children, teens and grief - texas & new mexico hospice...
TRANSCRIPT
3/6/2015
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Heidi H. Stoddard, PsyD
Describe similarities and differences between the grief of children and adults
List and define developmental stages that affect grieving
Describe strategies that are effective in helping each age group cope with grief
Objectives
Grief is not pathology
Responses vary depending on the relationship with the deceased
Cultural differences
Initial denial response
Emotions (e.g. guilt, sadness, anger)
Physical symptoms
Difficulty concentrating
Similarities in Grief
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Kids less immersed in emotions; happen more in spurts
Asking questions intermittently; repeating the same questions
Behavioral regression
Nightmares
Fear of additional losses
Differences Between Child and Adult Grief
Newborn to 3 years
Cannot comprehend concept of death
Do sense changes and emotions
Developmental Stages and Grief
3 to 6 years
Death viewed as reversible and temporary
May not seem affected because expect return
Developmental Stages
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6-12 years
Aware that death is final
Tendency to personify death
More aware of the impact on them personally
May show more anger, guilt, and grief
Developmental Stages
12-18 years
Capacity to understand meaning of death
Developing own philosophical views of life and death
Caution! Don’t assume they can handle their grief on their own
Developmental Stages
Allow and respect expression of emotions
Allow time and listen actively
Answer questions honestly- don’t answer what isn’t asked
Realize cause of death will affect responses
Strategies that Facilitate Coping
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Encourage peer group friendships, “normal” activities
Involve teachers, other adult supports
Expect differences within age groups
Strategies
Complicated grief can happen
Red flag behaviors persisting over several months
Resources and strategies-depending on developmental stage
Art therapy
Play therapy
Writing activities
Talk therapy (individual, group, or family)
Other Notes
Questions?
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Doka, K. J. (1995) Children mourning – mourning children. Washington, DC. The Hospice Foundation of America.
Grollman, E.A. (ed). (1995) Bereaved children and teens: A support guide for parents and professionals. Boston, MA. Beacon Press.
Schaefer, D. & Lyons, C. (1993) How do we tell the children? New York, NY. New York Press.
References
Wolfelt, A. (1994) Helping children cope with grief. Burnsville, N.C. Accelerated Development, Inc.
Worden, W. (1996) Children and grief: When a parent dies. New York, N.Y. Guilford Press.
References