chapter three effective listening mohammad r. rawashdeh communication skills ele205
TRANSCRIPT
Chapter three
Effective Listening
Mohammad R. Rawashdeh
Communication SkillsELE205
Outline- lec.1
• Why listening is important??
• Hearing VS listening
• Types of listening
• Why bad listening occur?
Listening is important
• 85% of what we know we have learned by listening.
• We remember only 20% of what we hear
• Less than 2% of us have had any formal educational experience with listening
• Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated
• When we fail to demonstrate our listening skills, we may
damage our personal and occupational relationships with
others.
• People are fired, customer are lost and working
relationship are strained , friendship suffer, marriage and
families fail
Listening is important
• When we do listen and are listened to, we experience a confirming connection that brings about shared understanding, which is the goal of effective communication.
• In fact, we spend 50% of our communication listening, estimate listening efficiency reach 25%, then we miss ¾ of what we hear
Listening is important
Hearing VS. Listening
The term “listening” has different meanings for different people:
- Listening involve paying attention and maintaining eye contact
- Remembering what has been said word-for- word- Reading between lines
“None of them contains all elements of the effective listening”
Hearing VS. Listening Hearing is sensory process that includes:
•Conversion of acoustical
energy
•Sound reception
•Auditory sensation
•Transfer to the brain
Listening is a mental process that includes:•Choosing to attend (mentally & physically)
•Understanding thoughts
and feelings
•Confirming meaning
•Responding appropriately
Hearing VS. Listening
Technicians of all kinds use Hearing skills to monitor procedures. Judge the smoothness of operations or locate problems.
They hear “whirs”, “pings”, “screeches”, “pops”,…..etc, hearing these sounds can trigger the listening process to begin.
After recognition of aural stimuli, they can decide whether the sound deserve attention or not
“Hearing involves the physical recognition of sound”
Hearing VS. Listening
Listening can defined in terms of the following elements:
Attending to the speaker (mentally and physically)
-Assigning meaning of both the verbal and non- verbal messages
-Verifying accurate understanding of these messages
-Evaluating the importance of message
-And finally, responding appropriately.
Hearing: involves the physical recognition of sound.
Types of Listening
1. Discriminative: listening to distinguish auditory and/or visual stimuli (receptive stage, discriminating between different sound & sight)
2. Comprehensive: listening to understand a message (lecture, conference, film, make sense)
3. Therapeutic: listening to provide a troubled sender with the opportunity to talk through a problem
Types of Listening
4. Critical: listening to understand and evaluate the message inferences (to judge, separating facts, drawing conclusions, used in negotiations, making decisions)
5. Appreciative: listening to obtain sensory stimulation or enjoyment through the works and experiences of others (music, poetry, words of a great leader)
Listening Tree
Discriminative listening
comprehensive
therapeuticcritical appreciative
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Bad listening occurs…..
• Because we are poorly trained to listen
Through our formal
education, we offered
learn reading,
speaking,
writing and rarely
listening.
Bad listening occurs…..
• Mistaken belief that because we are bombarded with an overwhelming number of messages daily
Radio commercials scream at us as we drive to work; machines grind, whir, and hum the noises of production;
(External distraction)
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Bad listening occurs…..
• Because we disagree with speaker.
When we doubt what the speaker is saying, when we begin to formulate a response before the speaker has concluded, or when we are preoccupied with our own personal problems.
(Internal distraction)
• Because we tolerate distractions
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Bad listening occurs…..
• Because we overreact to emotional words (we can not listen if we are angry, happy)
Our listening effectiveness drops as
our emotional responses increases.Listing to a speaker who is against
you (in beliefs, attitudes,..) is difficult.Emotional control: not easy to be achieved, but
essentially for successful listening.
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Bad listening occurs…..
• Because we waste our thought- speed advantage (i.e. we think faster than we talk. We must give ourselves the chance to understand the message completely) :
- Daydreaming
- Plan
- Take mental holidays
- Or worry
- Allow our mind to wonder
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Bad listening occurs….. To overcome:• We must become aware of the problem.
• We must find out what cause the problem and follow steps to solve them.
• To improve listening, learn new listening skills and habits.
Minimize Bad listening habits…..
Outline-lec.2
• Interrupt non- verbal behavior.
• Listening tools:
- Attending tools
- Remembering tools
- Evaluating tools
- Responding tools
Nonverbal behavior.
• To understand the total message we must
receive both verbal and non verbal
components.
• Nonverbal message can replace, strengthen
or contradict the verbal message.
Nonverbal Behaviors
In face-to-face situation, factors such as
distance, body orientation, eye contact, posture
and others can provide information.
Nonverbal Behaviors
Non-verbal communication can be classified into several categories:
1.Kinesics
2.Proxemics
3.Chronemics
4.Touch
5.Appearance
Nonverbal Behaviors
Kinesics: refers to many behaviors of the body,
Ex. : posture, gesture, body orientation, facial
expressions and eye behavior
Nonverbal Behaviors
Proxemics includes the following elements:
1.Language of space (culture bounded)
2.Distance
3.Territory
4. space
Nonverbal Behaviors
Proteomics is the study of set measurable
distances between people as they interact.
Nonverbal Behaviors
Territory: our relationship to fixed space
such as favorite chair at home, our work
place.
Nonverbal Behaviors
We need to be aware of others
“personal space”, ”territories” and
“distance” when we communicate at
work
Nonverbal Behaviors
Chronemics:
Is the study of the use of time
in communication. The way we
perceive time, structure our time
and react to time is a powerful
communication tool, and helps set
the stage for the communication
process.
Nonverbal Behaviors
Chronemics (our sensation of time):
•How much time it takes to communicate the
message?
•Cultural difference and individuals sensation of time
•Focusing on multiple things at one time
•Focusing on single things at one time…
Touch: •Touch can share a rang of feeling from warm feeling to a congratulatory to a push way. (pay attention, I am here, move over)
•Touch behavior must be
interpreted in light of culture,
status, gender,
and personality.
Nonverbal Behaviors
Appearance: includes the body, clothing and possessions/belonging. People assign meanings to our body types, skin color, manner of dress, hair style and accessories we display. For example tattoos, and noise ring.
Is only a part of the total message & may work to reinforce it or contradict it.
Nonverbal Behaviors
Listening tools:
Listening tools includes:
A. Attending tools
B. Remembering tools
C. Evaluating tools
D. Responding tools
Listening tools:
A) Attending tools includes:
1. Attitudes.
2.Attending behaviors.
3.Emotional control.
Listening tools:
A) Attending tools:
The central (positive) attitude important to
listening is effectively is “I WANT to
understand you” and other positive attitudes:
•I want to avoid distractions
•I want to hear before I judge
Listening tools:
Actions associated with good attending behavior
includes:
1.eye contact that is appropriate in duration, frequency
and intensity
2.Body postures that reflect your interest (back off chair,
slight forward lean and body orientations)
3.Distance that is suitable for the message being shared
(personal, social or public)
Listening tools:
Suggestions to follow when attending a talk:
•Stop talking, ( you can’t listen & talk @ the same time)
•Hear the speaker out, (wait until the speaker has
completed his message before offering a response).
•Tune out distractions, or minimize as much as you
can ( all; internal, external,… )
Listening tools:
4.Develop an open mind tolerance of ideas. Don’t
lose your “cool”, (stop mentally debating with the speaker
before you fully understand what is being said )
5.Take advantage of though speed (review what said,
relate to your experience & predict the speaker next thought)
Outline-lec.3
• Listening tools:
- Attending tools
- Remembering tools
- Evaluating tools
- Responding tools
Listening tools:
B) Remembering tools: (after paying attention to the
speaker)
We remember information more easily when:
1. Meaningful, useful and of interest to us
2. Out of ordinary
3. Organized
4. Visual
Listening tools:
B) Remembering tools:
Lyman suggests memory techniques steps:
1. Repeating (paraphrasing and restating the meaning)
2. Linking (link first to the second and so on)
3. Picturing (mental image for the location being described,
good for directions)
4. Grouping (phone number)
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools:
1.Separate facts from interference.
2. Detect logical fallacies.
3. Be sensitive to biased language.
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: (As the attentive listener gains an
understanding of the total message, the critical
listening process begins)
The critical listener sorts facts from interferences, detects logical fallacies, spots relative terms, & maintains emotional control
Listening tools:C) Evaluating tools:
Facts:
•Made after observation based on observable sense data
(smell, touch, hear, see).
• Only about present or past not future.
•Stay with observation
• Objective & devoid o any interpretations, conclusions, or
assumptions, like observing a man with tattoo.
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools:
1.Separate facts from interference:
Inferences
•Made at any time (past , present or at future)
•Go beyond observation
•Unlimited in scope (include assumption, conclusion and
interruption)
Listening tools:
Example:
Sandy and pat, both data processors, are especially good
at their jobs. There combine experience totals some 30
years. They are reliable , hardworking , and very strong
individuals. In fact, sandy lifts weight for a hobby, and
pat plays basketball
Listening tools:
Example:
• This story concerns two men ? T F
•Sandy and pat are both hard workers? T F
•Sandy is handicapped? T F
•Pat and sandy are married to each other? T F
•Sandy never lifted weights? T F
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools:
2. Detect logical fallacies:
• Faulty causation: when coincidental events are seen as
having a cause effect relationship
• Either or thinking: presents 2 alternatives when, in fact,
many more possibilities exist; there is many possible
alternatives,( look for other possibilities that may not be
stated)
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools:
2. Detect logical fallacies:
• Hasty generalization: few samples used to represent the
whole of the conclusion
• Circular reasoning: restating to prove your idea without
evidence
• Comparison: you must look for differences not only
similarities
Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools:
3. Be sensitive to biased language:
Critical listener must be aware of relative terms that
cloud the exact meaning of a message and
may create misunderstanding
Listening tools:
D) Responding tools: (In addition of attitudes,
the listener must choose how to respond to message received)
1. Evaluating:
Judge: right, wrong, good, bad. Ex: That was stupid, That’s right,
Advice: Offer advice, share solutions. Ex: why don’t you..?, if I
were you…, you really should.
Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
2. Interrupting :Explains or teaches. This response explains
why something happens by adding information not
stated in the original problem. Ex: You may feel that
way because…., Maybe the reason of this problem
is…
Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
3. Supporting: reassure and comfort to make people feel
better, cheer them up, offer help or
encouragement. Ex: look at the progress you have
made…., I am sure things will be better.
Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
4. Questioning: probes, clarifies, or seeking more
information. Two types: closed questions (yes or
no), open questions (more than yes or no).
5. Paraphrasing : Summarizes, restates or reflects. Shows
your understanding by your own words . Ex: if I
understand you, you have…. In other words..
------------------------See page 55
End of chapter 3
Any question?