chapped book
DESCRIPTION
A Chapbook of Poetry about ChapstickTRANSCRIPT
Chapped Book
By: Bobby Aultman
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Table of Contents:
3 Introduction
SECTION I: Unwrapped 4 Wanted 5 Flavors
6 Too Much of A Good Thing 7 PDA
8 Manliness 9 Sharing 10 Loyalty
SECTION II: The Twist
10 Betrayal 11 Lost and Alone
12 The Problem With Chapstick 13 Summer 14 Lies
15 Dearly Beloved;
SECTION III: Unwrapped Part 2 16 Forgotten
17 What It Feels Like To Melt 18 The Apology
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When trying to decide what my theme of this book would be, it was fairly simple.
For the class that this book was created for, my fellow classmates and I were tasked with creating a poetry chapbook of our own poems of any theme we wanted. This was the first time I had heard of such a thing as a chapbook and when thinking about what a chapbook was I decided it would be fun to write a chapbook about Chapstick. When I said it out loud is seemed odd and I was only kidding at first. When word got out that I was joking about doing it, the joke was to the point where everyone in the class were actually expecting me to do it. So I decided to give it a try. As I began writing I realized that it was actually possible to write an entire chapbook of Chapstick poetry. With the help of my professor, I started personifying Chapstick as an actual person in my life and it opened up more possibilities for poems for me to write. What I ended up with at the end of the semester, is probably some of my favorite poetry I have ever written myself. Collected in these pages are my favorite of the poems that I wrote about my dear friend, Chapstick. Hopefully, you can relate to some of these poems and my relationship to Chapstick. Thank you, Bobby Aultman
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SECTION I: Unwrapped Wanted: Reward offered To the first person To finish an entire stick of chapstick
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Flavors Original Cherry Strawberry Lemon-‐lime Mint Green Apple Vanilla Wild Berry All good enough to eat But don’t do that.
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Too Much of A Good Thing
Mother always said: “Too much of a good thing is a bad thing” I didn’t understand the meaning Until the first time I applied Too much chapstick It dries out your lips. Too much of a good thing Can have the opposite effect This goes for all things Drugs, Sex, and, Rock and Roll But especially, Chapstick
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PDA We never kiss in public But, is that my fault or yours? My lips feel dirty And my pride… My pride is hurt To admit defeat to the wind Is like admitting to your nemesis That you have been bested, You never let someone know When they beat you You continue on, Through the cold And lick your wounds In the privacy Of a bathroom stall
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Manliness Children pretend you leave a red stain and that doesn’t help me. I carry you with me And I’m ashamed. What if they saw us together? Would it hurt my dignity at all To know the general public Sees me pucker up And smooch
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Sharing Sharing is caring Except for with you I’m not a germ-‐a-‐phobe I just think it’s gross To know that you are on the lips Of another person The thought just… Creeps me out So if someone asks If I brought you around I lie I left you in my other shorts Yeah, right. Like I wouldn’t keep my eye on you.
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Loyalty
You don’t have to worry about me Because, loyal to you, I’ll always be No, Chap-‐aid, or Burt’s Bees You’re the only moisturizing lip balm I need
SECTION II: The Twist Betrayal I swear I didn’t mean it, Honestly You have to believe me, I’m down on one knee Begging for forgiveness, and you will see! It won’t happen again… Probably.
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Lost and Alone When I realized you were no longer with me I was scared Where could you have gone? You were right there with me Through thick and through thin What if I needed you? Like I do sometimes The soft feeling of you on my lips Is so refreshing to me When it is cold outside the wind breaks my lips but you put them back together I feel so terrible I don’t have time to look for you besides… You were only 98 cents You are replaceable.
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The Problem With Chapstick The problem with chapstick Is that it’s never there when you need it most It could be in your pocket for days. Weeks. Months. Getting in the way of you getting your keys Or your phone. But the second you have a cracked lip And you’re bleeding and peeling Where the hell did it go? Is there a hole in my pocket? No. Did it fall out when I laid down on the couch? I DON’T KNOW! And that Is the problem with chapstick
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Summer Oh Chapstick! How could you betray me? I carry you with me in the summer Even though I don’t even need you yet And you melt? Leaving a waxy residue in my pocket and I keep forgetting about it so I keep putting my hand in there and getting it on me Damn it.
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Lies All of my years we were friends But now I can finally see what you’re truly made of What the hell is this? Camphor? Phenol? Menthol? Do you know what that does to me? You hide behind your façade The feeling of relief that you bring But, ultimately I end up with sandpaper lips I always turn back Not remembering your lies You’re good like that
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Dearly Beloved; We gather here today to remember our friend, Chapstick. That was left in my car in the hot sun to melt. We will remember this chapstick, not by the puddle of wax That was left in my cup holder. But by the film of wax it left on our hearts, and on our lips in our times of need. Chapstick is survived by my lips, Who it has saved more times than I can count And by the millions of sticks made every day By it’s manufacturer, Pfizer Incorporated As Chapstick has become a very generic term for lip balm, We remember that chapstick was our brand. Not just our brand of choice But our brand of demand. Our brand we demanded as a necessity To save us from the hell that it chapped lips. And as we go about our daily lives, Let us never forget that there may be other brands But none that made us feel quite like Chapstick did. In Moisturizing Lip Balm’s name, we pray. Amen. Brother and sister in chapness, The procession will be taking a slight detour on our way to lunch today To stop by walgreens, So I can get a new stick. Thank you.
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SECTION III: Unwrapped Part 2 Forgotten In the hot car, I lay here without you. In your pocket, I tumble in the machine. On the floor, As you change your pants. I am forgotten.
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What It Feels Like To Melt Have you ever wondered what it feels like to melt? It certainly isn’t the most pleasant of feelings. The first thing to go is the feeling of hope, You know you will be in the heat until you are unrecognizable. You start off as a ball or a stick shaped by a tube And end up looing like half of a tube or a puddle, Depending on the position you are lying in. So next time you want to complain about the heat, Look at yourself, and ask. Are you still the same consistency than when you were normal tempature?
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The Apology I am sorry If you feel betrayed or hurt. If you feel as though I am not worth the effort I am only human and can make mistakes If you have a problem with what is inside of me I do not know what to tell you, It wasn’t my fault. So please don’t just throw me out Like some 99 cent piece of garbage Because I am more than that I am sorry.