characteristics and how to benefit from?. + pulls away from the family + finds faults with the...
TRANSCRIPT
Characteristics and how to benefit from?
+ Pulls away from the family+ Finds faults with the family and especially
parents+ Does not like anything that’s equated with
childishness+ Likes to live a separate life+ Wants to prove that he/she can be
independent+ Doesn’t accept advice unless it’s given
with respect and valuing of independence
+ Wants to have own opinions+ Wants to be different from the family in some ways
+ Wants to do things his/her way
+ Questions accepted norms+ Tendency to be argumentative
+ Physical changes of puberty and growth+ Emotional roller coaster+ Many internal conflicts –
1) independence vs. need for family2) Individuality vs. lack of confidence
3) How he is vs. how the world wants him to be (peers, family, society, church)
+ Privacy and need for personal space
+ Generation and culture gap+ Separate life from the family
+ Very sensitive about physical appearance
+ Very sensitive about social appearance
+ Easily embarrassed + Very sensitive to criticism especially from peers
+ Very mindful of peers especially opposite sex
+ Lots of new and uncomfortable feelings
+ Lots of social challenges in dealing with the opposite sex- an area of insecurity at the same time that it is an area that needs to be negotiated.
+ Lots of societal and peer pressure regarding expected relations with opposite sex
+ Lots of mixed messages regarding sexuality
المرحلة هذه في الشباب... يحتاج
المرحلة هذه في الشباب... يحتاج
إليك أنتYou
ناضج إنسان يصبح كيف تعلمه أن منك يحتاجThey need you to teach them how to be an adult who is
محبLoving
ناجحSuccessful
مؤثرFunctioning
Teens need …
Teens need …
+ Has to be both ways+ Who talks more?+ Understand before intervening+ Influence not change+ Look for teachable moments not lectures
يسمعه من يجد أن للشاب البدHe has to find who will listen
يسمعه من يجد أن للشاب البدHe has to find who will listen
نفسهself
اصدقاءهfriends
أهلهFamily
ربناGod
Mobile الموبايل
اإلكتئابDepression
Chatting
Face book
يسمعه من يجد أن للشاب البدHe has to find someone to listen
يسمعه من يجد أن للشاب البدHe has to find someone to listen
الخيالImagination
االبداعCreativity
الطفولة منSince Childhood
الطفولة منSince Childhood
مشكلة كل فىIn every problem
مشكلة كل فىIn every problem
مناسب وغير مناسب وقت فىIn suitable & unsuitable times
مناسب وغير مناسب وقت فىIn suitable & unsuitable times
؟؟ ابنك تسمع متى?When do you listen
؟؟ ابنك تسمع متىWhen do you listen?
شئ كل فىIn everything
شئ كل فىIn everything
؟ .. البنك تسمع !!فيما?What do you listen to
؟ .. البنك تسمع !!فيماWhat do you listen to?
جديد كل معIn all new things
جديد كل معIn all new things
... المخاوفFears
... المخاوفFears
... بصبرPatience... بصبر
Patience
... بتفهمUnderstanding
... بتفهمUnderstanding
؟ ابنك تسمع !!كيف ?How do you listen
؟ ابنك تسمع !!كيف How do you listen?
... باحترامRespect... باحترامRespect
بحبIn Love
بحبIn Love
بتشجيعEncouraging
بتشجيعEncouraging
بتفاهمUnderstanding
بتفاهمUnderstanding
؟ ابنك تسمع !!كيف ?How do you listen
؟ ابنك تسمع !!كيف How do you listen?
بتركيزAttention
بتركيزAttention
بأمانةHonesty
بأمانةHonesty
؟؟ ابنك تسمع كيف?How to listen؟؟ ابنك تسمع كيف
How to listen?
باعجابAdmiration
باعجابAdmiration
المقاطعةInterruption
.... احذرBeware.... احذرBeware
التجاهلNeglect
الغضبAnger
التهكمSarcasm
الكثير التأجيلDealying األوامر لغة
Ordering
+ If you always win, you’ve lost+ Negotiation facilitates compliance+ Negotiation respects and builds up the
teen+ Think of the 3 baskets – You need some in
every basket
YES NO Maybe
+ Limits have to be based on teen’s abilities not parents’ fears
+ Better to say when something will be allowed based on demonstrating responsibility than just saying “no”.
+ Learning experiences are better earlier when harms are smaller than later when harms are bigger
+ Mistakes are part of learning
والتواصل Ask questions that require more than Yes & No الحوارreplies
والتواصل Ask questions that require more than Yes & Noالحوارreplies
أقل ووجه أكثر إسمع
Listen more, lecture
less
أقل ووجه أكثر إسمع
Listen more, lecture
less
دوركYour Role
دوركYour Role
محاولة من أكثر عليه Aim to know your teenrather than changing your teen تغييرهتعرف
محاولة من أكثر عليه Aim to know your teen rather than changing your teenتغييرهتعرف
السامرية
زكا
+ There will always be risk – teen has to learn to gradually handle bigger responsibilities
+ Overprotection leads to either rebellion or dependence
+ Smothering is usually about the parent dealing with their own anxiety than about helping the teen. Teens can usually tell the difference and will protest more.
+ Accept that the teen has to do things according to their abilities not according to the parent’s abilities.
+ Micromanaging leads to rebellion or dependence whereas supervision leads to learning and growth.
+ Micromanaging is telling the teen that they can’t do it which is counter to all their needs.
+ Prying destroys the teen’s individuality whereas monitoring is to guide.
+ prying is a form of controlling leading to counter measures by the teen whereas monitoring is part of guidance and influencing not intruding and controlling.
+ Your teen needs to know that you have some trust in their abilities.
+ Your teen needs to know that you trust what they say.
+ Your teen needs to be able to trust you. + They need to trust that you will be truthful
with them and that you will not invade their privacy.
+ Trust breeds trust and mistrust breeds mistrust.
+ Your teen needs your respect otherwise they will lose respect for you even if they fear you.
+ Role model better than a sermon
+ Conviction is better than “ because I said so”
⁺ No parental conflicts before the children
⁺ Eating, praying, outing together⁺ Liturgy unites families⁺ Humility unites families, parents need to lean to be humble
يكتسبها أن البد أساسياتالمراهق
يكتسبها أن البد أساسياتالمراهق
التواصلCan connect
تحمل المسئولية
Responsibility
النضوجMaturity
في التحكمالنفس
Self Control
ومثل قيموإيمانيات
A set of values, ethics & beliefs
هدف لديهواضح
Focused, not lost
) الله ) عن منفصل غير روحياSpiritually, not separated from Godيع ) إليكم فيقترب الله إلى : 4إقتربوا
8 )(Jam 4 : 8)
Qualities to give to your teens
Qualities to give to your teens
لك ابنك ... يقولها.…Your sonلك ابنك ... يقولها
Your son….
لك الله ... يقولهاGod says itلك الله ... يقولها
God says it
؟ ... !! إسمعنى فضلك منPlease…Listen
؟ ... !! إسمعنى فضلك منPlease…Listen
البنك انت ... تقولها..You say it
البنك انت ... تقولهاYou say it..
الوقت فوات الوقت احذر فوات احذرWatch the timeWatch the time
الوقت فوات الوقت احذر فوات احذرWatch the timeWatch the time
فوات يحذر أن فوات البد يحذر أن البدالوقتالوقتWatch the timeWatch the time
فوات يحذر أن فوات البد يحذر أن البدالوقتالوقتWatch the timeWatch the time
الوقت فوات الوقت احذر فوات احذرWatch the timeWatch the time
الوقت فوات الوقت احذر فوات احذرWatch the timeWatch the time