chapter 7 emotions & communication what am i feeling? is that right? how do i constructively...
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Chapter 7Emotions &
CommunicationWhat am I feeling? Is that right?
How do I constructively express feelings?
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Saarni-first originated emotional competence Goleman-capitalized on it with Emotional
Intelligence, the IQ of emotional competency
Saarni & Goleman
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1. Physiological-bodily changes occur 2. Nonverbal reactions-observable changes-
Powerful way in expressing/conveying emotions
3. Cognitive interpretations-the mind’s role in determining emotional state4. Verbal expression-sometimes words are necessary& cannot rely on perceptiveness to sure you are understood accurately
What are Emotions?4 Components
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Annoyed Angry Furious
Content Happy Ecstatic
Anxious Afraid Terrified
Liking Loving Adoring
Different Degrees of Intensity
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Physiological ORGANISMIC-James & Lange Physical first, then emotions-most instinctualExample: Almost hit garbage on freeway—swerve—heart racing, sweaty palms, etc.--FEAR
Influences on Emotions
StimulusPhysiological
Response Emotion
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Perceptual APPRAISAL THEORY Subjective perceptions shape external phenomena,
gaining meaning only as we attribute significance to them
Example: Taking a test—low test score—not very smart—
(event) (perception of event)(interpretation)
disappointment/shame, etc.(response)
Influences on Emotions
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COGNITIVE LABELING-how you label the physiological response –use of language
Example: Taking a test—low test score—anxious—
(event) (physiological-knot-in-stomach) (label response w/
language)
disappointment/shame, etc.(response-comes from label not perception)
Influences on Emotions
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Hochschild-Interactive View of EmotionsFraming Rules-define emotional meaningFeeling Rules-right to feel or expected to feelDeep Acting-control inner feelingsSurface Acting-control outward expressionEmotion Work-effort made to think about what
is appropriate in situations-allows engaging in deep acting
Social Influences
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Social Expectations Gender
Vulnerability-Risky/disky Protecting Others Social & Professional Roles
Obstacles
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1. Speaking in Generalities-What does the speaker really feel? General & abstract statements
“I feel bad”, “I’m happy”, “I’m fine”, “I’m frustrated”
Angry, confused, hurt, anxious, disappointed, etc.
Tend to recognize only a few emotions leaving us with limited emotional vocab to clearly communicate
Why We are Ineffective in Expressing our Emotions
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Not owning feelings Use too much “you” languageYou made me !Need to reword statement to make it your ownI feel angry when you do not follow through on what you say you will do.I feel (emotion) when you (describe the behavior).
More Ineffectiveness
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Counterfeit Emotional Language-language that seems to express emotions but does not actually describe what a person is feeling. Why can’t you leave me alone!-no feeling That’s just how I feel!-figure it out first I feel this discussion is getting off onto another
subject.-states a thought not a feeling
Ineffectiveness cont.
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1. This was a great evening!2. You’re being awfully sensitive about that.3. I can’t figure out how to approach him.4. I’m confused about what you want from
me.5. I don’t know how to tell you this…6. I feel as if you’re trying to hurt me.7. It’s hopeless.8. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from
under me.
Exercise-Find the Feeling
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Re-Write to Exercise
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Contribute to effective functioningVs
Detract from effective functioning
Characteristics: intensity duration
Facilitative vs Debilitative
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Fallacy of PerfectionFallacy of ApprovalFallacy of ShouldsFallacy of OvergeneralizationFallacy of CausationFallacy of HelplessnessFallacy of Catastrophic Expectations
Irrational Thinking & Debilitative Emotions
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Monitor emotional reactionsNote the activating eventRecord your self-talkReappraise your irrational beliefs
Minimizing Debilitative Emotions