon / ZürichTel. +41-44-392 18 18, Fax 391 75 74

Internet http://www.astro.com E-Mail [email protected]

Copyright Liz Greene and Astrodienst AG. Version 1.12

CHILD'S HOROSCOPEfor Joanne K. Rowling

TABLE OF CONTENTS creative inspiration * Looking to mother as asource of emotional power

I. Introduction V. Fears and Insecurities

II. The Psychological Type The fear of being different * The price of beingan individual

VI. Looking toward the future

A kind and civilised nature * Coming to termswith emotional needs * A sound body and a clearmind

A holistic approach to knowledge * Making a III. The Characters in the Story mark on the world

A child with a dedicated spirit * A conflictbetween inner and outer * Longing for thedream-world * Faith in the future * A rich in-tuitive gift * Coping with powerful emotionalneeds * Intensity of heart and will * Sensitiv-ity to suffering * Loyalty to an inner voice *The art of secret self-mythologising * A surplusof self-will * The hidden need to be adored *The importance of self-importance

A beauty-loving child * A young aesthete *Passions are hidden * Learning the value of theinstincts

IV. Emotional needs and patterns in relationships

Keep my world in order! * Special needs inrelationship with parents * Looking to father for

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I. INTRODUCTION most effectively support them according first andforemost to the child's, not the parent's, needs.

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's long- Much wise information on child-rearing can being for itself. obtained from friends, family members, doctors, They come through you but not from you, child psychologists, and the vast body of literature And though they are with you yet they belong available. But no general rules on parenting cannot to you. sufficiently honour the unique personality which

each individual child possesses. It is here that You may give them your love but not your astrology can make a profound and creative contri-thoughts, bution to our understanding of our children - and For they have their own thoughts. also to our understanding of the child we ourselves You may house their bodies but not their souls, once were. The birth horoscope of a child is a map For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, of patterns and potentials which exist in that childwhich you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. from the moment of birth. When an adult explores You may strive to be like them, but seek not to his or her birth horoscope, many of these potentialsmake them like you. have been "fleshed out" according to actual life For life goes not backward nor tarries with experiences and the choices that person has madeyesterday. over many years. Time, circumstances and

relationships with others crystallise potentials into - Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet set behaviour patterns and attitudes. In a child,

these potentials are so easily stifled by conflicting Most parents long to provide their children with family demands, thwarted by inappropriate circum-the best they can offer on every level. But what is stances, or simply ignored through lack of recog-"the best"? Less enlightened parents will see in the nition. Encouragement of these potentials in child-child a symbol of all the lost potentials of their own hood can help a child to develop greater confidenceyouth, and will envision not the future toward and hope for a future which is more authenticallywhich the child is best suited to aspire, but the his or her own, so that greater happiness andfuture which they would have wished for them- fulfillment are possible later in life.selves. More enlightened parents will understandthe wisdom of Kahlil Gibran's words, recognising Children also possess inner conflicts and in-not only the magic of the child as a symbol of new securities, and it is healthy and natural for them,life, but also the profound gift of being caretaker like adults, to sometimes feel afraid. But all humanfor a developing soul with a unique individuality beings have their own individual ways of dealingand a life journey which cannot be dictated in ad- with such fears, and some defense mechanisms mayvance. Children have their own inherent blueprint not always be recognised for what they are. Wefor life, independent of external factors. Within any may not understand the language of our children'sfamily, two children - given the same parents and fears because we do not suffer the same ones, andthe same social and economic background - will we may mock these anxieties or try to "cure" themexpress from the first days of life distinctly different in ways which are inappropriate for the child. Thepersonalities and distinctly different ways of re- birth horoscope not only reflects nascent abilities -sponding to the outside world. Children are not it also describes the ways in which any individualblank slates upon which the environment writes. If will try to protect himself or herself against life'swe wish to offer "the best" for our children, we uncertainties. Understanding the nature of aneed to discern first who they are, and how we can child's fears can be of enormous help in encourag-

ing an inner sense of security and resilience. Each

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child also has highly individual ways of expressing II. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPElove, and possesses emotional needs which are notalways the same as those of parents. One child The rich array of individual abilities andmay need very physically affectionate demon- potentials portrayed in Joanne K.'s birth horoscopestrations of love. Another child may be more cere- is set against the background of an inherent tem-bral, needing a love expressed through verbal perament bias which may be partly hereditary butcommunication and real interest in his or her is also the reflection of a mysterious essence whichthoughts and efforts to learn. Sometimes these dif- belongs to her alone. We might call this bias herferences can lead to painful misunderstandings psychological "type", for it is a typical or charac-between parent and child - each of whom may feel teristic mode in which Joanne K. is likely to re-unloved simply because their ways of loving are so spond to the situations life brings her - even in in-dissimilar. Insight into a child's unique emotional fancy. No child begins life whole or perfect, and allnature can help us to build bridges over these children have certain natural areas of aptitudedivides and relate to our children with greater love which will help them to deal with challenges, con-and tolerance. flicts and problems as life unfolds. Like the

muscles of the body, these inherently strong areas Children reflect back to us a profound insight of Joanne K.'s personality become stronger theinto life's continuity and hope for the future. more they are "worked" as she moves throughRather than trying to be "perfect" parents or create childhood into adolescence."perfect" children, we could instead try to honourand support the child's right to be an individual. A Likewise, all children have certain innate areasrelationship can then develop which contains of the personality which may be slower to respondmutual respect and recognition, and which nurtures and develop, and which may be a source of greatand heals rather than cramps, suffocates or under- anxiety during childhood. Joanne K.'s psycho-mines. The birth horoscope does not describe a logical type will not remain static and unchangingchild's "fate", nor can it provide us with any pre- through the whole of her life. There is somethingdictions of what our children will or will not within all of us - whether we call it the uncon-become in adult life - this depends primarily upon scious, the Self, or the soul - which strives over atheir own future choices. Nor can a horoscope lifetime to integrate all those qualities which areprovide the means for an unconsciously ambitious innately weak, neglected or undervalued. Thisparent to attempt to direct the child's destiny, for a mysterious "something" is already at work withinchild's individual nature will sooner or later find Joanne K., helping her to develop her personalitysome way to express itself - in spite of if not along the lines which are healthiest and most natu-because of upbringing. Instead, the horoscope ral to her. At the major archetypal junctures offaithfully reflects an inner cast of characters and an childhood this central core of her personality,inner story which awaits time and choice for its un- deeper and wiser even than the wisest parent, willfoldment. To explore the birth horoscope of a child draw Joanne K. into conflicts which enable her tois a humbling experience and a moving opportunity develop the less adapted areas of her personality soto participate in containing and honouring a new that she can grow into a more complete person.life. Life does this for us all, sooner or later. But one of

the greatest joys of interacting with a child is thepleasure of encouraging a development pattern

- - - which we know can help that child's own inner selfto achieve its goal of a unique but balanced person-ality which can cope with the great range of experi-ences life offers.

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A kind and civilised nature ingrained sense of right and wrong more highlydeveloped than that of many adults.

Joanne K. possesses a clear, strong and objectivemind, and is on her way toward developing into a Coming to terms with emotional needsperson who will always favour reason over chaosand harmony over emotional turmoil. Mental acu- Because Joanne K.'s natural bias is toward themen is apparent in her rapid grasp of concepts, her world of the mind, she may have a great fear of theobvious pleasure in communicating her ideas to power and disruptiveness of her emotions. There isothers, and her emerging identification with ethical a deep vulnerability and emotional intensity in herprinciples such as fairness. Joanne K. is an inher- which may often be in conflict with her desire toently civilised child whose nature requires courtesy, preserve harmony, clarity and fairness both withinorder, balance and clarity in all her interactions herself and in the world outside. In contrast to herwith others, in particular parents and siblings. She precociously sophisticated mind, her emotions tendalso needs considerable mental stimulation, and to be very unruly and rather raw, but theseeven if there has previously been no proclivity emotions are likely to be increasingly concealedtoward intellectual or cultural pursuits within the beneath an amiable, reasonable nature and a strongfamily, it is worth making that extra effort to meet desire to please those in authority. However, if thisher developing intellectual needs. Nothing is as pleasant surface is penetrated by upsetting experi-disturbing to Joanne K. as a narrow-minded or non- ences, the intensity and subjectivity of her emotionscommunicative family in an emotionally charged will resemble those of a much younger child.atmosphere. She is essentially a creature of the air, Because Joanne K. finds strong emotions - her ownneeding breathing space, brightness and the sense and those of others - somewhat threatening, shethat she is surrounded by friends. She is naturally will try to avoid confrontation until it is absolutelyquick and articulate, and has an innate capacity to necessary. Anger is particularly frightening, andassess, weigh and analyse diverse facts - a gift parents may need to recognise that this child is notwhich will stand her well at school and later in life. a tough street fighter and cannot cope with noisy,She is also likely to be an unusually organised aggressive family rows. This places her feelings inchild, able to structure her time and capable of rec- a kind of psychic pressure cooker, generating thoseognising the validity of others' feelings and needs - "meek as a lamb or mad as a hornet" mood fluctua-whether or not these agree with her own. This re- tions which surprise everyone around her - andsults in a fair and essentially decent nature with a most of all herself. Fits of inexplicable irritabilitygreater degree of objectivity than many children and withdrawal will not be uncommon, and shepossess. A natural mediator, Joanne K. can imme- may also be prone to sudden feelings of great lone-diately recognise what she considers "unfair" in her liness and isolation which she cannot communicate.own or others' behaviour or words - and she will do There is also a delayed reaction mechanism inwhat she can to restore equilibrium in her own Joanne K. - she may feel hurt or angered but maysmall way, even at the expense of her emotional not realise it, and will show the signs of her distressneeds. Blatant favouritism within the family, con- in indirect ways an hour or even a week later. Thisditional love based on whether parents are pleased curious time interval between event and recognitionwith her, and emotional manipulation through the of feelings is likely to increase as she gets older.imposition of guilt are extremely destructive to This may be confusing to parents who, pleased withJoanne K.'s confidence and ability to make the best their civilised and good-natured child, may over-of her developing gifts. She needs and deserves look those distress signals (such as psychosomatichonesty, clarity and reasonableness from those symptoms, loss of appetite, retreat into her room foraround her, for she is innately ethical with a deep hours on end, or sudden reluctance to go to school)

which are Joanne K.'s only real way of communi-

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cating feelings she finds overpowering and threat- material world. The challenges of homework,ening. She will already be building up an inner domestic chores, care of possessions, respect forcode of "oughts" and "shoulds" based on her in- family rules, and management of an allowance arenately ethical nature, which may grow more all likely to be learned and absorbed with a mini-sophisticated as she develops but which form the mum of fuss and trouble. Because she tends to testfundamental backdrop to her perception of life. It each new idea or concept she learns against pastis not a good idea to add too many more of these experiences, she is likely to develop into a stable,"oughts" and "shoulds" as a means of disciplining calm and naturally organised child - slow to be con-her, as she probably already has more than enough. vinced, careful and responsible, yet also eager toJoanne K. tends to burden herself with the learn new things. Common sense - rare enoughobligation of being good, and therefore she does even in many adults - is here in abundance, andnot need to have parental guilt instilled in her in Joanne K. is not likely to waste energy daydream-addition. Rather, she needs as much help and ing or starting projects which she cannot finish.encouragement as possible to recognise and value Sometimes parents or family members may beher emotional needs, even if these needs conflict tempted to place greater responsibilities on her thanwith those of other members of the family. is appropriate for a child, because she displays so

much good sense and recognition of the limits and One of the best ways parents and family mem- requirements of the mundane world. If asked tobers can help Joanne K. to make better friends with perform a task such as looking after a pet or keep-her feelings is to give her sufficient time to explore ing her room clean, she will discharge the task withthose feelings, and sufficient respect to listen to care and diligence. Also, her essentially helpfulthem when she attempts to give voice to them - and balanced nature may make her eager to take onhowever silly, exaggerated or angry they may the responsibility of looking after younger siblings,seem. Also, expressing more threatening emotions so that she can feel useful and needed.through a medium such as painting, clay or dancecan be very helpful in encouraging Joanne K. to However, it is wise to remember that Joanne K.learn to trust her own inner world. She is terribly is not simply a reasonable, well-behaved, preco-eager to please and anxious to do the right thing - ciously mature child. She has very powerful feel-and this could easily be taken advantage of by ings which she often experiences as threatening,others. She needs to learn love and compassion for and sometimes her serene outer personality willherself as she grows up. Because she will increas- crack open to reveal strong and not always pleasantingly seek to analyse and understand her experi- emotions beneath. She may also feel somewhatences, both inner and outer, fair and nonjudgmental frightened by the inner world of the imagination,communication with parents about her feelings is because she tends to derive her security from whatvery important to her well-being. Joanne K.'s many she can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Joanne K.mental gifts make her a fascinating and unusual has a strong need to control her world as much aschild, who will always attract the love and admira- possible, which in one sense is a positive qualitytion of others. These gifts need to be balanced by a because she will strive for greater and greater self-sense of self-confidence and self-worth, so that she sufficiency as she grows. But this need for controlcan learn to confront her own heart without fear. may also make her deny the value of her feelings

and fantasies because they seem uncontrollable,A sound body and a clear mind erupting out of nowhere and vanishing again. It is

possible that she may strive to become a little too Joanne K.'s unusual mental abilities are sensible and civilised too early, especially if shecombined with innate realism and a comfortable senses that this attitude will earn her love and ac-and healthy relationship with her body and with the ceptance within the family. Encouraging Joanne K.

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to develop creative outlets for spontaneous self-ex- in life-enhancing rather than divisive ways. Thepression - hobbies and projects which she can do tension between the main characters in Joanne K.'sjust for the fun of it rather than to win a prize at inner story is the source of energy which providesschool - can help her to feel more comfortable with the impetus for growth, movement and the for-her rich but sometimes threatening inner world. Her mation of a healthy individuality. And there aredreams, hopes, anxieties and fantasies need to be other, less sharply defined characters withintaken seriously by parents and family members, so Joanne K. as well - supporting players who some-that she can learn to take them seriously herself. times harmonise and sometimes conflict with theAlthough Joanne K. has great strength of character main ones. These too contribute unique elements toand will always be a "survivor" throughout her life, a unique human life. Where they are stronglyin childhood she needs to begin to understand that marked in the horoscope, we have included a"inner" is as real as "outer", and that fun and emo- description of them as well.tional spontaneity are as important as a clear mindand a responsible attitude toward life. There are A child with a dedicated spiritmany creative gifts within her which, if supportedand encouraged early in life, will blossom and take Joanne K. is earthy, solid and sensible at heart,worthwhile shape later, giving her an enduring and well adapted to the world in which she findssense that life can be joyful and full of meaning. herself. Yet as she grows up there is a spirit within

her which will restlessly strive toward somethingbeyond ordinary everyday life. During childhood

- - - this inner spirit may reveal itself as a rare capacityfor dedication to whomever or whatever she caresfor - whether this is a beloved parent, a sibling, a

III. THE CHARACTERS IN THE STORY pet or a friend. Her ability to devote herself whole-heartedly to something outside herself is unusual in

One of the most important insights gained by one so young, and the ordinary self-centredness anddepth psychology is the revelation that people are subjectivity of childhood seem somehow lacking inessentially dual in nature - some aspects of the per- the face of her strangely mature loyalty. Through-sonality are conscious and other aspects uncon- out her life she will need to feel that there is somescious. This polarity is already present in child- purpose to her existence beyond the gratification ofhood in a nascent form. Although this developing her own needs, and in her early years this search fordual self may be influenced, encouraged or meaning is likely to be expressed through devotionopposed by environmental factors, nevertheless it and dedication. Once she reaches school age, shebelongs to the individual child and will, sooner or may demonstrate her qualities of spirit through thelater, express itself in life. The interplay between taking up of causes - the championing of the classthe conscious and unconscious sides of the person- scapegoat or the rights of other pupils unfairlyality is a complex dialogue between two important treated by a teacher or headmaster. To Joanne K.inner characters who sometimes agree, sometimes love is only valid if expressed through active serv-argue, and sometimes simply ignore each other's ice on behalf of the loved one, and her instinctiveexistence. These characters within the individual perception of goodness is synonymous with goodalso change their wardrobes and show different actions and not just with good intentions. Despitefacets of behaviour and attitude at different stages her healthy appetites and appreciation of the goodof life. It is during childhood that the potential for things of this world, her guiding spirit will alwaysa creative interchange between the conscious and seek some reality beyond the physical one.unconscious aspects of the personality is mostaccessible and most easily encouraged to develop

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A conflict between inner and outer experiences. Joanne K.'s inner tug-of-war willeventually prove to be enormously creative. But

Within Joanne K. there is a tug-of-war between she may need help in understanding that there areher sensory perceptions and her imagination. Prob- two equally important but very different dimen-ably she will favour the former most of the time, sions of her personality, and that the invisible worldfor she is strongly sensual and has a deep apprecia- of fantasies and dreams is just as real as the phys-tion not only of good food and beautiful things but ical one.also of order, structure and a stable outer life. Thusshe is likely to show a lot of common sense from Longing for the dream-worldquite a young age, and will be able to competentlyhandle responsibilities and duties as well as enjoy Joanne K.'s usually happy and contented faceeveryday pleasures with gusto. Parents and family may sometimes express a lost and poignant look.members are not likely to identify her as a dreamer, Yet even when she is old enough to articulate herespecially since she will probably be very physi- feelings, she is not likely to be able to explain hercally active and energetic. Yet she has a secret in- moods of deep sadness. It is almost as though shener life which may sometimes make her restless, is yearning to return to some other time, place orirritable and discontented without any apparent rea- dimension which was once her home and which sheson. She may have unaccountable moods of deep has irrevocably lost. Physically active and wellmelancholy, or phases when nothing can please her adapted, she nevertheless has a secret sense of theand whatever she wants is always what she hasn't sorrow of the world, and is peculiarly attuned to un-got. During such periods she may be anything but happiness in loved ones - even if they are maskingsensible, and may be very difficult to deal with such feelings from themselves as well as frombecause of her impatience and fractious temper. everyone else. Even at a very young age this deep

sensitivity to the hidden feelings of others, Joanne K. needs a good deal of structure and combined with her extraordinary capacity for loy-order in her environment, and does not cope well alty, may attract her to helping others. There is awith chaos, clutter or ambiguous statements and certain self-sacrificing tendency in Joanne K. whichemotions. She can become very attached to partic- makes it hard for her to be spontaneously self-ular objects and places and may show great distress centred and confident about the supremacy of herif her security is threatened by any sudden change own needs. It is most important that parents do notin her habits and rituals. Yet when she is in one of inadvertently take advantage of her sensitivity andher moods she is capable of generating a great deal loyalty, for she can be easily exploited by thoseof chaos all by herself, sabotaging whatever order who need nourishing and unconsciously need her toparents and family members try to create and gen- parent them. Joanne K. needs help in believing inerally pushing everybody to their limits. Try to her own worth, and would benefit from encourage-help her recognise and identify the feelings and im- ment to ask for what she wants without worryingpulses that buffet her from within. Often she will that it is "wrong" or "selfish" to put herself firstbe suffering from a surfeit of routine - a routine sometimes. Because she is so attuned to the needswhich she herself may have demanded or even cre- of others, she may not pay sufficient attention toated but which suddenly and unaccountably proves her own needs. Thus she may find herself increas-too constricting for her adventurous longings. ingly suppressing her real feelings as she gets olderAlso, try not to load too much responsibility on her because she is afraid of seeming unloving. She hastoo early, even if she appears ready and willing to an oversized conscience and a profound sense ofaccept it. She has a tendency to overestimate her responsibility to others, and therefore does not needcapacity for patience and staying power, and to for- further pressure from parents or family members toget the restless spirit which constantly seeks new put them first. Parents may be forgiven for some-

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times thinking that Joanne K. is far more mature timidity. Her lively, inquiring and hopeful attitudeand adult than many children of her age. But it will always make life and people interesting to her.would be unforgivable to exploit that maturitybefore she has really had a chance to be a child. A rich intuitive gift

Faith in the future Joanne K. has a strongly intuitive nature and isfinely tuned to all the unspoken and unexpressed

Joanne K. is a small philosopher and from quite feelings and conflicts within the environment. Thisa young age may be heard proclaiming her inter- does not apply only to the family. She is also liablepretations of why things happen. The mysteries of to pick up the undercurrents in any group in whichlife will always fascinate her. So will the possibil- she is involved, whether a play group or a club orities of the future, which always appear to her class at school. In addition, her unusual intuitivehappy, positive and full of promise. She is not gift is not limited to current emotional issues. Sheafraid of life, and has an innate sense of being has a deep feeling of connection with the past, and"lucky" - which really means that she assumes life issues within the family background - some ofwill be kind and that there will always be a pot of which may go back a long way - are felt and sensedgold at the end of the rainbow. Sometimes it may by her as though they were still real and present. Inseem that she actively seeks difficult challenges, fact they still are, at an unconscious collectivesince they test her need to believe in a wise and level, and it is to this level that Joanne K. isbenign force at work in life. If she can win the attuned. Such a gift offers both difficulties anddesired prize or achieve the desired goal in the face benefits, and parents and family members need toof obstacles and competition, then this is an understand her virtually psychic nature so that sheaffirmation of her "luck". Joanne K. has a unique can be encouraged to work with her sensitivityblend of realism and a visionary and far-ranging creatively rather than feeling herself the victim ofspirit which peers around the corner into the future it.in pursuit of a wonderful destiny. This combina-tion allows her to meet challenges with optimism She may sometimes feel confused and anxious,and buoyancy. she can be surprisingly wise because she is experiencing confusion and anxietybecause her perspective of life is broad and toler- around her and cannot separate her own feelingsant. As she gets older she will probably love giving from those of the group of which she is a part. It isadvice to younger siblings and friends - although therefore important that family members make theshe may be bad at taking advice (particularly par- effort to be honest with themselves and with eachental) because she usually feels she knows better. other about their feelings toward each other. Re-She also has a restless and inquisitive mind which pression of important emotional issues will createquestions everything - especially intellectual problems for Joanne K., since she intuits whatauthority, whether religious, political or scientific. everybody else is trying to avoid. Strong emotionsShe may have some difficulty in adapting to school and impulses such as anger or the desire for greaterrules, not because she is incapable of discipline but freedom are far better aired so that she is not con-because she has a low boredom threshold and may fused by seeing one thing and sensing another. Im-find an unimaginative subject or teacher tiresome portant issues from family history - illness, forand dreary. She is eager to learn and expand her example, or the pain and struggle of immigrantsfund of knowledge about all sorts of things, but seeking to find a place for themselves - also need toneeds to be inspired before she expresses her real be openly discussed with her when she is oldpotentials. Physically as well as mentally restless, enough to understand. This is especially true ofshe may be the first to try some daring feat, issues involving grandparents, which many parentsespecially if other children display reluctance or prefer not to talk about if they feel embarrassment

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or anger about their own parents' lives or behav- onciling her rather dominant nature with her innateiour. But Joanne K. will unfailingly sense what her desire to be helpful to others. It is important thatparents are trying to hide or ignore. If she is parents and family members do not overstate theencouraged to make a connection between what she evils of "selfishness". This term has no universalis feeling and what has happened (even to people definition except in the eyes of the person wieldingwho are no longer alive) it will help her to under- it as a weapon. To paraphrase the words of thestand her unusual gift and experience it as a source American writer Ambrose Bierce, selfishnessof wisdom and inspiration rather than a source of describes a situation where someone else has thefear. Family secrets can be extremely distressing to audacity to think he or she is more important than Iher because they are not secrets - she feels them am. If Joanne K. is bludgeoned too often witheven if she does not know what they mean. The accusations of selfishness, she may ultimately re-unconscious psyche - individual and collective - is sort to manipulative tactics to get her own way anda living reality for this child, even if it is not for preserve a feeling of autonomy - without realisingother family members. And because of her serious she is doing so. Be honest with her and help her toand devoted nature, she will feel obligated to try to value her great strength of will and passionate na-heal or help wherever she senses pain or distress. ture, for then she can find healthy ways of balanc-Parents should therefore make every effort to ing these qualities with her loyalty and generosityunderstand her inner world, rather than suppressing of heart.their own and convincing her that she is in someway strange or abnormal in her all too accurate Intensity of heart and willperceptions.

Because Joanne K. is possessive and wants toCoping with powerful emotional needs absolutely own anyone or anything she loves, she

may find it hard to share the love of parents with Joanne K.'s powerful emotional needs may other family members. She may be prone to re-cause her conflict as she grows up because they sentful sulks and silences if she feels ignored, andchallenge her devoted and loyal nature, attuned to may resort to highly manipulative tactics to drawbeing "good" in the deepest sense. She feels con- love and attention back to herself. This is not un-siderable aggression and possessiveness as well as usual for any young child, but Joanne K. is liable toa strong desire to control and own what she loves. feel great conflict about her possessive feelings.Yet at the same time she is sensitive to the feelings She may be afraid that too much emotional inten-of those she cares for and instinctively moral and sity will drive others away, or that too strong an in-decent in her attitude toward other people. In early sistence on having her own way will result in themchildhood this conflict may reveal itself through becoming angry. Thus there may be many complexdramatic swings in attitude. She may display ex- feelings hidden under the surface which emergetreme self-will at one moment and then in the next only under great stress, when she feels reallymoment feel dreadfully anxious, guilty and fearful threatened with separation from loved ones. Ifof being rejected by those around her. She may parents and family members find intensity ofthen try to overcompensate by being especially emotion disturbing or distasteful, they may covertlydevoted and dutiful, and wind up feeling frustrated if not openly denigrate Joanne K.'s powerful emo-and angry - thus starting the cycle all over again. tional and instinctual needs. This could deeplyEven if no rejection is forthcoming after a bout of undermine her confidence, since she already carriesbad behaviour, Joanne K. carries within her her her own fear that she is somehow bad because sheown sense of right and wrong and can be her own feels so deeply and wants things so strongly.worst judge without additional parental censuring. Therefore it is important that parents are able toAs she gets older Joanne K. may need help in rec- face their own powerful emotions as much as

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possible and learn to handle them with greater no one has asked for her help directly. Try not tohonesty and equanimity. They can then genuinely play "happy families" all the time. She knowshelp Joanne K. to value and express her great inten- perfectly well when people are performing andsity without the imposition of guilt and self-deni- masking their difficulties, and she will only end upgration. The most important area where these carrying the entire burden of sadness for loved onesissues are likely to surface is in the sphere of emo- if they refuse to face their own issues. Also, shetional possession of loved ones. She needs to feel has an innate knowledge of the fact that life can bethat her loved ones are as absolutely loyal and true wonderful and equally often dreadfully unfair.to her as she is toward them. She will not forget Self-pity is not a very helpful emotion to show herbetrayal, deceit or callousness, even if totally in- when her realism tells her there is no place for it.advertent. Equally, she will not forget kindness, Joanne K. will mature into a wonderfully wise andloyalty and generosity. Although she may need to compassionate individual. The more openness andacquire more objectivity and humour about herself honesty parents can offer about life's good and badas she grows up, her intense feelings are part of her sides, the better able she will be to integrate thisdeep capacity for loyalty and commitment and knowledge and express her insights in creative andshould never be toyed with or mocked. constructive ways.

Sensitivity to suffering Loyalty to an inner voice

Joanne K. has an instinctive wisdom about Thus Joanne K. is fascinating and complex, con-human suffering and loneliness which many adults taining within her two powerful extremes - an in-never acquire. She is not only sensitive to the feel- tense emotional and instinctual nature and a highlyings of others - she also compassionate and genu- active imaginative and spiritual life. In adulthoodinely wishes to help another's distress. This, these two poles of her nature will probably findcombined with the devotional qualities of her na- their best expression through commitment to ature, may later in life lead her into work in one of vocation in which she can contribute somethingthe helping professions such as medicine or practical to life which also fulfills her deeply feltpsychotherapy, since she experiences a natural ideals. But during childhood she may find it verydesire to heal or make better anything she finds difficult to balance two such opposing elements,wrong or damaged. Her need to care for others since the ideals are not yet formed and she willmay be expressed toward siblings when they are ill need time to learn containment of her powerful in-or unhappy, and she may also display it at school stinctual needs. She needs structure and stability intoward children who are handicapped or scape- her material environment yet at the same time re-goated in some way. Joanne K. has a sense of deep quires room for her imagination and inquisitiveempathy with all life's lonely and outcast people, mind to explore both the inner and outer worlds.and may choose her friends among the under- The more parents and family members can helpprivileged rather than among those who might seem Joanne K. to get to recognise her internal dichoto-more "suitable" to the family. She will also in- my and value both sides, the more confident shestinctively sense pain or sadness in her parents, will feel in expressing both her earthiness and hereven if this belongs to an earlier period in their innate spirituality. The glue which binds her com-lives and has been hidden or suppressed. It would plex nature is her deep commitment to life and herbe a good idea if parents could be honest with her profound capacity for love and loyalty - preciousabout their life experiences, especially if painful qualities which should never be exploited but willevents have happened. Joanne K. can feel things always be appreciated and valued by those who areeven if they are not articulated, and she will try to fortunate enough to have her love.follow her instinctive healing inclinations even if

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The art of secret self-mythologising A surplus of self-will

Although Joanne K. needs to devote herself to Joanne K.'s devotional and deeply responsibleothers (and preferably in a practical way), neverthe- nature is challenged from within by intense self-less she is secretly very individualistic and self-ex- will. This will probably be obvious very early inpressive. She has a private fantasy world in which her life. However, as she gets older it is likely thatshe is the main - indeed, the only - character in the this assertive, competitive and even aggressive sideplay, and other people are mere extensions of her of her character will be suppressed in favour of herown needs, existing solely for her gratification. more order-loving and peaceable qualities.This intensely egocentric quality is not, however, Secretly she hates being thwarted or coming sec-mere "selfishness", but reflects a sense of special- ond, especially when she has to share love, timeness which provides a very important balance to her and possessions with siblings or friends. She wantsinclination toward self-sacrifice and the nourishing to be first and best, but may stifle these aggressiveof others' needs. Her secret self-mythologising has feelings - partly because she fears being unloveda grand theatrical quality, and it is through these and partly because her own innate morality dictateshighly coloured fantasies that she comes in touch that aggression is bad. Good people, in herwith the greater archetypal forces at work in life. estimation, always obey the rules and considerConsequently everything that takes place within her others first. Joanne K. is not able to sustain suchimaginary world is larger than life, and she always obedient behaviour for any length of time, and isplays the heroic part. she is the child of royalty, or capable of erupting like Krakatoa when parentsof divine parentage; she has a great and unique least expect it. Her competitive spirit may lead todestiny which makes her different from other chil- fights with siblings and troublemaking at school.dren; she will not always be bound by the limits of Rather than punishing her for what appears to beeveryday reality but will one day come into her unbridled temper or self-centredness, parents mayown and be recognised. The overthrowing of harsh need to understand the nature of her internal con-authority is likely to play a large part in her fantasy- fusion. She wants desperately to be a good person,world (as the young hero or heroine overthrows the and this invariably means acting in ways whichwicked tyrant in countless myths and fairy tales). meet the approval of others. Yet her tendency toSuch fantasies compensate for the sense of re- impose restrictions on herself can be excessive, andstriction she sometimes feels at having to accom- there will inevitably be a backlash in directmodate the outside world and the needs of other proportion to how rigourously she tries to stifle herpeople. But grandiose as all this may sound, she own self-expression. If parents place too muchneeds to learn to be a little more appreciative of emphasis on unquestioning obedience and selfless-herself and not so sensitive to what others need ness, then her eruptions are likely to be muchfrom her. This hidden side of her personality can worse, since this situation exacerbates her alreadyprotect her from exploitation because, properly in- overly developed conscience. Freud called thistegrated, it will provide her with a solid conviction voice of conscience the superego, and Joanne K.of her own worth. And the sense of uniqueness in- has rather too much of it. Achievements - artistic,herent in these daydreams is the raw stuff of a deep scholastic or athletic - can be of enormous valuesense of personal destiny which will contribute the because they allow her to compete and claim thevital elements of meaning and purpose to her life as approval she needs while at the same time fittingshe grows up. within a recognised framework of appropriate be-

haviour. If she is encouraged to apply her self-assertive impulses to situations where she reallycan win, fairly and honourably, she will not grow

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up ashamed of this vital and positive dimension of of it. If she is taught that she is lovable only if sheher character. looks after others' needs, the self-aggrandising side

of her personality will surface covertly, and all herThe hidden need to be adored motives will be coloured by her secret need to be

powerful and important. Joanne K. is entitled to be Joanne K. sometimes retreats into a secret world special and wonderful without always having towhere she is adored and idolised and receives earn it. If she can be guided with wisdom and em-nothing but love and praise from others. She wants pathy, she will be able to integrate her need forbadly to be special and loved in her own right, self-expression with her equally powerful need towithout having to earn the appreciation through contribute to others' happiness.doing good things. She is therefore especiallyvulnerable to conditional love - where affection and The importance of self-importancepraise are offered in accordance with how well-behaved she is, but are withheld if she does not live Thus there is a secret exhibitionist alive and wellup to parental expectations. Such emotional manip- within Joanne K. who craves adoration, attentionulation can hurt Joanne K. deeply because she and a special and exalted position in life. She pos-wants so badly to be unconditionally loved yet sesses an intense and passionate nature which mayfinds it very hard to recognise that she is lovable cause her quite a lot of conflict throughout child-without offering some practical act of help or serv- hood, because she fears being selfish and bad andice to earn it. Loyalty and a capacity for deep dedi- dreads the disapproval of those on whom shecation to others does not preclude her enjoying the depends for her sense of security. But if she doesadulation which pleasing others might bring. But if not express her fiery and dramatic spirit, she maylove is used as payment for doing what others want, suffer from feelings of deep envy toward other chil-it will undermine her sense of what is right and dren, as well as feelings of inferiority and loss ofwrong and will erode her inner feeling of self- confidence in herself. She may also express her re-worth. sentment toward her self-imposed bondage through

periodic eruptions of a very disruptive and dis- In her fantasies she longs to be a star, and she agreeable kind. She needs the occasional chance tomay also carry hidden aspirations that one day she flaunt herself without disapproval or criticism fromwill be someone terribly big and important in the parents and family members. To achieve this sheworld. While she may ultimately succeed in this - must be able, at least some of the time, to feel freefor a sense of personal destiny is usually one of the of family expectations - particularly of the uncon-ingredients of great achievement - she really longs scious variety - and feel valued as an ordinary,to have this exalted status simply because she is occasionally naughty child. She needs to be givenwonderful, special and better than others, and not generous praise and admiration without being madebecause she has done anything to earn it. There is a to feel guilty about wanting it. This will help her tovery delicate balance toward which Joanne K. meet the challenge of her highly complex nature, soneeds to work. She needs to express her creative that as she gets older and moves toward adulthoodabilities (with all the appreciation and personal she will be able to be more honest with herself andpower this brings) while at the same time knowing others, and will blend the equally energetic but verythat she is a worthwhile and valuable person even if different sides of her nature in the most positiveshe is not doing extraordinary things. Encourage and life-enhancing ways.her to appreciate herself as the individual she is, butat the same time help her to recognise that she is anordinary mortal just like everybody else and there-fore needs to put into life what she hopes to get out

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Another important pair of characters the family - peace, courtesy and civilisation canstill be found, so that she can make her forays out

The characters described so far represent into the world knowing that a place of shelter andJoanne K.'s essential inner dialogue between the serenity awaits her at home.main conscious life-orientation and the hidden un-conscious strengths which, if recognised and inte- A young aesthetegrated, can round out the personality. Besidesthese figures, there are other inner characters in- Thus Joanne K. was born with an inherent lovedicated in the birth chart which are likely to of beauty and balance, and she will always feelemerge as Joanne K. develops, and which are happy and contented if she can find enough peacedescribed briefly below. and harmony in her environment. Although some-

times light and apparently frivolous, she is notA beauty-loving child shallow, for she possesses considerable intelligence

and an instinctive understanding of other people's Refinement, grace and delicacy of soul are qual- needs and differences. But she finds the deep, darkities which belong to the core of Joanne K.'s nature. places of the emotional realm distinctly uncomfort-A tranquil world is almost as necessary to her as able, and anything too primitive or intense frightensfood and affection. She recoils from anything base, her unless it is enclosed within a fairytale ambiencecoarse or brutish, whether on the physical or the and has a happy ending. She is blessedly free ofemotional level, and in early childhood may show any need to dominate others, and is capable ofher distress at prolonged exposure to this rougher being extremely and genuinely kind to siblings andside of life through constant crying or psychoso- friends and sincerely courteous to strangers. Lifematic symptoms. She may find it hard to compre- will one day challenge her to develop a greaterhend or accept uncivilised behaviour - either in understanding and acceptance of the cruderothers or in herself. Innately refined and gentle, dimensions of human (and her own) nature, for sheshe carries an inner image of harmony which she will not be able to dwell in a dream-world forever.seeks to have confirmed by the world outside. But if parents and family members can appreciateWhen the world does not accord with this image, and respond to her deep need for harmony, her loveshe may withdraw into her fantasies and attempt to of knowledge and craftsmanship and her refinedavoid situations and individuals who threaten to tastes, they can help her to find the confidence todestroy her tranquillity. Thus she may have a hard gradually accommodate those aspects of realitytime standing up to tougher, more aggressive sib- which she finds so threatening. Even if the pursuitlings who do not observe the rules of fair play, and of culture and beauty is not a usual family pastime,she is particularly sensitive to outbursts of physical try to provide as much aesthetic, artistic and in-or emotional violence. Even if parents and family tellectual stimulation for Joanne K. as possiblemembers are used to shouting matches or smashed while she is growing up. The more her deepestplates and do not take their displays of anger seri- needs and values are acknowledged by her lovedously, she will never accustom herself to such be- ones, the happier and better integrated she will be.haviour, and it would be best if some effort weremade to curtail the worst excesses of bad temper in Passions are hiddenher presence. Harsh words said in the heat of themoment may not matter to an irritable parent, but Joanne K.'s innate refinement may make itthey will matter to Joanne K. for a long, long time. difficult for her to handle her own strong passionsShe is not a fragile hothouse flower who needs to as she grows up. Despite her need for harmony herbe cosseted and protected from life. But she does emotions and appetites can be raw, potent and any-need to know that somewhere - preferably within thing but civilised. It is hard enough for many

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adults to fully integrate their more primitive in- dren. Joanne K. needs to enjoy being a child more.stincts, and Joanne K. may need a good deal of Her innate refinement, refreshing and endearing,understanding and support from parents as she tries can sometimes make her precociously discriminat-to come to terms with this hidden side of her per- ing and restrained, isolating her from her peers andsonality. In early childhood her emotions may undermining her capacity to be forthright and open.erupt in a perfectly ordinary way, but as her indi- The hidden side of her personality is really a greatviduality forms she will begin to conceal and even strength, providing a much needed vitality, tough-disown her cruder feelings and needs. Yet such ness and emotional depth which can help her tobasic instincts are not only healthy and natural - keep her feet on the ground while her mind andthey can also offer her a necessary toughness and imagination traverse those higher intellectual andresilience in the face of external pressure and ex- imaginative spheres which are her natural abode.ploitation. This secret side of Joanne K. is veryphysically vital too, and contains great reserves ofenergy and a healthy sensuality which can allow - - -her to enjoy the good things of material life. If shecan learn to accommodate this earthier and morehuman aspect of herself, it will provide her with IV. EMOTIONAL NEEDS ANDgreater confidence and the ability to stand up for PATTERNS IN RELATIONSHIPSherself when facing conflict. She will also be ableto display more honesty and authenticity in her in- The means by which we find happiness andteraction with others. Parents and family members nourishment through others become more complex,may, for their own reasons, prefer Joanne K. when subtle and diverse as we progress from infancy toshe is exclusively gentle, accommodating and eager adulthood. But our fundamental emotional needsto please. But the rougher, tougher, more forthright reflect our individual characters and in essence doside of her nature is very necessary for her to devel- not change. Every child has particular ways inop into a balanced and confident individual. which he or she experiences and seeks emotional

contact with others, and this may not alwaysLearning the value of the instincts accord with other, more dominant personality

traits. Thus Joanne K.'s civilised, peaceable andbeauty-loving personality contrasts strongly with an Keep my world in order!intense, willful and competitive quality which maybe increasingly hidden as she gets older. She fears In keeping with her essentially realistic andthat she will not be loved unless she is always kind, well-grounded nature, Joanne K.'s deepest need inthoughtful and diplomatic. Also, she has an innate relation to others is the feeling that they canideal of goodness which makes her judge her own provide an order and structure which keeps thebehaviour too harshly. Her courteous manner and world together. Although she may sometimes befine mind make her a delight to be with, but parents temperamental and moody, such emotional displaysand family members could easily begin to take her reflect her anxiety in the face of change or dis-conciliatory nature for granted. At school she is ruption, and it is a calm and ordered manner whichalso likely to realise very quickly that cleverness she most needs from others at such moments.combined with good behaviour will earn her more Joanne K. tends to equate emotional security withpraise than rambunctious high spirits or displays of the everyday glue that holds life in place - the sameaggressiveness. She may therefore seek to please Cornflakes with the family at breakfast, the sameteachers in ways which suppress her natural walk around the park in the afternoon, the samespontaneity and draw animosity from other chil- ritual of feeding the cat in the evening. Calmness,

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familiarity and practical helpfulness are vital But she has an innately kind and decent heart andaspects of what she needs from and tries to give to genuinely enjoys being helpful to others. Maliceothers. She wants to be certain that loved ones will and deliberate cruelty will always shock her as shebe the same today as they were yesterday, and that has virtually none in her own nature, and love andif others get angry or behave in an unpredictable caring behaviour are synonymous in her mind.fashion they will be able to provide an explanation Shallow and changeful affections, love which isand life can go back to what it was before the crisis. offered with implicit conditions, and effusive decla-The importance of her deep need for ritual and rations of devotion which are not backed up by realroutine in relationships should never be underesti- practical support are all painful and deeply threat-mated. She does not relate to others impulsively - ening to her. She possesses the traditional virtuesshe grows to love and trust deeply through the of loyalty and loving service in relation to otherspassage of time and the process of experiencing and deserves the same in return.loved ones as reliable and consistent regardless ofouter circumstances.

Special needs in relationship with parents So great is Joanne K.'s need for stability andorder in her emotional world that she may some- There are different needs in relation to mothertimes demand impossible guarantees that loved and father - not only based on the obvious fact ofones will always be there. She may become very the sexual difference between parents, but alsoanxious and insecure if constant affirmations of based on the child's own personality make-up andlove are not forthcoming. She also places enor- way of interacting with each parent as an individu-mous importance on physical gestures of love - not al. Just as every child's character is unique andonly the showing of affection but also the giving of inherent, so too are that child's feelings and emo-gifts and tokens - because these constitute "proof" tional requirements in relation to parents, siblingsthat she is loved. There is much uncertainty in her and friends. Gaining some understanding of theseabout whether she "deserves" love, but her great requirements can help family members provide atshyness and fear of ridicule ensure that such doubts least some of these fundamental needs, therebyare likely to surface only as a "Thank you but I offering an environment which - to use the words ofdon't really need you" attitude which is meant to Winicott - is "good enough" to allow the child toprotect her deep feelings of vulnerability. Parents develop his or her relationships with greater innermay be fooled into thinking that she is more self- security and trust.sufficient and emotionally independent than sheactually is, and if she is feeling really unsure of Looking to father for creative inspirationherself she may coldly reject others' efforts to getclose rather than risk being hurt. However, any Joanne K.'s perception of her father is primarilydemonstration of genuine interest and appreciation a sensitive and poetic one - an image of man asmeans a great deal to her, and she never forgets an artist, visionary and mystic. Even if her father feelsact of spontaneous kindness or a gesture of help anything but artistic or mystical, Joanne K. attachesoffered without a price tag attached. Most im- some sense of romantic mystery to him and a goodportantly, Joanne K. experiences relationships as a deal of idealism colours her love. Whereas somesource of order and stability, and she therefore daughters want their fathers to be heroic andneeds as much steadiness, reliability and honest successful, she loves her father for all his humancommunication as possible from parents, family imperfections and is unusually responsive to anymembers and friends. She may sometimes be sadness or sense of failure in life which he mightoverly serious about her feelings and a little touchy carry. Joanne K. does not want or need a perfectabout anything that sounds like criticism or teasing. father, but she needs enough emotional contact to

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discover who her father really is and how he feels Looking to mother as a source of emotionalabout life. The sense of mystery which she feels powerabout him is potentially a highly creative experi-ence, for it opens up her imagination and allows her Joanne K. has an image of her mother as a figureto weave magical stories around him. Even if his of great emotional depth and power. This imagelife is externally prosaic and unexciting, Joanne K. borders on the mythic, for the girl imagines myste-secretly believes her father is really somebody else rious hidden depths in her mother, and is fascinated- a frustrated artist or an unacknowledged vision- - and a little frightened - by them. It does notary. Such romantic dreams are very valuable. But matter if her mother feels tired, stressed and any-they also need to be grounded through a solid emo- thing but deep and powerful. Joanne K. perceivestional relationship which allows her to experience her not just as "mother" but as a mysterious andher father as a real and fallible person rather than a magical being, and the daughter will respond to hervanishing figure of mystery and unobtainability - mother's emotional needs with a combination of in-for the absence of a solid emotional bond would tense loyalty, awe and a touch of anxiety. On theinevitably affect her later expectations of the men most profound level Joanne K. wants her mother toin her life. be complex, subtle and unfathomable. The emo-

tional world which the girl seeks to explore with Joanne K. longs to share her father's inner world her mother is not the superficial "Have a nice day,of dreams, and therefore the quality of the time darling" level of emotional exchange. Joanne K. isfather and daughter spend together is extremely im- perceptive and knows that people are much moreportant - even if family conflicts or work pressures complicated than they seem. The greater emotionalnecessitate periodic separations. Parental battles honesty there is between mother and daughter, andshould never be used as a justification for interfer- the more able Joanne K.'s mother is to express whating with the very vulnerable but very deep emo- she really feels - even if these feelings are very in-tional bond between father and daughter, and it is tense or not quite conventionally "acceptable" - themost important that Joanne K.'s father endeavours more able Joanne K. will be to trust and value herto preserve the continuity of the emotional bond own deeper feelings as she grows up. This caneven if external pressures or conflicts with other provide her with a sound and healthy emotionalfamily members make this difficult to achieve. He base of self-knowledge, so that she can move outmay also discover much of his own unlived crea- into life with genuine tolerance of and compassiontivity through exploring the world of the imagi- for the whole spectrum of human emotion.nation with his daughter - listening to music togeth-er, painting, reading stories, and sharing his own Joanne K. is deeply attuned to her mother'sdreams and feelings. Joanne K.'s love of her father hidden emotional life, and may sense more aboutis intense and idealised. This idealisation needs to her mother than the mother herself is conscious of.be balanced by plenty of ordinary human inter- Hiding dark family secrets can be very hurtful andaction. But Joanne K. also needs to be able to undermining because Joanne K. knows when herjourney through mysterious and magical inner land- mother is deceiving her - even if the deception isscapes with her father. Although there are inevi- inadvertent. Suppressed resentment or anger in thetably experiences which no two people can wholly mother will make itself known to the daughter asshare, a willingness on the part of her father to ex- loudly as if she were hearing a radio broadcast, andplore the inner world of the imagination with his could provoke considerable anxiety. Joanne K. isdaughter can help Joanne K. to develop greater not afraid of her mother's depths - only of herconfidence in her own creative potentials. silences and her refusal to express her feelings.

The girl does not need a mother who is always nice,good and polite. She loves and admires her mother

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for her rich depth of feeling - even if these feelings experiences personal fears as real, objective andare sometimes very raw. But because Joanne K. threatening - whether they belong to the outerperceives her mother as a figure of great power, any world or the inner. Calling such fears silly is notform of emotional manipulation (such as brooding only unhelpful - it is downright destructive. To thesilences meant to punish the girl when she has done child they are not silly at all and may reflect notsomething wrong) can be unnecessarily threatening. only important personality issues but also uncon-Joanne K. also perceives her mother as emotionally scious conflicts in the family psyche which thestrong, not helpless and victimised, and may be adults are not in touch with but which the childdeeply confused by a show of martyrdom which perceives all too clearly. Listening to a child'sshe knows to be false. This rare and special bond fears with an open mind and heart can, at a for-of profound emotional affinity could be a source of mative period of life, provide what every humangreat healing, understanding and compassion for being most needs - a sense that his or her reality,both mother and daughter. For this reason the bond full of unpredictability and menace as well asneeds to be held in the light, not submerged in the beauty, joy and meaning, is taken seriously. Fearshadows. Through it Joanne K. can discover that is always far less frightening when shared thanher own strong emotions and passions are a rich when it is confronted alone.and valuable part of her womanhood.

The fear of being different

- - - Although her focus is primarily on the needs andfeelings of others, Joanne K. has a deep need to ex-press her feelings, fantasies and visions. She has a

V. FEARS AND INSECURITIES fertile and colourful inner world, and her urge toencapsulate this world in forms which others can

Every child, like every adult, experiences fear - see and understand is one of her most fundamentalfear of objects and situations that belong to "real" motivations. But as she gets older she may experi-life, and fear of inchoate things which loom in the ence considerable conflict in her efforts to expressnight and seem absurd or strange in the bright light herself, for she has an instinctive understanding ofof day. Fear is a powerful motivator in all human the dilemma which is likely to ensue. Any directbeings. It can work negatively, making us defensive expression of individuality sets a person apart fromand closed to life, and it can work positively, mak- others, because it is a firm and irrevocable state-ing us develop strengths and talents which begin as ment of personal identity. Joanne K. knows thisa means of self-protection and end as important deep in her heart and fears the criticism and envy ofassets of the personality. A child's fears have not others. She also fears the isolation of being differ-yet crystallised into those rigid defense mechanisms ent. The exposure of an individual's inner world iswhich cause so many adults to block off important a fundamental human challenge, and fear of thedimensions of their natures. Responding to a consequences is often the reason why many peoplechild's panic with insight may save many years of feel creatively "blocked". Joanne K. has a deepthe child become adult struggling with an en- awareness that to be creative is to be individual,trenched defensive pattern. Moreover, a child's and to be individual is to separate oneself fromfears can point toward profound archetypal issues others. Even though she longs to express herselfwhich, dealt with in a spirit of understanding and she may inexplicably lose interest and abandon acompassion, reveal the wellsprings of nascent val- creative project, or claim that she "can't" do it. Orues, creative potential and individual identity. Just she may simply follow the crowd, refusing to offeras one man's meat is another's poison, one child's any unique contribution which might set her apartfears are another's playground. Yet every child from family and peers.

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As she gets older she may develop certain char- sequences of such striving. Self-expression isacteristic defences to assuage her fear of expressing necessary for all human beings, and more so forherself. She may seek refuge in relationships with Joanne K. than for many others. No matter howother, more confidently creative children in the intense her identification with others might be, lifehope that such a relationship will somehow allow will only reveal its joy and meaning to her if sheher a glimpse of the magical world without her hav- feels she has a unique contribution to make. Hering to take the risk of revealing herself. She may fears are surprisingly realistic, and the primary onealso find ways of expressing herself which show is fear of the envy - and consequent rejection - oftechnical skill but lack any real emotional involve- others. Envy is a peculiarly human emotion, andment and exposure. Her drawings may be pretty can sometimes be immensely creative because itbut imitative and her stories or poems safely con- helps us to be conscious of what we value and spursventional - as though she were determined to us to strive harder for what we want. Envy fromproduce only things which earn her praise but in- others is also the inevitable consequence of daringvolve no threat. She needs to be encouraged to to move beyond identification with the collectiveshow greater spontaneity in what she creates, for and offering some reflection of a unique inner spir-her fear of criticism and rejection may frustrate any it. Like a jealous parent, the collective may begenuine expression of originality. enraged when its children leave home. Thus envy

can also be ugly and corrosive, expressed as spite Joanne K. is also prone to confuse the success of and the desire to destroy the person who inspires it.her creative endeavours with her intrinsic lov- Joanne K. has an instinctive awareness of the prob-ability. She is deeply afraid of rejection and lem of envy. Every effort she makes toward in-harbours many doubts about her worth. She may dependent and original expression raises the deeptherefore try to use her talents as a means of buying fear that someone somewhere will make her pay forthe love and appreciation of others. But this would it.leave her with even greater anxiety because shewould feel obligated to keep performing all the Yet if she does not break through the barrier oftime, terrified that if she stopped she would be un- her fear and find ways of expressing the vibrant lifewanted and abandoned. Any criticism of her within her she herself may be sorely afflicted byefforts - however valid and kindly offered - may be feelings of envy toward those who have achievedinterpreted as a profound personal rejection and she the freedom of expression she seeks. For this rea-may react by withdrawing and refusing to try again. son parents can be enormously helpful by taking aShe is also deeply hurt by envious remarks, which genuine and enthusiastic interest in any creativeshe tends to interpret as a sign of others' dislike activities which attract her. Interest and enthusi-rather than as an indirect form of validation. asm, however, are not the same as pressure, and itParents may need to be especially conscious of any would hurt and undermine Joanne K. deeply ifsecret envy of their own toward Joanne K.. For parents tried to fulfill their own unlived aspirationsalthough such feelings are perfectly natural, if un- through her creative achievements. Nor is artisticconscious they may be expressed as cutting excellence the object - it does not matter if Joannecriticism or a hurtful lack of enthusiasm for her K. displays only an average talent in recognisedefforts. creative spheres such as painting or writing. It is

her joy and excitement in the process of creatingThe price of being an individual which are so vitally important, and the sense of

self-discovery which can allay so much of her self- Beneath Joanne K.'s very personal defence doubt. The mystery of creative expression is notmechanisms lies the basic human dilemma of the confined within specifically artistic spheres of life.individual's need to be an individual - and the con- The act of living is itself creative, if we can infuse

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it with something of our own unique being. It is A holistic approach to knowledgethis ability to pour her whole self into life whichJoanne K. most needs to discover. If she can Joanne K.'s chief object of energy and commit-perceive the mirror of her specialness and value in ment is other people, but the whole wide world is athe eyes of parents who do not make their love con- place of interest and everything in it a subjectditional on outer accomplishment, she will find the worthy of study. As she grows up she may show aconfidence necessary to discover her own unique special interest in 'big' social or political issues, forcreative path. her mental interests seek broader and broader hori-

zons. Her inquisitiveness and desire for a broadperspective of life are likely to make her an ener-

- - - getic and lively student at school, and her need tocommunicate her ideas to other people suits her toclasses which allow room for discussion and

VI. LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE debate. Learning should be an extremely positiveexperience for her, with one possible drawback -

Every child has a unique fund of potentials she may find many subjects and teachers toowhich can best be encouraged through an individu- narrow in nature, and may find it hard to acceptal educational approach. However, most children well-worn ideas which are collectively acceptablemust "make do" with what is available to them but past their prime. Intuitive and imaginative inthrough local schools. In Western countries educa- her thinking, she may become bored and restless iftion, in accord with our present world-view, a subject or teacher is too narrow or limited in out-primarily consists of the acquisition of practical look. Areas of knowledge which involve a degreeskills and specialised knowledge. Regardless of of speculation and imaginative guessing may provewhether this particular approach is suited to every fascinating, but she may not always be willing to dochild, or even "right" in the broader philosophical the necessary hard work required. She needs con-or moral sense, children must to a great extent stant mental challenges to get the best out of heradapt their own individual abilities to the prevail- restless and inquisitive mind, and if these are un-ing trend. Some can achieve this easily, some do so available in the classroom then extracurricularonly by denying their own natures, and others courses and hobbies may be essential to restore heraccomplish little because they simply cannot make curiosity and enthusiasm.themselves into what they are not. Educationalfacilities may be found which place greater The highly receptive quality of Joanne K.'s mindemphasis on a more holistic world-view, or on the ensures that her feeling of personal affinity withimaginative and creative dimensions of a child's teachers will strongly affect her performance atdevelopment. But the cost of such facilities may be school. A huge, amorphous educational establish-beyond many parents' reach. Nevertheless, so im- ment would not suit her, for her innate love ofmense is the power of innate individuality that learning is highly influenced by the quality of thewhatever limits may exist in the educational envi- individuals offering that learning. Therefore aronment, any child - given sufficient parental smaller school where personal attention and interestunderstanding and encouragement of natural can be offered would be preferable to one with highaptitudes - can find the confidence to discover his academic standards but where she vanishes amidstor her appropriate path in life. the throng. Most importantly, the inclusive and pro-

gressive qualities of her mind need to be recognisedand supported. She can work comfortably withlogical concepts but needs room for speculativethinking. The wider the curriculum, and the more

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flexible the individual teachers, the happier she is will always seek to rise to a place in the world fromlikely to be at school. Outside activities which which she can accomplish real and enduringencourage learning - clubs, societies, additional changes. Because as an adult she will need to feelclasses - may also prove helpful, and travel and ex- she has contributed something lasting - in howeverposure to other cultures and languages would be an small a degree - she should always be encouragedinspiration to her curiosity about life and people. to aim high. But she must aim for her own chosenMost helpful of all would be an active mental life goal (even if it changes regularly) rather than onewithin the family, where learning and the explora- chosen for her by others. She will find confidencetion of ideas are treated with as much respect as the and fulfillment from the achievement of worthwhilemore practical aspects of life. objectives, and as she matures her eyes will be

focussed not merely on her own ambitions but onMaking a mark on the world the benefit of the larger world of which she is a

part. Although childhood is not a time when onethinks of life's transience, there is within Joanne K.a profound recognition of the passage of time andthe importance of doing something meaningful withthe resources at her disposal. As she moves intoadulthood she will be ambitious, because it is onlythrough achieving importance or recognition for herskills that she can ultimately make a mark on theworld and leave it better than she found it. This un-quenchable spirit may often leave her profoundlydiscontented, until she is at last able to find avocation which allows her to express her ownrather than others' values and make a useful contri-bution to the world around her. Her rich fund ofimagination will always help her to inject vitality,optimism and colour into even the most mundaneand limited of circumstances, and as she moves intoadulthood her need for challenge will impel hertoward a meaningful vocation rather than simpleworldly success. Because of this quest for meaningand inspiration she may change direction severaltimes as she matures, but it is through such changesthat she will find the confidence to express her ownvalues and vision through her chosen field of work.If there is any single thing about Joanne K. whichparents would benefit from recognising aboutJoanne K., it is that she will never be content to re-main within the social, economic, educational orcreative sphere in which she is brought up. Shewill always strive to improve upon what has gonebefore. This discontent in no way reflects a failingon the part of the family or the environment. It isthe product of her upwardly mobile spirit, which

21tke as.6212.502-4

ASTROLOGICAL DATA USED FOR THE CHILD'S HOROSCOPE:

name of the child: Joanne K. Rowling (girl)

birthdate: 31 July 1965 local time: 11:45 method: Liz Greeneplace: Yate, ENG (UK) U.T.: 10:45 houses: Placiduslong: 2w25 lat: 51n32 sid. time: 07:10:43 24 February 2015

PLANETARY POSITIONSplanet sign degree motion

A Sun Leo 8e00'17 in house 10 directB Moon Virgo 19f41'32 end of house 11 directC Mercury Leo 29e59'48 in house 11 directD Venus Virgo 7f02'44 in house 11 directE Mars Libra 17g44'19 in house 1 directF Jupiter Gemini 22c20'45 in house 9 directG Saturn Pisces 16l20'24 in house 5 retrogradeH Uranus Virgo 12f54'40 in house 11 directI Neptune Scorpio 17h13'59 in house 2 stationary (D)J Pluto Virgo 14f46'12 in house 11 directK Moon's Node Gemini 10c46'42 in house 9 retrogradeN Chiron Pisces 22l00'19 in house 6 retrogradePlanets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

HOUSE POSITIONSAscendant Libra 12g27'23 Descendant Aries 12a27'232nd House Scorpio 7h45'19 8th House Taurus 7b45'193rd House Sagittarius 9i16'00 9th House Gemini 9c16'00Imum Coeli Capricorn 16j18'05 Medium Coeli Cancer 16d18'055th House Aquarius 21k33'04 11th House Leo 21e33'046th House Pisces 20l09'43 12th House Virgo 20f09'43

MAJOR ASPECTSSun SQUARE Neptune 9°14 Jupiter SQUARE Uranus 9°25Sun SEXTILE Moon's Node 2°45 Jupiter SQUARE Pluto 7°34Moon SQUARE Jupiter 2°38 Jupiter SQUARE Chiron 0°20Moon OPPOSITION Saturn 3°20 Saturn OPPOSITION Uranus 3°25Moon CONJUNCTION Uranus 6°47 Saturn TRINE Neptune 0°53Moon SEXTILE Neptune 2°27 Saturn OPPOSITION Pluto 1°33Moon CONJUNCTION Pluto 4°55 Saturn SQUARE Moon's Node 5°33Moon SQUARE Moon's Node 8°55 Saturn CONJUNCTION Chiron 5°40Moon OPPOSITION Chiron 2°18 Uranus SEXTILE Neptune 4°19Mercury CONJUNCTION Venus 7°03 Uranus CONJUNCTION Pluto 1°52Venus OPPOSITION Saturn 9°17 Uranus SQUARE Moon's Node 2°08Venus CONJUNCTION Uranus 5°52 Uranus OPPOSITION Chiron 9°05Venus CONJUNCTION Pluto 7°43 Neptune SEXTILE Pluto 2°28Venus SQUARE Moon's Node 3°43 Neptune TRINE Chiron 4°46Mars TRINE Jupiter 4°35 Pluto SQUARE Moon's Node 4°00Mars TRINE Moon's Node 6°58 Pluto OPPOSITION Chiron 7°13Jupiter SQUARE Saturn 6°00 Mars CONJUNCTION Ascendant 5°17Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).

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child's horoscope · 2015-02-24 · you may give them your love but not your astrology can...

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