chapter 9 communicating conflict. defining conflict interpersonal conflict is commonly defined as...
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Chapter 9
Communicating Conflict
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Defining Conflict
Interpersonal conflict is commonly defined as “the
interaction of interdependent people who perceive
incompatible goals and interference from each other
in achieving these goals.”
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Defining Conflict
• Interdependence – means that the communicators are interconnected and rely on and need each other
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Defining Conflict
• Perception - the communicators perceive having incompatible goals
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Defining Conflict
• Incompatible goals – when people view the other as keeping them from reaching their goals friction often results
• Image conflicts involve a concern for self-presentation and a disagreement about self-definition
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Types of Conflict
• Value conflicts are content conflicts that deal with content that is viewed as right or wrong
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Types of Conflict
• Relational conflicts focus on issues concerning the relationship between the two people
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Types of Conflict
• Serial conflicts are not conflict on a particular issue rather they are based on the fact that the same conflict occurs respectively overtime without resolution–Meta-conflicts are conflicts on how
you manage conflict
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Myths about Conflict and Communication
• The belief that all conflicts result from miscommunication or unclear communication.
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Myths about Conflict and Communication
• The belief that conflicts can always be resolved with good communication skills.
• The belief that it’s always best to talk about conflict.
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Factors Influencing Interpersonal Conflict
• Gender and sex• Culture
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Communication Patternsin Conflict
• Symmetrical escalation – when each partner chooses to increase the intensity of the conflict
• Symmetrical withdrawal – when both communicators avoid the conflict
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Communication Patternsin Conflict
• Pursuit-withdrawal/withdrawal-pursuit–One partner pursues discussing the
conflict and the other withdraws–One partner withdraws prompting
the other partner to purse the conflict
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Communication Patternsin Conflict
• Symmetrical negotiation – when each partner mirrors the other’s positive negotiating behaviors– Listen to the other and reflect back
what they have heard
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The Dark Side of Interpersonal Conflict
• Bullying – occurs with distinct power differences between communicators exits and one is persistently abusing the other
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The Dark Side of Interpersonal Conflict
• Violence and aggression – imposing one’s will on another with intent to hurt or cause suffering–Often involves verbal
aggressiveness
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The Bright Side of Interpersonal Conflict
• Leads to positive evaluations of communication competence
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• Promotes physical and mental health– Positive interaction ratio –
proportion of positive comments to negative comments
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The Bright Side of Interpersonal Conflict
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Promotes Physical and Mental Health
–Negative interaction ratio – more negative than positive comments and interactions• The magic ratio – 5 positives to 1 negative is a good predictor of marital longevity
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Explaining Conflict
• The four-part model pictures conflict as a circle divided into four sections of conflict– You refers to one of the participants
in the conflict
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Explaining Conflict
• When people disqualify the you in conflict the response is aggressive and doesn’t take into account the need of the other person–This is called pouncing
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The Four-Part Model
• Me refers to the other participant–When people disqualify the me in
conflict they are being passive and ignoring their own needs• This is called placating
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The Four-Part Model
• Context refers to the emotional background surrounding the conflict–When people disqualify the context
they are ignoring the relational aspects and focusing on the rational aspects• This is called computing
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The Four-Part Model
• Subject refers to what the parties are arguing about–When people disqualify the subject
they change the topic to avoid conflict• This is called distracting
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The Relationship of Conflict to Power
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• Power can be defined as the ability to control the behavior of another
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The Relationship of Conflict to Power
• Using power–Direct application of power is using any
resource available to force the other to comply regardless of their wishes
– Indirect application of power is using power without making it obvious
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Using Power
• Relational messages are a form of indirect applications of power
• When people send relational messages they define the relationship, implying they have the power to do so
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The Relationship of Conflict to Power
• Sex differences are often based on sex role stereotypes
• Empowerment is helping to actualize another's power– Power balancing
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Choices for Conflict Management
• Lighten up and reframe • Presume good will and express
good will• Ask questions• Listen• Practice cultural sensitivity
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