Changing Families:A Small Group Approach to Help Children

Cope with Parental Divorce

Doug Williamson International School Bangkok

Background• Pre-K to Gr. 12: 1825 students• Students from 60 countries

– American 34%– Thai 20%– Japanese 8%– Korean 8%

• Each year 22% of students are new, approx. 425 students

• Parents work for embassies, oil companies, banking firms, etc.

• 60% are second-language speakers.

• 20% are in EAL.

Structural Overview• Groups require written parental

consent.• Groups are held during lunch.• Size is typically 8 students.• Groups meet weekly for eight

sessions.• Sessions are typically 40-45

minutes.

What’s in a Name?• Changing Families?• Children of Divorce?• Friendship group?• Other suggestions?

These include:• Finding eligible students and advertising group• Consent from both parents• Questionnaire for parents• Location for group • Reporting back/taking notes

Points to Consider

Session One• Introduce rules of group:

– One person speaks at a time.– It is o.k. to say “pass.”– It needs to be a safe place.– If we make a mess, we clean it up.– What we say in here, stays in

here.• Getting to Know You Activity.

– Statistical Treasure Hunt• Why are we here and who’s in

our house.• Divorce pretest• Close: one word how you feel.

Session Two• Welcome new members.• Poll students on rules of group.• Icebreaker: This week at home

was . . . ? • Art activity: Family Album• Share art activity.• Closing: What color do you

feel and why?

Session Three• Icebreaker: Thunderstorm in

round• Explain concept of change and

everyone affected.• Changes boxes:

– Check the applicable boxes– Color, cut and paste– Circle the one that hurt the most– Draw a heart around a good

change– Share any box(es)

• Close: One thing I liked today was . . . ?

Session Four• Icebreaker: If I could do magic,

I would . . . ?• Play “My 2 Homes.”• Close: One thing I learned

today was . . . ?

Session Five A• Icebreaker: Play emotional

Simon Says.• Complete “Stages of

Experience” solo and then pair-and-share.

• Students color stage(s) they are in.

• Complete personal plan for anger.

• Share one strategy.• Close: I hope . . .

Session Five B• Icebreaker: Play emotional

Simon Says.• Play film “Taking the Duh out

of Divorce.”• Discuss film and reaction.• Close: I hope . . .

Session Six (A)• Icebreaker: Good news I have

to share is . . . • Explain “unfinished business.” • Students write letters to Mom

and Dad with what they really wish they could say.

• Process:– How was it for you?– Easy to write? Hard?– Which letter was more difficult to

write? Why?• Let volunteers share aloud.

Discuss sending/giving.• Close: One thing I learned

today was . . . ?

Session Six (B)• Icebreaker: My favorite book is

. . . • Discuss fairy tales with

stepparents. Are they real? Fair? How do you feel about your stepparent?

• Read fairy tale (Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel, etc.)

• Discuss feelings sheet from character POV.

• Complete sheet for self and process.

• Close: I’m happy when . . .

Session Seven• Icebreaker: Write the ugliest

thing you can think of. What is the most beautiful? Share.

• How do you know it is ugly or beautiful?

• Explain “Good Side” sheet and have students share. Emphasize the good in divorce.

• If time allows, draw their future.

• Close: Introduce closure and plan party.

Session Eight• Closure and keeping door

open.• Party.• Divorce post-test• Group feedback form.• Reunion?

Resources• DVD: www.trevorromain.com• “My 2 Homes” at www.childworks.com• “Guiding Kids Through Divorce” by Jill

Riethmayer