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book of poems and artwork from Katie Kach

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Page 1: Celestial Butterflies
Page 2: Celestial Butterflies

© 2008 by Katie Kach

Celestial Butterfl ies

Paintings & design by Katie Kach

Printed by Tiskarna Cicero

Ljubljana, 2008

CIP - Kataložni zapis o publikaciji

Narodna in univerzitetna knjižnica, Ljubljana

821.111-1

KACH, Katie

Celestial butterfl ies / Katie Kach. - [Ljubljana] : samozal.,

2008

ISBN 978-961-245-559-0

240590592

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Katie Kach

Celestial Butterfl ies

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Celestial butterfl ies

If love could be seen

He touches God in me

I see in you

I met a man

When night falls

I wonder why

Th e gift you bring

How many roads

Th e perfect lover

Yes, I am the one

Each time I think of you

Need love and gift love

I let go of you

In the Evening

Standing there

I wished you were my Valentine

I can’t say it your way

I’ve been a fool for love

Go with your open hands

I’m on my mission

A love song

Th is is my prayer for the one I love

I’m falling in love

Fire on ice

You’ve been great

Standing on a hilltop

You are the sun

When will I know?

Part One

Celestial Butterflies

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Part Two

Straight to the Point

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Fear has power but love has more

I’m a student and a teacher

Th e real thing

You did not wonder about my IQ

I’m living my life

I’m wondering about my mission

Don’t mis – interpret this

I’m turning into the real me

Straight to the point

Infi nity

Infi delity

Insanity

A being of amazing light

I’m not naive, I’m just being kind

Sinead, my way: Nothing compares to you

Th e Priestess

Th e gap of no mind

Have you ever had a secret love

In the heart of fear

You should have embraced me

When words are spoken

He gave me nothing

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I dedicate this bookto the »little me«who had a dreamof writing books of poetry.

So far, there have been three,thanks to you, »the little Keti me«,and to that vision you held ontothroughout the years so persistently.

I love you so very much,your grown-up self, Katie Kach

P.S. My gratitude extends to Michael W. and Christopher P.-G., without you there could not be the book you see.

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Part OneCelestial Butterfl ies

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13Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Celestial butterfl ies

you bring to my Eye,

transforming my inner vision,

releasing tension from my mind,

only tenderness now fl ows

through my veins,

and endless love.

Th e gift of you,

that we breathe together,

again,

on this Earth,

is enough to heal my Universe.

You kept a promise

and showed up just in time

smiling as if only yesterday

you left my world.

A waterfall of Love

I’ve since become

for all of us,

hoping a drop will reach you

and be like little stone’s ripples

on the sea of your understanding.

How else to thank you, my love?

Celestial butterfl ies

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16

If love could be seenit is in her eyes

when she calls his name.

If love could be heard

it is in the way

she whispers his name.

If all her words

could be contained in one

she would soft ly speak his name.

Th is is what love sounds to her.

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17Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Oh, don’t ask me what I’m doing,

I don’t know, I just don’t know,

but the way he loves me

I can’t let him go.

And the way he moves me

touches my very soul,

oh, the way he moves me,

how could I ever let him go.

I’m rising above water

peaceful like a dove,

and the way he soothes me,

could I ever let him go?

Because of him I’m stronger

and weaker than you know,

the weakest when I’m thinking

I’ll have to let him go.

I let him go with a blessing

hoping he would know

that true love lives in freedom,

and I do love him so.

He touches God in me

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20

I see in youthe mystery of the moon

the brightness of the furthest stars

I recognise in you the depth of longing

but also the long forgotten scars.

I hear in you

the voice of angels

the whispers from the soul,

and remember the promise

of so long ago:

surrender to the highest in you

surrender your every fear

open your heart to love

accept that Heaven is Here.

I see in you my power talk

and my shadow walk

I see in you myself complete,

in you my fears, my love, my passion

with my soul’s purpose meet

and dance until the last fear is gone

and only love keeps me moving on.

I see in you

all there is to see:

a perfect you looking at a perfect me!

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21Part One: Celestial Butterflies

I met a manand fell for him

right there and then

but his heart was taken

so I went away

and many a day

thought about him

was it an illusion

or could he be my dream?

Wait and see

advised my tree

so I waited and have seen

dreams turn into illusions

illusions into dreams

and nothing ever is

as at fi rst it seems.

I met a man

right there and then

we could have shared

a kiss and a sigh

but the moment went by

and we never took the chance

for the lovers’ dance.

I met a man

right there and then

I should have let it be

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22

but I guess we invented time

so we could learn to see.

I met a man

right there and then

we had all our allotted time

was the purpose of our meeting

simply for me to burst into rhyme?

I met a man

right there and then

we said hello

we said goodbye.

My heart knows

even as time goes by

my feeling then

was not a lie!

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24

When night fallswhat long you for

what ache disturbs your heart

where do you rest your weary head

who keeps your fi re on?

who strokes your forehead soft ly

who walks with you the enchanted land

who holds your hand

who returns your smile?

When day brakes

who bakes your bread

lays a fresh shirt on your bed

who keeps you smiling all day long

who sings for you a silly song?

When business is done

and the sun goes down

are you looking for her?

She may be contained in a stone

you are holding in your hand,

or she may be in a far away land,

you can touch her soft warm body

with your mind,

but who is the one you are looking to fi nd?

When night falls

who calls to you

with a gentle whisper in your ear,

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25Part One: Celestial Butterflies

who melts your demons,

your shields, your fear?

who listens to your breathing

when you sleep,

who knows what makes you smile

and what makes you weep?

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26

It might have been

the two of us

but time went by

and I wonder why

you never gave us a real chance,

not even for a single dance.

Were you afraid

I’d step on your toe,

or simply dance my way

into your soul,

so you’d fi nally let go

and give in to love?

We will never know!

I wonder why

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27Part One: Celestial Butterflies

You come in a new body

and carry a diff erent name

but you are the messenger

from my soul wound all the same.

We are destined to meet

and bring gift s our souls need

but our personalities can’t see them

for they are full of desires and greed.

While our soul strives towards a single goal

our personality keeps busy with material things,

hoping one day this joy brings,

and wishing for the most perfect love

fi nally appearing at the door

and giving us all we ever longed for.

Th e gift you bring

the song you sing

only my soul will help me understand

for the message you carry to me

is heaven sent.

It does not speak of a wedding ring,

it doesn’t come with a single material thing,

it brings my fi rst and deepest wound

from the depth of my heart

to be seen again

and remembered

Th e gift you bring

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28

why and how and when

I fell apart

and have been searching ever since

for the missing peaces of my heart,

amongst people and things,

in clouds, and poems, and dreams...

I thank you for the gift you bring

I love you for the song you sing

for the healing of my soul,

and I hope my gift to you

will help you heal also.

If ever you wonder

what my gift to you has been,

remember,

only with the eyes of your soul

it can be seen!

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29Part One: Celestial Butterflies

How many roadsmust a woman walk down

before she is rescued by her man,

yes, and how many seas

must a man sail around

before he can rest in her land?

Th e answer, my friend,

is written in the sand,

the answer is written in the sand...

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30

I’ve exhausted all the ways

of looking for the perfect love

oh, the possible and the impossible ways

of searching for thee,

I traversed the Universe,

the tangible and the invisible worlds

in hope you’d set me free,

the best men I had, and the worst,

but never peace, and desire to simply be...

I’d travel light, armed only with hope

in the middle of the night

to an unknown direction,

yearning for your healing embrace

and your protection,

I’d climb a mountain, sail the sea,

all for a vision of the perfect thee...

But my ears could not hear

and my eyes could not see,

piece by piece I threw myself away

still trying to reach thee...

On an ordinary day

I surrendered my search

and all that was left of me to God,

and fi nally he let me see

that the Perfect lover was Me!

Th e perfect lover

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31Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Yes, I am the onefrom inside your heart,

I’m the funny one, remember,

and the wild one, and the smart.

I’m the one that visits

oft en in your sleep,

I’m the one you let go of

but would most want to keep.

I’m the one that used to make you smile

but can now make you weep,

I’m the wound you carry

inside you, cutting deep...

And when the working day is done,

the one you oft en think of,

yes, I am that one.

I’m the one that’s calling

from the ethers

and will keep calling

forever more,

but your heart must have been closed

and I cannot seem to reach your shore.

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32

If I could help you see the grand design

so you would feel more peace of mind,

if I could take you to a parallel land

where we played happily, making castles in the sand,

if I could whisper into your ear

all the magic words you’ve been longing to hear,

if I could see inside your heart and soul

and understand all there was to know,

if I could turn up at will in your sleep

and bring out the love you chose to keep,

if we made love like never experienced before,

and all the gift s lovers had for you,

I could give you even more.

If I could do any of these things for you,

I’d be truly happy, and you know why?

Because each time I think of you

it makes me feel I’m so alive!

Each time I think of you

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33Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Need love lives in bondage

in darkness and despair,

but gift love lives in freedom

as do birds in the air.

Need love says:

Please stay, I love you so!

But gift love says:

With a blessing I let you go!

My love is the latter kind,

I wish you joy and peace of mind!

Need love and gift love

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34

I let go of youall pain was the little child’s.

I let go of you with forgiveness

seeing we are both innocent.

I let go of you with gratitude

the lessons presented

were your gift s to me.

I let go of you with joy

for we are both now free of bondage.

I let go of you with peace of mind

so only peace can fi ll our hearts.

I let go of you with faith

that we shall both be healed.

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35Part One: Celestial Butterflies

And then, in the Evening,

resting in my comfortable armchair,

the question never asked before, less answered,

will linger in the air...

Did I dare?

I almost did that time

she suddenly turned round

upon reaching the top stair,

and a naughty curl dropped down

her perfect shoulder bare,

I nearly did tell her then

I loved her from the moment

she appeared as if from thin air,

but then she caught my longing gaze

and I simply did not dare.

And did I dare

go dancing with her barefoot,

spend midsummer’s night

by the fi re in the wood,

deliciously wrapped up

in her silken hair,

whispering words of love

into the smoky air.

Although I knew I should

I did not dare.

In the Evening

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36

Look! I’m dancing now

holding your picture

high up in the air,

if only you could see me now,

I dare say: I love you!

I dare! I dare! I dare!

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37Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Standing thereby the sea

choppy waters

inside me...

rushing waves

jumping free

on horizon

plain to see

you aren’t coming

home to me...

gathering clouds

stormy sea

in my mind

a lonely tree...

broken shells

a seagull’s cry

why my love

isn’t sailing by...

all my dreams

on a pebbled beach

washed away

beyond reach...

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40

I wished you were my Valentine

and then I remembered

your soul’s never apart from mine.

We are petals of the same fl ower,

shielded under God’s protective shower,

tasting life’s sweetness, but also the sour,

both reaching towards our destiny

and claiming back full power.

So, in my mind I came to know

what had been obvious to my heart and soul:

there is not a moment going by

when I do not love you,

and the love I have been feeling

is healing my heart, too.

For a time I fought against

giving too much love,

but again I began to see

there could not possibly be

such a thing as too much love,

for Love’s supply is endless

and so it should be below

as it is above.

I reached my higher self

through feelings I had for you

and now to my open heart

I wished you were my Valentine

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41Part One: Celestial Butterflies

I choose to remain true,

and I do have some advice

my fl ame mate, for you, too:

Th e one you have been longing

for so long to caress,

you need not hold on to,

forgive, release, and bless.

We are all part of the circle

of the same twin fl ame heart,

we are ‘the other’

so we can never be apart,

in truth you are your twin fl ame

as I too am mine,

they come from the One Love

just like you and I.

When I fi rst looked

into your amazing eyes,

I was astonished

when I realized,

although yours are brown

and my twin fl ame’s are blue

there is the same love always

shining through,

I’m not a blond

and have not her eyes

but I might have been

a like surprise.

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42

We may not choose

to keep in touch

on the earth plane so much,

we may have completed

all we were destined to do

in assisting each other’s awakening

and bringing more light through.

But should you ever desire

my soul’s tender touch

you need but think of Katie Kach!

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44

I can’t say it your wayI can only say it my way,

but Love, in its own way

will have the fi nal say!

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45Part One: Celestial Butterflies

I’ve been a fool for loveI’d do it all over again

and tomorrow or in a thousand years

we are caught inside another perfect moment, friend.

All times we had

and the ones ahead of us still

are contained in the now

if I open my heart

and allow myself to feel.

I’ll be a fool for love

each time my heart jumps for joy,

and one day you too may realize

there’s nothing higher to aim for in one’s life

but to be able to feel love,

it is the highest prize!

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48

Go with your open handsto the very end:

to the dungeon with your fears

to the witch inside your heart

to the shadow stalking

to the fi nal drop of blood.

Go with your open hands

to the very end:

to eternal spring

to your wildest passion

to your highest dream,

go to the innermost truth,

go to the innocent child,

go with your open hands

and embrace the most perfect love.

Don’t believe in your lover

but do believe in Love.

Give it to the witch inside your heart,

take it into the dungeon

and feed it to your fears,

splash it on your shadow

and see it disappear.

Go with your open hands

to the very end.

You don’t have to believe in your lover

but you must believe in Love!

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49Part One: Celestial Butterflies

I’m on my missionand you are on yours

although united at their source

our river’s paths

thus diff er in their course.

Th ey met one perfect moment

and joined in tumbling mirth

on our soul’s journey

as they were destined from birth.

I have loved you always

and if ever I rise again

from this or another earth

I’ll remember you, my friend,

from lifetimes gone,

from our shared dreams,

and I’ll remember you in my verse.

We embarked on the journey

which cannot be reversed,

we share a deep longing

our soul’s innermost thirst:

to be completely known and all forgiven,

in each other’s beauty totally immersed,

me, to be the leading lady,

you, to be thought of fi rst.

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50

Although this time round

we seem to diff er in our quest

from deep within my heart

you are loved and blessed.

I can see you ever more clearly

with my inner sight

you have an amazing power

and you are fi lled with light.

I hope you will achieve

your highest aim and glory

and I pray for a happy ending

to your love’s unfolding story.

Th is is me

thinking of you

on this special day,

surrendering all to next time

we are destined

to meet again and play.

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51Part One: Celestial Butterflies

For a few moments shared

for endless moments left unopened

perhaps because we both were scared.

For tears and laughter your existence brought

for deep longing in which I got caught.

For thoughts exchanged in our mind

for heart shaped stones I so oft en fi nd.

For letters written, seldom sent

for astral travel hand in hand.

For all the places we were meant to see

for stories I told you and you told me.

For our painting left undone

for being to my moon, it’s opposite, the sun.

For all that, all that, dear one

the mystery will remain.

It’s in her destiny to know

if you could have been Th e One.

A love song

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54

May God protect and bless

the one I love

may he always walk free

may he carry a smile on his face

even if he smiles not at me.

May he join the one he loves

may they be as joyous as they can be

may he walk in his chosen direction

even if the direction doesn’t lead to me.

May he hear the sound of his soul

may he fi nd calm under his tumultuous sea

may he walk the path of his destiny

even if his destiny is not with me.

I deeply thank the one I love

for opening my heart so I now can see

I wish him only to fi nd himself

even if it is not through me.

I release the one I love

our marriage on earth was not meant to be

but in the furthest reaches of the universe

we are always one, from forever to eternity.

Th is is my prayer for the one I love

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55Part One: Celestial Butterflies

I’m falling in love.It is frightening.

It is beautiful.

It’s like a storm collapsing my walls.

Th e Universe supports each step I take,

the Power again is mine, and it was about time.

I let go of my fear in love’s embrace,

whatever will come, I’m ready to face.

Such is the power of Love!

Too long at a standstill

I fi nally turned towards love that’s Real.

Th is is divine will!

I’m in a fairy tale land,

it may last, it may end,

but right now

I’m on a date with Eternity again!

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58

My rose has a thorn

close to my heart it is worn,

oft en the greatest reward

comes at the highest price,

but it did make me realize

it is possible to make fi re on ice.

If the ice doesn’t melt too soon

my fi re may dance its way up to the moon.

While others have it smooth and nice

I go about building my fi re on ice.

I know it’s not easy,

I’ve tried more than twice

but won’t give up trying

now I know it is possible

to make fi re on ice.

Fire on ice

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59Part One: Celestial Butterflies

If because of you I aspire higher

if I’m fi lled with intense desire

if you help me reach a creative state

how could I say anything else but:

You’ve been great!

If you help shape me

into a strong but supple willow tree,

forcing my branches to make or break,

with everything at stake,

how could I then ever say

you happened to me by mistake.

If for you I long to paint or write a song,

if for you I’m willing to wait for so long,

if for you I don’t even mind being wrong,

aft er all you may not be my fl ame mate,

but what matters to me is that

you’ve been great!

You’ve been great

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61Part One: Celestial Butterflies

Standing on a hilltophills behind me

hills before me

unattached at last

even to the outcome of my journey...

the Goddess inside knows

the only beauty worth having

is the one unchanged by the passage of time

and life’s circumstances,

to gain it

it took losing all else...

I stand naked

loving every inch of my skin,

its scars and many wounds,

and there in its scent

lies all the re-remembering...

he neither came nor left ,

never kept away or returned,

he has always been right here,

and there is nothing I need

I do not already have,

realizing this makes me smile...

I feel free to invite you, friend

to take my hand

for a stroll along the beach,

leaving footprints in the sand,

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62

the waves washing each one

into the sea...

let us come, you and I,

may our many tears

melt with the waves

gently caressing our feet...

the only imprint remaining

the one in our hearts

of the moment we walked

at the water’s edge

holding hands, feeling carefree,

you and I,

laughing,

by the sea...

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63Part One: Celestial Butterflies

You are the sunto my moon

you are the fuel

for my fi re

you are the inspiration

behind my vision

you are the stirrings of desire...

I know you

like color knows its sound

you are a vibration

not yet earth bound...

We move in realms

beyond the screen,

we live in worlds

intangible, unseen,

in this one, have we ever been?

Here in our painting I see no bliss,

and yet I know it is a masterpiece!

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64

When I’m as peaceful and still

as a lake that lay undisturbed for ages

and gazing into my eyes

he will be able to see

the refl ection of his full beauty.

Th at is when I will know

and he will know

that we arrived.

When will I know?

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Part TwoStraight to the Point

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67Part Two: Straight to the Point

Fear has power but love has moreFear keeps us in the past

but love propels us forth.

Fear is about memories that seem to last

love is the letting go of the past.

Fear is keeping us rigid and still

love is a blessing so our hearts can heal.

Fear is a denial of what is

love is the acceptance of divine bliss.

Fear is our chronic pain

love is where heavens reign.

Fear is about all that’s gone

love is all that goes on.

Fear is a must

until we realize only love can last.

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68

I’m a student and a teacherI teach that which I have to learn,

I know I do not know

but I can express that well

to those who don’t know that they don’t know.

I teach all who want to learn,

I teach by becoming more of who I am,

I teach by seeing them for who they are,

I help us all remember.

I learn by the way I teach,

they learn by the way they receive my teaching.

When I teach well, I learn well,

and become a better teacher,

and more of who I am, each day.

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69Part Two: Straight to the Point

When you go about collecting

beautiful people and things

and keeping them in your home,

consider collecting beautiful moments instead

and keeping them in your heart.

When you get tempted to use big words

coming from your ego mind,

think again and start using simple words

coming from your higher mind.

Each time you run away from pain

better choose running into the very heart of pain

until pain just can’t stand you any longer.

Even when you think happiness should be your only goal

do not avoid opportunities

for experiencing all human emotions.

If perfect health, family and career

still leave you feeling empty inside,

it’s time to make the choice

to be fi lled again with passion for all life.

Instead of travelling to distant lands

in search of gurus and peace of mind,

travel in your mind to your true home

and follow your soul’s advice.

Th e real thing

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70

Although you can achieve some big things

with little or no love,

try doing small things that truly matter

with great love instead.

Instead of striving towards immaculate looks,

winning titles and creating perfect homes,

imagine rather being oft en out of place,

with no masks on your face,

and with a tongue that can sting,

but nevertheless

being through and through

what people call: Th e Real Th ing!

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71Part Two: Straight to the Point

You did not wonder about my IQor my point of view

to you I was just another pretty face,

while loving embrace

was the only thing on my mind

and the last thing I could fi nd.

I did not off er instant fun

or bathe nude for you in the sun

and there were others with a soft er tongue

telling you that you were Th e One,

so you picked the fi rst one there

and let go of this fl ower rare.

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72

I’m living my lifein happiness or strife

but it’s my life.

I make mistakes

get bruises and aches

but I’m still alive.

I do silly things

choose neurotic lovers

over boring nerd’s wedding rings

but, hey, it’s my life.

I oft en get deserted

through misunderstanding

my words perverted

but such is life.

I get attacked, or mocked, or sacked

but it’s bound to happen in one’s life.

I get bored, or money’s running short

but that’s all part of life.

I’m one day fi lled with passion

the next nearly go insane from pain

but it makes me feel alive.

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73Part Two: Straight to the Point

I’m sometimes healthy

and sometimes sick,

there’s no knowing

when my fi nal hour

on the clock of life will tick,

such is the nature of our lives.

But there’s one thing about life

that’s absolutely sure,

and for that there is no cure:

I will live until the day I die

when a diff erent cycle will begin,

and I guess I’ll be saying then:

oh, well, such is aft er life!

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74

I’m wondering about my missionand my higher aim

in the meantime every day

seems just the same.

What’s the whole point,

should I just roll a joint

and wait for some magic inspiration,

or stroll down to a fl oat tank

and indulge in fl oatation,

that should clear my foggy mind

and help me fi nd my quest,

and if nothing else

simply give my mind a rest.

Or should I have a chocolate fudge

to help me forget the grudge

I’ve been holding on for so long,

or should I start going to the gym,

build up my muscle tone

to appear, oh, so strong.

Or, I’ll go to a brilliant movie

that’ ll keep me groovy

for a day or so,

and I may even be able to let go

next time someone steps on my toe.

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75Part Two: Straight to the Point

Oh, I know, I’ll off er free advice

to unsuspecting strangers,

as long as I keep it nice

it should do some good,

and elevate at least someone else’s mood.

To a man I could simply say:

dress in woman’s clothes for a day

and try acting like one,

it will be a revelation to you

and you may even have some fun.

To a woman I could also say:

dress as a man

go out and play

but make sure you blend in,

don’t let them fi gure out

your nipples seem too big

and your waist too thin.

But if all these eff orts fail to work,

oh, no, I won’t go berserk,

there’s always some vision quest

out there somewhere in the west,

and if even there

I’m still not getting anywhere,

I’ll simply join the rest!

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76

To human misunderstanding

there seems to be no ending.

Our miscommunication

is causing untold frustration.

Oft en a misconception

leads to deception.

Behind all misbehaving

lies unfulfi lled inner craving.

For the smallest misdemeanour

we are quick to fi nd a sinner.

We resort to misrepresentation

to cover up for lack of imagination.

Due to misinformation

even the innocent serve probation.

Public funds misapplication

is the cause of starvation.

When fortune tellers misadvice

we treat the right one badly, the wrong one nice.

Each time our meaning is misconstrued

it totally destroys our happy mood.

We think that for our mistrust

the reason we fi nd is always just.

Th ere are all kinds of misuse

right down to some serious abuse.

Oft en through a mischance

we fail at romance.

Th ere’s a huge amount of misapprehension

that I won’t even mention

Don’t mis – interpret this

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77Part Two: Straight to the Point

and every kind of mistake

leading to a nervous break.

So, I indeed am very glad,

for perfect is my solution

for everything that has been said,

and my advice is this:

from our vocabulary

we simply should dismiss

all words starting

with the prefi x MIS,

that should produce

an instant state

of human bliss!

Don’t mis – interpret this!

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78

I’m turning into the real melook and you might see

that I Am Love

making fi rst wobbly steps

but longing to run free.

I’m still holding onto another

but will soon need no other,

I’ll be running towards my sun,

letting go of days I still needed Th e One,

I will have become that One

I will have reached the Sun

I will dance my dance and I will run

reunited with ALL

but needing NO ONE!

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79Part Two: Straight to the Point

You go up and you go down

I go straight to the point.

You oft en go round and round

I go straight to the point.

You go only when safe and sound

I just go straight to the point.

You wait for the green light

I simply go to the point.

You sometimes go fast, at other times slow

I always go straight to the point.

You wonder whether left or right

I go straight, to the point.

You may have a secure life

but where’s the point?

Straight to the point

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80

Infi delity

all about me

wherever I look

under the tree

on forest paths

by the sea

even in the air

when one is in despair

it’s plain to see

every one longs to run free...

Infi delity

someone’s touching me

it’s someone’s toe

touching my toe

under the table

I can feel it

I know

he is desperate to be inside me

although that would mean infi delity...

Infi delity

we wish we were both free

so we could go about

touching each other openly

dancing

free of infi delity.

Infi delityInfi nity

all about me

wherever I look

under the tree

on the forest path

clouds in the air

strands of hair

elastic bands

all these shaped

again and again

into fi gure eights...

Infi nity

you are touching me

it is your soul

caressing my soul

I can feel it

I know

you are forever

with me

even though we let it be...

Infi nity

and yet we are both free

two souls entwined

in a fi gure eight

dancing

all about me...

Infi nity

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Insanity

all about me

wherever I look

in the streets

on forest paths

on the air

on TV

add mental asylums

and it’s plain to see

all minds are fi ghting off

insanity...

Insanity

might grab hold of me

if my mind doesn’t stop

talking nonsense incessantly,

common sense

might take leave of me

if my ego keeps poisoning my soul,

I can feel it

I know

it is forever a threat to me

this dreaded state of insanity...

Insanity

every one fi ghting to keep free,

dancing

away from insanity.

Insanity

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A being of amazing lightyou are carrying inside

speaking from your heart

its words of might.

It lives in your soul

and gives tender loving

when you surrender your woe.

It shines as bright as a star

it’s always right with you

although it comes from afar...

You are amazed

at its beautiful sight

you still can’t believe

you ARE this light!

You will be humbled

when the full story is told

that you are a soul

made of pure gold...

You need not search

in a far away land

all treasures you need

are right here, at hand...

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You need not wait

till perfect lover’s sent

he is always with you

in your inner land...

You are God’s voice

that had been silent for too long

it burst out in the open

spilling into a song...

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84

I’m not naive, I’m just being kindI choose to be tender, but can be thunder.

I’m forgiving, but not forgetting.

I oft en play the part of Th e Fool, but I’m not a fool.

I’m like a desert rain, unpredictable and never the same.

I’m a handful, yes, a hand full of surprise,

if you’d only care look into my eyes.

I’m a love lost and a love found,

my inner beauty always has been intact and profound.

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It’s been 9 years and 15 days

since you took your love away,

I stopped going out at night

and I can sleep any time of day

since you took your love away,

since you’ve been gone I can do whatever I want

but I can’t see whomever I choose,

I can’t eat my dinner at a fancy restaurant,

they all remind me of the ones I ate in with you.

Nothing compares, nothing compares to you...

It’s been so lonely without you here,

I’m like a bird singing a sad song,

nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling,

tell me, baby, where did we go wrong?

I can put my arms around every girl I see

only they don’t remind me of you,

I went to the doctor, and guess what he told me, he said:

girl, you better put on weight, no matter what you do,

but he’s a fool

cause nothing compares to eating with you...

All the fl owers that you planted, mama, in the backyard

have overgrown and blocked my view,

I know that living with you was never hard

since we never got that far,

but I was willing to give it a try,

cause nothing compares,

nothing compares

to you...

Sinead, my way: Nothing compares to you

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86

I’m desiring answers to questions

I never did dare ask,

searching for the missing piece

that would complete the puzzle, at long last.

Why is it not as easy as knowing the birdsong is beautiful

without understanding what it means,

why do we need answers to all the things?

Th ere stands the Priestess

at the portal of the world behind the veil

where things are never as they seem,

and for a moment I’m with her, an idea behind each form,

as we are riding on a light beam,

she shows me the reconciliation of the opposites

inside the mystery that is me,

revealing the potential of everything

I could ever conceive to be,

I’m Isis, Diana, Demeter, Artemis, Mary, Hathor,

and many more...

I know intuitively the answers I seek

the moment I abandon all rational thought

and look deep into my heart,

seeing the truth is the one missing peace

so nothing else will do

apart from completing the transformation

I have been going through.

Finding the missing piece of my self

is what I need to understand and see,

it will answer all the questions

that have been puzzling me!

Th e Priestess

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87Part Two: Straight to the Point

Step into the gap

of no mind

for eternal kiss

there you’ll fi nd

divine bliss

all that ever was

will be, all that is

nothing to want

nothing to miss

in the gap of no mind

all things exist,

there’s you and I

you and her

her and me

everyone that ever was

and could ever be

united from forever

unto eternity...

In between two thoughts

you will fi nd

the gap of no mind,

enter this –

it should not be missed,

all things reside inside,

all beauty

all that’s just and might,

everlasting life

Th e gap of no mind

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88

no pain, no strife,

all wisdom, all joy

for you to enjoy.

Search and you will fi nd

the gap of no mind

the Eternal One Love

on earth as above.

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89Part Two: Straight to the Point

Have you ever had a secret lovea love so secret you had to hide it

even from yourself ?

Have you ever felt overwhelming pain

a pain so deep

no regression could ever touch upon?

Have you ever experienced a moment

of absolute joy

a joy so incomprehensible

it could only have belonged to another planet?

Have you ever missed anyone madly

and the memory of whom

immerses your every cell in joy as well as sorrow

both indescribable with words?

Have you ever tried making friends

with your soul’s longing

a longing so constant

no amount of time could ever heal?

Have you ever had a moment

of complete surrender to what is

and in that one moment of a deep let go

melted with the one and all?

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90

Have you ever done anything crazy

a thing so unheard of

that they all thought you insane?

Have you ever shed tears in public

tears that demanded running

and not being wiped off your face

no matter the shame, the utter disgrace?

Have you ever had a moment of aloneness

and dared risking the voyage

into the depths of your heart?

Have you ever wondered about a poem like this

and truly desired to fi nd out

what it is all about?

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In the heart of fearendless love abides,

so pure

it frightens us...

I feel your pain, beloved,

I share your dreams,

your secret fears,

neither of our shadows

will keep us apart for long,

we must stand strong.

I will not rest

until I’ve reached your arms,

then I will rest in you

as you will rest in me.

Bon voyage,

my love,

till then.

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92

You should have embraced meor simply let me go

instead of playing

with my heart and soul,

although you touched me deeper

than you will ever know,

I feel it’s our goodbye now,

and never again: hello!

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When words are spokenthe real meaning of the thought

is lost forever.

Words confuse

and make us feel the world apart,

it’s impossible to speak one’s truth

when the message travels

from one to another broken heart.

So we sit in solitude

with nothing more to say,

hoping our higher mind

takes massages to those

for whom we oft en pray,

perhaps they will receive them once,

if not today.

In spite my many wounds

preventing me to speak,

I continue reaching to those

whose gentle touch

I feel when I’m asleep.

When awake, there’s nothing

to hold on to,

nothing much to keep,

but faith all expressions of pure love

assist the healing of our wound most deep.

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He gave me nothing,with that he gave me everything.

He woke me up, he set me free,

he did not love me, he just let me be,

with that he did so much for me.

Without a single touch he shook me up,

on broken branches there were no fruits to be,

but my roots remembered

that I once was a blossoming tree.

He did nothing, and with that

he did so much for me.

Here I stand proud,

my branches spreading out,

touching the sky, overlooking the sea,

I feel so high, I can’t but smile

at the fruits of my labor

everywhere my eyes can see...

He gave me nothing,

and yet, he delivered me back to me!

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