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Men's Issues

Table Of Contents

Week One: Intro and Group RulesWeek TwoWeek ThreeWeek FourWeek FiveWeek SixWeek SevenWeek EightWeek NineWeek TenWeek ElevenWeek TwelveWeek ThirteenWeek FourteenWeek FifteenWeek SixteenReferences

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Group Rules

1. Confidentiality : Don’t Gossip. What’s said in group stays there.

2. Respect : Treat One Another with Dignity

3. Be Open Minded : Allow new ideas in – it won’t hurt.

4. Participate : Don’t just be a seat filler.

5. The Rogers & Rogers Rule of Manliness : If neither Mr. Rogers

nor the Cap. would do it neither will I.

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What is a good man? We would all like it to be said at our

funerals, “he was a good man” but what do we mean by that

statement?

What is a real man?

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What do you notice about the differences on the lists you made

on the previous page? Most people use feelings words, such as kind or

caring to describe a good man but use more tactile sensory words such

as tough to describe a real man.

The development of masculinity is a process that occurs over

time. As one learns how to be male, he learns to abide by a code,

pattern, or standard of behavior that he must prove to himself, his

peers, and society. Masculinity is stereotypically defined as the

opposite of being feminine. One must learn to demonstrate what is

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male, while actively opposing or ridiculing what is not (Heinrich 2013,

104).

Media representations, including photographs and

advertisements, of men emphasize the hardness of masculinity in

contrast to the softness of femininity. Emphasis is placed on: tightened

fists, clenched jaws, and bulging muscles. These depictions of the male

body are accompanied by sports cars, boats, and sporting equipment to

emphasize the power of masculinity (Mason 1992, 28).

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In a culture dominated by stereotypical masculinity, one of the

worst insults in to be too feminine, as in “you play like a girl!” Males are

taught at a very young age on the athletic field that females have less

value in spite of the fact that females’ motor skills tend to progress

more quickly (Journal of International Affairs 2013, 218). Over time

these attitudes that develop in little league can contribute to a general

devaluing and objectification of women (Journal of International Affairs

2013, 219).

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Masculinity is Killing Men

Hypermasculinity and its impossible goals have led to increasing rates

of alcoholism, workaholism and violence that are all shortening the life

spans of men in the US. While our society expects that young girls learn

to identify and express their emotions and cry when they are hurt or

sad, the opposite norms apply to young boys who are taught never cry

and only show emotions when they are angry. This leaves men isolated

and vulnerable to depression. While NAMI reports that women are

twice as likely to experience depression as men, men’s depression may

be masked by anger, alcohol or substance abuse, violence, and other

risky behaviors. Through this masking men are slowly killing

themselves for an outdated concept of masculinity that makes little

sense for the world we live in today (Holloway, 2015).

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21 st Century Masculinity is Broken

There is a constant need to prove yourself. The goals of masculinity are

basically impossible to achieve you cannot be a whole person and meet

all of the standards that the media sets in front of you. This leaves men

living on the edge, feeling like at any moment someone is going to

realize that they are really just “faking it” or bluffing their way through

a world that puts great value on hyper-masculinity. This old model of

masculinity is toxic to the health of men and to their relationships

(O’Malley, 2014).

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Culturally Men are Stuck

Manual Labor Careers Traditionally held by Men are Rapidly

Decreasing. Meanwhile service oriented and nurturing careers that

have typically been seen as “women’s work” such as social service and

nursing are increasing. The number of men entering colleges,

universities, and technical schools are also decreasing.

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Since World War II women have continually reinvented their gender

roles and fought against the stereotypes of the 19th and early 20th

centuries. However, many men have remained stubbornly fixed in place

while the world has changed around them (Romano, 2010).

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A Generation of Men Without Heroes

Our nation was founded on the ideals of men who were looked up to as

heroes. George Washington was a rebel, soldier, and statesman.

Abraham Lincoln grew up in a log cabin and was self educated before

leading our nation to the end of slavery. Teddy Roosevelt was well

known as an outdoorsman before ever becoming a president. Then in

the middle of the 20th century we have the entire generation of men

who served in World War II that were regarded as heroes being dubbed

the “Greatest Generation.” In the sixties, Buzz Aldren and Neil

Armstrong gave us a new style of hero as the US won the space race.

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However, today we don’t have any truly masculine heroes. The

cowboys, adventurers and pioneers are gone. After decades of foreign

wars our soldier’s roles have become blurred as they return home with

increasing burdens of physical injuries and emotional traumas.

Who does this leave to be the role models for young men today? Some

writers have cited this lack of role models and heroes as part of the

reason for the increasing violence associated with masculinity in recent

decades. They claim that without heroes and role models to

demonstrate how to be “a man” physical aggression is the last piece of

the old ideals of manhood that we are left with (Garland, 2012).

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Who were your male role models growing up?

Who are the men that you look up to now?

What events have caused your ideals of masculinity to change?

Healthy Masculinity

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Healthy masculinity is about balance and choices. If a man wants to

become a nurse, he becomes a nurse. If a man wants to a mechanic, he

becomes a mechanic. Likewise, if he wants to stay home and raise

children, then that’s what he does. Most importantly, he does not allow

outdated norms to control his relationships with his family, the way he

expresses his emotions, or how he lives his life (Penny 2013).

“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It

consists in daring to do the right thing and facing

consequences whether it is in matters social, political or

other. It consists in deeds not words.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

What would you add to these healthy definitions of masculinity?

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References:

Henrich, J (2013). The making of masculinities: Fighting the forces of hierarchy and hegemony in the high school setting. The High School Journal, Dec. 2012/Jan. 2013, 101-115.

Holloway, K. (2015). Toxic masculinity is killing men: The roots of men and trauma. Alternet. http://www.alternet.org/gender/masculinity-killing-men-roots-men-and-traumaJournal of International Affairs. (2014). An interview with Ted Bunch. Journal of International Affairs, 67 (1), 217-223.

Mason, G. (1992). Looking into masculinity: Sport, media, and the construction of the male body beautiful. Social Alternatives, 11(1), 27-32.O’Malley, H. (2014). Defining a modern masculinity. The Good Men Project.

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/defining-modern-masculinity-hesaid/Penny, L. (2013). We need to talk about masculinity. The

Guardian.https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/may/16/masculinity-crisis- men.Romano, A. (2010). Why we need to reimagine masculinity. Newsweek.

http://www.newsweek.com/why-we-need-reimagine-masculinity-71993.

“There is a time in a boy’s life when the sweetness is pounded out of him; and tenderness, and the ability to show what he feels, is gone.” ― Norah Vincent

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/what-masculinity-means-to-men_n_6527710.html

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