chapter 14: managing loss, death, and grief

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Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

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Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief. Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert. Importance of Teaching. Everyone goes through it. Today the living are isolated from the dying. Many parents isolate children from a dying person and the funeral. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Page 1: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert

Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Page 2: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Everyone goes through it.Today the living are isolated from the dying.Many parents isolate children from a dying

person and the funeral.Death portrayed in the media is often

misleading and confusing.Many parents do not feel comfortable talking

about death.To allow children to express their feelings.

Importance of Teaching

Page 3: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

1 in 20 children will lose a parent by the age of 18.

1 in 3 children will spend their first 18 years with one parent.

1 in 5 families move each year.Almost every child will experience the death

of a pet, friend or relative.

Prevalence

Page 4: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Ages 3 to 5Children don’t understand the finality of

death.View dead as being able to eat, work, laugh,

and cry as if alive.Children often seem matter of fact or callous

about death.Because of this they see no reason to grieve.Adults should not explain death to this age in

terms of sleep or vacation.

Developmental Stages for Understanding Death Stage 1

Page 5: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Ages 5 to 9.Have understanding of finality.Believe that an outside source such as

“bogeyman” or “death man” causes death.Many guilt feelings are associated with death.Teachers need to be aware of these guilt

feeling and try to alleviate them.

Developmental Stages of Understanding Death Stage 2

Page 6: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Ages 9 and older.Fully Understand the finality of death.Know that it is something that happens within

the body and happens to everyone.Associate death with other, “old” people.Feelings expressed in such ways as acting

out, crying, anger, or self-injurious behavior.

Developmental Stages of Understanding Death Stage 3

Page 7: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Grief is the psychological and sometimes physical response to the death of a loved one or to the loss or longing of someone due to transition.

2 types of grief:Low-grief- have already grieved prior to

death.High-grief- more emotional and lasts longer

because of no preparation for death.Three stages of grief.

Stages of Grief

Page 8: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Begins after hearing about the death of a loved one.

Includes crying, confusion, stress, and disbelief.

Can typically last up to two weeks after the death.

Denial is the reason that many act calm during a funeral and this should not be mistaken as acceptance of the death.

Grievers desperately need support from friends and loved ones.

Stage 1 – Denial, Shock, and Disbelief

Page 9: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Begins after survivors have recognized the reality of death.

Usually lasts up to one year.Feeling experienced are sadness, depression,

guilt, preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased, anger, apathy, and numbness.

Not uncommon to experience loss of appetite, insomnia, crying spells, and restlessness.

Children are usually angry, appear selfish and act younger than they are.

Stage 2-Dispair, Numbness, Guilt, Sadness and Apathy

Page 10: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Begins approximately one year to 15 months after the death.

Still depression during this stage.Survivors should be allowed to express their

grief and not be asked to repress it.Recalls positive memories of the deceased.Survivor accepts death and tries to move on

with life.

Stage 3-Recovery and Resolution.

Page 11: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Important for school professionals to understand to help children grieve.

Grief is normal, natural, and a healthy response to loss.

Grief is a unique, lifelong process for everyone who have experienced a loss.

Everyone has the capability to heal in a supportive and emotionally safe environment.

3 Dimensions of Grief

Page 12: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

DenialAngerBargaining DepressionAcceptanceThese stages should not be evaluated as good

or bad.One of the biggest fear of dying people is the

fear of being alone.

Stages of Dying

Page 13: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

It is important for teachers to be honest and open.

Teachers should be as factual as possible.Teachers should avoid providing personal

values no controversial issues related to death.

Teachers should be especially good and supportive listeners.

Teachers should ask children to explain what they have learned about death during class.

Teaching about Loss, Death, and Grief

Page 14: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Teachers will have to deal with this topic and should be prepared.

Best to discuss death before it occurs. There are several guidelines to remember

when discussing death with elementary and middle school students.

Teacher’s role when a student or a students relative is dying or dies

Page 15: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

It is important for school personnel to understand how to help children deal with disasters and traumatic events.

Children feel a loss of control.They experience a loss of stability.They are very self-centered.Teachers should practice emergency

procedures.Teachers should try to focus on some positive

events surrounding the event.Teachers should try to maintain a routine for

children.

Dealing with Disasters or Traumatic Events

Page 16: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Symptoms-ClinginessAggressivenessWithdrawal from activities or friendsIncreased fight with friendsSchool of avoidanceLoss of interest and poor concentration in schoolRegressive behaviorHeadaches or other physical complaintsDepressionFear about safetyDifficulty sleeping because of nightmares.

Dealing with Disasters or Traumatic Events

Page 17: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Suicide is the third leading cause of death of 10 to 14 year olds.

It is first important for teachers to understand the risk and protective factors associated with youth suicide.

School’s Role When Handling a Suicide

Page 18: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Things that can enhance resilience to suicide.Includes:Easy access to help for emotional and mental

health problems.Restricted access to lethal means.Family and community support.Learned skills and problem solving, conflict

resolution, and nonviolent handling of arguments.

Cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide and support self-preservation.

Protective Factors

Page 19: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Changes in physical appearance.Changes in eating or sleeping habits.Apathy about school.Outbursts of anger, mood swings, and drastic changes in

behavior.Withdrawal from family, friends, and social activities.Increased use of alcohol and other drugs.Recent death of a loved one.Preoccupation with death.Giving away of prized possessions.Direct and indirect statements about suicide.Depression.

Warning Signs for Suicide

Page 20: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Don’t dismiss school or encourage funeral attendance during school hours.

Don’t dedicate a memorial to the deceased.Don’t have a large school assembly.Do give the students factsDo emphasize prevention and everyone’s role.Do provide individual and group counseling.Do emphasize that no on is to blame for the suicide.Do emphasize that help is available and there are

alternatives to suicide.Do contact the family of the deceased.Do ask students to make a plan for after school and the

evening.

Do’s and Don’ts When a Student Commits Suicide

Page 21: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

Compassionate Friendshttp://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspxPublic Broadcast Servicehttp://www.pbs.org/teachers/Suicide Hotlineshttp://suicidehotlines.com/westvirginia.html

Websites

Page 22: Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo BuscagliaEverett Anderson’s Goodbye by L. CliftonJenny is Scared! By Carol ShumanCharlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Literature for Children