chapter 14: managing loss, death, and grief
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Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief. Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert. Importance of Teaching. Everyone goes through it. Today the living are isolated from the dying. Many parents isolate children from a dying person and the funeral. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert
Chapter 14: Managing Loss, Death, and Grief
Everyone goes through it.Today the living are isolated from the dying.Many parents isolate children from a dying
person and the funeral.Death portrayed in the media is often
misleading and confusing.Many parents do not feel comfortable talking
about death.To allow children to express their feelings.
Importance of Teaching
1 in 20 children will lose a parent by the age of 18.
1 in 3 children will spend their first 18 years with one parent.
1 in 5 families move each year.Almost every child will experience the death
of a pet, friend or relative.
Prevalence
Ages 3 to 5Children don’t understand the finality of
death.View dead as being able to eat, work, laugh,
and cry as if alive.Children often seem matter of fact or callous
about death.Because of this they see no reason to grieve.Adults should not explain death to this age in
terms of sleep or vacation.
Developmental Stages for Understanding Death Stage 1
Ages 5 to 9.Have understanding of finality.Believe that an outside source such as
“bogeyman” or “death man” causes death.Many guilt feelings are associated with death.Teachers need to be aware of these guilt
feeling and try to alleviate them.
Developmental Stages of Understanding Death Stage 2
Ages 9 and older.Fully Understand the finality of death.Know that it is something that happens within
the body and happens to everyone.Associate death with other, “old” people.Feelings expressed in such ways as acting
out, crying, anger, or self-injurious behavior.
Developmental Stages of Understanding Death Stage 3
Grief is the psychological and sometimes physical response to the death of a loved one or to the loss or longing of someone due to transition.
2 types of grief:Low-grief- have already grieved prior to
death.High-grief- more emotional and lasts longer
because of no preparation for death.Three stages of grief.
Stages of Grief
Begins after hearing about the death of a loved one.
Includes crying, confusion, stress, and disbelief.
Can typically last up to two weeks after the death.
Denial is the reason that many act calm during a funeral and this should not be mistaken as acceptance of the death.
Grievers desperately need support from friends and loved ones.
Stage 1 – Denial, Shock, and Disbelief
Begins after survivors have recognized the reality of death.
Usually lasts up to one year.Feeling experienced are sadness, depression,
guilt, preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased, anger, apathy, and numbness.
Not uncommon to experience loss of appetite, insomnia, crying spells, and restlessness.
Children are usually angry, appear selfish and act younger than they are.
Stage 2-Dispair, Numbness, Guilt, Sadness and Apathy
Begins approximately one year to 15 months after the death.
Still depression during this stage.Survivors should be allowed to express their
grief and not be asked to repress it.Recalls positive memories of the deceased.Survivor accepts death and tries to move on
with life.
Stage 3-Recovery and Resolution.
Important for school professionals to understand to help children grieve.
Grief is normal, natural, and a healthy response to loss.
Grief is a unique, lifelong process for everyone who have experienced a loss.
Everyone has the capability to heal in a supportive and emotionally safe environment.
3 Dimensions of Grief
DenialAngerBargaining DepressionAcceptanceThese stages should not be evaluated as good
or bad.One of the biggest fear of dying people is the
fear of being alone.
Stages of Dying
It is important for teachers to be honest and open.
Teachers should be as factual as possible.Teachers should avoid providing personal
values no controversial issues related to death.
Teachers should be especially good and supportive listeners.
Teachers should ask children to explain what they have learned about death during class.
Teaching about Loss, Death, and Grief
Teachers will have to deal with this topic and should be prepared.
Best to discuss death before it occurs. There are several guidelines to remember
when discussing death with elementary and middle school students.
Teacher’s role when a student or a students relative is dying or dies
It is important for school personnel to understand how to help children deal with disasters and traumatic events.
Children feel a loss of control.They experience a loss of stability.They are very self-centered.Teachers should practice emergency
procedures.Teachers should try to focus on some positive
events surrounding the event.Teachers should try to maintain a routine for
children.
Dealing with Disasters or Traumatic Events
Symptoms-ClinginessAggressivenessWithdrawal from activities or friendsIncreased fight with friendsSchool of avoidanceLoss of interest and poor concentration in schoolRegressive behaviorHeadaches or other physical complaintsDepressionFear about safetyDifficulty sleeping because of nightmares.
Dealing with Disasters or Traumatic Events
Suicide is the third leading cause of death of 10 to 14 year olds.
It is first important for teachers to understand the risk and protective factors associated with youth suicide.
School’s Role When Handling a Suicide
Things that can enhance resilience to suicide.Includes:Easy access to help for emotional and mental
health problems.Restricted access to lethal means.Family and community support.Learned skills and problem solving, conflict
resolution, and nonviolent handling of arguments.
Cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide and support self-preservation.
Protective Factors
Changes in physical appearance.Changes in eating or sleeping habits.Apathy about school.Outbursts of anger, mood swings, and drastic changes in
behavior.Withdrawal from family, friends, and social activities.Increased use of alcohol and other drugs.Recent death of a loved one.Preoccupation with death.Giving away of prized possessions.Direct and indirect statements about suicide.Depression.
Warning Signs for Suicide
Don’t dismiss school or encourage funeral attendance during school hours.
Don’t dedicate a memorial to the deceased.Don’t have a large school assembly.Do give the students factsDo emphasize prevention and everyone’s role.Do provide individual and group counseling.Do emphasize that no on is to blame for the suicide.Do emphasize that help is available and there are
alternatives to suicide.Do contact the family of the deceased.Do ask students to make a plan for after school and the
evening.
Do’s and Don’ts When a Student Commits Suicide
Compassionate Friendshttp://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspxPublic Broadcast Servicehttp://www.pbs.org/teachers/Suicide Hotlineshttp://suicidehotlines.com/westvirginia.html
Websites
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo BuscagliaEverett Anderson’s Goodbye by L. CliftonJenny is Scared! By Carol ShumanCharlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Literature for Children