cherese e. nelson chapbook scarspublications,...

doggerelCherese E. Nelson chapbook

ScarsPublications, 2005

REALITY1/28-31/99

Here I sit in my roomFeeling so many emotionsI wonder why I miss you so.Love comes inside So strongI think of youAll of the great times we hadMake me smileMy babeHow I miss you soIf I hold your hand I won’t let goIn this great world;

cc&d chapbook with Cherese E. Nelson

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THE CLOSET CHILD3/4/99

A wonder world Cut off from the dangers of lifeEnclosed in a space That you can walk in several pacesHow is it that I am isolated?From the worldIs it to protect me?From the dangers that lie aheadOr cultivate me With the finer things That will bring the best in meTo shine to the world And brighten anything that crosses my pathSo she wonders What is on the other side?Is she strong enough?To tackle or embrace her true realityWhy is it?When she takes a couple of steps forwardSomething lingers onto her to hold her backIs it her mind playing tricks on her?Or is the reality she developed for herselfIn her own closet

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children, churches and daddies chapbook

Bart SimpsonConnivingPlayfulSarcasticFunnyMischievousAverage in SchoolCompetitivePranksHappy ChildLovingGets even-vindictive

Lisa SimpsonSmartReliableGivingOpen MindedAmbitiousDoesn’t Fit ˆfamilyAlways trying to improveLooking for change

& A chance to shineLovingGets even-vindictive

GrandpaA good grandpaGrumpySweetLogicOldDecrepitWise

GivingLovingGets even-vindictive

MargeA good motherA goof wifeLovingGivingStableRecklessOn the EdgeSomewhat a beautyKeeps things togetherVulnerableCautiousGets even-vindictive

HomerA good husbandA good fatherConsciousLovingGivingGoes out of his wayHelpfulAmbitionLives on the edgeA good jobLikes to eatLikes to have funWreckfulGets even-vindictive

DESCRIPTIONS3/4/99


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MaggieA good babyLikes to watch TV.WinnieSucks her pacifierGoes EverywhereTalkativeGets even-vindictive

Marge’s SistersAgree someNoseyAlways inviting themselves overTwinsLook alikeGets even-vindictive

Next Door NeighborsGoodLovingReligiousForgetfulGood NeighborsBossyPickyGets even-vindictive

The bar ownerSeriousBusybodyFalls for pranksGets even-vindictiveGoes berserk

The PolicemanCaringThoughtfulNice & easy goingGets suspiciousNails the suspectCriesGets even-vindictive

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Expectations3/4/99

I wish to achieve All that I can be

Soaring high in the skyIs the Direction

I strive forBe it day or Night

It is an AccumulationOf things that add up

To all the dreams I dare to be

As a tree my roots are deep in good groundMy bark is steady and strong

Becoming wiser in depthMy leaves are as fresh

As the green dewAs my ideas and inspirations

That someday May come to be

Bear the fruit of my dreamsMy expectationsWill come true

If I believe I can achieveThen I will be able

To consciously striveToward my goals

How is it the expectations I have for myself keep me centered to the world?Where would I be if I had none?

Would I have the same character?That survives a chaotic world

With a dream that keeps me stableI have expectations that keep me soaring

As a balloon filled with heliumWhat dangers lie ahead?


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I hurdle overBecause I keep moving forward

To my futureI want the best for myself

Thinking positively and conquering all obstaclesHow I am able to survive

When burdens come my wayBlue skies ahead

Filled with fresh air Of a new day

That is how I am able to look forwardTo a new beginning

I want so much For myself

My ExpectationsThat soars high in the sky

Keep soaring highI stay focused on the big picture

And little things phase awayI like to go and do positive things

For the childrenThe elderlyThe needy

In the societyWe as people we can contribute

To make this world A better place

I enjoy helping othersMy expectations for myself

Does not allow me To neglect othersThough I must do

All that I can do to succeedSo that I can have the power

To help others

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Survive3/5/99

I was at point in my life Where I was in needWho came to my rescue?Was it my family, friends, or professional help?Well, I know at this point in my lifeI survived from the burdens of my lifeI survived the negatives, or cries of disappointmentDoes being in need make me weak?Or does the feeling inside make me strongNow I know I am stronger from survivingThese experiences of helplessnessDid I call for help?Or did help come seek meI was so strong that I did not seeThat I needed helpSo when people thought I could use help or adviceI became angry and upsetThen once I accepted the help that was given to meI was able to help myself and evaluate my thoughtsI began thinking of alternatives to solve my problemsOnce you began to admit that maybe your behavior is different Focus on helping yourself and you will see a positive changeThis change is an everlasting change within meSo I say still I survive from the hardships and burdens that surround meStill I survive from all the negativity that surrounds meI am protected by God, my family, and friends and I say I Survive


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The Wait3/5/99

I pondered the thought of when it was time that I would go home. Though the decision was not entirely my ownPart depended on how I interactedAnd was able to make a new transitionThe other part was a decision Determined by my counselorSo, I hoped and wished that all would go wellThat my behavior would reflect my willingnessFor change and new tidingsWell the time is drawing nearAnd all is positive in the airThe thought of waiting is not all that badI look forward to the day When they come and sayIt’s your life,So go on your wayTo do what I have to doAnd accomplish my goal and dreamsThat lives within me.

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New Beginnings3/5/99

A brand new dayWisdom to begin a new start on lifeNew since I am given another chanceThat I was able to pull myself though my circumstances, And have faith from withinI have the start to put all my hopes and dreams to the testWith the help of God to pull me up if I fallMy loved one in my heart to stand by my sideI trust in God with all my heartI also expect you my love to be thereFor me if I am in needI make mistakes, no person is fallibleSo forgive me as Jesus has forgiven youFor not trusting and having faithI would have been by your side if you had let me knowThat you cared, so now I wait her wondering If you will walk back into my lifeKnowing I still careWith the blessing of God in my lifeI have made room for youPlease stayStay in my heartStay in my lifePlease stay


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My Betta3/5/99

Tropical fish so colorful and shinyYou flounder you tailAs you brush through the waterEvery time, I feed youYou put your trust within me,And nibble right from my handHow I enjoy watching you moveAround in your surroundingsSo exotic you brighten any dayIn return all you ask forIs some food flakesHow I wonder what you thinkIf you are happy in your tankWhen I change your waterYou do not seem to mindYou flounder and flounder In you tropical waters


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The Gym3/6/99

This gym or sports club is full of dynamic people Some you refer to as stars, basketball players, lawyers, and stockbrokers, others as CEO’s Generally, hard workers who come to let off some steamSome come in mingle at the café, or eat down at the restaurantWhile others may spend the day at the spaPeople that get involved with the personal trainers are trying to work on body and mind There are four levels of floor work out areasOne is for aerobics and cycling, while the other floors are machinery and free weightsThe famous basketball court where both men and women play ball Showing off their skills is fashionable to hang out thereThey have a military type of class where you feel as though you are in boot campThe kids and their parents hang out in the junior Olympic swimming poolAnother sport both the kids and their parents enjoy is a form of karatidoThe other attraction is the outdoor track where you can run or rollerbladeThe top floor they have a sun deck where you can kick back and sit in a folding chairListen to music, and read the newspape

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Sports Team3/6/99

The cheering of the crowd as you try your best to scoreThe swiftness of the ball as it leaves your handYour teammates working together as one to score another pointDisappointment when you don’t make the scoreConsistent enthusiasm from your faithful fans Score, Score, ScoreYou hear the roaring of the crowdYour movement is automated as though you practiced this play a million timesAs you score another, you feel as though your head is on cloud nineBack into reality the other team gets hold of the ballWhat defense plan will we use to get the ball back in our hands?Tackle them and we will get penalty points We stick together waiting for a chance to re c a p t u re the ball back in our handsWe take the ball back and head for another chance to scoreSwoosh, another point, we take the lead with thirty seconds to goWe stumble passing the ball to avoid the other team from scoringFive, Four, Three, Two, OneWe Won


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The Pen3/6/99

The pen is my instrument for expression It is my tongue that I speak withI write my most intimate thoughtsMy free expressionEnables me to relinquish any feelings I have at any particular momentI tend to use this pen to help me deal with particular situations that I am inTo help me get a better understanding of a topic or situationThis pen can be used in a positive or negative mannerI prefer to use it positively, as therapy or just for funThe thought has crossed my mind that this persuasive penCan get me a good job, and many opportunitiesI t can also be used constructively when criticizingThough I stay away from the negativity, becauseNothing positive comes from thatThe pen can be used to make or destroy a person’s reputation, butThat person will have to live with their decision

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Love From Within3/19/99

I am so sad because I can’t see you anymoreI thought I was strong through when I reflect and look back I feel this void insideI know that I am strong and I will make it throughThe strength within me to survive and make something of myself is stro n g e rI learned that I have faithThis longing to make something of myself within me is soundTo hear the echo of your cheering for me makes me so proudI have determination within me to strive for my goalsThe star that is shining in the sky I call onto youEvery time I look up in the sky and remember all of our good timesThat star I recall upon and think of youShine bright star shineInto the night you brighten the blackened skyI see you in my mother, father, sister, brother, niece, and nephewsAll the beauty I see is within me, so I am not sad, but happyTo have someone like you bring the best out in meTo challenge me to achieve goals and strive for the best within myselfNot to take no for an answerTo move beyond any limitations that are placed on meTo look for motivation from within and conquer all tribulationsTo spread my love and knowledge To whoever is there to accept my kindness?Will help me feel valuedAs your shining star will give the light


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Just Say No3/20/99

Just say no, When you do not believe in what is being offered to youJust say no,When you are already under too much stressJust say no, When the demands are too manyJust say no,When you do not have the desire to extend anymoreJust say no, For what ever reason that the price is too highYou will survive,Just believeYou will accomplish a lot more ifYou will learn to say “No”

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Right At Bat3/20/99

I was down, but I was not outI still stayed in the gameDid you think you struck me out?No, I had one strike against meDid you think I would leave and sulk?My mind is too strong and heart is not giving upI am at home base until you see me strike out, And I will keep coming backI have the beautiful gift within me called willThe will to loveThe will to live life to the fullestThe will to giveThe will to share, And the will to care for othersMy beauty from within shines on the outsideIf I happen to strike out I will get another chanceRight at bat,And do not think I will give upYou will see me againAnd againRight at Bat


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Heading to the Top3/20/99

I am strong hearted I am strong willedI am headed to the topThe blue skies and clouds are high in the skyIs there a glass ceiling for me?I will soar through any limitations Or borders that come my wayI am headed to the top and that’s where I will stayDo not try to bring me down, because Your snares and devilish ways will not affect meIn any way or formBecause my head is looking forward, And I will not look back I have God on my sideAnd he is here to protect meI am in the sky,And that is where I will stayMy mind is on God’s words and he has a lot to say

Keep moving forward and he will protect youI heading for the top, And that is where I am staying

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The Artist3/21/99

How is it that I am able to express what I am feeling?Be it writing, dance, acting, drawing, or song.This is my avenue of expressionThis is my mode of thought to express my feelingsWhy is it that we tend to hold anger in?Instead of releasing our feelings and Letting go of the stress build upTension and anxiety can cause headachesWhat form of art do you use to express your feelings?The artist is the one who masters the form of artThe one who is free of expression?The master artist is in touch with their feelingsThey will use their form of art to entertain at the same time they express themselvesAs an artist cultivates their skill they become better at what they doAttracting more people to appreciate their artWhy do we need to express ourselves?Should we keep our feelings bottled up inside?No, when we allow little things to build up they tend to explodeWhen little things bother usIs it because, we kept our feelings to ourselvesIt is healthier for us to become assertiveTo let others know how we feelOr else we become angered and frustratedFor allowing others to control our livesBy not standing up for ourselves and taking initiative To speak up for ourselves


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Rainbow3/27/99

A colorful gleam of lightsReflecting upon a wet surfaceShining upon the ground With an array of red, yellow, green, blue, and purpleThese beautiful colors together give me a sense of instant joyTo appreciate such natural wonders that are taken for grantedThe dew on the grass in the morningThe blossoming of the flowers in the springThe rain and sun that gives our plants and flowers nutrientsWaterfalls that are astonishing to look atThe smell of the outdoor of all of the earth grown forestryWalking outside to appreciate the change of scenery, trees, shru b s ,A pond surrounded by older and baby ducks, and a swan

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Strength4/4/99

Strength is part of your character that pushes you to doWhen very little energy is left in youIt is when you have no resources,And still have the desire to reach higherIt is when you have been though so much turmoilMany wonder how you can take another step forwardIt is when you break from your ordinary pattern, and Strive for something betterIt is when everyone tells you to give up, butYour heart keeps pumping onIt is an accumulation of things that happen to you, andYou continue to push on


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Easter Sunday4/4/99

The true meaning of Easter Sunday is the renewal of Christ,Many celebrate with Easter bunnies, eggs, candy, beautiful dresses, and suitsIt is a day to acknowledge that all that Jesus has done for usIn God’s nameTo know that he has given his life for usThat he died to take away our sins,So we can enter the gates of heavenHe came back in spiritual formWe should all celebrate, butKnow the true meaning behind EasterToday was a wonderful dayI went to mass and received the Eucharist,And the word of GodThen when I came home we had a dinner, and I reflected

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Release4/4/99

Release One, Two, ThreeBurstOut OpenChampagne, ExplodeRoses BloomingRockets ShootingA person cryingLife beginningA boxer punching a bagLet go, Let goFighting, kicking, jumpingI am back, roaring to goBack to make my markAnd ExplodeBack in the competitive gameReady to shout, danceJoy, laughter, and smilingExcruciating sounds, angerReleaseLet goOrange, Red, Go Explode At war with soldiersOn the earthPeace Corps working to makeA better placeBirds chirping, Dogs growlingMake a sound, Stand up, StompScream Loud, Clap, Make a NoiseBe heard


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Friction4/99

Disagreement Arguing, ScreamingColder, Colder, ColderTwo surfaces that are rubbing against each otherNever coming to termsShifting, Changing, SlidingGliding on iceWalking on the floorMaking love two kindred soulsSliding on a boardRunning on a trackMopping the floorAngry, not happy with someoneThings are going the wrong way

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The UnderlyingSeasons ofTrees

3/6/00One lay dormant in the sunlight bare of its green essentialsThe prosperous one known to ignite the lives of children In summer, fall, winter, and springWhat two worlds merge together fruits that are seen on different plains?One giving of its leaves and other bearing green whitish pins of lifeWe see the difference of the world beyond us Though very few can acknowledge The strength and endurance of oneThat gives life to others throughout the seasonsThe leaves shall return in springWhile the others bare its greens all year long


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Dance3/27/00

Dance to me is a songOf expressionA free highMoving, glidingSoaring aboutOne, two, threeOne, two, threeA moment in timeA fantasyA partyMoving to a beatPounding the drumsA whirl of wonderIn the ecstasy of life

The Drum3/28/00

African rhythmic beatsIn tune to the earthMusicSounds of the landIn retrospect to our forefathersIn unisonAs oneA melodySo sweetTwirling in my mindHappinessAt last


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Exercise4/1/00

ExerciseMotionPushing through timeA moment of forceTo take away another poundPush and PullWeights that sustainA balanceIn tone with lifeJumping and runningThrough a pavement worn downBeautiful sites you passThat comes back in time

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Will to Live4/30/05

Lying down asleep I try to seek peaceA state of mindWake up! Wake up!Water is taking holdMy nose, I am falling underI can’t breatheWake up! Wake up!My mind is not functioningIf I stay awake, Will I get insomnia?I try to rest as I am falling asleepMy mind is being taking over As I am falling deep underI awake from this attackScared to fall asleepI need my rest to stay aliveVibrant, to functionWill I make it?Stay strongFight to liveHarmony is hereThe water is not taking hold of my nose as strongMy mind is getting strongerThough I lose controlSomething has taken overAll I can remember is I awake with the same feelings and thoughtsThough I feel a little bit strongerStrange, how life isMy will to live is strongerThat is how I survive


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Static5/3/05

Moments in timeChanging, ShiftingWill you be mine?Forces That draws you near AnglesSo distant and clearCouples,Parallel in lineDo they meet?Or in another lifeJoints, ReactionsBurst, out in flamesIt came to meWith a new lifeShareResultantThat is where it endsAdjusting So I see you tonight

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Mechanics5/3/05

Pain, Sorrow, DespairEngineeringWas it happy?My thought was it clearLectures, Test, FinalsCame to mindI had an egoUntil it came to classIt revealed my logicAs a taskI jumped though the ropeUntil it was goneFamily and friends were they goneThen it was my turnTo travelDefeat I meanI came closeBut it wasn’t nearNow I have time to regressI say Logic is backWhat more do I say


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Friendship5/3/05

Friendship to me is a helping handIt takes me up when I am feeling badTwo kindred souls working togetherBlessed to have one anotherI want to know how it would beCould we count on one another?Dancing, Prancing AroundLet’s stay strictTo depend on each otherUps and Downs they come aroundLet’s take turnsLeading aroundNow there comes a timeWhen you must pickIs it me?It is time to chooseLook not hasteAnother fitOnce we know where we are leadingI’ll make a choiceIn this New HavenIs it me?I must know Once I’m here I tell you soYou are a friendIndeedWhen you come closeI’ll tell you please

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Baby5/9/05

My baby In spiritual form you are the oneThat makes me shineTogether we are everlastingIn memory I hold you are my precious lightSo dear to meHow I miss you soIf I can hold time I would never let you goI think of you alwaysMy shining starYou are my sun in the morning and guiding star at nightShine bright, Shine brightMy baby You take all the worries and cares awayIn heaven


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Dedicated to “Harper Williams”

More ThanFriends

2/1993Friendship is to me is to trust beyondTo share of oneselfWith anotherFor funSorrow, or just to be nearIn comfort, or laughterTo show that you careIt is as though you been together a lifetime throughHopes and dreams you inspire each otherTo accomplish any taskBig, or smallThis feeling of joyIt seems to clearThe everlasting bumpy roads that come to pastYou are more than just a friend to meWith your warmth and comfortShowering, This ever-glowing sensationThat comes from within, an emotion

A feeling that hides inside, To protect the gentleness,Of my loving heart

Everglowing Light5/1996

MoodsFeelings-shouting out loudMany thoughtsPassing-a moment in timeAt last I take hold this memory of mineA dreamFantasy, make it all mineDangling, like chandelier glassAn emotion, so softOr cold as snowRelease, let goExplode! Not my mindLet go, of the hauntingLet goHeartbeat No More


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Health andWellnessÓ

6/17/05To live by healthy standardsMind, Body, SoulTo live consciously taking care of your health and wellnessBy taking healthy measuresPracticing good habitsTaking vitaminsEating healthyExercise-three to five times a weekCardiovascular workouts-to condition the heartMonitoring your heart rate & blood pressureFree weights-weight bearing activitiesFor bone density (strength)Keeping a healthy weightDrinking water several times a dayEating a variety of colorful foodsOrange carrots, green lima beans, red tomatoesAvoid eating fatty foodsAvoid smokingProper clothing, and comfortable shoesJogging on soft pavements.

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Models6/24/05

ModelsGiving airPolo Ralph LaurenMoving in tuneTo the universeMusic so softlyClothes that stay in styleWe are all astonishedBy the MoodBy Performance


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Outside TheLibrary

6/26/05

A fresh breeze of air through the meadow Tall trees, Green leaves that transpires lifeOne lovely thought of the midst of airierPassing by to an occassionI say I reflect the days I knowBlue skyBearing sunlight from afarInto the light I seeShade Buildings that hide the sunOn a metal bench covered with soft plasticEnjoyment of the sense of touch, smell, taste, sound, and sight.In the mood of companyThe bench substaining twoNow, I wait until I get a chanceTo enter this placeFilled with life and knowledgeThe library will be open tomorrowBut here I shall remainOutside of the library

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The Waters At The Beach

7/29/05

Wash awayBy the sandInto the landCome by wind or stormThe waves that wash throughThe watersOut comes sunlightThat drys the landThat bring backThe sand to the beachAway the water washesWaves and all


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Live InAccordance

8/1/05

What we see in this grand worldOur lives, full of spiritsThey mingle quite oftenWith much they do not sayIt’s all in our actionsThat bring fourth, the wordsThat express how we feelDeep in our woundsWe tend to healGod only knows our actions at bestTo believe in him and his wordsWe save our lives spirituallyWhat we come to expectTime will only tellWe live our lives wellIn accordance

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Sunflower8/14/05

Bright, yellow sunflowerWith your lengthy stemAs tall as you standSunshine shines upon youHow I enjoy your graceEnlighten my life with yourBeautiful flowers.


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doggerelCherese E. Nelson

Images: Cover images of a building in Chicago. Page 2 on Lorelei’s bed. Page 3:Claire. Page 6: planes flying over the bridge in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Page 8: Scars

bruise with make-up. Page 9: Tag Heuer watch. Page 11: Coy fish in pond at ConfusciusTemple, Shanghai, China. Page 12: fish in aquarium (top) and catching a blue gell (bot-

tom). Page 14: Illini Basketball photo. Page 17: women at a women's rights protestrally called “Take Back the Night.” Page 19: clouds from an airplane over Puerto Rico.

Page 20: Ellen, painting a picture of herself. Page23: Easter eggs. Page 24: ROTC armymen repelling off a wall. Page 26: tree stumps, Heather Ridge. Page 27: Howard and

Lisa dancing at Scott and Ning’s wedding. Page 28: drums in Kent, Ohio. Page 30: lay-ing on the parent’s bed. Page 31: passion photo. Page 32: Greek ruins in Agrigento,Italy. Page 38: Dawn with model posters in the background. 39: National library in

Luxembourg. 40: San Juan beach. Page 42: Dead sunflowers.published in conjunction with

the unreligious, nonfamily-oriented literary and art magazine [email protected] 1068-5154

INTERNET ISSN#1555-1555http://scars.tv

Press

the Copyright for the written pieces is retained by the authorDesign Copyright © 2005 Scars Publications and Design

other publications from Scars:B o o k s : Hope Chest in the Attic , the Window, Close Cover Beofre Striking , (Woman.) , Autumn Reason ,Contents Under Pressure , the Average Guy’s Guide (to Feminism) , Changing Gears, the Key to Believing,

Domestic Blisters, Etc., Oeuvre, Exaro Versus, L’arte, The Other Side, the Boss Lady’s Editorials, the Boss Lady’sEditorials (2005 Expanded Edition), Duality, Seeing Things Differently, Change/Rearrange, Death Comes in

Threes, Sulphur and Sawdust , Slate and Mar row , Blister and Burn , Rinse and Repeat , Survive and Thrive,(not so) Warm and Fuzzy, Torture and Triumph, Oh., the Elements, Side A/Side B, Balance, Chaos Theory,

Infamous in our Prime , Anais Nin: an Understanding of her Art , the Electronic Windmill , Changing Woman,the swan road, the Significance of the Frontier, The Svetasvatara Upanishad, Harvest of Gems, the Little

Monk, Death in Málaga, Momento Mori, In the Palace of Creation, R.I.P., Bob the Bumble Bee, Remnants andShadows

Compact Discs: MFV the demo tapes, Kuypers the final (MFVInclusive), Weeds and Flowers the beauty &the desolation,The Second Axing Something is Sweating, The Second Axing Live in Alaska, Pettus & Kuypers

Live at Cafe Aloha, Pointless Orchestra Rough Mixes, Kuypers Seeing Things Differently, 5D/5D Tick Tock,Kuypers Change Rearrange, Order From Chaos The Entropy Project, Kuypers Six One One, Kuypers Stop.,

Kuypers Masterful Performances mp3 CD, Kuypers Death Comes in Threes, Kuypers Changing Gears, KuypersDreams, Kuypers How Do I Get There?, Kuypers Contact•Conflict•Control assorted artists String Theory.

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